How to build a strong relationship with a man: advice from psychologists.

Ideal relationship. Fiction or reality? Each of us dreams of fairy tales in relationships. But this does not always work out. The question arises, why? All because it is difficult for a woman to understand male psychology. You need to understand that the worldview of men and women is different. You can’t build relationships according to the same templates. So how can we women learn to understand men?

1 A woman should be a mystery!
Every man wants to have a woman next to him, whom he wants to comprehend every new day as the most incomprehensible secret. So that she constantly surprises him with her actions. After all, a man is a hunter by nature and it gives him great pleasure to conquer a woman like a fortress. But you shouldn’t go too far with inaccessibility, because then the man can simply move on to another. 2 The basis of relationships is trust!
Very often girls make one mistake that breaks the whole relationship. Namely, they look for some kind of secret meaning. The question is, why? After all, as a rule, guys are straight as rails people, what they think is what they say. To prevent your relationship from falling apart, leave it to your young man a little personal space. It’s not bad that he will have his own thoughts and secrets. If necessary, he will share with you. 3 Respect for his interests
Opposites attract and that's a beautiful thing. This means that one of the basic principles of relationships is respect for each other’s interests. A man will not stop loving you if he spends some of his personal time on his favorite hobby. You like shopping and gossiping with girlfriends, and he likes the computer and gatherings with friends over a glass of beer. No one can prohibit anyone from communicating with other people. Therefore, try to find common ground. 4 Talk more often
A man gets very sad when he doesn’t find topics to talk to you about. After all, he wants to find in you, in addition to his wife, also a friend. Yes and in family life talking, oh how useful. All misunderstandings will be clarified on early stages and you can avoid many scandals. 5 Be wise
Show your man that he is the boss in your relationship, but at the same time, don’t lose your face. Be the neck that leads the head. 6 Be a woman
This point partly follows from point No. 1. If a woman is like that proverb “I and the horse, I and the bull, I am the woman and the man,” then the man will sit on her neck and hang her legs. Share responsibilities when asking for help, do it in an interesting way, for example, purr like a kitten. A man likes to feel courageous and strong next to you. 7 Pay attention to yourself
Every man wants to see a sweet and attractive girl. After all, the brain of many men works in such a way that: since she takes care of herself, that means she will be a good housewife. But this is one of the essential principles choosing a girl. After all, in principle, to look attractive, special labor no need. Just try not to upset yourself and your boyfriend.

And in conclusion of the above, I would like to add that only two people can achieve harmony in a relationship. You need to work long and productively on relationships. It is impossible to build them alone. Smile at each other more often. After all, a smile is a small happiness. Try to find something new in your loved one every day. And then every day of your relationship will be like a small holiday.

Surprise, inspire your loved one to new achievements and he will answer you in kind.

The program Useful Evening and the topic of the issue: How to build a relationship with a man and the path to female happiness.

Any woman dreams of an ideal, stable relationship that would make her happy, desired, loved and sexy. Of course, to some extent the presence of such ideal relationship depends on your boyfriend, but there is only one person who can make any relationship perfect - it’s you!

Do you think there are no ideal relationships and this is a myth? Not at all. Of course, such relationships are very rare, but they still exist and I’ll tell you even more. If you use our tips, which you will learn below, then you will be able to make perfect.

Be true

One of the most important building blocks of a long, happy and ideal relationship is fidelity. Main sign fidelity is love, so if you are, it means about no love, much less about ideal relationship there can be no question.

Trust each other

You must develop confidence in yourself in every little thing. Groundless jealousy can destroy not only ideal, but any relationship. Do not interrogate your man under any circumstances, do not check his email, SMS, phone calls. You must develop a rule within yourself - to trust him in everything.

Be ready to change

One of the main reasons for separations and divorces is the unwillingness to make concessions and change your habits or change your principles. You must overcome your pride and decide what is more important to you - smoking a cigarette or being happy with your boyfriend.

Spending time together

If you want to ideal relationship, then you should spend more time together. Go on visits together, have breakfast and dinner together, go on vacation together, etc. You should have more "we" than "I". Learn to consult with your significant other, especially when decisions are being made that affect both of you.

Respect your partner's independence

Availability common hobbies and interests are very good, but your partner may also have his own personal interests that you may not share. Therefore, you should not blame him for this. For example, your boyfriend might play poker with his friends every Friday night. They have male company where they can talk about their men's problems and interests. Men require male communication, like women's feminine.

Touch more often

Hug and kiss each other often. It is not necessary to do this only for a reason, but it can be done without a reason. After intimacy lie in his arms, caress your loved one. When you walk down the street, hold hands. When visiting or watching a movie, take his palm and stroke it. Lightly touching your partner throughout the day activates the production of , and also makes you and your boyfriend aware of your closeness to each other.

Regular sex

According to scientists, more than 80% of divorces occur for such a banal reason as lack of sex. And this is, in principle, obvious if sex life does not suit one or both partners, they develop dissatisfaction and disappointment with the current relationship, which over time they will begin to compensate on the side. Make sex a part of your life, just like breakfast or going to the Gym. Find out from your boyfriend how often he would like to have sex and find a compromise solution between your desires and his needs. For example, make yourself a rule - to have sex 2-3 times a week.

Look for a compromise

In any controversial issues try to reach a compromise. Don't make a small problem into a big one. If you cannot reach a compromise solution, then agree that now you make a concession, and next time he will.

Learn to listen

To make your own perfect relationship, you need to learn to listen to your boyfriend. It often happens that during a controversial conversation, people stop hearing each other, defending their point of view, and in the end it all ends in a quarrel and resentment. Therefore, so that there is no unpleasant moments in life, learn to calmly listen to your boyfriend’s arguments and arguments and also calmly present your point of view. The ability to listen perfectly will help you find compromises in any family issues.

Support

Your man should feel that you are his point of support, that you will support him in any difficult situation or when making a difficult decision. If he decides to change his job to a higher paying one, then tell him that you approve of his choice. If he has troubles at work, then reassure him by saying that everything will come to its senses. Mutual support is the key ideal, happy relations. However, support should not be confused with “darling, you are always right.”

Learn to be unpredictable

Over time, couples get to know each other well and become able to predict their partner's actions, behavior, or even thoughts. This may make your partner feel like he has read a book that is already terribly boring, so it is very important for you to sometimes show unpredictability and spontaneity. For example, out of the blue, offer to give him a massage, or instead of swearing at his scattered socks, put them in the wash yourself and tell him: “Darling, your dirty socks were lying here, I put them in the wash.” Your non-standard behavior will re-ignite passion in your relationship, and this is another step towards ideal relationship.

Be tolerant

Each of us has our own shortcomings, but we also have our own advantages. Be tolerant of your boyfriend's shortcomings, ignore them, don't dwell on them, think only about him positive aspects. You must love the whole man, with his strengths and weaknesses. There is such a wise expression - if you cannot change the situation, change your attitude towards it. If you follow this principle, your relationship will become much better and happier.

Surprise

Surprise your loved one, surprise him periodically. Why wait until February 23rd to give him a gift, do it today. It is not necessary to give something expensive; sometimes a kinder surprise is enough to please your soulmate. The most important thing is that you show a sign of attention and love. Or, for example, pick him up from work and take him for an evening walk along the embankment. Remember, even small little things like this can provoke big and strong emotions.

Go on dates

Many people believe that going on dates is the prerogative of couples at the “candy-bouquet” stage of a relationship, and for everyone else, a date is not necessary. This erroneous opinion. To keep your relationship fresh, you should go on dates periodically, at least once a month. It would be ideal if you arrange for each other unusual dates, for example, go bowling, paintball or horseback riding, although a regular trip to a pizzeria or sushi will also have a positive result.

As you can see, to have ideal relationship not much is required. Guided by these some tips, you can turn even the most boring relationships into a standard of ideality. Be happy and love each other.

00:00 5.11.2015

You want to be happy with a man, and this desire is normal. But how to get along with another person? How to find ways to each other and remain yourself? Psychologists Tatyana Vlasyuk and Doris Castillo Mendoza helped us understand these issues.

We all read fairy tales as children. Oh, what love there was! Cinderella and the Prince, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty and (also) the Prince, Vasilisa the Beautiful and Ivan (Fool or Tsarevich - it doesn’t matter). Then we grew up a little, reading to the holes at about 13-14 years old.” Scarlet Sails", where Assol finally waited for her Gray, the multi-volume series "Angelica", "Gone with the Wind", "The Thorn Birds" ...

We sometimes read them at night with a flashlight under the blanket, bursting into tears of delight. And then we dreamed, dreamed, dreamed. Of course, imagining yourself in the place of the main character - what else?! At the age of 16-17 we experienced our first love, largely idealized, not always mutual, bright. Then - the second, the third... We left, left us. The earth shook under my feet, scars remained on my soul. Then, probably, you uttered for the first time mentally or out loud the phrase “all men are ...”. The synonymous series is rich and consists entirely of negative epithets.

It hurt every time, but we still fall in love again - that's life. “But the grass will grow again through all the obstacles and misfortunes. Love is a spring country, because only in it can there be happiness,” sang Larisa, the “dowry girl” in the film “Cruel Romance.” But each of us, saying goodbye to another love (always the last), asked herself Tsvetaev’s question: “My dear, what have I done to you?!”

Let's work on the mistakes. It may be hard to believe, but ideal relationships do exist. It happens, and it can happen to you too. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re just waiting for him, you’ve already met him, or you’ve been together for a long time.

“An ideal couple is two people, a man and a woman, who, being together, remain themselves. They do not play roles, do not lie or manipulate, but appear as they are. And they love this openness and trust both in themselves and in a partner." Our consultants offer several original techniques and tests that will help you understand yourself and delve into relationships with a loved one.

How to meet the right man

Do you think the first thing you need to do is lose weight? But no! You need to start not with the external attributes of beauty, but with working on yourself.

You - the one and only: realize your own worth. When a woman values ​​herself, it’s as if a crown appears on her head. Not arrogance and pride, but the crown of self-love.

It is your quality of love and respect for yourself that attracts the corresponding person, who, by his behavior and attitude towards you, shows how you feel about yourself. Therefore, it depends only on you what kind of man will be next to you.

Let yourself wish

There is the Law of Pure Desire, which states: “As long as we keep our intention pure, a positive outcome is guaranteed. But if we pollute our desire with fear, greed, or the desire to acquire someone else’s, it is unlikely to be realized.”

The Law of Pure Desire has five qualities:

• hope
• inspiration
• faith
• knowing that you deserve the best
• ability to retreat

And a conflict of intentions can prevent your desires from coming true. You want love. But uncertainty and anxiety cool enthusiasm and provoke feelings of fear and anxiety: “What if I do something stupid again, say something wrong, trust the wrong person? What if I fail again?”

Stop. If you want to attract love into your life, you need absolute faith that you deserve it and everything will be fine. In love, it is the firm belief that you can love and be loved.

Use affirmations: “I am worthy of love and respect,” “I can love and be loved,” “I deserve to be loved for who I am.”

Believe me, no matter what happened in the past, no matter what you thought about yourself before, you deserve love. But! To make your wish come true, give up attachment to the result. Be happy here and now, not when you meet the right person. It is very important not to focus on this. Especially when you are 30-35 years old.

In psychology there is such a concept as “closing gate panic”: I have to give birth to a child, and I have to get married - I’m late! This panic attracts into life something completely alien to you. You cannot allow yourself to despair or fuss; you need to clearly understand what you want and what you deserve. You can’t live your life constantly thinking about how to attract a man. This state repels with the same force as it attracts.

One hundred percent pleasure

“The most correct state in which a woman needs to be is to simply enjoy life, herself, her mood. After all, according to Gabriel Garcia Marquez, all the most beautiful things happen unexpectedly, when we do not expect it. This state is the correct one.

Don't pull everyone towards you mental powers, and enjoy! The same person will come to a woman’s enjoyment of herself and life. As soon as you start devoting enough time to yourself, doing what you love, what you like - going dancing, traveling, reading, listening to music, learning something new, interesting and interesting people appear around you. worthy people, life gives you gifts and new acquaintances,” our consultants are sure.

And, you must agree, you don’t need large financial resources to stay in such a state. Start doing what you have wanted for a long time, but never had the time.

“It is important for a woman to learn to be happy alone with herself, on her own, then she will be happy with a man. The mistake we often make is tying our happiness to a partner or an event that will happen someday.”

The world's reaction to you reflects your inner state.

All mans…

I remember the joke: “The biology teacher cried and called the pistils horned artiodactyls.” So here it is. Try to forever exclude from your vocabulary phrases (and thoughts) like “all men ...” and further along the negative synonymous series.

“To attract the right partner, you need to understand and respect each of the men around you. Learn to look at the person you meet and see something good in him, don’t judge masculine as such.

Don't judge, don't neglect, don't blame. Take it!

Enter this state and your partner will be attracted to you high level. You will send completely different signals, project yourself differently. The result is that the man in your life will occupy right place", says Tatyana.

Let's enjoy the wait

This technique will help you attract the right man into your life. Practice it a couple of times a week. Choose a calm and quiet place in your home, sit or lie down, and relax. Take deep breaths and exhale several times. Feel the stress and tension sink into the floor beneath your feet. You feel warm, calm and serene.

On your next breath, imagine that five years have passed and you and your loved one are in a pleasant place. Maybe the two of you are sitting at a table in a cozy restaurant, maybe in bed. Stop for a minute and pay attention to what you are doing now - the details.

Are you married? Do you have children? Take a breath and feel the joy of this scene. Your dream has come true. You are close to your soulmate, you love each other. Let this reality fill your heart and mind. Imagine looking into his eyes and remembering what you were doing just before you met him.

Now remember the present moment again, leaving this joyful state with you. Remember that by promising yourself to make the most of every day, you have already connected with your loved one in your mind. Just as you prepare yourself for his appearance, so he prepares to meet you.

Take your last and deepest breath, and as you exhale, fold your arms to your chest. Slowly open your eyes.

Then take the time to write down the things you would really like to reminisce about with your partner, and commit to yourself to start creating those experiences right now. There is a chance that the ideas came to your mind for a reason...

Relationships at the start

You met a man. Everything is just beginning for you. Are you tormented by vague doubts? Then read on.

Time magazine, together with CNN, conducted a study. The results revealed that women are more likely than men to reject marriage or intimate relationships while waiting to meet someone else. The Ideal Man. And men tend to forgive a woman more if they like her appearance. But we women judge harshly and quickly. Are we winning? In fact, there are no ideal ones in nature. The ideal partner for you is the one with whom you feel as good as possible. And the first sign is when partners are comfortable in any situation. Even be silent.

I accept you...

On initial stage relationships, it is important to help yourself, new relationships. How? Agree: “Let’s accept each other as we are. If you snore, that’s okay. I’m slurping. We’re people...”

Tell yourself: “I accept my partner as a person.”

Difficult? Do one more exercise. Divide a sheet of paper in half. On the left, write what annoys you about him, what infuriates you, and on the right - everything that “turns you on”, and likes, and supports, and inspires you in him.

Look - what is actually more. And give an honest assessment - are you ready to accept this minus, looking at this plus? And what else do you need to work with to make this minus less? After all, as soon as a sock forgotten under the bed stops annoying you, it miraculously evaporates somewhere. A man can change.

Speaking of princes

“Very often, many of those who are waiting for a prince on a white horse overly idealize a man. This attitude is instilled by mothers in their daughters, because girls like fairy tales and movies about ideal relationships. They begin to live in this world and then find it very difficult to find a life partner,” - Doris remarks.

It is important to understand and realize that a man, just like a woman, can be different, ideal in some ways, not ideal in others. Allow yourself initially the possibility of being imperfect. If a woman has ideality syndrome, then she is very demanding of herself, she tries to be perfect, and wants the same ideal partner. But it may not even exist in nature.

“An idealistic woman should relax, enjoy life, allow herself to express herself in different ways, and not meet standards.

In the same way, a man - he can be better than the norms that you came up with for him. In order to figure this out, you can also sit down and pee. What is my ideal for me? How important, critical and fundamental are all these points that I wrote down for me? Fundamentally - blond with blue eyes? Where there is categoricality, there is no longer freedom. Or maybe fate has already prepared for her a brunette with brown eyes"- adds Tatyana.

By the way, where are your wings?

Is this the same man? The answer to this question lies in the realm of intuition.

But. He is not yours if, some time after the start of your communication, you begin to feel a loss of strength. Inspiration and vital activity disappear, and quarrels and showdowns suck all the vital juices out of you. If this is grinding in, it’s not scary, because in moments of intimacy, when everything is good, partners fill each other with energy. But if there is no filling, only a constant release, a leak of energy, this is not your relationship.

On the contrary, if you feel that your wings are growing, if they compliment you on how you look younger, how cool you look, this is an indicator that your man is next to you.

Together for life

You have been a couple for a long time, the honeymoon is over. How can two realized people learn to coexist together?

When an accomplished woman meets an equally self-sufficient man, the question of compatibility of freedoms arises. Everyone is used to their own limited schedule, expressing their opinion, no one wants to obey - how to find them mutual language? That's the question!

And I love looking out the window!

The first recommendation for those who are already a couple, at first glance, is simple. You need to sit down and over a cup of tea or coffee, without pretensions or any reproaches, tell each other what you like to do. But it’s easier to write lists: what each partner likes and doesn’t like.

Divide a piece of paper in half. One half is what you like, the second is what you really don’t like, what’s not yours, what you don’t like, what upsets you, brings discomfort, what upsets your other half, what makes you sad. A man and a woman write lists, then the two of them discuss them.

“I love it when you bring me coffee in the morning,” “I love it when you come home from work and tell me “Hello, mouse!” - maximum details!

The couple writes down the details of their relationship, looking through the last few years of life, to the maximum: “I love it when you water the flowers,” “I love to sit in the kitchen and be silent, looking out the window, when you respect it and don’t touch me.”

First we discuss who likes what, then the second column. “If you say that I’m inattentive, it hurts me, I get upset,” “I don’t like going to visit relatives “just for show,” “,” I don’t like pulling your socks out from under the bed.”

The task is for each partner to enter into a state of introspection as deeply as possible, think slowly, allocate at least an hour or two of time for this, and create a suitable atmosphere.

The demand “I love this, that means you do this to me, otherwise you will be guilty” is unacceptable. The conversation should not proceed in the direction of presenting claims against each other. “You know”, “it turns out”, “it seems to me” - this is a set of phrases. This work is an investment in yourself, in your relationships.

And on Saturdays we have dflop

“The second technique is family rituals. It is designed to help each other experience more states that they like. We recommend that women take the initiative to organize all this,” says Tatyana. “You can arrange a week of a certain country, a week of state: generosity, gratitude ( a week thanking each other for all the little things) or a week without comments - no matter what the husband does.”

This technique is very helpful in getting to know your partner. It seems to us that if we live together for a long time, then our partner knows what we love and what we don’t, just like us, by default, but he may not even know about it!

After all, most people are not telepaths at all! We also recommend going to concerts, movies, visiting together sporting events, play "mafia" with friends, run together, cook dinner - not spontaneously, but on certain days, so that there are things that will later be called family traditions, the traditions of the couple, what they do only together.

One of the recommendations is to keep a book of funny moments and joint jokes. Some things that make both of them happy. For example, if you pulled out a phrase from a movie you watched together and remembered it, write it down in a book. Or start a game like this: “When we say this phrase, we mean this” - you can play this way, for example, at a party.

In the film "What Men Talk About" - "diflop" - there is such a dish, one word, one phrase, and how much is behind it! For example, a wife is going to cook something unusual for dinner and calls the dish “diflope”. It is exquisite, there is very little of it - hence - diflop. Little things like this turn into family jokes.

You can watch movies together, pull out phrases from there and apply them to situations in family life, phrases that will mean something, dilute daily life and bring an element of play into it. “We’re approaching the end of the month, we’ll eat diflop - it’s not enough, it’s expensive.”

And if you touch sexual relations in pairs, in order to somehow renew them, you can also use ritual techniques. For example, every Saturday, take a bath together with candles and music. Or make a silk bed on Saturday, for the whole weekend...

Touch me with your hand

Another powerful technique for a couple who have been together for a long time is to choose a week and only touch, kiss, caress each other - and not have sex. It's called the Sensory Waiting Technique. We take a bath together, dry each other with a towel, rub our backs, but no further.

After this, if the couple is really together, feelings become more intense. Feelings appear honeymoon- you touch each other as if for the first time. Men like it too, this state of foreplay, a certain expectation. By nature, a man is a conqueror, and he is interested in doing this again and again.

Rewind the film

Is there development in your couple? Rewind the film five years, ten. Then you were alone, now you are different. This development should reflect on you - on internal state, on some material values, increasing positive attitude, improving mutual understanding.

If you have lived a certain amount of time together, and you remember losses, illnesses, problems, conflicts - this is also a marker of how correctly you chose your partner, how harmoniously you developed, and whether you are a couple at all. In fact, development is possible without these negative aspects and serious disasters. If life sends them, it means we don’t see or understand something.

It is possible to develop more environmentally friendly. Nobody says that it will be calm and smooth, but nevertheless living together maybe for fun, with real interest, and not jumping from scandal to reconciliation.

Excessive emotional swing- the first indicator that something is wrong in the couple. Even at the very beginning of a relationship.

Maybe big strong love, but if she is too bright, with jealousy, quarrels - this alarm signal. “When a person tries to control and manipulate another, this is not love, but an artificial attachment to oneself. It is important to understand: as soon as we catch ourselves in a state of jealousy, something is wrong in the relationship,” Tatyana is sure.

The more freedom we give our partner, the more ideal we are for each other. There is no need to be afraid to let go internally loved one and allow him to do as he chooses. It’s so nice to realize that this person wants to be with you according to his own sincere and free desire, and not because he is being held by the throat.

If a man pays attention to you, gives you some gifts not because he “has to,” for show, but because he just wants to please you, appreciate and take care of this attitude.

“If a man wants to take you somewhere, let’s go. If he offers something, we agree. Follow him! There’s no need to say that it’s expensive, it’s not necessary, and “I don’t like football at all and I don’t understand.” If an impulse arises, it cannot be stopped There may not be a next one. By accepting the other person’s initiative, you can build an ideal relationship,” Doris is sure.

Photo in text: Shutterstock.com, Depositphotos.com

Love is beautiful, love is amazing, love is the best thing on this planet. But love is still a bitch. A - hard daily work.

After these words, older people will nod in agreement, and young lovers will plug their fingers into their ears and recite the film “Three Meters Above the Sky” by heart.

What can you do to make your relationship last as long as possible? Myths about love sound attractive, but what to do in reality if you want to maintain ardent feelings for life?

It's amazing that everyone asks how you got married. No one asks how you managed not to get divorced.

It turns out that research has even been conducted on this topic. Their results can be adopted and put into practice.

Online dating doesn't work

If you want to find ideal partner using some kind of computer algorithm or are going to consider the profiles of only those who have words familiar to you written in the “Interests” column, then you are doomed to failure in advance.

After all, research says: similar interests do not have a significant impact on relationships. The combined results of 313 separate studies show that your mutual love of movies won't help your marriage last longer. In 2010, the level of satisfaction of spouses was studied. It turned out that the same interests of partners do not affect this indicator in any way.

When we want to meet a copy of ourselves and live happily ever after, we make a big mistake.

Real life is completely different. Marrying someone just because he or she also likes to listen to Radiohead and cry is pretty stupid. Your compatibility affects only 1% the duration of your life together.

Problems arise for any couple. The point is how exactly you will deal with these complexities. In other words, it's not how you feel that matters. What matters is how you feel about your feelings. You need to find someone who expresses their emotions the same way you do.

Washington University professor John Gottman has presented strong evidence that this influences how long a marriage lasts. The way you behave creates an emotional template, which forms the common space of existence of the couple.

What you should be concerned about is not getting your partner to love Scarlett Johansson's acting. By choosing a spouse, you automatically get his problems. The only thing you should care about is how to build relationships in such a way that there are as few conflicts as possible.

Arguing is good

You can swear even over little things. Seriously, this is completely normal.

Scientists believe that couples who fight more often than others over the most insignificant things live a long and happy life. On the other hand, those couples who fight only over the most serious reasons are more likely to get divorced.

Of course, you shouldn't argue on the first date, but research says that if you've spent three years together and barely fought, you're probably on the verge of divorce.

Scientists believe that swearing and arguing are a way of showing feelings. Without them, your relationship becomes unhealthy.

You could say that Romeo and Juliet never argued. There is an answer to this too.

Romeo and Juliet are a bad example. Consider an arranged marriage

Romeo and Juliet did not fight because William Shakespeare decided to kill them long before the first conflict. This couple symbolizes so well romantic relationship only because she didn’t live to see the quarrel over unwashed dishes.

Passion is fast, captivating and easy. But relationships are love, work and labor. Instead of taking the example of Romeo, who instantly fell in love with Juliet for life, succumbing to the influence of dopamine, think about those whose marriage was arranged.

Arranged marriages are very difficult for both partners at the very beginning. But since there is nowhere to escape from the submarine, both are trying to work on what they have. Research confirms that arranged marriages are much more successful than marriages for love.

Of course, no one is advising you to enter into an arranged marriage. But it’s worth learning from these people. They cast illusions aside, realize that there is a lot of work ahead of them, and, rolling up their sleeves, begin to work on relationships.

Anything that leads to success in life will help you achieve success in marriage.

We talk so much about what needs to be done to achieve success in school or life. This will all work in relationships. Do you want your partner to be faithful to you? Devoted? Be firm. Girls, look for strong, confident guys. Men, pay attention to those women whose opinions do not change depending on the direction of the wind or the weather.

It is the firmness that helps us in life that is responsible for the ability to work on complex tasks for a long time. Why is this important for relationships?

Researchers say that toughness helps you cope with circumstances and problems. And in marriage, problems always arise. Those who cannot solve them give up and quit relationships, jobs, and stop building a career.

Love won't last on its own. Feelings remain hot and passionate only because people work at it.

Is it possible to predict long-term relationships?

Can. To do this, you just need to ask the couple about their relationship. Yes, it's that simple.

Psychologists from the University of Washington found that the way partners describe their relationship can predict whether they will get divorced or not with 94% accuracy. You just need to pay close attention to how spouses talk about their past together.

BADLY: We had a fight. It was terrible. To be honest, Oleg behaved disgustingly.

FINE: We had a fight. It was terrible. But we discussed this later. We seem to get along even better now than before.

Every couple faces problems. The only difference is how you are going to perceive and interpret your experience. You know, it doesn’t take much intelligence to say that a quarrel is bad and Oleg is a fool. But you need to put a lot of effort into learning to appreciate not only good moments, but also bad ones, to make the most of even conflicts and problems.

No one is happy running the twentieth kilometer of a marathon. But if you stop and don’t reach the finish line, you definitely won’t be happy. The taste of victory and champagne is what will make the moment truly enjoyable.

Let's sum it up

• Similar interests won't help. Identical playlists will not become the basis good marriage. It's worth starting to focus on emotions.
• Arguing can be useful. Negative communication is better than no communication.
• A lot of work awaits you. And there is no escape from it. Don't look at Romeo and Juliet. Learn from the experience of arranged marriages.
• Be firm. Devotion. Honesty. This is what it means to be firm. This is the key to success at work and in love.
• Be grateful for difficulties. Tell your story, full of ups, downs and happiness from the fact that you experienced it all together.

Ideal relationship - the dream of every guy and girl, but how to build them and create them in real world, not everyone knows. After all, to build a relationship, you need to find a suitable soul mate who will love you, and you will love her. In fact, most girls and guys have problems creating relationships, since they cannot find their happiness and live with him or her all their lives.

In this article, psychologists will help you understand how to build an ideal relationship in real time, what you need to do for this and how. After all, they appear only when love is created between a couple. Follow the advice, and perhaps you will find your happiness in this life.

First, find the person you want to build a relationship with

First, in order for you to have an ideal relationship, you need to find the person you love, since it is impossible to create ideal and a good relationship not for love. Trust your feelings, not your emotions, this will solve some problems with creating relationships.

Don't rush to create serious relationship, live together and start a family until you know each other well enough. On average, it takes 3 years for a temporary attachment to go away. If after given period feelings remained the same or increased even more, then you can safely create a serious relationship and family.

There must be common goals, views and interests

To create and, between a guy and a girl there must be not only feelings and love, but also common interests, goals and views on life. They must fill each other with something. Help each other, but do not try to change or put pressure. There should be ease in relationships and freedom, then you will understand exactly what you need for each other, simple meetings or a serious relationship. Find out: because this is the result of an incorrectly created relationship.

Keep loving

Even if feelings gradually worsen or improve, you need to continue to love if you want to be with this person. In any case, feelings will gradually fade away, but you always need to love one single person. If feelings begin to fade, do whatever you need to do to preserve them. Do everything as you did before to love each other. Give gifts, attention, walk together, study common affairs, communicate.

Determine benefit or love in your relationship .

In order to build, it is advisable to decide at the initial stage whether they are being created for profit or out of love. As you know, girls are more likely to look for rich guys and because of this, some problems arise in the future. It's not about wealth, as there are many families where a rich man lives with a woman for love, and not for money. Decide what the girl needs is a relationship or your money. It is advisable not to show how rich you are at all at the initial stage of the relationship. It’s better to create relationships while still a simple person.

It all depends on the place where you met

The main role in building an ideal relationship is played by the place where you met. For example, if in a club, then your relationship is unlikely to be serious, but not always. If you met by chance, then perhaps fate itself pushed you to find each other. Look for a girl or guy where you like to be. This will allow you to find the person with whom you share common interests. For example, if you are an athlete and like to go to the pool or the gym, you can find your favorite girl there and fall in love with each other. Common interests will allow you to maintain ideal relationships long years. The main thing is not to deceive yourself and continue to go where you like.

The main thing is not to rush

The mistake of many is that they are afraid that they will be left alone, so they rush, quickly meet each other, get married, and eventually end up getting divorced from unhappy relationships. Their mistake led them to even greater loss of time. Why rush to start a family if you can just communicate, go for walks or live together, even for 3 years, and then think about family. Age doesn't solve anything. Some are destined to find their destiny early, others late, and those who go against fate end up back where they started. There is no need to rush, but there is no need to close yourself off from acquaintances and communication.

Look for a girl or guy who is similar to you in character

It is often said that opposites come together, but they also quickly diverge, as quarrels and conflicts begin. It is not necessary to have the same characters; for an ideal relationship, it is enough to have common views on life. If a person has one point of view and is not going to ever change it, there is no need to put pressure on him, let him go, as you will constantly quarrel over disagreements.

Look for a man who is ready for a serious relationship

In the real world it's really not that simple build an ideal relationship, since the majority still want to go for a walk even at a considerable age. People who still like to go out to clubs and drink will never be loyal to you. They will cheat and deceive. This does not mean that you need to look for that person who sits at home and does not go out. You just need to find a person where you yourself often go. Since, having created a relationship, you will walk together in these places, even in the same clubs. Cheating often occurs due to the fact that the guy or girl hasn’t played enough and wants to hang out some more, even if they already have a family and children. Find out: often to do this you just need to remain a man.

You yourself will be able to understand whether it is possible to build with a given person or not, if you simply meet and be friends for several years. It’s pointless to take risks and start a family with someone you don’t know well. Ideal relationship- this is a great desire of both parties, because if a guy or girl doesn’t want a relationship, you won’t force her.

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