How to recognize a guy's true feelings. How to understand if you have feelings: expert advice

Where are a man's feelings hidden?

I often hear the following question from clients: “he says he loves me, but this is very rare. But otherwise, I don’t feel anything - no manifestations, never pays a compliment, despises tenderness, believes that he is already overly sentimental with me.

I feel very cold next to him. And I cannot achieve any manifestations of feelings. In response to my requests, there was only one answer: “I am like this, and nothing can be done about it.”

How to recognize a man's real feelings? Is it possible to get a man to express feelings, or are there those who are not given this? And what is behind this inability to show feelings?

Navigation through the article “Where are a man’s feelings hidden?”

Are there naturally insensitive men?

Those who are “not given this” - no, you should know about this, and not allow yourself to be misled by such illusions.

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About the author:

There is such a prayer: “Lord, give me the strength to change what I can change, humility to accept what I cannot change, and wisdom to distinguish one from another.” This is exactly what you do in working together with a psychologist: looking for resources where changes are possible, acceptance and humility where they are not yet possible, and self-awareness to distinguish one from the other. The psychologist acts as a mirror in this work, helping you understand yourself. And the one who can give you strength and everything else is inside you.

The most important thing for any girl is to feel that she is loved, to be the center of the universe for someone. But sometimes in a relationship a girl doubts the feelings of her partner, and then the question arises, how to test a guy’s feelings?

Today, the women’s portal “Queen of Dates” will try to give a comprehensive answer to this topic.

Do you want to know how a young man feels about you? Try to simply observe his behavior and then evaluate it objectively. If you're afraid because rose-colored glasses If you are in love, miss something important - involve one of your close, trusted friends in this process.

Any guy is always interested in what is happening in the life of the object of his adoration. He will listen with sincere interest to how you are doing at work or school, what your mother fed you for dinner and what your dog has learned to do. When you talk to a guy, always pay attention to his reaction.

Does he change his plans because of you, does he pay much attention to you when you are in big company, does he remember your date of birth? All these little things matter.

Feigned indifference

To make sure of the guy’s feelings, let’s pretend to be indifferent. Just know when to stop, without fanaticism.

To check if a guy loves me, try a couple of times not calling him at the agreed time or being late for a date.

A guy who is interested in you will get in touch himself, ask what happened and treat the situation with understanding.
The main thing is not to abuse this method, since each person has his own limit of patience.

Severity check

We evaluate how seriously guy applies to your relationship. If he has feelings for you sincere feelings, then he will not be afraid of a serious relationship.

This means that he will be happy to introduce you to his circle of friends, acquaintances and even relatives.

True, if you have just begun to wonder whether a guy loves you, you should not immediately try to meet your parents. Many men do not do this for personal reasons, for example, it is not customary in the family to meet before marriage. The main thing is that he is not afraid of meeting people in the near future.

Expressing feelings

Analyze behavior young man in relation to you, how often he shows his feelings. Of course, many people are restrained in showing their emotions - which in this case will not be an indicator.

It’s better to observe how often he admires you, does he try to inadvertently touch you, hug you? Spending time together in the evening is very indicative. Tenderness and affection directly indicate that the question “loves or does not love” should disappear by itself. It is care and affection, not passionate kisses in public, they say that the guy has serious plans for you.

Field testing

During illness or difficult life situation It’s the easiest way to understand whether a guy loves you; of course, you shouldn’t pretend on purpose, but if such an opportunity presents itself, I advise you to take advantage of it.

A person who cares about you will sincerely care about you, buy medicine and find out about your well-being. He will do his best to help solve the problem.

If your boyfriend tends to stay away when you are experiencing any difficulties, then it is safe to say that his feelings are more than superficial.

What should you not do?

Extreme checks

All people are different! This means that all men cannot be lumped with the same brush. Just because one guy was willing to risk his life for you doesn't mean another will do the same, especially the one you want to test. All people have different degrees of love, and not all people are ready to sacrifice their lives for the sake of another person.

Check by jealousy

Using jealousy to determine whether a guy loves you is not only stupid, but also dangerous. A representative of the stronger sex who is too obviously jealous of his girlfriend most often experiences either a sense of ownership or sexual attraction towards her.

Temptation check

Many girls try to check whether a guy loves me by showing up with a third person, for example a friend. Every man is a hunter by nature, and there is always a chance that his instincts will kick in and the guy will turn his attention to his girlfriend.

If you test your significant other’s feelings in this way, you can end up without a boyfriend or a girlfriend, especially if it was your friend who initiated the test. Yes, yes, such stories are not uncommon in life.

To understand whether a guy loves you, you don’t need to weave cunning intrigues and put on performances. The main thing is to be sincere in relationships and then, believe me, it will not be difficult to discern the reciprocal sincerity in the soul of your loved one!

Instructions

Watch the man's nonverbal reactions - his gestures, postures and facial expressions. For example, if you are in a group of people and a man regularly turns to you, even if he is addressing someone, this may indicate that he is especially attracted to you.

Also watch the man's behavior when he passes by you. If every time he passes by, he glances at you for a second and straightens up, this also indicates that he has feelings for you. increased attention.

He may straighten his clothes in your presence, raise his hands to his face, show excitement and embarrassment, smile or look away while looking at you.

In addition, it is important for you to learn to listen to your own feelings m - take a closer look at yourself, understand exactly how you react to the people you like, and how you behave in order to become attractive to them. Look for the same reactions in the young man you like. Even minor signs of attention can clearly indicate his interest in you.

If you are, he will look for any opportunity to get close to you and will randomly run into you from time to time. He can also start a conversation with you on an interesting and unusual topic, avoiding rude intonations in the voice and will try to pronounce “we” instead of “I” or “you”.

If you are already communicating long time but you are still not sure about it feelings x, pay attention to how he prioritizes. If a man sacrifices friendly parties for the sake of meeting you and comes with pleasure to help you with household chores, and also shows sincere interest to those things that are important to you and by which you live - this indicates a genuine interest in your person.

Of course, a woman loves with her ears, but words are sometimes the most uninformative means of assessing his feelings. Interrogations “Do you love me?” are not always appropriate and, moreover, very annoying to men. There are more reliable and subtle ways to understand his attitude towards you.

Instructions

Much of what a person does not dare to say is revealed by his body. Reading ability nonverbal cues his real ones will help feelings to you. The main thing in observation is to know what to look for.

The first thing you should note is the one on which it rests on you. An area with a radius of a meter and a half around a person is his personal space. It is open to family and friends. Located sixty centimeters from the body intimate area. Only those closest to you are allowed there - old friends, relatives and loved ones. If you stand closer than half a meter from each other, you can say with confidence that he cares about you.

Now evaluate his posture and body position relative to you. Crossed limbs or a head slightly turned away from you will indicate his reluctance to communicate. But don't rush to conclusions based on one time. Poor health or problems at work are also not conducive to communication. If the man leaned his body forward, as if looking into your face, he unambiguously expressed his - he is clearly intrigued!

Relationships between people have many of their own characteristics, and it is not always possible to correctly interpret the behavior of another person. This is especially true for relationships between a man and a woman. Very often, difficulties arise due to the fact that a woman does not understand the seriousness of a man’s intentions. Does he have sincere feelings for her or is he just having a good time? Let's try to figure this out.

A man and his behavior

Not every woman understands how a man works. They think completely differently and often do not talk about their feelings. But if a man experiences real, sincere feelings, it will be reflected in his behavior. There are four most common signs by which you can determine what the object of your sympathy is truly experiencing:

• When a man really loves a woman, he strives to spend as much time with her as possible. In order to stay longer with his chosen one, he will find not only time, but also a reason.
• Actively shows tenderness and care.
• Does not ignore requests, even the most insignificant ones.
• You can hear from his friends that in company, in the absence of the lady of his heart, he becomes more withdrawn.

Signs of falling in love

If a man is in love and has truly sincere feelings, then you should take a closer look at how and what he dresses. Exists erroneous opinion that only women like to dress up. When a man is in love, he will change his usual comfortable clothes to a more stylish and fashionable one to please the chosen one.

The second sign of falling in love betrays a man with his head. He cannot take his eyes off his beloved, especially when he thinks that no one can see him. A man will admire his woman, and if he notices that he has been caught in this “crime”, he will immediately look away.

A man’s sincere feelings are especially evident when his beloved needs help. It doesn’t matter what the nature of the problem is: emotional, financial, physical or any other, he will certainly offer his help. But if he is simply observing from the side, then it is worth thinking about further continuation of the relationship.

Communication

But if he speaks smoothly, too smoothly and as if he was rehearsing his speech at his leisure, it means that his feelings are not entirely sincere. When a guy loves, he does not choose pompous, literary words in a conversation, but says everything as it is. A person in love feels relaxed in a conversation and will use the same expressions as in a circle of friends. And of course, he will avoid obscene language.

Mood and going out

Sincere feelings or not can be determined by observing a man’s reaction to the mood of his chosen one. If he is happy when his woman is doing well, then he really has deep affection for her. When he gets irritated, if his lady is not in the mood, it means about healthy and strong relationships out of the question. A guy in love will do everything to make his chosen one feel happy.

A man in love will always take a girl with him to all kinds of events and parties, meetings with friends. This is the simplest answer to the question: “How can you tell whether he has sincere feelings or not?” If a man likes to appear in a circle of friends and acquaintances, accompanied by his chosen one, this only says one thing: this girl is not just another temporary hobby.

Money, love and sex

You should also not be fooled by how much money a man spends on his lady. This is the most common female mistake, about which we need to warn everyone: if a man spends a lot of money on his companion, this does not mean at all that he has sincere feelings, love and affection for her. The law is simply that if a man has money, then he simply likes to spend it to show others that he is wealthy. And there is not even a hint of high and pure feelings. There has never been and never will be a connection between finance and love. If a guy gives expensive gifts, it just shows that he has money and wants to spend it. There is no need to confuse consistency with sincerity.

Play an important role in the lives of lovers intimate relationships. Of course, everyone has long known that to satisfy their sexual hunger, guys can start short-term relationships with girls and later leave them without regret. If a man in a relationship is only interested in sex, do not deceive yourself - this is not love at all. After all, love is not only intimacy. Anyone who really has sincere feelings for a girl will wait patiently until his beloved is ready to spend the night with him.

Is he really in love?

Men rarely talk about love, but the signs of manifestation of this bright feeling are very difficult:

• He always shows up on time at the appointed time because he values ​​the time spent together.
• He ignores calls and messages from friends and colleagues because he doesn't want to waste precious hours of communication with you.
• His gaze is constantly drawn to the object of his adoration.
• He may not talk about love, but it is impossible not to feel it.
• When a man talks about the future, he builds joint plans, saying “we”, “us”, “our”. A man in love, without a doubt, will want to spend the rest of his life with his chosen one.
• He remembers everything important dates. But this is rather an exception. Usually men cannot remember all the significant numbers - this is quite normal phenomenon, that's how they are designed. So don’t get offended or throw a tantrum; it’s better to gently remind them of the upcoming event.

• He does simple things that he wouldn't do for anyone else. A man in love will try to please his lady in everything and will take care even of the little things.
• A guy in love is a caring guy. Sometimes even overprotective. Only he will be interested in whether his chosen one had time to have lunch, whether she did important and pre-planned work, etc.
• Trying to spend more time together.
• He will speak frankly about himself. However, the stories will not always be ones where he appears in a favorable light. Men in love can even tell their lady about situations where they behaved wrongly and regret it.

This is how they are - men in love. And even if they are not so emotionally organized as to express all their feelings in words, their actions speak for themselves.

It is often difficult for a woman to understand how a guy treats her. This also applies unfamiliar men, and permanent partners. At some point, it becomes unclear what to count on in the future and how serious his intentions are. Then you have to come up with ways to check a man’s feelings, since it can be awkward to ask directly.

How to check if a man loves you?

There is no need to rush in this matter. remember, that everyone loves in their own way and perhaps your partner shows feelings as best he can. And if his behavior does not meet your expectations, this does not mean that he does not love you. Therefore, first try to understand it. When that doesn't work, push:

• Get started act indifferent. Psychologists believe that this is one of the most reliable ways to get a man to “ clean water" If he is interested in you, he will worry, ask what happened, call more often, show attention;
• Or you can leave, few pass the test of distance. You will immediately feel care and attention even if you are far away, if he is really bored;
• Tell him you want to introduce him to his parents. This is a crucial moment; he will immediately understand the seriousness of your intentions. And he will either agree that he already means something, or he will simply disappear from the horizon.

So, main advice - watch. Notice whether he cares, worries, listens to your opinion and gives in.

A person remembers only important information

pay attention to little things, sometimes they help to create a more complete picture of what is happening. When something is important to us, we try to remember it or write it down so as not to forget. Whether it's an unmissable event or a phone number.

The same situation is with the young man. Remember, does he always congratulate you on your birthday, does he remember when your mother’s anniversary is? Or he regularly misses these events.

It is also important whether he remembers your phone number by heart or can only name it by looking at it. notebook smartphone. If the device is lost, he will not be able to contact you if he did not try to learn the treasured numbers.

Of course, circumstances are different, and this is far from an indicator of an indifferent attitude if he forgot to wish you a happy birthday. There could be important things to do - work or study, or I was tired. There is no need to sound the alarm. But such events still leave an imprint and form a certain opinion in his direction.

How to test a man for the sincerity of his feelings?

Also note, how he behaves when he's around. There are things that show how he feels about you on a subconscious level. This is an elementary concern:

1. Does he help carry heavy bags, does he hold the door;
2. How does he respond to requests for help and assistance?
3. How to say goodbye. Re-read the messages, see what words come at the end, whether they speak of tenderness and care.

If you cannot objectively assess his behavior, ask a friend to help. Spend a few weekends or evenings together and let her observe. Just choose for these purposes a person who can be entrusted with such sensitive topics.

What should you not do?

The main thing now is not to do anything stupid. Some women go to extremes and then regret their mistakes. Noticing that you are trying to test him, a man may be offended.

He will also begin to distrust and the matter may end in separation. To prevent this from happening do not do it:

• Make you jealous. Light flirting with another in the presence of a loved one, late phone calls or other similar tricks can convince him that you are cheating. Then he will either simply get up and leave, or he will also slowly cheat, feeling the right to do so;
• Tempt. Do not try to test its reliability using beautiful girlfriend. Sometimes girls do this, they ask their neighbor to meet the guy to see how he does. Often this ends with a neighbor's wedding to your boyfriend.

The best way to clarify the situation - talk or at least hint that you are tormented by doubts. Explain what you are missing, what is unclear. This is an honest and courageous act that deserves respect. And most importantly, it will help get rid of misunderstandings.

How do men test women for availability?

Guys are treacherous people too. They sometimes weave intrigues not worse than women. To understand which girl is more accessible and what feelings she experiences, the guys come up with different “moves”:

• They make you jealous, they start talking about ex-girlfriends. How to react to this? The best option- listen with restraint and simply not continue this topic;
• They go with her to an expensive store. There, they offer you to choose whatever you like. In this way, the essence of a woman becomes visible: one will rush to buy everything, another will refuse because it is expensive, and the third will buy a shirt for her beloved;
• Meet friends and watch them. If the girl’s surroundings are comrades, preoccupied with finding a husband with money, and conversations revolve constantly around financial well-being, the young man can conclude that the chosen one is beyond his means;
• They may try to find out the reliability this way in a cunning way- send SMS from friends’ numbers with offers to meet;
• Or they might even talk a friend into trying to have an affair.

Again, the best way to respond to this behavior is to have an open conversation. Find out what's going on, why is he giving you exams? You will disarm him with your directness, and he will have no choice but to admit what he did.

Mistrust is a disadvantage modern man. We constantly look for the catch in people, look closely at them, listen. And we often offend them with this. Therefore, before you think about how to check the feelings of a man or girl, decide that maybe time will put everything in its place and there is no need to rush.

Video: feelings test

In this video, psychologist Diana Volodina will tell you how to find out with 99.9% accuracy how a man feels towards you, how much he cares about you: