Happy birthday greetings are funny I'm not. Funny birthday jokes - great congratulations to a man and a woman

Our website has collected a lot cool congratulations. You can congratulate your wife, friend, mother-in-law, girlfriend, work colleagues and many others in an original and humorous way. This will be appreciated not only by those to whom you are addressing your congratulations, but also by those around you.

Wish good health!
So that your chest does not hang like a rag,
For pleasure once a week
Someone should do it for you!
And at dawn in the early morning, when there is no strength to wake up,
So that there is no alarm clock - damn it,
And wild sex woke you up!

To eat and drink,
So that I would like and could,
So that everything and everywhere
It was with whom and it was where!

Let's drink to that three-letter word that men cherish and women value. So let’s drink to “Peace”, and three sips to what you were thinking about...

I wish everyone to love, fall in love,
Get married, have sex.
Then be fruitful, multiply,
And also have sex.
Dedicate yourself to work with ardor,
And then have sex.
Enjoy the blessings of life
And have sex zealously.
Wait for everything I dreamed of,
But still have sex.
And don’t give up on age! –
Getting old, but having sex!
...It’s probably time to wrap things up:
They invited me to have sex.

Our verse to the one in whose honor this holiday is,
Who is the name-bearer, who is the prankster,
Who can do a lot now
After all, this is truly a high point!
It happens once a year for sure,
On which we certainly congratulate you,
Happy birthday, happy birthday to everyone,
Let happiness simply stun you!

Yes, even without drinking a glass, I feel intoxicated! Intoxication with joy, intoxication with your holiday, intoxication with you! Congratulations!

Birthday is cool
It's like the Kama Sutra
For an enthusiastic soul -
It’s so nice, at least dance!

There are the following reasons for drinking:
Funerals, holidays, meetings, farewells,
Christenings, weddings and divorce,
Frost, hunting, New Year,
Recovery, housewarming,
Sadness, repentance, joy,
Success at work, new rank
And just drunkenness for no reason.

Birthday is nice
You are the most important today!
Everyone says this -
My ears burn all day long!

I wish you immodest profits
Huge Swiss bank account
A large dacha outside the city
Good health to boot

Big victories in love affairs
Canaries and Cote d'Azur
All kinds of success in life
And most importantly, reliable friends!

I wish that WOW!
And never OHHO-HO!
A little AH! Well, you can WOW!
To take your breath away.
Of course, to be WOW!!
And so that FU is very little.
So that sometimes WOW!
“WOW!” is not nonsense,
“IT CAN’T BE!” - it’s real,
“FUCK IT!” - even if it’s virtual.
WOW! - so that it surprises more often,
“WELL, EVERYTHING IS KICKED!” was not enough.
And if desired, EGE-GEY!
And to make it come true, come on, pour it!

I wish you to live
Nice and free!
And so that your wallet is there,
Full of money!
I wish you beer oceans,
And they contain rams and shrimps
You would be a better captain
Didn't get out of the round-the-world trip!

Funny and cool congratulations

May you live a beautiful life
I wish you a lot of beer!
In mugs, in jars and in bottles!
A case of beer in the freezer!
And so that you can cope with it,
We are already running to you!

I wish you more rest,
Swim and sunbathe at the sea.
To celebrate this dashing holiday with dignity,
To wake up with a sore head!

But before these, after the banquet
Have a fun night until dawn!
Fabulous days and fun nights,
Good girlfriends and friends to you!

I want to wish everything to be great
A great amount of cash in your wallet
Great colleagues at a great job
Take a five-day break from work on Saturday

Various questions, excellent solutions
You have excellent relationships with your family,
Excellent health, and in your personal life
Let everything be just “excellent” for you!

Cool congratulations and wishes

A basket of success, a bag of luck,
A bag of fun for your birthday,
A healthy backpack for fragile shoulders,
A tight wallet with a wad of bucks - upon meeting!

Where can I get some well-being?
It doesn't happen that way - that's a fact.
But let more be "better"
And there will be less “somehow”.
We wish you on your birthday
Smiles, joyful chores,
Health, happiness and fun
Today Tomorrow, all year round!

Be who you are:
For friends - a good friend,
At home - a loving spouse
And a caring father,
And in bed - well done!

Let the money, huddled in flocks of birds,
flying towards you like a hurricane...
Let them surround, attack and climb
with impudence in your pocket!!!

Funny and funny congratulations

Don't drink water if you can drink wine!
Don't drink wine if you can drink it good wine!
Don't drink good wine when you can drink very good wine!
And most importantly, don’t forget to drink to
so that you always have money for what is better!

I wish you were always
Slightly drunk with happiness
And so that your wallet is there
Looks like a suitcase!

Everything is possible on your birthday -
Without any “no” or “but”:
Crocodile on a helicopter
With a kilo of popsicle
He will fly in and congratulate you loudly
He will sing on the harmonica:
“Happy Bezday, my good one!”
And he will give you a huge cake!

Our wishes are brief:
Be healthy, live in abundance.

Funny birthday greetings

We wish you happiness as pure as crystal,
Good luck to the greyhound, like a Roman rebel,
Good health, like an old oak tree,
To be as young as a baby tooth.

So that all good things come true,
To make a lot of money,
And so that instead of lords and servants
An old, faithful friend was always nearby!

Who's birthday is it here?
Put your ears up!
We will not pull for them -
Just sit and listen.
Be healthy, smart and happy,
Grab your luck by the tail.
Don't let her out of your hands -
Ask for a car, a dacha.
Fortune is a mischievous girl,
He can teach anyone a lesson.
We wish there was enough gunpowder
You can tame Fortune.

One a year - birthday - day
Whether you are in flight, on the fly:
Forget all the rubbish of everyday life,
Making money is a hustle!
Stop. Look up
Everything around is beautiful, like in a dream...
Smile at winter and summer,
Laugh in autumn, spring!
Take it easy, relax
Drive sadness out of the house with a broom...
On this day all your dreams
Let them turn into reality!
And at this best hour in life,
Those in love with you, don’t forget us!!!

Cool birthday greetings

On this day and this year,
Every moment
Let him laugh and sing
Have a nice birthday.
Let your friends not let you down
And fate will not wilt,
And invisible heavy fetters
It won't happen in life.
We wish with all our hearts:
Let everythnig will be alright!

We hasten to congratulate you on your birthday soon!
Today, expect gifts from your loved ones and friends!
Today be the brightest, be the happiest,
And enjoy life, don’t forget to laugh!
We love you very much, you are our dear friend!
It’s great happiness that we know each other!

Happy birthday
And according to the list of blessings we wish:
So that you get into the Duma!
To become a new Russian!
Outdid Gates Beale
Celebrated a dacha in the Maldives!
Paris Hilton to fall in love
And she fell at your feet!

Ridiculous birthday greetings to men

Let life be rich
And my head doesn't hurt in the morning.
I hope you don't forget this day
May your soul rejoice,
Let your body dance and tremble joyfully,
Let love flow like a river in your heart.
I wish you happiness and a sea of ​​success,
live peacefully, easily, without grief and haste.
To drown in love, but not to grieve.
Have a good marriage, always have fun.

Love the evil ones - they have less falsehood,
Than in hypocritical good-natured people

Happy birthday! Happy Birthday!
This day is coming now!
Cool, cool mood
Let it definitely happen!
To make life seem sweet
But not cloyingly disgusting
Delicious, delicious chocolate
I'll treat you, my love.
To make sweetness work
Every day I captivated you,
And my other concern
I never got tired.
So that there is a lot of jam,
So that guests are often
For something so sweet
Everyone loved him uncontrollably.

Many of us, on the eve of a birthday - ours or that of one of our friends or relatives - begin to worry: we need to give a gift of any kind, and we need to compose unusual birthday greetings. And I really don’t want the hackneyed scenario to be repeated: we sat down, congratulated, drank, ate, drank, danced...
Therefore, it is worth preparing several pranks and competitions that will enliven the atmosphere and make everyone laugh. You will love this birthday and will not forget it.

Crashed...

For this prank you will need a partner.
Carefully break the bottle or unnecessary glass. Place the fragments in a suitable box, don’t be lazy to wrap it beautiful paper and decorate with bows and other things.
Before presenting a gift, looking into the eyes of the birthday person, solemnly and modestly say:
- I wanted this expensive vase to decorate your home! - and take a couple of steps. Your partner trips you, you fall, glass breaks... Silent scene.

Merry mimance

Agree in advance with two friends who will have to explain their task to the participants. You suggest watching a funny mimance. You choose a guy and a girl, and your assistants take them to different rooms.
The guy's task: place a stool or chair in the room where the guests are and screw in an imaginary light bulb. Say that the girl will dissuade him, and he must - with the help of gestures - let her understand that this is necessary.
The girl's role: to dissuade the guy - again only with gestures - who was about to... hang himself.
You explain to the guests the essence of the fun.
The rest depends on the artistry of the participants. But it will be funny for everyone.

Eat a banana!

Such an action can only be carried out in your own, well-known company, where this somewhat ambiguous prank will be perceived adequately. There should be two condoms in your pocket. And it’s a good idea to give the participants small gifts as a consolation after the drawing.
So, a competition is announced for the girls: who can eat the banana the fastest? Explain that to make it more difficult, the girls will be blindfolded. Before blindfolding, assign someone to peel the bananas. But while the girls are blindfolded - intentionally awkward and slowly - your assistant quickly pulls condoms onto the unpeeled bananas - about two-thirds of the way.
Place the tip of a banana in each girl's fingers and give a signal. Usually the audience shows a storm of emotions - not to mention the emotions of the victims.

The main thing is packaging!

This giveaway is especially good if your gift is small size. Pack it in several bags, boxes various sizes, do not skimp on wrapping paper. Guests will have a lot of fun watching the change of emotions on the face of the birthday boy or girl!

Everything for you!

Such a prank will help you win the heart of a girl if you have recently met, or increase the assessment of your person in her eyes. But for this you must have many friends - and exact knowledge of the birthday girl’s day schedule..
The point is that within 2-3 days before her birthday, people approach her at work, at the university, in the subway and on the street strangers guys, hand over flowers (not necessarily bouquets, one is enough nice flower) and give compliments without asking for an acquaintance.
And on her birthday, you bring all your friends to the party to congratulate her with them. She will certainly appreciate your ingenuity.

Fishing

At the appropriate moment, you invite all men to participate in the game. Prepare your text in advance; it must be precise and commanding. Something like this:
- So, friends, we are standing on the seashore and casting fishing rods. But what is it? The water is rising! Take off your shoes! Wrap your pants so they don't get wet! Higher! More! !More! And now - our competition for the hairiest legs! The winner dances with the birthday girl! (The competition could be for the most beautiful socks, for example).

Carcasses!

Don't forget to prepare a few simple questions and one for which there is no answer. Place a box containing only 3-4 matches in your pocket. Fill the space under the matches with paper.
You suggest playing questions and answers. You take out the box, take out two matches, stick one into the box, hand the second one to the object and explain that if he does not know the answer to the question, he must light his own match and set fire to the one that sticks out of the box.
After 2-3 answers you ask tricky question, the object lights a match on the box - and you imperiously put this box in his hand, starting to hum “Happy Birthday to you...”.
There are two options: either he himself, frightened, will extinguish the box, or you shout in fear:
- Carcasses! It's about to burst into flames!

Would you like a shower?

The joke is not very humane, you shouldn’t put girls to the test - they spend so much time on their hair...
Be one of the first to visit, wash your hands in the bathroom, hang a note on the sink faucet: “Sorry, the faucet is not working, wash your hands above the bathtub.” And switch the regulator to the shower.

Entangled!

A joke for children, it was once actively used in holiday camps. But there will be a lot of emotions and laughter. The prank is good if several people sleep in the same room after the celebration.
It is better to use a thread that is not too strong to create a web. Unwinding the thread, we connect the sleeping people: the wrist of one with the elbow of another, the toe of a third, we return to the first... etc. We quietly persuade those who wake up to take part in the fun. Turn on the lights or music...

I bet I'll heat it?

When you are about to open a bottle of champagne, you start an argument with your guests:
- You bet that I can now drink exactly (can you name the verified amount) milliliters from this bottle in one sip?
Since this is impossible in principle, someone will definitely fall for an argument. Turn the bottle upside down, pour it into the recess from the second, open bottle - the argument is won!
For this draw, there must be at least two bottles of champagne on the table, and two people must open them, agree on this in advance. In addition, for accuracy, it is worth turning the bottle of champagne over in advance, pouring water into the well and measuring its amount by pouring it into a measuring glass.

Gentleman's Choice

We ask one of the guys to leave the room to prepare, as he is told, for an interesting competition. Two stools are quickly placed at some distance from each other, so that another one can fit between them. They are covered with a thick blanket, a blanket that must be stretched well, and two girls sit on stools. The impression should be as if they were sitting on the edges of the bench.
The guy is invited into the room and the task is explained: he must, after looking at the girls, choose the one he likes best and let her understand this, but at the same time, like a true gentleman, not offend the second one with his inattention.
He is given 20-30 seconds to think, after which he must complete his task. In the vast majority of cases, the guy sits down between the girls and... ends up on the floor. If he tries to complete his task while standing, the girl can push him to necessary action, for example, by gesturing to sit down.
In a more rigid version, a basin full of water is placed under an imaginary bench. But for reasons of humanity, it is better to use this option in the summer at the dacha.

Clap first!

In a warm company you are invited to remember your childhood and play. A small denomination bill is placed on a table or chair or stool; two players, at a signal from the game leader, must slap it: whoever is first gets the bill. The loser puts down the second bill.
After two or three bets, players are informed that the rules are becoming more complicated: they will clap blindfolded.
While a couple of guests are blindfolded, the third, instead of a banknote, places a large and very ripe tomato in the same place. On the count of three - clap! The spectators rejoice.

Sleight of hand and tongue

Find a reason to argue, and declare that for a bet, in just one minute, you will cut the buttons from the shirt of any of the guests - and sew them on. The trick is that you never say “I’ll sew it IN PLACE.”
For such a case, keep a good sewing ripper or at least a blade in your pocket, as well as a piece of fabric. Ask for or carry a long needle with strong thread and a solid knot at its end. And by the way, it’s worth practicing at home.
At the leader’s sign, quickly cut off the buttons, stick the needle into the fabric, string ALL the buttons onto it in a column, pass it through the second hole, bring the needle to the wrong side of the fabric and quickly fasten it. You can also sew it on the edge of the victim’s shirt.
If the victim begins to protest, remind him that you didn’t say anything - sew him “in place.”

Happy Birthday,
Put the kettle on gas quickly.
I'm bringing you cookies
Let's celebrate now.
There will be a lot of jokes, laughter,
Pour tea into mugs.
I'm almost there
Meet me in five minutes!

I'm grateful to myself
For my gift to you.
And I’ll tell everyone without hiding,
My gift is ME!

A trailer of health, a boat of luck,
They are in a hurry at this moment for your birthday.
And then the planes fly with luck,
Get ready to start unloading your work!

On your birthday, your holiday,
Let's dive headfirst!
Congratulations, congratulations,
We wish you happiness!
Let your health bubble,
The mood is not moping,
Positivity flows like a river,
The heart laughs joyfully!

My friend, I wish you cool parties
Merry beautiful Ol, Mash and Irinok
Fun winter, awesome summer
I wish to be fashionably and stylishly dressed
Happy tickets always and everywhere
And for friends to help out in trouble!

So be healthy!
Live richly
So much will allow
Your salary!
And if the salary
He won't let you live -
Well, don't live
No one is being forced!

We wish you to get drunk on this day,
Get lost in your apartment!
Friends and family are unrecognizable
And you can't find your bed!

Congratulations! Congratulations!
Birthdays come once a year.
As always, I wish you EVERYTHING!
Wait, I'll come with a gift!

Happy birthday
And with all our hearts we wish:
To be healthy in Siberian style,
Live long in Caucasian style
It's the gypsy way to be cheerful
And drink vodka in Russian!

You were born today
Accept gifts
From friends and family,
From people dear to you.
Don't think badly
Something in my throat is dry -
We want to drink some wine
For birth to the bottom!

I wish you reliable friends and health
After all, this is what we sometimes lack
And you can buy everything else with money
Which I wish for you too!

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To keep you healthy
And she grew beautiful
To make a pood bale of happiness
You found it for yourself.
And a bag of laughter
And a kilogram of smiles.
For the pleasure of everyone I know
Smile here and there!
And let it be with your smile
The sun is rising in the sky,
And the soul is a magic violin
You always sing!

Sitting down at the table for a birthday,
Put pickles and smoked meats,
Herring, vodka, entrecote,
Sausage, lard and compote,

Yes! Don't forget the cake for tea.
And you can’t live without sweets.
And now I wish you
May there be friends at the table!

Birthday! Really!
Has it been a year since last year?
After all, that's all the fun
I didn't leave!

I didn't have time to wash my face
I didn't have time to shave!
I didn’t really have time to get dressed!
Finish a bunch of different things!

I didn’t have time to buy a gift,
Arrive at the feast on time!
Accept for who I am,
I will drink, I will eat.

I'm really really sorry -
I... didn't buy a gift.
I was in such a hurry, I was flying so much,
What... didn't even have time to do that.

Let me just hug you
And kiss me from the bottom of my heart.

I wish you immodest profits,
The Swiss bank account is huge,
A large dacha outside the city,
Good health to boot,
Great victories in amorous affairs,
Canaries and Cote d'Azur,
All kinds of success in life,
And most importantly - reliable friends!
Happy birthday!

I wish you red girls,
To drive the blood through your veins,
Various wines, vodkas and sherbets,
What an empty stomach of love!

And let everyone understand the joke,
I won’t make eyes here,
Good luck in life awaits you!

I personally wish with all my heart,
So that, like a domestic cat,
You've always had a great time
Both at work and at home!

Today is your birthday,
This means you need to have a blast!
After all, you will have a whole year,
To have time to recover a little!

Congratulations! I wish you
Male strength and female attention,
Develop the business to a global scale,
Cold beer in warm company.
Can I say it again female attention…
Bourgeois money in a leather wallet,
Meet less frostbitten people in life,
Cool car and green light,
Our enemies will be soaked in the toilet,
And, accordingly, peace throughout the world!

I wish you red girls,
To drive the blood through your veins,
Various wines, vodkas and sorbets,
What an empty stomach of love!
Let the fun of a fairy tale splash,
And let everyone understand the joke,
I won’t make eyes here,
Good luck in life awaits you!

I wish you a life of long days
So that you forget about doctors
So that it is deep, so that it is wide
And a wallet full of money!

Happy Birthday
And I wish in life that
All the problems and worries
They were like a microbe!
And more laughter in life,
To be the size of an elephant
There were joys, successes,
And know love to the fullest!

Let there be a birthday
Cheerful, cheerful, drunk
Let them sound throughout the area
Friends laughing and glasses clinking
Let everything go with a bang!
And it will be easy in the morning!

I wish you great health,
So that your chest does not hang like a rag.
And cunnilingus once a week,
Someone would do it for you.
And early in the morning at dawn,
When you don't have the strength to wake up,
Whatever the alarm clock, damn it,
And wild sex woke you up.

Health, happiness, money, buddy,
We wish! May your soul be full!
And remember: you can't argue with this,
Whatever the buddies want.

My friend, I wish you on your birthday
Luck basket and barrel of luck
I want female attention
Watching hockey and football with friends
Money so that there is no shortage of it
And also keep your health in order!

What to wish a man on his birthday?
More useful business meetings,
And life is sweeter than the best jam,
And not to know sexual diseases...
To have more love in life,
Preferably several times a day!
So that all women love you
And they warmed the soul and the bed!

I'll take you away for a minute,
I'll ask a tricky question,
I see, there's no time for jokes at all,
I seriously congratulate you!

I wish for your birthday,
Well, just a lot of pleasure!
Stacks, glasses, mugs with beer
And cool girlfriends
Dancing until you drop!
What, do you need anything else?

What is more important to you:
Be richer or smarter?
On your birthday I wish you in one fell swoop
Become a smart oligarch!
To keep the money flowing
And the brains worked.
Well, who will I be?
Your first deputy!

There are different things in life
Either you fall or you take off!
And if it turns out to be bad
Be strong! Hold on! Do not lose hope!

I wish everyone to love, fall in love,
Get married, have sex.
Then be fruitful, multiply,
And also have sex.
Dedicate yourself to work with ardor,
And then have sex.
Enjoy the blessings of life
And have sex zealously.
Wait for everything I dreamed of,
But still have sex.
And don’t give up on age! —
Getting old, but having sex!
...It’s probably time to wrap things up:
They invited me to have sex.

Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Aging Day.
Cannabis is not easy on the lungs,
Here's some jam for you.

Let's put jokes aside
It's time for great things!
Equal share for birthday
Spill the bottle!

I want a key to a new car
A hefty wad of money
Cold beer in a glass
And so that friends don’t forget!

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Funny birthday greetings to a woman

What is a birthday?
Cake, candles, congratulations!
The guests are drunk at the end
Everyone with lipstick on their face!

Oh, what a pity, today I
I can't be with you
But I’ll congratulate you via SMS,
Be beautiful and lovely!

Funny happy birthday poem

On such a day they usually wish,
The dark fog in life will melt away,
So that money falls from the sky,
Travel to all countries of the world,
Never fool yourself with trifles,
To make dreams come true
So that everything goes well in the most personal,
Always in excellent health
So that only love lives in the soul,
And everyone admired only you!

Funny birthday greetings for a man

I give you this poem,
After all, today is your birthday
I know I talk a lot
But I can’t do this day without congratulations.

I wish in life bright days more
Yes, more is better!
So that the count's castle is somewhere in Poland,
So that the sun and sea in December.

Let your home be filled with friends,
And forget about problems altogether, sir
Let the main problem in life be
It's better to park a yacht here.

Funny birthday greetings in prose

I wish that you were always young and handsome, that you were a bit of a spendthrift and a fool, that you were both a playboy and a guy, and, as always, generous and broad-minded.

Happy Birthday greetings funny in verse

Let your pockets never be empty.
Your cherished plans will become a reality.
Don’t let go of the steering wheel of your destiny,
Sing and fly more often for joy,
Always slow down for a happy occasion
Health and prosperity to you
In luck, like swimming in the sea,
And, like a dolphin, catch
Cheerful sparkles of happiness,
Ringing splashes of dreams!
Let the magical rainbows burn,
And the breeze of luck blows!
Always smile and be happy
Always have fun!!
Happy birthday!!!

Funny Happy Birthday greeting in verse

On your birthday wish
I want fun
Everything you want to achieve
Just not a hangover.

Let adversity run away
Like a football player
And they will bring gifts
As for senior officials!

If you want dreams
Completed on time
Read more often and with a smile
This poem!

Funny birthday poem greetings

We wish you health, a cheerful gait,
More herring, port wine and vodka,
And life and youth in a warm heart,
And we want a sultry chick to boot.

Original funny birthday greetings

Congratulations! I wish you
Male strength and female attention,
Develop the business to a global scale,
Cold beer in warm company.
Can we talk about female attention again...
Bourgeois money in a leather wallet,

Meet less frostbitten people in life,
Cool car and green light,
(For beer, I forgot, more salty),
Our enemies will be soaked in the toilet,
And, accordingly, peace throughout the world!

A short funny birthday greeting

I just want to wish you
It's fun to celebrate a birthday!
So that guests don't overdo it
And they didn’t take the gifts back!

They didn’t break the dishes in the sideboard...
Let the snacks last for a long time!
Smile, at least for the sake of decency,
Let joy touch your face!

Funny birthday greeting to the birthday boy

May you have so much health
how much mom wishes for you! Let you
there will be as much power as you wish
wife! And when you stay late in the evening
late, let what I thought happen
your wife, but not what your mother thought!

Funny Happy Birthday Greetings

I'm bringing it for your birthday
Sausage from the store,
For vodka, delicious cucumbers,
And delicious cabbage rolls,
Mineral waters for treatment,
Sweet cookies for tea.
There are many words for wishes,
Gifts, money and love,
Health, happiness and flowers,
And so as not to be lonely,
Catch my cool poem!

Cool funny birthday greetings from a friend

If I were a crocodile
And he could sing at least a little,
I would come to you
For a birthday with an accordion -
I would sing about puddles now...
It's a pity there is no such skill!
And since I’m not good at songs,
Let me just say: happy birthday!

Funny birthday greetings to a friend

I wish you great health,
So that your chest does not hang like a rag.
And k.nnilingus once a week,
Someone would do it for you.

And early in the morning at dawn,
When you don't have the strength to wake up,
Whatever the alarm clock, damn it,
And the wild s.c. woke you up.