Managing emotions and feelings. Secret technique

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The mind lives its own life and constantly slips us something that, in its opinion, needs to be thought over, smeared or chewed during the day (the same mental chewing gum when thinking is not productive and does not lead to either getting answers or solving problems).

The first thing to start with is to understand that we mistakenly separate our mind from ourselves. We are like in a news feed in social networks we see a constant update of content. But, if there we have the opportunity to choose: unsubscribe, subscribe, complain about the content, click “dislike”, then for some reason this does not work with the brain. We cannot say to ourselves: “This, of course, is not a bad idea, but I will not think it, at least not now.” Or when you need to focus on a specific issue, but instead, spam content from vain thoughts about nothing and everything at once creeps into your head and climbs. So is it even possible to control the hell in your head?

The answer is yes, you can. And this is good news. You can learn to control your thoughts!

Learning from children

At first glance, this may seem like a daunting task. Some certain conditions are needed, for example, to be born a monk in the mountains of Tibet or go to Goa. But no, the task is feasible and, apart from the presence of yourself, nothing else is required.

Look at the kids. How do they learn to control their body. They move funny, walk awkwardly, constantly fall, but, thanks to their perseverance, learn to control themselves, they eventually master the movements by the age of 11. But then they are overtaken by a new surprise from the body - the reproductive system begins to mature. As a result, they have to learn to manage for several more years, and she too. And only at the age of 18-20 is a person fully formed, in control of himself. But not all of them, unfortunately. During this time of maturation and becoming, we were not so diligent in managing our thoughts and emotions.

We didn’t really understand why we needed it, but by the age of 25-30, the need is realized quite sharply. And here, our age is both a plus and a minus. Let's start with the negative.

For 20-30 years or more, we have learned to react and think not quite effectively, and relearning is always more difficult - it's like getting rid of a bad habit. You're actually scared to lose her, because she's become a part of you (it seems). And you just do not understand how to fill the void that will come to replace it. But, fortunately, we will immediately replace the habit of "not controlling your mind" with the opposite one. This is a plus of our age - we know how to learn, we have experience in taming our body. All that is required of us is discipline and regularity, which, again, is easier to achieve from us than from a three-year-old child or teenager.

mental computer

Often our brain is compared to a computer in terms of coolness and functionality. Agree, it would be strange if we did not have the opportunity to turn off our computer or laptop at any time. Or, if he himself turned on when he liked, opened programs, applications, said: “Look how important and interesting or sad, and we need to mourn”.

If we support the "brain-computer" analogy, then, in theory, we could stop the flow of thoughts, choose what and when to think about. To live in such a way that the brain, without our knowledge, performs only internal working functions: it controls the body and basic instincts, and the active mind is completely under our control. Then we could think about the pleasant most of the time, imagine the beautiful, enjoy life. And they wouldn’t have been spinning for the third day that incident with a neighbor who didn’t like the way you looked at her. Or that idiot who flooded you from head to toe at the bus stop. It seems to me that the prospect is quite tempting, to at least give it time and practice.

Exercises for every day

I suggest starting small.

• Stop and review your thoughts from time to time. Notice what the thought is and let it go. No need to go deep: you are an outside observer and do not participate in the process of thinking about something. Imagine that you have opened your work email and see a lot of incoming messages. Mark each one in turn as read, but don't open the email itself.

Do this for 2-3 days 5-7 times a day, about 1 time per hour during the working day. Everything about everything will take a minute. That is, 5-7 minutes a day for 2-3 days will be enough for you to learn the principle. In my opinion, not such a difficult task - a maximum of 21 minutes in 3 days.

• After the principle is learned, in the next 7 days, start noting: this is a good idea - leave it in your inbox. This is bad - put it in the spam folder.
• Then, learn to group incoming thoughts into topics: pleasant, sad, joyful, anxious, unwanted, annoying, and place them in mental folders. This will take you 5-7 days.
• When you are already good at shifting the focus of attention from thought to thought, quickly and accurately determine whether you like it or not, pack them into folders, start sending negative thoughts to “junk mail” or “spam” immediately. Serious, disturbing, important thoughts, put off until later, if now is not the right time to think about them (for example, you go to bed or decide to spend time with friends). Positive, joyful, invigorating thoughts, learn to call from the appropriate folders at any moment and dive into them - finally you can open the letter, read it, perhaps several times. Enjoy the beauty of the style, pictures, follow the links to even more pleasant thoughts.

This may take you 7 to 10 days. If you feel comfortable, then increase the training time, bring the skill to automatism.

• Try to control your thoughts in the most uncomfortable situation. For example, your boss is yelling at you, instead of getting annoyed, yelling back or awkwardly defending yourself, you open a folder with pleasant memories, fly away somewhere to the Cote d'Azur, listen to the sound of the surf. And when the boss calms down, report that you will come next time.
• Your next task will be to learn how to deal with spam, that is, with the flow of incoming thoughts. Oh yes, in case you still haven't guessed, you are the one producing them. They do not climb into your head, but your own mind plays chess with you, putting you in checkmate. But, now you take control of the situation and just learn to reduce the flow of incoming thoughts. This will allow you to focus on the current task as much as possible, easily catch the state of flow and increase efficiency - since you are not distracted by neural chatter, but do the job, using 100% of your mind's time.

And what will happen when I stop the flow of thoughts?

Will there be a void? Sounds scary. It's like you go to the social. network, and there is not a single message in the news feed. First thought: something is broken! Evil on a global scale has happened. But no, don’t worry, most likely, if you don’t belong to those very Tibetan monks, don’t live by daily meditation, and the state of nirvana is generally a dark forest for you, then you are reliably protected from this, but it’s up to you to decide what exactly to think about, what filmstrips scroll in your head, you can 100%.

visual images and inner voice

Chances are, once you start focusing on what's going on in your brain, you'll find that one thought is inseparable from another. Moreover, they are some kind of mess: just now I was thinking that perhaps it’s time to start preparing the child for school, as I’m already thinking about what day of the week it is better to pass the technical examination. And, if you listen, then in parallel with all this, I remembered that I had not sent an important letter at work and, in general, I am fat.

I would compare it to a radio that constantly loses a wave. To highlight a specific thought, turn the program search knob. Do you feel that it is becoming clearer, there is less and less interference? Of course, the first time will not work, but daily training will give its result.

How do we usually perceive what we think about? - this is an inner voice that we seem to hear and visual images that we seem to see.

What can we do with sound?

We can turn it off, make it quieter or louder. We can change the speed of speech, voice timbre and intonation. If you hear a displeased mother's voice, then it is in your power to replace it with an affectionate or approving, supportive one.

What can we do with visual images?

Send a mental signal to change it. For example, add colors, colors, dynamics, finish the missing elements or remove the excess; completely change. We can make it moveable or static. Just experiment and control what you see and hear within yourself. Exercise briefly, but regularly. And in the future, you will feel that you can set your brain to the right job pretty quickly.

Why learn to control your thoughts?

This is a very important skill, in principle, for any person, and is especially relevant for those who embark on the path of self-love. Over the years, we have been accustomed to offending, humiliating, blaming and chastising ourselves. We do it instantly, without thinking. It is these thoughts that we need to monitor and filter out in the first place. Send them to the spam folder. And in their place cause praise, approval, acceptance and forgiveness.

Will you get it right the first time? - Unlikely.

Will you be able to completely get rid of negative and “extra” thoughts? - Don't think.

But what you will definitely learn is to focus on those thoughts that are necessary and useful to you.

Our thoughts cause our states. We drive ourselves into despondency, fatigue, depression. And in the same way, we can evoke calmness, joy, delight in ourselves. It may seem that sadness fell on its own - nothing foreshadowed trouble, and in general, nothing bad happened, but! uncontrolled thoughts and memories in that same stupid mess, at some point sent a signal to our emotional brain and body that we should be sad, and we responded to it.

When we pay attention to our active mind and note what is happening in it at the moment. When we consciously transfer the focus of attention from thought to thought, then all other thoughts, as it were, lose weight. They are there, hanging out on their own, restless, but our brain, emotions, feelings and body are busy with signals that have a greater intensity of impact, and it increases due to our conscious deliberation.

Become finally the king in your head. Tame your brain. Be more efficient and happier. Train every day for amazing results.

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The worst thing about worrying thoughts is that even when you realize that you are acting irrationally, it does not always help. Most of the time, it only adds to the anxiety when the thought comes, “If I know this is irrational, why can't I stop? Oh god, I can't stop it." And you begin to believe that you are no longer in control of your mind.

Amy Desu

Thought cycle

Life throws us different situations. For example, you are walking in the forest and you see a bear. The thought automatically arises: “There is a bear!”. It triggers a physiological response: blood pressure rises, pulse rate and heart rate increase. Several emotions appear almost simultaneously. When you see a bear, you feel anxiety, panic and fear.

Then a defense mechanism kicks in - you run away from the bear. Although they say that it is best not to run away, but for the sake of example, we will ignore this fact. And here you are safe. What's the next thought? "Wow, I'm safe! I survived!". And your body's response is that your heart rate slows down, your pulse goes down, and you start breathing more naturally. Other emotions are included - joy, relief, satisfaction. What will be your behavior? Remembering the miraculous rescue, when you return home, you will open a bottle of wine or enjoy ice cream. To celebrate.

But let's say that in the cave you are overcome by completely different thoughts: “I am such a weakling! Why did I run away? It was, after all, a bear cub. Why am I always such a coward?" You are upset, breathing remains fast and ragged. Emotions range between frustration, anger and self-loathing. What about behavior? You can also buy yourself a kilo of ice cream, but this will be your punishment for yourself.

The scenario described above is Aaron Beck's cognitive-behavioral theory in a nutshell. Its essence is that thoughts, beliefs, feelings, body, behavior and our past are connected: they influence each other. With the practice of controlling our thoughts, we can change the physiological or mental side of our reactions. For example, to avoid stress, depression or anxiety, to arouse enthusiasm in yourself and to do something great.

It is difficult, but with due perseverance and practice, impressive results can be achieved.

The Benefits of Mastering Your Thoughts

You will sleep better

The ability to control your thoughts directly depends on the quality of sleep and how long it takes to fall asleep. Are you tired of tossing and turning in bed for hours?

You will achieve inner peace

Anyone who is experiencing panic attacks or is prone to obsessive thoughts will be just happy if all this ends. And the first thing to start with is the control of thoughts.

You will increase your emotional intelligence

We have already found out that the control of thoughts directly affects emotions. If so, then you will increase yours, begin to understand your feelings and become less stressed.

You will improve your memory and concentration

One has only to learn to direct thoughts in the right direction, as we begin to concentrate several times better. And that means it will get better. Add to this the fact that development depends on its quality and you get a whole range of advantages.

How to learn to control your thoughts

What to do to remove obsessive thoughts and learn how to replace them with proactive, necessary, positive ones?

ten day challenge

This method is based on changing your vocabulary. Without language, we find ourselves in a state of emotional chaos. We have the ability to communicate, and the way we do so can improve neural brain function and reduce stress. If we carelessly treat the words that we say in our head and out loud, then we lose the ability to solve problems, calm the mind and communicate with people.

Here are four steps to take in order to change your vocabulary. 10 days is enough for this, but everything is individual.

Step One: Become aware of the habitual words you use to describe negative or disturbing emotions.

Start noticing the labels you put on situations, emotions, and feelings. If you're saying something like, "I'm so worried about this," stop yourself and acknowledge that "worry" might be too strong a word. It might be worth saying that you are "a little worried." Watch your language and don't exaggerate the intensity of your emotions.

Or even better: consciously choose a word that will reduce the negative connotation of the situation. Instead of saying you're "angry" at someone, describe yourself as being a bit "annoyed" or "frustrated with their reaction."

If someone asks you, "How are you?" Instead of saying “OK,” you can just smile and break the mold. You can add: "You have no idea how I feel!". We often miss great opportunities to cheer ourselves up if we use familiar words.

Step Two: Write down three words that you use regularly that reinforce your negative feelings or emotions.

You may use words like "I'm upset," "I'm depressed," or "I'm humiliated." Come up with alternative words that reduce the intensity of these.

Maybe instead of "I'm humiliated" I should say "I'm a little embarrassed" about how the meeting went?

To mitigate emotional tension, you can use the so-called modifiers: “I just A little puzzled", "I slightly not to your liking." Remember that we lose our temper when we use categorical words.

Step Three: Write down the three words you use to describe your positive experience.

You are often asked: “How are you?”. Why not finally come up with three original yet truthful answers that reinforce positive feelings and inspire you? Say "amazing", "incredible", "impressive". Perhaps these are not the words you feel as your own. Then find yours so that when you apply them, you feel whole.

Step Four: Engage the correct levers.

Choose two people in your life: a close friend and someone else you respect and are afraid to disappoint. Tell them about your commitment to replacing keywords in your vocabulary. Explain that if they hear an old word from you, they should ask, "Do you really feel like this, or are you just using old expressions?"

If you say, "I'm depressed," have a loved one ask, "Are you really depressed or just a little out of sorts?" All this will give additional support and help form a new habit.

By carefully and consciously choosing the words that are attached to experiences, you can learn to more subtly understand how you really feel and how strong these emotions are.

Programming

Each of us, at any point in our lives, believes we deserve more. But when reality diverges from this belief, we experience disappointment and dissatisfaction. They either push us forward to change, or slow us down and drive us into a shell. Which option do you choose?

If the second, then you need to "reprogram" yourself. Here are three steps for that.

Decide

What is your desired result? The first step is to get absolutely clear about what you want. Clarity is strength. The more accurately you visualize the end result, the stronger your vision will be, and the more likely you are to turn that vision into reality.

If you argue with a friend, you risk getting into a conflict and ruining the mood for yourself and him. But what if you stopped in the middle of an argument and asked yourself what is the desired outcome? He's not in arguing and swearing, but in finding a solution? Now the focus is completely on that.

Give direction to your thoughts. What do you want physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually, in your business, work, personal life? Resolve that you will not act unconsciously.

Take Action

Now it's time to rid your mind of fear and uncertainty. How can I do that? Rejecting other opportunities that do not lead to a decision.

Fear is one of the biggest traps that keeps people from taking action. Fear of failure, failure, success, pain, the unknown - we all have fears. And the only way to deal with them is to confront them. You have to look them in the eye and make an effort no matter what.

Are you afraid of failure? Failure is education. Look at it this way: if you fail, you'll know what's not working. And when you try again, you can use it to your advantage. People often do not take real action to achieve their goals. They just keep saying, "Someday I'll do it."

The ability to interrupt negative thoughts is like a muscle. At first, when you try to load it, it will be difficult and even painful. But if you start small and try to change your way of thinking every day, you will gradually become stronger. Soon everything will be effortless.

Take action and overcome negativity. Take action to make your life better. When you take action and end up with a small victory, you move on to the next level. When you do something that you could not expect from yourself before, it fills you with strength.

reprogram the brain

After you have clearly decided what you are going to do and have taken action, you need to take an inventory of your life. Pay attention to what you get from current activities, and evaluate what works and what does not. And then change. Find solutions to help.

The most important part of finding a solution is flexibility. Flexibility is strength. If you are harsh in your judgments and life seems expensive in a tunnel, you are missing out on unexpected opportunities and alternative routes that can provide incredible benefits. Remember that you are never in control of 100% of your life and all situations.

Think about it: is your life going according to plan? Probably not. The path is never straight. And that's why it's important to stay flexible - learn from mistakes, deal with setbacks, and use negative experiences as a force for change. The point is to figure out one thing: keep moving forward and use mistakes and failures to achieve success.

Give battle to negative thoughts

When it comes to managing thoughts, we mean getting rid of negative ones. Everything else seems to take care of itself.

Because we are constantly exposed to negative information from the media and other people, our brains are always alert to focus on possible threats to safety and well-being. Under the influence of these negative stimuli, neurochemicals are released in the body that cause anxiety and depression.

How to get rid of negative thoughts:

1. write them down. When automatic negative thoughts begin to swirl in your mind, write them down so you can clearly identify and name them.
2. Explore them. Ask yourself: Are these thoughts correct?
3. Answer them. If negative thoughts are false, address them. This dialogue brings you out of your state of unconsciousness and allows you to face the enemy. It is best to keep it on paper.

All methods for destroying negative thoughts have one thing in common - they encourage you to take an active role in revising thoughts, rather than being in passive acceptance (which destroys life). In a word, without conscious work on thoughts - they sat down, wrote down and answered - it is impossible to get rid of the negative.

Travis Robertson strategy

Thoughts are everything. Many people in most cases are not aware of what they are thinking. Hence all the problems.

At the same time, you know what effect thoughts can have on you. You can become depressed, angry, frustrated, lonely, worried, sad, and doubtful.

Thoughts control what we feel at any given moment. Therefore, by controlling thoughts, we change our feelings.

Robertson offers five steps for mastering your thoughts.

Learn to stop your thoughts

One of the first things you need to do is learn to stop in the middle of your thoughts (good, bad, or just plain boring). Catch yourself thinking at different times of the day. How are you feeling? What are you thinking about? Why are you thinking about it?

When we are angry, our level of intelligence drops significantly. You also forget that you have to watch your thoughts. So watch them when you are in your normal mood.

Don't pressure yourself. Take 5 minutes and try to figure out what are the main thoughts in your head right now.

Identify negative emotions

Every feeling we have is a direct result of what we have been thinking. Therefore, if you feel anxious, ask yourself: "Why am I worried?". Always look for the root of the problem.

Record a mental movie

By default, most people "make" negative psychological films. When the current situation reminds us of the previous one, we tend to replay that movie.

What you need to do is determine what the movie is and "record" it. For what? Because you need to pull it out of the subconscious. Now you can analyze the film with a cool head.

Find the lie

Watch the movie carefully. How to define a lie? As a rule, these are some specific labels, such as "stupid", "loser" and "not deserving of success." You know that all this is not true. Write down each lie on paper.

Recognize the truth

The only way to fight lies is with the truth, and now is the time to understand what truth is for you. Next to each false item, write about ten rebuttals. If you are stupid, then why did you act like a smart person in these ten cases? This simple exercise will knock the negative ground out from under your feet.

Books

There are many books on the topic of thought control, so you will not lack literature. In some, the bias goes towards esotericism, in others - science, while others simply contain good advice from the personal experience of the authors. We advise you to start with the first book on our list, and then decide for yourself which book to read next.

• "How a Man Thinks or the Thinking of a Man" James Allen
• "The Power of the Present or the Power of the Now" Eckhart Tolle
• "The Subconscious Can Do Anything" John Kehoe
• Silva method. Mind Control by José Silva, Philip Miele
• “Dreaming is not bad. How to Get What You Really Want Barbara Sher, Annie Gottlieb
• "Think and Grow Rich" Napoleon Hill
• "Change your mindset and you will change your life" Brian Tracy
• "Creative Visualization" by Shakti Gawain
• "Thought Matters" David Hamilton
• "Awaken the giant in you" by Tony Robbins

Each person comes in his own time to realize the power of thoughts. This can happen in your 20s and 60s, but the sooner the better. We hope this article has convinced you that mastering your thoughts is the most important step on the path to peace of mind and the achievement of goals.

We wish you good luck!

How important is it to be able to control thoughts? Negative emotions caused by heavy thoughts cause significant harm to the human psyche and body. The ability to stop them has a positive effect on well-being in general. How to control your thoughts? Is it possible to learn this?

Why do bad thoughts arise?

There are several factors that influence the tendency to negative thoughts:

1. habit of criticizing. If a person is used to criticizing others and himself, he constantly accumulates negative emotions.
2. Low self-esteem, lack of confidence in yourself and your own abilities.
3. Inability to develop and achieve their goals.
4. Lack of support. When a person in a difficult moment cannot rely on a loved one, problems begin to completely absorb him, and it is much more difficult to cope with them.

It is important to determine what specifically causes bad thoughts and causes negative emotions, and try to eliminate it.

What gives the ability to control thoughts?

Happiness. Often the smallest and most frivolous troubles, constantly scrolling in the head, give rise to negative emotions, upset and even lead to depression, do not allow a person to become fully happy. The ability to let go, to get away from heavy thoughts helps to maintain a positive attitude.

Freedom. People who have mastered this skill are less dependent on the opinions of others. They are more open and confident. On the contrary, too frequent occurrence of bad thoughts gives rise to a kind of dependence - a person becomes a slave to his feelings, fails. Only by breaking this circle, ceasing to attach too much importance to the opinions of others, can one become truly free.

Calm. When a person is absorbed in negative thoughts, immersed in negative emotions, he loses the ability to think carefully, so he can commit rash acts that he will later regret. To act rationally, you must gain control of your mind.

Success. When a person is possessed by emotions, it is very difficult to go towards achieving one's goals - excessive ardor interferes, makes one deviate from the intended course. Curbing your feelings helps you see tasks more clearly and develop the most effective plans for their implementation.

Finding yourself. A person who gives in to negative reflections sees distorted not only the world, but also himself - he cannot always understand exactly what he needs for happiness and a harmonious existence. By controlling his thoughts, it is easier for a person to understand himself, because nothing distracts him.

How to manage your thoughts?

It is more correct and relevant to first ask the question “ what prevents control thoughts?“A lot of different things get in the way, but all of them can be called in one phrase - mental garbage. What is mental trash? This:

• fears, jealousy, anxiety, resentment, etc.
• complexes
• limiting beliefs and beliefs
• dependencies
• and much more

mental junk consumes a lot of your precious energy, and in return brings only illness, suffering and takes away the ability to control your thoughts, and therefore your life. The Turbo-Gopher system (official site) can help free your mind from mental burden. The system is easy to use and has a number of advantages:

• it addresses the roots of problems, rather than masking them - and therefore eliminates them forever
• it uses the hidden possibilities of the subconscious, which explains the high speed of getting rid of problems

A copy of the book.

It is also worth understanding some things that will help on the way to controlling your thoughts.

Acceptance of your imperfection

First of all, a person must come to terms with the fact that he is not perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, suffers defeats. Self-blame, the constant experience of one's own mistakes leads to depression. If a person perceives his failures as something inevitable, life becomes much easier.

Understanding that thought is real

If a person perceives his own thoughts as something abstract, then he does not pay due attention to them, he allows them to appear one after another. In a stream of uncontrolled thoughts, you can even drown.

It is important to understand that thoughts are real - they force the brain to secrete various chemical compounds, cause all kinds of emotions, have a noticeable effect on a person's mood and self-awareness, on his attitude to life.

Faith in your abilities

You need to understand that a person is free to choose what to think about. Various thoughts can arise by themselves, but only a person decides whether they are worth developing. You should stop bad feelings and dwell on positive ones.

Concentration

The next stage is to develop the ability to transfer and keep attention on something specific - an object or a form. For example, at the moment when negative thoughts overcome, focus on the first thing that catches your eye - a book, a picture, a reflection in a mirror, a view from a window. At this time, no extraneous thoughts should arise, you must learn to completely immerse yourself in what you are looking at.

This skill can be developed through regular practice. It is best to choose specific hours for classes (for example, 8, 16 and 20 hours), and exercise daily. You should choose a subject and completely focus on it. Extraneous thoughts that come to mind must be ignored, driven away. At first, it may not work, but over time, attempts will increasingly be crowned with success.

positive thinking

Now you need to learn to think positively. How does the body react when a person thinks about something bad? Often his heartbeat quickens, his muscles tense up, his palms begin to sweat, and sometimes even his blood pressure rises. When people think positively, the brain releases chemicals that improve the condition. At this time, the mood rises, breathing evens out and slows down, the body relaxes.

This simple illustrative example helps to understand how destructive negative emotions can be and how positive thinking can be beneficial.

You should give yourself the installation: “I am closed to all kinds of negative influences. I accept and give only positive impulses. The next task is to follow this decision, not to doubt one's own abilities, in the possibility of keeping the promise made to oneself.

Employment

The brain should not be idle, it should be constantly loaded. In the absence of occupation, bad thoughts and feelings are born by themselves. It is important to constantly make sure that the head works, to give tasks to the mind.

Ability to enjoy the little things

Even small joys and successes should bring positive emotions. You need to learn to notice them, to experience them to the fullest, to feel every moment of life.

indulgences

Man is not a robot. If difficulties arise on the way to the intended goals, forced deviations from the course, one should accept them calmly, without anger and irritation at oneself. It is important to learn to forgive yourself for mistakes and praise for successes. Don't dwell on the bad.

Philosophical attitude to life

If something went wrong, it didn’t work out, it means that the time has not yet come. You need to take it calmly. Not everything in the world is logical and a person cannot control the events that take place. The ability to experience failures and negative events calmly is the key to longevity and psychological health.

Switching attention

When bad thoughts and emotions appear, the mood worsens, you need to be able to shift your attention to something good: remember pleasant moments from the past or dream about future successes.

By learning how to learn how to control your thoughts, you can significantly improve your life, find happiness, harmony and peace.

If you have reached the understanding that you yourself are responsible for everything that happens in your life, and not external circumstances and other people, then here you will find a deep answer, how to form the most important skill - managing emotions and feelings. The most important quality you can instill in yourself is your ability to control your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. This is the skill that will take you anywhere.

Previously, I did not know how to manage my emotions, I was too emotional a person, I reacted very sharply to everything. Then I began to figure out what really determines my emotions?

Hormones, some inexplicable things? No! And one day it dawned on me that my emotions are determined by my thoughts.

I realized one important thing:

To control your emotions and feelings, you need to learn to control your thoughts.

Managing emotions and feelings. Simple explanation.

Emotions are always a derivative of our thoughts.

Since I am conscious of building my life, I became interested in how to establish contact with my thoughts, and at the same time with emotions.

I began to study ways to manage emotions and found for myself one exercise that trained me to manage my emotions through thoughts.

During the day, when some emotion or an unpleasant feeling of irritation, depression, anger, discontent arises, you just need to stop and ask yourself:

• At what point did I start to feel this emotion?
• When did my mood change?

The main thing here is to listen carefully to yourself, to be honest with yourself.

And the more I practiced rewinding the tape and going back to the moment and catching it when that emotion came up, I always found, without exception, that the emotion followed the thought.

Therefore, if you think that emotions are uncontrollable and difficult to manage emotions, it is only because you think that emotions are something in themselves, as they come and they go.

To understand what the technique of managing emotions implies, one must accept the fact that emotions are the result of thoughts. And as soon as you understand this, you immediately begin to control your thoughts.

Remember, no one but you can control your thoughts.

Managing emotions and feelings. The concept of "mind" and "consciousness".

But why, then, do some people think that thoughts come without their knowledge and supposedly? Here it is necessary to understand that there is a mind and consciousness.

The mind grabs at everything that is shown to it, what it sees, it's like a monkey that can grab a banana and a grenade according to the principle - give it, take it, everything in a row and indiscriminately.

And consciousness is the master, controlling what the mind can grasp. After all, grabbing everything in a row, you can harm yourself and that’s why

Useful:

Before, I just didn’t think about it - well, some thought came to my mind, so it’s necessary. I didn't realize that as long as a negative thought was in my head, it was creating unwanted events.

How to help yourself at the initial stage and learn to control your thoughts, observe them, choose what you want?

Firstly,

remove everything that introduces into a state of passive thinking (negative).

You take in the information and it goes round and round in your head on a regular basis. For example, watching TV, where there is a lot of negativity. Or communication with eternally whining people who like to complain, discuss someone.

All this is a negative influence, and it is up to you to decide whether it is worth protecting yourself from this and whether you need to exclude negativity from your life.

I hope your answer is yes, because it is not for nothing that you are interested in managing emotions and feelings.

To help you think the way you want to, you need to turn to inspiring examples and people you want to be like.

Look:

How to watch them?

When you communicate with people who think differently, you listen to them, in fact, you begin to think in their key and adopt their thinking. This is an essential part of building your new mindset.

Secondly,

learn more about your nature, about the nature of other people. For example, take an interest in psychology.

It will help you to understand yourself and other people, to distinguish the important from the unimportant.

No one else controls your thoughts except you. Even now, only you determine what you will think about in the next second.

Only you, through your own efforts, can shift the focus from the negative to the good. Replace thoughts of fear, anxiety, irritation with thoughts of gratitude, dreams, expectations, joy.

It's like exercising the body. For example, last year I signed up for a Latin American dance studio. Passionate, captivating, they always fascinated me and I wanted to learn how to dance beautifully for a long time.

It was a completely new activity for me, and at first it was not easy for me to teach my body to move correctly, to train my muscles to respond more quickly, accurately.

But with each new workout, I honed my technique more and more. And soon the necessary plasticity, activity, vigor appeared, the body began to obey, I became more confident, well, I built it.

Now our team is invited to city events, we even danced at weddings. And most importantly - I just love to dance and one of my wishes came true.

You can bring the control of your thoughts to the same maximum.

Managing emotions and feelings. Internal dialogue

But do not forget that we still live in a world where there is a lot of negative information. Information that will make you doubt your abilities, undermine your confidence, so you always need to keep your finger on the pulse so that your mind does not clutch at everything in a row.

Most people don't care about the internal dialogue that's always going on in their head. It can be chatter, savoring some events, internal disputes / comments.Many simply treat it as a natural background, unaware that all this can be controlled.

That is why most people do not live the life they would like.

Your inner dialogue determines your life. It determines how you feel, how you treat yourself and other people as well. And as a result, it determines how you behave. And that is your character.

By the way, and are also thoughts. If you control your thoughts, you control the level of your confidence and the level of your self-esteem.

• Happiness in the family is thoughts.
• Financial abundance is a thought.
• Slenderness and beauty are thoughts.

The most important investment of your time and effort is the investment in learning to control your thoughts, learn to choose them and, as a result, learn to control your emotions.

Controlling thoughts and emotions is just a skill and one follows from the other. And it will take effort and perseverance.

Getting rid of negative thoughts

You don't need to get rid of negative thoughts, you just need to replace them.

It is impossible to think about several things at the same time, so choose what you think about.

If a sad thought comes, the corresponding emotions of depression and anger will appear after it. At this point, ask yourself:

• What could I be thinking about now instead?
• What positive thoughts can I replace negative thoughts with?
• What can I be grateful for?

If you think that you can't deal with negative thoughts, you simply don't want to give up your habitual state, sacrifice, hopelessness, etc. The choice is yours.

You are the rightful owner of your thoughts. You just don’t need to sit passively and watch how your monkey grabs everything in a row that is in its field of vision, but choose for yourself what you want to think about at the moment. What you think about now creates your tomorrow.

You are what you think. Your life is what you imagined for yourself.

If you improve the skill of managing your thoughts, you can achieve anything in relationships, and in, and in health.

About another necessary skill

Another necessary skill is the development of the imagination. It is imagination that helps to create in your life what has never been before or to increase what you want.

mind control will allow you to fully control your own life and become the master of your own destiny.

There are three simple exercises to learncontrol your mind :

positive thinking

Most people simply don't realize the tremendous power of positive and negative thoughts in their minds. The method is extremely simple: as soon as a negative thought fills your mind, immediately replace it with the thought that will cheer you up. Imagine that your brain is like a slide projector and every thought is like a slide.Whenever a negative slide appears on your screen, quickly change it to a positive one.

For example, many people are annoyed by being late or waiting in line. Concentrating each time on negative thoughts and condemnation of a friend who was late for 10 minutes, a person programs negative patterns and risks remaining captive to negative thoughts. However, let's try to change the attitude towards the situation in a positive direction. After all, waiting is nothing more than training willpower for some or an opportunity to talk to yourself, or observe the world around you. There is a well-known example of a half-empty and half-full glass. An optimist sees a glass half full as half full, while a pessimist sees it as half empty. The glass hasn't changed at all. But one person rejoices more often from such a perception of life, while the other is upset by this. It turns out that we ourselves choose how we react to this or that event in our life.

An example of this is a story about two children. The parents had two sons, twins. One of them was an optimist and the other a pessimist. Everything was good in life for the optimist, and his parents did not really think about what to give him for his birthday. But the pessimist thought for a long time what to give and gave him a wooden horse for his birthday - a good, wooden horse. And they decided to play a trick on the optimist and put horse manure near his bed. A negative child gets up in the morning and looks sadly at his horse and says: “Here again, a horse of the wrong color was presented, it does not ride, it must be carried. What should I do now and where should I put it now in my little room?” Parents were upset, again it did not work out. What about the optimist? Will he get upset? The optimist says: “Cool, they gave me a real live horse. Even the manure was left, probably went for a walk.

Thus, positive thinking will give you joy and self-confidence. By controlling your consciousness and increasing the positive qualities of a person, focusing on the beautiful and positive, you fill your life with precisely these components. And negative thoughts become less and less.

As soon as you consistently apply this principle to your daily life and begin to manage your mind, turning every event into a positive, empowering one, you will forever get rid of worries. You will no longer be a prisoner of your past. Instead, you will become the architect of your future.

Mastery of your mind begins with the ability to control every thought that comes into your mind. When you develop the ability to renounce all unworthy thoughts and learn to focus only on positive and useful ones, you will begin to do positive and useful actions. Soon, everything positive and useful will come into your life by itself.
Only we decide how to think and how to live: in happiness or in sorrow.

Concentration.

If you want to strengthen the muscles of the arm to become stronger, then they need to be trained. If you want to make the leg muscles firm, you must first tighten them. In the same way, your mind will work miracles - but only if you allow it to do so. It will give you everything you want in your life once you learn how to manage it effectively. Mind training requires daily exercise.

One of them is the ability to concentrate on one's thoughts unraveling the mystery of his life. Most of us live in such a frenetic pace that true silence and immobility sometimes become something alien and uncomfortable. Most people, when they hear these words, will say that they don't have time to sit and look at a flower. These same people will say that they don’t have time to simply enjoy the laughter of children or run barefoot in the rain. They will say that they are too busy for such things. They don't even have friends, because friends also take time.

Set aside 10-20 minutes daily forcontemplation exercises . All that is required during this period is to concentrate all your attention on one object. It can be a flower, a candle or any other object. This exercise must be done in complete silence and preferably in nature. Look closely at the object. Pay attention to color, structure and shape. Enjoy the smell and think only of this beautiful creature in front of you. At first, other thoughts will come to you, distracting you from the object. This is the sign of an untrained mind. Try not to get distracted by any thoughts.
By practicing the exercise for 21 days, the consciousness will become stronger and more manageable and you will master the principle of mind control. You realize that every moment is a miracle and a mystery, and you have the power to comprehend it.

Visualization.

Our minds think in pictures. Images affect our idea of ​​ourselves, and this idea determines what we feel, how we act, how we go towards the goal. If you imagine yourself too young to be successful in the legal profession, or too old to change your habits, then you will never achieve those goals. If in your imagination you see that a life full of meaning, happiness and physical perfection is prepared only for people of a different circle to which you do not belong, then in the end this will become your reality.

But if vivid images flash across the wide screen of your consciousness, wonderful things will begin to happen in your life. Einstein said that"imagination is more important than knowledge" . Every day you must devote some time, even if only a few minutes, to this creative foresight. Imagine yourself as who you want to be, whether it be a successful entrepreneur, a loving mother, or a responsible citizen. The secret of visualization lies in the fact that with the help of positive images we influence consciousness.

Imagination magic can be applied in many situations. It can be used to handle a court case more effectively, to improve relationships with others, and to develop your own spirituality. Our consciousness has the magnetic power to attract whatever we desire into our lives. If something is missing in our life, it is because it is missing in our ideas. One must keep beautiful pictures before the eyes of one's imagination. Even a single negative image can poison the mind.Visualization is a magnetic force of consciousness that can bring spiritual and material wealth.

The power of imagination as well as positive thinking and concentration require constant training. Mind control takes time. And you should start with regular meditation every day. As soon as these three methods become a daily practice, you will master the skill of controlling your thoughts, your consciousness and mind. If you control your mind, you control your life. And once you are in complete control of your own life, you will become the master of your own destiny.

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