Romances with married men can be viewed in two ways - for some they are non-binding entertainment, while others try in every possible way to avoid such relationships. Are there advantages to such relationships, and how to end them with the least emotional losses?
Today, relationships outside the family, as a rule, do not lead to horror. Adultery does not threaten not only “stoning”, but even serious condemnation from friends. Nevertheless, such a connection always raises many questions and often provokes serious problems. How to deal with them? What is it based on? The psychologist's advice given later in the article will help answer the questions asked.
It is so customary in our society that relationships between a man and a woman most often develop on the initiative of a representative of the stronger sex. A woman can make it clear with a smile or a glance that she would not mind getting to know each other, but it is the man who will take the first steps in this direction.
But sometimes, when the acquaintance has taken place and everything has gone far enough, a woman suddenly finds out that she is having an affair with a married man. What to do, and most importantly, why did he start all this?
As psychologists explain, the reason for this is most often the relationships that have developed (or rather, not developed) in the family. If a man’s wife is the boss or simply, then she naturally suppresses her partner, and the latter, in order not to completely lose his manhood, begins to look for an outlet on the side.
But it also happens that the wife stops worrying, the man begins to treat her more like a relative. Everything in the family suits him, but sex is clearly lacking. It is too serious reason for adultery.
But what can push a woman or a young lady into such a relationship, because, as will become clear later, she basically does not have the future so expected by most ladies?
A relationship with a married man (the advice of a psychologist about which we are considering) turns out to be very tempting for some women. Such a gentleman, as a rule, is gallant, knows how to look after beautifully, does not skimp on compliments and gifts, and looks more reliable and respectable than bachelors of all ages.
And some ladies are driven to do this by the desire to assert themselves. After all, at home they no longer feel welcome as before, and the relationship with their husband is gradually slipping into the realm of endless solving everyday problems. And here everything is like in my youth!
But there is also a category of women who are specifically looking for relationships that have no future. They are pushed to do this by childhood experiences - or they grew up in incomplete family, where the mother was overloaded with work and could not pay due attention to the child’s state of mind, or the father treated his daughter distantly. In such cases, start a family.
If you listen to the answer to the question: “Is it worth continuing an affair with a married man?” - advice from a psychologist, it turns out that such a connection can be very useful for some ladies.
As you can see, with a conscious and calm position in the mentioned connection, both a man and a woman can discover a lot of positive and beneficial things for both parties.
But, as you understand, most often a woman’s relationship with a married man is not at all rosy. The psychologist's advice here is always the same - do not create illusions when entering into such a relationship. Remember:
There is one more nuance, without which it is difficult to understand what exactly a relationship with a married man consists of. The psychologist's advice given to women who have reached a dead end with the mentioned connection contains one important aspect: It turns out that married people are most willing to engage in adultery with married people! And, as it turns out, what comes to the fore here is the opportunity to indulge in your passion without risking virtually anything.
A man is looking for benefits, but what are relationships built on? married woman with a married man it is simple - the woman asserts herself or compensates for what she lacks in the family.
Amorous and overly emotional people go to new ones. But most often this happens if the husband is not affectionate enough or is not able to satisfy his partner. And if a woman discovers that her husband is cheating on her, then the desire for revenge may throw her into the arms of her lover.
From all that has been said above, we hope you understand that a married man, going in search of a mistress, least of all thinks about creating some kind of Serious relationships and dreams only of new intense feelings and sexual pleasure. That is why a relationship with a married man has no prospects and in the vast majority of cases is doomed to break. So maybe you should avoid it from the very beginning? Well, of course, this does not apply to those who take such a connection lightly, and those to whom for some reason it seems very convenient.
Yes, if you are planning a relationship with a married man, only you will decide what to do (support them or not), but remember: too much is being put on this altar. Such a relationship can only be short-lived and non-binding. Even if a miracle happens and your lover gets divorced to marry you, you can only dream of peace: after all, now your spouse can just as easily leave you as soon as he feels bored Everyday life- He already has experience!
And lastly (but perhaps most importantly) - you will have to become a professional in everything related to sex. After all, it was precisely this man who was looking for him on the side. And if you do not amaze your partner with your ingenuity, over time he will begin to run away from you.
If you are tired of the uncertainty of a relationship with a married man and decide to break off relations with him, do not give up and do not bring the situation to a state where your nerves cannot stand it and a loud scandal breaks out with breaking dishes and hysterics.
To begin with, imagine that you have achieved what you wanted - you married this man. Will you trust him? But answer this question honestly! Understand that having changed once, he will not stop before changing again. Now for you. AND new lover he will tell you the same thing that he “sang” to you, blaming himself for everything!
Such a man is incapable of making a decision conflict situations problems that arise over time in any family - he follows the easy path, changing partners. Do you want someone who will run away as soon as trouble arises? If not, then break up with him. Keep meetings to a minimum, and then stop answering his calls altogether. However, if he feels coldness on your part, he will quickly disappear - after all, as you already know, he is not used to solving problems!
We hope that the psychologist’s advice given above will help you answer the question “how to end a relationship with a married man.” If you are waiting for real feelings, then it is important to understand how futile this relationship is and how humiliating the position of the mistress is. You deserve to be an object true love, and not a toy in the hands of a man waiting only for pleasure. Don't waste time, look for your real half! Good luck!
Today I want to look at the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman from a slightly different perspective. She is free and beautiful. He is interesting, successful, but MARRIED.
A similar alliance occurs in modern world quite often, because it has ceased to be something forbidden and condemned by society. Previously, loving a married man was considered a disaster and a shame for a woman. Today this is quite acceptable.
Do you want to know why married men are willing to “get in touch”? Do you want to understand why they don’t leave their family? And how to behave with a married man?
Then let's figure out WHAT is a relationship with a married man and WHERE does it lead?
Danger! Keep out
Don't you think it's strange that similar warning does it only work on the transformer? Because it will really kill!
Everything else that does not kill immediately is questioned, since between the action and the result lies PLEASURE.
What pushes a man to have an affair?
- novelty of sexual and emotional sensations
- sexual dissatisfaction, fear of fading youth (you have to do everything in time), the desire to prove to yourself and friends that he is still WOW
- the need to establish a solid status, modern man who can afford to keep a gorgeous girlfriend
- not too high moral principles, in other words, if a man is a womanizer
- lack of understanding from the wife,
A man is looking for an outlet, a holiday, new sensations that charge him with energy, stroke his pride, and allow him to feel confident and satisfied.
Moreover, NORMAL man, and many women choose an affair with a married man, not considering him an unprincipled scoundrel. He realizes that he is betraying his wife - a woman to whom he owes a lot. What does it mean?
At home he tries to justify himself own eyes, atone for guilt. He becomes more attentive to his wife's wishes. Tries to be more tender and new in bed, putting into practice the tricks of a mistress.
The mistress, without wanting it herself, STRENGTHENS the marriage of her lover.
Why does a woman need a relationship with a married man?
For a woman, a relationship with a married man, no matter how strange it may sound, is also very, very attractive. Here you can highlight sound arguments and misconceptions.
Sound arguments - a woman knows what she wants:
A woman receives a man “ready to eat”, he is well-fed, well-groomed, already successful - this is the psychology of a mistress.
-You don’t need to shoulder a seemingly monotonous life - preparing breakfasts, lunches, dinners, washing dishes, cleaning, washing, ironing...
-A man is perceived as a gift in holiday packaging, while the wife is dealing with a man without a wrapper.
-A woman doesn’t want to get married today and now, but she doesn’t smile at being alone either. Therefore, dating a married man is perfect option For open relationship. No one owes nothing to nobody.
-A wealthy man is able to correct, and sometimes very noticeably, financial situation mistresses.
-Unconfident women with low self-esteem explain their actions by saying that there are not enough good men for everyone; they are ready to be content with a piece of the pie.
Misconceptions:
The woman is confident in her exclusivity. She sincerely believes that EVERYTHING will be different with her, not as hundreds of former lovers say in their memoirs.
- Naively believes in a man’s promises to leave his family... LATER.
- She is afraid to be alone, so she is ready to remain on the sidelines.
Each person has his own arguments. Each of them has the right to life. Everyone is free to accept own solutions, make your own mistakes, because you only learn from YOUR own mistakes.
If there is no taboo on having a relationship with a married man, most women, having experienced the charms of someone else’s husband, will succumb and risk experiencing the taste of the forbidden fruit for themselves.
I will not moralize about why a relationship with a married man has no right to exist.
I want to reveal to you TWO patterns, which, like any law, operate independently of our consciousness.
1. A man leaves not where it is BETTER, but where it is UNBEARABLE. The mistress has absolutely NOTHING TO DO with this.
If family relationships have burned out, the marriage turned out to be a mistake (this sometimes happens), it will fall apart regardless of whether the man has a mistress or not. If this didn't happen, no spell would do it.
2. Over time, needs INCREASE.
No matter how good it is today, tomorrow you will want more... . A man will not be able to satisfy this need. Why? Read the first law.
Now let's strike a balance.
A woman invests in a relationship:
- soul and body
— time is the most valuable and irreplaceable resource
- the future, pushing it back indefinitely
Receives:
– attention and care – a teaspoon per day/week/month (select the one you need)
- a small part of material wealth, while the husband would bring all the income to the house
- unsettled personal life
- uncertainty about the future
But these weapons must be used. Use it SKILLFULLY and CONSTANTLY. To use = to be like this. Amen:).
Thank you for your attention.
Most interesting articles Yaroslav Samoilov:
The psychology of a married man is built on his desire to get what he lacks in the family.
Usually this situation is looked at through the eyes of a woman, but in this article I want to go from the other side...
So, I’ve been married for more than ten years, I’m a normal family man, the relationship is settled, I’ve gotten used to it, everything is familiar, I’m not expecting surprises... or I’m waiting, somewhere deep down in my soul, at the level where I was even before the wedding. Lord, how long ago it was... Warm romantic evening, the rustle of a bouquet of roses, and she, flying towards and beaming with happiness. Wow, I thought I forgot. As she then said: “You are so beautiful.” And now? “Take out the trash!”, “When will you finally finish this damn renovation?!”, and the trump card “Are you a man or not?” And who do you think I am?.. Then I felt like an eagle, and now... a plucked sparrow. Then you looked at me with admiration, but now with pity. Words of love were replaced by instructions and endless claims... eh!..
But you still want to experience those same feelings of trembling excitement on the eve of a date, mental tremors, and damn it, the feeling of self-affirmation! I may have worn myself out in everyday battles, but I still have enough passion for new exploits! My wife won’t be able to show off, she knows me like crazy. Sometimes it seems that when she looks at me, instead of a man, she sees hypertension, excess weight and hemorrhoids. What kind of romance is there?..
Another thing, a new front - there I am a hero, someone’s long-awaited dream, and if I’m lucky, a sex symbol. Damn, it seems that the blood is boiling, and a familiar hot wave is awakening from within... Ha! I'm still on horseback! Here it is - an exciting anticipation of the hunt and new passion!..
Stop. What will the wife say? And where did it all go - after all, with her I experienced even more intense feelings. Who have we become?.. Where is the adrenaline, excitement, adventurism?! If I now offer her to revive her former youth, she will look at me as if I were saying hello. I’ve lived, I’m afraid to look like an idiot in the eyes of my own wife! Maybe, after all, on the side... There I will get everything I want... And then what? No matter what happens, it cannot be avoided!
Approximately this set characterizes the psychology of a married man. You might say there are a lot of thoughts. They think a lot where they communicate little. When you are in last time had a heart-to-heart conversation with your other half? Why is the frequency of the request “psychology of a married man in a relationship with a woman” steadily growing on the Internet? After all, the same betrayal can be avoided if you just talk together and find out who is missing what, and how to fill it with mutual desire and actions? It's actually not difficult. Are you afraid of revelations? And with whom else should you be sincere, if not with the person closest to you? Who do you lie to and who do you avoid? After all, you still have to walk along the field of life and walk together. In fear of losing her husband, the woman remains silent, tries to please, and cries quietly. And what? It’s like quietly taking a shovel and methodically digging a hole between you.
Which representative of the fairer sex do you think of when you read the phrase “relationship between a married man and a woman”? Who said that we are talking only about the mistress?.. These words apply equally to her and to the wife, who often forgets about her feminine nature and essence. Dear wives, I understand that children - everyone has children, that work - so where without it, everyday life and problems are stuck. What about your husbands, for whom you have less and less time and energy? So they take care of themselves. Remember, the secret of men’s psychology is that they fear boredom more than the plague! I'm not advocating entertaining them, but sometimes it doesn't hurt to introduce something new into your relationship with a married man.
Are you afraid of betrayal? Fear is a bad travel companion. I’ll tell you a secret: you can change without leaving home, in your thoughts. Make sure your husbands are distracted only by you and not by their own fantasies. How exactly? Each woman has her own recipe. Some people love to be listened to, others prefer touch, others prefer to spend more time together. Take a closer look. And don't worry about your husband. Live for your own pleasure, do what you love, promote your psychology, and his instinct of conqueror will spur him to win attention to himself. Well, if he whines that no one needs him, dinner is not ready and everyone has forgotten about him, the question involuntarily arises: “Should we be afraid that such a person will leave?” Guys, if anyone recognizes themselves, no offense. If anyone has anything to add about the reasons why we are sometimes pulled to the left, please add them in the comments to this article. Let's open the cards...;)
/for those who are interested in the psychology of a married man, I offer another interesting article “
Married man and free woman psychology of relationships – eternal theme. Many words have been said and many songs have been sung about this, but such situations are not becoming less frequent. And every woman, having fallen into this emotional trap, continues to hope that her unfree chosen one will one day divorce and lead her to the altar.
The attraction of such a relationship for the stronger sex and why they have mistresses is explained quite simply. The soul of a male asks for fresh vivid impressions, holiday, new emotions, body - thrills, diversity in the intimate sphere. His family life has long been established, the rear is covered, there is nothing to worry about, the relationship with the wife has entered a calm, even boring phase, the former sharpness is no longer there, the nights on the marital bed are not marked by special passion. For him, making new acquaintances on the side is just a game, a sport. He's not in love - he's infatuated. He believes that his mistress will come out of this game without much loss (if he even thinks about what her prospects are), that the game will always be under his control and will last as long as he wishes, until he drinks the cup of pleasure to the bottom. This is really a game of a married man and a free woman, a psychology that includes the roles of hunter and victim - only the victim believes that she is loved and will soon become happy.
There are other reasons too. For example, many family men have a desire to assert themselves in front of friends and themselves, to show others that he is able to support a luxurious young charmer - since she agreed to respond favorably to his advances, it means he is still “ogogo.” Or the desire to make the “last push” before approaching old age. Or it could simply be infidelity that has become a habit, low moral principles and consumer standards towards the wife.
It also happens, however, that the basis of a marriage is a mistake of youth - the so-called “flutter” - and therefore the wife was not initially loved enough for her husband to remain faithful to her. It’s just that the child must be raised by his own father. He does this in good faith, but... his search for his woman still continues.
It happens, although extremely rarely, something for which you can hardly blame your spouse. An unexpected meeting, an outburst of emotions, a kinship of souls... and it is no longer possible to return to your old life, because a new feeling has turned your whole life upside down and crossed out the past. In this situation, both, as a rule, do not remain lovers for long, breaking the previous marriage ties and creating anew, without lies, even at the expense of someone else’s grief.
Finally, when everything has completely fallen apart for the two spouses, and the family is preserved formally, on paper, only for the sake of the children. In such a relationship, both feel liberated and treat the new connection of their half philosophically.
Why unmarried girls meet other people's husbands - the motives here are mostly completely selfless. Most women are romantically inclined, want to have a trusting, tender relationship with their partner, and they are not stopped by the fact that he is already taken. Not everyone manages to avoid drama along this path.
Some ladies are unsure of themselves, do not consider themselves worthy of a monogamous relationship, are afraid to be alone, or are convinced that “normal men have already been snapped up,” and therefore agree to the second role.
Married man and single woman relationship psychology is often based on the involvement of young ladies looking for a “sponsor”. They usually go into this deal with a clear head, being interested not so much in their beau as in his income, and never become so attached to him as to try to take him away from the family. Some slightly older girls have a child with their rich boyfriend in order to have a constant income in the form of alimony.
Those women who do not really need a permanent relationship and family can also seek meetings with husbands other than their own. They are satisfied with occasional meetings, intense sex, an atmosphere of flirtation, an evening in a club or restaurant. In this case, the everyday side remains for the hero’s wife, the mistress gets a pleasant pastime, hassle-free comfortable communication, and she is completely satisfied with this.
But in most cases, a woman meets with a married man, having strong feelings and great hope of “victory” over her lover’s wife. And this path can take years.
A ringed lover is very gallant, successful, looks great, balanced, generous, and brings with him a festive atmosphere. He showers her with compliments, tells her that his wife is a tyrant, that she is seriously ill, that they stopped having sex a long time ago. Because the woman is in love and enchanted, she believes everything and agrees to wait. But gradually everything seeps into her soul more pain. She realizes that, in fact, she remains lonely, because her chosen one lives with someone else. The person who promised to “get a divorce” is in no hurry to fulfill the promise, despite her efforts to become the best. And, it seems, he will never fulfill it. Because husbands go not where it is good, but from where it is bad. If you think about it, since everything is so terrible in his family, there is no understanding, sex, harmony, then why does he still remain the husband of that woman?
First of all, you need to understand that the prospects of becoming his first lady are very vague. Married man and single woman psychology consisting, in most cases, of imbalance. A man is unlikely to leave a home where life is organized, where everything is in the usual places, where his children are raised. To force him to give up a measured and comfortable life can only be very strong feeling, sweeping away everything in its path. But this happens extremely rarely.
Therefore, it would be most prudent to end such relationships right “on takeoff” - unless, of course, the woman belongs to that rare type of independent nature who does not need marriage, joint evenings watching TV and other lyrics.
At some point, a mistress may become jealous of her boyfriend’s wife. This is very alarm signal, and should be taken as an SOS. That is, change the phone number, apartment or door locks, or even the job, and maybe even the city - it all depends on the depth of the immersion in the abyss of passion for someone else’s husband. If you don't escape at this stage, it will be much more difficult later.
It also happens that a man hides until the last minute that he already has a family. In those times when there was no mobile phones, bring it to clean water It was not difficult: such a suitor would never leave his home number to a new acquaintance or invite her to his place. Today, vigilant women ask neat suggestive questions, but this does not guarantee that the man will give himself away in any way.
Some women break off long-established relationships with family boyfriends, but here another trap awaits them: a man cannot allow himself to be abandoned, and will move mountains to return everything to normal.
If a woman is not ready to part with her ringed gentleman, she will have to learn several rules of secret relationships.
And in general, sometimes it’s useful to look at yourself from the outside. One way or another, any experience develops and enriches – even this one. Perhaps, in a relationship between a married man and a single woman, the psychology and solution to the problems of this relationship will be found after some time and will be non-trivial.