Is it possible to punish children with a belt - Expert opinions. Is it possible to hit a child's bottom? Physical and psychological consequences of corporal punishment

Parents constantly wonder whether it is necessary to apply to children physical punishment? Psychologists and doctors are discussing this topic today, and the state is trying to protect children from aggressor parents. If you are also raising a child, then you have probably encountered difficult situations, when you really want to use the strap. This happens to everyone, but not everyone is able to resist. “Popular about health” invites you to figure out why you shouldn’t hit children on the butt, arms and head. Why are physical punishments dangerous? What impact will they have on the younger generation in the future?

Why parents are ready to pick up a belt?

Even the most loving and loyal parents often simply cannot restrain themselves from spanking the tomboy. Their feelings can be understood - little “testers” taste everything, test their strength, exposing themselves to danger. Beginning with three years old, children are already able to show their character, they can be stubborn, obstinate, rude, and some are completely uncontrollable. Adolescence is also difficult. At this time, boys and girls are generally more susceptible to the influence of their peers; their parents’ word means almost nothing to them. If you try to give advice, you can run into rudeness. Teenagers often manipulate feelings, show selfishness and are prone to maximalism. It can be difficult for mom and dad to cope with such difficulties. This is why it occurs desire spank the child. But is this the only reason for aggression? No, often their root lies deeper:

1. Fathers and mothers beat their offspring because they themselves were raised to be aggressive.

2. Adults take out their anger and their complexes and failures.

3. Parents do not have time for quality education and long conversations with their child.

4. Moms and dads simply don’t know how to approach their children.

5. Adults are mentally unstable, they need an emotional shake-up and use the child to satisfy this need.

Contrary to the belief that only alcoholics show aggression towards children, statistics indicate the opposite - completely sane mothers and fathers also beat their children. Why shouldn't you touch children?

Why you shouldn’t beat children at all – a psychologist’s opinion

Hitting children is dangerous not only because it can harm their health, but also for other reasons. Aggression can lead to mental disorders in children and adolescents. In the future, they will grow up insecure, weak and dependent on the opinions of others. Such people are unlikely to succeed. So, let's discuss in detail the consequences that corporal punishment of children will lead to:

1. Physical punishment of a child is an interference in his personal space, and an unwanted one. By using spankings and belts, mother and father prevent the formation of a valuable skill - the ability to defend the boundaries of one’s own space, one’s “I”. In the future, such a child, upon becoming an adult, will be too dependent on the opinions of others.

2. Aggression from relatives negatively affects the formation of trust in others.

3. Using physical force on children humiliates them and deprives them of their feelings. self-esteem, which means that subsequently they will not be able to objectively evaluate themselves and will not learn to show initiative and perseverance.

4. Toddlers and teenagers learn aggressive behavior looking at moms and dads. In the future, they will solve their problems in the same way.

5. Faced with cruelty at home, as children grow up, they will subconsciously choose a life partner who will show aggression towards them.

We looked at how parental aggression affects psychological condition their children. Now let's see what harm moms and dads can cause to children physically if they use force on them.

Why you can't spank your butt hard?

Blows delivered to the “soft spot” only seem harmless. Even if you don’t hit with full force (note that it is quite difficult to control yourself in the heat of anger), you can damage the baby’s kidneys, which are located just above the buttocks. With a little miscalculation of effort, a father or mother can cause internal bleeding in a defenseless baby or damage lower section spine.

Why can't you hit children's hands too??

Even simple slaps on the hands for the fact that the baby climbs into the socket or puts it in his mouth dangerous items, may cause harm. The hands are closely connected with the speech center. It’s not for nothing that children are recommended to develop fine motor skills for speech development. Hitting hands means causing problems with the speech apparatus. Therefore, you cannot hit children on the hands!

Why don't they hit a child on the head??

The head is the most weakness. The skull of babies is still quite soft and vulnerable. Even a slight push or blow can lead to serious consequences - disturbances of the optic nerve, speech center, memory, problems with associations and logic may arise. Hitting someone on the head is extremely dangerous and can lead to disability. For the same reason, you should not hit children in the face. Even shaking a child by the shoulders can lead to damage to the baby’s brain - rupture of cell membranes and vascular walls. The consequences of such actions are sad:

Loss of vision or hearing;
Epilepsy;
Mental retardation;
Paralysis;
Speech disorders.

That is why you cannot “knock” on the head in any way.

It is absolutely forbidden to beat children, even if you do not have the strength to tolerate their antics. It's better to stop for a minute and leave the room to calm down, and then talk. Use punishments in the form of deprivation of pleasures - cartoons, sweets, communication with peers (for a teenager), but do not use force.

There are no parents who did not punish their children. After all, sooner or later, all adults are surprised to notice that their cheerful and sociable baby becomes aggressive, disobedient and irritable.

Is it possible to beat children for educational purposes?

Let's try to understand the issue that worries parents and causes a lot of controversy.

Raising in early childhood influences the formation of personality, lays down the main character traits, instills negative or positive qualities.

Difficulties in raising a child usually arise during periods age crises, when parents become acquainted with the little person’s desire for activity and unwillingness to put up with prohibitions.

What difficulties do adults face during the development of their children’s personalities?

Children learn with inspiration the world, assimilate a lot of new information and try to figure out what can and cannot be done, trying to achieve independence.

Naturally, this path will be difficult and thorny, because kids are learning about the world empirically. They want to know everything, reach everything, touch everything. And when adults try to stop them from doing this, they begin to actively resist, expressing their emotions in anger, crying and hysterics.

In such a situation, even the most patient and loving parents. After all, the child often does not react in any way to numerous persuasion and requests. And if adults are in a bad mood, then the desire to hit will definitely appear.

What to do and how to raise disobedient children?

Some parents argue that raising children with a belt will only bring benefits, arguing that they were also beaten in childhood, and this helped them become good people.

Others, remembering that they showed cruelty, try to make amends: they indulge all the child’s whims without punishing them for misdeeds.

Both of these positions are fundamentally wrong.

Desire to hit

Often parents, faced with the disobedience of their children, call them difficult to educate, and are absolutely sure that they can only explain something to them by shouting and using force. Adults do not give their children any independence, believing that it will lead to even bigger problems.

However, if you analyze in detail almost any case where a child was punished with a belt, it will become obvious that the beatings were caused not so much bad behavior A child is as bad as an adult!

The educational process does not know days off and has no vacation. And, naturally, parents can also be in bad mood, tired, feeling bad. During these periods, as a rule, the reasonable arguments of adults end, and they take the belt.

Of course, children too different tempers and temperaments. Therefore, one baby will obey faster, while the other will be stubborn to the last. Such stubborn people are called difficult children.

Upbringing difficult child- a complex and responsible task that requires parents to have maximum patience and self-confidence.

So why shouldn't you hit children?

Yes, a baby who has been spanked on the bottom will not suffer much. Physically. However, the mental trauma from humiliation and resentment will remain for life.

A beating, be it a heavy slap on the head or a spanking, is humiliation for a child who not only is, but also feels like a full-fledged person. If the punishment happened in front of other people, the humiliation reaches its peak.

The child's self-esteem is low and self-esteem disappears. The worst thing in this situation is that the baby is weaker and therefore cannot give back, respond to this humiliation. He comes to the conclusion that beatings are an integral part of his life.

The consequence of this is the occurrence of some mental abnormalities:

• The kid is afraid of everyone who is older and stronger than him. He withdraws into himself, not trusting anyone, showing lack of independence and uncertainty.
• Children are vindictive and remember insults. This revenge may result in further disobedience. Or he may remind himself in adulthood, when his offspring begins to raise his elderly parents in the same way as they did in childhood.
• A child who is constantly beaten at home does the same to other children, showing constant aggression.
• Being in adolescence, the young man will begin to behave aggressively with others, remembering main lesson childhood: the one who is stronger is right.
• Appearance psychological trauma which may appear at an older age.

The baby will quickly get used to beatings and will perceive them not as punishment, but as everyday activities. Naturally, he will not have any thoughts about what he was punished for.

Education, not training

Man has a mind. Small man not an exception. And if parents had to deal with disobedience, the first thing they should do is find out why the child behaves this way.

For example, if a child breaks an expensive phone, he might want to know how the phone works. He sincerely does not understand why his parents are trying to interfere with his independence. In this case, you need to explain to the baby that information can be obtained not only experimentally.

Of course, if a child has misbehaved, he should be punished. However, there are many other ways to do this besides beatings. Let's look at some of them.

1. Anything that does not pose a threat to the life and health of the baby should not be prohibited. If he wants to make soup, don't interfere with his independence. And it doesn’t matter that you will then have to clean the kitchen and throw out the inedible brew. Your child is learning about the world. Don't bother him.

2. If the baby is interested in a socket or other dangerous things, it is enough to switch his attention to something else. The method of switching attention is very effective in stopping children's tantrums and protest.

3. You need to talk to the child. Calmly and confidently present information about why certain actions or objects are dangerous.

4. If, upon entering the room, you see your child preparing to plug a knitting needle into a socket, there is no need to scream loudly and become hysterical. Approach him quickly and calmly and explain the consequences of his actions.

5. Don't bully your child. Moreover, as a rule, parents do not carry out threats. “If you behave badly, the policeman will take you away!” Such behavior will cause distrust of his parents (after all, his uncle, the policeman, never took him away) and fear of government officials.

6. Most important rule What parents should remember is that the baby must not only be loved, but also respected.

No one knows your child like you. Therefore, there are no techniques that would unconditionally suit everyone. However, parents must remember that what your child will become in the future depends on how you parent today. And don’t forget that children are a reflection of our good and bad deeds. Therefore, you need to educate yourself first.

Usually parents oppose any violence against children, but, unfortunately, only in words. It’s not uncommon to see how yet another child on the playground in the yard receives a heavy slap on the bottom from an angry mother. Why is this happening? Why do parents think that it is possible and necessary to beat their children?

In fact, they don't think so. There are simply moments when a child begins to show his character, but words cannot calm him down. This is where breakdowns occur. After just a few minutes, the parents realize that they did the wrong thing, that they shouldn’t have hit the child on the bottom. Some even feel ashamed. Another promise to never hit a child again sounds in my thoughts. But, I repeat, only in my thoughts. Another child's prank one way or another ends with a traditional slap on the bottom or, much worse, with a belt.

Let's not talk about whether it's okay to hit children with a belt. I consider this question rhetorical. Showing your strength to the weak and defenseless is not the best The best way self-affirmation. Ask yourself one question - are you sure that you can control yourself and not lose your temper over the baby? In most cases the answer will be no.

Indeed, it is very difficult to cope with your emotions when you try with all your might to explain something to another person, but he does not hear or understand you. But you shouldn't use force. This is not an option. Where is the way out?

Let's do this - you no longer ask yourself questions about whether children should be beaten. The answer is negative and cannot be appealed. It is forbidden! Never!

I suggest presenting one picture. Your baby is starting to act up. You are trying to explain to him that it is not good to do this, but he does not understand you, he does it in his own way. When your nerves are already at their limit, stop for a couple of seconds, do not rush to hit the child. Close your eyes, inhale, open your eyes, exhale. Look at the little man standing in front of you. Now imagine that you are this little defenseless child. The most dear and beloved person stands in front of you, you have no one closer and... He looks at you with anger and irritation, he wants to hit you, hurt you. You can't defend yourself. No one can protect you because you have no one who can do it. How do you feel at this moment? Offense? Disappointment? Bitterness? What? (Think about this at your leisure.) Now return to reality. Look carefully into your child's tear-stained eyes. Do you still want to hit him?

In the end, even scientists confirmed that a baby who was hit on the bottom in childhood grows up more cruel and angry than a child who grew up in a calm and friendly environment. Think about what you want your child to be like in 20-30 years?

If you want to be a friend to your baby, don't hit him. You are an adult! Can't you find a peaceful way to calm down the little naughty boy? Every time you want to hit your child on the butt, do what we did just above. Always put yourself in the child's place! This will help you avoid many conflicts. Plus - I guarantee that after reading this article and following the recommendations given here, 90% of parents will finally give themselves an answer to the question - is it possible to beat children and is it necessary to do it?

Many parents argue on this topic, psychologists defend dissertations, debating the same question for years: “To hit or not to hit?” Let's weigh the pros and cons so that we can make an acceptable decision in each individual family.

To competently raise your children without violence, you need to be at least a professor of psychological and pedagogical sciences. Of course, if you have the time and energy to find an alternative to a belt, your child will be perfectly behaved without a single spank. But you shouldn’t take these arguments as an axiom and beat own child for any reason.

Is it possible to hit a child?

Firstly, even a weak spank can affect the baby’s health and you will never forgive yourself for this weakness. Yes, precisely weakness, because it is precisely those people who give up their hands who do not have convincing means to prove that they are right in a peaceful way. Secondly, if assault is the norm in the family, do not expect that when you grow old, your grown child will be gentle and loving friend. How can you avoid getting a “retaliatory strike”.

Aggression towards children on the part of parents, it forces children to withdraw into themselves, to experience problems within themselves, without sharing with loved ones for fear of being punished. Constant assault creates a habit. The kid resigns himself to his fate and expects beatings as something natural. For this reason, beatings eventually become an ineffective method of punishment. And what will you do next?

Little Katya suffered from enuresis. When sending her to kindergarten, her mother strictly admonished her that if Katya wet her pants, she would be punished. A mother, taking her child home from kindergarten, discovered wet clothes. Having brought the baby home, the mother punished the girl with a belt. Perhaps if the girl had not withdrawn into herself from the constant corporal punishment, she would tell her mother that the teacher in kindergarten introduced a routine for visiting the toilet and three-year-old Katyusha is not able to wait until the allotted time. But the child was silent about his problems, and perceived punishment with a belt as a kind of component of the daily routine.

In what cases can you “vote” for corporal punishment? Speech in in this case It’s not necessarily about education with a belt. Psychologists recommend using a light spank if the child has become so spoiled that he does not respond to any comments. Typically, such outbursts of inappropriate behavior occur in children against a background when the kids are completely uncontrollable. The spanking should not be painful, but rather offensive. From such a surprise, the child will be perplexed, but will be able to perceive the information that the parents want to convey to him. But this method can also be replaced by a more humane one. You can concentrate the attention of a raging child by shouting (only effective if you usually speak calmly) or by squeezing your hand.

It is also worth mentioning assault in children's institutions. No one has the right to raise a hand against your child! Therefore, if a kindergarten teacher or school teacher did this, be sure to raise the issue at a meeting, and perhaps even with the education department. The child should feel your protection, especially in situations where he is not able to solve the problem himself.