Basic rules of modern etiquette that are worth knowing. You leave your smartphone on a table in a public place

This shows openness, cordiality, and readiness for further contact. But even when shaking hands, people who consider themselves well-mannered adhere to certain rules regarding the question of who shakes hands first when greeting. What does etiquette dictate?

Why is it customary to extend your hand when meeting?

The custom of shaking hands when meeting has come to us from ancient times. Moreover, in each period of time different meanings were attributed to this gesture. There is a hypothesis that in primitive tribes, shaking hands with men was a kind of test of strength: whoever shakes hands harder is stronger. Each meeting began with such a short duel. In some other tribes, a man’s willingness to extend his hand showed the purity of his intentions: the hand is extended, the palm is open, there is no weapon in it, which means there is no need to be afraid of this person.

In ancient Rome, people were good at cunning, and an outstretched hand did not always mean friendliness. Warriors learned to hide a small dagger in their sleeve, and with a normal handshake it could not be noticed. Therefore, the descriptions mention the custom of shaking the wrist, not the palm. At first this was done for safety reasons, then it became a tradition: when meeting, men, holding their hands at waist level, squeezed each other’s wrists.

But in Japan, samurai shook hands before a fight, and this gesture told the enemy: “Prepare to die.”

The meaning of a handshake today

In those distant times, people did not attach importance to who should give their hand first. The handshake became generally accepted and regulated by the rules of etiquette only in the 19th century. Only men could shake hands with each other; this gesture was not typical for women and was considered tactless. Later, shaking hands became popular in business circles: they sealed deals and showed a disposition for further communication. Nowadays, there is nothing wrong with shaking a lady's hand, especially if it happens in a business setting.

The custom of shaking hands when meeting is more common in Europe and America. In Asia, it is less popular: there a bow or a certain folding of hands is considered a sign of respect. But in business circles in Asian countries, a handshake is also appropriate.

when meeting

In most cases, a person cannot introduce himself: he must be introduced. A man is supposed to introduce himself to a woman. Those who are younger in age - those who are older. A person occupying a higher position in society is introduced to someone who is at a lower level. This is considered an indicator of good manners. If you need to introduce your family to colleagues or friends, then they call your spouse and children, and introduce friends or colleagues to them as a sign of respect for older age. Who shakes hands first when meeting? He is the person to whom others are introduced, regardless of gender and age.

Is it possible to introduce yourself?

Are there situations when it is appropriate for a person to introduce himself to strangers? Yes, this is possible, for example, at a business dinner, banquet, party in order to establish a relationship. In this case, it is permissible to approach the person of interest, introduce yourself, name your field of activity and company and extend a business card.

If you need to introduce yourself to a woman who is in the company of a man, you should first meet her gentleman and then only be introduced to the lady.

Getting to know each other is not just about shaking hands. A good-natured, inviting smile and a direct look into the face of the interlocutor are very important. Averting your eyes to the side during a meeting is considered bad manners.

A few “don’ts”, or How not to be considered ignorant

Yes, yes, ignorance of these seemingly trifles can make a person look ignorant in a matter of seconds. So, when meeting and at any meeting, according to generally accepted rules of politeness, you should not:

• do not shake an outstretched hand (this may be perceived as a deep insult);
• when giving your hand, keep the other in your pocket;
• hold a cigarette in your hand (it is generally undesirable to hold anything in your hands, especially when shaking hands);
• leave your hand in a glove when greeting a lady (a woman can leave a glove if it is part of the toilet; a glove, but not a mitten!);
• look around, at the floor or up, show indifference;
• when meeting a group of people, give your hand to only one of them;
• remain seated when meeting a lady or older person, especially if they are standing;
• not knowing the simple rules about who offers their hand first for a handshake.

Greetings at an unexpected meeting

Almost every hour we greet someone: neighbors, the saleswoman from whom we buy coffee every morning, colleagues, close or barely familiar people, relatives... Who is the first to offer their hand when greeting? How not to put yourself or your interlocutor in an awkward position? Let's consider several cases.

If you meet friends on the street or in a public place, you should not express your emotions too violently and attract the attention of others. Seeing a familiar person in the distance, you can limit yourself to a nod or wave of your hand. If the distance allows, a handshake and a short exchange of phrases are appropriate (you should not start a long conversation, because the person may be in a hurry). Who shakes hands first when they meet? Etiquette prescribes this initiative to someone who is older in age or occupies a more important social position.

When unexpectedly meeting a loved one, short hugs, pats, and in some countries even kisses on the cheek or the cheek-to-cheek gesture are appropriate. But if you have met a business partner, a person older than you, or a distant acquaintance, such displays of emotion can be regarded as familiarity.

Can a woman offer her hand first?

Who shakes hands first, man or woman? Only a lady can shake hands. A man is supposed to either shake the outstretched hand or bring it to his lips for a kiss. In past centuries, it was permissible to kiss the hand of only a married lady, but in modern rules of good manners there are no such restrictions.

Greeting someone you barely know

Should you greet people you barely know? Yes! Even if you don't remember the person's name or can't remember where you saw their face, it's still best to be polite and say hello. Of course, in this case it is enough to say a greeting, nod or raise your hat. Violent manifestations of joy will look unnatural and therefore completely unnecessary.

Greetings at a scheduled meeting

Let's say we are talking about meeting friends at a party, in a restaurant, at a social reception, in a theater, or any public place. This is not a random meeting on the run, and when going to an event, a person knows who he will meet there. How should one behave and who is the first to offer their hand when meeting? In this case, the one who is younger or holds a lower position is supposed to come up and say hello first. But when it comes to who is the first to offer a hand - the elder or the younger - then this initiative is shown by the one who is older.

Rules for welcoming guests

When you come to visit, you must say hello to the owner of the house and the guests present. The owner should shake hands, and when greeting others, you can limit yourself to a bow and greeting phrases. It is more appropriate for the hostess to kiss her hand.

When meeting a group of people, it is not necessary to shake hands with everyone; a general bow is sufficient. But if you shake hands with one of these people, you should shake hands with everyone else. Who shakes hands first when greeting in this case? The one who approaches the group. Before shaking hands, gloves should be removed, as should headwear.

If you have to say hello to people sitting at a table, it is considered a sign of bad manners to extend your hand across the table. It is more polite to limit yourself to a verbal greeting or a slight bow.

In a situation where there is a noticeable age difference between people greeting each other, the question often arises: who shakes hands first - the elder or the younger? The rules of etiquette state that only the eldest in age can take the initiative to shake hands. The same rule applies to people at different levels of the career ladder: the one with the higher rank extends his hand.

Rules for greetings in business

The rules of politeness in business are subject to the same principles. The person of lower rank is supposed to say hello first. If a person enters a room where a group of people is already present, then the person entering greets first - regardless of position or age.

Who is the first to offer their hand when greeting during business communication? In reverse order, according to the "top to bottom" principle. We must not forget the general rule: shaking hands with one person implies the same gesture in relation to other persons. Otherwise, you should limit yourself to polite words and a general nod of the head.

In the case when a subordinate enters the boss’s office, the latter may not interrupt his business or conversation, but according to the rules of politeness, he must greet the newcomer with words or at least a gesture. In the opposite situation, when a boss comes to a subordinate, it is necessary to interrupt the conversation or business (if any, and this will not be incorrect in relation to a third party) and pay attention to the manager.

Let's summarize what has been said

Etiquette is a delicate matter, but quite logical, because all the rules of good manners are subordinated to one thing: not to offend another person, to behave in such a way that communication is mutually pleasant. If you happen to be confused by rank and age, if you are afraid of seeming impolite or accidentally offending, you should remember one more rule: the more polite person will be the one who offers his hand first when shaking hands, who is the first to say hello, who is the first to show attention. If you are in doubt whether to say hello or not, say hello, whether to extend your hand or not, extend it. You may be known as a person who has forgotten any subtlety of etiquette, but you will show cordiality and respect.

But there is one simple diagram that helps you remember who should be the first to say hello and who should be the first to shake hands according to etiquette. We greet each other according to the principle “from least to greatest” (junior - with senior, subordinate - with boss, man - with woman). We extend our hand according to the principle “from most to least,” since a handshake is a kind of privilege, an honorary sign of attention, and this gesture is supposed to be made by a more “important” person (a senior extends his hand to a junior, a boss to a subordinate, a woman to a man).

In addition to a handshake, do not forget about kind words of welcome, inviting gestures and a friendly smile - an absolute trump card in any communication!

What are the rules of etiquette for us now? Many not only do not observe the basic rules of politeness and good manners, but also do not know them. It was the same thing before: not observing etiquette was not only uncivilized, but also dangerous, especially for men. For example, in the 19th century, at balls and salons, a girl could dance no more than two dances with one partner, and it was considered outright “redneck” if after the second dance the man did not announce his engagement. What about today?

Let's check whether you know and follow the rules of decency, which were natural and obvious just a few centuries ago.

When meeting an acquaintance, greeting is mandatory if you do not want to later make excuses for being rude. If at the same time your acquaintance is on the other side of the street, you should not shout to him at the top of your voice, wildly wave your arms, whistle and scare away passers-by.

• If you are sure that the person sees you, limit yourself to a greeting nod of the head, a slight wave of the hand or a smile.
• When a friend is closer to you, it would be appropriate to offer your hand for a greeting handshake. It is important here that according to the rules of etiquette, the woman extends her hand first, but in business relations the hand should be extended by the elder in status. If this does not happen, there is no need to force your handshake.
• And if you meet your friend in the company of a stranger, you should definitely greet both of them.

2. Sir, you weren’t standing here!

When communicating with strangers, forget forever such titles as woman, man, granny, grandpa, auntie, uncle, and especially brother and sister.

• Calling people as if everyone has a sign “M” or “F” indicating their age is not only indecent, but can also be offensive.
• If “madam” and “lady”, “comrade” and “sir” are difficult for you, start your address with a faceless and safe “sorry”.

3. Paying the bill at a restaurant

If you've ever felt awkward about paying the bill at the end of dinner, you're unfamiliar with this etiquette rule.

• When you invite a person to a cafe or restaurant with the words “I invite you,” be prepared to pay the bill yourself, even if the invitee is a man.
• And a wording such as “Maybe we’ll go to a restaurant” implies that each person pays his share of the bill, in other words, everyone pays for themselves, unless the man himself offers to pay the entire bill.

Since ancient times, etiquette rules have stated that a man should walk to the left of a woman. The fact is that several centuries ago men almost never left the house without weapons. On the man’s left side hung a saber, rapier or dagger, and so that the weapon would not touch the lady while moving, it was easier for the man to walk to her left. There is also an opinion that, being on the left, the man protected his companion’s dress from the splashes of passing carriages. Now this rule does not apply only to military personnel, who can walk to the right of the woman in order to be able to give a military honor at any time.

The rules regarding the position of a man in relation to a woman do not end there.

• For example, when going up a narrow staircase, a man should walk behind a lady, and when going down, several steps ahead, in order to protect his companion from falling if necessary.
• A man should enter the elevator first and exit after the woman.
• And, of course, the man gets out of the car first, and then helps his companion get out - a rule that everyone knows about, but its observance still causes surprise and even admiration among strangers.

But in a restaurant, a man, oddly enough, must enter first, unless there is a doorman at the door.

• Firstly, this way he protects the lady from possible collisions and warns about the threshold or steps.
• And secondly, from this gesture the head waiter makes a conclusion about who is the initiator of coming to the restaurant and, therefore, who will place the order and pay for it.
• By the way, the rule that the person who invited is the first to enter the restaurant applies even in companies of only men or only women.

We are accustomed to the fact that in a theater or cinema we should move towards our seats only facing those sitting, and this seems natural to us. However, in Europe the exact opposite rule exists. For example, when moving to your seat in some auditorium in France, you need to turn your back to the already seated spectators, otherwise you cannot avoid the stigma of a poorly brought up person.

In our society, everyone more or less understands that throwing a bag on the table is a sign of outright bad manners. However, few people know that the habit of sitting in an embrace with a bag on your lap is no less contrary to the rules of etiquette. And she doesn’t belong in the next seat either.

• The handbag has the right to lie beautifully on the table, only as a small elegant clutch.
• In other cases, the bag should be hung on the back of a chair or placed on the floor, where it will definitely not disturb anyone.

By the way, speaking about bags, it is important to emphasize that their function should not be transferred to plastic bags. They have the right to exist only on the way from the supermarket to home or in the trash can. This is even more true for paper branded bags from boutiques. There is no need to use them as a bag.

In modern conditions, modern rules, for example regarding mobile phones, are becoming increasingly relevant.

• Surely, many people guess that a phone on the table is a sign of bad taste, but, unfortunately, it is now almost impossible to go into a cafe and not see a single phone on the tables of visitors.
• Another seemingly obvious rule is that the ringtone on your phone should be more or less harmonious and not cause controversial associations. It is worth giving up, for example, national music or “funny” voice signals that may confuse others.

No, you can't be late! The opinion that a girl should be 5 minutes late is just someone’s invention, because the rules of etiquette do not approve of this. At least in our society.

• In the old days, a guest invited to the house who was 15 minutes late could dine with the servants in the kitchen and had the right to join the owners only when other (on time) guests had left.
• However, this is not the case everywhere. In Tanzania, for example, guests arriving on time are treated with disrespect. This is due to the fact that not all citizens have cars or even access to public transport, so insisting that guests show up at the appointed time is considered rude.
• Also in Mexico, if guests arrive on time, the hosts may feel insulted for being caught off guard.

Never publicly announce that you are on a diet, and the dishes offered by your hosts contradict it. The same goes for alcohol. The reasons you don't drink have nothing to do with the people you sit at the table with.

• It would be more correct not to refuse what is offered to you, but at the same time not to finish eating and drink everything to the last.
• You can limit yourself to trying the dish and sipping the wine, while praising and thanking the hosts.

Good manners are a sign of politeness, no matter what they say, writes Health Tips Portal.

Good manners are the ability to speak correctly, use correct vocabulary, control emotions, look neat and clean, and be polite.

Here are 19 etiquette rules that will help you be considered a gentleman with good manners:

1. If you are walking with someone and he greets people he knows, you should greet them too, even if you are seeing him for the first time in your life.

2. If you constantly look at your phone in the presence of another person, he may think that you are uninteresting and bored. Dedicate yourself completely to your interlocutor, and Instagram will wait.

3. It is acceptable for men to eat sushi with their hands, not chopsticks.

4. Don't invite people for a walk or to a restaurant if you're going to be texting or talking on the phone all evening.

5. Always thank people who help you to show that you appreciate their help.

6. A lady should under no circumstances allow a man to carry her purse, but a man should always take her outerwear to the wardrobe.

7. Don't waste time on the phone and answer only important calls.

8. Don't stare at people, don't laugh or raise your voice.

9. If you are driving, try not to throw water from puddles on pedestrians.

10. When making your way to your seat in a cinema, theater, etc., you should turn to face the people you are passing by.

11. If you apologize and it is accepted, never repeat the same mistake.

12. Polite men respect all women equally.

13. Keep these 9 topics to yourself: age, religion, scandal, honor, affairs, wealth, illness, gifts and family troubles.

14. If you are the only one who follows a certain fashion, others may find it ridiculous, no matter how good it looks.

15. Regardless of age, profession and status, always say hello to everyone present when you enter somewhere.

16. Maintain good posture. Slouched shoulders convey disrespect for others.

17. In a restaurant, it is the lady who decides when the evening is over.

18. Do not put your elbows on the table, do not suck up soup noisily and do not touch food with your hands (except bread).

19. Ladies should not wear makeup in the presence of strangers, especially at the table.

Follow these simple rules and our world will become a much better place. Remember that good manners never go out of style!

Men's rules of etiquette

1. On the street, a man should walk to the left of a lady. Only military personnel can walk on the right and must be ready to give a military salute.

2. It is necessary to support the woman by the elbow if she stumbles or slips. But in a normal situation, the decision to take a man’s arm or not is made by the lady.

3. In the presence of a woman, a man does not smoke without her permission.

4. At the entrance and exit to the room, the gentleman opens the door for the lady, and he himself walks behind her.

5. When going up or down the stairs, a man secures his companion by walking one or two steps behind or in front, respectively.

6. A man enters the elevator first, and at the exit from it a lady should be let in first.

7. The man gets out of the car first, he goes around the vehicle and opens the door on the passenger side, while helping the woman get out. Provided that the man is driving the car himself, he must open the door and support the woman by the elbow when she sits in the front seat. If a man and a woman are both passengers in a taxi, they are supposed to ride in the back seat. The lady is the first to settle into the salon, the man sits next to him.

8. When entering a room, a man should help a woman take off her outer clothing, and when leaving the room, he should hand her clothes.

9. It is also customary in society not to sit down if ladies are standing (this also applies to public transport).

10. According to etiquette, a man should not be late for a meeting with a lady. On the contrary, the gentleman should arrive a few minutes earlier, because his delay can confuse the lady and put her in an awkward position. In unforeseen cases, it is necessary to warn and apologize for being late.

11. Any woman of any age should be helped to carry large items and massive bags. This does not include a handbag, a light fur coat or a coat, unless she is unable to carry them herself for health reasons.

12. In society, it is unacceptable to openly talk about a lady with a third person, especially in a male company.

13. During a conversation, a man should not fold his arms across his chest or keep them in his pockets. Also, you should not twirl different objects in your hands - this is disrespect for your interlocutor.

14. Good to know: A man is always the first to enter a restaurant, the main reason is that based on this sign, the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the establishment and who will pay. If a large company arrives, the person who invited you to the restaurant enters first and pays. But if a doorman meets visitors at the entrance, the man must let the woman through first. After which the gentleman finds empty seats.

Women's rules of etiquette

1. You should not remove your hat indoors. Exceptions include cases when you are in the room for more than 10 minutes and cases of work necessity (for example, business negotiations).

2. If they offer you a hand for a handshake, you must offer yours: for a handshake, your right hand, for a kiss, your left. It is not necessary to remove the glove.

3. Never walk with your hands in your pockets, even in sportswear.

4. When getting out of the car, the man should give you his hand. But if he does not do this, it is permissible to leave without outside help.

5. At the door, the person entering lets the person leaving, and the man - the woman.

6. It is not permissible to light a cigarette yourself in the presence of a man. If a man does not react at all, you can ask for a “light”.

7. The plate with soup is not tilted in any direction: neither forward nor backward.

8. When you have finished your meal, place your knife and fork on your plate - this is a sign to the waiter that you can take it away.

9. It is not allowed to use toothpicks at the table, only in the ladies' room.

10. You must not be late for meetings, especially business ones. In extreme cases, lateness will be reported by telephone and the partner has the right to reschedule the meeting.

11. All drinks are poured by a waiter or a man, even tea.

12. The ideal distance between interlocutors in business negotiations is one meter, between a boss and a subordinate – one and a half meters.

You, of course, know that good manners are important, but you don’t have the time to attend etiquette courses. Then remember these 10 simple rules to look and act impeccably at the table.

1. Pass the dish to the right

At the table, you always pass the dish from the right or counterclockwise. This helps a lot if several dishes are placed on plates at the same time. When all dishes are passed in the same direction, there is much less chance of dropping dishes or creating clutter and confusion.

2. You need to introduce the oldest one first

The introduction should begin either with the oldest person or with the most important person, that is, first introduce your grandfather, not your younger brother, and the president of your company, not your colleague. An important point: the woman is introduced first, not the man.

3. Proper handshake

You are probably aware that a firm handshake is very important, and its duration is also important. You shake hands differently with your boss or with your friend. A handshake in a business environment is one thing, but in a social environment it is completely different. In addition, such a banal movement can tell a lot about a person.

4. Use the napkin correctly

Be sure to place a napkin on your lap. It should be folded in half, with the fold facing you. Gently blot your mouth with the fold of the napkin. After a meal, never leave a napkin on the floor or on a chair - it is placed to the left of the plate.

5. Sit opposite your partner

In the case of a group event, it is best to sit opposite your partner, and not next to him. It is much easier to talk to a person this way, rather than constantly turning your head to the side. And offering a dish to each other is also much more convenient.

6. Hold the glass by the stem

You should always hold the glass by the stem so as not to warm the drink with the heat of your hand. This applies to all types of wines, including champagne and martinis.

7. Good posture

Hunching and slouching are incredibly unhealthy from a health perspective, but it also doesn't look good at your desk. Good posture reduces the strain on the muscles in your body and helps reduce stress. Do you want to look thinner and more graceful? Sit up straight. Remember to always straighten your shoulders.

8. Going to the toilet

No, you do not need to announce at the table that you are going to the toilet. It is enough to simply apologize and leave. This rule does not always need to be followed, for example, if your mother quietly asks where you are going.

9. Do your hair in privacy.

Never wear makeup or fix your hair in public. Most etiquette experts say that this should only be done in the privacy of the bathroom (toilet), especially in public places. Again, apologize and quietly leave for a while.

10. Be polite

The most important rule is simply to be kind and respectful to everyone you sit at the same table with or meet at a party. During any conversation or dialogue, be tactful, polite and attentive, because such impressions remain for a long time.