Behind the Screen: The True Life of Arab Women.

In the east there are certain rules of conduct in family life. In every family, adherence to traditions is the basis of family relationships.

All family members have their own specific status. As a rule, after marriage, a girl moves with her dowry to her husband, to his family. She starts new life with new rules in the husband's family. Her status is very low. At first, she is a servant in her husband's house. Her husband brings her, as if to probation, to his parents' house.

The main members of the family are the husband's parents. The husband has the status of a manager. He listens to his parents in everything, provides food for the family, and fulfills marital duty. Of course, such formulations are not very pleasant to hear, but this is an outside view.

The attitude towards women is consumerist. The wife should get up earlier than everyone else in the morning, prepare breakfast, do household chores, then lunch and dinner. And in the evening you should be the last one to go to bed until everything is cleaned up.

They don't even think about helping their husband. In girls with early childhood develop respect for elders and a potential housewife. Under no circumstances does she have the right to look the older generation in the eye, and contradicting or answering back is strictly punishable.

IN family relationships in the east everything is very simple - everyone knows their place. On the one hand, it makes life easier married couple. But, on the other hand, the word equality does not fit here. IN modern families in the east a woman can go to work, but when she comes home from work, she changes into traditional clothes and fulfills his duties.

There are exception families, but they are very few. Of course, after the birth of the first child, the attitude towards the daughter-in-law softens, since she lived up to expectations. And if the first boy is born, then the relationship improves doubly. But God forbid she turns out to be infertile, this will ruin the family. Unless, of course, the husband does not stand up for his wife in front of his parents, but this happens very rarely.

Relations in the East are very peculiar with their own traditions and foundations, but for them this is a normal, ordinary way of life in which they grew up and live. East is a delicate matter!

Mesmerizing love stories oriental women deserve to appear on the pages of books. Beautiful novels with touching and treacherous destinies of the main characters will sweep you into the world of a special mentality in which the fair half of humanity cannot decide with whom to build their happiness. Here women do not marry for love, but this feeling still overtakes them each in due time. Books about oriental women and love are dedicated to the most bright stories life. Plunging into these works, you will understand how strong love can be and what people are ready for for the sake of the one they love with all their hearts.

1.
Beautiful Samia was born into an Algerian family and was raised according to strict Muslim canons. When she turned 16, she was married against her will to a rich man with fanatical views on religion. But with the birth of children, she realizes that she can no longer live like this...

2.
Another one heartbreaking story about Algerian traditions. Grown-up girl Nora lived her entire life in France in a “golden cage.” In an outwardly decent family, daughters are raised in religious fear and have no opinion of their own, forever deprived of the right to vote...

3. Stolen face: My youth was spent in Kabul - Latifa
Imagine that you are a freedom-loving girl and your face has been “stolen” forever. Latifa was brought up in war time, when the whole of Afghanistan was invaded by the Taliban, who advocate the suppression of women's personality. And then, at the age of 16, absolute hell began for the dreamy beauty...

4.
Two women's destinies intertwined into one knot of pain, despair and humiliation when war came to Afghanistan. Mariam is the illegitimate daughter of a wealthy businessman, and Leila is her half-sister, brought up in love and prosperity. But how will the sisters live now?

5.
Many girls dream of a rich sheikh and life in a luxurious palace. The American beauty was “lucky” - the heroine married a wealthy Iranian and gave birth to his child. But the fairy tale soon ended and now she can only run away from the golden paradise without looking back...

6.
Sultana is rich and beautiful princess from Saudi Arabia. She lives in luxurious surroundings, blinded by glitter precious stones. But “behind the scenes” remain the humiliation and powerless position of the daughter of an Arab sheikh. How can a girl escape from Muslim hell?

7.
Slave life is a thing of the terrible past and now Sultana is finding her own self. The girl not only learns to live again and express her opinion, but also rebels against the savage customs that force every Muslim woman to become a slave to her husband...

8.
The Sultana has been reborn from the sizzling Islamic fire and is now gathering around her a Commonwealth of oppressed and intimidated women seeking to escape from their cruel husbands. The heartbreaking story about their difficult life and fierce struggle will not leave anyone indifferent!

9.
The pious Muslim Mariam earnestly prays for the speedy return of her son from the terrible war. Afghanistan is engulfed in the brutal fire of the faithful against those people who do not want to live by their rules. But will Allah hear the sad prayer of a tormented woman?

10.
The famous Norwegian publicist Osie Seierstad wrote a poignant story about hard life Afghan women. The author shares his impressions after visiting Kabul, liberated from the heavy oppression of the Taliban and welcoming its first free spring...

11.
Deborah Rodriguez is a freedom-loving American who has successfully “extricated herself” from two failed marriages. One day, an energetic woman decides to go to Afghanistan to help “slaves” dependent on her husband’s opinion gain self-confidence. The first step is opening a beauty school.

12.
A revelation novel from the famous Arab writer about sexual sensuality Muslim women hidden under the cover of a flowing burqa evokes real shock even the most experienced readers! After all, Almonds give off a voluptuous bitterness...

13.
Many women living in a Muslim state feel oppressive loneliness and realize their sad fate of being a skilled “doll” under their despot husband. The provocative novel is riddled with bitter tears and calls for attention to a social problem.

14.
Strict parents forcibly married Leila when she turned 21. The Moroccan girl has no right to vote or her own opinion, and her whole life was built at the whim of cruel men and now nothing can be changed. Or is there still a chance for a better future?
15.
Fawad is a ten-year-old Afghan boy who survived a Taliban attack. His mother gets a job as a housekeeper for Georgia - beautiful girl from Great Britain, who began a whirlwind romance with the dangerous criminal “authority” Haji Khan.

16. Dishonored - Mukhtar Mai
Mukhtar Mai - sad famous woman, who was brutally raped by male acquaintances in front of a large crowd of people. No one came to the defense of the 30-year-old Muslim woman, so she herself decided to tell the terrible truth about her difficult fate, finding the strength to move on.

17.
The famous publicist Victor Malarek reveals the shocking truth about the girls who went abroad to work and fell straight into the “clutches” of slave traders. Now they are prostitutes or “Natashas”, as they are contemptuously called by powerful and despotic Muslims...

18.
Robert Irwin is a famous historian and traveler who wrote a sensational book in the 19th century about the terrible life of Arab girls. This is a heartfelt novel about the nightmarish existence of Muslim beauties, hidden from cruel world in an impenetrable burqa...

19. Burned Alive – Suad
How does it feel to find out that those closest to you have sentenced you to a brutal death for “disobedience”? Bestselling book details shocking fate real woman who dared in early youth go against Muslim customs and miraculously saved from being burned alive.

20.
Every year about two million young girls they mutilate to please their “overlord.” Wild standards of beauty make even the most “hard-hearted” people shudder and show the cruelty of Muslim customs, which rob women of the most important thing - health...

21. I am 10 years old and divorced - Nujood Ali
Yemeni customs allow adult men to marry little girls. At the age of 10, Nujud was forced into marriage: her husband wanted to immediately fulfill his “sacred duty,” and beat her for disobedience. But the heroine managed to escape and demand a divorce!

22.
How do the “easy young ladies” live abroad? A beautiful Russian girl is ready to satisfy her Turkish clients “to the highest standard”, and in return - pain and humiliation. The revealing book tells about non-reciprocal love, betrayal and boundless loneliness...

23.
Samia is a righteous daughter from a Muslim family. Even before birth, her parents decided everything for her, presenting her with the fact of choosing a rich spouse. Exposed to unimaginable humiliation every day, the girl shed rivers of tears, but decided to definitely get out of the endless nightmare...

24.
“I’ll be back, I’ll be back...” – This phrase is repeated like a prayer by many girls who have gone to live in a “luxurious oriental fairy tale" Russian beauty and hot Muslim man fell deeply and mutually in love with each other, but what will ultimately come out of such a contradictory union?

25.
A true story about the relationship between the rich Kemal and his distant relative Füsun will captivate any reader for a long time! Archaic Istanbul customs require complete obedience from a Muslim woman to her husband, gradually tearing off the mask of innocence...

26.
Pakistani girl with early years lived in an English orphanage, surrounded warm love and respect from other people. But she barely had to cross the threshold home- how everything changed overnight. The family decided to raise her according to cruel Muslim customs...

The information age has provided people with access to a huge amount of diverse information. But he can't do it the main task– break the stereotypes that exist in our heads. We think in a very specific way and cannot even imagine that anyone on earth could think differently. Moreover, we are trying to prove to these people (from our bell tower) that life is very bad for them, and only we live well. So, today we are debunking myths about Eastern women (using the example of the Arab Republic of Egypt).

Myth. The Soviet government removed the burqa from the women of the East and thereby made them free, allowing them to study and work

Is it true. In fact, girls and boys have equal access to education. And not only for basic school, but also university. After graduating from universities, many women work and leave work when they get married (many, but not all). However, it is not because their husbands do not allow them to work. In the system of eastern values, career does not rank first, as in the West and already in Russia. This is not a great value in itself, although many women work and even work until retirement. The question is whether a woman can combine home and work without harming herself and her family. Of course, using the example of Russian women, we see that in principle this is possible. But at what cost? At the cost of kindergartens, where children are constantly sick, and education depends on the professional level of the teachers and whether they love children. Needless to say, “teachers from God” are very rare. Women sacrifice sleep, trying to redo everything after a working day homework. A woman has practically no time to take care of herself. And the guilt complex that the mother devotes little time to the children?..

Let's omit examples when a woman works at her favorite job for the sake of self-realization. These people will never quit their job. But if a husband fully supported his wife, would she really spend 8 hours on a bus in the cold, working as a conductor? Would you become an inspector to try to fine two-meter boors? Or would you work 12 hours a day at a factory? Or would I sit at the checkout in a store, where there is a huge financial responsibility plus stress? And who would “voluntarily” work in the Housing Services? Yes, at least half of women (and something tells me that much more) would quit their monotonous, uninteresting, stressful job if they had such an opportunity. If only they knew that their husbands would feed their family and children and would not reproach them for “sitting” at home.

Myth. Eastern women would never wear closed clothes(i.e. covering not only the body, but also the arms, legs, neck), headscarf and niqab, and swimming in a burkini if ​​they were given the freedom to choose

Is it true. It is difficult for our compatriots to imagine that someone on another continent is not eager to undress, as is customary here. How is it in the West and in Russia? If you don’t undress, no one will pay attention to you, will not single you out from the crowd, will not follow you with their eyes, and especially not home. Women have long experienced pressure from society to dress as revealingly as possible. Moreover, this has been noticed even by Westerners, who rightly consider this to be pressure on women. If you want to win a man, wear a shorter skirt, stockings (so that the elastic is visible), a deeper neckline, and brighter makeup.

It’s hard to believe that we women try to catch a man only in such primitive ways, appealing to basic instincts. But our task is not to seduce and seduce the male. Our goal is to find our person in this life, a life partner, a man who will not only want us, but also love and understand us. Then why these premature undressings?

Eastern women cannot believe that the attention of men can only be attracted in this way - to remove more clothes. And one cannot but agree with them. Firstly, you can look attractive without being naked. Arab fashion is quite diverse. It contains tunics, suits, and short dresses which are worn with trousers. Secondly, a scarf can also be a decoration if it is chosen and tied accordingly (dozens of ways). True, this is not the main thing in a hijab. The scarf is one of the symbols of faith. This is similar to how Christians wear a cross. Therefore, true Muslim women do not have any complexes about wearing a headscarf. It is their expression of deep faith in God.

As for the niqab (burqa), after marriage, women (not all, they are a minority, but nevertheless) themselves want to get rid of annoying male attention (why do they need it? They are already married) and not be the subject of attacks and unnecessary attention. The best way to do this is to wear a niqab. And this is truly a conscious decision. And a decision worthy of respect. It protects a woman as much as possible from the temptations that inevitably exist in life, and reduces the likelihood of cheating to zero. This is a kind of measure to strengthen the family. What's wrong here?..

And, of course, a few words about the one-piece swimsuit for oriental women. By the way, not everyone wears it. Many people simply wear a loose-fitting T-shirt and shorts below the knee. This is what they swim in. Do you think it’s better to show off cellulite and folds on the stomach and hips on the beach, so that the husband can immediately visually compare his 35-45-year-old wife, who gave birth to two children, and the 20-year-old beauty with perfect body and skin? Isn't it humiliating for the 95% of women with figure flaws compared to the 5% who have beautiful model bodies? And then we talk about the depravity of society and infidelity, which often destroys marriages. About the fact that men leave their wives of the same age and marry younger ones...

Myth. The life of an oriental woman is not life, but existence

Is it true. Of course, every woman has her own idea of ​​Life. But can the conditions in which Russian women have to exist and look for love be called Life? Is this Life when women are forced to trick a man into marriage because he has sex but doesn’t want to get married? Or do you encourage the desire to take away from the family married man, having made him leave his wife and children, just because there are no “normal single people” left? Look at what books on the so-called female psychology become bestsellers? These are quite often guides on how to become a bitch and seduce, beat off and marry a man. Tell me, is this decent behavior for a woman to hunt suitors and try by all means to drag them into the registry office? And then everyone sighs that another handsome man has been “married” or “stuck up.” It's like he's a horse!

But not every woman wants to artificially become a bitch - angry, aggressive, persistent. This is simply not in the nature of most women. And society puts pressure on us that happiness cannot be achieved at any other cost - only if we fight for a man with our hands and claws (or rather, nails).

Myth. It is believed that an eastern woman is an enslaved slave, and we are often our own mistresses

Is it true. When a woman gets married, she in any case ceases to be her own master, because now she has a family, she has a husband with whom she takes into account. Marriage is always, to a certain extent, a loss of independence - the one that a woman had before starting a family. In the sense that she cannot make decisions herself. For example, present your husband with a fait accompli and fly to Greece on vacation. Go and spend your salary on clothes and cosmetics if you family council I am planning to buy a new refrigerator. At a minimum, the husband will not understand this. But, most likely, he will conclude that no one takes him into account, and will think - why does he need such a wife? And here it doesn’t matter at all whether the man is Muslim or not. Since the two became a family, they consider each other's opinions and make decisions together. There is no way you can be your own boss.

Myth. For an Eastern woman, a husband is not a beloved or a friend, but a master and “maintainer.”

Is it true. Women in the East also choose life partners based on love. They have no right to marry a woman without her consent - the mullah simply will not marry such a couple. As for maintenance, one can only dream of this - for a man to consider it his duty to fully support his family and wife. Modern Western and Russian men do not have such a powerful incentive as that obliging a husband to support his wife. That's why our compatriots try less. Not all, of course. But, as we know, in our latitudes, every year the tendency to marry for convenience, to a decent-earning woman and move into an apartment already purchased by the bride, is growing stronger. Men are no longer embarrassed to live at the expense of women. They feel great while their beloved works hard at 2-3 jobs and at the same time carries the burden of household chores.

So should we feel sorry for Eastern women? Should we consider them slaves, eager to tear off their hijabs and heal? free life"? And can the way we live be called freedom? The question is controversial...

Jewels, silks, palaces - this is exactly how many people imagine the life of women in the East. But is this “golden fairy tale” really attractive?

They are deficient in vitamin D

In most Muslim countries, women are required to wear headscarves and abayas, loose clothing that covers the body from head to toe. According to German dermatologist Yael Adler, due to the fact that only the face and hands remain uncovered, girls live their whole lives in sunny and warm countries, experience a huge lack of vitamin D, which can lead to serious illnesses bones.

Women who are forced to wear the burqa for religious reasons experience a huge lack of vitamin D and suffer from severe osteoporosis, even in countries where there are deserts and the equatorial sun shines.

Many things require permission from your father, husband or older brother

To go to school, work, travel, or do anything else with their lives, women in conservative Muslim countries must ask permission from their father, older brother, or husband. This practice is not enshrined in law, but is widely used in Everyday life not only in the East, but even in religious Muslim families who live in Europe.

The “limits of what is permitted” for Eastern women may be different. In Saudi Arabia, a woman cannot obtain a driver's license, and she is allowed to work only in a few areas: medicine, education, and, since 2000, finance. Most professions are considered “undesirable”. In Iran, many public places remain segregated by gender: for example, in public transport there are separate seats for women and men. In addition, women are prohibited from attending sports matches.

As for Afghanistan, after the overthrow of the Taliban, women's rights expanded, but, unfortunately, many are respected only on paper. “Yes, now on the streets of Kabul and several other large cities it has become more women than under the Taliban, more girls goes to school. But as with previous reform attempts, progress for women is limited to residents of the capital and a handful of other urban areas. Basic prohibitions and regulations of the Taliban (Islamist movement) against women are still the law in large areas of this largely illiterate country - a law upheld by a conservative tradition,” notes journalist Jenny Nordberg in her book Underground Girls of Kabul.

A woman often finds herself a prisoner in her own home

In the book “Burn Alive. Victim of the Law of Men,” an Arab girl (the book says she comes from “the West Bank”) under the pseudonym Suad talks about the atrocities she had to face in own home. The only way for a girl to “escape” from a family where she was considered absolutely powerless was marriage. However, due to the impossibility of getting married earlier older sister and an extramarital affair with a man, Suad almost became a victim of “murder in the name of family honor”: a relative of the girl tried to burn her alive.

From the time I can remember, I had no games or pleasures. To be born a girl in our village is a curse. The dream of freedom is associated with marriage. Leave your father's house for your husband's house and never return there again, even if your husband beats you. If married woman returning to his father's house is a shame. She should not seek protection anywhere except her husband's house, otherwise it is the duty of her family to return her to her husband's house.

Suad "Burn Alive"

And she is sometimes forced to put up with her husband’s polygamy

In many Muslim countries - for example, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, the UAE - polygamy is still allowed, and a man can take as many women as his wife as he pleases. In Jordan, you cannot marry more than four girls; in Iran, in order to remarry, you must obtain consent from the first wife.

Women have severely limited rights

A Muslim woman's right to divorce is, as a rule, limited: even if her husband cannot provide for her (and this is one of the few reasons considered sufficient in the Arab world for a woman to be able to legally to leave her husband), she must first turn to a guardian - a father or older brother - who will deal with family troubles. But a man, in order to separate from his wife, according to the Koran, only needs to pronounce the word “talaq” three times, which means “divorce.” And after three months, which are allotted to the man to confirm his decision, or, conversely, to cancel it, divorce proceedings may be completed.

Muslim women feel uncomfortable wearing the niqab

Remember how in the movie "Sex in big city 2" Carrie Bradshaw watched with interest as the girl in the niqab kept lifting the fabric to eat French fries?

For Eastern women who wear a niqab, which covers their face almost completely, every meal in public place becomes a real challenge. It is worth saying that the tradition of completely covering the face is not mandatory, but still remains common in Arab countries.

They swim in clothes even in 40-degree heat

For a Muslim woman living in a conservative country, showing even a small part of her body to strangers is unacceptable. So even on the beach women dress in best case scenario in a burkini, and in the worst case, they don’t swim at all, even in 40-degree heat. And although the burkini complies with all Sharia laws, some believe that women should only swim surrounded by family, in other words, in their own pool or on a secluded beach. Supporters of this point of view believe that after bathing, the contours of the girl’s body become visible to others, which is undesirable.

First of all, it should be noted that life and society in eastern countries are very diverse. Ideal image and women in Muslim countries, Japan, China, India are different. However, they also have common features, since even the most modernized societies partially retain their traditional elements.

An Eastern woman is usually perceived by a European as a wife, a guardian family hearth. Indeed, even in highly developed Japan, women try to focus on family and leave work after marriage. However, the situation is gradually changing. Women begin to build a career and become more and more independent from men. Developing female education. Even ultra-conservative Saudi Arabia has universities. Women are increasingly playing a prominent role in politics. The whole world knows the names of Indira Gandhi and Benazir Bhutto, who headed the governments of India and Pakistan, respectively.

A woman needs to spend less time in her family, because the family itself is changing. There are fewer and fewer children per woman - for example, in Muslim Iran the birth rate has become lower than in Catholic Ireland.

One of the images of family and women in the East and West is associated with polygamy. However, it is not widespread even in those countries where it is legalized. And this is due, among other things, to the fact that the majority of modern Muslim women, like those living in Europe, are not ready to share their spouse with other women. This violates the image of the submissive Eastern wife that exists in the West. In fact, this humility is not explained by any national characteristics, but by the economic dependence of women and religious upbringing. When both become a thing of the past, the relationship between the sexes also changes.

An example of the changing role of women can be seen in modern Japanese society. Quite free behavior of a man in betrayal for a long time were considered, if not the norm, then something inevitable and acceptable. But today's young Japanese women perceive the situation differently and are ready to part with unfaithful husbands more often than their mothers.

In general, the difference between cultures is modern societies turns out to be surmountable. This is proven by numerous emigrants who, if desired, adapt to countries with cultures and customs different from those to which they are accustomed in their homeland. And for women, due to their flexible psyche, such adaptation may be even easier. This debunks another European stereotype, which says that it is the women of the East who are particularly conservatistic.