Raising children's obedience. consultation on the topic

Natalia Lenova
Consultation for parents “Training obedience in children”

Consultation for parents.

Raising obedience in children.

Obedience– this is the first and very important step in discipline, because without the ability to obey, no discipline is possible. Obedience can begin to be cultivated from that time how the child will begin to understand the demands of others.

Eat parents. Those who believe that a person is characterized by independence and initiative, and not by the willingness to obey someone else’s will. Yes, independence and initiative are necessary, but only when they are aimed at achieving reasonable goals. Both from the child’s point of view and from the point of view of others. The initiative must be regulated by the norms of public morality. And if a child knows how to listen to the opinions of adults and fulfill their requirements, then these norms are successfully absorbed. Obedience does not contradict either education of will. Willpower lies in being able to subordinate your desires to certain requirements.

A child cannot understand many moral principles, and if in his behavior he does not find support in the firm will of his elders, he grows up to be a willful person.

Outstanding Soviet teacher A. S. Makarenko wrote: “A child at a young age must obey parents, because if he doesn't obedient now, then he will completely lose obedience at 6-8 years old». Obedient It is easier to teach a child good deeds that are accessible to his age, to instill in him what is good. What is bad is to develop habits of moral behavior in him.

But also blind we don't need obedience. We must see that the child recognizes the fairness of the demands placed on him and willingly fulfills them.

Raising obedience requires parents to calmness and patience.

At education of obedience take into account the individual characteristics of the child, his interests, requests, desires, respect his activities and the results of these activities, listen carefully to questions and skillfully answer them. N. K. Krupskaya spoke: “The most important thing is not to look at the child as your living property, with which you can do whatever you want, not to look at the child as a slave, a burden or a toy.

We must learn to look at a child as a person, albeit still weak, in need of help, protection... but still a person, moreover, a person of the future.”

Love and respect must be combined with demands towards him. Note that a negative reaction is often caused by the unbearable demands of adults. And to avoid this, you need to demand from the child only what is suitable for him. force: keep toys in order, neatly fold your things, etc.

Success obedience education presupposes the unity of requirements on the part of all family members. Without unity of demands, it is impossible to achieve respect for elders and faith in their authority.

In Group educators always united in their demands, especially to those who naughty. You can explain it very well to a child much: for example, why you shouldn’t make noise when someone is resting, talk rudely to elders, or offend children. Conversations with a child help to form a conscious attitude towards his behavior.

Sometimes obedient the child does not do what you demanded, it depends on how you demanded it, whether it was an order or a tone of irritation. He thinks that you don't love him and he is experiencing alienation.

It is unacceptable to be demanding by begging and also to avoid giving orders as much as possible.

Children, as a rule, express many desires, and this manifests their desire for independence and activity. Good wishes should be encouraged. These are desires such as helping mom clean the apartment or doing something nice. But children There are many desires that for various reasons are impossible to fulfill. When prohibiting such desires, we must be firm, persistent and not give in to pity - the child must learn the word "it is forbidden".

But the more we prohibit, the more the child wants to resist us. Sometimes it is necessary to abandon the use of simple prohibitions. Sometimes it is even useful for a child to resolve what he is on. insists: for example, put on a new woolen suit in hot weather, let him be convinced from his own experience that his desires are unreasonable. This method allows you to develop trust in the advice of your elders and figure out for yourself what will come of your plans.

Children are by nature active and active. Show your child how matchboxes can be used to make a useful thing as a gift for someone and you you will pleasantly surprised what you have obedient child.

Life experience children are still small, they don’t know much, they don’t know how, so they tend to seek support from parents. It is very important not to ignore positive actions children. But it's not enough to tell a child "Well done", you need to evaluate specific actions (what's good and what's bad).

Under no circumstances should you do this obedience gifts. Gifts are given for holidays, birthdays. When choosing incentive measures, the age of the child must be taken into account. You should not praise your child for putting away his toys, but you should praise him for helping someone.

In many families, the measure of influence on behavior children is punishment.

It should always come from the motive of the action, and not from its results. Only immoral people can be grounds for punishment. actions: sloppy attitude towards things, rudeness with elders... punishments should not be frequent, because the child gets used to them and becomes indifferent to the impact parents. Physical punishment is absolutely unacceptable. Children stop respecting parents, they begin to be afraid of them.

What are you like you will use methods and techniques education, largely depends on you, but in all cases it is necessary to take into account the age and individual characteristics of the child. It is also important to remember that no means of pedagogical influence will play a positive role if you do not will confirm that What do you require from your child?

Even the calmest children sometimes surprise their parents with changes in their mood. At one point, they can turn from cute angels into nasty little devils. When they are in this guise, it seems to you that it is impossible to get obedience from them. But don’t give up, we have not just one, but 10 ways for you to achieve obedience!

How to get a child to obey?

Method No. 1 Behavior rules. The child hears the word “no” a hundred times a day, but no one has ever explained to him why. Over time, it seems to him that this is just a whim of his parents, and when they are not around, everything is allowed. The main thing is not to get caught. Determine 10 basic rules of child behavior. Explain why this cannot be done and make sure he understands why. Now your every “no” will have an impact on the child. Method number 2 Remind me. Already from the age of ten months, a child can understand what his parents want from him and what he must do. But a child’s memory is so short-lived, and his will is so weak, that he simply cannot resist doing the forbidden. A preschool child needs to be constantly reminded of what he can and cannot do. Method number 3
Explain. It’s easier to brush your child off by saying, “Don’t touch the stove.” But as soon as you turn away, he will definitely do it. It will be more effective if you explain why, in fact, this cannot be done. Tell your child that the stove is hot and he could get burned and be in a lot of pain. Method number 4 Hardness. If the child doesn't listen, you scold him, and then you feel sorry for him. Now you are running to calm him down and ask for forgiveness. Or at first she didn’t allow something, and when he threw a tantrum, she gave up. Rest assured, next time he will be capricious until he gets his way again. Children sense our doubts and hesitations very well. Therefore, when refusing, do not smile or look condescendingly at the baby. He will read in your gaze: “I would really like to allow it, but now I’m telling you no.” Method number 5
Look into the eyes. The kid flies into the house without taking off his shoes, and you shout after him: “Take off your shoes!” And in response he pretends that he didn’t hear at all. Or I heard it, but forgot it very quickly. When you forbid him something, sit next to him and look into his eyes. Make sure he listens and understands, and then voice your request. This will sharpen his attention and help him remember what is required of him. Method number 6 It is suitable for children over two years old. When a child gets completely angry and becomes uncontrollable, do not rush to punish him. Give him the opportunity to stop on his own. Warn that you will count to ten: if he does not stop, you will punish him. Method number 7
Time-out. It’s not for nothing that our grandmothers used to put their children in a corner. And this simple punishment became torment for our parents. And all because they were left alone, without toys and entertainment. And this is very boring. Place your child on a chair in the corner. Explain to your child that this is a necessary measure, so he can calm down and behave normally again. This is how you teach your child to control his emotions and behavior. Method number 8 The right to choose. A child should not feel like a doll who mindlessly does what he is told. This makes him bored and he begins to act up. When going to kindergarten, ask your child what he wants to wear. It is important to give him two options from which he can independently choose. Question: “What do you want to wear today?” will lead to your child demanding a summer dress in winter and throwing a tantrum if it remains in the closet. Method number 9
Daily regime. It is the regime that will make your life easier and your child calmer. He will remember what to do and when to do it. Then going to bed will not cause a persistent reluctance to quit the game. Method number 10 Praise. Praise your child for doing the right thing, for trying to behave well. Then he will want to see your joy again and again, and for this he will want to be obedient.

No matter how difficult it may be to raise a child, be patient and consistent. You will succeed!

Outstanding Soviet teacher A.S. Makarenko wrote: “A child in middle age must obey his parents, because if he does not listen now, he will completely lose obedience at 6-8 years old.” It is easier to teach an obedient child good deeds that are appropriate for his age, to instill in him what is good and what is bad, and to develop habits of moral behavior in him.

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Raising obedience in children.

Today I would like to talk about how to instill obedience in children, since it is in middle age that children cause more trouble to their parents with their disobedience. Obedience is the first and very important step in discipline, because... Without the ability to obey, no discipline is possible. There are some parents who believe that a person is characterized by independence and initiative, and not by a blind willingness to obey someone else’s will. Of course, independence and initiative are necessary, but a child at this age does not yet have the understanding of many moral principles, therefore, if in his behavior he does not find support in the firm will of his elders, he grows up to be a willful person. Outstanding Soviet teacher A.S. Makarenko wrote: “A child in middle age must obey his parents, because if he does not listen now, he will completely lose obedience at 6-8 years old.” It is easier to teach an obedient child good deeds that are appropriate for his age, to instill in him what is good and what is bad, and to develop habits of moral behavior in him.

Raising obedience requires from you, dear parents, first of all, calmness and patience. More than anywhere else, excitement, nervous and impatient behavior can cause harm here.

You cannot constantly reproach your child. Not every prank leads to a child becoming bad. To a child, his pranks sometimes seem innocent, and you need to be able to look at them through the eyes of a child. When he actually commits a crime, be strict. But don't lose your composure. And yet, it is very important to take into account the individual characteristics of the child, his interests, needs, desires, to respect his activities and their results, to listen carefully to his questions, to believe in the child’s capabilities, to trust him. Love and respect for the child must be skillfully combined with exactingness towards him. Experience shows that children only easily obey the demands of their elders if they are not excited and if they are in a good mood. We must also not forget that a child’s negative reaction is often caused by the unbearable demands of adults. And to avoid this, demand from the child what he can do for sure: put away his toys, neatly put things away, etc. Successful upbringing presupposes the unity of demands on the part of all family members. And if the mother makes demands on the child, and the father exempts the son (daughter) from fulfilling them, or vice versa, the child will do as he wants. That is why the requirements for children should be uniform. If the child constantly feels this unity, then he will develop a stable habit of obedience. It is very important to explain to the child why he will fulfill these requirements. You can explain a lot to a child: for example, why you shouldn’t make noise when someone is resting, talk rudely to elders, offend children, etc. Sometimes there are cases where even an obedient child does not always fulfill your demands. This is due to various reasons. For example, children react not to what you demanded, but to how you demanded it. The child refuses to comply with a requirement when it is presented to him in the tone of an order or with irritation. A raised tone often causes dissatisfaction and resistance in the child. At this time it seems to him that you do not love him, and he experiences alienation. Therefore, if you want your children to carry out your instructions, address them calmly, evenly, and sometimes in an affectionate tone. It must be remembered that in each specific case the tone must correspond to the situation, the nature of the action and take into account the individual characteristics of the child. If you do not ensure that your demands are met, children will become accustomed to being dishonest towards them. The child should be controlled delicately, so that he does not think that they do not trust him, do not believe in his strength. The most important thing is to ensure that the child does not accumulate experience of disobedience, so that he does not look at your order as something optional. Avoid orders that pre-establish childish disobedience: “How many times do I have to tell you! Until you say it a hundred times, he will never listen!” The child’s good desire to finish the job he has started, to help his mother with cleaning the apartment, to do something nice for his grandmother, etc. – should be fully supported and encouraged. It is necessary to clearly define what children can and cannot do. It is necessary to ban only what really deserves condemnation and at the same time explain the reasons for the ban. Then the prohibition will become more convincing, and the child will gradually develop the ability to restrain his desires. But sometimes the temptation to do something forbidden is so strong that the child is unable to resist it. In this case, it is best to try to distract the baby: remind him that he wanted to tell you about something, remember some interesting incident, offer to do something together. When no distractions help and the child continues to insist on his own, you need to be patient and not react to whims. The child will see that his tears are being ignored and will gradually calm down. A child’s obedience is formed through activity, through the process of doing good deeds. By participating in maintaining cleanliness and comfort, the child learns to take care of his parents, brothers and sisters. Children’s life experience is not yet significant, they don’t know and can’t do much, so they tend to seek support from their parents. It is very important not to ignore the positive actions of children. Approval and praise will lift your spirits and strengthen your self-confidence. It is not enough to say “well done” or “good”: you need to evaluate specific actions, words, note what is good and what is bad.

Children will listen to you if they feel that you are listening to them. We often wonder why children don’t listen to us, although we ourselves show them the exact opposite, forgetting what they tell us and brushing aside their conversations when we are tired or busy. Listen carefully to your children to understand their world or to be able to understand the motives behind the behavior they exhibit.

I think the tips and recommendations will help you cultivate obedience in your children. It is important to remember that no means of pedagogical influence will play a positive role if you do not confirm with your own behavior what you require from the child.

Good luck to you in raising your children!

Or let him develop character, achieving his own? And if you give in sometimes, won’t he then manipulate his parents, saying, “They allowed it once, they will allow it a second time?” » .

When working with children, you often have to observe how a child who was obedient during the day, when his parents appear, suddenly becomes spoiled, and the mother or father submits to his whims. Like a child who has been absent from kindergarten for some time, it is difficult for him to regain his previous obedience skills. What's the matter? If at home his demands were fulfilled, then here he is faced with the need to obey the established order for everyone. In this article we will try to answer the question: where is the golden mean of obedience?

The issue of education worries all parents who want to see their children happy.

From preschool age, the formation and development of the child’s future character, abilities and skills begins. It is during this difficult period that personality begins to form. Raising children of preschool age implies that both parents and educators are obliged to teach him, first of all, to think independently, draw conclusions, and listen to other people.

But a child is a child, and he cannot always be obedient. What does “naughty child” mean? This is the one who does not fulfill the requests, demands of an adult, does not obey. But this disobedience can be due to completely different reasons: promiscuity, inconsistency, inconsistency of the demands of the adults themselves, their ignorance of the age and individual characteristics of the child, his interests and desires.

The requirements must be justified and specific: play quietly because the parents are resting; don’t throw a ball in the room, you might break something; put toys away in a certain place.

Voluntary obedience can be achieved if parents adhere to the following principles:

• Reasonable love and care for children. A child very early begins to grasp the attitude of adults towards him. When he understands that all the demands on him, no matter how unpleasant they may be, will ultimately serve for his own well-being, then he will obey you more willingly.
• Genuine respect for the child. We must remember that our children are not objects, but living people who deserve respect.
• Patience. Often our children unintentionally do things that irritate us, so parents must control their negative emotions.
• Soft calm speech. A calm manner of conversation helps to avoid negative emotions, calms you down and more likely leads to obedience. It creates a calm atmosphere and instills confidence in children.
• Moderate requirements for children. Demands must be carefully thought out and based on fairness and deep trust. The main rule in this situation: if a certain behavior of your child is typical only for his age and is not dangerous, then you should not set yourself the indispensable goal of correcting him.
• Decisiveness and firmness in achieving your requirements. Be firm and seek the child's obedience. If you give instructions, you must insist that he follow them.
• Give a positive answer more often than a negative answer. You should make it a rule to give your child what he asks for, if his request is reasonable, and also use the word “no” sparingly.

You can’t punish him, it’s better to take him by the hand, take him somewhere aside, sit him down and just sit there. In a few minutes, he will already forget what he was doing before and calmly go about doing something. Parents need to be able to react correctly to children’s bad behavior - they cannot be too harsh, but they cannot be too soft either. First you need to make a remark, try to distract from the bad deed. It is important to ensure that the child realizes his guilt and does not do it again.