We create strong families. How to create a strong and happy family? How to build a happy marriage

27.09.2019

How to build, no matter what strong family? I think many people have asked this question. Every man has this on a subconscious level. And no matter what anyone says, this is exactly so. All these promiscuity and the ensuing consequences are not good. Yes, I certainly understand that this article slightly contradicts the ideology of the site, and yet relationships are built in order to receive emotional satisfaction or create a family in the future.

A strong and happy family is the key to success!

So, hello, dear reader! Today I would like to talk about whether it is possible to create a truly strong family, and how to do it.

Not only family is important. Every person has his own calling. Very important before attempting to build family happiness, find a job you love, don’t lose friends and have at least some hobby. You cannot sacrifice yourself, your interests, thinking only about creating a family and its well-being. After all, if you are not happy and satisfied with life, your wife and children will not be happy.

Ask yourself a question: why do I want to create a strong family? After all, this is very important! And let's be as frank as possible. You should start thinking about this issue only when you are sexually satisfied. I want to warn you against the situation when, after my eyes, after training, guys fell in love with the first girl they came across with whom they had sex. And they thought that they had finally found their love. No it's not that! You should initially have a lot of girls to choose the one with whom you will further develop.

My point is that if you want your relationship to be built on something deeper, then the primary issues should already be resolved, and not be the foundation. It’s just that, as practice shows, relationships built on sex are very weak.

Some people find their soulmate at work, at school, or just on the street. You can go the way civil marriages, long “meetings”, but never create a strong family. Recently, in my practice, there was even a case when a guy met a girl while driving! It happens.

Your man

In order for a family to be truly strong, you need to find the right person. It must be remembered that appearance financial position and status in society are criteria that can change, they are short-lived. A person can lose all this at any moment. Therefore, initially you must choose the girl with whom you will find it interesting and easy. When a relationship begins, you are just starting to get to know each other. It is important that the girl becomes a family member for you in the future who will support you in difficult situations, will appreciate and respect you.

IN Lately very often men get married quite early. At the same time, the chosen one herself may only be known for a couple of months. You must understand that in the first months of marriage everything will not be simple. And when you practically don’t know a person, it’s twice as difficult. After honeymoon(if there ever was one) begins simple life with ordinary life. And here mutual claims, reproaches and misunderstandings arise.

Money issues, cleaning, cooking, work, car or computer - absolutely everything can become a cause for conflict. During this time you get used to each other. And it is very important not to give up and not give up. Spouses may stop communicating, express dissatisfaction with each other, and go to complain to friends, relatives and acquaintances. This will only cause more problems.

We create a strong family

Would you like to live in someone else's house, which was built according to different designs and different people? Hardly. So why do many wives and husbands allow strangers to build their family, listening to advice and instructions?! If you need help from outsiders, then let it be one person for both of you - a psychologist or a priest - it doesn’t matter, as long as you discuss your problems TOGETHER with your wife and someone else.

Everyone's character is different, so your wife may turn out to be the complete opposite of you. Yes, you need to get used to it, and it takes time. However, this difference can even be very useful. For example, something useful can be learned here in raising children. If you are stricter and your wife is more lenient with the children, then you will reach the golden mean. One parent can slow down the baby, and the other can give him freedom of action. It is very important that your children observe a picture of mutual respect, so it is better to resolve all quarrels and conflicts not in front of the children. They should see only love and harmony.

Your wife must trust you, be faithful and devoted to you. However, you must also give her confidence in herself and tomorrow. There must be fidelity in a relationship, because she will not be able to trust you if she finds out about the betrayal. In such situations, often only the spouse’s patience does not destroy the family. By the way, read the book by American sexologist Chapman, 5 Love Languages. And a lot will become clear to you!

When starting a family, you need to clearly understand all the difficulties and challenges that lie ahead and that need to be overcome. You need to really be prepared for such responsibility. Well, in my opinion the easiest way is

Husband, wife, children - is it always a family? This question is very easy to answer: of course not! Sometimes a family, and sometimes something like a boarding house where they come to eat and sleep. But how a real family differs from the abode of internal strangers is not so easy to answer. How to arrange family life right to ultimately create a happy family? Millions of people on earth are tormented by this problem.

A simple and, it seems to me, very deep thought was expressed by the writer Natalya Stremitina. She states: A family is strong only when a person is respected at home more than outside. Any person - both adults and children. That's when he really perceives his home as a fortress.

One of our major scientists, an academician physicist, once wrote that marriage belongs to self-destructive systems. The wisest thought! The gradual destruction of a family is not an exceptional phenomenon, but a normal one; it falls apart through no fault or malicious intent one of the spouses, but simply because sooner or later everything on earth falls apart.

Do you want to prevent your house from collapsing? Repair it regularly, complete it, rebuild it, adapt it to changes and new situations. If you want to build a family life so that the family does not fall apart. Do not blame each other for all mortal sins, do not panic at the sight of a crack in the wall, but calmly repair it.

Dialogue from the play:

"And I heard that real love- this is when they are suffocated with passion. - No. True love is when one is suffocated by tenderness. Living together requires gentleness, tolerance, and complaisance. But how often do we focus young people on this? Where there!"

A journalist I know, who wrote about the Wedding Palace, once and one day asked ten brides the same question: why are you getting married? Nine girls answered almost identically, something like this: to be happy. The tenth said: to give happiness to her husband"

I'm afraid that out of all ten, she will be the only one happy...

I know a lot of men who have taken place in life and have achieved a lot. And almost all of them are similar in one thing: each has a strong, reliable home. And home for a man is, first of all, a woman. Not a wife, but a mother, or a sister, or a friend. Something that won't change. The one that won't change.

There are many peoples in the world, many customs, but, probably, all people dream of strength and strive for strength.

How to build a family life correctly

The French say: “The coal miner is the master of his own house.” The British express themselves even more clearly: “My home is my fortress.” IN different countries lovers are called “an army of two”: this small army stands back to back against all kinds of worries and misfortunes. Let it be an attic, let it be a basement, let it be a shack, but a fortress!

To arrange family life correctly, remember: even if in the whole world only two people need each other, but an army! Nothing is scary when there is a strong rear behind you, when you are sure that the beaten and wounded will not be abandoned, they will be carried to a shelter, and dragged to the hospital.

Well, what if there is discord, confusion or a fierce struggle for power in the army, if not each for the other, but each for himself? Then, perhaps, there is nothing to count on in life’s battles. Sometimes even experienced, skillful fighters were knocked out of the saddle by petty domestic betrayal.

No, a person cannot live without strength, neither a man nor a woman. But where to look for it? What to grab onto? What to hope for? What is strong in our fairly free family today?

May be, wedding celebration, official ritual, signatures of spouses and witnesses on important documents? Alas, how many of our families are destroyed by the belief in the indelibility of this ink! The lovers are tender and attentive to each other, avoid quarrels - both are afraid of loss.

To arrange your family life correctly, learn to find compromises. Young spouses are another matter - here you can show your character. It seems to both that the hardest part is over, as the athletes say, the game is done - and here it has just begun, and unexpected stunning goals are flying into a poorly covered goal, past the confused goalkeepers...

If you want to build a family life filled with harmony and happiness, remember that all family members are bound by duty. But when the family begins to fall apart, go look for who owes whom and try to collect these debts!

So what can you expect? For love passion? But who can say what margin of safety a passion has? No one knows what kind of force suddenly throws us towards each other, no one knows why a powerful magnet suddenly stops working.

And yet there is something in life that one can safely hope for, that does not change, does not disappear, does not depend on the whims of the body, which, in my opinion, is higher than passion and higher than duty. I'm talking about human relationships.

Millions of people suffer from the fact that passion weakens over time. But nature gave us ample compensation: human relations they get stronger over time. Where they lie in the foundation of the house, earthquakes are not dangerous.

What is a happy family based on?

The family is a small but complex state. All kinds of relationships are possible here: democracy, anarchy, enlightened absolutism, and even, unfortunately, despotism. However, this state is stable under one condition: if its form is adopted voluntarily. There is nothing sadder and more hopeless than a long, exhausting struggle for power.

Someone will probably win in the end. So what - will he be happy? Alas, here, as in Hemingway’s famous book, the winner gets nothing.

To arrange family life correctly, remember: a family is doomed where everyone resentfully and scandalously demands what was not given to them. After all, love is when I take care of you, and you take care of me. Love is not for egocentrics...

The magazine published my love story. There were many letters from readers, about a thousand. A neighbor, a first-year student, helped disassemble them.

Almost every third letter contained a confession: people talked about their problems, doubts, quarrels, breakups. They often asked for advice. The stories were different, the complaints against loved ones were different, the reasons for the disagreements were different.

My volunteer assistant read the letters with her forehead wrinkled and her young lips protruding in concentration.

I asked what she thought about all this. The girl was silent for about five minutes, and then expressed an idea that was extremely unexpected for me, and for her eighteen years old - downright fantastic. Looking over my head, she said thoughtfully and detachedly:

In my opinion, they all need to immerse themselves in everyday life and love each other.

I was taken aback. That is, how - in everyday life? Why - in everyday life? After all, it is known that love and life are irreconcilable enemies, that it is against the damned, murderous life that love boats are broken one after another...

I was ready to bring down all my bewilderments on my interlocutor’s head, but suddenly I remembered that my friend was not alone in her views on love: she had at least one ally, and a rather serious one at that.

Namely, the greatest Russian writer Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy.

Indeed, into what a deep, unkempt way of life the writer plunged his beloved heroine Natasha Rostova from War and Peace. Surely he didn’t wish her happiness! He wished and insisted in the epilogue of the novel that Natasha was happy, and not outside of everyday life, not in spite of everyday life - precisely in everyday life.

The classics are not gods either; it is not at all necessary to agree with any of their statements. But it's always worth thinking about. Don't we ourselves say that love is tested in trials? Don’t we swear to share all the difficulties with our loved one? Don't we strive to take on most of his burden?

Is there a test more difficult, a difficulty more severe, a burden heavier than everyday life? So, maybe this is the true test of love - not just to walk side by side through everyday life, but also to turn its burdens into joys?

Happy is the one who at least once in his life has heard: “I hate washing floors, but in your room...” Or: “I don’t like cutting wood, but for your stove...” Well, what is it anyway? - Love?

If you want to build a happy family life, remember: the eternal “terra incognita”, the unknown land, where every new inhabitant of the planet, whether he wants it or not, is still a discoverer, inevitably Columbus? Maybe art, where everything is inspired? Or is it science, which has its own laws and rules, its own system of research and methods of victory? Perhaps it’s both, and the other, and the third.

The newcomer, for example, is always Columbus. How does he know what's over the horizon? Mainland or shallow, honor or shackles, worldwide fame or death in poverty? The future is closed for the newcomer. Alas, he rarely, almost by accident, stumbles upon his America.

The old saying goes: “First love is always unhappy.” Modern economists in such cases calmly state that this is the price for incompetence. And the fool is Columbus to the grave. Reckless, blind, funny sailor. His tenth ship goes down, and he begins to build the eleventh. Falls in love and falls in love. Well, aren't you a fool?..

And creative inspiration is a great thing in love. Because human relationships are also subject to the laws of art. With inspiration you can create a lot.

After all, how often unrequited love becomes mutual! Is the person lucky? Well, I do not. With his own hands, tears, patience, dedication, he created what he wanted. This is someone worth respecting! After all, it is sometimes more difficult than building a house.

How to create a happy family

Romantics will probably be offended, but love, alas, can also be perceived as a science. Not only “the science of tender passion, which Nazon sang,” but also something simpler, something purely everyday, at the level of elementary arithmetic.

To build a family life correctly, learn simple techniques and methods, it is quite possible to attract attention, arouse passion, jealousy, you can give, take away and give hope again. Sometimes it is possible to hold a simple-minded victim in your hands for quite a long time, deftly controlling his emotional impulses.

Newtons are not needed here, the count is within ten. How to sit down, how to stand up, how to turn away, how not to answer a letter, how to pull up a skirt, how to hug another or smile at another in time... A person who has thoroughly mastered this cybernetics of parties and discos rarely remains unloved: someone gets hit by shrapnel charge on the receiver of the collected charm.

If you want to create a happy family, remember love. He does not remain unloved, but he lives unloved. It is still unknown what is worse. It's a lousy thing to muzzle your own soul all your life... So what is love? The science? Art? Columbus Trail on the water?

It's not a matter of wording, it's a matter of the paths in life that everyone chooses for themselves. Which way is safer - this can probably be calculated. Well, who will live brighter and richer... They say that first love is always unhappy. Are you willing to throw it out of your memory?

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Every day marriages are concluded and new families are created. But family happiness is not given out in the Wedding Palace or after a wedding in the Church, it is built by the spouses themselves - gradually, almost throughout their lives.

Ekaterina Anikina, presenter:

— Hello, dear TV viewers, the “Word” program is on air. Every day marriages are concluded and new families are created. But family happiness is not given out in the Wedding Palace or after a wedding in the Church, it is built by the spouses themselves - gradually, almost throughout their lives. On our website, a huge number of questions are devoted specifically to family and marriage. Doctor of Theology, Vice-Rector for educational work St. Petersburg Theological Academy, Archpriest Vladimir Khulap. Hello, Father Vladimir.

Archpriest Vladimir Hulap:

- Hello.

Ekaterina Anikina, presenter:

— Our dear TV viewers ask: how to create good family- after all, in church bookstores there are mainly publications on how to preserve it?

Archpriest Vladimir Hulap:

- If we are talking about creating Christian family, then, of course, we're talking about first of all, about a certain community of faith and about a certain common understanding of what marriage is. Because for believers, of course, this is a very important step, and this is a step not just in the face of the state, not just in the face of a woman in the registry office, who, on behalf of the state, on behalf of the state, proclaims them husband and wife, but also an important step in the face of God . Because if we look at the Holy Scriptures, we see that the image of marriage runs through the entire Old and New Testament. In the very first chapters of the Book of Genesis it is said that it was God who created man and woman, that it was God who brought Eve to Adam and last book The New Testament - “Apocalypse” ends with a description of the wedding feast of Christ and the Church.

That is, marriage is something so high, so pure and important that it is applied to the relationship between God and the Church, and between God and believers - that is, these are pure and high relations love. Therefore, creating a family is the path to this love, and indeed, very often our relationships at this preliminary stage are and remain only falling in love - when we see some kind of ideal of a person who does not have any negative, negative traits; we consciously or unconsciously create this ideal, cherish it in every possible way, and therefore, of course, before creating a marriage, it is important to understand: what kind of person this really is. Not in terms of just some kind of critical approach to this person, on the contrary, looking for some negative traits, but understanding whether I can trust this person with the most important thing I have - my life and my love. Since marriage is something that, at least ideally, is for Christians for life, therefore I must give myself to the closest, beloved person. Am I ready for this sacrifice - for giving myself, and am I ready to take on just this other person - with all his shortcomings, with all his problems, but at the same time with everything beautiful that is in this person?

In the Book of Genesis, chapter 24 tells of the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah - Isaac, the son of Abraham. And we see in this story two such important points, it seems to me. On the one hand, this is a prayer that this marriage really takes place, this is a prayer to find the right bride, to find the one who, as this text says, “was chosen for him by God,” that is, intended for him by God. But at the same time, this is not some kind of passive waiting, when a young man or his father just sits and waits for some special miracle to be answered to this prayer. We see that they send a servant to another land in order to find a bride for Isaac.

But in this story, no matter how different it may be from our modern realities, we see two important points. On the one hand, marriages for Christians are created by God, therefore, without praying to God that the Lord would arrange this marriage already on the way of their preparation for this marriage; and on the other hand, without in any way denying any of our own human efforts. And indeed, if we believe that nothing happens by chance in life, then in this prayer it is worth looking around us, it is worth looking at those people who are next to us, as those people whom he sends to us God so that something in our lives changes, so that we receive some lessons that will allow us to achieve some greater spiritual growth and so on.

And in such a mood, we can say that there definitely seems to be some person nearby who, sooner or later, will become that messenger, that answer to our prayers that we turn to God. Of course, it is very important that this period of joint recognition includes, it seems to me, certain periods of problems, including critical situations, when a young man and a girl not only walk hand in hand, in some kind of euphoria, but when they will be able to jointly understand how they can respond to these crises. Because it is in a crisis situation that a person becomes who he really is - when all the masks are torn off, when a certain external artificial coating goes away, and a person becomes himself. And the whole family life will consist not only of joys, but also of these problems. And if a young man and a girl are ready to solve problems together, then this is already a certain basis for jointly creating a strong family, since a family is destroyed primarily by problems that young people, especially spouses, do not know how to solve. Some kind of contact on this everyday everyday level leads to the fact that it turns out that it was not love - it was falling in love, it was a feeling that, like the wind, came and went. But in fact, love is not the beginning, and not so much the beginning as the goal of marriage. Marriage begins with falling in love. Love is something that, as a result of daily being together, daily exploits, including family ones, daily giving up big and small of oneself for the sake of another loved one, brings this love - after 5, after 10, after 15 years, but this love is not created by simply flipping a switch. It cannot simply be accomplished or created through certain time- This natural process. Similar to good wine requires certain period endurance, so true love, real family happiness requires a certain and often very, very long period of time, and if young people are ready for this joint work love, then, accordingly, this can and should be thought about during the period of preparation for marriage.

Ekaterina Anikina, presenter:

— What to do if a young man and a girl want to get married, but their relatives are against their union? What is the role of parental blessing in creating a marriage?

Archpriest Vladimir Hulap:

- Indeed, if we look at the pre-revolutionary history of Russia, Rus', we will see that parental blessing was very, very important. Parents blessed their children with special icons for marriage, and these icons, like wedding icons, like family icons, moved from the parents' house to the young people's house, they became, as it were, their home altar, a spiritual center in front of which they performed their prayers. But at the same time, we see that the social situation, and in general the view of the relationship between a man and a woman, the view of marriage, have changed a lot recently, so, of course, now, first of all, the personal aspect is emphasized - relationships young man and girls. That is, not the way it was in ancient times - it is not families who marry, but young people, so it is their responsibility, and it is their decision, so no one can forbid them to do this. And no one, on the contrary, can insist that marriage be concluded in this particular way. Therefore, probably, in order for the situation to be more peaceful, you should just talk calmly with your parents first, and understand what the problem is here, what, perhaps, are the prejudices, and what is this reluctance to enter into this marriage, since , there are indeed a number of prejudices in our society - against marriage, for example, with a person of a different nationality, or with a person who belongs to the wrong social status, as the son or daughter of these parents, and so on.

Often, it seems to me, parents try to realize something in their child’s marriage that did not work out for them in the family. Often, a mother simply does not want to let her daughter go and give her to someone else’s young man, since the mother is left alone. This, to some extent selfish, approach does not allow the daughter to realize herself, does not allow her to achieve the fullness of her own feminine happiness. Therefore, of course, there must be family peace, since, after all, along with marriage, we enter into certain relationships with the relatives of our chosen one, our soul mate, therefore such a peaceful dialogue is the basis for a peaceful marriage. And at the same time, of course, gently, but nevertheless confidently, one can and should say that it is my choice, I should go through life with this person, and parents should give the child, including, and, as it seems to me, the right to error, since this is a child already of age. For example, in the parable of prodigal son we see that the father allows his son to leave home - which was perhaps unpedagogical, and from our point of view not entirely correct - so that the child makes mistakes and returns home with this new life experience. Therefore, if God does not take away a person’s freedom of choice, then even more so the freedom of choice in terms of marriage cannot be taken away from a child by his parents.

Ekaterina Anikina, presenter:

- According to the Orthodox understanding, marriage always means children, but what if the husband and wife are not yet ready to have a child - for example, due to some financial or housing conditions?

Archpriest Vladimir Hulap:

— Indeed, in the system of priorities modern society And modern family Often children find themselves in some very last or penultimate place - after their own housing, car, vacation, certain comfortable conditions, free time, and so on. Of course, children are the purpose of marriage. But this is not the main purpose of marriage, since people marry in order to achieve unity in life. at different levels- on the physical level, on the mental level, on the spiritual level - to achieve this new fullness of being, but a child is the fruit of this marital love, the fruit of marital love. That is, love directed towards each other should not be limited to these two loving hearts. If it is truly full love, joyful love, sacrificial love, it pours outward and the fruit of this love is a child. And therefore, if we look at the order Orthodox wedding, marriage, we see a constant request for children precisely as something that is a gift from God, a special gift that serves the continuation of the human race, and at the same time a gift that gives special happiness to this family.

After all, it often turns out that a woman, yes, has had a career all her life, making money, buying an apartment or some new gadgets, and so on. But we are not getting younger, we are getting old - this is a natural process. There comes an age when everything seems to be already there, you can give birth to a child, but the body is no longer capable of this. And a woman in her twilight years turns out to be successful, a successful entrepreneur, realized in a variety of areas, but not realized in this regard - precisely in the area in which by nature the Lord gave her the miracle and joy of being a mother.

And of course, speaking about all these fears from the point of view of Christianity, we must remember and believe that if the Lord gives a child, then He will certainly give everything that is necessary for the upbringing and development of this child. And only on the parents - not on the size of their income, but on the size and quality of their loving heart - what his life will be like. And the ideal of this life is love, joy and happiness.

Ekaterina Anikina, presenter:

— On such a wonderful note, unfortunately, it’s time for us to say goodbye. Everything is clear to me now, thank you. Dear TV viewers, on our website “slovotv.ru” you can leave any question that concerns you, as well as watch all previous episodes of the “Slovo” program. Thank you for being with us, see you again!

Family is the basis and, at the same time, the main problem modern society. It's no secret that up to 80% of marriages soon break up. The statistics are extremely unpleasant, but quite real. Read and watch videos about how to create and maintain a good, happy family.

It is unlikely that passion can be the key to a strong, stable family. The very definition of passion suggests that it is not normal. Its property is to pass quickly. It rises quickly in such large waves, splashes, and it passes just as quickly.
Passion is a disease, so it cannot be beneficial. Think about it - “mad love”. That is, love is crazy. We don't use our reason. And marriage, paradoxically, is something of convenience.

IN family psychology There is such a thing as readiness for marriage. This is a whole complex of components and criteria that leads a person to the point that he can start a family with this person. People are sometimes afraid that being ready for marriage is too difficult. But in reality there should be a standard.

There is no need to be scared here. We just have to know what to strive for. This is just one of the series of conscious approaches to marriage. If this is not the case, a person begins to move by touch, stumbles, and makes many mistakes.
What are these components?

How to create a happy family

This is sympathy when you say “I like him (she).” Secondly, this is a commonality of interests when we understand that we love the same music, like watching the same programs, reading the same literature, going out into nature, kayaking. And the more of these components on the scale, the more attractive a person is to us.

Then there are deeper things that also need to be taken into account. It is necessary to look at the family, who the person’s parents are. Most often, people project the parental script into the family. This is not to say that this is a 100% reproduction, but it is a template that many people follow.

In addition, you need to take a closer look at family relationships, whether the family is complete, how a man communicates with his mother and father. If something doesn’t work out for him in the relationship, see how he reacts to your comments, whether he can be flexible and listen to your opinion.

You can also see whether a person has many or few friends, find out whether he thinks that we are self-sufficient and we feel good just the two of us. You can't concentrate on each other for long. It happens that he is jealous of his girlfriend’s friends and tries to scare everyone away. Maybe he has communication problems. Then this is a serious reason to think about it. See if he is trying to isolate you, if he is jealous of his friends.

During communication, watch him and yourself. How you behave when you are together, how quickly you are able to reconcile. This is a big rehearsal for your future serious relationship.

We also need to pay attention to the state of health. A woman came to me, who was already about 28-29 years old. For her
It was the discovery after a year of marriage that her husband was unwell. Time passed and she found out about him mental disorder. He says: “He was soft and compliant.” I asked her to name the character traits that a man should have, she listed them in this order: he should be soft, kind, compliant.

Why do people start a family?

Can a woman feel protected when getting married, knowingly incorrectly ranking a number of the main qualities of her chosen one? Unlikely. Women who prioritize such important qualities as: responsibility, masculinity, hard work, etc. are more likely to find themselves next to the owner of such characteristics.

This means that the choice of a spouse was not conscious and did not have a serious approach, because due attention was not paid to such serious factors as: the presence good health and significant human qualities.
Good to stick friendly relations at least within a period of one year. This will be a change of events, seasons (autumn and spring are the most acute periods for the nervous system).

During this time, all character traits may appear or become aggravated and come to light. mental disorders. A year is a defining period. During this period, you can collect information about each other. Find out whether he wants children, how many he wants, who will wash the floors or dishes...

We need to talk about everything! You always need to talk through problems. Questions need to be posed to yourself and to the person with whom you are in a relationship. We can say that this is the most important period in your relationship. Then only the consequences of your choice will appear. And this is where it is important not to misfire, not to make a mistake. It is necessary to assess the ability of both of you to perform all the functions of husband and wife in the family.

I want to create a friendly family

The family has several functions: reproductive (reproduction of children), economic (budget distribution), household (everyone performs a functional responsibility: someone pays money for the apartment, someone vacuums).

That is, who takes what share in building a family. Construction involves seemingly small aspects of family life. In addition, there is a psychological function: they take care of each other, give warmth, understanding.
Another function is educational.

As a rule, men believe that this is the wife’s lot, her front line of work. But the participation of the father is also necessary. Mom sometimes gets hot-tempered when doing the same homework. Father's participation is missing...
Creative function.

At the beginning of a relationship, before the romanticism cools down, they go to the cinema and come up with activities. Then all this stops and is confined to work and home. Everything is boring, bland, monotonous. Leisure is also very important, being able to spend time together. By the way, at the premarital stage of a relationship, you need to watch the behavior of the young man: how he behaves, whether he willingly pays for you.

I heard a story from one girl that it was February, and a young man took her along the boulevard, back and forth. She hints at donuts, and he suggests they go home. You have to look closely at everything so that later it will be a surprise.

A woman functionally strives to ensure that everyone in the family has shoes and clothes. She will demand from the man - give him this, give him that. And if he fights, talks about female commercialism, if he is afraid of this, then you are not on the way.
Psychologist Irina Rakhimova

At the beginning of a relationship, women think about how to create a happy family with their chosen one. Let's look at how to properly build relationships in marriage so that living together brought joy and pleasure to both spouses, and also what mistakes in behavior should be avoided so that life together would resemble happy fairy tale.

Problems that interfere with marital happiness

Let us highlight the factors whose presence prevents the creation of a strong and happy family:

Monotony in marriage, everyday life, excessive routine, busyness at work. These factors negatively affect both spouses and lead to stressful situations, depression, scandals and nervous breakdowns.
Presence of control by the spouses' parents, obsessive behavior younger brothers or sisters - excessive interference of relatives in the family life of the newlyweds leads to reproaches in the couple and divorce.
The lack of joint recreation, which is replaced by individual entertainment with friends, interferes with the development of mutual understanding in a couple.
Differences in interests and annoying hobbies of one of the spouses lead to hidden grievances and scandals.
The lack of former romance and novelty in life together, unspoken grievances, distrust of a partner - each of these factors entails the destruction of family well-being.

In order for harmony to be maintained in the family, remember - the husband must feel care, attention and need for him. These factors, along with the absence of scandals and reproaches, will make the lover want to return home.

Woman's behavior

Let's consider the main criteria for a woman's behavior that will help create a happy family. The most important thing is the manifestation sincere interest towards the other half and the presence of respect - doubts about the correctness of the choice spoil relationships in the family. Also important is the absence of obvious flirting and betrayal, which leads to loss of trust and divorce. Don’t forget about arranging a cozy family nest, supporting your husband in all his endeavors, and recognizing his leadership.

Respect for your spouse's parents - regardless of the relationship between you, never speak badly about the people who raised your chosen one.

Learn to forgive. It is common for everyone to make mistakes, without exception. Look for the reasons for the offense or complete mistake, find the strength to understand and erase the incident from your memory. Affectionate attitude to help your husband achieve happiness in the family.

Follow appearance, figure, availability of manicure, pedicure, haircut and hair removal - these details will help you feel more confident and warm up sexual desire partner. Don't be afraid to experiment in bed - after all, close person, whom you can trust.

Birth of children

The decision to have a child is made by the spouses carefully and thoughtfully - in this case, the child will not be an obstacle to creating strong family ties. If the couple does not understand the seriousness of the issue, does not take into account the financial situation and psychological readiness- addition to the family leads to more frequent scandals, misunderstandings, resentment and, as a result, divorce.

Interesting!

The main rule in creating a happy family is the ability to listen and hear each other.

Advice from psychologists will help you find the answer to the question of how to create a happy family:

Emotional understanding. IN strong marriage, the woman helps her husband, is responsive to requests. Under no circumstances should you ridicule a man’s efforts or blame him for failures - such behavior will lead to the partner becoming withdrawn and the relationship deteriorating. Remember - such responsiveness must be sincere and mutual.
Perception of features inherent in the partner’s character. For balance in marriage, accept your chosen one for who he is.
Cooperation and search for compromises. If controversial situations arise, discuss in pairs the search for an acceptable solution.
Help in achieving success and self-development - joint improvement strengthens marital bonds.
Positive attitude towards life. Negativity pushes away from a partner on a subconscious level. Learn to enjoy the little things and stop being nervous for no good reason.
Organization of housework. Divide responsibilities around the house and don't shift extra work to your loved one.

To make life together resemble a happy fairy tale, the soul is invested in the relationship, and improvement of the family is the joint, constant and painstaking work of a man and a woman on themselves and the family as a whole.