There really are a lot of dangers around - from frantic traffic on the streets to threats to one's reputation on the Internet (this is even more important for children than for adults). But constant supervision stifles children's independence. Why learn anything if everything in the world is already controlled by mom and dad? Overprotection does not provide experience, and we worry even more about an inexperienced and helpless child. Let's try to understand how to combine care and common sense.
Control grows and changes with the child. A video nanny can track babies, but the older the children, the more complex their routes, and you have to come up with something more interesting.
According to the statistics cited The RF OP has developed a memo with tips on how to prevent the disappearance of children Public Chamber of the Russian Federation, since the beginning of 2017, about 1,350 people have been lost in Russia, more than 300 of them are children.
At the same time, according to one of the research centers Parents, Teens and Digital Monitoring, 39% of parents filter the information that children can get on the Internet, and only 16% track the child’s location using applications on a smartphone, although such programs are available and help to search not only for children, but also for other family members. The main thing is that you don’t have to constantly call with the constant question “Where are you?” But a smartphone is exactly the item that will be the first to be seized by hooligans who catch a child after school.
Another option is beacons that send geolocation signals. Of course, you will have to buy them separately and at the same time take a closer look at the functions they contain.
It's better to look at wearable gadgets so you don't lose them or forget them at home.
This is a children's watch with built-in GPS. They track the child’s location and send data to the parents’ smartphone. In addition to GPS, the gadget uses LBS technology, which takes data from Wi-Fi points and helps locate the gadget indoors.
To avoid having to constantly look at the map, you can set up safe zones in the application. When a child crosses their borders, the watch sends a notification. A big plus of the gadget is the panic button on the body, which the child himself can press, giving a danger signal. You can turn off constant notifications and agree that you only respond to an alarm call - so that the child does not feel like Big Brother is watching him all the time. The application settings are basic, the watch works out of the box and tracks locations around the world.
Kids Radar has a function to listen to your surroundings. For example, if a child pressed the panic button, you can turn it on and find out what happened: a quarrel with classmates, aggression from a teacher, or something else. At the same time, strangers cannot “call” the gadget.
Children most often get lost in a crowd, in a shopping center or at a party when their parents turn away for a moment. Such cases usually end well, except for the damaged nerve cells. To avoid losing your child, turn on the tracking mode: if the tracker and smartphone are at a great distance, you will hear a signal.
The tracker's bonus is step counting. Soon even the asphalt on the streets will probably be able to count steps, so why not at the same time see how far the child ran during recess and physical education? At least it will be clear where to go after school: do homework or go for a walk (although we already know what to go for a walk).
Even microwave ovens will soon have parental control functions. There are many ways to prevent your child from accessing dangerous information:
It’s easy to choose until the child learns to break open all these fences, and that moment will definitely come. However, if he was able to bypass your technical gadgets, he will be able to figure out what information to consume.
Sooner or later, the child will still be faced with negative information: he will be able to read the inscription on the fence as soon as he learns the alphabet. The parents' task is not to paint over the letters, but to explain what to do.
The danger isn't just getting lost or finding a news story with shocking photos. No gadgets or apps will help if the child does not look both ways before crossing the road. He needs to take care of his own safety, but he can learn this only if he does a lot himself, without parental supervision.
We will have to find a compromise in which the parents will not grab their hearts with or without reason, and the child will not feel locked in a cage.
Always offer freedom along with control.
Leave yourself control over physical safety, but trust your child with something else:
The older the child, the more you can trust him. It is unlikely that you will be able to block the Internet from a teenager or hang a beacon on a school graduate, so responsibility for yourself needs to be taught as early as possible.
Imagine that you are traveling with your whole family by car. Your favorite music is playing on the radio, and with every kilometer all your problems become further away from you. You are brought out of such an idyll by the screams of your children: “He hit me!”, “She’s teasing again!” You're thinking, "If this car had a child control button instead of cruise control, you'd pay any money for it."
Indeed, if you could completely control your children, any family trip would go without incident, and you would talk on the phone calmly and could avoid many domestic quarrels. If control is such an important part of parenting, how can we effectively control our children?
Parental controls: pros and cons
Let's look at the main difficulties parents have in controlling their children's behavior, as well as ways to establish this control.
First, you should understand that both parents can control the child equally. Many of us have the feeling that a child who is overly controlled becomes irritable and intolerant of himself and others.
Imagine that in a first grade art lesson, when it is necessary to draw a landscape, the teacher gives the children only blue, green and brown pencils, because he believes that nature has only these colors. In this sense, control means strict restrictions. On the other hand, it is self-control that makes society civilized, and since the child cannot yet fully control himself, parents must explain to him that every action has real consequences that should be foreseen. Both points of view on parental control are not the ultimate truth.
Most misunderstandings about this happen because we forget two important things. Firstly, we cannot control children, but only situations. Secondly, in the process of controlling children, the relationship between them and their parents is no less important than rewards and punishments.
Control and parenting styles
Much research in the field of psychology is devoted to the problem of parental control. The famous American psychologist Diana Baumrind considers this problem within the framework of her theory of parenting styles. She identifies three main styles:
1. Authoritarian style. Parents who adhere to it follow the “because I said so” rule and reward the child for obedience. They strictly ensure that the child adheres to the established rules, and they consider punishment to be the most effective way to achieve this. A child must first of all obey his parents, and only then listen to his own feelings. Children of authoritarian parents become “good” adults: they know how to obey, but, as a rule, do not have sufficient social skills and are generally not happy.
2. Democratic style. Democratic parents, just like authoritarian ones, voice their expectations to the child, but they are more susceptible to the child’s feelings and reactions. Expectations and goals are presented to the child in a positive light, and not as once and for all established rules that the child must fear. Democratic parents balance negative consequences for misbehavior with positive parenting. In some cases, they forgive the child for his misdeeds. Democratic parents respect their children, so their children grow up happy and successful.
3. Liberal (permissive) style. Parents do not set strict rules for the child, and their expectations from the child are low. Liberal parents believe that the child is naturally inclined to choose good behavior patterns, and he should not be disturbed in this. To be honest, liberal parents sometimes fear conflict with their children and want to be their friends, not their enemies. It is not surprising that children often have problems with self-control after this.
At first glance, it may seem that authoritarian parents tend to control their children the most. In such families, children are not rude to adults, they obey them and behave well. However, authoritarian parents often confuse control over the child and control over the situation. The problem with this type of control is that over time it does not lead to the child developing self-control, but to fear of authority. In addition, control from authoritative parents is based more on punishment than on rewards. The child learns to avoid punishment rather than experience positive emotions from rewards.
On the other hand, liberal parents who allow the child everything often do not have the skills to control the situation - a commanding voice, the ability to control the child with praise or anticipate problematic situations. In the end, liberal parents admit defeat because they believe that if they take control of the situation, then their parenting method has not worked. When a situation gets out of control, both liberal and authoritarian parents may yell at the child, punish him excessively, or threaten him (“Wait, we'll get home and you can watch me”).
Democratic parents are better at controlling situations than others. They find effective ways to influence a child and know how to properly use positive and negative consequences to achieve what they want. Here's how democratic parents differ from others:
The main thing in democratic parenting is the understanding that control over the child’s behavior is gained over time, when parents step by step follow a clear plan and choose the most effective parenting strategies.
How to properly supervise children
As we see, parental control can not only limit the child, as we used to think, but also be for his benefit. Let's look at specific control situations that parents often face:
Plan your actions in such situations in advance. For example, when you go shopping with your child, plan to spend 10 minutes more than usual. You may need a few minutes to calm your child if he becomes fussy. If children argue about what to watch on TV, take away the TV remote control and wait until the children calm down and agree.
There really are a lot of dangers around - from frantic traffic on the streets to threats to one's reputation on the Internet (this is even more important for children than for adults). But constant supervision stifles children's independence. Why learn anything if everything in the world is already controlled by mom and dad? Overprotection does not provide experience, and we worry even more about an inexperienced and helpless child. Let's try to understand how to combine care and common sense.
Control grows and changes with the child. A video nanny can track babies, but the older the children, the more complex their routes, and you have to come up with something more interesting.
According to the statistics cited The RF OP has developed a memo with tips on how to prevent the disappearance of children Public Chamber of the Russian Federation, since the beginning of 2017, about 1,350 people have been lost in Russia, more than 300 of them are children.
At the same time, according to one of the research centers Parents, Teens and Digital Monitoring, 39% of parents filter the information that children can get on the Internet, and only 16% track the child’s location using applications on a smartphone, although such programs are available and help to search not only for children, but also for other family members. The main thing is that you don’t have to constantly call with the constant question “Where are you?” But a smartphone is exactly the item that will be the first to be seized by hooligans who catch a child after school.
Another option is beacons that send geolocation signals. Of course, you will have to buy them separately and at the same time take a closer look at the functions they contain.
It's better to look at wearable gadgets so you don't lose them or forget them at home.
This is a children's watch with built-in GPS. They track the child’s location and send data to the parents’ smartphone. In addition to GPS, the gadget uses LBS technology, which takes data from Wi-Fi points and helps locate the gadget indoors.
To avoid having to constantly look at the map, you can set up safe zones in the application. When a child crosses their borders, the watch sends a notification. A big plus of the gadget is the panic button on the body, which the child himself can press, giving a danger signal. You can turn off constant notifications and agree that you only respond to an alarm call - so that the child does not feel like Big Brother is watching him all the time. The application settings are basic, the watch works out of the box and tracks locations around the world.
Kids Radar has a function to listen to your surroundings. For example, if a child pressed the panic button, you can turn it on and find out what happened: a quarrel with classmates, aggression from a teacher, or something else. At the same time, strangers cannot “call” the gadget.
Children most often get lost in a crowd, in a shopping center or at a party when their parents turn away for a moment. Such cases usually end well, except for the damaged nerve cells. To avoid losing your child, turn on the tracking mode: if the tracker and smartphone are at a great distance, you will hear a signal.
The tracker's bonus is step counting. Soon even the asphalt on the streets will probably be able to count steps, so why not at the same time see how far the child ran during recess and physical education? At least it will be clear where to go after school: do homework or go for a walk (although we already know what to go for a walk).
Even microwave ovens will soon have parental control functions. There are many ways to prevent your child from accessing dangerous information:
It’s easy to choose until the child learns to break open all these fences, and that moment will definitely come. However, if he was able to bypass your technical gadgets, he will be able to figure out what information to consume.
Sooner or later, the child will still be faced with negative information: he will be able to read the inscription on the fence as soon as he learns the alphabet. The parents' task is not to paint over the letters, but to explain what to do.
The danger isn't just getting lost or finding a news story with shocking photos. No gadgets or apps will help if the child does not look both ways before crossing the road. He needs to take care of his own safety, but he can learn this only if he does a lot himself, without parental supervision.
We will have to find a compromise in which the parents will not grab their hearts with or without reason, and the child will not feel locked in a cage.
Always offer freedom along with control.
Leave yourself control over physical safety, but trust your child with something else:
The older the child, the more you can trust him. It is unlikely that you will be able to block the Internet from a teenager or hang a beacon on a school graduate, so responsibility for yourself needs to be taught as early as possible.
Our lives are changing: the pace is accelerating, the information load is increasing. And, despite the emergence of a mass of electronic mechanisms designed to simplify daily work at the enterprise, in the office and at home, a modern person needs more and more time to control all areas of his life.
The media seems to have set out to intimidate us by regularly showing accidents, crimes and accidents, the world around us begins to seem like a hostile space where, as in the cartoon about a kitten named Woof, “only trouble awaits us.”
It becomes scary to let go of the most precious thing - a child - into such a world, and in order to muffle this fear, parents want to completely control the child’s life: his location, movements, social circle, studies, interests, health and experiences...
The demand for control devices generates a lot of proposals. A modern parent has access to a wide variety of devices and entire systems, such as a system of electronic school cards or an electronic diary. Monitoring a child at school is a very popular service, because the student spends almost half of his day in an educational institution, where parents cannot see him. And so, terminals appear at the entrance to the school, and cameras in the classrooms, and even a parent who is in the office all day can easily control the child on the Internet: find out when he entered the school, or even look at the lesson in the mode real time.
Everything that brings profit is developing intensively. And in order to whet parents’ interest in their services, manufacturers of control devices intimidate them in their advertising, describing all the possible dangers that a child will be exposed to if they just let him out into the street alone. On the one hand, this is not bad: forewarned means forearmed. However, on the other hand, such information increases the level of anxiety of the adult, which he transfers to the child, and increased anxiety never leads to good.
When today's parents were still children themselves, their parents did not have much opportunity to control the behavior and academic performance of their children, much less their movements during the day. Parent meetings every 3 months brought a lot of surprises. And the parents most often had no idea that the child spent time in some garage or abandoned construction site.
Today you can equip your student with a mobile phone, GPS tracker, electronic school map and control his every step. “I feel calmer this way,” you can often hear from parents, “I don’t mind the money for peace of mind.”
Although – is it really calmer? After all, if you think about it, all responsibility for his life is removed from the child himself. He knows very well that everything he does is controlled by his parents. And responsibility is a thing that, even if it is removed from one person, falls on the shoulders of another, in this case, the parent. It would seem that the parent consciously goes for this, but does he weigh his options? Or does fear of unknown dangers cloud your eyes?
Adult family members, and most often, one of them, are responsible for its well-being, psychological climate, good relationships and comfort in the home, work and career achievements, the child’s health, and to all this is added responsibility for the child’s behavior, studies, and others spheres of life that a schoolchild himself is quite capable of controlling. What if the child is not alone? What is it like to live under the constant pressure of such responsibility? Know that if you get distracted, lose your vigilance, your children will immediately get bad marks, get lost on the way from home to school, be rude to the teacher and go into a dark gateway with a sinister-looking stranger? All that a parent will get as a result is children who are unable to take responsibility for their actions and decisions, plus a persistent feeling of guilt.
Supervising children is one of the responsibilities of parents. However, control and control are different. And where is the line between simple concern for safety and complete suppression of personality?
From the very birth of the baby, we, the parents, bear full responsibility for him. After all, a baby is not able to control even his own arms and legs, not to mention the cleanliness of diapers and diapers. We monitor the child’s health by periodically arranging medical examinations. Parenting involves controlling a child’s behavior and directing it in the right direction. But a child does not remain a baby forever, he grows, and so does the scope of his responsibility. And now, the preschooler can already manage his own toys, give them to friends, etc. The student controls his own schedule and goes to and from school independently. A teenager chooses a future profession and prepares to enter a university... This is the natural course of things, but the parental soul cannot always come to terms with it.
More than once or twice as a child grows up, adults have a desire to control him. And often against his wishes. Worried parents are interested in how to find out where their child is by phone, and whether there are devices that allow them to monitor their son or daughter around the clock without their noticing. After all, there is such a great desire to know where they are, what is happening around them, and what is going on in their heads. And manufacturers of tracking equipment happily provide a variety of spy gadgets for purchase, but the thought catcher has not yet been invented.
Monitoring the child’s safety should not be carried out by electronic devices, but by constant repetition of the rules of behavior. The child must clearly know what can be done and what cannot be done under any circumstances. Then the parents will be sure that he will calmly walk home from school and will not enter the elevator with a stranger. Give your child the part of responsibility that he is ready to take on.
There are things that are difficult to control even for a teenager, because they are so fascinating that the mind cannot cope with the desire. For example, computer games. Some people are so carried away by virtual adventures that they forget where is real life and where is the game. The same can be said about other types of addiction. Parents need to control the time a child spends on the computer, at least until the child can handle it on his own.
How do you know if it’s coping or not yet? Sample! Provide him with the opportunity to plan his own time, including time for games and the Internet. If studies, relationships and sleep do not suffer, then the child copes well with controlling his own desires.
A child spinning out of control is a nightmare for most parents. And for many - a reality that is no less terrible. What to do if a hitherto obedient child breaks loose and the parents stop coping with him? If neither the carrot nor the stick are any longer effective? The child begins to do only what he wants, when he wants, and does not consult anyone. Or he consults, but clearly not with those with whom he should.
This is a natural stage of maturation inherent in adolescence. By the way, this age itself is now younger, and if previously parents first encountered the child’s desire to leave care when he turned 15, now such a problem can arise with a ten-year-old schoolchild.
When the baby turned 3 years old, he first began to push away his mother and strive to dress himself, fasten buttons or choose a toy for himself. “I myself!” - the motto of this age and crisis of three years. Now the same thing is happening, only on a new scale: “I myself will be responsible for myself!” - says the teenager. Or, more often, he says: “Leave me alone, this is my life!”
You need to survive this stage while maintaining common ground with your child. Adolescence does not last forever and after some time the child realizes that his parents are friends, companions, and not leaders and controllers.
All children are future adults. Whether an adult will be responsible and decisive or will remain an eternal child, looking back at those who seem to him to be an authority, and at the same time blaming the whole world for his own problems, depends on how he lives the stage of formation, or rather, how he is allowed to live it.
Letting go of children is difficult, but necessary. Otherwise, in addition to your own life, you can also live the life of a child, leaving him the role of an outside observer.
Parental controls in Windows are a built-in feature of all Microsoft operating systems, with which parents can organize their child’s work on the computer, prohibit the use of certain programs or sites, and view PC activity statistics.
The function will be useful in any family, because you will always be aware of how much time the child spends on the computer, what sites he views and what games he plays. One of the main parental control options is setting the PC turn-on time. You can prohibit your child from turning on the computer, for example, after six in the evening. As a result, he will not be able to log into his account.
Using the standard control option, parents will be able to:
Before setting up parental controls in any version of Windows, you need to create two accounts on your computer - for you and your child. If the parents’ account does not have a password, the child will be able to easily bypass all the restrictions set by logging in as an administrator.
The child's account does not need to be protected with a password. Without entering a code word, it will be easier for the account owner to start working with the computer. Just click on your profile photo and wait for the desktop to load.
Follow the instructions to create multiple system users in Windows 8/10:
To set a password for a user record, click on his photo and select “Access Password” from the list. If the administrator account is associated with a Microsoft Online service, the access password is the password associated with the email account.
Instructions for Windows 7 users:
Parental controls in Windows 7 support the following options:
To enable control, make sure that a child account has been created on your computer. Then open Control Panel and select the User Accounts box. Select an administrator profile.
Check if a password is set. To view documentation about parental controls from the OS developer, click on the field indicated in the figure below.
Any additional profiles will be displayed under the admin entry. Click on the child's entry, in our case it is the Tester icon. Next, a window will open with additional information.
In the “Selecting Allowed Actions” section, enable parental controls.
Now you can begin to restrict the work of the second user. The above window displays a set of options that you can change. The first of them is setting the computer operating time.
You only need to mark the time range during which you will be allowed to use the PC. Settings can be made for each day of the week. Click on the white square to change its color. Blue color means that the child will be able to work on the computer during this time.
To select several cells at the same time, hold down the left mouse button and select the desired period of time.
The next function is to configure how to work with installed games. Here you can prohibit or allow the inclusion of gaming applications, set the allowed age rating, or manually select those installed on your computer from among the games installed on your computer. Which the child can turn on.
Notice! If an application does not indicate its rating, it will also be blocked from the second account.
To save the settings, click on the “OK” button at the bottom of the screen.
If pirated games are installed on your computer, it is recommended to configure access to applications manually, since these programs will not be displayed in the window for selecting the permitted age limit.
To verify that all settings are correct, be sure to test all functions yourself. Try to turn on a prohibited program or game. If necessary, double-check that the settings are correct.
Parental controls in Windows 10 support even more features and functionality. The innovation that the developer launched is an option to control purchases in the Microsoft store. Parents can set the maximum purchase amount and age limit. Thus, a child cannot buy a game that is intended for a certain age.
In total, there are 5 software categories in the application store, divided by age:
Create a child account as described above and set a password for the system administrator page. Now you can start setting up parental controls.
Immediately after creating a new account, log in using its name and check whether it was really created in the “Child” category. Also, you can customize the desktop design and add to it all the shortcuts necessary for your child’s work. This will allow children to get to work faster and not have to search for the necessary programs in all folders of the system.
To manage your child’s account settings, go to https://account.microsoft.com/account/ManageMyAccount?destrt=FamilyLandingPage and log in with the computer owner (administrator) account details.
The second account is already linked to yours. To start setting up, just click on the additional profile icon.
Available settings:
Also, in the parental control settings window there is an option to control the child’s location. If he uses a portable gadget with Windows 10, parents will always remain aware of where the child is now. This is possible using real-time location services.
Let's look at how to disable parental controls on Windows 7.10. To deactivate the function in Windows 7, just go to the child account settings and uncheck the box next to the “Parental Controls” field.
To deactivate the option in Windows 10, go to your family account on the Microsoft website and reset all previously set restrictions.
In addition to standard control tools, you can download other programs from the Microsoft Store for organizing children's work on the computer.
Waky Safe is a simple and functional utility for organizing information searches on the Internet. The utility is used as an absolutely safe browser. Which is recommended for use by children. There are built-in mini-games.
Limits the ability to work with the Internet. Parents can configure settings for working with search engines and social networks.