Early marriages: pros and cons. Early marriages: pros and cons, as well as statistics, causes and consequences

In past centuries, early marriages were very common, and marriage at 13 was considered the norm. The main reason for this phenomenon was the preservation of chastity before marriage. Today, marriage is considered early, concluded before the onset of adulthood. In addition, the creation of a family for frivolous reasons, without their own material base and life experience can also be included in this category. Is a marriage between very young people reliable, will it become strong and happy, contrary to statistics? To answer this question, it is worth considering in more detail the main reasons why early marriages are concluded, the pros and cons of such unions.

Reasons for early marriages

Arguments for"

Love

If this is a really strong feeling, and not a surge of hormones, then the young family has every chance of becoming strong and happy. Over time, the ardent feeling is replaced by respect and tenderness.

Wedding

When marrying at an older age, spouses are more practical in celebrating this event, preferring a narrow family circle or a trip to the sea. But the young newlyweds dream of big holiday, guests and gifts. This is especially true for young brides. After all, every girl wants to be on this important day real princess.

Child

The optimal age for the birth of healthy children is 20-25 years. That is, young spouses can take their time with procreation, get to know each other better, organize life and just be together. In addition, it is much easier for women under 30 to bear and give birth to a baby than at an older age. And a young mother will be able to understand children in a difficult period of growing up much better.

Patience

In youth, it is much easier to adapt to each other. The nervous system is still strong enough, the character is not fully formed, the habits are not settled. The main thing is to learn during conflicts that happen even in the most happy families not to show intolerance and irascibility inherent in young people.

Independence

Marriage helps young people become more responsible and mentally mature. The family nurtures independence. After all, having made a decision to create it, you have to learn to solve all problems, including financial ones, on your own. And be responsible not only for yourself, but also for your soulmate, and later - for the babies born.

Career

Most employers consider family employees to be more reliable than single employees. Although this applies more to men.

Arguments against"

carelessness

Entering into an early marriage, few of the young people think about the fact that life will change from that moment on. That yesterday's schoolchildren will have to support themselves and own house learn to resolve conflicts and build adult relationships. Discos, parties with friends will have to be reduced, or even completely abandoned. When this understanding comes, the first conflicts and quarrels begin, the lack of life experience does not allow to get out of them correctly.

Life

Even if a young family is financially secure, you need to get used to doing a lot of everyday household things on your own. Going to the store, washing, repairing - even the strongest feeling often breaks into these simple little things. Besides, in Everyday life the partner may turn out to be completely different from what he was during romantic meetings. Knights and princesses also get sick, they have trouble at work and just Bad mood. In order to accept a soul mate in a new way, wisdom is needed, which is often acquired only over the years. And the birth of a child can be a real test for young spouses. After all, for the sake of little man young parents will have to give up many familiar things.

Sex

Young people prefer the quantity of lovemaking more than the quality. Adult couples in sex are more relaxed, focused on a partner. And if a man is in his prime at the age of 17-30, then the peak of female sexuality falls on the age after 30. A guy and a girl entering into an early marriage often have experience of intimate relationships exclusively with each other. Banal curiosity, what can be sex with someone else, can cause betrayal and separation.

According to statistics, early marriages often end badly. But there is a small percentage of young couples where both spouses understand and accept full responsibility for creating new family. It is these alliances, reinforced strong love, over time become strong and happy.

Probably, everyone can remember how his parents said: "Do not rush to get married", "Do not rush to get married."
The arguments for such statements are, most often, incomplete education, the lack of a stable wages, housing, etc. The problem of early marriages is very relevant. Someone listens to parental advice and prefers to get on their feet first, while someone, on the contrary, acts contrary to their opinion.

But let's first deal with the concept of "early marriage". Legally, this is a marriage entered into by young people who have not reached the legal age. Marriages are also called early, which, according to public opinion, are concluded before the standard age, i.e. at 18-20 years old. But there is also psychological aspect of this definition, not tied to a specific age, is when young people get married, psychologically unprepared and do not understand what they are doing and why.

The main causes of early marriages

The reasons for early marriages are as follows:

• A strong feeling of love and a desire to reunite with your partner as soon as possible. Arguments such as lack of housing and financial protection lovers just don't work. They are simply not capable of seriously thinking about what early marriages entail, “for” and “against”.
• The desire to legitimize their intimate relationship. In some families, parents are strict about the issue intimate life their children and control them excessively, from which adult children can satisfy their banal curiosity only by “legalizing” their relationship.
• Early marriage statistics list pregnancy as the most common cause. To a young man either have to take responsibility for future family on yourself or pay for the abortion.
• Desire to be freed from excessive parental care. This usually happens in families where parents manipulate, control or take little account of the opinions of their children, as a result of which the latter tend to quickly escape from the parental home.
• Unhappy love. Very often, new relationships come to the rescue when the heart is broken and you want to forget past experiences, feel like a loved one again, or just annoy the offender.

Of course, the consequences of early marriages are mostly deplorable. But there are also happy examples. family life when spouses live peacefully together, study, build their professional careers, raise children and, at the same time, everything is fine and fine with them.

As a rule, the largest number of girls marry at the age of 18-24, and men - at the age of 25-34. early marriage statistics is as follows: in 2010, a total of 1,215,066 marriages were concluded in Russia, of which 1,131 marriages (among men) and 11,698 (among women) under the age of 18 years. The pleasant thing is that over the past 5 years, the number of early marriages has significantly decreased: if in the period from 2001 to 2005 under the age of 18, an average of 3,117 marriages per year (among men) and 25,026 marriages (among women) were registered, then from 2006 to In 2010, such marriages were registered on average 1744 and 16128 respectively. And still, early marriage problem remains.

Early marriages: pros and cons

Advantages of early marriages:

1. Wedding. About it magical day, in which there are many guests, gifts and flowers, girls especially dream. They can't wait to be in a white dress and turn into a fairy princess for at least one day;
2. Yet again strong feelings, which allows lovers to show care and attention to each other, easily forgiving mistakes;
3. Normal nervous system. It is easier for a young body to endure all stresses and deal with difficulties, including family ones;
4. Marriage helps to mature psychologically and become more independent, because there is responsibility not only for oneself, but also for one's wife and children;
5. The freedom of action. This aspect attracts those who want to quickly escape from parental care and, finally, make their own decisions;
6. AT young age character and habits are not yet settled and more flexible. Rubbing each other, the spouses jointly form the traditions and foundations of their family;
7. Job. Some employers believe that if a man is married, he will be more responsible for the assigned tasks. Unfortunately, girls are at a disadvantage when they get married because companies don't want to pay maternity leave and sick leave for childcare;
8. For women, according to experts, the most optimal age for the birth of a child 20-30 years old.

The disadvantages of early marriages are directly related to the negative consequences.

Those who were children yesterday are stepping on the threshold life together completely unaware of the full range of difficulties they will face. This is a routine life, mountains of unwashed dishes and dirty linen, worries about the financial support of the family, the kitchen, children and a hopeless lack of time. Speaking about independence, I would like to say that in fact, breaking away from their parents, the newlyweds still cannot do whatever they want, because now they need to reckon with their soulmate, give in, find compromises. The only advantage may be that the partner is not as categorical as mom and dad. While there are no children, you can still live for yourself, but when a baby appears, it radically changes the way of life. There will no longer be so much time for yourself, for your hobbies and friends, you will have to limit yourself in some way or restructure your schedule. Not everyone is ready for such changes and really appreciates pros and cons of early marriage, and as a result, conflicts, misunderstandings, resentment and other negative things arise, which, if not resolved, then inevitably lead to the collapse of relations.

Legally, marriage is considered early if it is entered into by a guy and a girl who have not reached the age specified by law. Public opinion is somewhat different - we call the created family early if the young were 18-20 years old. However, there is more psychological factor, which determines early marriages, it is not tied to a specific age. For example, when a guy and a girl creating a family are not ready for this, because they are not fully aware of the consequences of their actions.

Reasons for early marriages

Many people care important question: what drives teenagers who decide to enter into marriage? If modern, not yet psychologically formed, young people are eager to register a family, sometimes without even waiting for the allowed age, for parents this becomes a problem, and often unexpected. Then adults begin to be interested in the reasons for the desire that arose in children to marry in early age. Parents really need to know about the motives that push them to the decision to create a family:

• The desire to legitimize intimate relationships. Some families are strict about the issue of sexual education of children, subjecting them to suffocating control. Therefore, the grown-up son or daughter decides to satisfy curiosity by "legalizing" their relationship.
• Strong love and desire to unite oneself with a partner by marriage. Aspects such as the lack of housing for cohabitation or financial dependence on parents, the couple does not care. Young people are not yet capable of realizing the responsibility that falls on them when they enter into marriage.
• Pregnancy is the most common argument for starting a family early. The young man is forced to either pay for the abortion or take responsibility for the future of the child and the young mother.
• The desire to get away from overprotection parents. This reason for the early marriage or marriage of a child occurs when adults manipulate him or are not interested in his opinion.
• It happens that unhappy love becomes an argument for starting a new relationship. To annoy a former loved one, some teenagers even decide on early marriages.

Pros and Cons of Early Marriage

Not surprisingly, the consequences of marriage at an early age are deplorable. However, there are also happy examples when family life develops successfully, and spouses live happily together all their lives, studying, building a career, raising children. Quick marriages have their pros and cons. Let's start with the negative aspects that may accompany young people who decide to start a family early:

1. Unawareness of all the difficulties that adolescents will face. This is a routine life, the division of household duties, the need for material support for the family, caring for future children, lack of time, the desire to have fun.
2. Cardinal changes in the life of a guy and a girl with the advent of a child. You will need to forget about meetings with friends, your hobbies for a while, but not all couples who marry early are ready for such changes. As a result, there is misunderstanding, conflicts, resentment, which can lead to a break in relations.
3. Do not forget about the physiological aspects of young boys and girls. The level of sexuality of teenage wives is very low, and their husbands, on the contrary, have a peak of sexual activity at this time. Therefore, marriage between peers at the age of 18-20 years is undesirable, because the girl will not be able to fully satisfy the sexual needs of the newly-made husband. On this basis, conflicts and growing dissatisfaction with each other will inevitably arise.

The advantages of marriage at an early age can be such moments:

1. Strong feelings stimulate young people to take care of each other, forgiving mistakes or shortcomings of a partner.
2. A wedding makes young girls who have dreamed of this event very happy: White dress, attention of guests, gifts and flowers. In more adulthood the celebration no longer causes such delight.
3. The strong nerves of the young bride and groom make it easier for them to cope with stressful situations and difficulties in family life.
4. Marriage at an early age helps a girl and a guy become more independent, mature psychologically faster, because there is a sense of responsibility not only for themselves, but also for family members.
5. The freedom to make decisions attracts guys and girls who are more likely to get rid of parental overprotection.
6. It is easier to change habits at a young age, so a guy and a girl can jointly form joint traditions. The process of adaptation and lapping to each other a friend will pass easier than when it is carried out between mature people.
7. Employers prefer to hire people who already have a family, because they consider such candidates to be more responsible. However, this only applies to guys, to married girls attitude is different. It is likely that she will become pregnant and soon go on paid maternity leave, so the employer often refuses such a candidate.

Statistics of early marriages and divorces in Russia

Statistically, maximum amount girls marry between the ages of 18 and 24, and boys between 25 and 34. If we talk about early marriages, then in 2010 in Russia there were more than 1.215 million of them. Among them: underage boys - 1131, girls - 11698 married. Experts note that over the past five years the number of marriages among teenagers has decreased significantly.

It is estimated that from 2001 to 2005, on average, there were about 3100 marriages between minors (among men) and 25 thousand (among women). And in more late period from 2006 to 2010, 1744 and 16128 marriages were registered, respectively. However, marriage between minors is still a problem. social theme not only in Russia, but all over the world. According to statistics, there are 5 divorces for every 6.7 marriages concluded by teenagers.

The earliest marriages in the world

There is no state where marriageable age girls came later than boys. On the territory of different countries, the earliest age for marriage registration is from 9 to 18 years. Sometimes the legislation provides for certain exceptions, and often settlements with very strict traditions and canons completely bypass the established laws.

According to the laws of Argentina, Italy, Colombia and Peru, the minimum age for marriage for girls is 14 years old, and in the USA it is 13. However, each state of America independently determines the minimum marriageable age, and it may differ in different districts. In Canada, Ecuador, Spain, Paraguay, marriages are allowed from the age of 12.

In some Muslim countries and settlements that are far from the civilized world, early marriages are flourishing. So, in Afghanistan and Nepal, the early age at which boys and girls are allowed to marry is 14-15 years. In some Indian villages, girls who are barely 10 years old are given in marriage. But since it is illegal, the residents hold ceremonies late at night, hiding it from the administration of the settlement and representatives of the law.

Video: Psychologists' opinion about early marriages

It is impossible to unequivocally judge whether marriages between minors are good or bad. Some young couples break up after a year together, while others happily celebrate their golden wedding anniversary. One way or another, the final decision is made by the beloved himself, however, if there are good reasons for this, it is worth waiting a bit on the day of marriage. true love it does not threaten anything, and weak feelings are not worthy of marriage. What psychologists think about the early creation of a family, see the video below.

What marriages are considered early? This concept is very changeable over time. In the old days, when a girl was married at the age of 16-17, this was considered normal. And some nations still marry off their daughters at the age of 14-15, and this is considered normal for them. Early Muslim marriages are common. In modern civilized countries, before thirty, or even thirty-five years, it is considered normal for a woman not to tie the knot.

Analyzing the age of the newlyweds in different countries and societies, we can conclude that the more developed the society, the higher the level intellectual development and the more well-off a person feels in this society, the later young people tend to tie the knot.

Russian legislation allows marriage upon reaching the age of 18 years. AT exceptional cases and with the consent of parents or legal representatives, and less than 18 years of age.

For the most part, early marriages are concluded mainly for forced reasons, rather than out of sincere desire. As a rule, the emerging need for early marriage of children becomes complete surprise for parents, and I must say not the most pleasant surprise.

And this understanding becomes a decisive reason for divorce, even despite the presence of children.

Earliest

All over the world, women and men of the same age have the right to marry. From this point of view, in every country there is equality between men and women.

There are countries where marriage is allowed from the age of 9! These are the states where at the forefront is not legislation, but.

Paraguay, Spain, Canada and Ecuador allow girls to marry from the age of 12.

Some US states give young misses such a right from the age of 13.

Colombia, Argentina, Peru and Italy allow girls to marry from the age of 14.

Most settlements in Afghanistan and Nepal enter exclusively into early marriages, when boys and girls reach the age of 14-15.

Early marriages a phenomenon taking place in India. And in some settlements of India, the age of the most young brides reaches 10 years. Of course, such marriages are prohibited by law, but the norms of traditions and customs in this country are very strong and such marriages, as a rule, take place at night and in secret from the authorities.

Listen to your parents, because they will not advise bad! And this is the main and most capacious advice, to which, as a rule, few of the windy youth listen.

Between 2001 and 2005, this figure was approximately 3,000 marriages for men and 25,000 for women. For the period 2006-2010 40% less. Early marriages are considered problematic and statistically, five out of seven early marriages end up breaking up.

Early marriages in Russia

In pre-Petrine times, marriage was entered into only at the will of the parents. The daughter-in-law in the groom's family was considered from the point of view of additional working hands, so boys got married at the age of 11-15.

By decree of Peter I, marriage issues were settled, and the age of marriage for men began to start at 18 years old, and for women - from 16 years old. The need to obtain parental consent on both sides remained.

The first "Code of Laws on Acts of Civil Status", adopted after the revolution of 1917, did not make any changes.

The minimum age for marriage was equalized for both men and women under 18 only after 1925. The same age is the minimum even now, but in some cases, with the consent of the parents, an earlier marriage is possible.

Some people do not strive from the first years of youth to enter into marriage bonds with someone and start a family, but for some this is the meaning of life. Are early marriages good?

What is early marriage

Now marriage is considered early if the spouses are not yet twenty years old. Most often, such marriages are perceived negatively in society, since young people have not yet graduated from higher education. educational institutions, did not get on their feet and most often did not become independent in material terms, but already create a family.

There is a stereotype that young people are afraid of such an outcome of relationships as marriage. But it is not so. Divorce is now a simple and fairly quick matter, in addition, it does not meet with condemnation in society. Therefore, you can always join legal marriage, and after a divorce, if there is a clash of characters or the husband will change.

The problem is that despite simple procedure divorce, "scars" from it remains a lot. This may be further difficulties in personal life, wasted years youth. And if children appeared in the family before the divorce, then they also get “scars” - life without one of the parents and thus a deprived childhood.

Most young people are married to current partner Seems like a pretty logical outcome. But not everyone imagines it with all the nuances. There are still people who idealize marriage as such. Many of them will be disappointed in it after registration, as they are often not ready for the difficulties and problems that await them after the exchange of rings.

Reasons for early marriages

1. Desire to become independent from parents. In families where parents exercise excessive control over already legally grown children, the latter often try to get out from under the parental wing through marriage and creation own family, with their "laws" and rights.
2. The desire to reunite with a partner in every sense. The idealization of marriage as such leads lovers to ignore common sense and marry, despite the lack of a material base, education, and sometimes even housing. At the same time, the newlyweds themselves believe that they did the right thing, because the stamp in the passport is the highest manifestation of love and proof of its seriousness.
3. Pregnancy. Unfortunately, the so-called "arrival marriages" are now very popular. Their reasons can be different, from an accidental pregnancy of a girl to a well-thought-out one, where the main idea is marriage with her lover. Such girls are afraid of the frivolity of the relationship and the fact that the guy will not marry them without an “important reason”.

As statistics show, most early marriages end some time after registration. The reasons for this may be very different.

Benefits of early marriage

• strong and mutual feelings. Oddly enough, but at this age, love is really strong, full of tenderness and care for each other;
• character flexibility. At eighteen, a person is able to adapt to a partner, and at thirty it is more difficult for him. Therefore, young people can form their own family relationships;
• a normally functioning nervous system. Again, nerves are stronger at eighteen than at thirty. At this age, it is easier to deal with difficulties and stress;
• the emergence of healthy children. It's believed that best age for the birth of children for women - up to thirty-five years. However, there is also an opinion that it is not recommended to give birth before the age of twenty-two - female body not yet fully formed, and pregnancy can be difficult.

Cons of early marriage

• great responsibility. Marriage requires a serious attitude to it and a willingness to take responsibility. At an early age, it is not always possible to prepare for this and bear responsibility. Often there may not be a desire - marriage simply seems to be something ideal and without problems;
• Having a baby is stressful. Even for a mature and prepared family, the arrival of a child can be a serious stress. For young people who have not yet graduated from universities and have not got on their feet as expected, even more so;
• opportunity to be disappointed in your spouse. Often, before marriage, young people did not even live together, so some habits of a loved one and features of life with him can be unpleasantly surprising. There is always a risk that life and routine will simply “eat up” relationships, deprive them of romance and old passion. Of course, it is possible to return love and emotions, but not everyone is ready for this and not everyone wants to. As a result, mutual disappointment leads to divorce;
• financial failure. Few people at the age of eighteen or twenty have a stable income with which to provide for a family. Getting an education and work takes a lot of time and effort. It is even harder for women because possible birth child - most of those who gave birth go on academic leave or leave institutes altogether.