Seven fatal mistakes women make at the beginning of a relationship. Common mistakes in the initial stages of a relationship Showing interest in a man who is indifferent to you

A girl who loves summer sleeps with guys
whose names end in “yul”, “gul”, “gust”.
"DALS", KVN.

The desire to create harmonious relationships makes people search and learn. At the beginning of any relationship, both men and women doubt, dream, expect, and are disappointed. They are tormented by many questions about their own actions and the actions of their partner. But simple knowledge of the stages of relationship development will allow you to be confident and ready to build harmonious relationships. This article will help those who constantly have bad relationships with the opposite sex, as well as those whose relationships are at an early stage of development. The article is based on ancient Vedic knowledge passed down from generation to generation.

There are 5 stages of rapprochement between a man and a woman. They are needed so that the adjustment of harmony between lovers occurs gradually and so that they both go through these steps at the same time. If at the initial stage one of the steps is missed, then in order for the relationship to develop, it is necessary to go back and go through it again.

§1. Attraction. The first stage of relationship development

A man is attracted to a woman's appearance, a woman is attracted to a man's intellect. Feeling sympathy for a certain woman, a man continues to feel the same physical attraction to other women too. The physical attractiveness of a woman gives a man energy, including the energy to continue a relationship with a woman. Therefore, the idea instilled in many girls that “all men need the same thing” is incorrect. A man needs the energy that a female body that is attractive to him gives him to start building a serious relationship. To criticize a man’s physical attraction means to take away this energy and the possibility of further initiative from him.

For a woman, a man's appearance is not so significant. She is more attracted to intelligence, reason and responsibility. This is a feature of the woman’s psyche. If a woman says that she “fell in love at first sight,” this means that she made up everything about the man and assigned him all the qualities that would suit her. Lacking time to get to know him well, the woman turned on her imagination. This is the biggest mistake if she, without going through all the stages of communication, is sure that she has met her person. Even if this is actually true, the woman will later be tormented by doubts and anxiety due to the fact that everything turned out too simple. This level of relationship can be compared to a foundation - if you miss it, you won’t be able to build a stable house.

§2. Uncertainty. The second stage of relationship development

This stage must necessarily exist. Stage of doubt and patience. At this stage, it is common for a man to doubt and distance himself from a woman. This is absolutely normal. He determines for himself his attitude towards a woman. If a woman reacts adequately and shows patience, then everything will go smoothly. The further a man moves away from a woman, the faster he will be attracted to her again. The main thing for a woman is not to be persistent and not to pester you with the question “How do you feel about me?” He doesn't know it himself. If a man is not allowed to experience this stage now, then even if the relationship results in marriage, he may experience this stage in marriage. It will be much more difficult for a woman to go through this, because she thinks that everything is already clear. But this is clear to her, not to him. Therefore, a woman needs to let go of the situation and the man if he needs it. In the end, everything will work out for the best for them.

§3. The desire to be the only one. The third stage of relationship development

This desire arises in both: both the man and the woman. If a man managed to get through the stage of uncertainty, then at this stage he is already sure that he always wants to be with this woman. The main thing for a woman is to react correctly. Each man can behave differently in the stage of uncertainty: continue courtship or disappear for weeks. A wise woman will not be offended and push away a man if he suddenly shows up after a long period of uncertainty. Now she can be sure of his feelings and feel like the only one for him.

§4. Soulful intimacy. The fourth stage of relationship development

Oh, a very interesting stage. It involves opening yourself to your partner more deeply on a spiritual level. Both feel that they can do this calmly. This is a higher degree of trust. Here's an interesting analogy that fits. You allow guests into your home. It is customary to receive guests in the living room, so shortly before their arrival you remove all unnecessary things from the bedroom and close the door. But if guests unexpectedly ask you to show them the apartment, you will be embarrassed to let them into the bedroom, because you are not ready to show them your hidden things :) But at the stage of spiritual intimacy, you are already ready to “show your man the whole apartment,” even if Not all things lie neatly in it.

A common mistake (mostly women make it) is to try to move to this stage before the first three. At the previous stages it is very important to show your best side. And the desire to show all your shortcomings before your advantages will be honest, but not effective for the relationship. And it often leads to disappointment. Everything has its time. And there is a big difference in the perception of your shortcomings at the second and third stages, and when a person already knows everything good about you. First of all, he will perceive the advantages, and the disadvantages will not be so significant for him. Maintain consistency and only at the stage of spiritual intimacy can you allow yourself to be yourself with the best results in a relationship.

As soon as the prospect of a new relationship appears before us, we are enveloped in new hopes and feelings. With age, such inspiration becomes more difficult to feel, especially when compared with what I felt during my first love. All this is explained not only by the person’s accumulated experience, which is not always positive, but also by his doubts regarding the choice of a favorable moment to start a relationship.

Is it necessary to start a relationship, and when is the best time to do it? It is very difficult to answer this question, because each case is special in its own way, that is, how many people, so many destinies. First of all, you need to ask yourself this question before becoming part of your partner, because a relationship, in essence, is a single substance in which a woman and a man merge. From these relationships they draw their inspiration and develop them further.

At the initial stage, you need to find out for yourself whether there is an internal need for a relationship, or whether you only need simple communication that does not oblige you to anything. It is not uncommon for people to enter into relationships driven not by sublime feelings, but by the need for care and warmth, the desire to start a family, have children, or other calculations. And in some cases, people enter into relationships for no reason at all, just so that they don’t get bored, because they can’t do anything else.

The main problem is choosing the right time to start a relationship. Often people take this issue too seriously, exhausting themselves with reflection and introspection. As a result, they only get confused in their own prejudices and the rules established by someone unknown.

It doesn’t matter how long ago the previous relationship ended, because in essence it is a convention, which at the same time prevents you from further building your personal life.

The main thing is the period of time during which both partners realized attraction, attraction and desire to be together. It is not wise to start your relationship before this moment, hoping for an opportunity, nor to delay it, as if not wanting to rush things. In both cases, everything resembles the situation with a fruit, which is just as stupid to pick unripe as when it withers and loses its taste, that is, the moment must be timely - this is the law of nature.

A person, starting a new relationship, believes that the past no longer matters, that is, it is forgotten. We hope that we have completely gotten rid of the past, but over time it begins to manifest itself even in small things. In this case, you need to show wisdom in the relationship, that is, treat your partner’s past with understanding and without unnecessary fanaticism.

Naturally, before you, this person had another life, filled with feelings, hopes and emotions, but these hopes were not destined to come true, which left traces in the person’s soul in the form of fears and restrictions - this is normal. All this obliges you to be more patient so that such traces of past relationships are gradually neutralized.

It is not uncommon for such manifestations of the past to be interpreted by a partner as undiminished feelings towards a former partner or a lack of desire to completely immerse oneself in a new relationship. Sometimes the reason for such judgments is a simple misunderstanding of the fact that you are not the center of the universe for your partner, that is, he has his own life in which you were not always present (and maybe you will not always be present).

In a situation where past relationships were pleasant and easy, that is, the partner perceives them in bright colors, this can become a source of jealousy. The desire to recreate a past relationship with a new partner in order to relive everything again will manifest itself in memories, stories about old times and a subconscious desire to create similar situations.

A person compares his new partner with the one before him, which is quite natural, because we are all looking for the best. If this relationship is really dear to you, you need to patiently prove to your partner that your relationship can become even more intense and vibrant.

A classic misconception is to find in your partner those qualities that were inherent in your former partner, the one whom you were unable to keep near you. Such a desire manifests itself in attempts to find in a new partner something similar in appearance, manners, habits and behavior.

The situation is even worse if you are still trying to re-educate your partner and “fit” him into the image from a past relationship. You should not try to train your partner and allow him to do the same. It is worth remembering that a new relationship means new desires, habits and, naturally, a new image of a partner. It is better to push the desires of your ego into the background, then you can look at things more objectively.

The significance of any relationship is measured not by the amount of time spent on it, but by the saturation of a given period of time with events and vivid emotions that the partners experienced together. It happens that people spend several years together, and after that they have nothing to remember. You can understand that this is your companion for the rest of your life after a month of dating.

At the beginning of a relationship, you should initially avoid talking about the negative past. By conducting such conversations, a person loses part of his positive energy and even sexuality. Such stories affect the image your partner paints of you. Naturally, this does not mean that you need to hide your downfalls, as well as your successes, from your new partner. At the initial stage, when your partner is just forming an idea about you, it is better not to stutter about failures, but to focus more on successes.

It is not permissible to meddle in the life and soul of your partner, to delve there. Relationships should bring people joy and develop harmoniously. Partners should draw from them what they need at a given moment in time. A mutual feeling of peace, moral satisfaction and the absence of tension between partners can strengthen relationships. Shared hobbies, various types of communication and sex are also important, but still the main goal of any relationship is spiritual satisfaction.

It is not recommended to insist on meeting with a person if you feel a certain alienation on his part. You should not try to impose your company on your partner, and this is natural for the initial stage of a relationship. A person should simply have the opportunity to be in your company if he so desires.

From time to time, partners need to take a break from each other - this helps them better understand their inner needs and sort out their feelings, and so on. Classically, temporary alienation of partners is interpreted as a negative sign that the relationship has failed, but in reality this is not the case. Such a pause will help you understand whether this relationship is the fruit of passion, despair, disappointment or fleeting infatuation, or more sublime needs. A period of such calm is the best time for such an analysis.

They say that jealousy in small doses only stimulates relationships, but if a person is jealous of the past, then this already has a negative effect. You can get rid of jealousy if you analyze your behavior.

You need to pay attention to how often your former partner appears in conversations, even in a veiled form. If your former partner is constantly present in your head, it means that you are not yet mature for a new relationship.

It is also worth considering how you demonstrate your attitude towards your new partner, that is, your partner must be sure that he is important to you, even if he was not the first in your life. He must realize that he is your real self.

The manifestation of jealousy on your part is a reason to think, because this is a unique form of uncertainty and mistrust. By showing distrust, you doubt the sincerity of your partner, and by succumbing to self-doubt, you begin to be jealous, because you assume the possibility of loss. In this case, it is much wiser to work on yourself. You need to understand that being jealous of your ex-partners is stupid. This is already a definite manifesto of possessiveness, which is a serious enemy of relationships, especially new ones.

Regardless of how jealousy manifests itself, it does not bring any benefit, because it is aimed at limiting the freedom of your partner. The desire to reveal his “secrets”, to find out everything about him, essentially contradicts his legal right to personal space. Intrusion into this area can be regarded as a manifestation of disrespect. Typically, such jealousy of the past is a person’s subconscious desire to become more significant in the eyes of a partner, in comparison with his former partners.

It is very difficult to become the long-awaited and only love for your partner in a couple of days. All this requires the ability to correctly express yourself in front of him, that is, to become his friend, ready to support him in various situations, to become his sexual half, to be able to predict his desires before they are expressed. At the same time, you should always remain an interesting person to other members of the opposite sex, regardless of whether you are single or in a relationship.

We all try to find sublime and free relationships, but the achievement of the latter lies in the ability to build them, because the ability to feel and understand your partner is a kind of art. Good luck in your relationship!

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So, you have started a new relationship, and with it - so many daring hopes, crazy passions, and your heart skips a beat again, and again, just as you once wanted to be close to your loved one always and everywhere! This is how a young girl feels. Time passes, she grows up, and it becomes more and more difficult to start a new romance - the burden of negative experience in past relationships takes its toll, you are tormented by doubts about the correctness of choosing a new contender for your heart, and that exciting delight of happiness that was before disappears. But you still want a harmonious relationship! But how to behave at the beginning of a relationship?

To prevent your new romance from disappointing you again and turning out to be fleeting, it is worth developing tactics at the very beginning of your relationship.

What's your new hobby?

First of all, honestly find out for yourself what you expect from a new relationship. Do you want your relationship to immediately develop as a love relationship, or do you just want to chat first?

Often, plunging headlong into a new acquaintance with a man, a woman does not experience any feelings for him, hoping that she will “bear it and fall in love.” Perhaps she just wants to receive warmth and care or get married and have a child at any cost, or maybe she is simply guided by a sober calculation and wants to extract banal benefits from a new relationship. And all this has nothing to do with real feelings. And those who have experienced them at least once in their lives long for a wonderful repetition!

Let's forget the past

When entering into a new relationship, each of us hopes that we will be able to distance ourselves from the past, forget it, and it will not in any way affect the revival of new love. It simply will not exist for you or your next lover. However, the past is still the past, one way or another, reminds of itself literally in the smallest details. And here you just need to rely on your own wisdom.

Getting rid of jealousy

The initial stage of a relationship is getting rid of concerns, fears, prejudices, and obstacles. This will not be very easy to do if you and your new man already know the taste of betrayal and betrayal. But if you don’t overcome this, don’t completely leave it in the past, then a full-fledged harmonious relationship will not work out.

You must definitely learn not to be jealous of your partner about the past. This jealousy can destroy a relationship that has barely begun. You should realize and accept that before you he had a whole piece of life full of some feelings, emotions, experiences and hopes associated with other women. Therefore, your fears and jealousy are completely justified. But you need to be patient and wait until they disappear. Always repeat to yourself that this is all the past, and for him you are a new stage, completely different, and it depends only on you whether he will become happier for the man. Don't be jealous of the past.

Don't get into your soul

If you strive for a harmonious and fulfilling relationship, do not try to delve into the soul of your new chosen one, in his life. Feel what he needs at this stage of life and share it with him fully. Then your relationship will develop and give both of you true satisfaction.

You will be brought together by a feeling of complete peace and harmony, devoid of any tension and irritation. Of course, this does not mean at all that you cannot help but react to his bad mood, depression and ask what happened. But if a person is not in the mood to be frank with you at the moment, leave him alone and do not be offended.

A pause in a relationship can only be beneficial

If you suddenly feel some alienation towards yourself, there is no need to insist on dating and try to sort things out. Don't force your company on him. This is natural at the beginning of a relationship. It is important to let the person understand that you do not limit his freedom and do not strive to become the meaning of his life.

Sometimes it is very useful to take a break from each other - this break will only be beneficial: it will give you the opportunity to analyze a new relationship, look at it from the outside, evaluate its importance for you, honestly admit to yourself whether it is worth continuing and developing it or is it just another superficial one enthusiasm.

The beginning of a relationship is the most romantic time. A man and a woman have just passed the dating stage and are getting to know each other with great interest. This is the period when you look forward to every meeting, the so-called “candy-bouquet” period. For some it can be bright and unforgettable, for others it can smoothly transition into everyday relationships, while others don’t know about its existence.

According to many male representatives, providing their woman with bouquets and sweets is an expensive business and can cost a pretty penny, and they believe that it is not sweets that are so attractive when starting a relationship. This time in itself is sweet. The main component of starting a relationship is intrigue. It seems that you already know this person, but you still don’t know anything about him, and you are eagerly trying to get to know him. I want to look at him, feel his smell, hear his voice... Although, this is rather a feeling of falling in love, which is inextricably linked with the beginning of a relationship. #Friendship between a man and a woman - 17 signs of deception#

First we fall in love, then feelings smoothly move to a new stage - conscious, lasting love. Falling in love can be described as a state of euphoria, when hormones are off the charts, you cannot eat, work, or do anything else except think about your lover. Oh, how cool it would be if these sensations and feelings always remained in the relationship, and life together was like one big candy-bouquet period!

How does a guy/girl behave at the beginning of a relationship?

In general, a man and a woman are equally passionate about each other, their thoughts are constantly occupied with each other, but still there are differences in their behavior at the beginning of a relationship.

If we talk about women, they seem to find themselves in a fairy tale, considering themselves a princess who met a prince on a white horse. All the things that were abandoned, the promises that were not fulfilled - everything is instantly fulfilled, strength comes from somewhere. The woman is full of energy and determination. Be sure to put yourself in complete order. If funds allow, she runs to a beauty salon, and if her budget is limited, she puts on her beauty herself. As many representatives of the fair sex recall, during this period they themselves lose weight without noticing it. And this is doubly pleasant.

If you are a woman, then at the beginning of a relationship, try to resist and not bother your lover with an endless number of calls or messages. Stay patient, it will be rewarded. When going on a date, don't go overboard with your appearance. Try to look natural but well-groomed. When you meet, show him that you care about him, but don’t overwhelm him with your feelings.

A man at the initial stage of a relationship wants to seem cool. And cool, in his understanding, means a little hidden. He will try in every possible way not to show his feelings to a woman, so as not to feel dependent. He will not call as often as he would like, but in his heart he is afraid that you will leave him.

If you are a man, then naturally you know how to woo her and act according to the plan. Try to surprise her and please her.

Possible disappointments

At the initial stage, all lovers tend to idealize their other halves. In the process of further communication, you understand that your beloved does not correspond to the qualities that you yourself have endowed him with and therefore disappointments are possible.

Also, a woman may become disappointed in a man if she expects courtship, attention, romantic dates from him, but he does not show initiative. What to do? Do not worry! As mentioned above, his behavior may be out of fear of appearing weak. Give him some time, and if nothing changes, try asking him out yourself. Of course, if he refuses, it means that most likely he is not impressed with you. And this is not good or bad, this is life and it happens.

It happens that when you start a new relationship, you are not yet ready to part with your past ones. Not literally of course, but in the soul. You compare your new partner with your ex, remember how your initial stage went through with that young man. This is all a path to destruction. And the fact that you are tormenting yourself from within will affect your condition, mood and the fact that your new boyfriend is not like your ex can lead to separation. It is very important to understand that you are starting a new chapter in your book of life, and to be ready for change!

How does a Virgo man behave in a relationship?

Male representatives who are very picky about girls and, having found one, will make her happy - these are Virgo men. This zodiac sign is characterized by insight; it can easily determine whether you are playing or being natural. At the beginning of a relationship, and not only at the beginning, the Virgo man demands honesty from his chosen one and is sincere himself. For him, communication skills and openness of his partner are important, with whom he can talk for hours on various topics. Unlike the Scorpio man, the Virgo man is devoted to his woman, does not cheat and demands fidelity from her.

Speaking about relationships in general, we must not forget that the candy-bouquet period someday ends, and grinding begins with quarrels, scandals, and showdowns. Or the grind goes smoothly, but over time the relationship becomes ordinary and boring. Remember those moments when your heart skipped a beat in anticipation of meeting your loved one. Remember first dates, courtship. Give each other surprises and gifts. One Hollywood celebrity couple, considered one of the lasting unions, shared the secret of their happy relationship. It turns out that once a month they make a date with each other, and each time these are new places. Moreover, they go on this date separately, and not as spouses. And again and again they play out the dating scene.

You must always “feed” relationships so that the fire in our hearts does not go out! Love each other and carry this love through the years!

What motivates a man when he really likes a woman? Why do guys do this? It’s so simple – just three words “I like you” and that’s it! But at the same time, men are silent. Why?

More than one hundred young boys and girls, adult men and mature women passed before my eyes with very similar questions and opinions about gender relations. Recently I was reviewing my work notes and the idea came to me to write an article and reveal in it some of the characteristic features of the behavior of a guy in love at the early stage of a relationship. Men often complain that women's logic is incomprehensible to them and even about its complete absence. But we women also do not always understand the motives of male behavior, especially when it comes to romantic relationships with a woman.

Let's try to imagine relationships in the form of a set table, where there are meat steaks of passion and physical intimacy, as well as fine wines of romance and mutual commitment. We want to try it all, get our fill and enjoy it. But if we eat only meat without drinking wine, it will not be very tasty and dry, and if we drink only wine, then we will have fun, get slightly drunk, but will not satisfy our hunger. Now let me draw an analogy between the metaphor I proposed and real life: men prefer meat a little more than women, and women prefer wine a little more. Moreover, both want to leave the table well-fed.

Based on the conversations I have had with representatives of both sexes, I can say with all responsibility that the difference in the perception of relationships between men and women is precisely this – “a little more.” Men, like women, are characterized by romance and sensuality; they are not at all obsessed exclusively with the physical side of relationships, as many believe. Proof? Please! According to my survey, more than 75% of men believe in soul mate. And when I asked men to make an honest choice between mutual love for life or amazing sex, but for six months, 92% chose love.

Here are some of the men's statements on this matter:

• “Men value love and loyalty above all else,” Ian, 31 years old;
• “Guys, just like women, feel butterflies in their stomachs and dizziness when they are in love,” Josef, 26 years old;
• “Women don’t understand that most men fall in love long before the moment when they are ready to admit it,” Miroslav, 30 years old.

So why does it turn out that a woman is not so afraid to show her affection and is more willing to get closer, while a man needs to be dragged like a preschooler to a dentist appointment? At the very beginning of the development of a relationship, both the man and the woman wait for signals from each other. This is a kind of game called “Who will start first”. If both are in love, then this is what happens: the man does not show determination, fearing to be rejected, the woman behaves in much the same way. Everyone waits, afraid to destroy the fragile balance of mutual sympathy, and not daring to express this sympathy out loud.

Of all the men I talked to, less than half (!) said that they were the first to admit their feelings. At the same time, more than half of women claim that it was they who initiated the promotion of relationships to higher levels. So everything fits. The guys explain this situation by saying that “butterflies fluttering in the stomach” completely deprive them of self-confidence.

Mikhail, 37, owner of a small restaurant in Prague, says he is very careful in the early stages of a relationship: “It’s not because I’m smug or want to play cat and mouse with a woman.” He restrains himself, waiting for a signal from the woman to clearly understand that he can now step on the gas. “I would like to hear from a woman even a hint that she considers me as her mate,” he says. “I need a little praise, attention and encouragement, just like a woman needs from me. This is the very signal, having received which, I will give her my whole heart.”

Peter, 29, Brno, agrees: “Men should talk about their feelings. What women forget, however, is that if they love a nice guy, the nice guy might be too nervous to be the first to say how he feels,” and then adds, “Women need to be more open so they don't make men suffer all day long.”

Girls, do you understand? It turns out that guys suffer more and more often than we do? Think: in a romantic game, a man, taking the first step (of course, after your countless hints and expectations that he will finally understand these hints), makes such moral efforts that he turns himself almost inside out, losing all “protection” (what if they tell him “no”?). And believe me, even famous handsome men who conquer ladies’ hearts have several similar moments in their “record”, the memories of which make them shudder from time to time.

So, the man crossed the barrier and found out that you like him too. The danger of being rejected is over. But the guys also move forward reluctantly. Like monkeys in a laboratory, who have been subjected to all sorts of experiments and frightened for many days, having reached a safe place, they do not want to leave there.

A fragile balance is established again and the woman must give a signal that everything is fine and the next step can be taken. However, this should be done very delicately so that the man does not feel that he is being pushed into this. Let him know that there is something special between you and you feel the same way he does. But you need to act carefully - there are dangers ahead, and by reading further you will find out what they are.

Now we will move on to questions that women often ask me and the answers to them.

What should I call our relationship and how should I announce it?

Maria, 19 years old, Prague. I've been dating a guy for a little over three weeks now and I have a feeling it's serious. After the first two dates, we had already spent quite a lot of time together - we met twice during the week and twice on the weekend. I would like to talk to him about what our relationship is called, but I'm afraid of scaring him off. I just need to make sure we look at our relationship the same way. After all, we also meet other people, and I would like them to know about our relationship. I wonder what he thinks about this?

He thinks that three weeks of dating is not a reason for such a conversation. In his mind, you want to announce to everyone around you something like this - Today we welcome the birth of a new beautiful couple, weighing eight dates, two films and six orgasms (five of his and one of yours): Meet! Maria and Alexander! Congratulations!

Too formal, too formal and too organized, to say the least... And this formality can serve as a kind of fire extinguisher for the spark that initially flared up. “The only thing worse than a woman who shows no interest after a few dates is a woman who shows too much interest,” says Anton, 25. Ivan, 32, adds: “Take your time. Please don’t tell us you love us after three weeks of dating.”

Really, think of it this way: You don't like it when a guy skips foreplay and goes straight to sex, do you? When you talk about the state of the relationship too early, it is perceived as skipping foreplay and going straight to intimacy with all the ensuing consequences. If a man sees you four times a week, then this is a good sign and your relationship is moving in the right direction. But keep a little intrigue, let the guy enjoy what is, in the form in which it is now. Don't force things too much.

How will I know when it's time to tell him how I feel?

Lucia, 23 years old, Prague. I have been dating a man for several months now. It suits me almost perfectly. He knows how to make you laugh, he does a good job and I find it very interesting and pleasant to spend time with him. We had a great time together last weekend. I feel like our relationship will continue and I think he feels the same. But I’m very afraid to ruin all this with my confession. How can I tell him how I feel about him?

Two months may seem like just a point on a long tape of time, but for some men, it's an entire era. In this situation, the man, of course, wants honesty. “If she's more open with me, then I'll be more open with her, especially early in the relationship when we're both keenly aware of each other on an emotional level,” says Martin, 33.

Feel free to be honest about your feelings, but don't make assumptions about his feelings. Don't use the words "we" and "you." At this stage, you will strengthen your status as “the one and only” in the eyes of a man if you talk about what you like about him, what you get from a relationship with him, what attracts you to him.

Everyone has their own concerns. (Yes, our favorite thing is ourselves, it's human nature.) You have to find a way to show and say that you enjoy your relationship and are happy to be with him. Stroke his pride a little, but don’t give him any reason to think that you are ready to go to the store to choose wedding rings. At this still early stage of the relationship, on the one hand, you need to give him permission to love, and on the other, preserve the opportunity for him to leave.

What if I give him an ultimatum?

Anna, 31 years old, Pilsen. We have known each other for a year and a half, of which we have been living together for almost six months. I'm 31, and at this age it's not so easy to start something from the very beginning to start a family. We need to move forward, have children, and if he doesn’t want to formalize the relationship with me, then it turns out that I’m just wasting my time. Even my friend said that there is no point in him marrying me, because he gets everything as it is, without tying himself to any obligations. I'm already thinking about presenting him with an ultimatum - either he gets married, or we break up. But something tells me this is a bad idea. How do you know if he will ever decide to take the next step?

Many women feel that men are afraid of marriage commitment because they want to retain freedom of choice, because they are waiting for something better, or because they fear that marriage will be the official end of romance and passion. Kazimir, 30, says that a man's hesitation does not indicate his indifference, but in fact the opposite is true: “Men can be just as insecure in relationships as women. I got married a couple of months ago to the woman I love, who (I am sure) will be a wonderful wife to me and mother to my future children. Is she 100% my other half? It’s a difficult question, but even if not, she’s very close to it.”

When you decide that you want to get married, you count on reciprocity - so that this is his desire too. Are ultimatums presented in such cases? Don't think. If you are honest about your feelings for a man and this is not just a “relationship” on your part (just to avoid being alone), ask the man directly about his feelings for you. If he can't tell you what he thinks and what he feels, well, then decide for yourself whether this relationship is worth pursuing.

FROM THE AUTHOR: My responses in the comments are the opinion of an individual and not the advice of a specialist. I’m trying to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I don’t physically have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also don’t have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires a huge amount of free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I kindly ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, and do not expect that I will advise in the comments or accompany your situation.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many people do), but in this case, be prepared for the fact that I may not answer you. This is not a matter of principle, but solely of time and my physical capabilities. Don't be offended.

If you want to receive qualified help, please seek advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

With respect and hope for understanding, Frederica