Words of condolences to the relatives of the deceased in prose. How to Express Condolences on a Death Sincerely and Tactfully

Hello dear readers. Each of us has faced a situation where it was vital to support a loved one who had experienced loss. And there is no such person who would not think about how to express condolences over a death.

What are condolences

How to convey to a person that you sympathize with him, worry and are simply ready to support with all your might? What are condolences, and what should not be said? Let's try to figure it out.

Let's start with a definition. On the one hand, words of grief are an expression of moral support for a person experiencing grief. On the other hand, it is the duty of a person present at a funeral or death anniversary, an unshakable rule of etiquette that should be observed.

Fact. On the day of mourning, everyone, regardless of desire, must say these two words: “my condolences.”

Funeral words should not offend, offend, or evaluate the current situation. Their main role is sympathy, simple and human. It is not necessary to write poetry, long obituaries and make sentimental speeches about the deceased. Your task is to provide support to relatives - moral, financial, physical.

In addition, one must realize that the burial rite is not only a symbolic farewell to another world, but also a very troublesome matter, requiring physical and financial assistance, because organizing an entire funeral procession is not so easy.

That is why the envelope with a small amount money given to a person who has lost loved one, will become so-called humanitarian aid.

Words of sorrow on the occasion of death

Condolences for the death of a Muslim should contain the following words: “may Allah send you patience”, “may Allah forgive your deceased”, “may Allah grant you happiness to your home in exchange for grief.”

Words of grief in this faith also imply instructions, prayers for forgiveness, parting words and wishes for earthly blessings in return for the grief that has overtaken the family.

When talking about the death of a father or mother, you can use established phrases:

1. This loss is irreplaceable for all of us. The loss of such support, reliable and so close, is always difficult to accept.
2. accept mine sincere condolences. I knew your father (mother), he was very good man. We will never forget him, his memory will be eternal.
3. There are no words to express my sorrow. This is terrible, and losing such a person is like losing a piece of your soul, your heart. Hang in there, we are with you.

It is especially difficult to find words of sympathy for a person who has lost his child - a son or daughter. What can you say other than “Be strong”? Maybe something like this:

This is a terrible shock for us. I can't believe he/she left so early. It was so early for him to leave this world, but time does not spare anyone. If there is heaven in the world, then let him go there. He deserves better.

Advice. Common phrases exist so that you can compose your monologue, short but meaningful in meaning. These are, first of all, templates that are designed to help those who find it difficult to express their thoughts on this matter.

Condolences on the death of husband, father

Any tragically cut short life causes pain and bitterness in the hearts of people. When expressing grief to people who have lost their husband or father, you must understand who this person was to his family:

1. It is very difficult to accept such a loss, my husband is an unbreakable support, the head, and it so happened that he is no longer with us all. Patience, my dears, strength. We offer our condolences.
2. Please accept our deepest condolences and help, symbolic, but still. Such a terrible tragedy has come to your home, may God give you strength and peace to your home.
3. Eternal memory to him... What a man, what a personality. He was truly amazing and sincere, may he rest in peace, we will miss him very much.

Well, let’s say these are roughly the words of grief spoken to loved ones in need of support.

Remember, these are just general examples of how to speak at funerals and on days of mourning. Along with such phrases, as a rule, you should offer an envelope with cash. Let this help be even a symbolic drop in the ocean, but the sea consists of drops like these.

Don’t be afraid to hug a person, offer a scarf, or bring carnations to the altar of the deceased. Every step of an attempt to get closer and help a person will echo in him an echo of kindness and warmth. The grieving person needs support more than any words, no matter how harmonious and beautiful they may be.

Mourning clothes

When entering a house where mourning is taking place, according to the rules of etiquette, men are supposed to take off their hats; this rule does not apply to women. Also take care of your appearance. Discreet, without rhinestones, crystals or bright prints, floor-length black dresses are perfect for such an evening.

Open neckline is not allowed, bright makeup, and men are supposed to dress in formal suits; dull sweaters and shirts are allowed.

Advice. Sometimes appearance a person speaks more than his words. Vulgar appearance is not allowed for girls or adult ladies. Be modest, decent, speak in a calm, quiet voice, and keep banal valerian tablets in your purse.

A funeral or death anniversary can be calm and civilized, or extremely emotional.

What not to say on a day of mourning

If we make a top list of the most stupid and inappropriate phrases regarding a death or death anniversary, then the honorable first place will be taken by an expression like: “How are you?” Do you agree?

Second place will be given to the remark: “This was to be expected” or “It was predetermined by fate.”

Stupid phrases like “That’s life” and “We’ll all be there.” Hearing this is not the most pleasant thing for a person in mourning. And to say something like that should be enough courage and shamelessness, but even such amazing people are located.

Do not show excessive concern for a person who is in a mourning mood. Let him be with his thoughts, cry, say goodbye to the deceased and just come to his senses.

Expressing words of sorrow in a letter

In the age of high industry, you don’t have to empty your wallet for a carrier pigeon. It is enough to write an SMS or a letter: short, but conveying the meaning of your words.

This way you will remind them of yourself, show how you care and sympathize. Even a small SMS message will be a good message and good support.

In such a message it is necessary to contain very briefly succinct phrases. For example:

Please accept my condolences, this is a great tragedy. I am with you in thought, hugging, kissing.

Messages of this kind can be sent to a friend, a colleague, a mother, or a grandfather.

But if you decide to write an entire memoir about your grief, then prepare pen and ink; the speech should uncompromisingly express your experiences.

Sample text letters may contain the following expressions:

When I found out what happened, I couldn’t hold back my tears. There are no words to express the pain of loss. I am sincerely sorry that such a long distance separates us, and I cannot support you personally, just hug you at such a difficult moment in life. I hope that your closest people are with you now and they are supporting you.

If you invest a pair of three banknotes, I think this letter will further express your sincere feelings and show that you support the person dear to you with all your might.

How Orthodox Christians Express Condolences

Orthodoxy believes in an afterlife - where both hell and heaven exist. Every person, professing Orthodoxy, hopes to go to heaven to the Lord God himself, therefore, if you express words of sorrow and condolences Orthodox person, the following expressions would be quite appropriate:

• May he rest in peace;
• May God grant you patience and all the best;
• The Lord is generous and merciful, may He forgive our sins;
• sleep well, may God rest his soul.

Be punctual, behave naturally and politely. Sign of support and good attitude- this is your attention. In this way, you show your reluctance to remain on the sidelines when grief occurs to your loved ones.

I hope this article was helpful to you. Do not write long obituaries - speak sincerely and from the heart. Share this farewell message with your friends and loved ones on social networks. Subscribe to our blog updates. All the best!

Condolences regarding death are usually expressed in few words. But sometimes it can be unbearably difficult for us to find even these few phrases. Any words seem empty and banal, we are afraid to open fresh wounds in the hearts of family and friends who have just lost dear person. However, it is worth gathering your strength, finding simple and delicate words of sympathy that will sound informal, sincere and heartfelt. It’s not for nothing that they say: “A grief shared is half a grief.”

The words “condolence”, “sympathy”, “empathy” speak for themselves. We say them to share the pain of loss with the loved ones of the deceased, to make it clear that we are also shocked by the sad news, that we mourn and grieve with them. Condolence is not only words of sympathy and consolation, but also presence nearby, readiness to help. Sometimes, to express empathy, it is enough to sincerely hug the mourner, take their hand and be silent for a few moments, or even cry together.

You might find some tips useful:

1. There is no need to come up with any special, ornate and pretentious phrases. They may sound false and insincere. No need to talk at length. Protracted condolences can only bring tears to a person who has not yet come to terms with the bitterness of loss.
2. When choosing words of condolences, think about how you feel in connection with the sad event, who the deceased was for you, what good and warm memories are associated with him. Don't be shy to show your feelings. And do not forget to offer all possible assistance to the family of the deceased.
3. Pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased person, ask God to grant strength of spirit and consolation to his family. Surely, after this there will be no need to come up with sincere and heartfelt phrases of sympathy. They will come on their own.
4. When expressing condolences, try to speak with restraint and calmly, do not cry or lament. An outburst of your emotions can cause a response in the grieving person, exacerbating his grief and mental suffering.
5. When you come to the house of the deceased for a condolence visit, you should not ask in detail about the reasons for what happened, argue that the tragedy could have been prevented in one way or another, or look for “positive” moments in death (for example, say: “he’s better off, he suffered.” , - if a person died from a serious illness).
6. The phrases “I understand how hard it is for you”, “I know how bitter it is for you” - may sound insincere. You cannot know the depth of another person's suffering. It would be more correct to say: “I am shocked by this sad news”, “I sympathize with you”, “this is also a heavy loss for me”, “I mourn with you”.
7. You should not console the grieving person with the future. The words: “you will still have children”, “you are young, you will get married”, “time heals everything”, “don’t be sad, everything will pass, everything will be fine” and the like are not only stupid, empty and insincere, but also tactless . In the acute stage of grief, a person is simply unable to think about the future; any statements on this topic seem like a betrayal and cause mental pain.
8. Wishes: “try to take care of yourself”, “go to work as soon as possible”, “I hope you can come to terms with the loss”, “I wish you to come to your senses as soon as possible” - also sound formal, ridiculous and tactless.
9. It is advisable to express condolences on the occasion of death verbally. It is acceptable to say words of empathy and consolation over the phone, in a letter or an SMS message if, for one reason or another, you cannot attend the funeral ceremony.
10. If you are close to the family of the deceased, but were unable to attend the funeral, visit them as soon as possible and offer words of sympathy. This is usually done within one and a half to two weeks after the funeral. But not in the first three days.
11. Relatives and close friends usually come to the house of the deceased for a condolence visit before the funeral; colleagues, classmates, classmates and distant acquaintances say words of sympathy at the farewell ceremony or after the funeral dinner.

How to properly express condolences in connection with a death:

relatives

• Maria Andreevna, please accept our condolences. Roman was a very dear and close person to us. It's hard to believe what happened. We share your loss and mourn with you. Tell me, how can we help?
• Petr Ivanovich, Tamara Igorevna, we sympathize with you. This bitter news shocked us. Nikolai was the soul of our team, one of the best. Please accept help.
• Irina Petrovna, Alexander Ivanovich, Oleg, our condolences. Vasily Alexandrovich was bright and sincere person, he supported me more than once in word and deed. For me this is an irreparable loss. I pray for the repose of the soul of Vasily Alexandrovich together with you. Let me be there and share the sad troubles in these difficult days. How can I help?

loved ones

• I sympathize with you, Andrey, Olga. What happened seems unthinkable, impossible. We're close were friends with Larisa, and it will be difficult for me to come to terms with this unfair loss. Larisa was not just for me soulmate- a dear person. Tell me, how can I be useful these days?
• Please accept our condolences. For us, the departure of Igor Nikolaevich is also a huge loss. We will always remember Igor Nikolaevich as a bright and sincere person. We mourn and pray for the repose of his soul. Let me be with you in these sad days. We are ready to provide any assistance.
• Elena Petrovna, allow me to share the severity of your loss and help organize the funeral. The fact that Alexander left so suddenly is very difficult news, which the mind refuses to believe. Sasha and I are school friends. He was a sympathetic person, a wonderful friend and class leader. It was only thanks to Sasha that we, classmates, did not lose each other over all the past years. We mourn with you.

family

• Timofey Ilyich, Anna Mikhailovna, I sincerely sympathize with you. For me, Mary’s death is also an unbearable grief. Masha valued her family very much. And for me, your home has always been home. Let me continue to visit you. How can I help you?
• Nikolai Ivanovich, Elena Alexandrovna, I sympathize with your misfortune. Unfortunately, we did not know you during Alexander’s lifetime. He spoke so warmly and lovingly about you, and was proud that he had such wonderful parents. Alexander will forever remain in my memory as a true friend and an incredibly positive person. It's impossible to believe he's gone. Let me help with the funeral.
• We understand that there are no words that could console you today, Marina Vladimirovna. We are colleagues and subordinates of Timur Andreevich. Your husband was a bright person, a wise mentor, a fair leader, supported and helped in everything... It will not be easy for us to come to terms with the death of Timur Andreevich. Let me share your grief, help and be in these times. difficult days near.

What words to express condolences in prose

How to express condolences to a mother

• Dear Anna Fedorovna, I sincerely sympathize with your grief. For me, your daughter was more than just a friend - a family and close person. The memory of Lyudmila is in my heart forever. Let me be with you in these difficult days.
• Irina Ivanovna, please accept our condolences. It’s impossible to believe and come to terms with it, it’s painful to say... In loving memory of Andrei. You can always count on our help.
• Maria Alexandrovna, dear, I sympathize with you with all my heart. Your son was a reliable friend and a warm person. I understand: any words today will not diminish your grief. Let me share the bitterness of loss with you and be close to you. Ready to provide any help.

How to express condolences to a friend

• Nadyusha, how painful and bitter it is - I can’t express it. Your mom was a close person to me too. Be strong, my dear. And just know: I'm always there.
• I mourn and cry with you, Anechka. Such unexpected and terrible news... Lydia Petrovna was unusually sincere and loving woman. How impossible it is to talk bitterly about your mother in the past tense... Let me share the grief with you and help.
• My condolences, dear. For me, the death of Pyotr Andreevich is also a heavy loss. Your dad was a man of great soul. I will always remember him with gratitude. Ready to help with anything.

How to Express Condolences to a Colleague

• Kirill, please accept my sincere condolences. I know that my mother’s passing is the most bitter loss. And any words are powerless here. Blessed memory of Tatyana Ivanovna. Be strong.
• Anton, our condolences. We understand how hard it is for you to experience the death of your brother. Please accept our help.
• Irina, we sincerely share your grief; this is a very difficult loss for you. We remember how cordially your husband received us as guests... We mourn with you. We are ready to help with organizing the funeral and memorial dinner.

How to express condolences in writing

• Dear Antonina Vasilievna! I deeply regret and mourn the passing of your mother. Irina Semenovna was amazingly friendly, responsive and wise woman. It’s bitter to say “was”... I think many will remember your mother with warmth and gratitude. Ready to help with the funeral. Please write how I can be of assistance.
• Dear Andrey Ivanovich! All of us, employees of Garant LLC, sincerely sympathize with you. Blessed memory, your father Ivan Ivanovich. Strength of spirit to you and your family. We will forever remember our Ivan Ivanovich as a true master of his craft, a true professional, a sensitive, responsive, great-hearted person.
• Our condolences, dear Alexandra Petrovna and Valery Vasilievich! Coming to terms with Andrei's death will not be easy for all of us. He was always open, honest, very positive person. He helped many of us out of difficult life situations. We will all remember your son with light and gratitude. We are ready to offer any help.

How to express condolences via SMS

• Alexander, shocked by the bitter news. Be strong. We will come to you immediately.
• Dear Lydia Andreevna, please accept my condolences. We cry and mourn with you. We'll be with you tomorrow.
• Tatyana, Igor, what sad news... My condolences with all my heart. Unfortunately, I will not be able to be with you in these sorrowful days; my mother is seriously ill. Be strong, dear ones.

Poem to express condolences

Muslims, like people of other faiths, feel pain, bitterness, sadness and also cry when losing loved ones. However, they have a slightly different worldview, a different attitude towards life and death, different traditions and customs. Sorrowful emotions in the Muslim world are not usually expressed openly. This means that words of condolences sound different.

It is impossible to prepare for death. Every person has experienced the loss of loved ones, family members, so many people are familiar with the pain of loss.

But often we do not know how to reassure and support the grieving person, how to express words of condolences in connection with the death of his loved ones.

note! Condolences should be offered to a grieving person in mandatory. This is a tribute.

But it is worth remembering that after the death of loved ones, people are in a stressful, shock state. Words of condolences regarding death are chosen carefully and carefully.

Examples of condolences on the occasion of death in your own words to the relatives of the deceased:

1. “I was shocked by the event. It is difficult to accept and come to terms with.
2. “Let me share the pain of loss with you.”
3. “The news of his death was a terrible blow.”
4. “I sympathize with your pain.”
5. “We are sorry for your loss.”
6. “My condolences.”
7. “I was shocked by his death. I will pray for his soul."
8. “The deceased meant a lot to us, it’s a pity that he left us.”
9. “Grief cannot be expressed in words, but you can always count on our support in difficult times.”
10. "We mourn with you."

Sometimes it is better to briefly express grief.

Short and sincere words sympathy:

1. "Hold on."
2. “Be strong.”
3. "I'm sorry".
4. "My condolences".
5. "Sorry".
6. "It's a tough loss."

If the person grieving deeply believes in God, then the following words of sorrow are spoken:

1. "The Kingdom of heaven".
2. "Rest in peace".
3. “Lord, rest with the Saints!”
4. "May peace be upon his ashes."
5. "Rest in the Kingdom of Heaven."

Table: rules for presenting words of condolences

What not to say

Everyone wants to support the bereaved. But there are a number of words and expressions that are not appropriate at a funeral. Expressions can cause anger, aggression, resentment.

What not to do:

1. Comfort with the future. When your baby dies, don’t say “you’re still young, give birth again.” It's tactless.

   Parents find it difficult to accept loss own child, because they rejoiced at him, dreamed of the future.

   The words “don’t worry, you’re young, you’re still getting married” sound “like saying goodbye to your beloved.” It's cruel. For people who have lost children, spouses, parents at the time of their funeral, there is no future.

   They are not ready to think about it. Their pain at the time of loss is intense and painful.

2. Look for the extreme. If there is a culprit in the death, do not remind about it. It is forbidden to say what would have happened if they had acted differently. It is not recommended to blame the deceased.

   Examples: “it was his own fault, he drank a lot of alcohol,” “this is his punishment for his sins.” Do not defame the memory of the deceased, because it is not for nothing that they say that one should only speak well of the dead.

3. Ask you to stop crying. The mourner must mourn the deceased and calm the soul.

Prohibited phrases:

1. « Death has taken its toll, don't shed your tears" A person in a phase of acute shock does not completely understand what happened, that his loved one has passed away forever. Such words sound cruel.
2. « Don't worry, everything will work out" - sounds like a fairy tale or a cruel mockery. The person is not ready to accept such a statement; he does not believe that the pain will go away and life will get better.
3. « Time cures" Even time cannot heal mental wounds. The pain of loss will always be there. Any person who has experienced death will confirm this.
4. « So he suffered, he feels good there" If the deceased was very ill, then words are unlikely to calm the mourner.

   He has one desire - to see his loved one nearby, and not to think that he is happy in heaven.

5. « Think about it, it’s even worse for others, at least you still have family" Don't use comparisons. Respect the person's pain.
6. « I understand how much it hurts" is a common and tactless phrase. Understanding a mourner is difficult.

Never devalue a loss with the words “it’s good that you weren’t hurt”, “think about your children, parents”, etc.

For those who mourn, death is a shock to life. He is not ready to look for positive aspects in the loss of loved ones.

Important! It is worth remembering that condolences are offered from the heart. But this does not mean that you are allowed to say whatever comes to mind.

Grieving people do not perceive reality well, their subconscious is clouded with grief and resentment, so you should not provoke the person.

During the shock phase, one should not be interested in the details of the death of the deceased.

Condolences in writing

Don't condole:

• In verse.
• By SMS.

This is neglect. A funeral is not a place for poetry, and it is better to replace an SMS with a phone call. If you can’t call, you can express your condolences in writing.

Sample text:

• « We deeply mourn the death of the deceased. He was amazing, kind and well-mannered person, surprised with his joy and spontaneity.

  It’s difficult to write, my hand can’t hold a pen due to grief, but I still have to. We are sorry that this happened, but we are happy that fate brought us together with such an amazing person. Peace be upon him on earth and in heaven.”

• « The news of the loss struck my mind. I convey my condolences and express my deep respect to the deceased.”
• « It’s difficult to find words when a storm and the bitterness of loss are raging in your soul.. I can't believe this happened. Our condolences. We are praying for him."

Choose sensitive phrases that do not go beyond morality. The text should briefly acknowledge the loss and support the relatives of the deceased.

When writing a letter to relatives, describe the memories associated with it. When writing a text to a colleague, remember his business and personal qualities.

Useful video

Related Posts

When difficult news of loss comes to a family or circle of loved ones, relatives, friends, colleagues, one should remember the need for support and delicacy. It is very bitter to lose your loved ones, but it is necessary to find the strength within yourself to find the words to express your sympathy and condolences in connection with the death of a loved one.

How to properly offer condolences, talk about how they loved the deceased, what kind of human qualities especially appreciated and respected for what?

Funeral speech

Farewell words at a funeral should be concise and logically structured. No matter how difficult they are to pronounce, they should not be unprepared, slurred, or excessively confusing. This may be perceived as disrespect for the deceased. That's why It’s worth thinking about the words that will be heard during funerals and farewells in advance., highlight the main points in it, draw up a diagram of the funeral speech. Its main parts and examples are given below:

Main parts of a funeral speech

1. Address to the guests gathered at the funeral
   “Dear family and friends of (name of the deceased)…”, “Dear guests!”, “Loved ones and relatives...”.
2. Introducing yourself, indicating the degree of relationship with the deceased.
   "My name is ( given name), (name of the deceased) and I were colleagues (friends, etc.) for ... years", "We were neighbors with...", "Dad was...".
3. Memories of a tragic event and short story about your own experiences, about your pain.
   “We met him just yesterday...”, “40 days have already passed since...”, “He has not been with us for a year...”.
4. Characteristics of the deceased.
   “He always smiled...”, “He fought for life until the end...”, “He taught me...”.
5. Condolences or customary funeral words.
   “My sincere condolences...”, “May the earth rest in peace,” “Eternal memory,” “Rest in peace.”

When remembering a deceased person, you should not retell his biography at the funeral. You can say a few words about any significant episode of life, interesting fact, which reflect the dignity of the deceased. It is worth focusing the attention of people gathered at the funeral on the quality that is highly valued. It is better to remain silent about negative traits, sins, weaknesses, and ambiguous attitudes towards the deceased, following the Russian proverb “It’s either good or nothing about the deceased.”

Words of grief must come from the heart. Here is an example of a funeral speech delivered adopted daughter Alexandra Abdulov Ksenia Alferova:

“How grateful I am to God and fate that you were in my life. You are not my real dad - I, however, have never felt this. When I found out about this, I was terribly upset. I thought it was some kind of injustice - he should have native child and by the end of his life he, or rather, she appeared! At first I was happy, and then I was afraid that you would no longer need me. I now realized that this was stupid, I realized that you needed me no less than I needed you... It’s a pity that you understand such things too late.”

Examples of short verbal condolences

When choosing words of grief intended for well-known relatives of the deceased, it is worth thinking over a deeply personal, sympathetic phrase. Words must be sincere and delicate. In moments of bitter loss, at a funeral, the feeling of falsehood turns out to be heightened.

The choice of words and format of verbal condolences depends on the circumstances. If not going narrow circle relatives and friends of the deceased, the speech can be especially heartfelt and personal.

If a person is going to see him off on his last journey a large number of people, then brief expressions of condolences are more appropriate, because words of sympathy and sorrow should have time to be uttered by all those gathered.

Here are examples of such words:

• We all hurt, but it’s worse for you than anyone. If I can help you, please contact me right away.
• Be strong. We mourn with you.
• I sincerely sympathize with your loss.
• Our family feels very sorry for you. With the passing of (name of the deceased), we lost a piece of ourselves.
• (Name of the deceased) was such a wonderful person, we always followed his example. He will forever remain in our hearts.
• What a loss! I pray for (name of deceased).
• (Name of the deceased) did so much for me, I will never forget him. I sincerely sympathize with you.

Funeral speech

To commemorate the deceased, it is customary to gather a circle of relatives and people close to him on and through. The words spoken at a wake are traditionally imbued with warmth and light sadness. At a wake they talk about a deceased person, they remember various stories and cases from life.

• Funeral speeches, as well as funeral speeches at a funeral, are drawn up according to the classical plan. At the same time, we must not forget about the need to declare a minute of silence in memory of the deceased. The role of the manager, who announces it and also gives the floor to those gathered in turn, is usually taken on by a person close to the family of the deceased.
• According to tradition, the words of the funeral speech are first spoken by the people closest to the deceased person - parents, spouses, children, brothers and sisters, and then friends and colleagues. The host should always have a few appropriate phrases prepared in case the performance of one of the guests is interrupted by crying.
• Funeral words are always pronounced standing. Their the main task– to revive bright memories of the deceased in the memory of those gathered.

Here is an example of the words of a memorial speech on behalf of children remembering their father:

“Father has always been a wonderful example not only for all of us, but also for many people around him. From him we learned to see and distinguish true life values, to give kindness to others. Many people who knew him admired his bright soul. We believe that our father left us too early. Eternal memory to him!”

Poems and toasts

At a funeral, poetry is categorically inappropriate, while at a wake - on the 9th or 40th day, a year after death, poetry can sound more sincere and heartfelt than ever. Poems in these cases are acceptable, but carefully and in moderation, and it is better if they are of your own composition.

Mourning is said at the table. They should not relate exclusively to the personality of the deceased. Guests making toasts can express words of sympathy and grief for all the dead.

Here are examples of poems and toasts:

You died too early

Words cannot express our pain.

Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound,

The memory of you is always alive.

My soul is worried without you,

You don't need girlfriends or friends.

Why is it possible without millions?

Why is it impossible without one?

“Friends, today is a day of sorrow. There was a time when we had fun and rejoiced with someone who left us. But today you and I drink this cup of sorrow, seeing off a person close to us on his last journey. But we will keep in our hearts the good memory of our friend, having hope for new meeting in a new place. Let's drink to the dregs for this!

loss of a loved one

Condolences on the occasion of death will show true empathy for the loss of a person who is experiencing great shock and needs moral support. Death is always around us, but we notice it only when it knocks on our house or the house of a truly loved one. Such a death takes you by surprise and no one is ever prepared for the fact that on that day they lost someone dear to them. As Bulgakov once noted in his immortal masterpiece, the problem is not that man is mortal. the main problem is that he is suddenly mortal.

Texts of condolences

• I mourn your loss. I know this is a hard blow for you
• We offer our sincere condolences to all family and friends
• I was told that your brother died. I'm very sorry, I mourn with you
• A wonderful man has passed away. I send my condolences to you and your entire family at this sad and difficult moment.
• This tragedy has hurt all of us. But of course, it affected you the most. My condolences
• I understand how difficult it is to lose a loved one. I'm really sorry. Perhaps I can help you with something now?
• Sincere condolences to family and friends. Big loss for us. Her memory will be in our hearts. We mourn together with our families.
• Please accept our sincere condolences. May God reward her in heaven for all the good she did. She is and will remain in our hearts...
• We offer you and your entire family our deepest condolences on your tragic death... We share your grief and offer you words of support and consolation. We pray for the deceased... With condolences,...
• Sincere condolences to the family and friends of the untimely departed... from our entire family. It is very bitter to lose your loved ones, family and friends, and doubly bitter if the young, beautiful and talented leave us. May God rest his soul.
• Everyone who knew him is grieving now, because such a tragedy cannot leave anyone indifferent. I understand how difficult it is for you right now. I will never be able to forget him and I assure you that I will support you in every possible way, should you contact me.
• We mourn with you the untimely passing of... Over the years of our friendship, we knew him as.... This is a great loss for everyone, we express our sincere condolences to the parents, all relatives and friends. May God bless his soul.
• They say they love their grandchildren even more than their children. And we felt this love of our grandmother (grandfather) to the fullest. Their love will warm us all our lives, and we, in turn, will pass on a piece of this warmth to our grandchildren and great-grandchildren - may the sun of love never fade...
• There is nothing worse and more painful than losing a child. It is impossible to find such words of support to ease your pain even a little. One can only imagine how difficult it is for you right now. Please accept our sincere condolences on the death of your dear daughter.
• Dear... I may not have known your father very well personally, but I know how much he meant in your life, because you so often spoke about his love of life, sense of humor, wisdom, care for you... I think that many people will miss him grab I pray to God for you and your family.
• There are no words to express how deeply we mourn the death... . She was wonderful kind woman. We cannot even imagine how much of a blow her passing was for you. We miss her endlessly and remember how she once... She was a model of tact and mercy. We are happy that she was in our lives. You can count on our help at any moment.
• I am truly sorry for the loss of your dad. I express my sincere sympathy to all of you and know this is a very sad and sad time for you. I know from my own life how deep the loss is when you realize that he will no longer be in your life. I can tell you, the only thing that can help you get over your loss is your memories. Your father lived a long and full life and achieved a lot in his life. He will always be remembered as a hardworking, intelligent and loving man. My thoughts and prayers will be with you all. May you find solace in your family and friends who share your loss. My deepest condolences.

Condolences in verse

When parents leave
The light in the window fades forever.
Empty Father's house and maybe
I dream much more often.

* * *
Sleep, my angel, peacefully and sweetly.
Eternity will take you into its arms.
You held yourself with dignity and steadfastness
Survived these hellish torments.

* * *
On this day full of heartache,
We sympathize with your misfortune,
Our life, unfortunately, is not eternal,
Every day we are getting closer to the line...
Our condolences... Strength of spirit
We wish you at this moment,
May the earth rest in peace to those close to you,
May the Almighty protect you from troubles.

When you left, the light went dark,
And time suddenly stopped.
And they wanted to live together forever...
Well, why did this all happen?!

* * *
Thank you, dear, for being in the world!
Thank you for loving me.
For all the years that we lived together.
I ask you not to forget me.

We remember, dear, and mourn,
The wind blows coldly on my heart.
We love you forever,
No one will replace you for us.

* * *
How we loved - only the Gods know.
Only we knew how we suffered.
After all, we went through all the hardships with you,
But we could not step over death...

What does true empathy look like?

Real support should not resemble standard ritual phrases that are said just for the sake of saying. These phrases will not play a decisive role for anyone who has just lost the most dear person on the entire planet. How to express condolences on death? What rules should you follow so that your words of condolences regarding death are not perceived as words without meaning and content?

The first rule is: Don’t keep your feelings in your heart.

Did you come to the funeral? Come and describe what you feel now. Don't hold back your emotions and feelings. There is no need to be ashamed of what you feel. After all, it was not in vain that you came to this funeral and knew the person. Sometimes it is better to say a few kind words through tears and hug the relatives or loved ones of the deceased than to speak hundreds of words, playing the role of a great speaker. Nice words- this is what everyone is waiting for, from whom heaven has taken away a piece of their soul.

Second rule: Condolences about death are not just words.

Can't find the right words for this situation? Don't say too much. Sometimes it's better to just hug or touch the grieving person. Shake hands, cry next to you. Show that the person was not left alone in this grief. Show your grief as best you can. You shouldn’t do everything in a formulaic way and pretend that you’re very sorry if you’re not. A person will immediately understand where there will be falsehood and where true feelings and words. A simple handshake is good chance express condolences over the death for those who are not very close to the family of the deceased, but came to pay tribute by seeing the person off on his last journey.

Rule Three: Offer whatever help you can.

You shouldn’t limit yourself to just words of grief. Not only in word, but also in deed! This rule has always been relevant. You can offer your help to the family of the deceased. For example, a mother with children could lose their sole breadwinner, which means that all these people become victims of deteriorating financial conditions. It is not necessary to help with money. If you can help in another way, offer to help. Such a move will only confirm that you are helping not only with words, but also with deeds. Don't turn your condolences into dead sentences with your words. Back them up with action. Even banal help in organizing a funeral can become very valuable in the eyes of a grieving person who received a blow below the belt so unexpectedly. Do good deeds and they will be appreciated more than just words.

Fourth rule— Pray for the deceased along with people who have lost a loved one.

Sincere prayer can be seen from afar - this is what all priests and monks say. This is exactly what should be done in the case of condolences. After a few words, the grieving person should pray for the deceased along with the one who is now experiencing the loss. Prayer calms all believers and will bring at least a little harmony into the wounded heart of the grieving person. Prayer distracts even from the greatest grief. Ask God for consolation for those who are suffering severe torment and do not understand why fate took a loved one from them. Prayer will not take much time, but will leave great experience from those who are now standing in front of you in black clothes and calling on heaven for help and asking for a logical explanation.

Fifth rule - Remember everything positive that you know about the deceased.

In order to say real words of consolation, you need to remember all the best things that connect you with him. Did you play football together as a child? Come and tell me that you couldn't find a better teammate. Did he save your dog? Did you let me cheat in class or in university classes? Remember this too. Mentioning original moments from the life of the deceased will only make loved ones smile. If a smile does not appear on your face, it will be in your soul. The deceased could teach you a lot and bring you joy. Share your memories and in a few minutes you will do the impossible - give a spark of joy to those who are now grieving. Were bad relationship with a person who left this world? Then you should understand that people close to him are not to blame for the small disagreements between you. Forget about all the problems that have happened so far, because when trouble knocks on the door, you should forget about everything.

Rule six: Don’t talk about how things will be easier in the future.

Don't tell parents who have lost their child that they still have plenty of time to create another one. small miracle. They should not give hope that time will subsequently heal all wounds, because it is at this moment that it seems to them that life will no longer be the same as always. This is precisely the greatest truth of life - everyone understands that life without a loved one will no longer be the same as before his death. Everyone who is now crying at a funeral has just lost their little piece of their soul. A woman who has lost her husband should not be told that she is a real goddess and will definitely not be on her own in this life. Condolences for the death of mom or dad should also not contain calls for future peace and consolation. Let the person grieve the loss and don't talk about future prospects. Any words about the future will be superfluous, since no one believes in it now and will not see the picture you paint.

Seventh rule: Don’t say that everything will pass. Don't say that you shouldn't cry and grieve.

Most people who say these things have never lost a loved one. Just yesterday a person kissed in bed and drank morning dark tea with his beloved, and in the evening she may no longer be in this world. Just yesterday children quarreled with their parents, but tomorrow they may not be there. Just yesterday there was a party with friends, and tomorrow one of them may be taken away by the sky. And the understanding that you can’t bring your loved one back is the worst thing that can happen in this life. Therefore, there is no need to say that crying will not help here. There is no need to say that you shouldn’t grieve and “destroy” yourself morally so much. There is no need to play the role of a psychologist and get into psychological condition a person in grief. The first person who says that there is no point in crying only proves that he does not understand the mourner. There is no way to bypass serious stress - just let a person cry who cannot understand why he has now lost the meaning of his life.

Eighth rule - Forget about empty words, among which the most popular phrase is “Everything will be fine”!

Don't make promises you can't keep. Do not talk about optimistic plans for a person, because he will not perceive it the way you want to present it. A person does not want to hear platitudes and excuses that are so formal that they have become traditional. It is better to help with deeds, rather than saying traditional phrases from films where the main characters are often buried.

Ninth rule - Don't be shy about your feelings!

You came to a funeral, not a holiday. Therefore, be prepared that you will want to hug the relatives of the deceased even when you do not know them at all. In grief, everyone is the same. Don’t be shy about feelings that can cover you in a big wave. Do you want a hug? Hug! Would you like a handshake or a touch on the shoulder? Do it! Did a tear roll down your cheek? Don't turn away. Swipe it away. May you be one of those who came to this funeral for a reason. You have come to a loved one who deserves this.

The main conclusion that can be drawn, taking these rules into account, is that you should avoid cliched words of condolences to the relatives of the deceased and actions that will not bring any benefit. Tactless phrases will not give any benefit. There are words that only once again will cause misunderstandings on the other side, not to mention possible aggression, insult or even disappointment. Perhaps you were a close person to the deceased, and now you are not behaving as his family expects. You must enter the state of shock in which the person is now. Put yourself in the place of the grieving person and then you will understand how to behave correctly. Do not forget that everything you say may not be perceived as it sounds in your mouth. The psychological burden on those who lose a loved one is incredibly large and this is the decisive moment.

What can you offer a grieving person at a funeral?

Ask how you can help. Perhaps the matter will not be in the material dimension at all, although money in this case is never superfluous. The family of the deceased may entrust you to go to the priest or simply agree on the purchase and transportation of the coffin. A small favor to the family who is currently in difficult condition, will not be superfluous. Indeed, at this moment, none of the deceased’s relatives can adequately assess the situation and their thoughts are not at all about the problematic aspects of organizing a funeral. Have you heard that even after a murder, friends of the deceased say that they must first bury him with honors, and only then look for the killer? The point is that the etiquette of expressing condolences is very interconnected with funerals. Do your best to make sure this funeral goes well, because every person deserves to pass away with the respect of others.

Offer your help in any way. Help will be received well in any case, and even if you are refused, they will still be pleased. Even ordering memorial cards for invitations to funerals or helping to accommodate guests from distant cities in your home would be a wonderful service. Just don’t talk about everything in such a tone as if you are offering just for the sake of simply offering. Offer specific help and receive real gratitude.

Be concise, like King Leonidas when he addresses the Spartans!

Words of condolences should be kept short. No one should speak for long because funerals are not the place for great speakers. Leave thousands of words to the priest who will perform the funeral service for the deceased. Keep it short and say exactly what you think. You should also not speak for a long time at a wake, since too heavy phrases cause distraction and lose their meaning. Don't be afraid to experiment in front of the mirror with a few phrases that you have prepared for yourself. Warm and sincere words are usually very short, like a declaration of love. Love needs no words, and the deceased is worth only a few sincere sentences. Do not forget that it is easy to feel false condolences, since at such times the relatives and friends of the deceased can boast of an increased sense of sincerity and falseness. Good words can heal the soul and heart of those who are hurt or heartbroken.

What should those who had a conflict with the deceased do? How to behave and do the relatives and friends of the deceased need condolences from such a person?

Find the strength within yourself to forgive the one who was carried away by the sky. After all, death is the end point of all grievances. If you have done something wrong to the deceased, come and pay tribute. Ask for forgiveness in prayer, even if you are not sure you will receive it. Speak sincerely and the relatives of the deceased will accept it with honor. Leave negativity and unnecessary emotions at home. Do not forget that all grievances die with the person. Do you really regret your fault or just respect your competitor in some way? Come and show him to his loved ones that he was so respected person that even his enemies came to honor his memory. Do you have a grudge against the deceased? Forgive and let go. Show this to his loved ones and they will be glad once again that you have forgiven.

Be original!

It's always better to come up with a few good phrases, which will be your own to say to the loved ones of the deceased. By coming up with these words, you can remember something from a person’s past. Perhaps you know something about him that others will not say. Perhaps you know something that your loved ones don’t know. Or perhaps your friend rarely told his parents that he loved them, but in fact he always noted to his friends that he had best parents in the world? Why don't you sympathize and remember this? Remember something interesting. Say something truly valuable to everyone.

What should you talk about during condolences?

Say that the person was not just good. Say that it is difficult to find words. Tell everyone what the dead man deserves more words than can be said now. Tell him he was talented. Good. Give examples that will confirm your words. Set him as an example to many present. Say that you loved the deceased person. Let everyone know he will be missed. Say that this is a tragedy for you. Tell us about what you are grateful for to the deceased and what exactly he did for you. Tell those present that the role of the deceased in your life was great or, on the contrary, not so great, but despite this the world has lost one of the best representatives of humanity. Take breaks. Allow yourself to choose your words. Let everyone see that it is really difficult for you to pick them up. Tell the truth!

Will so-called religious condolences always be appropriate?

Religious rhetoric will not always be helpful, since the deceased could be an atheist or profess a different faith. You should not use phrases taken from the Bible in all cases, because this may not please many who come. Make sure you can afford it. Only in this case can you turn your words about the deceased into quotes from the Bible and supplement them with sincere sympathy. Moreover, the deceased could be an agnostic, like the people grieving behind him. In this case, you should also not speak in religious phrases.

Is someone who has lost a loved one really a believer? Then you can correctly select phrases from the church sphere, having first studied all religious epitaphs more deeply. They can push you onto the right path and thoughts. Just don’t forget that there shouldn’t be too much religiosity. In this case, measures are needed more than ever.

Despite this, religious themes in condolences will not always be good option and it is not without reason that most people ignore it. It is better not to use biblical phrases, but to say in your own words what is in your soul right now.

Is it worth expressing condolences in the form of poetry?

Not at a funeral. Even if the mourner loves poetry, a funeral is far from the time to pay tribute to rhyme. Why so categorical? Funeral home experts know thousands of cases where such verses were too inappropriate, and there is one small reason for this. Poems of condolences regarding death are always perceived differently by people. 2 people can explain different ways one line of verse. One phrase can have different meanings depending on the poetry of the person listening. This is exactly the case when poems of grief and condolences are extremely common and popular, and the obituary in poetic form present a real risk of remaining misunderstood.

Is it worth writing an SMS with condolences?

Never write SMS in any form if we're talking about about the service that gives you the opportunity to send short message. Can't meet in person? It’s better to call yourself and don’t express sympathy in this way. After all, you don’t know at what exact moment this message may arrive, and its too short format makes the words too laconic. It will convey facts, not feelings. The person will not feel your voice. His timbre. Its emotional coloring. Moreover, messages in such cases are perceived poorly. Was it really difficult to call if you still found a minute to write a message? Perhaps you didn’t want to talk at all, but wrote a message just to forget about it once and for all and not feel guilty?

Let your condolences be sincere! These words are so necessary for those who have lost a loved one. They will be grateful to you!