Ways to increase your self-esteem - How to rise in your own eyes? In the view of the ideal woman, the man is also ideal. Her passion and love for life

An approximate list of qualities that an ideal man should have was formed in the minds of girls already in their school years. Over the years and the acquisition of personal experience, this list will undergo many changes and adjustments. But all the same, it will remain a symbol of an ideal husband, who is not afraid to entrust his own life and leave, if necessary, to the ends of the world without suitcases. Each girl has her own ideas about what ideal men should be. But a few common features are inherent in, if not all, then the vast majority of these bright images from women's fantasies. And in the first place in this list is not beauty at all, since if they pay attention to the appearance of a woman, it is far from immediately. By the way, handsome guys cause fear of being "one of" and are far from in the first place, so they are bypassed.

No matter how trite it may sound, for a woman the most important thing is not the appearance of a man, but his feelings. More precisely, their presence. When a woman chooses a husband, it is very important for her that he really loves and idolizes her. It is important for a woman to feel desired, to hear sincere compliments addressed to her, to feel enthusiastic looks. By virtue of her mental make-up, a woman really lives by this. And if a man wants to understand how to become a man in the eyes of a girl, he should not restrain his feelings and emotions. For a woman, this is practically a drug, and she will strive to look perfect and behave perfectly in order to once again hear compliments from a man and a new dose of praise addressed to her. Also, even before marriage, any woman seeks to clear a place on the neck of her future soulmate.

Subconsciously, every woman will choose such a man as her companion, who will withstand her requests, support and cover in case of trouble, and in any situation will be a reliable support. And there is no need to rush to accuse women of prudence. This cannot be considered commercialism in its purest form, because every woman chooses not just a life partner, but the father of her future children. And she really needs a reliable companion who can withstand the blows of fate. If a man wants to conquer a woman, he should be prepared for the fact that he will have to carry her in his arms all his life and do it with pleasure. Public opinion also condemns single mothers who have not carefully approached the choice of their partner. So commercialism in this matter is a justified and necessary step.

The behavior of a woman who does not pay attention to the physical and mental health of her chosen one would be strange. Only very frivolous girls can choose as life partners men who abuse drugs, alcohol or gambling. Such a strange choice says a lot about the state of the girl herself - perhaps she needs the help of a doctor or just the constant friendly support of family or friends. The health of the chosen one is one of the most significant factors for the choice of the beautiful half of humanity. After all, the state of health of future children, the activity of the husband and his longevity depend on this factor. To the extent possible, it is worth regularly monitoring your internal and external health, and this should be done by both men and women.

The eternal problem is often that girls dream not only of a loving, but also of an understanding soulmate. And for men, this item is practically impossible, since very often even she herself cannot understand a woman. But finding an approach to girls for a man is quite simple. You need to take note of one simple phrase: "I understand you." Saying this phrase in difficult situations does not mean lying at all. After all, a man sees that the girl is having a hard time, and that she herself may have become confused in her feelings and sensations. Even from a simple phrase in such a situation it becomes easier. And the man who often manages to make a girl laugh can have no doubt that he is on the right track. A good sense of humor is far from the last line in the list of qualities of an ideal man. A joker will always be preferred to a bore.

One of the most sexually attractive organs of a man, many of the fair sex consider the brain. And it's not even that a woman wants to be interesting and informative with a companion, everything is much more mundane. A woman wants to be sure that her man will be able to earn bread for the family, using his head first, and not just his hands and physical strength. Intellectual work is more prestigious and better paid. Stupidity and narrow-mindedness are forgivable to women, and in order to understand how to be a man, you need to be a little smarter than the average person. The preferences of a man are also of no small importance - he is polygamous by nature or rather monogamous. Contrary to popular belief, eternal hunters do not attract women as husbands.

When a woman chooses a man for herself, she wants to climb the pedestal and remain on it as the one and only, she wants to feel like an eternal queen for her king. If a man is determined to get married, he should say goodbye to all connections from the past, no matter what form they take. You need to find a way to wean your ex (or exes) from calling in the middle of the night with drunken revelations, if you wish, this is not so difficult. And it would be completely strange to stare at the females passing by, even if their dignity will not leave anyone indifferent. And those men who say that this is impossible should try to put themselves in the place of their future wife. Most likely, the scandal would not have ended, and she would have had to look for a new husband. Having chosen the ideal, do not belatedly doubt.

Based on recent research, a list of those qualities of a real man which are most interesting to the weaker sex. We are used to believing that money rules the world, that the best press is not a press of cubes on the stomach, but a press of money in the wallet.

But the statistics say otherwise. It is a sin not to use this knowledge. The following qualities must be known and trained in order to pass for a real man in the eyes of a girl.

1. Physical strength. Do any male sport. Go to the gym or fight club regularly.
2. Develop the ability to make firm decisions. Don't be a "rag". If your weighty word is required, then it must be indisputable.
3. Train your courage muscles. Do not be afraid of anything, get involved in situations and come out a winner. Remember that the best way to overcome fear is to pretend that you are not afraid. There is no other means.
4. We have already talked about hardness. Hand in hand with her comes responsibility for her decisions. Remember, girls love responsible men.
5. A real man should be able to laugh at himself. He must also be witty in relation to the events around him.
6. Develop personal charm. It's not as difficult as it seems. In relation to a woman, it is enough to look into their eyes more often, not to look away and smile.
7. Paradoxically, despite the hatred of cheating, girls like men who are successful with women. So, how not to cross this line, decide for yourself. Learn pick-up and NLP techniques.
8. Be able to show aggression in time, raise your voice, demand. But this is only not in relation to his companion, but to everyone else (in a store, in an office, in a car service) it is possible and necessary.
9. An important quality is perseverance. This applies both to achievements and to the relationship with a woman. They often like to "break". Accept the rules of this game, but in such a way that it does not later turn into a rule for life.
10. Know how to behave in scandals. Several technicians. If you can stop the whim with one sharp word - do it. If you cannot achieve sharpness, achieve it with technical inattention to what is happening (but this is a topic for a separate discussion).
11. Develop attention to your appearance. Focus on fashion and prices. Don't seek outside advice when shopping for clothes. Remember - you are stylish (even if you don't care what you wear).
12. Make pleasant surprises more often. Know how to create a state of celebration for a woman.
13. Learn to cook. It is so close when the representative of the stronger sex also feeds with his works.
14. In difficult times, have the determination to take matters into your own hands.
15. Never get irritated in a weak field. Even if there is a reason for it.
16. Do not forget - the way to a woman's heart lies through the ability to communicate with children. It doesn’t matter if they are hers, your joint ones, or just someone else’s kid who ran up on the street.
17. Don't be insipid in bed. Treat lovemaking like a workout. Learn, experiment, improve your results.
18. Create an image of a person who never gets tired or sick.

Good luck, real men!

5 ways to increase your value in the eyes of a man.

“He doesn’t appreciate me, doesn’t respect me!”, “I do everything for him, but he doesn’t see it”, “He doesn’t hear me, he doesn’t give a damn about my desires!”

How often do we hear these phrases. From friends, from our clients, from acquaintances. We see them on forums and women's blogs.

We have already talked about the value of yourself more than once. About loving yourself. After all, your value in the eyes of others depends on whether you value yourself. I touched on this topic, for example, in the article “What does it mean to love yourself?”.

In any case, changing your attitude towards yourself, loving yourself is the first important step towards a happy relationship.

The second step is to start acting and acting in such a way that other people also change their attitude towards you.

And today I will share with you 5 ways to increase your value in the eyes of a man.

You can choose one of the methods or try to use all at once.

First way. You are a female. And you choose a worthy male!

The first way is connected with those laws that operate in nature. Remember and watch any movies about animals.

So there is a female. And when the mating season comes, the males begin to show off in front of her, fight for her. The female is waiting for the strongest and best of the males to win back his right to be with her.

The same thing happens in human relationships. Men are males who must win their right to be with you.

Therefore, there is nothing wrong with telling your man that he has competitors that you will choose.

I understand that you think that this is only possible in the initial stages of a relationship.

But look at examples of the animal kingdom. The existing couple does not live long. And then the female is looking for a new male.

If you have been in a relationship for a long time, live together, are married, you need to carefully make it clear to the man that you still reserve the right to choose! Accept gifts and flowers from other men. Accept signs of attention and courtship. He does not need to know about all the men who are courting you. But some cases can be told. Here it is necessary to observe the measure and choose the right words so that your man does not blow away with jealousy. “Yes, I accepted these flowers or this gift because I do not have enough signs of attention. I would like to receive these flowers from you, but you have not given me such a gorgeous bouquet for a long time.

The second way. Teach your man to take care of you.

If your man's mom didn't teach him to take care of women, then you need to do it yourself.

From time to time, contact a man with requests to do something that will be useful for the two of you. Take out the trash, hammer in a nail, go to the store, carry heavy bags.

But that's not all.

These actions, which I wrote about above, are needed by both of you to some extent. He takes out the garbage - but this garbage is not personally yours. You have accumulated it together. Hammering a nail and hanging a shelf is also an action that is useful for the two of you. Heavy bags hold groceries and household items that you also share.

Therefore, in the second stage of this method, you begin to ask a man to do something just for you. For example, buy you medicine. Put money on the phone. Buy you your favorite chocolate. Give some trinket just like that, for no reason.

You must understand that a man will not immediately get you stars from the sky. It's too global and cool. He may be scared. But small regular requests will teach your man to help you.

He will begin to learn to do something for you, to take into account your desires, to be interested in what you need. Thus, you teach him that you and your desires are important.

The third way. Stop putting a man at the center of your universe.

One of the most common mistakes that just kills your value in the eyes of a man is to make him the center of your universe.

How many times have I seen this error! How many times have I done it myself!

Are you familiar with the situation when a girl, having started a relationship with a man, stops doing what was important to her, stops communicating with her friends.

For some reason, we were hammered into our heads that if you have a man, then the meaning of life should come down to living the life of a man. You sit at home, cook food for him, iron and wash. You create all the conditions for him to feel good.

And, of course, you expect him to appreciate it and carry you in his arms. But for some reason he does not carry you in his arms! He does not notice your sacrifices, your efforts and efforts! Here's the bastard!

Breaking your illusions He won't appreciate it! Never!

When you sacrifice yourself for a relationship, no one will ever appreciate it. Everything that you do in a relationship, everything that you do in relation to your partner, all your sacrifices and efforts - all this you do of your own free will and without compensation. That is, a gift. And if you didn’t say in advance that, they say, “I sacrifice my friends and career for you, and now you have to come home strictly at 6 o’clock for this, spend all your free time with me and stop communicating with friends,” then don’t be surprised that he doesn't. And it is unlikely that a man will agree to such conditions, even if you voice them.

When you do something for another and do not immediately say what you expect in return, do not be surprised that a person perceives it without a sense of favor and a desire to repay good for good. In addition, usually for men, such behavior of women is a given, something taken for granted. At the same time, over time, your guardianship and excessive importunity begin to irritate them. Secretly, they dream that you will finally have your own interests and hobbies. “When will she finally do something? I'm tired of her rushing around me like smoking with an egg.

Yes, I do not argue, there are men who love it when they blow in the ass. This happens in painful relationships where partners play specific roles. But this is not the topic of our today's article.

But in general, women who score on themselves, on their desires and interests, cause irritation and pity in men. Such women cease to be interesting, like, excite the imagination and fantasy. They are always whining and suffering. And men begin to treat them with disdain.

So, we throw out a man from the center of your universe. And we put ourselves there, my love! Meet your friends. Make time for your hobbies. If you have a problem with a hobby, write yourself a list of things you've ever wanted to do. Dancing. Drawing. Soap making. Art. In general, everything that interests you. And after that, go to a few trial classes for each item on the list. You will quickly understand what you are interested in and what is not.

Even better, if you set aside 1 day a week, which you completely devote to yourself and your business. Sauna with friends Massage. Cosmetologist. Shopping. And in the evening you can go to a bar or a club with your friends. Maybe you even want to be alone on this day. Take a break from business and bustle.

There is nothing wrong with the fact that you have some kind of life of your own outside of your relationship. On the contrary, it's interesting! You will have a lot of new impressions. Yes, and rest from each other - it's good for relationships.

Friends, hobbies, hobbies, any actions for yourself help you become happy. Isn't that what every man wants - to see a happy and interesting woman next to him? And again! It is important that you do this for yourself! Not for anyone.

Men can grumble when the lady of the heart leads an active lifestyle. But, however, your active life position very much raises your rating, value in the eyes of a man. In fact, he begins to understand that you are in demand, that you are not fixated on him. And this awakens in him the interest of the hunter.

Fourth way. Put your desires above men's and know how to say no.

This method follows from the previous one.

When you start taking care of yourself more, doing what you want, you start respecting yourself and your desires.

There are situations when a couple needs to agree on something, make some kind of decision. And here it is important for you not only to find a compromise, but also to observe your interests.

For example, you decide what to watch on TV. You want to watch a comedy, and he's an action movie. And you start to actively argue. Everyone bends his own line. Usually such disputes end in quarrels and resentment against each other.

Although it is possible to resolve this conflict in another way. Offer a man such a scheme: you alternate the films you want to watch. Today, watch the one that you like, and tomorrow - the one that your man likes. And here it is just important to show perseverance and character. Do not give up when a man tries to persuade you to watch what he wants on your day.

Sometimes we just don't want to do something. We have such a mood or state. For example, a man asks you to cook food for him, but you stupidly have no desire and mood. What do women usually do? They get angry but go to cook. And who prevents you from telling a man that today you have no desire to cook? And if he wants to eat, he can cook his own dinner. And feed you at the same time.

I want - I do. I don't want to - I don't.

At the moment when you refuse another person because you really don’t want to do something, you make a choice in your favor. And this is very important! When you allow yourself to do what you want (in our case, refuse), you begin to live your life. Not someone else's, but one's own.

Another question is how your man will react to your refusal. At best, he will just go and solve this issue himself. Cook or order food. At worst, he will begin to manipulate you and make you feel guilty.

In our trainings about how we explain how to talk to men. It is very important what phrases you use when talking with your loved one. Some phrases, the ones you use all the time, don't work. And in the worst case, they lead to quarrels and insults.

We train the skill of constructing phrases in such a way that neither you nor your man feel humiliated or hurt to the quick.

One popular wisdom says that a word can kill a person. And, unfortunately, from childhood we are taught precisely to “kill” the interlocutor. Manipulate. Force. In such conditions it is unrealistic to build healthy relationships.

Because of the fear of “killing with a word,” you are afraid to refuse others. In order not to hurt or offend.

However, the ability to refuse is an important part of relationships with oneself and with others.

If you know how to refuse, put your interests and desires above others, then you treat yourself with love. Take care of yourself. And besides, you command the respect of those whom you have refused. You are being reckoned with. And even if now it sounds strange and incomprehensible to you, your value in the eyes of your partner is also growing. Check it out for yourself!

Fifth way. Inspire a man!

This is perhaps one of the most important tasks for any woman. To let a man feel like a man, to show himself as a man.

When you begin to love yourself, respect and appreciate, and allow your man to do this in relation to you, he has an additional incentive to pursue his career and development.

The help, support and care that your man gives you have a positive effect on his self-esteem and self-confidence. Of course, provided that you know how to correctly ask, accept and thank your man.

We are arranged in such a way that feedback from other people plays an important role for us in assessing the actions and deeds that we perform.

And if your man has done something for you, then, of course, he is waiting for a backlash.

Your reaction or its absence can both inspire a man and crush him. If you don’t give a man feedback, don’t thank him, don’t support him, don’t praise him, then sooner or later he will stop doing anything for you. Because your gratitude, your reaction are support and a strong incentive for him.

He did something useful for you. You thanked him and praised him. He felt needed, important and useful. And inspired at the same time. “I am a man! I can! What mountain should I conquer?

And you put before him the next goal, the next height, which he must take.

At the same time, a man should be aware of your contribution to his advancement and growth. He should perceive you as a source of his inspiration.

And then your value in his eyes will be very high!

It is unpleasant to realize when you are doing something, and no one needs it. You waste your energy, time, do not sleep at night and everything is in vain. Your superiors do not seem to notice your merits. It may seem that you are just a loser. In fact, the problem lies in the fact that you do not know how to behave correctly in order to be the best in the eyes of your superiors.

What to do so that your efforts are appreciated by the management?

1. Talk about your accomplishments.

Somewhere inside us, it is customary to believe that if you work well, then the authorities will definitely notice you and reward you at their true worth. But the reality is quite far from our conclusions. In order for the authorities to notice and appreciate you, do not hesitate to tell him about your merits. For example, tell us that thanks to your hard work, there were more sales this month than in the previous one.

1. Keep your skills high.

If you think that getting a higher education is the end point in development, you are deeply mistaken. Management values ​​professionals in their field. Therefore, constantly try to get some new knowledge. Attend trainings and seminars.

1. Positive attitude.

When you look at a person who is dissatisfied with something, you become infected with negative energy from him, and subsequently you want to communicate with him less and less. But with positive-minded people, you want to spend as much time as possible. And this leads to the formation of informal relationships that can positively affect your current situation.

1. Communicate with your superiors as equals.

Some people are afraid of superiors. If you are one of them, then try to get rid of this fear as soon as possible. In psychology, there are many ways to deal with fears, but the most effective one is to look your fear in the eye, that is, pull yourself together and start acting.

1. Stay on top of things.

Imagine that you are the head of your department. As an effective leader, you must be aware of all events, in addition, you must be able to look ahead. This will allow you to stand out from the rest of the employees, the bosses always notice such people.

1. Work in the sweat of your brow.

In fact, there is no need to work hard at work. It will be enough to create the visibility of the workflow in front of the authorities and your colleagues. But still, if you are counting on something, you will have to work.

All these recommendations will make you a better employee in the eyes of your superiors. The rest is up to your superiors. Normal leaders, when they see the zeal and professionalism of an employee, help them to climb a step higher. Executives who are only concerned with the size of their wallet will try to take credit for your merit or to protect themselves by putting you away.

However, there are some common elements.

Men want their women to look great.

A true woman should take care of her appearance. Those who, having married, believe that their goal has been achieved, and now they can relax and stop looking after themselves, are making a serious mistake. And not only at festive events, but also in everyday life. After all, the beauty of the chosen one flatters male pride and increases self-esteem.

In no case should you show your husband in curlers and with a cosmetic mask applied to your face. Even home clothes should be beautiful and neat. Comfortable trousers and a pretty blouse can become a replacement for an old robe.

Men are not able to constantly show attention

Women often complain that they do not have enough attention from their life partner. However, do not forget that a man can be very tired at work.

In such a case, instead of pestering him with conversations and reproaches, you should provide him with rest and peace.

It is important for a man to be accepted as he is.

With all the weaknesses and shortcomings. This is one of the most important qualities of an ideal woman. After all, no matter how much effort you make, it is unlikely that you will be able to remake an adult, an already established person, and the actions taken in this direction will most likely cause rejection in him.

You should not constantly criticize your man, and it is better to express the emerging claims in a soft and tactful way.

Most men need to feel needed.

Caring for someone weaker and defenseless is inherent in a man by nature itself. Therefore, the ideal woman should not. You need to allow your chosen one to look after, give flowers and gifts, carry burdens and protect your beloved from life's adversities.

At the same time, do not forget to thank the man and sincerely admire him. He himself will begin to admire a woman who appreciates him.

In the view of the ideal woman, the man is also ideal.

You should not constantly complain about your chosen one to family and friends, as well as discuss his shortcomings in the company. To criticize in public the one whom he himself chose as his life partner is generally a bad form. In addition, such actions can only bring discord in the relationship.

Whatever the idea of ​​\u200b\u200bmen about the ideal, they dream that they and, and for sincere love, can forgive their chosen one for many shortcomings.