Does a man's appearance matter? The appearance of a man, is it important for a woman? Does appearance matter to a man?

It is not difficult to answer this question, especially since we are all modern people and there is nothing special to hide here. Yes, appearance matters. I know that America was not discovered, and most likely you have already faced this problem. Now, so that everyone understands me correctly, I explain - we are not talking about handsome men. I'm talking about the fact that appearance, style and other non-spiritual attributes matter.

There is really one big, big BUT!
Everyone knows that "they are met by clothes." We (girls) are not particularly original and fully confirm this stereotype.

BUT: there are moments when a dude meets you absolutely does not correspond (at least approximately) to the ideal or type created in your head. But charisma / sense of humor / masculinity and any other qualities just go off scale for the norm, and the girl willy-nilly reconsiders those very “ideals and types”.

And when both non-spiritual and spiritual attributes of a dude fully correspond to the girl's passions (sometimes this happens), then in general, you can experience real ecstasy from how well everything has grown together.

There are, of course, moments that are valued regardless of appearance, despite the fact that formally they can be attributed to the same pile of "non-spiritual" attributes.
For example, grooming and cleanliness. And I'm not talking about metrosexuals now. Punks and all sorts of subcultural movements there are, of course, cool. But when the dude is thoroughly washed and smells delicious, not a single young lady can resist the opportunity to take a closer look at him. For if a guy is clean in body and finds time to rub his bodies in his soul with a washcloth, the girl, as if subconsciously, notes his self-organization.

To external purity, I and other girls will one hundred percent attribute:
- clean head
- unbitten nails without dirt
- clean shoes and clothes
- a pleasant smell (perfume really sometimes decides, because we are much more sensitive than guys)
- a clean face (pimples, blackheads and other sores can and should be treated).

I think that I didn’t write anything supernatural, because. a normal dude makes exactly the same demands on his potential or existing girlfriend. And if, by chance, it turned out that your super clean nails or powerful bitsuha didn’t suit her taste, urgently turn on all the fibers of the soul.

Things like:
- courage (if anything, protect from gopniks)
- masculinity (almost the same)
- the notorious charisma (you are the only one, everyone else is a gray mass)
- gallantry (open doors, pay the bill in a cafe, help put on a coat, etc.)
- sense of humor (joke, wit, humor)
- a sense of proportion
- self-esteem (being a heel is a failure ... Sometimes it's better to pretend that you don't care, and your friend will turn her attention to you herself).

Well, as my mother says: "for every seller there is a buyer." I personally add here: "each creature - a pair." And this means that if some girl did not appreciate you, there will definitely be one who will wildly trudge from your beard, for example).

Many insecure guys often wonder if I'm pretty enough to seduce girls? And they immediately take a step back. And in fact they It would be worth considering whether male beauty is so important for girls? And is it worth it to fear that your girlfriend will one day be taken away by some beefy macho? In this article we will talk about whether appearance is important for a man. And I will try to debunk those myths and stereotypes that may have already formed in your head.

Is appearance so important?

If you are afraid that your beautiful girlfriend will leave you for another, prettier guy, then it is completely in vain. She can leave you if you behave like a nerd, stop living up to her expectations, and suddenly someone will turn up who will be cooler and more confident than you. This will also happen if you do not observe the so-called balance of significance, which we have already spoken about. That is why she will go not to a more beautiful one, but to someone who seems to her more “a man” than you. However, this does not exclude at all that such a “brutal” cannot have a pumped-up body and an attractive appearance. And then she will definitely be lucky, but you, alas, no.

To feel more confident, you should take a pickup training. By enrolling in one of my courses, you will have access to an amazing tool that will give you everything you want.

You need to think not about your appearance, but about what is important for girls in a relationship. Although this does not at all relieve you of the obligation to simply monitor your appearance and look neat. Otherwise, your girlfriend will simply start to be shy of you in public, and it will not be easy to get acquainted with girls. The guy may not be handsome, but if he takes care of himself and dresses well, this is a plus for him. It can even smooth out some of the flaws in his figure.

What do women think about male appearance?

In principle, girls, of course, pay attention to appearance, but they do not attach as much importance to it as men do. And if you ask if the appearance of a girl is important for a man, then, as a rule, nine out of ten guys will put this criterion in the first place. But with the fair sex, the situation will be just the opposite. It goes without saying that there are not so many guys who can be called beautiful, but there is nothing wrong with that either. Usually such men choose the modeling business and do not always prefer communication with the opposite sex. That is why many girls have long decided for themselves that a guy should be a little prettier than a monkey. I'm exaggerating a little here, of course.

At all, it is impossible to say with absolute certainty that the appearance of a man is not important for a woman. Firstly, all ladies are different, and some really prefer handsome men. And secondly, the longing in a woman's heart for a beautiful and strong shoulder is still present. Therefore, a handsome macho, of course, attracts ladies' attention. And she will not even refuse to spend the night with him, but it is unlikely to build a relationship. Here, completely different criteria come to the fore: self-confidence, success, an interesting personality, a sense of humor and other truly masculine qualities. For comparison, I can say with confidence that five out of ten men are ready to marry a dumb and eccentric beauty.


A woman will never leave a man for a more beautiful opponent if he is a smart, charismatic and self-confident person. Here it can change, but it is unlikely to leave. But in both cases, you need to seriously mess up.

Does a person's appearance matter: common problems

Next, I will analyze a few banal situations that are found everywhere, and often ruin people's lives; and they are connected with the same question - is your appearance important to a man.

• A man meets a girlfriend who is younger than him, not by a year or two, but by five, ten and even fifteen. Over time, he develops a complex about his appearance - whether she will go to another who is younger and looks better. Here is one mistake after another. Firstly, if you have such a relationship, then she definitely didn’t choose you because of your appearance. Many young ladies want confidence in the future, they want to be taken care of, and therefore their peers pass by. And if she chose you, and you are fifteen years older than her, then definitely not because of her appearance - well, if not only because of her wallet. Secondly, if you yourself agreed to such a relationship, then be prepared for what they can lead to. If an eighteen-year-old person really loved you with all her heart, then there are no questions. Except for one thing - can an eighteen-year-old really fall in love? .. One piece of advice. If everything is fine with you and you are dating, then it is important that she continues to appreciate and respect you. And so that she is not disappointed in her choice, it is better to immediately abandon teenage habits, for example, fill up her SMS, call drunk, be jealous of every pole or wait at the entrance. After all, she was looking for a self-confident and accomplished man, and not an overgrown boy.
• Sometimes guys are faced with such a problem as whether appearance is important to a girl. It just happens that you meet a beauty, and she is just fixated on her appearance, constantly spinning at the mirror, picks up outfits in stores and only talks about it. What to do in this case? Never mind. This behavior is obvious from the start. And if you married such a person, and therefore found out about it, then I will be very surprised. Although no, you, like many, believed that everything would change, and your love would make a person out of her. Remember - you can't change anyone. By the tenth grade, people have almost completely formed as individuals. Men are still being formed by the army, but such a school of life has not been invented for girls. And because her mother and the street brought up, with such you and live.

• Well, the last question from the topic is whether the guy's appearance is important - in order to finally close it. I am often asked what to do if you meet a really beautiful girl? What if they take her away, all the beauties are always full of admirers and the guys stick to them. Besides, why did she choose me?.. Let's start with the last one. If she chose you, then it was for what. Therefore, there is no need to ask too many questions.. And if you start digging into your relationship, then she will really think - why did I choose him, such a fool? .. Will the beauty be taken away. In fact, there are far fewer people running after your friend than you think. And all because all the guys have stereotyped thinking, and they think the same way as you. They are simply afraid to approach them, because they believe that such girls are not for them, but for those who have a cool car and a lot of money in their account. And instead of coming up, they leave it for later, they say, I’ll save some money, dress up, take a better car or move from my parents. In short, a cloud of complexes.

So let's sum it up. Is appearance important for a pickup artist to successfully seduce girls? It is important, but it is far from the first place. Read my article "How to create yourself?" and then it will be enough for you to just have a good haircut and look neat, maybe even stylish. And everything else is already done by your masculine qualities and pickup skills.
If you want to know even more secrets to seduce girls

You can often hear the saying that the appearance of a man does not really matter to a woman, since in most cases they are more attracted to intelligence, masculine strength, and, of course, the fullness of his wallet, and the man himself should be a little prettier than a monkey. However, not everyone agrees with this statement, and the appearance of a man is very important, especially at the first meeting.

Most women consider beautiful men to be womanizers who are not capable of lasting feelings and faithful relationships. But when it comes to beautiful women, the opinion of the public tends more towards their merits and positive qualities. It is on this statement that most glossy magazines "make money" by "teaching" women to be beautiful.

However, a handsome, and most importantly, well-groomed man will be more desirable and attractive to a woman. The appearance of a man is generally very important at the first stage of a relationship, it is she who is the factor that affects the emergence of sympathy that provokes a man and a woman to look for opportunities to contact each other.

It should be noted that, probably, every man at least once asked women about the importance for them of the appearance of a man. There is no single answer to this question, and indeed it cannot be, since the criteria for a beautiful appearance are different for all people. Most often, people consider beautiful those people who are close to them in ethnic and national status, as well as similar to people from their immediate environment. Psychologists have proved the fact that only two features of a man's appearance are the same as beauty criteria for different cultures - this is height and muscle mass, while the rest of the features are strictly individual, and moreover, may vary depending on a particular country or city.

Nevertheless, in any society there are their own canons of beauty, that is, an attractive and handsome man seems so at once to many people living in the same area as him. At the same time, such generally recognized “handsome men” are very popular with the opposite sex. Naturally, in this situation, the question of the importance of the appearance of men for women becomes purely rhetorical.

But still, there is a big difference between recognizing a man as beautiful and wanting to have a love relationship with him. It turns out that men and women who choose handsome men as their second half have high self-esteem. Conversely, those who are not confident in themselves have low self-esteem, so they are more likely to choose someone who does not seem beautiful to the majority as a partner.

In order for sympathy in relations between a man and a woman to develop into a deeper and more serious feeling, however, one beautiful appearance is not enough for either of them. And women in particular. Everyone knows that men can be around a stupid and empty, but beautiful, long-legged, big-breasted "dancer" for quite a long time. Women are not like that at all, they quickly lose interest in beautiful, but empty-headed men, so this is inevitably followed by a break in relations.

After the initial period of a relationship, there comes a point when appearance ceases to be a key factor. In its place are common interests, a common perception of various life situations. At this stage, the general mood of a person is important. But this is not yet the phase of a relationship when you can show your partner your apathy, longing or depression. The stage of transition of sympathy to mutual attractiveness should be accompanied by friendly, warm relationships, they are the attribute of a successful relationship. The appearance of a man in this period of relationship is still important for a woman, although not the main thing. Therefore, it is better not to appear in front of each other in homemade or unkempt clothes, in a bad mood or tipsy in the first days of a romantic relationship.

Family psychologists distinguish several phases of love: sympathy, attractiveness, falling in love and love. In fact, the appearance of a man for a woman is important only during the first two phases of love, but in the future, after a period of mutual “watching”, lovers of cute faces may develop deep feelings for their boyfriend, while he may not be so “handsome”.

So are there women for whom the beauty of a man is very important, for whom it is the main criterion for their choice and why? It is impossible to answer this question unambiguously. In most cases, women, for whom the beauty of a man is important, always have a high opinion of themselves. In addition, when choosing, they are guided by the desire to appear to others more beautiful than they really are. And this is understandable, since psychologists note that against the background of a handsome man, any woman will look like a queen. Of course, most people express bewilderment and surprise at the sight of the one that a handsome man has chosen as his partner. But gradually their opinion changes, and they begin to think that since he chose her, then she deserves him. Therefore, for a woman, choosing a handsome man as a partner is her great social capital, since for others she herself becomes more attractive.

Question to a psychologist

I and my chosen one are 21. The situation is extremely delicate, from early childhood I claimed that I would choose only the most handsome and smart man in the world, but the older I got, the more often it was asserted that these same handsome men are simply terribly proud and extremely selfish, and those who, despite their beauty, remained worthy men were still almost from the cradle in strong relationships. Many people call me the most beautiful girl on the stream, which is very flattering, given how low my self-esteem is, but the guys swore in droves in love, and beautiful, and smart, and kind, and rich, and poor, etc., but no one could go further level of "sympathy", and here, a person who studied side by side for several years, at some point could turn out to be almost the best (kind, gentle, good sense of humor) and was able to discern in me, in addition to appearance, a whole world filled with books , music, creativity and more. With all its positive qualities, it has a big drawback, it is a narrow section of the eyes. We fell in love with him and, if we forget about the many difficulties that await us in the future (my family is against exotic nationalities, and I myself am Georgian), I would be happy to live my whole life with him, but there is one such big BUT: in Because of my troubled childhood, I really, really don't want my kids to go through the same thing. In Russia, not just even dark-haired, and even with narrow eyes, it will be a living hell for kids! Girls will have complexes, boys will not be popular .. Should I give vent to feelings and spoil the life of future children or find a handsome guy, most likely a moral monster, and give birth to handsome children? Is it selfish, perhaps, in this case, to choose your happiness with a caring man?

Psychologists Answers

Hello Alina.

A child from an unloved man in a toxic family will suffer even more, and bullying and nagging in adolescence is experienced by children of all nationalities. It is strange that you decided in advance for your unborn children their fate, found problems for them and determined the country in which they will live. All this may be your deep delusion. Nobody knows the future.

The dislike of Russians in dark-haired is absolutely far-fetched. Russia has always been a multinational state and in different cities people have very different attitudes towards the appearance of other dissimilar or similar people. It seems to me that it depends more on the level of education and the culture of the environment in which you would live and raise children. Yes, there are very rude, limited and cruel people, and they are in any country in the world, but there is also a normal healthy environment where people treat each other with tolerance and consideration.

Perhaps your personal psychological traumas prevent you from seeing the situation more widely and you perceive and interpret individual words and events more painfully, in which people do not even put the meaning that you or your loved ones discover.

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Hello Alina! You have to pay for everything. Choosing a man with a beautiful appearance, you, in most cases, doom yourself to play a male role in the family. For your handsome man, you will have to become the main breadwinner in the family and drag mammoths to your husband's beautiful feet. And the husband can take it at any moment and go to another, because she gave him a cool Japanese motorcycle, and you could only give him the usual viburnum fret.

It has been statistically proven that young people tend to create pairs with people who are approximately equal to them in terms of external attractiveness. And this is just following fashion, cultural stereotypes. Such a choice for family happiness is of no use.

And what then has weight for family well-being. And for family well-being, it matters that your man was thrilled by one of your looks, lost, did not know what to say and felt like a monster next to a beauty. What is important for a woman? And for her, it is important that men be for her the earner of mammoths and burn with the desire to work for the good of the family.

And also about the beauty of potential offspring - children in the kindergarten and school will be judged not by the beauty of the body, but by the high cost of the clothes they are wearing. This is our current world.

wisdom to you, Alina!

I consult via Skype. Belova Lyubov, psychologist/psychotherapist

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Alina "The course of your thoughts is interesting. It is worth noting that you are not alone in your doubts, I periodically encounter similar situations in my work. Let me drop my article for you, I invite you to my website, since I work as a psychologist-sexologist. Here everything depends on your personal perception, everyone chooses and decides for himself. on my site. Good luck!

I love men of a certain appearance. Advantages and disadvantages. It is important to love yourself. Posted in Articles | November 13, 2013

I want to tell you as a psychotherapist who conducts women's trainings on choosing a future partner, which is sometimes extremely important for a woman when her man has a certain appearance.

As an example, I will cite the story of one girl for whom it was very important that a man be handsome. It seems to be not bad, but nevertheless, it significantly narrowed her choice, besides, she was already over 30, and a young man was not considered.

The first thing we came up with was insufficient self-love (the root of the problem), from which everything else has already gone.

The beginning of this was the following story. When the client was 5 years old, her parents left and temporarily left the girl to her grandmother. She remembered herself standing on the platform and roaring after the departing train. Then she determined for herself: *they do not love me*.

In the future, this changed somewhat, because men began to come into the life of the girl. She began to realize that she was beautiful. And her conviction now said the following: “Let them love me better, and I, in order not to suffer, should not love myself,”

I will note, as a practicing psychotherapist, I know many examples of women having these beliefs when they are closed from love. At first glance, someone will say: "not bad." But try to live with a man to whom you are initially indifferent, and then it will gradually turn into irritation. When only his touch and the feeling of *missed opportunities* can infuriate. So, it is worth considering whether you need such a conviction.

Now about beautiful men. The client said: "I love the beautiful." I ask: "is it good?" She, who at first thought it was a good thing, began to delve into herself. And suddenly, quite unexpectedly, she reached her age of 21. And she saw herself disheveled, with pimples on her face, and decided that she lacked her own beauty: “I will look for beauty in men.”

Now, when I pointed out to her the true meaning of this belief, she began to understand something for herself and reformulated it, suddenly realizing that: “I want a decent one for myself.” And her criteria for evaluating the appearance of a man have changed. She outlined the following: “the main thing from the appearance for me is a man who has a nose. I like it to stand out on the face (within reason), but it has to be.”

Then - in terms of figure. She remembered her *ex*, and just acquaintances, and unfamiliar men, making such a generalization: *nothing if there is a small tummy*.

Now a few words about the growth of men. The client herself was not tall, and if earlier she only wanted a man from 180 cm and above, now she said: “Come on, let it be at least 173, my dad is short, but he is a good husband.”

In the future, we moved on to the topic: "it is important to love yourself." She remembered when a tearful friend came running to her, who was going through her breakup with a man, and the client decided for herself: “Love is equal to suffering.” And now, realizing that it’s absolutely not worth it to sympathize with a friend so much, and that everything will be different for her, she said: “I will be happy in a relationship.”

Then, she again remembered the departure of her parents, and her then decision: "I get pain, therefore - love is pain." We re-resourced this situation, And it played out differently. The client saw a grandmother who told her: “Yes, let's go, well, where will they go - they will return soon.” And she calmly went home with her grandmother, no longer crying.

After that, she reviewed all her previous unsuccessful relationships, and made a generalized conclusion from them: “I chose the wrong men, my approach to them was wrong. I have to love my man and be loved.”

She gave away the dislike that lived in her, filling herself with the value of love.

This is how you can solve 2 parallel problems, as it turned out later, they still intersect, despite the laws of mathematics.

Afanasyeva Liliya Veniaminovna, psychologist Moscow

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Karataev Vladimir Ivanovich

Psychologist Volgograd Was online: Today

“A man should be a little more beautiful than a monkey” - this phrase can be heard anywhere. In the first place in terms of importance, women put intelligence, kindness, self-sufficiency, good earnings. Anything but looks. Why is it easier and faster for a handsome man to achieve a woman?

What is male beauty

Assessing the appearance of a man, the first thing to look at is the physique. A tall, slender and fit man will have a better chance of success than the owner of a beer belly. At the same time, all women are different. What one does not like, another will like.

Hands play an important role in the attractiveness of a man. It is difficult to describe what they should be, because neither jewelry nor cosmetic procedures affect their beauty. According to the opinions of women, men's hands should look so that when looking at them, the impression is created: this person can bend a horseshoe and rock a child.

The hairstyle of a man is important. Baldness is not for everyone. But light gray hair paints a man, making him wiser and more experienced in the eyes of a woman.

The eyes are the mirror of the soul, therefore their attractiveness is affected not by color or cut, but by inner strength, confidence, intelligence. An extinct empty look will not attract a woman.

One of the indicators of male strength is the chin. Well, if he is strong-willed, angular. A dimple in the chin is considered sexy by many women. But the shape of the nose and mouth does not affect male beauty. Unless a snub nose or lips with a bow can cause a smile.

A handsome man is a well-groomed man

Considering that natural data is really not so important for the attractiveness of a man, we can conclude that the main thing in a man's appearance is a well-groomed appearance. Any person - from a woman who wants to achieve, to the head of a man who wants to get a job - is more pleasant to communicate with a neat person.

Grooming does not mean visiting beauty salons. Of course, it would be nice to do a professional male manicure. But just trimming your nails on time will be enough. The hand cream will relieve and make the skin soft.

Hair must be kept clean and do not neglect the services of a hairdresser. Facial hair also needs daily grooming or shaving.

A huge plus if the man smells good. A good expensive perfume, deodorant and clean clothes will impress the people around you.

Finally, visit your dentist regularly and take care of your teeth. A charming smile is a powerful weapon that will help win over both women and other men.