Early marriages and other problems of Russian girls. Early marriages: pros and cons or what to do if he is the one

24.08.2019

Introduction

Relevance of the topic

Until recently, Russia was dominated by many generations patriarchal family with traditional moral principles. Currently in our country the number of marriages is only slightly lower than the number of divorces. The reasons are seen in the destruction of the family as a unit of society. Family is still one of the basic social institutions, retains its significance, remaining the most important basis of society. Harmonious, wealthy family- this is the necessary environment where a person feels the uniqueness of his existence, this is the basis for the development of a physically and mentally healthy child. After all, the most important thing that makes people happy is the love and health of loved ones and the well-being of children.

However, in the practice of public relations in modern Russia There is a deep crisis in the institution of family. The most important condition successful development Russian society what remains is the formation and preservation of the priority of moral, family values, A a necessary condition changes demographic situation in Russia there is a revival of spirituality, including, and above all, in family and marriage relationships.

According to statistics from the specialized department of the registry office for registering marriages over the past five years, it shows that the number of marriages with minors is stable - about 27,000 couples marry annually (using the example of the Republic of Tatarstan), of which early marriages account for an average of 15%.

Vsevolod Chaplin, deputy chairman of the Department for External Church Relations of the Moscow Patriarchate, expressed doubt that early marriages should be encouraged, because “often people, even more mature age, spiritually and morally are not very ready to bear responsibility for their family. And at 14 years old they are not at all adapted to this.”

Well, if we look at it from the point of view of the fact that both people love each other and want to be together, then why not tie the knot?! It is impossible to say with certainty that this particular family will fall apart, that these particular young ladies will fall into that percentage of family breakdowns. And you can’t tell your heart to stop loving either. It is not given to us to know everything in the world and predict what will happen next. And it's always worth trying!

The family today is the intersection point of all social phenomena occurring in our society, its unique portrait, a reflection of the processes occurring in it, the symbiosis of the influences of all factors. In Russia for last years The indicator characterizing the ratio of the number of registered marriages and their dissolution has sharply increased. If in 1990 there were 43 divorces per 100 marriages, then in 2005 their number increased to 63.5. According to statistics, almost 13–15% of the total number of marriages are early. An early marriage is considered to be a marriage entered into before the age of marriage (18 years in Russia) with special permission from administrative bodies. It is interesting that often marriages concluded at 18–20 years old are also considered early... So, perhaps, it is from a psychological point of view, and not a legal one, that you should not be tied to a specific age in this matter. Early marriages are very controversial issue. The causes and consequences of such marriages are being investigated by psychologists and sociologists. “Early marriages are like winter tomatoes - you want to try them, but the taste leaves much to be desired...”

We can conclude that young people are in no hurry to get married before reaching adulthood, but main reason getting married at this age means expecting a child. Nowadays, many young people get married after receiving vocational education, and after getting married, they are in no hurry to have children, preferring to pursue a career in order to ensure material well-being for the family and the unborn child.

A young family has a number of characteristics. They are associated with an objectively insufficient level of material and financial security. Today, the average per capita income of a young family is 1.5 times lower than average level Nationally, 69% percent of them live below the poverty line.

Sociological studies show that early marriage is an important factor influencing satisfaction with family relationships. When studying successful and unsuccessful marriages, it turned out that in the group successful families only 43% got married before the age of 21, and 69% were unsuccessful. A successful marriage involves high level social and psychological maturity of people, since it requires stable attitudes, certain knowledge and skills, which are sometimes lacking in adolescence. Young people often get married thoughtlessly. They are being pushed to take this step different reasons. Statistics show that early marriages in most cases have no future - 90% of them end in divorce.

And one of the problems of early marriages is precisely that their main reason is the desire to escape from their parents! In those families where parents drill their grown-up children, keep an eye on them, do not respect their dignity, and if the child simply has nowhere to “lay his head,” there is no understanding, no sense of home—from such families, teenagers run anywhere. And often the easiest way out seems to be early marriage (and due to our traditions, girls often do this, because as a rule, the wife goes to live with her husband, but if a boy can go to live with his wife’s family, then he can marry in order to escape from his parents diktat)… Or even grown-up children are running away from the frankly difficult climate in the family, from constant parental strife or from the eternal war between mom and dad.

By the way, another problem of early marriage is precisely the so-called game of family: precisely because there is no place to learn how to family life, children enter into such a marriage as if as a joke. Moreover, they strive to do this as early as possible - they say, so that if something happens, they have time to “start over” with another partner, when they learn.

Today, every third marriage in the world is destroyed, and this trend continues to grow continuously. According to marriage and family experts, psychologists and sexologists, the problem of marriage destruction is largely due to the fact that a significant proportion of them are concluded too early. Often, along with a lack of maturity, when a boy or girl is not psychologically ready for the trials that will fall on their shoulders in family life, they also lack sexual experience“communications” with various partners. As a result, they go on adventures to make up for lost time...

Despite the relevance of the problem of early marriages, nevertheless, modern stage age model Marriage in Russia is changing. In Russia as a whole, the problem of early marriage cannot be resolved only at the legislative level, since it is based on economic, social and other contradictions that require resolution. While experts, parents, and public figures are discussing the problems of sex education for the younger generation, a trend is developing in the country towards an increase in the number of marriages between teenagers.

This problem is also considered in the religious world: the representative of the Moscow Patriarchate Nikolai Balashov says: “marrying in early age should remain rather an exception. This should not become a routine procedure to avoid this type of abuse.” The priest also noted that allowing the state to allow early marriage could lead to “legalized sexual exploitation of teenagers by people of a more mature age. The age of the other party is important because it is common for people to take advantage of their experience to make another person dependent, so legislators need to be careful.” Considering that “in ordinary cases it is too early to get married at 14 years old,” Nikolai Balashov, at the same time, welcomed the permission to register marriages of 14-year-olds. In this regard, he said that in his pastoral practice he had seen more than once how very young girls were put under extreme pressure by teachers and parents, forcing them to have an abortion. “This is, of course, a sin in moral terms, which at the same time causes great damage to health,” the priest said, recalling that abortions in general and, especially early ones, increase the likelihood women's diseases three times. "Let's hope that new law will save the life of the conceived fetus and provide an opportunity early children to be born in a family environment, so that they have both a mother and a father,” said a representative of the Russian Orthodox Church.

Degree of scientific development of the problem

Despite the relevance of the problem of early marriage, nevertheless, at the present stage, the age model of marriage in Russia is changing. In Russia as a whole, the problem of early marriage cannot be resolved only at the legislative level, since it is based on economic, social and other contradictions that require resolution. In turn, the State Duma allowed marriage for persons aged 14 to 16 years, i.e. under marriageable age, taking into account the interests of these persons and taking into account the opinion of their parents.

Purpose of the study

Purpose this study is to identify the population’s attitudes towards early marriages.

Object of study. Understanding of the problem of Early Marriage by various segments of the population.

Subject of study . Attitudes to early marriages of various segments of the population.

Research objectives.

grade marital relations;

the degree of readiness for marriage among young people; . consequences of early marriages; the reason for the breakdown of early marriage. Research hypothesis

Early marriages are approved in

youth environment , but the adult population has a negative attitude towards them. Which marriages are considered early? This concept is very changeable over time. In the old days, when a girl was married off at 16-17 years old, this was considered normal. And some nations even now marry off their daughters at 14-15 years old, and among them this is considered normal. Early Muslim marriages are common. In modern civilized countries, before the age of thirty, or even thirty-five, it is considered normal for a woman not to tie the knot. Analyzing the age of newlyweds in different countries

and societies, we can conclude that the more developed the society, the higher the level intellectual development and the more prosperous a person feels in this society, the later young people tend to tie the knot.

Russian legislation allows people to get married after reaching the age of 18. IN exceptional cases and with the consent of parents or legal representatives, and under 18 years of age. For the most part, early marriages are concluded primarily for forced reasons rather than out of sincere desire. As a rule, the need for early marriage of children becomes.

a complete surprise

for parents, and I must say not for myself

pleasant surprise

And this understanding becomes the decisive reason for divorce, even despite the presence of children. The earliest

All over the world, women and men have the right to marry at the same age. From this point of view, in every country there is equality between men and women.

There are countries where marriage is allowed from the age of 9 years!

These are those states where the focus is not on legislation, but on...

Paraguay, Spain, Canada and Ecuador allow girls to marry from the age of 12.

Some US states give young misses this right from the age of 13. And in some Indian settlements the age of the most young brides reaches 10 years. Of course, such marriages are prohibited by law, but the norms of traditions and customs in this country are very strong and such marriages, as a rule, take place at night and in secret from the authorities.

Listen to your parents, because they won’t give you bad advice! And this is the main and most succinct advice, which, as a rule, few flighty young people listen to.

In the period 2001 to 2005, this figure was approximately 3,000 marriages for men and 25,000 for women. For the period 2006-2010, 40% less. Early marriages are considered problematic and, according to statistics, five out of seven early marriages end up breaking up.

Early marriages in Rus'

In pre-Petrine times, people entered into marriage only at the will of their parents. The daughter-in-law in the groom's family was considered from the point of view of additional labor, so only boys, aged 11-15 years, got married.

By decree of Peter I, marriage issues were settled, and marriageable age for men began at the age of 18, and for women at the age of 16. The need to obtain parental consent on both sides remains.

The first “Code of Laws on Civil Status Acts”, adopted after the 1917 revolution, did not make any changes.

The minimum age for marriage was equalized for both men and women up to 18 years only after 1925. The same age is the minimum now, but in some cases, with the consent of the parents, earlier marriage is possible.

Early marriages have existed at all times, and they still happen today. Both supporters and opponents of such relations have arguments in their favor. Of course, every life story is special and it is impossible to say unambiguously whether early marriage is good or bad; it turns out differently. And yet, why do young people rush to enter into marriages? What are possible consequences early marriages?

Why are they in a hurry to get married?

First you need to define the concept of “early marriage”. Today, early marriages are considered to be those that take place immediately after reaching the age of majority, namely at 18-20 years old. However, there is also psychological aspect this definition, according to which early marriage is a union of people who are not yet ready for cohabitation and are unable to support themselves financially.

Probably, the most common reason for early marriage is a strong feeling of love. In youth, in general, all feelings are more vivid than in older age. It seems that it is impossible to live without a loved one, and you want to quickly reunite with him for the rest of your life.

Children who are brought up in families where there are strict morals often strive for marriage as a way to legitimize their sexual relations. Essentially, in this way young people want to satisfy banal curiosity without being judged.

Another one common reason marriages between very young people - early pregnancy. Boys and girls can be careless in matters of contraception, so they often encounter such a consequence of seemingly completely harmless relationships. Some in this situation prefer to get rid of pregnancy, while others decide to get married.

Sometimes marriage becomes a way of taking revenge on a former lover or lover - “I’ll marry to spite my ex.” Of course, this is completely childish, but we are talking about people who were recently children. Unhappy love often pushes a boy or girl into the arms of another person, and the desire to prove something to an ex often becomes the reason for marriage.

We should not forget about such a reason for early marriages as the desire to leave the family. Moreover, this is not necessarily dysfunctional family, for example, if the parents are alcoholics. They often want to free themselves from parental care as quickly as possible if this care is too intrusive, with many conditions and restrictions. Suffering from excessive parental controls, a boy or girl is trying to escape from him and sees no other way than to get married.

Most early marriages still break up, but there are happy ones among them, and it cannot be said that early marriages have no advantages at all.

Pros of early marriage

At the beginning of a relationship, every couple has to get used to each other. We all have a little different upbringings, family traditions, your habits. At a young age, such grinding is easier, and also nervous system not yet loosened. It is much easier for a young body to endure stress and deal with difficulties, including family ones. In addition, many personal habits have not yet been established, so boys and girls are more flexible in relationships and it is easier for them to readjust psychologically. By getting in touch and adapting to each other, young people form new family with its own traditions.

Another advantage of early marriages is good health spouses, and this is an important factor for conceiving and bearing a healthy child. As a rule, the risk of developing many chronic diseases increases with age. Therefore, young parents are more likely to give birth healthy baby, and pregnancy is usually easier for a 20-year-old mother than for a 35-year-old. It is also worth noting that there is more mutual understanding between parents and children in those families where children were born in more at a young age.

As a rule, a young family is not financially secure or not sufficiently provided for. Very rarely, spouses of students, or even schoolchildren, can provide for themselves financially. As a result, they cannot live separately, and they have to live on their parents’ necks.

If, nevertheless, a young family finds the opportunity to live separately, this often entails a lot of everyday problems. Everyday difficulties often take a guy and a girl by surprise. Add to this the frequent need to quit school, since a young man must provide for his family, and a girl becomes pregnant and becomes a mother. In addition, with age it becomes increasingly difficult to resume education, both for material and psychological reasons.

We should not forget that often a marriage entered into during a period of love quickly becomes obsolete. Love doesn't always turn into true love when a person is perceived as a part of you, and you are ready to put up with all his shortcomings. This is especially true for the first love - the brightest, but also the most transient. After living with their spouse for some time, the guy or girl realizes that there are no more feelings, only one annoying and tiring everyday life remains. The result is divorce.

In many cases, disappointment also overtakes those who sought relief from dependence on their parents in early marriage. After a short time, young people realize that they still remain dependent on another person; complete independence is out of the question, because they have to reckon with their spouse, give in, and constantly look for compromise solutions. 4.8 out of 5 (22 votes)

Probably everyone can remember how his parents said: “Don’t rush to get married,” “Don’t rush to get married.”
The arguments for such statements are, most often, incomplete education, lack of stable wages, housing, etc. The problem of early marriages is very relevant. Some listen to parental advice and prefer to get back on their feet first, while others, on the contrary, act contrary to their opinion.

But let’s first understand the concept of “early marriage”. Legally, this is a marriage entered into by young people who have not reached legal age. Also called early marriages, which, according to public opinion, are imprisoned before the standard age, i.e. at 18-20 years old. But there is also a psychological aspect of this definition that is not tied to a specific age - this is when young people get married, psychologically unprepared and do not understand what and why they are doing.

The main reasons for early marriages

The reasons for early marriages are as follows:

A strong feeling of love and a desire to reunite with your partner as soon as possible. Arguments such as lack of housing and financial protection They simply don’t work on lovers. They are simply not capable of seriously thinking about what early marriage entails, the pros and cons.

The desire to legitimize their intimate relationships. In some families, parents strictly approach the issue of the intimate life of their children and control them excessively, from which adult children can satisfy their banal curiosity only by “legalizing” their relationship.

Statistics on early marriages list pregnancy as the most common cause. The young man either has to take responsibility for future family on yourself, or pay for an abortion.

The desire to free yourself from excessive parental care. This usually happens in families where parents manipulate, control or take little account of the opinions of their children, as a result of which the latter strive to quickly escape from the parental home.

Unhappy love. Very often, new relationships come to the rescue when your heart is broken and you want to forget past experiences, feel like a loved one again, or simply annoy the offender.

Of course, the consequences of early marriages are mostly disastrous. But there are also happy examples of family life, when spouses live peacefully together, study, build their professional careers, raise children and, at the same time, everything is fine and wonderful for them.

Usually, greatest number Girls marry at the age of 18-24 years, and men at the age of 25-34 years. Early marriage statistics is as follows: in 2010, in Russia there were a total of 1,215,066 marriages, of which 1,131 marriages (among men) and 11,698 (among women) were under the age of 18 years. The good news is that over the past 5 years, the number of early marriages has decreased significantly: if in the period from 2001 to 2005, an average of 3,117 marriages per year were registered under the age of 18 (among men) and 25,026 marriages (among women), then from 2006 to In 2010, an average of 1,744 and 16,128 such marriages were registered, respectively. And still, problem of early marriages remains.

Early marriages: pros and cons

Pros of early marriage:

Wedding. About it magical day, in which there are many guests, gifts and flowers, girls especially dream of. They can’t wait to wear a white dress and turn into a fairy-tale princess at least for one day;

Yet again strong feelings, which allows lovers to show care and attention to each other, easily forgiving mistakes;

Normal nervous system. It is easier for a young body to endure all stress and deal with difficulties, including family ones;

Marriage helps you mature psychologically and become more independent, because you become responsible not only for yourself, but also for your wife and children;

The freedom of action. This aspect attracts those who want to quickly escape from parental care and finally make their own decisions;

At a young age, character and habits have not yet been established and are more flexible. By getting used to each other, the spouses jointly form the traditions and foundations of their family;

Job. Some employers believe that if a man is married, he will be more responsible in his tasks. Unfortunately, when girls get married, they find themselves in a less advantageous position, since companies do not want to pay maternity leave and sick leave for childcare;

For women, according to experts, the most optimal age for the birth of a child 20-30 years old.

The disadvantages of early marriage are directly related to negative consequences.

Those who were children just yesterday step on the threshold life together, not at all imagining the full range of difficulties they will face. This is routine life, mountains of unwashed dishes and dirty laundry, worries about the financial support of the family, the kitchen, children and a hopeless lack of time. Speaking about independence, I would like to say that in fact, having separated from their parents, newlyweds still cannot do everything they want, because now they need to take into account their other half, give in, and find compromises. The only advantage may be that the partner is not as categorical as mom and dad. While there are no children, you can still live for yourself, but when a baby appears, it radically changes your lifestyle. You won’t have as much time for yourself, your hobbies and friends; you’ll have to limit yourself in some ways or rearrange your schedule. Not everyone is ready for such changes and really appreciates pros and cons of early marriages, and as a result, conflicts, misunderstandings, resentments and other negative things arise, which, if not resolved, then inevitably lead to the collapse of relationships.

The concept of early marriage is very vague. For example, the official language of jurisprudence considers a marriage entered into by young people before reaching a certain age established by law to be early. However, people are sure that the family created at the age of 18-20 is the earliest one. And psychologists say that marriages are not tied to the age factor, since there is a certain category of people who, even at 40 years old, do not realize the consequences of their actions and are not ready to answer for them.

What motivates young people who decide to enter into official relationships? After all, sometimes 13-14-year-old teenagers submit documents to the registry office without waiting for the age of majority.

Reasons for early marriages

As a rule, such an act comes as a not entirely pleasant surprise for parents, and they want to know the reasons that prompted their child to take on such a huge responsibility at a time when he is not yet psychologically ready for such a serious step. Experts believe that couples are ready to get married early:

Between which there is strong love and the desire to be with a partner 24 hours a day. The guys are not ready to perceive reality, so they at this stage they are not concerned about issues of unsettled life or lack of funds.
Those wishing to legitimize their sex life, since they live in families where intimate relationships are still a taboo topic, and parents remain extremely strict in their upbringing. The guy and the girl decide to satisfy their natural curiosity in marriage and formalize their relationship in a legislative manner.
Expecting a child. Pregnancy is the most common reason for early marriage, and a man does not always agree to this step voluntarily. Most often, the girl’s parents force him to do so, threatening to go to the police.
Those who want to get rid of excessive parental control and guardianship. And also vice versa, because at home young people are faced with domestic violence and ignoring.
Those who do it to spite their own ex-lover to finally part with the past and psychologically accept a new relationship.

Pros and cons of early marriage

Most often, early marriages break up after a couple of years. Often young people live like cats and dogs, but do not get divorced for fear of disappointing their parents again. And there are couples who have completely free relationships. But among the huge number failed marriages you can also find those that continue happily. Moreover, young people eventually get on their feet, have children and spend their whole lives together.

Such statistics do not allow us to say that early marriages have only disadvantages; there are also advantages that cannot be kept silent about. So let's take a look first negative aspects early family creation, which include:

Changes caused by the birth of a child, when you have to forget about yourself and your desires. Teenagers are rarely ready to change their lives in this way, so sooner or later the couple begins to quarrel, conflict, hidden and obvious grievances appear, leading to divorce.
Lack of understanding of the complexities that marriage poses. It's about about routine, difficulties with everyday life, the need to provide money for the family and take care of children, the desire to go out and have fun instead of going home and taking care of responsibilities.
Incompatibility of sexual desires. Young wives do not experience the same desire as their husbands, so a conflict of interest arises when girls want romance, tender words and walks under the moon, and vice versa for their husbands. In addition, the young wife, due to inexperience, simply cannot satisfy the interests of her chosen one, so in 99% of 100% the man cheats on his significant other. But the worst thing is that after such a marriage, the woman loses faith in the opposite sex, and the husband begins to consider betrayal as a normal phenomenon.

But still, early marriages are not without advantages, among which the following can be noted:

Stormy feelings force young people to forgive each other, not notice shortcomings and learn to show tenderness and care, suppressing their own selfishness.
A wedding at a young age brings a girl so much happiness that she won’t have at any other age. She feels like a queen, and this feeling helps fight youthful complexes.
At a young age, a sense of maximalism makes it easier to endure difficulties, lack of money, and stress.
A young family can get rid of parental supervision much faster and begin to plan their lives independently, without reporting to anyone.
The couple matures faster psychologically, becomes independent and responsible, not only for themselves, but also for their significant other, and even more so for the child.
Young people build the financial foundation of their marriage together, so the question of someone getting married for money does not cloud their future together.
At a young age, there are no habits that have been established over the years, so the grinding process goes faster, as well as adaptation to each other. In adulthood, it is much more difficult to rebuild, both physically and psychologically.
It is easier for young people to form their own family traditions and customs. Those who are older, as a rule, try to accustom their significant other to the principles that were accepted in their families.
Look for a job young man is easier for someone who is married than for someone who is not Serious relationships, because employers consider him more responsible and serious. But with girls it's the other way around. A young wife cannot devote herself to work the way an unmarried employee can. In addition, there is a risk that she will go on maternity leave, so recruiters in 8 cases out of 10 refuse such applicants.
The health of young people is much better than that of 30-35 year olds getting married. That is why it is easier for them to endure all the hardships of life, including sleepless nights with a baby in their arms.

Statistics of early marriages and divorces in Russia

Large quantity Russian girls, according to statistical data, relationships are legalized at the age of 18-24 years, and boys - at 25-34 years old. As for early official relationships, 5-6 years ago their number exceeded 1.215 million marriages. Moreover, there were significantly more underage wives in couples than husbands: 1698 girls and 1131 boys, respectively.

Over the past 2-3 years, these numbers have changed, and early marriages have decreased significantly. Nevertheless this question remains problematic both for Russia and for the whole world, because out of 6.7 marriages, 5 end in a breakdown, despite the fact that many couples already have small children.

The earliest marriages in the world

There is no state in the world where official age girls, allowing her to marry would exceed the age at which a man can marry. This is why there are countries where young people can join official marriage at 9-18 years old. Certainly, legislative norms may provide for any exceptions, but there are states in which it is not the law that is strong, but national traditions. Therefore, they easily learned to bypass official norms.

12-year-old girls can become wives in Paraguay, Spain, Ecuador and Canada. In some selected states North America To get married, a girl must be 13 years old, and at 14 years old, citizens of Colombia, Argentina, Peru and Italy can marry. But it should be noted that in developed countries, young ladies rarely use this right, wanting to study and develop in their careers.

But this is not the limit! The situation is much more serious in the countries of the Islamic world. For example, in almost all settlements of Afghanistan and Nepal, only early marriages are concluded, and at the age of 14-15, boys and girls can officially seal their union.

But in India there are villages where the youngest brides were only 10 years old, but since the law does not allow such marriages to be officially concluded, weddings are held at night, in secret from representatives of the city administration and the police.