The daughter-in-law filmed her father-in-law pestering her. An obsession came true

Hello. Not so long ago, literally more than two months ago, I wrote my story here. It's called "Obsession!" In that story, I talked about how I’ve been married for 6 years, my husband and I live well. The problem I had was this: when meeting my in-laws, I constantly stared at my father-in-law’s huge household. My mother-in-law seemed to be jealous, but everything was always innocent and it never went further than my thoughts and dreams about him. So I decided to register and write a sequel.
Until the new year, everything was as usual, we had not even seen each other during this period of time that had passed since the writing of the story. On New Year my mother-in-law decided to gather us at her place. There was no one else but us. We arrived early specifically so that my daughter had time to play with her grandparents before bed. By 10 pm, when my daughter had already fallen asleep and the table was ready, we finally sat down. At first it was somehow awkward, but then we drank a little without an empty stomach, had a snack and started talking. The atmosphere was good and relaxed. And so we greeted midnight with the chiming of the chimes. And at one in the morning the mother-in-law received a call and was told that her only relative, her aunt, was in the hospital. We were immediately scared. But she calmed us down and told us not to even think about spoiling our holiday. The mother-in-law left, saying that she would return in the morning. In principle, no one really knew the aunt. I've never seen her at all. Of course, the mood was no longer the same and at two o’clock we had already gone to our rooms. Trying not to wake our daughter, we immediately went to bed. My husband fell asleep almost immediately, but I kept tossing and turning. I decided to go watch TV in the living room. Judging by the silence and darkness in the father-in-law's bedroom, he was also asleep. I turned on the TV quietly and started watching a disco on channel one. I think it was just after four. Then I apparently dozed off. I woke up feeling cold, and someone’s hands were carefully stroking and covering me. In my sleep I didn’t even understand how it happened that I kissed... my father-in-law. And he kissed back. What happened next was miraculous. It took me a long time to come to my senses. She returned to her husband when it was already morning. My mother-in-law arrived at 10 a.m. tired and immediately went to bed. My father-in-law, husband and I drank tea and got ready to go home so as not to make noise and not disturb my mother-in-law’s sleep. Two long days I thought about everything that happened. And on the third day he called me himself. At that moment I was cooking, and my husband and daughter were walking on the playground. The father-in-law said that he first called his husband and carefully found out from him. We agreed to meet. On January 4 we met and I understood everything. We couldn't stop talking. I realized that I love this man more than anything in the world. It turns out that he fell in love with me a long time ago, almost from the first day we met. He saw all my views, but did not want to ruin his son’s life, he was afraid to take the initiative if he was still mistaken that I was not indifferent to him. That day we found out everything. And on January 27, I left my husband for my father-in-law. My husband was in terrible shock, but he couldn’t do anything to me. With pain in my heart, I left my daughter with my husband. She is still too young to understand why her mother now lives with her grandfather. My mother-in-law sent me a hundred curses after me. Volodya didn’t want to tell me, but I heard everything perfectly when his phone rang. But we are HAPPY that we are finally together. And I’m not ashamed to be happy and shout to the whole world that I love this man, and he loves me. Over time, the husband will come to terms, give a divorce and allow him to see his daughter. Mother-in-law... I hope she will cope and be happy again. And Volodya and I started new life. I take care of our apartment when he is at work. And by the way, in reality everything is as gorgeous as it once was in my fantasies. Only now they have become a reality. I wish everyone to find their love and happiness. Thank you for reading)

I'm in a sticky situation and I'm asking for your advice! Six months ago I married a wonderful man for love young man. We live in perfect harmony, we even get along with our mother-in-law, but there is trouble with our father-in-law. He shows me unambiguous signs of attention, eats me with his eyes, and I don’t even understand how my mother-in-law hasn’t noticed this yet! And I am very scared that I will be to blame for this situation! At first I did not react in any way to this behavior of my father-in-law, then I began to pull him back, reminding him that I was his son’s wife, but he did not stop harassing me. For now, we cannot move out from our in-laws due to financial circumstances. I haven’t told my husband yet either, I’m afraid that this will lead to a conflict. But you can’t leave it like that either. Please advise how I can cool my father-in-law's ardor?

Sveta,
Moscow, 21 years old
13.01.11

Our experts' opinions

• Alyona

  Conflict in such a situation is still inevitable. So, in my opinion, you need to prepare the ground so that you are not made the last one in this conflict. The fact is that these three characters are close relatives: father, mother and son. It will be easier for them to accept the version that an outsider, an outsider, is to blame for the destruction of their family, and not someone from within. So get ready... If the father-in-law cannot calm down, it means, most likely, this person does not have high moral and ethical qualities. Why should he lie to you if something happens? And who will your husband believe if he suddenly finds a scene in which your father-in-law is groping you in the corner? Even if you start screaming that this lustful goat has been stalking you for a long time, what do you think your husband’s response will be? “If this is true, why have you been silent until now?!” And he will be right to stop believing you. After all, you yourself don’t trust him if you don’t want to ask him for help. I would do this: I wouldn’t tell my husband directly that his father is dirty on you. But she would begin to sow a gradual “panic” in her husband’s head about daddy’s behavior. For example, I would say to my husband: “Listen, can you watch your father from the side? Maybe I've already gone completely crazy, but he behaves strangely around me. Don't get me wrong, but honestly, if he weren't your father, I'd think he had his eye on me. Maybe he even has this style of communicating with young girls?” And so on. And every attempt by your father-in-law to show you certain signs of attention, voice it out loud to your husband in an innocent form - throw some kind of poisoned darts. For example: “Your dad took a piss today, of course. I’m standing in the kitchen, he walks by and slaps me on the ass... I couldn’t even find what to say to him to this... If it were a stranger, I would yell at him, but here you don’t understand: is this some kind of fatherly sign of attention, either he confused me with your mother...” In addition, try not to be alone or close to your father-in-law, always put someone else between him and yourself - your husband or mother-in-law. If in this case he tries to unambiguously “stick” you, do not appeal to his reason and morality, it will not work. Your weapon is irony and sarcasm, and such that not only he, but also those around him can hear them. Let's say you are sitting at the table, your husband is on the left, his dad is on the right and puts his hand on your knee. You: “Oh, Ivan Ivanovich, haven’t you confused my knee with yours?” Take your hand off my knee, otherwise I’ll think something bad about you.” And so on. Don’t accuse him of flirting, but catch him in the ambiguity of his behavior in front of witnesses. Then there is a greater chance that the husband himself will want to have a heart-to-heart talk with dad, and will quickly find financial opportunities for his parents to move out. And if the husband is slow-witted, then “plan B”: you throw a tantrum at him, tell him with tears that you are tired of living in someone else’s house, you want independence, you want to live as your own real family, and not be an eternal guest in someone else’s. Just like that - into tears and hysterics. For if a husband is comfortable in his parents’ house, he may not start fussing about his own corner for a very long time. And in your case, the faster you move at least somewhere away from his parents, the greater the chance of saving the family.

• Sergey

  In my opinion, if you live with your husband in perfect harmony, then it is worth discussing the situation with him. But it’s better to do this without blaming anyone, but as if asking for advice. Tell us what is happening, say that you don’t like it, you really don’t want to make a scandal and quarrel with your relatives, but you don’t have the strength to endure it anymore. Ask for advice on what to do, what to do in this or that case. Perhaps you are simply misinterpreting manifestations of fatherly love. This is also possible. Maybe. I think if your relationship is really close and trusting, then you’ll come up with something together. Although personally, if my wife told me this, I would immediately move away from such relatives. The trouble with this situation is that wherever you throw it, there is a wedge everywhere. Trying to influence your father-in-law on your own, as I understand it, is pointless. You can, of course, threaten, saying that if you allow yourself to do anything like that again, I will tell my husband everything or I will pack my things and leave, and deal with my son later as you wish. It is precisely to threaten, decisively and harshly, and not to mumble something unintelligible, trying to appeal to conscience. But practice shows that a person who allows himself to pester his son’s wife cannot be brought to reason with such threats. You will only provoke and embitter. You can complain to your mother-in-law. But, I assure you, she is far from stupid and not blind. And if the father-in-law really allows himself too much, he probably sees everything and only grits his teeth. And if so, then there will be no sense in it, otherwise she would have expressed everything to her husband long ago. The husband remains. After all, it was he who took you as his wife, he promised to keep you and love you, he brought you to this house. So let him solve the problem with his own lustful daddy. Well, as a last option, you can just leave silently. And when everyone runs in together, when the husband comes running to find out what the matter is, tell him everything as it is and say that you will never set foot in that house again. In any case, in my opinion, this matter will not be resolved peacefully. So why waste time?

Hello. I really need your advice, because I myself am already confused. Maybe this is due to the fact that I am 7 months pregnant and hormones are playing))). Since I insist on a separate, even rented 1-room apartment, but only mine.
My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We have a daughter and will soon have a second child. In general, we live well with my husband, there are almost no conflicts between us as such, the only thing is that lately I simply openly HATE his father, while I cannot fight my feelings in any way.
I'll start everything in order. My husband’s parents have 2 apartments (2 apartments and 1 apartment) + they rent 1 apartment from a relative for an office (all of this is on one site) When I got married, we had a question about where to live. I have a 3-room apartment where my mother and brother live. Of course, I wanted to stay at home, but my mother-in-law convinced me by promising: “The newlyweds will live separately, the father-in-law will live with her at the dacha (dacha 30 km from home) and just go to work from there.” Well, in general, the fun began.
Having moved to them 2 months later, I gave birth to a daughter, my mother-in-law safely went to the dacha, but her father-in-law stayed + her son from her first marriage also came to live with us. She rented out a 1-room apartment. As a result, “our separate housing” was just that. Husband, his brother, father-in-law + me and my daughter. This could not continue for long and I went to my mother. After some time, my brother-in-law came to visit (she cried, promised everything again), and in the end I returned. The only thing that has changed is that my husband’s older brother went to live with his girlfriend. But there is always the possibility that he will return. We continue to live like this for 5 years. My mother-in-law is at the dacha, her husband is with me.
My relationship with my father-in-law was normal until I married his son. Even at the wedding, they jokingly told me that I would face not my mother’s, but my father’s jealousy.
When we started living together, it all started with some advice. Well, for example. After giving birth to a child, I periodically scolded my husband for not helping me and preferring to go out with friends. To which the father-in-law always butted in and said: “You shouldn’t have gotten married,” or phrases like “I got a wife, but she needs to be fed like a dog.” As for finances, he always said: “I didn’t give your mother money, she worked,” and that’s all in that context. There were a lot of scandals on my part and my husband’s promises that everything would calm down, but nothing changed. My daughter was born, when the question arose about registration, my father-in-law said that they would register her only for 1 year and then they would look (at the same time, I am a Muscovite myself and wanted to register her with me). In general, my father-in-law gets involved in all our family affairs, up to how much my husband gave me money and for what. It even gets funny: if he buys me something, he asks me not to tell my dad. Over the course of 5 years, I have accumulated so much negativity towards this person that now I even once again I can't look at him.
Now I'm expecting my second child, and I understand that the situation is not changing.
My mother-in-law feels great at the dacha (living alone). I tried to hint to her that she would give her 1-room apartment (which she rents out) either to us or to her father-in-law, to which she said that she needed money (she prefers to forget about her promises). For me the situation is somehow hopeless. My husband doesn’t understand why I want to live separately, everything suits him. And of course, for me important point. Living in their apartment, I cannot take any serious steps such as buying new furniture or renovating. Since the mother-in-law, living in the country, decides from there which sofa to buy, or she has already ordered something. On her rare visits, she rearranges the kitchen as it suits her and little things in the rooms. And of course, with partial periodicity, he says, “I’m the housewife here for now.” And it’s clear that I really want to live separately, where I would feel like a full-fledged housewife.
FU burned out, even partially felt better.

Fasting for the education of the Little Russians, to whom these customs of the Great Russians were hitherto unknown

A photographic card to attract attention.
The Sokolov family from Tambov province:

A tree-plant with one trunk growing from the root system and branches forming a crown ◆
Kush - a plant with many tree-like branches growing from a common root system, without a central trunk ◆

Daughter-in-law - the one whom the father-in-law's son has sex with (the son's wife in relation to his father-in-law) ◆
Daughter-in-law - when two people take turns fucking a daughter-in-law - a son and his father ◆

What would you say if it suddenly became clear that:
- the one whom you called your father all your life is actually your uncle (your father’s brother from your grandmother and your great-grandfather)?
-that the one whom you considered your grandfather all your life is actually your father (and he is also the father of your “father” who is actually not your father, but your uncle)?
- that half of your brothers and sisters in your large family the mother is the same as yours, and the fathers are different (some of them have the same father as you, and the other part have the same father as your uncle - native son their grandfather, who in turn is your father)?

To begin with, you would break your head in such a pedigree.
This is out of habit. Because you are not a Great Russian.
Because for the vast majority of Great Russians this is exactly the multi-barrel family tree(booth) is typical in their genealogy. Typical because it was according to this model that intra-family sexual life was organized, widespread throughout the villages, where the vast majority of today's population of Russia comes from (at the end of the 19th - beginning of the 20th century, 85% of the population of Russia lived in villages, and a century earlier, all 90%) .
Here, of course, one can argue that universal does not mean universal.
I agree 100%.
This statement is just as true as the fact that among the widespread and traditional drunkenness in Russia, you can try to look for individual cases of hereditary absolute abstainers from grandfather and great-grandfather.

For serf fathers of families with many children, the prospect of being polygamists in their hut was so attractive (why, at least at home, in relation to your girls, not be like a landowner with the right of the first night and the custom of freely giving birth to all his courtyard girls?), that from Neither simple serfs, nor Cossacks, nor Old Believers refused this.
In order to draw more definite conclusions about the reasons that most contributed to the fact that in the process of socially conditioned natural selection of behavior patterns among the Great Russians, this particular model was fixed, additional research is needed that would clarify which of the factors was decisive here. The one mentioned above, or the atavistic echoes of customs brought into the new environment (for example, the custom practiced back in the 20s of the 20th century among Permians to give a respected guest one of their girls for the night) that existed among some ethnic groups of the empire before A community of Great Russians began to form.
The fact that when they became Great Russians they called themselves Christians (peasants), apparently, their traditional everyday sex life didn't change at all.

In turn, every girl growing up in such families knew her prospect from childhood - after marrying into a Great Russian family, to be publicly fucked alternately by her husband and father-in-law (these are not labyrinths of secret passages to separate alcoves with a staff of servants ensuring the secrecy of walking to the left of their wives to the favorites of the nobles - here all sexual intercourse took place in one hut in front of the whole family).
Thus, the traditions of community strengthened the sexual community, and the uncertainty in determining the paternity of the next generation, in turn, stimulated the extinction of the original community (the head of the family could not be 100% sure that by separating one of his sons, he was giving part of his property to his son, and not uncle).

From childhood, children saw the immoral (from the point of view of Christianity) behavior of their parents, so the first consequence of this was that in Great Russia (as in Little Russia) children addressing their parents as “you” could not appear and take root.
But fear without respect was present - because just as the Tsar stood above the laws on the scale of the state in the minds of the Great Russian, so the head of the family was likened in his mind to the almighty ruler of the local, intra-family, intra-hut scale.

The second consequence of disrespect for such a Great Russian communally sexualized mother was the birth and flourishing of the richest genre of everyday obscene ditties performed by them in front of these women and their children.

That is why the Little Russians resisted marrying their daughters to the Great Russians - they knew what kind of sexual fate was in store for them there (unacceptable from their point of view).
There are many quotes from those years that say that even in nearby Little Russian villages and Great Russian villages there were almost no mutual marriages.
But this is another topic, derivative from this one.

This is how N. Kostomarov noted this difference in 1861:

In the character of the Ukrainian people, personal will prevails, while in the Russian people, universality prevails. For a Ukrainian, the connection between people is fundamentally based on mutual consent and can disintegrate according to their mutual will.

Russians strive to consolidate the necessity and inseparability of once established connection, and the very reason for the establishment is attributed to God’s will and, therefore, removed from human criticism.

The team for a Ukrainian is not the same as for a Russian. For the first, it is a voluntary organization of people. In Ukraine, each member of the community is an independent person, an original owner. His responsibility in the community is only in the sphere of mutual security and benefit of everyone.

For a Russian, a collective is an expression of a common will that absorbs everyone’s personal identity.

FAMILY OR COMMUNITY

Russians have a strong desire for close collective organization people where personal interests are destroyed under the rule of common interests. The inviolable legitimacy of the common will, expressed by the meaning of a difficult fate, coincides in the Russian people with the unity of family life, the indivisibility of families, and communal property.
For a Ukrainian, there is nothing harder and more disgusting than such an order.

Ukrainian families are divided and fragmented as soon as the need for independent life. Parental guardianship over adult children seems to Ukrainians to be an intolerable despotism. The claims of older brothers against younger ones, as well as the relations of uncles with nephews, arouse violent enmity between them.
Blood ties and kinship have little incentive for Ukrainians to agree and mutual love. On the contrary, very often people who are friendly, meek, peaceful and accommodating are in irreconcilable hostility with their blood relatives. Quarrels between relatives are the most common phenomenon in any class.
In Ukraine, in order to preserve love and harmony between close relatives, they need to separate and have as little as possible in common. The kinship of Ukrainians' ties tends to weaken them rather than strengthen them.

On the contrary, among Russians, blood ties often force a person to be friendlier, fairer, more forgiving towards others, even when he does not differ in these qualities at all in relation to strangers. A Russian, out of obedience to duty, is ready to force himself to love his neighbors by blood, even if he doesn’t like them, to be condescending towards them because they are akin to him, he is ready to make a personal sacrifice for them, realizing that they are not worth it - they are their own blood .

Some Russians who acquired an estate in Ukraine sometimes tried to introduce Russian collectivism and indivisibility into Ukrainian families. The result was disgusting scenes.
Not only siblings were ready to start a fight every minute, but sons dragged their fathers by the hair through the thresholds of the house.

A Ukrainian is then a respectful son when his parents leave him complete freedom and, in their old age, submit to his will. Then a good brother lives with his brother as a neighbor, as a comrade, without having anything in common, inseparable.
In Ukrainian families, the rule is followed: to each his own. Not only do adult family members not wear each other’s clothes, even children each have their own.

In Russian peasant life, two sisters often do not know which of them belongs to this or that sheepskin coat, and there is no mention of a separate accessory among children.

WOMAN, MOTHER

Woman in Russian culture rarely rises to her human ideal, rarely does her beauty rise above matter, rarely does a feeling in love appreciate anything in her beyond the limits of her bodily form, the valor and dignity of a woman’s soul is rarely shown.

Ukrainian woman in folklore, on the contrary, is so spiritually beautiful that even in her fall she poetically expresses her pure nature, and is ashamed of her humiliation. The songs are playful, comic, and sharply express the contrast between the nature of Ukrainian and Russian peoples. In Ukrainian songs about a woman, a mother, the charm of words and expressions reaches the point of true artistry.

On the contrary, Russian songs of this category show nothing more than the desire of someone tired of prosaic work to forget for a minute somehow, without racking their brains, without touching the heart and imagination. This song exists not for its own sake, but for some kind of decoration, more material pleasure.

PERSONALITY

Among the Russians, a serf connected his fate with the life of his master: the will of the master began to replace his own will for him.

In Ukraine, life flowed differently. The concept of community was almost absent. The ancient right of personal freedom was not absorbed by the preponderance of social power, and the concept of common land ownership was not developed. Each farmer was an independent owner of his land. Thus, property rights elevated the rich and powerful into an upper class, while enslaving the mass of the poor people. But in Ukraine, the tycoon-owner did not represent the expression of the lordly, and through it, the royal will; he was the owner by right. This right expressed strength, the triumph of circumstances and the age of origin. Naturally, in Ukraine, a serf, dependent person, at the first opportunity, he wanted to become free.

In Russia, a serf could not wish for this, because he found his master dependent on another higher will, just as he himself depended on him.

ROLE OF THE RULER

For Russians, if God exalts and rewards one, and punishes another, it means that the tsar, fulfilling the divine will on earth, should do the same. This is clearly expressed by the Russian proverb: the will of God, the judgment of the kings. Hence the resignation of the people, who endure even what exceeds the limits of human patience. To resist a king, even an unrighteous one, means to resist God - both sinful and dangerous, because God will send even worse troubles.

In Russia, the Tsar-Sovereign is the full owner of the entire state. The word “sovereign” meant an owner who has the unconditional right, at his own discretion, to dispose of everything that is in his state, as if it were his own things. The Russians know that what was given from the tsar could always be taken away by him and given to another, as happened incessantly.

Sleeping is a practice in the Russian village, in which a man, the head of a large peasant family (living in one hut), has sexual intercourse with younger women family, usually with his son's wife (a relationship between a father-in-law and his daughter-in-law, called a daughter-in-law). This practice became especially widespread in the 18th and 19th centuries.

Many 19th century publicists wrote in detail about the prevalence of daughter-in-law, associated with the absolute power of the “bolshka”, “father of the family” (householder) over their household (A. N. Engelhardt - “Letters from the Village”; primary materials from the ethnographic bureau of the prince V. N. Tenishev ).

Russian publicist V.D. Nabokov wrote: “Nowhere, it seems, except Russia, is there at least one type of incest that has acquired the character of an almost normal everyday phenomenon, having received the corresponding technical name - incestuousness.”

Dreaming is mentioned in fiction (“Fathers and Sons” by I. S. Turgenev, “The Life of a Woman” by N. S. Leskov, “The Well” by S. V. Loginov). In the book V. M. Doroshevich "Sakhalin" is given folk sign: As soon as the daughter-in-law starts helping, the bell cannot be moved from its place. The motifs of daughter-in-law in D. D. Shostakovich’s opera “Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk” were introduced by the librettists and are absent in Leskov’s story of the same name. Also, daughter-in-law is found in Mikhail Sholokhov’s novel Quiet Don, when Daria Melekhova tries to seduce her father-in-law Pantelei Prokofievich, in the absence of her husband Peter, explaining this by saying that “she cannot live without a Cossack.”

Here's what contemporaries wrote about it (quotes and scans from pre-revolutionary publications):

Information about Cossack communities on the Don.
Materials for common law. Volume 1.

1.

2.

3. Son-in-law

Special mention should be made of such a phenomenon of rural life as daughter-in-law. It should be recognized that sexual intimacy between the head of a peasant family (bolshak) and his daughter-in-law was not an exceptional phenomenon, but for the patriarchal way of rural life, to some extent, commonplace. “It seems that nowhere except Russia,” noted V.D. Nabokov, “at least one type of incest has acquired the character of an almost normal everyday phenomenon, receiving the corresponding technical name - incestuousness” [Cit. from: 35, p. 52]. Observers noted that this custom was still alive at the end of the 19th century, and one of the reasons for its persistence was the seasonal outflow of young men to work. Although this form of incest was condemned by enlightened society, it was not considered a serious offense by the peasants. In a number of places where daughter-in-law was common, this vice was not given much importance. Moreover, sometimes they said about the daughter-in-law with a degree of sympathy: “He loves his daughter-in-law. Yong lives with her as if he were his wife, he liked her.” According to the observation of ethnographer A.V. Balov, in Yaroslavl villages “in-laws, or illegal cohabitation between a father-in-law and a daughter-in-law, is a fairly common phenomenon.”

In the eyes of the peasants, daughter-in-law was a sin, but not a crime. The law interpreted this act from a different position. Even if the sexual relationship between father-in-law and daughter-in-law was not the result of violent acts, it was still a criminal act, since it violated the ban on sexual intercourse between close relatives, in in this case in nature, and, therefore, was nothing more than incest.

The reason for the existence of this form of satisfying sexual needs should be seen in the peculiarities of peasant life. One of the reasons is early marriages. In the middle of the 19th century, according to A.P. Zvonkov, in the villages of the Elatom district of the Tambov province it was customary to marry 12 - 13 summer boys for brides 16-17 years old. Fathers prone to daughter-in-law deliberately married their sons young in order to take advantage of their inexperience. Another reason that created conditions for the spread of this vice in the rural environment was the waste trades of peasants. “The young spouse will not live every year before his father sends him to the Volga or somewhere to work. The wife is left alone under the weak control of her mother-in-law.” An informant from the Bolkhov district of the Oryol province reported in 1899: “Childhood is common here because husbands go to work, see their wives only twice a year, while the father-in-law stays at home and manages at his own discretion.” The author of correspondence from the Poshekhonsky district of the Yaroslavl province noted that with the dominance of latrine trades in the district, young people often, after a month or two, leave for a foreign country for a year, or even more, like, for example, all the people who live as servants in commercial establishments in the city. St. Petersburg and Moscow. The content is similar to information from the Medynsky district of the Kaluga province. “There are often cases in families where a young husband, working in a factory, is absent for years or is serving military service, and the father-in-law begins to have sex with the most daring and in a rude way» .

The mechanism for inducing a daughter-in-law to cohabit with her father-in-law was quite simple. Taking advantage of the absence of his son (departure, service), and sometimes in his presence, the father-in-law forced his daughter-in-law to have sexual intercourse. All means were used: persuasion, gifts, and promises. easy work. Usually such a targeted siege produced results. Otherwise, the lot of the young woman was backbreaking work, accompanied by nagging, curses, and often beatings. The life of women who refused their fathers-in-law to satisfy their carnal desires, according to a rural correspondent from the Kaluga province, became unbearably painful. According to a peasant woman who experienced being a daughter-in-law, if her father-in-law refused, he would take revenge on his daughter-in-law by telling her son all sorts of nasty things about her having affairs with strangers in his absence. Specialist in civil law pre-revolutionary times, E. T. Solovyov noted in his work that “when a daughter-in-law does not want to be her father-in-law’s cohabitant, she receives severe beatings from him, arrest in the underground, cellar or in a cold barn.”

Typical example father-in-law's inducement of his daughters-in-law to have sexual intercourse is given in the correspondence (1899) of a resident of the village of Krestovozdvizhenskie Ryabinki, Bolkhov district, Oryol province, V. T. Perkov. “The rich peasant Semin, 46 years old, having a sick wife, sent his two sons to the “mines”, and he himself was left with two daughters-in-law. He began to court the wife of Gregory’s eldest son, and since peasant women are very weak in dress and have an addiction to alcoholic beverages, it is clear that the father-in-law quickly became friends with his daughter-in-law. Then he began to “make love” to the younger one. For a long time she did not give up, but due to oppression and gifts, she agreed. The younger daughter-in-law, noticing the “cupids” between her father-in-law and her eldest, brought her mother-in-law into the barn during their intercourse. It ended with the husband buying a blue box sundress for the old woman and giving his daughters-in-law a scarf each.”

A similar situation of a woman choosing an everyday and life strategy that is beneficial for herself was described by an informant from the Poshekhonsky district of the Yaroslavl province. One 37-year-old peasant married his son to a young beauty in order to get closer to her, and then sent his son to work in St. Petersburg. While the son was away, the father-in-law got along with his daughter-in-law and was born bastard, and the father eventually forced his son to leave his family and home and finally leave for the city.

Family love conflicts were not always resolved successfully; immoral sexual relations in a peasant family sometimes had a tragic ending. According to the Don Regional Gazette for 1873, the wife killed her husband, convicting him of being a daughter-in-law. Peasant s. Popovka of the Podgorensky volost of the Kozlovsky district of the Tambov province Filimon Volkov killed his wife for her illegal cohabitation with his father. A case of murder by a son of his father-in-law took place in the village. Refugees of the Pskov province. At the beginning of the twentieth century. The district court heard the case of Matryona K. and her father-in-law Dmitry K., accused of infanticide. The accused Matryona K., a peasant woman, married, 30 years old, when questioned by a police officer, admitted to him that for 6 years, obeying the insistence of her father-in-law, she had been in a relationship with him, and gave birth to a son from him, who is now about five years old. From him she became pregnant a second time. Father-in-law Dmitry K., a peasant, 59 years old, having learned that the birth was approaching, ordered her to go to Riga and, as soon as she gave birth, he grabbed the child and buried him in the ground in a barn. In the village The pure Bochkars of the Kostroma province, the mother of the peasant Kochnev, who were in a love affair with him, poisoned her daughter-in-law. The reason for the poisoning was jealousy. love affair Mother and son were confirmed by their relatives during the investigation.

Rarely did young women try to find protection from sexual assault by their father-in-law in the volost court, but, as a rule, they avoided examining such cases. True, the pre-revolutionary lawyer I.G. Orshansky in his study gave an example when, following a complaint from a daughter-in-law about her father-in-law’s persuasion to become a daughter-in-law, the latter was deprived of his “majority” by a decision of the volost court. But this was the exception rather than the rule. In cases where a criminal relationship between a father-in-law and a daughter-in-law was discovered, the woman who was expected to face cruel reprisals from her husband was usually found guilty. This is a typical result of an arbitrary massacre. “The wife was beaten half to death; her hair was half torn out, her face was turned into one continuous bruise, her body was plucked, her clothes were torn into small shreds, so that the woman found herself completely naked on the street.”