Cheer up your mood with good, funny short stories. Life stories that lift your spirits

A positive story to lift your spirits

How I got myself a man or 12.5 discoveries

For the first time in my life. All my friends already had them, but I somehow managed. No, of course, I have male acquaintances different time there were, but they all existed outside of my apartment, appearing in it only occasionally. But then one day...

In the morning I went into the toilet and saw that the toilet seat was up. So it began new era of my life. A man moved into the house. Although at first I thought it wouldn’t take root: they’re capricious...

First of all, he said that since we decided to live together, then using a condom is now simply inhumane. True, he did not specify in relation to whom. Three options suggested themselves. The beloved seemed to be interested only in him. This didn't suit me. I accused him of being selfish and careless. He advised me to buy a vibrator. I reminded you that we live in the era of AIDS. He said he's not like that. I twirled my finger at my temple. He stuffed the ties into his suitcase. I smiled wryly. He slammed the door. I dyed my hair.

He opened it with his key.
- I barely made it before the pharmacy closed. Here,” he held out a thin package. - Were you a redhead?..

So we started living together. Returning home in the evening, I was no longer afraid if I saw light in my own windows. And she no longer said into the telephone receiver: “You are in the wrong place” if someone said his name. On top of that, my pillow smelled of his cologne. The lover snored at night, pulled the blanket over himself - the blanket fell to the floor. Not for himself, not for people... He read Marinina in the toilet, and then shouted into the crack:

Paper!
- Tear out the first chapter! And so that I don’t see this rubbish in the house anymore!..

And while visiting, he quoted Kant. And every day he stepped on the cat’s tail and every day assured him that it was an accident. He taught me how to navigate by the stars, and took me away from my friends’ houses. For some reason he gave me an inflatable boat, he was shy in front of my mother:

Svetlana Alekseevna...
“Svetlana Alexandrovna,” my mother frowned once again.

He woke me up at night with kisses, while washing his face, he snorted. He splattered the bathroom mirror with toothpaste and gave me strawberries in the winter. In short, he was irresistible.

A stereo system and dumbbells appeared in my house. Music sounded from morning to evening. The dumbbells were inactive. When vacuuming the carpet, I had to move them from place to place each time. Guests kept bumping into them. Neighbor Katya said that “these pieces of iron” spoil the aesthetic appearance of the living room. Unable to bear it, I suggested putting this phallic symbol in the closet. The beloved was inflamed with righteous anger. Reminded that a healthy mind can only be found in healthy body. And in general, it turns out that he has already looked at a suitable barbell at Sporting Goods.

The biceps need to be pumped up... - he confidentially told me.

But now I always had shaving foam on hand. In addition, I could fully participate in my friends’ conversations on the topic “And mine was yesterday”:
‣ played until morning computer games
‣ lay under the car all day
‣ ate a week's supply of cutlets
‣ broke a cup and replaced a burnt out light bulb
‣ smoked in the toilet again
‣ said that TV series are dull
‣ watched boxing all evening
‣ hid my phone book
‣ ... bastard and bloodsucker

In short, Cohabitation being with a man brought a lot of discoveries. Pleasant and not very pleasant.

The first discovery: he exists.

Discovery two: he was constantly hungry!
Coffee and tangerine for breakfast did not suit him. Products that I had previously hated appeared in the house: butter, lard, sugar, vodka, pasta. The mayonnaise rating has skyrocketed. IN women's magazines I started paying attention to culinary recipes. A eternal question"What to cook for dinner?" tormented me worse than Hamlet's. I was furious. I fryed, boiled, grated and tasted something non-stop. I gained three kilos. The beloved was fit, cheerful and always ready to eat. When he says, “Do we have anything tasty?” climbed into the refrigerator five minutes after lunch, I wanted to kick him from behind! And slam the door. I began to dream that packages with the inscription: “Men’s food. 10 kg” would appear on store shelves. I bought it and the day is free...

Discovery three: he was hiding his socks.
I hope not from me. The fact that he wore them, of course, was no secret to me. The light of my eyes never wrapped footcloths around his feet or walked barefoot. He enjoyed the textile and hosiery benefits of civilization, but... Coming home from work, the first thing he did was look for more secluded places and there, like a chipmunk's stash, he hid them, having previously rolled them up in the form of compact squiggles. And no amount of suggestion could force him to take these “snails” even to the bathroom. With manic persistence, my man parked socks under the sofa, under the armchair and, it seemed, was ready to tear off the baseboards in order to bury his treasures there.

Discovery four: he made a will every time he had a toothache or a runny nose.
He moaned and groaned like a wounded buffalo. He gasped at the word “clinic” and cried out for my mercy. He demanded to finish him off in order to save him from inhuman suffering. Holding my hand, he nobly advised me to paint the old Opel before selling it. And How a real man, holding back sobs on his deathbed, said goodbye to the things dear to his heart: music discs, mobile phone and the newspaper "Sport Express".

Fifth discovery: he knew how to remain silent.
He could sit in front of the TV screen all evening and not utter a word. Give him free rein - he, who knows two languages ​​and has higher education, would limit communication with me to three phrases: " Good morning, dear”, “What are we having for dinner, darling?” and “Come to me...” To be fair, it should be noted that his communication with his mother or telephone conversations with friends they were also not particularly eloquent. And his relationship with best friend were based on watching football matches together and making succinct comments:
- Pass! Pass, I said!.. Well, you little shit!.. Vit, give me a beer...

Discovery sixth: knowing how to remain silent, he could not stand silence.
I still haven’t solved this paradox. Not only did he touch the stereo more often than me, he almost never left the TV, switching channels at the speed of light. From start to finish, my beloved only watched news and sports programs. The rest of the time he clicked the remote control. The pictures on the TV flashed like in an eerie kaleidoscope. I felt dizzy. And God forbid you get on the line between him and the TV. A sharp diplomatic demarche immediately followed:
- Get off the screen!

Discovery seventh: he jealously guarded his territory.
His possessions were considered: a place at the table - one and a favorite chair - two. Even guests could not sit on his stool in the kitchen. And the poor cat flew out of the soft chair like a bullet, barely hearing the familiar heavy tread.

I didn't break any boundaries. Women's intuition told me that it was better not to encroach on the man's throne, his sacred mug and sovereign slippers. But you can hide the hated dumbbells. Or even sell them for scrap - my precious athlete is unlikely to notice the loss.

Opening eight: supervision and control.
- Who were you talking to on the phone?.. Who is this bespectacled guy in the photo?.. Where were you from four to five?.. Where did you get these earrings?..
- With a friend. My brother. At the hairdresser's. You gave...

Discovery ninth: I could no longer lie in bed for hours. scented bath.
My ninety-kilogram bunny tried to break into the room. He urgently needed Toothbrush. Then there was an urgent need to inspect the leaking faucet for two months. Then he was interested in whether he would fit next to me and how much water our bodies would displace according to Archimedes’ law. Either he was simply bored alone, and he whined under the door, appealing to my conscience:
- I suffer from lack of communication!

But as soon as I left, the sufferer immediately returned contentedly to his chair.
- Hey, what about Archimedes' law? - I asked.
“I’ll take a shower,” the dear one said and buried his nose in the newspaper.

Discovery tenth: his stubble was growing.
She grew up, of course, even before our, let’s say old-fashioned, cohabitation. But before, my hero came to dates clean-shaven, and now I watched him almost around the clock... The skin on my face began to peel off.

Discovery eleven: he didn’t remember ours holiday dates!!!
At all. Amnesia. Selective memory lapses. He remembered the day of the storming of the Bastille, the day of the technical inspection and the day of his own leaving for the army, but the date of my birth could not take hold in any of his hemispheres. However, he would have missed even New Year, if not for the widespread excitement.
- Aunties with Christmas trees appeared on the streets. It’s time to buy champagne,” he drew thoughtful conclusions.

Discovery twelfth: it turned out to be terribly impractical.
He didn't know how to plan our budget. When he left to get food, he brought back five bottles of beer, a bag of chips and a glass of ice cream. I was embarrassed to take change. I didn’t know how to bargain in the market. He bought everything that cunning grannies sold him. And one day he brought roses instead of potatoes. I just sighed.
“I love you,” he said, holding out the flowers.

Discovery twelfth and a half: he loves me...

In general, life with a man is like a game of chess. A continuous blitz with not entirely clear rules.
- That's not how a horse walks.
- Stupid... How do you think the horse walks?
- The letter "Gy"...
- Let the neighbor walk around with the letter “Gy”. And I'll go like this...
- Since when are these new rules?
- Since last minute... I said. Go, my love...

© Natalya Radulova

Interesting things happen to us every day, but we are so often in a hurry to get somewhere that sometimes we don’t notice or simply forget about these wonderful moments, fixing our consciousness on the wrong thing. best situations that happened to us on this day. So today we suggest looking at your day through a “positive” lens :)

Read a selection of stories that people share on the Internet.

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My grandfather loved borscht very much. And so the grandmother cooked it all month, with the exception of one day, when she cooked some other soup. And it was on this day, after eating a bowl of soup, the grandfather said: “The soup is good, of course, but, Petrovna, could you cook some borscht tomorrow? I missed him madly.”

*** *** ***
Whenever we argue with my husband, we sleep in different rooms. A month ago we were given a kitten. Now, if my husband goes into another room, the cat grabs his hand with its teeth and pulls him in the direction of the bed - it won’t calm down until we all fall asleep together, hugging each other. This is how a cat resolves our conflicts.

*** *** ***
My morning started with tasteless coffee, a clump of hair being pulled out, and the fact that my kitten “did his business” in my new boots for 15 thousand rubles. Then, when I came to work, I found out that I had been fired. And in the evening my boyfriend proposed to me. I am the happy girl in the world!

*** *** ***
I realized that my eyesight was very bad when I walked through the park from work and tried to lure a cat. He “kiss-kissed” her for a long time, coming closer, and she croaked and flew away.

*** *** ***
I'm a single father. Yesterday I heard a neighbor say that I was a bad father. Like the little one was screaming all day. But I simply did not allow her to eat plasticine.

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I left to live in another city six months ago. Mom sent a parcel with winter things and hid a chocolate bar in her boot. When I found it, I cried for half an hour. I miss you terribly. Appreciate your parents, for them we are all the same kids.

*** *** ***
Recently my mother and I went to see my brother for his birthday, and my mother called a taxi. A car arrives with a child seat: it turns out that to the operator’s question, “Are you traveling with a child?” Mom answered: “Yes.” I am 23

*** *** ***
One day I was walking around the center in new shoes and my feet rubbed badly. And there is no pharmacy or store nearby. I’m walking with a limp, I’m completely desperate, I’m enduring hellish pain, and then a girl catches up with me and gives me a pack of plasters with a smile! This is female mutual understanding.

*** *** ***
This morning I was very pleased with a man about 50 years old on the subway. He read the book and laughed heartily at some points. And then he remembered that people were looking at him, and again became gloomy and serious. But, reaching the funny page, he again began to laugh and smile like a child. How cool is this.

Theme of smile and Have a good mood popular not only in films and music. It is also relevant in ordinary life, because a smile changes a lot.

Psychologists about mood

At first a few serious words in this generally light and fun article. Soul specialists - traditional, Vedic, alternative psychologists - unanimously repeat the importance of a good mood in a person’s life.

In psychology there is even a whole direction called “felicitism”, in other words, the science of happiness. Attempts to measure happiness, describe it, find recipes for it lead to nothing but further confirmation of how important it is to be happy.

In a song known from childhood, it was very correctly said that “a smile will make everyone brighter” - and indeed, happiness is externally projected by a smile, and it attracts others to its owner.

The influence of mood on health

There is no need to cite data from controversial alternative psychology about the connection between thought forms and diseases to prove the importance of a good mood. It is enough to remember one good neurologist from a district clinic, who always advises patients to keep good spirits and believe in the best so that the treatment will help.

There is also scientific data on the connection between professional activity and typical diseases, for example, executives are more likely to suffer from cardiovascular diseases, workers - from diseases gastrointestinal tract, teachers - mental and nervous disorders. At first glance, such relationships are logical based on the lifestyle of representatives of these areas, however, stress also plays a significant role here, and negativity affects everyone in its own way.

And you can’t ignore your own observations: optimistic and friendly people get sick much less and generally feel better.

How to lift your mood?

Concluding the serious part of the essay, here are several ways to improve your mood:

• communicate with a pleasant and easy-going person;
• watch your favorite comedy or funny videos about animals;
• play with the kids - funny and lively;
• read a joke or funny poems;
• listen to the satirist's speech.

It is noticeable that the word plays a leading role in raising the mood, isn’t it?

10 facts about smiling

The components of a good mood are not only words, but also a sincere, joyful facial expression. Here are some interesting facts about smiling:

• she is contagious;
• inspires trust;
• attracts others;
• Women have a “built-in” smile, men have humorous stories;
• a smile evokes sympathy;
• laughter through tears - physiologically they are identical;
• laughter is a strong endorphin;
• laughing together is more fun;
• a real smile is expressed not with the mouth, but with the eyes;
• satellites - "crow's feet".

Good mood in movies and cartoons

The essence of comedy films is words to lift your spirits. It’s already the end of the film, and the audience is still laughing and repeating their favorite phrases. Let's remember some gems:

• “So that you carry out explanatory work among me.”
• "Where is our prosecutor? Where Napoleon used to lie."
• "I need to take a bath, have a cup of coffee."
• "Semyon Semyonich..."
• “Why did you lie down? - We fell.”
• “I have been tongue-tied since childhood: I think as I think, but I speak as I speak.”
• "I am a speech therapist for the correction of speech defects."

Who doesn't know these famous phrases that make you smile?

Humor is for of different ages: they also live in cartoons to cheer up:

• “I’m already tired at work, I barely have the strength to watch TV.”
• "Working together - for my benefit - it unites."
• “We haven’t been to any Tahiti, they feed us well here too.”
• “Well, come in if you want.”

Just read it and a smile will spread across your face - a positive thing to lift your spirits!

Positive for the corporate event

Corporate parties are newfangled inventions of restless HR people for additional motivation of sad employees. A holiday should be fun, and a corporate party is no exception.

Entire scenarios for the event are created, roles and words are distributed, costumes are selected and, of course, funny rhymes - how could we live without them?

Here are some of the famous ones:

The horses are dying from work,

Well, I am an immortal pony!

Words to the boss:

If work goes well,
And profitability is growing
This means our boss -
He does things right.

Or a postcard from a boss to a subordinate:

You work for seven;

You are never late;

You always smile at everyone;

You don't complain about anything;

You don't gossip about anyone.

A cool poem to cheer up the boss, and the entire team:

We are not sycophants at all,
But we want to suck up:
Our leader is strong -
It would be a sin not to praise him!

Cool poem to lift your spirits

There is such a talent as composing funny things. Not only Ilf and Petrov are masters, but in our time there are such specialists. Appreciate the depth of thought and smile:

If only I weren't constantly

So modest, and honest, and strange, and boo,

Then I would oh, I would oh,

I would wow.

And just an optimistic little poem:

If life deceives you -
Don't be sad, don't be angry,
On a day of despondency, humble yourself:
The day of fun, believe me, will come!
The heart lives in the future.
Is the present dull? - everything is instant, everything will pass,
Whatever happens will be nice!

Positive to lift your spirits

Funny things are all around us. One of the most famous ethnographers of the humor that surrounds us was Mikhail Zadornov - the name was deliberately invented. He manages to see and hear funny things, as they say, “without leaving the cash register.”

For example, an ad:

"Requires 2 workers who want to work instead of 2 who didn't want to work".

Line from the catering receipt: "Herring with bast."

Funny things happen in politics too. This is how the newspapers went crazy a few years ago: "Elections 2008: save the country! Hide grandma's passport!"

Schoolchildren have a special talent for making people laugh: what they write in their notebooks lifts the mood not only of teachers, but also of all visitors to Internet pages.

Note in the diary: “During recess I climbed the wall to the 4th floor!”

Checking the work in the notebook: “Where is exercise 43? What are you thinking about, Andrey?” Answer: "About girls."

Diary entry 12/21/2012: “The whole lesson was waiting for the end of the world.”

The kids are amazing

Girls and boys.

How to attract a girl?

Psychologists say that women value a man very much: by building a hierarchy of important qualities, they rank him among the top five most desirable traits.

A poem to cheer up a girl - The best way please her. The female sex does not like compliments fewer men, and laudatory odes in their honor will definitely improve your mood.

You can send her a small poem-SMS, or you can arrange stylish postcard with heartfelt words in her honor. And girls really love it when they are addressed by name and addressed with personalized congratulations.

You can send the following poem to your mobile phone:

Don't be sad, but smile
And in nothing
Everything will be great - I know!
I miss you so much!

Which girl would refuse to receive such an SMS in the morning?

Or like this funny poem to set the mood:

I don't have breakfast in the morning because I think about you. I don’t have lunch during the day - I think about you. In the evening I don’t have dinner - I think about you. I can’t sleep at night - I WANT TO EAT!

Make sure that a poem to cheer up a girl is a great way!

Funny ditties

Of course, every age has its own humor: what is funny to a schoolchild will only make an adult smile, and vice versa. However, there is a funny poem to lift the mood that will make anyone smile, and the following ditties are especially popular among funny people:

Yegor answered the lesson -
The teacher fainted!
From his ignorance
The teacher is unconscious.

Play the game on the computer
Denis finished playing by morning.
At school at the blackboard Denis,
Like a computer, it froze itself.

Popular short poems to lift your spirits not only school theme, but also production:

Oh, work, you, work,
Oh, it tormented me:
I'm hanging out in my office,
Like a scarecrow in the garden!

Eh, work, you, work,
Best friend:
We're inseparable all day long
Like a horse and girth!

Smile: funny stories

But the funniest stories are always from life: kids do weird things, adults do weird things. People will be amused not only by short poems to lift the mood, but also by prose: stories about glamorous blondes sitting behind the wheel are especially chic. Here is one of the stories told by an eyewitness.

One day he was waiting at a tire shop for his horse to be repaired, and at that time a red Lexus drove up to the workshop with glamor girl from a breed that is popular today.

The guys at the service station were also humorous and after the repair they half-jokingly asked how to pump up the tires. The girl, without blinking an eye, asked: “What is there?”

The guys looked at each other: “The air is different tastes: there is peach, strawberry."

The entire service station is already giggling, ears pricked up, and the conversation continues. The girl calmly clarifies the price, and the master just as calmly issues an invoice for 800 rubles for 4 wheels. Apparently she's happy with the price because she orders strawberry air.

Witnesses to this colorful conversation can hardly restrain their laughter and, unable to stand it, burst into laughter: it’s not every day that you see such a hilarious picture. The girl, not at all embarrassed and without a shadow of a smile, waits until her wheels are filled with sweet berries, counts out the money and sets off safely. People don't just laugh, they cry.

The story had a continuation when, a couple of days later, a familiar red Lexus stopped near the workshop, and a rather serious uncle got out of it. When he asked who rocked the wheels on this car a couple of days ago, everyone became quiet and pressed themselves against the wall: now it has come, the hour of reckoning, now the showdown will begin. But there was nowhere to go, and the owner of the establishment came forward, confirming that the tires on the car were inflated here.

The man finally clarified what the tires on his wife’s car were inflated with, and when the completely embarrassed guys confirmed that it was strawberry air, he did something that no one expected - he pulled out a wad of money and handed a thousand rubles to the owner of the service station.

As it turned out, the husband was not angry at all, but, on the contrary, had been laughing for several days and amused everyone with his wife’s adventure. And when he no longer had the strength to laugh, he decided to come, thank him for the entertainment and encourage the financially resourceful masters.

And here’s another little story from the auto series: “ Sergei Viktorovich parked so badly that people wrote to him on his car: “Stupid”.”.

They are quite popular and observant people have noticed the following pattern:

If the husband answers his wife “no,” then the question was something like: “How long will you continue to watch your football?” If the husband answers his wife: “As you wish,” then the question was something like: “Should I get orange highlights?” If a husband answers his wife “yes,” she probably asked, “Are you listening to me?!”

And finally, a few apt statements from Zadornov:

• Only our man, crossing the road at a red light, can be knocked down by a pedestrian running towards him.
• Don't dig a hole for your neighbor, otherwise he will use it as a trench.

The story is absolutely real.
Lived in the world beautiful girl with an ugly last name. I don’t know why her ancestors were punished like that, but it was written in the passport: Svetlana Gnida. She suffered like this until she was 20 years old, until she married a man with the wonderful surname Priceless. But for some reason, Svetlana not only took her husband’s last name, but also left her own. It turned out great double surname: Nit-Priceless.
You can endlessly tell such stories as, for example, at the graduation ceremony, all of Sveta’s classmates died with laughter when they heard from their dean: Our best student Priceless-Nit is awarded with a red diploma, how Sveta’s children threatened to burn their birth certificates if their mother forbade they need to change their last name, etc.
What I liked most was this story from this family:
When Sveta was arguing very strongly with her husband, Sergei (husband) said only one phrase, after which her verbal flow completely dried up, and a smile appeared on her face. And Sergei said this:
- Shut up, Gnida, I made you Priceless!...

My neighbor bought himself a Japanese minibus. They have this option:
When you engage reverse, it starts recording a phrase in Japanese.
Like: “I’m driving backwards, move away”
I come to the garage, he comes out to meet me, happy, smiling...
- Look what you did.
He gets into the car, starts it, puts it in reverse...
- “GO FUCK YOU!”, GO FUCK YOU!”, GO FUCK YOU!...
All this in the voice of a neighbor, and for the whole yard.

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