How to understand that you do not need to go on a second date. First date: how to understand that everything went well How your friend's dates go

Teenagers

Failing a first date isn't that hard, and no one is immune from it. A person can be endowed with good looks, have a great sense of humor, be successful in a career and have many other advantages, but this will not save him from an unsuccessful first date.

Signs that the first date failed:

  1. Lack of excitement. Complete indifference, both on the part of a woman and on the part of a man, speaks volumes. Even despite the fact that, for example, a woman has won more than one beauty contest, she will still experience a slight nervous stateif she likes a man. When for one of those meeting it becomes obvious that this is the first and last date, then nervousness and excitement will give way to complete indifference.
  2. Lack of eye to eye contact. No wonder they say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. It is easy to read through the eyes what a person feels in relation to the environment. This sign especially well shows the attitude to what is happening in women. Many of the fair sex love to flirt, shoot with their eyes and use their eyes in every possible way to demonstrate to a man that he is very attractive to her. If a woman on a date looks only at her plate, at the TV screen at the bar and God knows where, but not at the man, then this is the first call that this meeting turned out to be an unsuccessful first date.
  3. Reluctance to shorten the distance. If the interlocutor is experienced in dating and is interested in a partner for further meetings, then there can be no exceptions, he will begin to reduce the distance: he will inadvertently touch the interlocutor’s hand, shake off non-existent dust particles from his shoulder, move closer for a conversation and so on.
  4. You can fail the first date with the help of the phone. If a girl or a guy at a meeting does not part with his communication device, constantly answers calls or calls someone himself, answers endless SMS or just browses a social network, then of course there will be no next date.
  5. Long awkward pauses. If the conversation does not go well, and one of the partners goes out of his way to start a conversation on any topic, and the other looks indifferently and is silent, then this is another clear evidence of an unsuccessful first date.
  6. Denial and silence about the points of contact. People are so arranged that, with their sympathies, they want to find any topics that would help to get closer to the person they like. It can be your favorite music group, movie, hobby, sport, etc. When one of the partners is intensely looking for common topics for conversation and trying to find out mutual interests, while the other is silent and refuses everything, then there is no interest in continuing the acquaintance.
  7. It’s easy to fail a first date by mentioning ex-lovers. This rule applies not only to the first date, but also to subsequent meetings. There is nothing to return to the past, living in the present. Moreover, it is not necessary to make comparisons between people, pronouncing it out loud. If a girl or a guy returns in conversations about their former passions, then the feelings have not completely subsided and the person is not capable of building new and stable relationships.
  8. Refusal to continue. If people like each other, then they will try their best to delay the time of parting. After a joint stay of the prescribed couple of hours of the first date, there will be no desire to go about your business. Therefore, the date can continue in a cafe, a walk in the park, a visit to the cinema and other places. The main thing in this matter will be that people are together.
  9. Other plans. Sometimes on a date, one of the partners, for example, a man, finds out that a woman has only 1-2 hours to meet them, and then her plans include other entertainment (going to the cinema with her friends, visiting a cafe with colleagues, etc.). Then the outcome will be clear, the woman did not like the man, and instead of continuing to date him, she chooses anything, but not spending time together. Conversely, if a woman abandons her predetermined plans and stays with a man, then the date is not a failed event.
  10. A very quick goodbye. The moment of farewell is as important as the date itself. From these minutes one can understand a lot about the prospects for the future: whether they have a place to be or not. No matter how embarrassing people feel, seemingly talking about nonsense, but the minutes of farewell should be pulled a little. If the girl’s farewell consists in the words: “That’s all for now, I’m gone,” and at the same time she really quickly turns around and leaves, then the guy probably shouldn’t flatter herself about her and wait for a second meeting.
  11. It's very easy to screw up a first date with rudeness. A man can be attentive and gallant with a girl, but in relation to other people (a waiter in a cafe, a cashier in a cinema, a simple passer-by, etc.), he can be rude and aggressive. Often, such behavior will alert the girl and she is unlikely to agree to future meetings.
  12. Excessive nervousness. This can apply to many things, for example, a man is very worried about his empty glass and greedily watches other visitors to the cafe who drink enough. This situation may lead to thoughts about some kind of addiction to alcohol. The same can be said about telephone addiction, if one of the partners does not let go of the phone all evening. The opposite side will think more than once whether it is worth starting a relationship with a person who is addicted to something.

Listen to your inner feelings. Your feelings are very important - the heart knows best. Do you feel like there is some kind of connection between you, or some kind of spark that needs to be helped to ignite? Or do you feel indifference, discomfort and lack of serious interest? Rely on what you feel.

  • Reflect on how your partner behaved on the first date. There are many so-called signals that indicate that you should not make a second date:

    • Your partner did nothing but talk about himself all evening - if you felt like you were exclusively listening to your partner, this is not the best start to a relationship.
    • Your partner did nothing but praise himself all evening.
    • Your partner talked about all his problems and did not say anything positive.
    • Your partner has been discussing his exes.
    • Your partner is constantly distracted by phone calls to talk to other people; even worse, if your partner was acting rather cryptic when talking about who called him, or constantly moving away to talk.
    • Your partner disappeared for a while without any explanation or spent most of his time with his friends, avoiding you.
    • Your partner showed up on a date drunk or got drunk during your date.
    • Your partner criticized you.
    • Your partner constantly cursed.
    • You found out that your partner has been lying to you about who they really are or what they are into.
    • Your partner has refused to tell you where he lives; It is very strange!
    • Your partner is boring, dissatisfied or living in the past.
    • Your partner is unable to make eye contact with you.
    • Your partner orders for you without asking what you want.
    • You learn that your partner has recently gone through a difficult breakup, but continues to date his ex.
    • You find out that your partner is married or dating someone else."
  • After the date, additional signs may appear indicating the pointlessness of the second meeting. They may include the following:

    • Your partner did not call you back, did not send you an SMS or letter (accept this fact, your partner is simply not right for you).
    • Neither you nor your partner mentioned wanting to meet again.
    • Your partner is rushing things (for example, trying to get the bill as soon as possible, rushing out of the cinema and immediately catching a taxi home, and so on).
    • The date is scheduled, but your partner has not reminded of himself. This is a big sign that you should not try to meet again.
  • Get into the habit of noticing the signs and delving into your feelings. Relationships with the right person do not require mountains of effort, the right person should not constantly elude you, should not be complicated, arrogant or mediocre. The right person will understand you perfectly. If things go differently, don't waste your time and get on with your life.

    • Don't judge yourself" on a failed first date. Romantic feelings often arise after a series of dates, and you should not reproach yourself for doing something wrong on a first date if it did not work out. If romantic feelings did not arise, or your partner was with you're not on the same wavelength, take it easy.
    • There is no need to think that it will be wrong not to want to meet a partner a second time. If on a date you feel that something is not right, then the sooner you end the relationship with your partner, the better, and you can continue to look for the person who is right for you.
    • Keep a positive attitude. Dates that end in nothing are paths that you take off the main path that leads to your true love. You learn, your partners learn, and you soon find what you are looking for.
  • Sometimes details can lead you to the right thoughts. Remember how the gentleman made a date: whether he tried to reschedule the meeting, which of you chose the place and date, whether he was late, etc. Genuine interest is difficult to hide, a resolute man is unlikely to cancel the meeting several times or dictate conditions where to have a date.

    Were you comfortable

    The feeling of awkwardness in the first minutes of a date is a common thing. However, if you felt tense during the entire meeting or were tormented by long pauses in the conversation, things are bad - most likely there will be no continuation. And if it does, then think about it, would you like to invest in relationships, breaking through your own (or partner's) feeling of discomfort and tension? On the other hand, there are enough examples when persistent sympathy arose between people much later than the first date.

    Is it easy for you to find a common language

    You like the same books and movies, work in related fields, or share a similar lifestyle are all good signs. The presence of common interests and a similar outlook on life is very close. However, do not forget about the rule of attracting opposites. In this case, the tone of the conversation about differing interests should alert you: if the gentleman was belligerent and argued loudly, proving his case, it is hardly worth preparing for a second date.

    What topics did you discuss

    Mutual sympathy often pushes us to talk about serious (and often personal) topics. If you've been discussing the weather, the past weekend, or your jobs all the time, don't put high hopes on your "second time." The same rule applies to the situation if you or your partner have not parted with your smartphone throughout the meeting - this is a good indicator of whether you are interested in the interlocutor (and vice versa).

    What was his body language saying?

    Those we like, we unconsciously want to touch. Therefore, if on a date he used every opportunity to touch you - bingo! There was definitely a spark between the two of you.

    However, you should not consider all this as a set of strict rules: what if you and your gentleman are terry introverts who simply didn’t immediately consider each other as “their soul mate”? Some clues about whether a man likes you can be found

    Will it? Let's analyze? So, let's begin . His behavior during your first date is very important. When you say something, he asks you questions. You unwittingly tell him about your childhood, your family and friends. He loves to give comments, he jokes and watches you closely. He also talks about himself with pleasure and you don't even have to ask him for anything.

    If everything is completely the other way, your conversation is tense, and you make long pauses and feel uncomfortable, and he often glances at his watch or looks away all the time, then alas. And if he is in a hurry for an important meeting or urgently needs to go to work, then it is better to forget about him right away, or, as they say, hope for the best, and still be prepared for the worst. There is another interesting point. You must have heard something like: “Do you want anything else?” From men. They say this most often towards the end of your meeting. There is another phrase: "Let's stay here and chat for a while, okay?" They can say it in a lot of ways, but what do you think it means? I can assure you it is not. The first of these is just to say so to honor the traditions of a polite person and is nothing more than a cliché expressed, as a rule, indifferently. You, for your part, answer indifferently in your turn.

    As for the other, the situation is more interesting. If a man asks such a question, he most likely hopes for your positive answer, which is a strong indication that he is interested in you and feels good with you, hoping for. If he didn't kiss you after the first or second date, or if he just kissed you on the cheek, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you. It's quite the opposite, he's serious about you, or maybe he's shy. But you, in turn, do not be surprised for a long time. Just kiss him yourself if you want. It's not a problem, is it? He will even thank you for it.

    You wonder if he will call or not. If he did not do it the next day, this is not a reason to be upset. You don't have to go to the toilet with your phone in your hand and keep it next to you to sleep, or look at it all the time with hope. Return to your daily life. If you can't answer the call the moment he calls you, he will call you back anyway if he really needs to talk to you.

    Mostly men call before they intend to spend with you. It also takes time to think things through, especially if you've impressed him.

    I'll even tell you more, if a man is serious, he won't call you right away. And if you feel that he is really attracted to you and you feel attracted to each other, you can call yourself or (even better) send him an SMS. If he doesn't answer it for a few days, then it looks like there is no chance for you.

    If he said "see you" or promised to call you, it does not mean that it will be the same as he said. He should say something like that when your first date is over. Don't get upset and don't blame yourself. Nor should it be thought that he was unable to see who you really are or pay attention to your merits during your first date. He saw what he wanted and he doesn't care about the rest. Do you really need such a person? Don't think. If he says "Goodbye!" and he mentions a rough date when he would like you to meet next, you can be proud of yourself. I can say that it will be either within the next week after the first meeting or right on the day that he noted.

    So, you've already started dating, and everything is fine. This is amazing. The further, the more interesting it will be. To be continued…

    Can't be perfect. However, there are ways to determine if everything is going as it should. The first date is usually awkward, because each partner is worried: what first impression did he make, whether he likes him, does he look good, does he talk too much ...

    How do you know if your first date was successful or not?

    It will help you in this matter, just be careful!

    1. Duration of the date

    If everything is going well, you won't want the meeting to end. So, if a date lasts more than an hour, this is a good reason to consider it successful. If you or your boyfriend endlessly look at the clock, then the date is a failure.

    2. Light touches

    This is a very subtle sign, if the person with whom you came on a date does not pounce on you and does not begin to hug - this does not mean that the evening is lost. But if he touches your arm, hair, knee, and both of you feel comfortable at the same time - our congratulations!

    3. The end of a good first date drags on.

    If it ends abruptly, without trying to appoint a new one and without plans for the next evening, everything is sad. If you both want to be around a little more, that's a great sign. You are also on the right track if the partner does not run away, saying that he urgently needs to feed the dog, or get up early in the morning.

    4. Pleasant conversation

    If it’s easy for you to communicate with each other, this is a sure sign of a successful first date. The conversation should be relaxed and natural, and topics for conversation should arise by themselves.

    5. Plans for the future

    We are not saying that the first date should end with a conversation about the wedding - by no means! However, if you share plans with each other about what you would like to do and try in the future, this is a good sign. You will surely meet again!

    6. Eye Contact

    When partners don't like each other, they usually don't make eye contact. And vice versa. So, if you keep looking at each other and making eye contact while talking, everything is going according to plan.

    7. Complete relaxation

    Pay attention to your partner's posture. If he is tense and constrained, this is a bad sign. If he is relaxed and feels at ease, the first date goes according to plan!

    8. Second date

    And, of course, if you agreed on a second meeting, then the first one went great. Usually, if one of the partners did not like it, the second one will no longer be.

    As you can see, it's not hard to tell if a first date is going well. Just be careful! Watch out for the signs that will guide you.

    The best first date advice- do not make it too intimate and cloying!