Useful tips for children. Useful tips for parents about raising children Write your own useful advice for children

Once upon a time there lived an orphan youth. He was very poor, hunger visited him every day. So he decided to wander around the world, maybe he could get some food. He walked and walked, and in the evening, hungry and tired, he found himself in a deep forest. Suddenly he sees a forest bird struggling in a snare. The young man rejoiced:

I'll cook myself some roast. And the bird then spoke in a human voice:

Do not destroy me, dear traveler, set me free.

The young man had a kind heart, and he released the bird into the wild. She spread her wings and said:

I will give you this advice in gratitude. Follow this path until you see a large oak tree, climb up it and sit on its branches all night. And then you will see what will happen.

The young man walked along the path, saw a tree, climbed it, sat down on a strong branch, and sat. And the young man imagines that someone is talking under the oak tree. I listened - exactly, three dwarfs were talking.

Did you hear? - says one. “The stream in the royal park has dried up; it used to have such pure water!” Whoever guesses to cut down the pine tree that grows next to the stream and undermine its roots will return the water again.

“And I know one secret,” said another. - There used to be a lot of elk in the royal forest, but now there are not a single one. But the king doesn’t know that the animals are afraid of the elk’s antlers at the park gates. If you take off these antlers, the moose will come back alive.

“I know something too,” said the third. - The king's only daughter has been ill for many years. No doctor can cure the princess. But if you take her to the park before sunrise and sprinkle dew on her, the princess will immediately recover.

The dwarfs talked and left. The young man remembered everything, climbed down from the tree in the morning and went to the royal palace to hire a job.

“Do you want to work as a water-carrier?” they suggested to the young man. - Now we carry water from afar to the palace. There used to be a stream in the park, but it dried up.

The young man looked at the place where the stream was located, saw a pine tree nearby and said:

If you fell this pine tree and undermine its roots, water will appear again.

They felled the tree, dug up the roots, and again there was crystal clear water in the stream.

The king called the young man to him and asked:

Do you know how to return the moose to us? They used to walk here in whole herds, but now they have disappeared.

“Simply as simple as that, Your Majesty,” the young man smiled. - You just need to remove the moose antlers from the park gates. That's all.

The king ordered to remove the horns, and here they are - elk. They're walking in the park again.

“You are a good adviser,” the king remarked graciously. - Won’t you help heal my daughter from a serious illness? She has been sick for many years.

Take the princess to the park before sunrise and sprinkle dew on her,

The young man suggested that she would recover.

The king took the princess to the park, sprinkled dew on her - the girl immediately recovered.

The king wanted to thank the young man.

“Stay to live in the palace,” he says.

You will be my first advisor.

From then on, the young man lived in the palace and was happy until the end of his days.

Young children have an amazing ability to shatter our illusions about motherhood and parenting. When we look at photographs of our babies, we see their happy faces and remember funny moments from their lives. But behind this there is still a lot of physical and emotional work that we do as parents. Hysterics, whims, sleepless nights, quarrels - you must try to react to all this correctly in order to remain a good mother. Or at least try.

Psychotherapist and mother of two children Andrea Loen Neyer went through a difficult journey of raising her age. For herself, she came up with ten phrases that helped her control herself during the difficult period of motherhood.

10 phrases that help me be a good mom

Recently I was walking up the stairs, passing photographs of my children when they were 1 and 3 years old, when I suddenly stopped. I pass by these photos many times a day, but for some reason at that moment I stopped and stared at their young faces.

I started crying as my heart filled with regret. In fact, I don't remember many details of that year - it was one of the most difficult of my life. I slept no more than two hours at a time every night. My youngest kept waking up every two hours or so and my oldest was up at 5am. Most of my days ended in tears.

Looking at these photos makes me want to go back in time and be better. I would like to lead myself through the hardest moments of life, making me the mother I would like to be.

In fact, this was one of the main reasons I left my psychotherapy practice and went into parenting education: I needed to know how to become a better person.

I won't let it get to me

This phrase really saved me. When milk spills, toys take over the house, or the bathtub overflows and ends up on the floor, I take a really long, deep breath and tell myself, I'm not going to let this get to me.

Because this happens almost every day.

He's not trying to make me angry, he's trying to deal with his frustration.

One of my kids is what they call an “energetic” kid. My days as a mother of preschoolers were filled with tantrums. I became an expert at preventing, de-escalating and managing tantrums because I had to! I needed to find a way to throw myself a lifeline.

One of the things I did to avoid my fight-or-flight response when one (or both) of my children experienced aggressive outbursts was to remind myself that my child did not want to make me angry: he was upset and lacked tools, communication skills and skills needed to deal with this situation. Undoubtedly, it is easier to react to aggressive attacks when you yourself are not aggressive.

I wonder why my child is desperate?

Some of the reasons why my boys threw tantrums for hours seemed completely ridiculous to me. I soon realized that no matter how stupid they seemed to me (the banana was broken, the yogurt was stirred, the yellow plate was occupied) for my child they were a significant reason for outbursts of rage.

I overcame the absurdity of these reasons and searched for meaning. In most cases, the answer to the question “Why?” lay deeper than visible: he was fed up with me not paying close attention to him, I offered him a snack much later than I should have, and by this point he was “ready.” And some days kids get angry over a broken banana just because they have very little experience - they don't know that bananas taste the same when broken, or that a banana can't be glued back together. In their world, the banana went from being delicious to being trash.

Knowing the answer to the question “Why?” makes it easier for me to see things in perspective and focus on supporting my child rather than blaming them.

How can I react without being intimidating?

I constantly ask myself: what should my reaction be to my child's actions so that he still feels respected and loved. I wrote the following phrase on the board next to the sink: “What is the most emotionally safe way to respond so that my child knows he is loved?” From "A Safe Home: Why Emotional Safety Is the Key to Raising Children Who Live, Love, and Behave Well" by Joshua Straub.

What my children think of me is more important than what strangers think

I calmly endured children's tantrums, trying to get them out of public places without worrying about the judgmental glances of random spectators. It became more important for me to be on the child’s side than to face the disapproval of strangers.

It's okay to cry

I mean myself, not my children. On several occasions, my children witnessed me unable to hold back my sobs. It doesn't happen often, but when I throw my hands up in surrender and don't know what to do, I just allow myself to feel helpless and sad. Interestingly, every time this happened, my children stopped their noisy games to be with me. I allowed myself to cry until I felt empty.

I taught my children to do the same thing - cry until the tears stop. Clarity often comes after tears.

I need myself

I made the mistake of trying to do everything while raising small children. I realized that in order to keep my self intact, I needed to pay more attention to my needs. Knowing what I was missing and taking steps to make up for it helped me become more fulfilled. And then I was able to share myself with my children.

Give a place to rest

It takes effort. Isn't it stupid that we should make an effort to rest? But it is so. I needed to make time to rest because, imagine, small children take up so much of our energy!

Calm down first. Then speak

When my children are upset, I don't talk to them until I calm down myself (if I feel the need to).

Stop. Think about it

When chaos is happening around me and I start to get irritated, I remind myself: sit down, breathe and think about the available ways to solve the problem. Reminding me of this step helps me avoid getting involved in dramatic twists and turns and find a way out of the situation.

Was this information helpful?

Not really

Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thank you for that
that you are discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us on Facebook And In contact with

Each person takes on enormous responsibility when becoming a parent. And of course, everyone wants their child to grow up kind, sympathetic, honest and brave. But all these qualities do not come out of thin air. Proper upbringing and personal example are the key to success.

We are in website We have collected 10 things that are best introduced to a child under 10 years old.

1. Girls and boys are equal, you need to respect both of them

Respect is a quality that is definitely worth instilling in a child. This includes respect for peers, regardless of their gender.

2. Don't be afraid to make mistakes

Learning from other people's mistakes is a talent that not everyone has. It is important to be able to benefit from your defeats. Teach your child not to be afraid to lose and make mistakes.

3. Grades are not the main thing. The main thing is knowledge

How many parents scold their children for every grade that does not meet their expectations. But assessment is not always an indicator of knowledge. Maybe your child is just a good cheater. Instill in him from childhood the idea that knowledge is much more important than grades in a diary.

4. Parents are not enemies; you can always turn to them for help.

Not everyone can be a friend to their child, especially since they already have friends. And all that is required are good parents who know moderation in everything. Show your child that you can be trusted. A moralizing tone or shouting is not the most suitable way for this.

5. Don’t let a bully, a teacher, or anyone hurt you.

Often parents show that friends, a teacher, or simply other people are more authoritative than the child. Because of this, a lot of complexes are born and the inability to defend one’s opinion. Tell them that respect is important, but defending your point of view and fighting back in some situations is also necessary. The main thing is to do it correctly.

6. Don't do things you don't like to earn the approval of others.

A child does not always understand that popularity is not the most important thing in life, and strives with all his might to get it. Show by example that it is more important to be honest and decent than to gain the favor of other people by overstepping your principles.

7. Don’t be afraid to ask if you don’t understand something.

It's okay to ask questions. And it’s even better than sitting there looking smart, not really understanding anything. It's good if your child learns this in childhood.

8. Always speak up if you're not feeling well.

Moms and dads with experience will not give bad advice! Journalist Joanna Goddard published tips on her blog that will help in almost any situation with children. Remember!

1. If your baby stumbles, ask immediately if he is in pain or if he is just scared. Often the reaction is one of fear, not pain. Share with him a similar story that happened to you or someone close to you in childhood. Kids love stories like this: they are very encouraging in this situation.
2. , do not book all tickets in one row. Let one of the parents be with the children, and the other at a distance. Change each other every few hours. A calm flight is guaranteed not only to the family, but also to those around you.
3. Need to redirect your child's attention? Start your sentence like this: “Didn’t I tell you...?”
4. A stopwatch is a great help in speed tasks. With its help, jackets, hats and boots will be put on in an instant, and cleaning will turn into an exciting quest.
5. Do you want to avoid predictable whims in response to a request to dress warmer? Say: “Stretch out your hands to me!” What happens next depends on your dexterity: that’s it, the capricious one is dressed.
6. Designate one day a week as “cake day” or “bakery Saturday.” Remind: “We enjoy candy on Tuesdays.” And there is no need to repeat “no” every time, and in pleasant anticipation, such a necessary ability as patience develops.
7. If you and your child have to travel on a bus or subway, let him put entertainment for himself in his backpack. This could be, for example, a picture book.
8. Young children most often do not refuse to drink or go to the toilet. The experience of many parents shows: if you put a glass of water or a pot in front of the baby, the first will be empty and the second will be full.
9. Children want to feel not only your physical presence, but also your willingness to focus on them. Try after work, no matter how tired you are, to devote at least 10 minutes (and possibly more) to your child and his news. Don’t rush to do dinner right away, talk to your baby. He should feel that you are always ready to communicate.
10. Take your kids to the market every weekend where they can choose two different vegetables. Find recipes with them and cook them. As a rule, this is a very entertaining game, and not without its benefits: this way you can try a lot of healthy dishes (salads, smoothies). A great way to get acquainted with new products.
11. For those who don’t like brushing their teeth, suggest singing your favorite song during this procedure. He won’t get bored, and, knowing the words by heart, he will know how much time remains before the end of the cleaning.
12. Is your boy or girl prone to anxiety and worry? Dedicate them every morning to your plans: where you will go, what you will do. If you are taking your son or daughter to a place where there are a lot of people, outline the situation in advance so that the children have the opportunity to prepare psychologically.
13. Rarely do children love to put things in order in their room, but show interest in arranging plates, forks, spoons, and unloading the washing machine and dishwasher. Observe your baby, what does he like to do? Let's carry out simple tasks (for example, removing clothes from the dryer). And if you urgently need a few free minutes, ask (say this with the utmost seriousness): “I really need to pour the candied fruits from the package into a bowl.”
14. When your baby is naughty while walking, give him the idea of ​​walking differently: jumping, waddling like a bear, jumping on his right or left leg.
15. During your lunch break, surprise your children by stopping by the school without telling them and having a snack somewhere together.

Before giving your child independence, you need to take care of his safety.

Today we will tell you how to teach your child to behave correctly with strangers.

You can show these illustrations to your child and discuss any dangerous situations with him.

Hide first and last name

Do not write the child's first and last name on his things, do not hang personalized keychains on a child’s backpack, or sign a lunch box or thermos. So someone else might find out his name. If a stranger addresses a child by name, he immediately gains his trust and can further manipulate the baby.

It’s better to write your phone number on the tag in case the item gets lost.

Run away from cars in the opposite direction

We teach children not to get into cars with strangers - that's the right thing to do. Let the child learn one more rule: if a car stops near him or she is driving behind him, and someone from the car wants to attract his attention, you need to quickly run away in the direction opposite to the movement of the car. This will help the child gain time and seek help.

Create a family password

If a stranger asks your child to go to where Mom or Dad is waiting, have the child ask him for his parents' names and password. Come up with it together with your child passphrase for an emergency, if you suddenly ask someone you know to pick up your child from kindergarten or school. The password should be unexpected so that it cannot be guessed: for example, “fluffy orange.”

Install tracking apps

Thanks to the GPS sensor, the application shows the coordinates of your child and the battery level of his phone.

• Life360 Locator iOS | Android
• GPS Phone Tracker iOS |

Wear a watch with a panic button

Gadgets with a panic button come in the form of a watch, key fob, bracelet or medallion. Parents, through a special mobile application, can constantly track the child’s location, and if he presses a button, the parents or the security service receive a signal.

Shouting “I don’t know him!”

Tell your child that if he is grabbed by a stranger, then he can and should be “bad”: bite, kick, scratch and attract attention at any cost, even if it is very scary. You need to shout loudly: “I don’t know him! He wants to take me away!”

Stop talking and keep your distance

The child should know that strangers can chat not only children, but also adults, so it is important to quickly go to a safe place within 5-7 seconds after starting the conversation. You should stand at a distance of 2–2.5 meters from the stranger; if he gets closer, you need to take a step back. Rehearse this situation with your child, show a distance of 2 meters and warn that it must be maintained during the conversation.

Don't get into an elevator with strangers

Teach your child to wait for the elevator with his back to the wall so that he can see everyone who approaches him. And if this is a stranger or someone you barely know, do not go into the elevator with him under any pretext: pretend that you forgot something, or go to the mailbox. If someone invites you in, the best option is to politely answer that your parents only allow you to ride in the elevator alone or with neighbors. If a stranger tries to drag you into an elevator or cover your mouth, you need to fight, scream and bite.

Warn your child that in the modern world, criminals can find their victims via the Internet, and “Misha from next door” is not always the neighbor’s 10-year-old boy. A dangerous person can conduct harmless correspondence. Explain that you cannot tell strangers, even children, your phone number, address, last name, send photographs or tell them when and where you like to go for walks. And even more so, you should not agree to go for a walk with a stranger.