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Abstract: Early marriages for or against. Early marriages and other problems of Russian girls
Introduction
Relevance of the topic
Until recently, Russia was dominated by many generations patriarchal family with traditional moral principles. Currently in our country the number of marriages is only slightly lower than the number of divorces. The reasons are seen in the destruction of the family as a unit of society. Family is still one of the basic social institutions, retains its significance, remaining the most important basis of society. Harmonious, wealthy family- this is the necessary environment where a person feels the uniqueness of his existence, this is the basis for the development of a physically and mentally healthy child. After all, the most important thing that makes people happy is the love and health of loved ones and the well-being of children.
However, in the practice of public relations in modern Russia There is a deep crisis in the institution of family. The most important condition successful development Russian society what remains is the formation and preservation of the priority of moral, family values, A a necessary condition changes demographic situation in Russia there is a revival of spirituality, including, and above all, in family and marriage relationships.
According to statistics from the specialized department of the registry office for registering marriages over the past five years, it shows that the number of marriages with minors is stable - about 27,000 couples marry annually (using the example of the Republic of Tatarstan), of which early marriages account for an average of 15%.
Vsevolod Chaplin, deputy chairman of the Department for External Church Relations of the Moscow Patriarchate, expressed doubt that early marriages should be encouraged, because “often people, even more mature age, spiritually and morally are not very ready to bear responsibility for their family. And at 14 years old they are not at all adapted to this.”
Well, if we look at it from the point of view of the fact that both people love each other and want to be together, then why not tie the knot?! It is impossible to say with certainty that this particular family will fall apart, that these particular young ladies will fall into that percentage of family breakdowns. And you can’t tell your heart to stop loving either. It is not given to us to know everything in the world and predict what will happen next. And it's always worth trying!
The family today is the intersection point of all social phenomena occurring in our society, its unique portrait, a reflection of the processes occurring in it, the symbiosis of the influences of all factors. In Russia for last years The indicator characterizing the ratio of the number of registered marriages and their dissolution has sharply increased. If in 1990 there were 43 divorces per 100 marriages, then in 2005 their number increased to 63.5. According to statistics, almost 13–15% of the total number of marriages are early. An early marriage is considered to be one entered into before the onset of marriageable age(in Russia 18 years old) with special permission from administrative authorities. It is interesting that often marriages concluded at 18–20 years old are also considered early... So, perhaps, it is from a psychological point of view, and not a legal one, that you should not be tied to a specific age in this matter. Early marriages are very controversial issue. The causes and consequences of such marriages are being investigated by psychologists and sociologists. “Early marriages are like winter tomatoes - you want to try them, but the taste leaves much to be desired...”
We can conclude that young people are in no hurry to get married before reaching adulthood, but main reason getting married at this age means expecting a child. Nowadays, many young people get married after receiving vocational education, and after getting married, they are in no hurry to have children, preferring to pursue a career in order to ensure material well-being for the family and the unborn child.
A young family has a number of characteristics. They are associated with an objectively insufficient level of material and financial security. Today, the average per capita income of a young family is 1.5 times lower than average level Nationally, 69% percent of them live below the poverty line.
Sociological studies show that early marriage is an important factor influencing satisfaction with family relationships. When studying successful and unsuccessful marriages, it turned out that in the group successful families only 43% got married before the age of 21, and 69% were unsuccessful. A successful marriage involves high level social and psychological maturity of people, since it requires stable attitudes, certain knowledge and skills, which are sometimes lacking in adolescence. Young people often get married thoughtlessly. They are being pushed to take this step different reasons. Statistics show that early marriages in most cases have no future - 90% of them end in divorce.
And one of the problems of early marriages is precisely that their main reason is the desire to escape from their parents! In those families where parents drill their grown-up children, keep an eye on them, do not respect their dignity, and if the child simply has nowhere to “lay his head,” there is no understanding, no sense of home—from such families, teenagers run anywhere. And often the easiest way out seems to be early marriage (and due to our traditions, girls often do this, because as a rule, the wife goes to live with her husband, but if a boy can go to live with his wife’s family, then he can marry in order to escape from his parents diktat)… Or even grown-up children are running away from the frankly difficult climate in the family, from constant parental strife or from the eternal war between mom and dad.
By the way, another problem of early marriage is the so-called family game: precisely because there is no place to learn their own family life, children enter into such a marriage as if as a joke. Moreover, they strive to do this as early as possible - they say, so that if something happens, they have time to “start over” with another partner, when they learn.
Today, every third marriage in the world is destroyed, and this trend continues to grow continuously. According to marriage and family experts, psychologists and sexologists, the problem of marriage destruction is largely due to the fact that a significant proportion of them are concluded too early. Often, along with a lack of maturity, when a boy or girl is not psychologically ready for the trials that will fall on their shoulders in family life, they also lack sexual experience“communications” with various partners. As a result, they go on adventures to make up for lost time...
Despite the relevance of the problem of early marriages, nevertheless, modern stage age model Marriage in Russia is changing. In Russia as a whole, the problem of early marriage cannot be resolved only at the legislative level, since it is based on economic, social and other contradictions that require resolution. While experts, parents, and public figures are discussing the problems of sex education for the younger generation, a trend is developing in the country towards an increase in the number of marriages between teenagers.
This problem is also considered in the religious world: the representative of the Moscow Patriarchate Nikolai Balashov says: “marrying in early age should remain rather an exception. This should not become a routine procedure to avoid this type of abuse.” The priest also noted that allowing the state to allow early marriage could lead to “legalized sexual exploitation of teenagers by people of a more mature age. The age of the other party is important because it is common for people to take advantage of their experience to make another person dependent, so legislators need to be careful.” Considering that “in ordinary cases it is too early to get married at 14 years old,” Nikolai Balashov, at the same time, welcomed the permission to register marriages of 14-year-olds. In this regard, he said that in his pastoral practice he had seen more than once how very young girls were put under extreme pressure by teachers and parents, forcing them to have an abortion. “This is, of course, a sin in moral terms, which at the same time causes great damage to health,” the priest said, recalling that abortions in general and, especially early ones, increase the likelihood women's diseases three times. "Let's hope that new law will save the life of the conceived fetus and provide an opportunity early children to be born in a family environment, so that they have both a mother and a father,” said a representative of the Russian Orthodox Church.
Degree of scientific development of the problem
Despite the relevance of the problem of early marriage, nevertheless, at the present stage, the age model of marriage in Russia is changing. In Russia as a whole, the problem of early marriage cannot be resolved only at the legislative level, since it is based on economic, social and other contradictions that require resolution. In turn, the State Duma allowed marriage for persons aged 14 to 16 years, i.e. under marriageable age, taking into account the interests of these persons and taking into account the opinion of their parents.
Purpose of the study
Purpose this study is to identify the population’s attitudes towards early marriages.
Object of study. Understanding of the problem of Early Marriage by various segments of the population.
Subject of study . Attitudes to early marriages of various segments of the population.
Research objectives.
grade marital relations;the degree of readiness for marriage among young people; . consequences of early marriages; the reason for the breakdown of early marriage. Research hypothesis
Early marriages are approved in youth environment , but the adult population has a negative attitude towards them. Cameron Diaz I wasn’t in a hurry to get married until I was 42, Britney Spears
By the age of 23, she managed to say the cherished “yes” twice, and her younger sister Jamie Lynn walked down the aisle at 16, earlier than most people finish school. However, even such haste is not impressive when you remember the age at which people got married in the past - in past centuries, the marriage of 12-14 year old girls was considered common. IN modern world A marriage entered into before adulthood is considered early - in Russia and most European countries it is 18 years old, in some states of the USA and Malaysia - 21 years old, and, for example, in Cuba and Egypt - 16. In the everyday sense, “early” is often called a union, frivolously imprisoned by young people who do not have both an independent material base and life experience
. Of course, it is difficult to say for sure which marriages are more reliable and correct - early ones or between adults; the number of divorces is significant in both cases.
Perfect option
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– so that before the wedding, the newlyweds more or less imagine both the pros and cons of their choice. In the question “early marriages: pros and cons,” the arguments may be as follows: Wedding Of course, marriage is about being together in sorrow and in joy, in wealth and in poverty, in sorrow and in health... But many, especially young girls they think little about responsibility in the role of wife and mother, about mandatory compromises, about possible difficulties cohabitation – in a word, about the everyday life of marriage. For many, marriage is, first of all, an opportunity to be a princess and the center of everyone's attention. big holiday . Therefore, it’s a joy to try on fairy dress when you are still young and beautiful, get a souvenir beautiful pictures and remembering yourself as a queen is, jokes aside, really a big plus, which an “adult” marriage can be deprived of - for example, like many mere mortals, Brad Pitt
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And the only reason for marriage. Then an unpleasant but common embarrassment may occur - when the newlyweds decide to divorce a year later, and the loan taken to pay lush celebrations, not even half closed yet. Therefore, if there is even the slightest doubt, then it is better to use a trick - to play, for example, a make-believe wedding, as many domestic stars do, happily posting on Instagram reports from island weddings, which, alas, are not considered legal on Russian territory.
Children
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An important reason why many people get married is children. Despite the fact that the age of pregnancy is growing all the time, and not only Hollywood stars become mothers after 40, many doctors still believe that the likelihood of giving birth healthy child higher while parents are young. And physically, it is often easier for a woman under 30 to cope with pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and sleepless nights. Another important advantage of having children at a young age is the opportunity to be a young mother of adult children and speak the same language with them.
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Firstly, in youth, children are often unplanned - lovers get married because the girl is pregnant, and then it turns out that one or both parents are not at all ready for changes. Secondly, you want to have fun or, for example, build a career, but a child (or children, if a second one is born after the first) does not provide such an opportunity. This is how irritation, dissatisfaction, and self-doubt can accumulate, which do not benefit not only the woman herself, but also her children.
Emotional intimacy
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By the age of 23, she managed to say the cherished “yes” twice, and her at a young age the severity of emotions is often higher than in adults. There are still no disappointments, no resentments, no experience that everything ends; the faith in love and the desire to see a soul mate in a loved one are still strong, without whom life is impossible and incomplete. And if people were lucky enough to actually have a wedding for love, to meet loved one and go through it together family crises and life's trials, then over the years the intimacy between spouses will become incredibly strong and real.
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In youth, the severity of emotions often replaces their depth. People love not so much a partner as the possibility of romantic experiences and bright emotions. A common mistake is that people consider false similarity and the feeling of “one whole” to be love. When the novelty wears off and people start to see real partner, and not the imaginary image with which they were in love, a period of claims begins - “you are not like that,” “he has changed,” “I married someone else.” And the ability to see in a person himself, and not his own imagination, comes only with experience; in youth he simply has nowhere to come from.
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Now, thank God, the times have passed when sex was possible only in marriage, but still the opportunity to indulge in love regularly and “legally” is still at the top of the arguments for a quick marriage. Youth is a time of experiments and discoveries, when hormones work conscientiously, and desire does not yet depend on rush jobs at work, housing issues, children’s homework or health problems. In addition, marriage often protects against unnecessary connections, especially if sex in marriage suits both parties.
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Many experts insist that a woman truly begins to feel her body after 25-27 years, and the peak of sexuality occurs at 35-45 years. Adult woman It’s easier to have fun, be relaxed, and be able to think about yourself and your partner at the same time. And no one has canceled the banal curiosity - many cheat on their other halves after many years of marriage, primarily because they wonder: how is it in general, with someone else?
Finance and career
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When, instead of parties and cheerful frivolity, you have to think about how to support your family, many quickly come to their senses and grow up - they begin to think in serious categories, earn good money and provide for themselves. There is also an interesting argument for early marriage - employers often favor married people, considering them more serious and responsible. And there, higher positions are just around the corner.
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In a bad situation, marriage and the birth of children can set you back very far in your career plan - while others are getting an education, learning languages, making a career and simply being in the thick of life, a woman either does not have time to get a specialty at all or loses her skills. If before the wedding, budget issues were discussed through rose-colored glasses, then very unpleasant things can emerge: when there is less money than expected or not at all, someone spends more and not in the way the other wants, and so on. Problems can also arise if one of the spouses goes downhill sharply - everyone knows how sadly many marriages of rich people end.
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In youth, you generally want a lot - it seems that your whole life is ahead of you, you need to have time to get married, have children, and make a career. And even if you don’t yet have the skill to separate your desires from those that are imposed, there is enough energy for everything. In addition, many young girls think that there is no life outside marriage, and getting married is the most important thing. If it is not possible to complete the program to the maximum, and shedding tears is not interesting, then women begin to live their own lives - earn money, make a career, travel, learn a language, dance, cook - whatever. In this case, the necessity of marriage (at least from the “it should be so” series) is often questioned.
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The main argument against early marriage is that young girls rarely understand what a family is and what it is for them. They want to get rid of their parents' guardianship, show off in a dress, play adult life– and add to the sad divorce statistics. But, on the other hand, no one knows how to live correctly: you can make a balanced and reasonable decision and fail, or you can become happy despite the arguments of skeptics. Therefore - advice and advice!
What are the pros and cons of early marriage? What are the reasons and what are the consequences of such marriages? The brilliant Shakespeare married Juliet when she was not fourteen years old. And how did it all end?
The tragedy was written, of course, not about the dangers of early marriages, but it makes you think about it too.
Youthful maximalism, overly ardent feelings and vows of love until the grave, absolute inexperience in everyday life... And, as a result, “love has passed, the tomatoes have wilted” after five to ten years.
But there is nowhere to go, because children. Is it possible to become happy if you get married early, or will this idea inevitably lead to divorce?
1) Young people have enviable health and have not had time to develop chronic diseases. This means they have a greater chance of having a healthy baby.
2) With age, it is more difficult to change your character. No matter how you look at it, you’ll have to get used to it. And what younger husband and wife, the greater the chance that they will be able to adapt to each other.
3) Girls have the opportunity to quickly “shoot off”: give birth to a baby, and then return to study and career, being family man, full of strength and enthusiasm.
Usually, when a career is at its peak, much less desire give up everything and start a family. And combining business and raising a child is even more difficult. 
4) Becoming a young mother is practical and from a psychological point of view: over the years you will be closer to your child, you will be able to understand him better, and speak on the same wavelength.
5) This good chance for young people to become independent, learn to take care of each other, run a household and earn money.
1) The young family is financially unstable. When both are schoolchildren or students, there is no talk of their own apartment or work. For the time being, children sit on their parents' necks, and then problems begin.
2) A woman becomes a mother and is forced to quit her studies. A man, in order to provide for his family, also leaves university and goes to work that does not require high qualifications.
After a while, they freeze at this level of development. Over the years, it becomes more difficult to return to school and get a decent education.
3) Divorce statistics are not in favor of early weddings. Chances are good that people didn't right choice, didn’t get enough of it, changed their characters, mistook simple passion for love, and over the years realized the mistake. The result is a huge number of single mothers and children who grew up without a father.
Why do people get married early?
What kind of marriage is considered early? Officially, one who is imprisoned under 18 years of age. You will be surprised, but every third girl on our planet first became a wife at the age of a teenager. And at least 30% of them are under 15 years old.
However, not from a legal, but from a psychological point of view, today the wedding of a twenty-year-old guy and a nineteen-year-old girl is also considered early. Statistics show the fragility of such unions, but where does this problem “get legs” from?
Nowadays in Europe, getting married at 30 is not only not shameful, but also common. Previously, a 19-year-old girl was considered “old” if she did not have time to visit the marriage bed.
It seems as if Russia is going its own way, not looking at the West, and its residents are still afraid of remaining as girls after 25 years.
Why rush to bind yourself tightly with chains? After all family life imposes a lot of restrictions. Some strive to break away from parental care, fly out of the boring nest and become more independent.
Frequent guests of early ties are teenagers from problem families, where parents argue, drink or fight. I want to run away from such a nightmare, but the question is: what luggage will the newly-made husband take with him? Will he copy his parents' experience?
Let's not forget about the age-old reason to get married - if you've had enough fun with your child. This holy reason bound Hymen with ties for more than one generation.
Some people simply don’t want to study and work and dream of being a housewife. At 15, marriage seems magical: at first beautiful wedding, a sea of flowers and compliments, fluffy dress and camera flashes.
Then - life in your own apartment without supervision, parties with friends, complete freedom. The husband provides, and you can do what you want - eat chips and watch TV series! Not life, but a dream. 
Others (usually guys) enter into marriage in order to simply gain access to the body. IN adolescence strong curiosity about sex life. And the idea that you can always be with your wife is very tempting.
But as soon as the interest is satisfied, the person realizes that he does not want to kiss only one girl all his life. After all, he simply didn’t have enough time.
But we must not forget about the main thing. In the end, early marriage can be concluded according to sincere love, and the young will cope with all the problems that come their way.
There are people in my circle who have known each other since they were 14 years old. Now they are about forty, and their feelings have not faded at all. Another thing is that before they got married, they “walked hand in hand” for more than ten years.
Before you run to the registry office at fifteen, think about the reasons that guide you. After all, today no one is rushing you, and love, if it exists, will not disappear anywhere!
The concept of early marriage is very vague. For example, the official language of jurisprudence considers a marriage entered into by young people before reaching a certain age established by law to be early. However, people are sure that the family created at the age of 18-20 is the earliest one. And psychologists say that marriages are not tied to the age factor, since there is a certain category of people who, even at 40 years old, do not realize the consequences of their actions and are not ready to answer for them.
What motivates young people who decide to enter into official relationships? After all, sometimes 13-14-year-old teenagers submit documents to the registry office without waiting for the age of majority.
Reasons for early marriages
As a rule, such an act becomes not entirely acceptable for parents. pleasant surprise, and they want to know the reasons that prompted their child to take on such a huge responsibility at a time when he is not yet psychologically ready for such a serious step. Experts believe that couples are ready to get married early:
- Between which there is strong love and the desire to be with a partner 24 hours a day. The guys are not ready to perceive reality, so they at this stage they are not concerned about issues of unsettled life or lack of funds.
- Those wishing to legitimize their sex life because they live in families where intimate relationships are still a taboo topic, and parents remain extremely strict regarding education. The guy and the girl decide to satisfy their natural curiosity in marriage and formalize their relationship in a legislative manner.
- Expecting a child. Pregnancy is the most common reason for early marriage, and a man does not always agree to this step voluntarily. Most often, the girl’s parents force him to do so, threatening to go to the police.
- Those who want to get rid of excessive parental controls and guardianship. And also vice versa, because at home young people are faced with domestic violence and ignoring.
- Those who do it to spite their own ex-lover to finally part with the past and psychologically accept a new relationship.
Pros and cons of early marriage
Most often, early marriages break up after a couple of years. Often young people live like cats and dogs, but do not get divorced for fear of disappointing their parents again. And there are couples who have completely free relationships. But among the huge number failed marriages you can also find those that continue happily. Moreover, young people eventually get on their feet, have children and spend their whole lives together.
Such statistics do not allow us to say that early marriages have only disadvantages; there are also advantages that cannot be kept silent about. So let's take a look first negative aspects early family creation, which include:
- Changes caused by the birth of a child, when you have to forget about yourself and your desires. Teenagers are rarely ready to change their lives in this way, so sooner or later the couple begins to quarrel, conflict, hidden and obvious grievances appear, leading to divorce.
- Lack of understanding of the complexities that marriage poses. It's about about routine, difficulties with everyday life, the need to provide money for the family and take care of children, the desire to go out and have fun instead of going home and taking care of responsibilities.
- Incompatibility of sexual desires. Young wives do not experience the same desire as their husbands, so a conflict of interest arises when girls want romance, tender words and walks under the moon, and vice versa for their husbands. In addition, the young wife, due to inexperience, simply cannot satisfy the interests of her chosen one, so in 99% of 100% the man cheats on his significant other. But the worst thing is that after such a marriage, the woman loses faith in the opposite sex, and the husband begins to consider betrayal as a normal phenomenon.
But still, early marriages are not without advantages, among which the following can be noted:
- Stormy feelings force young people to forgive each other, not notice shortcomings and learn to show tenderness and care, suppressing their own selfishness.
- A wedding at a young age brings a girl so much happiness that she won’t have at any other age. She feels like a queen, and this feeling helps fight youthful complexes.
- At a young age, a sense of maximalism makes it easier to endure difficulties, lack of money, and stress.
- A young family can get rid of parental supervision much faster and begin to plan their lives independently, without reporting to anyone.
- The couple matures faster psychologically, becomes independent and responsible, not only for themselves, but also for their significant other, and even more so for the child.
- Young people build the financial foundation of their marriage together, so the question of someone getting married for money does not cloud their future together.
- At a young age, there are no habits that have been established over the years, so the grinding process goes faster, as well as adaptation to each other. In adulthood, it is much more difficult to rebuild, both physically and psychologically.
- It is easier for young people to form their own family traditions and customs. Those who are older, as a rule, try to accustom their significant other to the principles that were accepted in their families.
- Look for a job young man is easier for someone who is married than for someone who is not Serious relationships, because employers consider him more responsible and serious. But with girls it's the other way around. A young wife cannot devote herself to work the way an unmarried employee can. In addition, there is a risk that she will go on maternity leave, so recruiters in 8 cases out of 10 refuse such applicants.
- The health of young people is much better than that of 30-35 year olds getting married. That is why it is easier for them to endure all the hardships of life, including sleepless nights with a baby in their arms.
Statistics of early marriages and divorces in Russia
Large quantity Russian girls, according to statistical data, relationships are legalized at the age of 18-24 years, and boys - at 25-34 years old. As for early official relationships, 5-6 years ago their number exceeded 1.215 million marriages. Moreover, there were significantly more underage wives in couples than husbands: 1698 girls and 1131 boys, respectively.
Over the past 2-3 years, these numbers have changed, and early marriages have decreased significantly. Nevertheless this question remains problematic both for Russia and for the whole world, because out of 6.7 marriages, 5 end in a breakdown, despite the fact that many couples already have small children.
The earliest marriages in the world
There is no state in the world where official age girls, allowing her to marry would exceed the age at which a man can marry. This is why there are countries where young people can join official marriage at 9-18 years old. Certainly, legislative norms may provide for any exceptions, but there are states in which it is not the law that is strong, but national traditions. Therefore, they easily learned to bypass official norms.
12-year-old girls can become wives in Paraguay, Spain, Ecuador and Canada. In some selected states North America To get married, a girl must be 13 years old, and at 14 years old, citizens of Colombia, Argentina, Peru and Italy can marry. But it should be noted that in developed countries, young ladies rarely use this right, wanting to study and develop in their careers.
But this is not the limit! The situation is much more serious in the countries of the Islamic world. For example, in almost all settlements of Afghanistan and Nepal, only early marriages are concluded, and at the age of 14-15, boys and girls can officially seal their union.
But in India there are villages where the youngest brides were only 10 years old, but since the law does not allow such marriages to be officially concluded, weddings are held at night, in secret from representatives of the city administration and the police.
What is early marriage? This is an entry into officially registered marital relations at an age close to adulthood. Statistics only confirm that such unions of two people are a priori doomed to failure. Why is this happening? The answer lies in the reasons why young boys and girls put the coveted stamp in their passport.
- Love. This is the very first and main factor that pushes young people to get married. At 16-20 years old hormonal background a person is not completely stable, it causes a storm of emotions when there cannot be any, and turns off the ability to sober reflection. Naturally, light love is perceived as the love of a lifetime, feelings are torn to pieces, and the frantic desire to feel your soul mate every second is realized in the wedding ceremony. The holidays will pass, everyday life will come. The two young people realize that this is all just a misunderstanding. And it’s good if pregnancy doesn’t happen by this time.
- Pregnancy. No matter how much young people are told from all sides about the invaluable benefits of protection during sexual intercourse, cases of “stays” do occur. Some girls decide to terminate their pregnancy and continue to live, having gained a huge amount of knowledge. For some, such events are contraindicated medical indications or moral principles. The result is a forced marriage, strained relationships and the birth of a child in a family where the parents are still children themselves. The spouses will, of course, love their child, but that’s not a fact.
- Release from parental control. All over the world, marriage is considered a responsible and serious act. Many young people consider him in a great way get rid of total control moms and dads. It seems that if you started a family, then you no longer need to take care of them. In reality, the picture is often bleak: you ran away from your parents, but you don’t know what to do next, because you need to support your family and build relationships. And if children appear...
- Marriage as a means of manipulating someone. Revenge on an ex, marriage out of spite, and so on - all this leads to the same result. The need for manipulation disappears over time, but remains quite a real man, who has no guilt, with whom it turns out that it would also be necessary to reckon with justice.
Should early marriages be condemned? Probably not. Provided that young children do not suffer. And such a “trial” marriage can bring enormous benefits and experience.
