Family or career: the choice of a modern woman. What is more important: family or career?

• Official statistics
• Where does the wind blow from?
• Questionable arguments for choosing a career
• Why can't a compromise be found?

Career or family, this is the choice a modern woman faces. Sometimes it becomes the cause of mental anguish, and a mistake brings dissatisfaction and hopelessness in the future. Why did women face this tough choice and why is it impossible to combine joy? family life with career growth and what is more important? The pros and cons between work and relationships need to be carefully considered.

Official statistics

Today it is fashionable to study and present all phenomena and even situations in the light of dry statistical data. Scientists conducted a survey among girls, women of different age categories and asked them a simple question: “Do you choose career or family?” Almost 60% of respondents answered that they do not see themselves as housewives and mothers. Does this mean that 60 out of 100 women have lost their natural maternal instinct? Has the human code failed or has civilization entered a new round of development, or, more precisely, degradation? Family, how has a social institution lost its relevance?

Fortunately, nature and instincts are not so easy to overcome, otherwise humanity would definitely come to an end, since more than half of the girls do not want to procreate. In fact, the whole problem is in the stereotypes that are formed today fashion magazines, cinema, television and the same scientists. It is safe to say that the majority of women who, according to the survey, do not want to start a family, will subsequently experience the happiness of motherhood and become excellent wives. And when weighing all the arguments for and against, the instinctive desire to start a family will win.

Where does the wind blow from?

So, why are they trying to convince a modern woman that family is not the main thing, but career is more important? The answer is very simple - with the aim of controlling the birth rate, or, more precisely, reducing it. This strategy was chosen by European countries that seek to create parity between the remaining resources necessary to ensure people’s livelihoods and the number of people themselves. The result was a policy based on the following postulates:

• a woman must be absolutely independent (work provides such independence);
• a woman should not yield to a man in anything (career is no exception);
• a woman does not owe anything to anyone and decides for herself when and what to do (this concerns the issue of creating a family).

You might be interested in: What programs exist to support small businesses in %am_current_year%?

There is nothing wrong with these postulates, because smart, independent, independent woman is extremely admirable. But not all representatives of the fair half of humanity are able to adequately perceive and apply the above arguments in real life. This is due to the peculiarity of the psycho-emotional organization; a woman or girl is more guided by emotions and tends to make momentary, impulsive decisions, which leads to behavioral distortions in the question of what to give preference to family or career. Therefore, the statistics are not reassuring.

Such feminism, which is fashionable today, for most girls turns into a tragedy in their personal lives. After all, a woman is, first of all, a mother and guardian hearth and home. Fashion trends The balance of natural forces is disrupted by work and career coming to the fore, successfully bypassing relationships, family and love.

By the way, topical issue on the topic will be - how to make a man work and earn money. We strongly recommend that you read our tips.

Questionable arguments for choosing a career

Today, a business image is being formed in the media space strict woman who is completely immersed in work and doesn’t need anything else. She earns a lot and can afford everything, she knows what to choose, what is more important for a brilliant future.

Reality:

In fact, she is mortally tired and for the third year now she has not been able to go on vacation, but in the evenings she cries quietly, cannot sleep for a long time and begins to regret that there are no children nearby and loving husband. At the same time, I’m mortally tired of work, but I need to continue on my chosen path, because my career is more important than my family.

Everyone respects and admires the purposeful businesswoman; she enjoys the trust of her superiors and is respected by her colleagues.

Reality:

Her colleagues despise her and consider her a bitch and a careerist. The bosses use her worse than the slaves on the plantation, loading her with more and more work, and she is afraid to object and lose her place, because she has nothing else in life. Career is the only and all-consuming goal in life.

She retired early and years of tedious work provided her with a comfortable old age. You can devote the rest of your life to yourself. Successful career gave her freedom, prosperity, peace.

Reality:

She understands that no one needs her, her children will not come to her, she will never be able to babysit her grandchildren and spoil them. She increasingly asks the question: “Why did she need a career then, in her youth? What did she see in life besides work? Why doesn't money bring joy? Arguments against family now seem evil.

You might be interested in: How to get a loan to start a business

On the one hand, very tempting prospects, on the other – frightening emptiness and hopelessness in the future. A woman is a mother and homemaker, which evokes respect and reverence. The stereotypes and values ​​implanted today are contrary to nature, are artificial and make girls victims of fashion, and nothing more.

Attention! At the same time, it is difficult to find research data that says that 70% of average men feel sorry for businesswomen, and they would never start a family with them. Thus, a conflict of the sexes is created, a single whole is broken, balance is upset, the family is presented as a burden and a relic of the dark past of humanity. As you can see, there are many more disadvantages when choosing a career for a woman than advantages.

Why can't a compromise be found?

There is an opinion that career and family are modern world the girl will not be able to combine. We need to figure out why this happens, because progressive labor laws protect women's rights and oblige the employer to protect the girl who went on maternity leave workplace. In addition, she is entitled cash payments. The reality is that all privileges remain on paper.

The employer is trying in every way to protect himself from “fussing” with girls who want to start a family and spend various tests on professional suitability and are looking for loopholes in the law so as not to keep the girl’s job and reduce payments. But, in fact, the right to be a mother is legally protected and it is necessary to ensure that your rights are respected.

Modern women suffer from “split personality”. One person is drawn to love and creating a family, while the other, like a tank, rushes towards a career. And now comes the moment of choice: one of the “personalities” must be removed.

You are at the crossroads of two roads: you will take one, but it will be too late to turn to the second. Let's figure out together what is more important to you: family or career, setting priorities. Let’s also think about whether there is a third way.

Ideas about one of the roads: career or family

In our society we are used to harshly exaggerating, condemning or praising everything. And this is what it roughly looks like:

A woman left her career and chose family

She will definitely get into it:

Stops developing. All her knowledge will be focused on the quality of cleaning powders, floor cleaning products and culinary recipes.

Gives birth to a bunch of children. She will communicate with exactly the same assholes like her, and all conversations will be focused on diapers, baby food and the amount of benefits.

No entertainment. Only trips to the shops and the playground. And if you’re lucky that the children all fell asleep at once, you can surf the Internet.

All day long such a woman will cook, clean, fuss with the children and wait for her husband to come home from work. And he will come, devour, regurgitate dinner and go to bed. What is happiness, sister?

The woman did not start a family for the sake of a career

It will become stale and dry. Numbers instead of heart, money instead of soul. Nothing humane.

People will hate her. Some will be jealous of her financial status, while others will be enraged by her character. Especially subordinates.

There will be nothing feminine about her. Men will avoid such a lady and be afraid. And an unloved woman without sex is always a bitch.

And so she will come to her empty apartment, drink tea alone at night and only relax in bed and sob into her pillow. What is happiness, sister?

How to dispel these stereotypes

Everyone chooses for themselves. In choosing between love and career, it is difficult to force an adult and reasonable person. U free woman She also has her own choice, and she makes it in favor of personal preferences (if wisely):

• gives birth as much as she wants;
• has fun as she pleases;
• chooses a profession to his liking;

This is where her happiness lies. But when the whining starts: “I’m tired, I’m tired of the children’s noise, my husband doesn’t help with anything!”, or this: “I’m tired, I have no personal life, work is hell, men don’t love me!” - this is already shocking. I would like to ask:

Who forced you to break yourself in the first place? Your choice was made at a conscious age. The children, of course, are out of the question, but it would be worth thinking about contraception. But it would not be worth breaking yourself under the pressure of a career, for the sake of no one knows. It’s also good to be subordinate, but free.

Reasonable women, when making a choice, do not “print” children like crazy, and do not blow their minds at work. Moderation in choice is the main thing. Both the careerist and the housewife need at least some kind of freedom, as well as time for entertainment and personal life. It is precisely because of the “fanatics” that such stereotypes arise.

What are your inclinations: family life or career?

Let’s conduct a kind of test with you, and you will “get to know” yourself by checking the boxes on the statement that is close to you:

When family is closer to you:

1. I grew up in affection, kindness and prosperity.
2. I have younger brother(sister) whom I adore.
3. My father is the best in the world.
4. I have an easy-going, compassionate and calm character.
5. I have always been touched by children, even strangers, I understand their feelings.
6. I am calm about noise, I can fall asleep with it.
7. I need comfort around me.
8. I am diligent and love handicrafts.
9. I like to spend holidays at home.
10. I have no big company, but only a few girlfriends.
11. I need a man - his support and affection.
12. The main thing is wealth in the family, not easy money.
13. I'm afraid of absolute silence and darkness alone.
14. I love cooking complex dishes and always improve them.
15. I am a kinesthetic person, I love to feel everything soft and tender.
16. I am not selfish and would rather give than take.

When your career is closer:

1. Childhood was difficult, but the family did not give up.
2. It's hard to name the father good dad or it wasn't there at all.
3. I studied with pleasure, science was easy for me.
4. I get tired of other people's children, I rather tolerate them than be touched by them.
5. It's not difficult for me to just be friends with men.
6. I can resolve any issue with higher authorities.
7. I like being an authoritarian businesswoman.
8. My wardrobe contains more formal suits than evening dresses.
9. I prefer sport style rather than romantic.
10. I love cleanliness, but I hate doing it.
11. Sometimes men with their “cockroaches in their heads” infuriate me.
12. I am interested in delving into everything new in my profession.
13. I can lead a large team.
14. I don't communicate very closely with my family.
15. Money can buy everything - even health and love.
16. I am infuriated by the “laying women” sitting with their brood within four walls.

Now count which test you have the most ticks on. If the number is equal, then you are seriously tossing between love and career, and you cannot decide which path to take. But if some test “outweighs” and is littered with ticks, then there is no comment.

Don't listen to anyone - listen to your heart

Among the older generation, especially among the relatives of a young girl, there is often active propaganda for giving up a career in favor of the family. This is clear even from the toasts at the wedding: “More children! Be a wonderful housewife! You can understand them - grandmothers want grandchildren, and in their understanding the family should be like the old fashioned way: the wife smells of pies, and the husband smells of money.

But why were all these races needed then: study, baby, rely only on yourself, get an education! I sat, crammed, unlearned, and what was it all for? To smell like pies? After all, if you now settle for a long time at the bottom of your apartment with pregnancy and childbirth, and not even just one, then all this science will disappear from your head! And there will be no experience!

Therefore, if you no longer need advice, think about what will suit your heart:

But is it always necessary to be so principled in your life: “either - or”. Is it really impossible to find and choose golden mean? Of course, it is possible and even necessary!

How to find a middle ground between love or career

While you are still young, it is better to start at least some kind of relationship with men, and not just sink your teeth into textbooks. But everything must be done measuredly so as not to miss a single chance for happiness either in your personal life or career.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes in your personal life and don’t rush down the aisle. Live with your chosen one for at least some time civil marriage to be sure that this is your person who understands you.

Even if you're married, don't rush to have children. Once you've graduated, gain experience. But if you already become pregnant, try to at least improve your qualifications in absentia. Courses, master classes and self-education can help you.

Even one child in a family is already full-fledged family when you raise him with your husband. And don’t listen to these jokes: “If you have a nanny, you also need a doll!” This is all nonsense - love for children is measured not in their number, but in how desirable they are.

Thanks to the golden mean, you don’t have to be torn between two roads. Instead, you will walk between them, along the smooth path you have trodden. This is happiness, sister!

Since ancient times, it was believed that a woman is the keeper of the hearth, whose job is to wash, clean, cook and raise children, and everything that is washed, what to clean and what to cook with is the man’s concern. But times are changing and today being a businesswoman is much more interesting for many women. And so the question arises: is career or family more important for a woman? Everyone sets their own priorities when making choices.

Career ladder

A modern woman wants to have financial independence from men. Work for a woman is not only a means of earning money, but also increasing self-esteem, confidence and self-realization. Often about own business or moving up the career ladder, the fair sex is conceived even before starting a family. In this case, it may turn out that there is simply no free time to create a family and its further development. Many people say that family is a woman’s main career, but for some, family is work.

Advantages and disadvantages when choosing a career

Advantages:

• The opportunity to devote your life to what you like;
• Financial independence;
• Authority and respect of colleagues;
• Broadening your horizons and self-realization;
• A more interesting, rich life.

Flaws:

• Combining career and family, a woman cannot fully give love, affection and tenderness to her children;
• Chronic lack of free time;
• Conflicts in the family;
• Stress and overwork of the body, which leads to sleep disturbances and irritability;
• Great competition and male chauvinism;
• Loss of old social circle (and lack of time to find new ones).

Family hearth

A housewife woman devotes all her strength to her family: she takes care of her children and husband, and furnishes the house. This option is ideal for almost every man: the house is always clean, there is always a waiting room after work. delicious dinner, children do not decompose in front of the TV, receiving proper education. In the first couple of days, the woman is also incredibly happy about this coincidence of circumstances, because she spends the whole day with those who love her and whom she loves. Why does the question arise that work is more important or family? Being at home all day doesn't give women enough opportunities to develop personal qualities and skills that professional activity can provide. This can lead to depression, an inferiority complex and questions about “what have I achieved?” Even if you have a job, talk about career growth can't go. After all, you need to come home on time, cook dinner, prepare clothes for the children for school, and so on. IN overall choice family also has its pros and cons.

Advantages and disadvantages

Advantages:

• Ability to keep the house in order and be close to children;
• Take care of yourself and your health;
• Meet with friends periodically;
• go to various events with kids.

Flaws:

• Financial dependence;
• Caring for home and loved ones becomes a responsibility;
• Monotonous life “according to schedule”;
• Lack of husband and his help.

For Wonder Women

Sometimes it happens that working is not a woman’s simple desire, but a need due to lack of funds. Not every man can feed the whole family on his own, and then a discussion about what is more important, what is better and more correct does not even arise in the minds of the spouses. Then the couple should adhere to some simple rules.

1. The first thing to do is to distribute household responsibilities between husband and wife. This will help reduce the burden on a woman and allow her to successfully climb the career ladder.
2. Don’t abuse your work: you can’t achieve all the heights, you can’t earn all the money. But household chores and loved ones may well suffer from overwork.
3. Separate work and home. If at work you are a stern boss, then at home you should transform into the most gentle and loving parent, which the child so needs.
4. Do not discuss work issues at home; rather, talk about your impressions of the day and plans for the future. This will not only bring you closer to your family, but will also allow you to relieve the stress accumulated during the day in an attempt to find a way out in a particular project.
5. Don't forget that your husband also needs care and attention. Therefore, whenever possible, try to compensate for all overtime work.
6. In life, you should not forget about the most important, golden rule: a career should be built through professionalism and unique skills, and not by increasing working hours.

I would like to add some more advice from psychologist Elena Tararina. “A woman who started a family and gave birth to children, but realized that she lacks such an option as a career and self-realization, must honestly tell herself that this is a huge piece of nerves, strength and internal discipline,” notes the psychologist. She says that you should not believe in the stereotype that a woman is not capable of being a wonderful wife and mother and at the same time having a successful career.

This article only talked about some of the nuances of choice in this matter, and you must decide for yourself what is best for you and your family.

IN hoary antiquity the woman had a simple and understandable goal - family, husband and child. Today, the second half of humanity is not inclined to limit its destiny to the narrow biological role of procreation. After all, this is what sets man apart from the animal world, that in addition to instincts, he also has reason and self-awareness. So the woman faces the question of what career is more important or family.

Naturally, when the survival of the clan was associated with the strict implementation of gender roles, the customs and traditions of the tribe assigned the woman the role of mother-guardian of the family hearth, and left the man with the duty of obtaining food for the family.

European civilization has long gotten rid of the need to adhere to the rules developed by their ancestors, and ladies have discovered a huge field of activity for self-realization.

Wives and girlfriends rushed into a world previously owned by men, who were surprised to find that those who had been assigned a place in the kitchen ended up at their posts.

Everything at once: how to combine career and family

The modern average citizen of planet Earth lives in an era of consumption. This applies not only to objects of the material world, but also to behavioral reactions. At the same time, the pace of life has increased.

A child is hard work and a lot of wasted time until he reaches puberty. Why lose best years to vegetate as a mother and housewife, when the world provides a lot of opportunities to have a great time and you can choose a career? But it's not that simple.

A survey was conducted among working German women under the age of 30, and the results amazed the researchers. It turns out that among 1000 career-making ladies surveyed, for 90% own child priority task! But at the same time, they want to maintain independence from their husband in the family and not live on government handouts.

None of the girls want to solve the dilemma of family or career. Western women get married after reaching a certain level of material wealth.

Career won't keep you warm at night, family is more important

Every year, Hollywood films about women who successfully combine their personal lives and work appear on television screens. The main character is a woman who has enough time for everything: for children, for her husband, for managing a company and for the small delights of life. However, how does a fairy tale fit into reality? In reality, it all depends on the career that the woman has chosen for herself.

For example, if your friend wants to join the board of directors of Gazprom without being close to the world of oil tycoons, then her whole life will be spent achieving her goal without the right to a family and children. Oksana came to Moscow from the outback to make a dizzying career.

Looking with wide eyes at life in the capital, the woman promised herself to achieve a place in the sun. After 18 years, the woman rose from an ordinary clerk to a regional sales manager.

She has everything that young girls dream of: an apartment in the center, a luxury car, clothes from the best world brands and impeccable appearance, cherished in expensive spa salons. There is only one person who would love her - her husband and children. Although no, there is a medal-winning Pekingese dog named Lucy.

Oksana is the first at work in the morning and the last to leave. She has no days off, and overtime has long been the norm. Personal life is limited to occasional sex without commitment. Her career absorbed the young woman, becoming her raison d'être. Instead of a family, the woman decided to choose a career.

Popularity played a cruel joke on Marilyn Monroe. The woman wanted to become famous and achieved worldwide recognition. But did this bring her happiness? “A career is a wonderful thing. But will she warm you up? cold night? - said the untimely deceased star of millions. Of course, there are people who sacrifice their entire lives on the altar of their career. But there are not many of them. Although we admire them, we do not always want to follow their path. It makes much more sense to have a family and a career.

Until the age of 30, Natalya was spinning like a squirrel in a wheel: she worked at a company and at the same time received a second higher education. When she turned 30, she started thinking about the future. She had good prospects for growth ahead, but a child and a family remained an unattainable dream.

Family is more important, the girl decided and asked to be demoted so that she, like other people, could leave work at 5 o’clock and have days off. The management was amazed. They tried to prove to her that her career was more important and promised to double her salary, but she refused.

Now Natalya wonderful husband And adorable baby. Stay for overtime? No, family is more important.

Working women get married and have children without the world turning upside down. Sometimes it seems that career is more important than personal happiness. Then weigh all the pros and cons so as not to end up with nothing later.

The average family is when both parents work. This is fine. They come home and leave their job responsibilities beyond the threshold, because family is more important than career. Women get married, become mothers and loved ones. They perform their traditional family roles, and the child sees it. The secret is to keep career and home separate.

When you come to your family, forget about business, career, relax and unwind. Find time to fully communicate with your family. Let it be drinking tea together in the kitchen or watching TV when the whole family has gathered. If you are a businesswoman, take time to spend a weekend or vacation with your family. The child needs the attention of the mother, especially if she is rarely at home. Create a schedule and avoid overwork.

Fatigue tends to accumulate gradually, especially when a woman works every day and overtime. As a consequence comes breakdown and from this, first of all, the family suffers. Despite the abundance of work problems, show your feelings with your family: kiss, hug, listen to what your child tells you.

Choice: career or family?

In principle, the question of choosing a career or a family does not exist at all. A person should live a fulfilling life without distortions. The modern woman is neither an overworked housewife nor a workhorse of the global economic space.

She harmoniously developed personality, who realized herself at home and at work. She does not forget about personal time and does not think that career is more important than family. U real woman has everything: career, family happiness and a child.