What to cook on the table for matchmaking. A cool matchmaking scenario from the groom's side: words and text of the groom, the groom's parents, matchmakers, toasts, ditties, songs, poems

Instructions

If your parents know practically nothing about the guy, tell them a friend before the official meeting. Mother and father - about how good he is and how he loves you - about their parents, what they love and what they should abstain from. This story will mentally prepare both parties for the acquaintance. In addition, if they learn more about each other, they will quickly find topics for communication. If there is a need for this, tell the guy how best to dress to make a good impression, what flowers to give to his mother, and what cognac to give to his father.

Matchmaking usually takes place at home, with your parents, but if you want, you can simply invite them to lunch or dinner at good restaurant. The type of clothing you wear depends on where the meeting takes place. A casual suit is appropriate for a family meeting, but an elegant two-piece suit should be worn to a restaurant. In any case, refrain from both too simple everyday outfits and formal clothes that are not typical for you. In the first case, you may seem like an unenviable match, in the second, you will feel out of place.

Having met your bride and her parents, give them the gifts you brought (for women - flowers, champagne or sweets, for men - good cognac). The girl should introduce you to her parents, and her parents to you.

Start the conversation with some neutral topic, but do not drag it out for too long. Shift the conversation to the topic of love and the purpose of your coming. To avoid being nervous and confused at the decisive moment, try to think through and rehearse your speech in advance. Tell us about your feelings for and how you will treat your wife, what you do, how you think about supporting your family, etc. Try to speak calmly and reasonably. Remember that in front of you are people for your girl who wish her happiness.

Your parents, godparents, some relatives or friends can also participate in the ceremony. In this case, you yourself speak about your feelings and intentions, and your “support group” should try to introduce you to the girl’s parents in the most attractive form.

If the girl’s parents have nothing against the existing candidate and this wedding, then the father, as a rule, invests right hand into the hand of the future son-in-law. After this, give your parents symbolic gifts as a sign of respect, and give your bride a ring, which she will have to wear on her left hand until the wedding. At this moment, in many families, the girl’s parents also give something to their future relatives.

Modern boys and girls are increasingly deciding to tie the knot in their lives. However, many people want to follow all the traditions of matchmaking. How to match a bride? What do the groom and his parents need for this? Let's talk!

How did the matchmaking of the bride go before?

First of all, matchmaking was preceded by a bridesmaid ceremony. In addition to the groom, his relatives came to the bride’s house - older brother, uncle or Godfather. The girl had to demonstrate her talents, and if the groom liked her, soon matchmakers would be sent to her house.

During matchmaking, the girl should have been silent and demonstrated her skills and outfits. If the groom liked the bride, he drank a glass of water or honey presented to her by her relatives. If not, I just put the glass to my lips and left it full. The girl, in turn, could bring a pumpkin to the disgruntled groom, which meant refusal.

Modern traditions of bride matchmaking

Nowadays . In big cities, the whole ceremony most often comes down to the parents having dinner together and the young people announcing their intentions. But if the newlyweds want to keep traditions, then the groom and his parents need to prepare in advance:

1. First of all, you should discuss in advance a date and time that is convenient for the parents for the visit.
2. The guy should appease the future mother-in-law and father-in-law with a gift. Girls most often choose a bouquet of flowers for their mother, but another gift is also suitable: beautiful dishes or decorative items, sweets. The groom can give the girl's father a bottle of elite alcohol, cigars, or a book. You can also ask the bride what her father’s hobbies are (fishing, collecting, hunting) and make an appropriate gift.
3. The groom should give flowers and symbolic gift and the bride.
4. The role of matchmakers can be not only the guy’s parents, but also the godfather or close relative. The male matchmaker must be married, but the matchmaker can be unmarried.
5. Matchmakers traditionally bring a symbolic gift to the girl’s parents: sweets, fruits, wine.
6. The groom's mother can give future daughter-in-law some expensive gift. It can be Jewelry or something valuable to the family.
7. Matchmakers can also present the bride's parents with a symbolic gift - an icon, beautiful candles, amulet.

The groom and parents must be neatly dressed. If there are other girls in the family, for example, sisters, you need to take care of flowers for them.

IN modern society It is not customary to learn long poetic speeches, but traditionally matchmakers start a conversation with everyone familiar: “You have a product, we have a merchant.” The following is a story about what lives in this house beautiful girl, with whom the young, generous, strong and wealthy groom is infinitely in love, and whose hand they came to ask for matchmaking. The bride's parents can answer impromptu, but it is better for the groom's matchmakers to prepare a speech in advance.

While parents praise the bride and groom, reporting on their education, work, successes and other achievements, the young are supposed to remain embarrassedly silent. Previously, the bride had to change clothes at least five times to demonstrate her family's wealth and her beauty. Nowadays this tradition has lost its relevance -. Sometimes, while the auction is going on, the girl hides in her room.

The bride's parents prepare treats for the matchmakers and at the table discuss the young couple's plans for life, their intentions, attitude towards children, etc.

Matchmaking ends with a decision - whether the girl’s parents will give their daughter in marriage to the groom. After their consent, the date of the viewing is agreed upon - when the girl’s parents go to the groom’s house. The holding of the wedding, the number of guests, and the distribution of expenses are already stipulated there.

Matchmaking traditions

Particular attention has always been paid to observing customs, so if traditional matchmaking is planned, the information will be useful:

• It is not customary to get married on the thirteenth, as well as on Fridays and Wednesdays;
• Most often people go to matchmaking on the 3rd, 5th, 7th or 9th of any month;
• Traditionally, a guy needed to run from the car to the house as quickly as possible - this reflected his love and protected him from the evil eye;
• The matchmakers entered the house after the third invitation. At the same time, it was customary to slam the door loudly during the first two;
• the guests were seated in a certain way with their backs to the door, which indicated their intentions;
• first they started talking about something distant, and then got down to business;
• The matchmakers examined the girl in order to find flaws and reduce the ransom. They could even examine the condition of her teeth, so the bride’s parents and the girl herself tried to prepare for the ceremony as thoroughly as possible. Now, naturally, no one does such an inspection, but in in a comic form matchmakers can ask the girl to demonstrate what she can do: cook dinner, sweep, wash dishes, iron a shirt;
• The bride's parents negotiated, after which the girl's father decided whether to marry her to this groom. The second word belonged to the mother, the third - to the bride's brother.

If now 99% of matchmaking rituals end with the parents’ consent to the wedding, then previously matchmakers could go on for years while the bride’s father chose the most worthy candidate for his daughter.

Traditionally, the girl's parents did not prepare gifts for the matchmakers. In modern society, returning gifts is a sign of respect, so you should prepare in advance. What to give as a gift, it is better to check with the guy. These can be home amulets, wine, a basket of fruits, a home flower, kitchen utensils.

To turn matchmaking into a real holiday, you can invite professional matchmakers who, according to a special scenario, will arrange a fun and interesting ceremony.

Matchmaking is an ancient custom that takes place in the bride's house after sunset. The girl with her family and friends meets the groom with her matchmakers and parents. Although this ritual is ancient, even today some couples try to observe it.

The bride's matchmaking is an important and responsible event not only for the groom, but also for the future bride. After all, the matchmaking takes place in the girl’s house. Which should show itself only with the best side, and for this you need to do a lot preparatory work for the upcoming event: collect the dowry, prepare the house for welcoming guests, set the table, buy a pumpkin, discuss with your parents the intricacies of communicating with matchmakers.

We collect the dowry.

For some modern brides, the word “dowry” will not be familiar. What it is? Bridal dowry - things that the parents give the bride for her new family life. The richer the dowry the parents collected for the young woman, the greater the chance of the girl getting married. The dowry includes dishes, bed sheets, towels, tablecloths, etc. Things are especially valued self made, For example, embroidered tablecloth the girl herself, which made a spectacular impression on the groom and matchmakers.

How to serve matchmakers?

Matchmakers are received at the bride's house. In order to produce positive impression for guests, the house should be cleaned. The bride's house is the face of the bride. It should be clean, cozy and comfortable. The bride's dowry is placed in a prominent place, and a pumpkin is also placed in the corner, which can serve as a refusal for the groom. But you shouldn’t put it in the center of the table or room; let it help set the matchmakers up for an active conversation and harmony.

Any event does not pass without festive table. Likewise, during the matchmaking ceremony, the table is set for the welcome guests. Only dishes are placed on the table homemade. The girl should take direct part in preparing the dishes, demonstrating her culinary abilities. Author's dishes are highly valued (note to the bride).

The bride should also dress appropriately and according to tradition. The bride's outfit should be soft, modest, but tasteful. The dress or skirt should not be above the knees. The hairstyle is simple, like day makeup. It is also worth paying attention to the manicure - neat and discreet, French is ideal. For jewelry, you can wear a ring or necklace given by the groom. What to talk about with guests should be discussed in advance, so as not to get into awkward situations, not to “shush” and wink at each other at the table.

Tips for the bride.

In the old fashioned way, the bride was not present at the matchmaking ceremony. She sat quietly in the next room until she was called. But now everything has changed. The bride herself meets the matchmakers in her home. And she needs to show herself as a good housewife, a friendly girl. The kind of girl with whom a young man can go through his entire family life, and the matchmakers will understand this.

How to make exactly this impression? Easily. Here are some tips. During the matchmaking ceremony, the bride should be mostly silent, not ask questions, not start or maintain a conversation at the table, or make toasts. You should not drink heavily and eat a lot. You need to prove yourself to be a caring housewife: look after the empty plates on the table, take away dirty dishes, take care of the wine glasses and napkins. Monitor your conversation with everyone present, including your parents. Don't get involved in the conversation and interrupt. What’s important is that you don’t need to hug and kiss your fiancé in front of your parents, even if you’ve been together for many years. Also, you shouldn’t praise yourself or brag; the bride’s parents should talk about this.

AND main advice, behave naturally, do not flaunt your flaws, and the success of matchmaking is guaranteed.

Matchmaking by the bride the same tribute to tradition as on the part of the groom. As far as our older relatives can remember, matchmaking was noisy and fun. Costumed matchmakers, with songs and ditties, came to the bride’s court and sang songs of praise about the virtues and prowess of the groom. The bride's task in this ceremony was very modest. In fact, during the matchmaking, the girl was always in separate room, and the parents took part in the negotiations. However, this did not mean that the girl’s matchmaking customs did not imply long and intensive preparation for the process.

How to match a bride to create a bright, unforgettable, but modern holiday?

• First, you need to prepare a symbolic dowry. In the old days, this indicator was a significant factor for matchmakers. The amount of the dowry and the kind of handicrafts contained in the chests depended on the matchmakers’ assessment of the bride’s hard work and skill. Matchmaking of a bride in our time is devoid of such strict formalities, but it is possible to prepare a formal dowry, and better yet, household items created by the hands of the bride.
• Secondly, you need to buy a large pumpkin. Placing a pumpkin on the doorstep meant that the bridegroom’s parents did not like him, which means he was turned away. Of course, the pumpkin should not be displayed, but its presence will remind matchmakers to be active and try to prevent the melon crop from being a reminder into becoming a formidable sign.
• Thirdly, cover good table, it is desirable that the bride herself takes part in preparing the dishes.
  The bride's matchmakers meet the guests and begin to ask them about the purpose of their visit. How does matchmaking go for real? Matchmakers do not speak directly, but in allegorical phrases, without directly naming the subject of discussion.

They praise the groom, pointing out his virtues and strengths. Then they start asking the girl’s parents, and now it’s time to praise their daughter. Matchmakers are trying in every possible way to “bring down the price” for the bride, asking tricky questions. Modern matchmaking of a bride can be very cheerful and perky, and at the same time harmless, because, in essence, parents are already prepared in advance to give their child in marriage.

Matchmakers can set the tone of the conversation, make it ironic, or, conversely, follow the rules of etiquette and knowingly ask things that will receive a good answer. Those who are interested in the tasks of matchmakers should watch the film “The Banker,” where Liya Akhedzhakova plays the matchmaker. A harmonious and capacious image that allows you to understand the whole essence of the custom of matchmaking a girl.

Matchmaking of the bride in our time

Matchmaking on the part of the bride involves first a conversation between the families of the bride and groom. The dialogue might look like this.

Matchmakers from the groom's side:

“Is your marten good? Or not big at all? How does she cook, how does she wash, how does she clean the house?”

Parents:

“Good is not the right word! Beautiful in face, healthy in body! Blood and milk, not touchy, smiling, but how she sings, and how she bakes pies!”

“The pies are probably on fire!”

Parents:

“Slanders! The pies are fresh, aromatic, and taste good. Please try and dine with us"

It should be noted that during matchmaking it is necessary to treat the guests, emphasizing that all the most delicious things were prepared by the caring hands of the bride.

“Fresh kvass, on fluffy bread, infused with three waters, strained through three sieves”
“Pies made from first-class flour, she harvested the ears herself, collected the grain herself, took them to the mill herself, baked the pies herself.”

Of course, performing the ceremony in the old melodious style is interesting and pleasant. But often we want to carry out the matchmaking of the bride in our time in a completely different direction. Then matchmaking poems should be funny and without unnecessary ancient comparisons:

The bride's parents can praise the bride like this:

“Our bride is beautiful, I can’t describe it with a pen.”
Every guy, as soon as he sees her, immediately wants to take her as his wife.
And she’s as slender as a birch tree, and her eyes are like lakes,
The beauty is so wonderful that it even glows from the face.
And the dowry is rich: we’ll give you the keys to the palace,
Yes, someone like ours was stolen, don’t even look for it!
You won't find someone like her anywhere, so modest young,
Is it time to bargain, matchmakers? There’s nothing else like it in the world!”

If the matchmakers see how the bride's matchmaking is going and are satisfied with the process, they ask to see the bride. On this day, the girl must prepare. Dress modestly and decently, even if modern matchmaking brides Previously, they had not made special costumes for girls, however, they dressed the bride in the most elegant and rich clothes, and certainly with protective embroidery and amulets. Clothes had to emphasize the girl's appearance, but be modest and not provocative. Ideally, on the day of matchmaking, a girl should not drink, talk less, and generally behave delicately. By the way, on the day of matchmaking, the bride and groom could remain silent all day and not even sit next to each other. Moreover, there was no talk of any kisses; it was impossible to spend the evening with the bride.

The matchmakers ask the girl to actually show her skills: sweep the floors, wash the dishes until they shine, cook dinner in 10 minutes from scrap ingredients, iron a shirt, and generally show other similar skills. After the action has been completed, the matchmakers on the bride’s side praise the girl’s work.

After the acquaintance, the newly-made relatives displayed a pumpkin or, as a sign that the groom had been accepted into the family as a future son-in-law, they placed a signature treat on the table.

Next, the parents of the bride and groom raised their glasses for the newlyweds and for the union of families, and presented gifts to the matchmakers for their work. On matchmaking girl matchmakers often got drunk or received a very large sum from the relatives of the guy and girl. The matchmakers were not sent away or said goodbye to them, but were seated as honored guests at the table, and after the end of the holiday they were escorted home with honors and gifts.

In order for the matchmaking to be bright and without offense, you need to buy the right gifts and ritual items for modern matchmaking.

If you have no idea how to match a bride, or want to create an unusual and funny scenario, call us, we will help.

If matchmaking occurs on the part of the bride, we will consider what to say and how to behave in this material. In the old days, matchmaking was associated with big amount signs and traditions that were necessarily observed. The first and most important sign- the better the matchmaking went, the better and happier you will be family life young.

Of course, the importance of observing traditions during matchmaking has not been disputed. It was a day of respect for the ancestors, who, of course, watched everything and could bring happiness and prosperity to the young family, ward off misfortune and simply help in Hard time. Excellent cheerful and beautiful.

How to behave during matchmaking

If you look modern video on the topic, matchmaking on the part of the bride, what can I say, it will, of course, be different from what happened before. A hundred years ago in Rus', matchmaking lasted for a week. On one day they matched the bride, on the second the parents got to know each other better, then there was a bridesmaid ceremony and an engagement party.

Plus these important stages, which are described above, you can add a ritual when the bride’s relatives came to look at the house and household of the groom, when the bride’s drinking party took place at a noisy feast, and then the matchmaking was considered completely accomplished and to refuse the marriage after this was considered a great sin and shame.

How to get married

It all started with the fact that an agreement was concluded before the wedding. It was discussed with the matchmakers who came to the bride’s house what the groom was like and why he wanted the chosen bride as his wife. The first stage of negotiations was conducted by a local matchmaker.

When consent was received from the bride's relatives to accept matchmakers from the groom, a festive treat was presented and the matchmakers were seated at the table. A long conversation took place, during which the families got to know each other, had fun, competed in wit and discussed issues important for the future family. How beautiful in prose and poetry.

Interesting! An ancient custom says that during matchmaking the bride should sit on the stove and carefully remove the ashes so as not to stain her best outfit, which she puts on for this purpose.

Again, there were many different folk signs, when, judging by the behavior of the bride, the matchmakers could understand whether the groom was nice to her. For example, if a girl started moving from the threshold to the stove, it meant that she liked the groom. If she swept the floor from the stove to the threshold, then with such a gesture she drove away the matchmakers.

So, the exact matchmaking scenario on the part of the bride is no longer necessary to say. But certain rituals, still, as a tribute to antiquity and traditions, must be observed. The bride's relatives should definitely treat the matchmakers, and during the meal tell them how their girl is a jack of all trades. Also tell or at least hint about what kind of dowry awaits. Good omen- this is the arrival of matchmakers on odd dates on the calendar.

Shows are being held

Matchmaking on the part of the bride, what to tell the bride's parents? Most likely, you will have to talk a lot during the screening. They pass after the first treat and the girl must show the groom’s relatives what she can do and look at her dowry.

It is customary for a girl to change her outfit three times during the show. After this, the young man once again discussed the girl’s merits with his relatives and drank a full mug of intoxicating mead if he liked the girl and definitely intended to marry her. If the groom only had a drink, this indicated that he was rejecting the bride. If after the viewing both parties are ready for marriage, then an engagement was concluded.

Interesting folk traditions for matchmaking:

*Mourning of the bride’s braid was carried out just before the engagement. The braid was a symbol of unmarried freedom, and the bride and her bridesmaids mourned this freedom. This custom has been preserved since pagan times, when after marriage the husband cut his wife’s braid and thus gave it to the bride’s family as a sign of kinship.
*After the engagement has been concluded, the bride's family must pay a return visit to the groom's house to evaluate the household.
*Sing it out - another interesting one folk tradition, which is little observed today, but is colorful and interesting in itself. After agreeing on the wedding date, the guy and the girl were put together for the first time and on a bearskin. This ceremony was carried out so that the young would have many children.

Do you need gifts for matchmaking?

In the old days, it was believed that the future mother-in-law should be given a scarf, and the reconciliation and other relatives should be given a piece of flax. Nowadays, you can choose gifts yourself depending on financial situation families.

So what can we say?

Nowadays, of course, the young people themselves get to know each other first, and when they decide to get married, they already introduce their parents. This is called matchmaking. On this day, the bride's parents can ask the groom about plans for the future, about what he sees future family, about his habits and preferences in life. When they get married.

When meeting the groom's parents, the bride is advised to remain silent. The conversation should be controlled by the elders at the table, that is, the parents. You should eat and drink less, of course, don’t worry. Talk to parents respectfully and do not interfere in conversations with elders. Today you are turning into children again and it is your parents who are in charge. That's what matchmaking is for.

Matchmaking on the part of the bride, you already know what to say and do. You can try to do everything not cutesy, but with a folk Russian scope. Each matchmaking tradition is bright and interesting; it will definitely help you remember this important day of meeting your relatives for many years.