Sex after childbirth: timing and possible problems. Features of sexual activity after childbirth: when and how best to start

“When can you have sex after childbirth” is a question that worries both new and future parents! And this is not in vain - with the birth of a child, a lot changes in married life, including sex. Let's try to understand this difficult issue.

After discharge from the hospital, doctors give standard recommendations: abstinence for 6-8 weeks. This is due to the fact that after childbirth the uterus needs to get rid of residual blood. Thus, the place to which the placenta was attached turns into an open wound during childbirth. Abstinence for this time is necessary for contraction of the uterus, restoration of damaged tissue, etc. Therefore, until it ends - this is about a month or a month and a half, gynecologists recommend abstaining from vaginal contact for the following reasons:

• Firstly, possible infection into the uterus, cervix or vagina.
• Secondly, after sexual intercourse possible resumption of bleeding due to the fact that blood clots formed in vessels damaged during childbirth can break off due to blows from the penis during sexual intercourse.
• Thirdly, if the birth was complicated by episiotomy (tearing the perineum followed by suturing), then recovery period may increase even up to 2-3 months - until all the stitches are completely healed.

" Many women feel pain when they begin to resume sexual intercourse after childbirth.

When this discomfort may subside depends on individual characteristics, and no doctor can predict the exact time. There are a lot of sensory nerves in the female genital area; when the perineum ruptures, they are damaged, and these nerve endings can be pinched in the sutures. And because the comparison of these torn edges cannot be 100% accurate, due to the fact that the tissues are very mobile and soft, the configuration of the vagina can be slightly changed. This can provoke pain even in those positions that were previously very comfortable for a woman.

Sex after caesarean section

" Delivery by cesarean section also requires abstinence for 4-6 weeks.

And the point is not only in the scar on the uterus, which, as in natural childbirth, heals in the same 4-6 weeks, but also in the place where the placenta was attached - it must also heal. It is worth noting that the suture on the abdomen heals much earlier, but, unfortunately, it is not the main indicator of muscle recovery.

Difficulties of sex

Let's try to look at the main “difficulties of sex” that young parents face.

1. Lack of natural lubrication - vaginal dryness.

This is often due to the fact that in a woman’s body after childbirth the level of estrogen (pleasure hormone). It’s not difficult to overcome this problem; just purchase it in specialized stores. gel lubricant. And if you support breastfeeding, then you must carefully study the composition of ointments, since many of them contain hormones, which is strictly contraindicated during breastfeeding.

2.Weakening of sensitivity.

“Everything has become huge, there is no sensitivity,” many women and men note after childbirth. This occurs primarily due to the fact that after the baby’s head passes through the birth canal, the vaginal muscles become sluggish and relaxed. Some women even become depressed after giving birth because before giving birth they could experience both orgasm and arousal, but after giving birth they lost this. And, by the way, the legend that it was after childbirth that a woman began to experience orgasm does not correspond to reality. This, rather, only seems purely psychological, since from a physiological point of view, due to the weakening of the vaginal walls, there is a weakening of sensitivity, and therefore a decrease in arousal.

You can speed up the recovery process by doing Kegel exercises. These exercises improve blood circulation, increase sexual tone and can even help control orgasm. In order to master the skill of contracting the figure-eight muscle that covers the entrance to the vagina and the anus, you need to slowly pull the anus into yourself, trying to make sure that the muscle surrounding the vagina also contracts. This movement resembles the moment when you can consciously stop urinating. This exercise can be done in any position at any time, starting from 1 time per second to 30 times for every hour. There is also an exercise for the same muscle, when a slow retraction occurs for 5 seconds, and then a slow relaxation occurs in the same 5 seconds. At this time, you can imagine that you are drawing something into yourself and sending it up the spine.

"The great thing about these exercises is that you can exercise at any time: while walking, lying in front of the TV, etc.

3.Pain at the entrance to the vagina and in the perineal area.

At the beginning of resuming sexual relations, a woman should try to relax as much as possible and not interfere with penetration. The most suitable positions for this are “face to face” and “woman on top”; in them you can independently control the level of penetration of your partner, which will help avoid pain. Also, unfortunately, after suturing, the configuration of the vagina can be changed, which, given the special sensitivity of the mucous membranes and skin of the perineum after childbirth, pressure during sexual intercourse almost always leads to pain.

Help soften such seams ointments for keloid sutures can be used, for example, “Solcoseryl”, “Kontratubeks”, etc.

It is extremely rare, but there are still cases when pain is associated with significant violations of the anatomy of the vagina that occurred after surgery during childbirth and this problem is solved only surgical intervention.

4.Psychological difficulties, associated with fatigue, postpartum depression against the background of a changed figure, etc.

It happens that after 9 months of bearing a child, a woman has become so close and accustomed to him that after giving birth, her thoughts cannot occupy anything except him.

In addition, it is inherent in nature that the female does not need another cub as long as this one requires care and attention, and therefore she does not experience sexual attraction. The burden of responsibility and fears for the child can completely “cover” a woman and even develop into depression, against the backdrop of general incomprehensibility and isolation. If it is so difficult for you to leave your child alone, you can purchase a baby monitor and, while the child is sleeping, be alone with your spouse, but at the same time “be on alert.”

Many women may feel unattractive due to enlarged breasts, a flattened waist, and other changes that inevitably come with childbirth.

“Psychologists still advise giving your partner the right to choose, and if he wants you, then all your complexes are in vain.

Of course, this does not mean that you need to relax, dissolve in the child and do nothing. Your current figure is just a temporary phenomenon and everything depends only on you: stick to a balanced and healthy diet (which will be useful not only for you, but also for your baby who is breastfed), do gymnastics, walk more, etc. If, nevertheless, the desire has disappeared, then you should not immediately refuse your spouse, try to remember the best moments of your sex life. Try to carve out a moment just for the two of you, have a romantic evening (or morning) with beautiful underwear and everything that worried you before the baby arrived. And most importantly, remember that sex is not a service “for the husband”, that it is joy and positive emotions for the two of you!

So, the time to determine the beginning of sexual life remains with the woman, and everyone has the right to determine this period for herself, but I really want dear spouses, despite all the difficulties of the first days, weeks and months spent with a newborn baby, not to focus only on the child and remembered that only mutual love, support for each other’s interests and mutual respect will help restore the joy of sex to you, no matter how long after giving birth you resume it.

In the first days after the birth of your child, you are very far from thinking about how your intimate relationship with your spouse will develop. And what kind of sex can a mother think about when she clutches her baby to her chest?!
But family and sexual life does not stop there. Not only the child, but also the father of your child needs care and affection.

The nature of sexual relations between spouses during the postpartum period is influenced by many factors: the course of labor, the presence of any complications, and the well-being of the woman herself.
Doctors usually recommend resuming sexual relations 6-8 weeks after childbirth. But here only you yourself can assess your well-being and readiness to continue your sexual life. Ideally, before this event, you should visit a gynecologist to reliably make sure that your body has returned to normal, and with the help of a doctor, select the contraceptives that are most suitable for this period.
Statistics show that almost half of women experience difficulties in intimate life three months after childbirth or perceive sex as an overwhelming duty, and about 18% face these problems within a year.
The reasons may be purely individual, but there are several common factors that prevent continued sexual activity immediately after childbirth.

Reason number 1. Vaginal dryness caused by a lack of estrogen hormones. This problem is easily fixed. In this case, it is advisable to use special products that moisturize the mucous membranes and lubricants.

Reason number 2. Women experience pain or fear before sexual intercourse due to stitches placed on tears and cuts in the perineum. The mucous membranes and skin at the entrance to the vagina and perineum are very sensitive during the postpartum period. In the area of ​​the sutures, especially with pressure, pain may occur. During sexual intercourse, a woman may show unconscious resistance to penetration. In this case, you need to try to relax as much as possible during sexual intercourse, use the “woman on top” or “face to face” poses - this way you can control your movements and avoid pain.

As a rule, after a caesarean section it is easier for a woman to make love: there is no vagina stretched by the passage of the child, there are no tears or scars.
To minimize the risk of ruptures, doctors recommend performing a special set of Kegel exercises throughout pregnancy.

KEGEL COMPLEX
EXERCISE 1. Straighten up in any position, relax the muscles of the abdomen, buttocks and legs. Squeeze the muscles around the anus several times, as if preventing bowel movement. The exercise can be performed several times a day.

EXERCISE 2. While emptying the bladder, interrupt the process and continue after a few seconds. In this way you will strengthen the anterior group of pelvic floor muscles. Theoretically, this exercise can be done in any situation, just imagine that you are trying to pinch a slipping tampon.

EXERCISE 3. This exercise combines the first and second. Start by relaxing, then gradually squeeze the pelvic floor muscles, starting with the back group, and only then involving the front. Each exercise should be done for two minutes, and the entire complex should be repeated at least three times a day.

Reason number 3. Psychological problems. The first three weeks after childbirth, a woman may suffer from endogenous depression, which usually intensifies against the background of general fatigue and constant lack of sleep. Here, the father’s help and support in solving everyday problems and joint child care are very important.

Gynecologists often hear the same question from young mothers: “when can you have sex?” Young mothers are more interested in this issue than fathers, since the entire pregnancy and childbirth falls entirely on the fragile shoulders of women. Women, while carrying a baby, change completely, both physically and psychologically. Their vulnerable and delicate body is preparing for the arrival of a child, which completely rebuilds it. Nature made sure that women were able to bear, give birth and feed their children. It’s sad, but this can significantly affect intimacy after the baby is born.

The process of pregnancy itself changes a woman's body. Many mothers cannot regain their previous shape for a long time. Weakened abdominal muscles, stretch marks, excess weight remaining during pregnancy - all this provokes complexes that a woman accumulates within herself, which negatively affects the intimate relationship between a couple.

The opportunity to resume sexual intercourse for the first time appears approximately seven weeks after the birth of the child.

Reasons for refusing sexual intercourse after childbirth:

• Difficult childbirth;
• The presence of ruptures in the internal tissues of the perineum and muscles of the uterus;
• Divergence of the pelvic bones during labor;
• Previous caesarean section.

All these reasons can delay the resumption of sexual intercourse until the female body is completely restored.

You should not neglect the recommendations of the gynecologist, because only the attending physician can check how well the genitals and vagina have recovered after the birth of the baby, and whether blood is flowing there well. Mothers who have given birth are advised to visit a gynecologist one month after the birth of the baby, if the birth took place without complications.

If after childbirth and discharge of mother and baby home, pain, bleeding, and fever continue, then you should urgently contact a gynecologist. These symptoms may be caused by an infection that occurs during the postpartum period. For this reason, sexual contact also remains strictly prohibited.

Bleeding that occurs after the birth of the baby can continue for one to three weeks, gradually “fading away.”

A woman should listen to her body, because only she knows it like no one else. It must be said that the renewal of the desire for intercourse after childbirth depends not only on health, but also on the psychological state and mood.

Postpartum period

During the postpartum period, a woman changes psychologically. She often gets tired, irritable, and impulsive, which can be caused by postpartum depression or even psychosis. This prevents sex from being as enjoyable and emotionally fulfilling. During this period, the support of the husband is extremely necessary. A young mother, looking at herself in the mirror, often finds fault with the reflection and tries to see in it an insufficiently attractive woman, which significantly reduces self-esteem. Compliments from a loved one are very important here. The husband and father in one person must understand that during this period the emotional connection established within the couple is important. Help caring for a newborn should be evenly distributed among new parents, allowing each family member to devote at least a little time to each other.

The first intimate intimacy should be in a romantic mood, light candles, use aromatic oils, turn on pleasant music, cook together or order a delicious dinner at home, which will certainly allow you to relax and improve the mood of both partners. However, for the first time after childbirth, having sex should be careful; do not forget about the occurrence of bleeding, since the woman’s body may not fully recover.

To begin sexual intercourse, it is best to use intimate caresses, which will relax you and give you the opportunity to feel whether sex will be pleasant or whether it will still bring not entirely pleasant sensations. Also, many women after childbirth are afraid of vaginal dryness. To eliminate such problems, you can use intimate lubricant. Of great importance is how the woman’s obstetrics went, whether it was a natural birth or a caesarean section.

C-section

Caesarean section occupies a separate place in the list of procedures that help childbirth be painless and safe for both mother and baby. A caesarean section is a surgical intervention during childbirth that may be needed at any stage of pregnancy. There are many indications for a caesarean section, for example:

• Premature placental abruption;
• Incorrect placement of the fetus;
• The occurrence of bleeding for unknown reasons;
• The umbilical cord wraps around the cervical groove of the fetus several times;
• Death of the fetus in the womb.

Detection of all of these causes requires urgent surgical intervention. Immediately after the operation, a recovery period is required, which lasts from 8 weeks. After 8 weeks, the suture is completely healed, and postpartum bleeding also stops. Intimacy should bring pleasure to both partners; correctly selected positions during sexual intercourse play a big role in this. Whether during a caesarean section or during a natural birth, it is best to start with a position where the man is behind. This position allows you not to put pressure on the abdominal muscles and control the penetration of the penis into the vagina, while the man must be careful not to harm his companion.

Among women who have given birth, there is an opinion that after the birth of a baby during the first six months there is no possibility of getting pregnant again, but this is not so.

The ability to become pregnant in the female body is restored after a month and a half. In women who gave birth by Caesarean section, after two months. For peace of mind and safety, you should use contraceptives, this allows you to completely relax during sexual intercourse.

Contraceptives

Contraceptives should be treated with caution after the birth of a child, but this only applies to medications that contain hormones. For nursing mothers, medications are currently available that do not contain hormones that can affect the development of the baby through breast milk. But before purchasing, you need to get a face-to-face consultation with a gynecologist.

A good method is, but the downside is that it can only be installed after five to six months after childbirth, when the female body has fully recovered. The selection of the spiral is also carried out by a gynecologist. Condoms will help protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy, but they tend to break and no one is immune from this.

Each couple should choose a method of contraception that will suit both partners and not interfere with intimacy and sexual intercourse with unpleasant sensations, which will distract from the mood.

The birth of a baby is the responsibility of both parents. Mutual understanding and support play a big role in the life of a family; how quickly a woman returns to normal after birth depends on this. How long can postpartum depression last, which manifests itself differently in each woman? And this affects the resumption of sexual intercourse between the couple and intimacy. A woman feels confident if she has a calm, balanced man next to her who is happy to become the father of her child.

Sexual intercourse in this case only strengthens the bond between spouses. This gives confidence to both parents in general, both emotionally and psychologically.

Young parents, supporting each other, at the birth of a baby understand more about family values ​​and personal space. And sexual contact only strengthens their union.

After the birth of a baby, a young mother has a lot of worries: feeding the baby, caring for her and herself, while no one has canceled household responsibilities! She continues to cook, wash, clean and remain a wife. After childbirth, a woman needs support, tenderness and affection, and after some time the spouses come to a common decision to continue their sexual life. But, unfortunately, not everything is so simple in intimate relationships between a man and a woman after the birth of a baby.

Reasons for lack of sex immediately after childbirth

Each birth is entirely individual. The weight of the child, its location, the condition of the woman, and the medical staff determine how well the process of the baby’s coming into this world will go. Sexual activity after childbirth is possible if the young mother is in good health.

There are several points that make intimate relationships difficult or impossible.

1. Physiological reasons. After childbirth, a woman’s hormonal levels change, so libido may disappear and vaginal dryness may occur. Also, sexual life after childbirth may fail due to weakened muscle tension in a woman. As a result, she does not get the pleasure she deserves.
2. Medical reasons. Difficult natural childbirth or caesarean section entails a fear of pain in the young mother. If the stitches have not healed, then you should wait a little with sex, otherwise a woman’s sex life after childbirth will turn into a nightmare.
3. Psychological reasons. Fear of getting pregnant again, being unattractive to the husband (especially after a partner birth), waking up the child, not experiencing pleasure - all this comes from the psychological state of the woman after childbirth.

Beginning of sexual activity after natural childbirth

Natural childbirth is a process in which the woman herself helps the baby to come into the world. This does not require surgery.

After such a process, every woman has a cleansing of her body. At this time, she begins to experience bleeding similar to menstruation, and the uterus gradually returns to its previous appearance. Also, a young mother may notice that she has become more feminine and has acquired rounded breasts and buttocks. Naturally, such changes will not go unnoticed by the husband. He, like a normal man, has a desire and desire for his woman. Therefore, spouses ask themselves the question: “Sex life after childbirth: when can you start and will it be full?” Doctors note that after a natural birth, if there are no contraindications, you can have sex within 4-5 weeks. But there are many reasons why these deadlines are significantly shifted. We will look at them below.

Sex after Caesarean

Sexual activity after childbirth in the first month is strictly prohibited for women who gave birth by cesarean section. And in the second month this is difficult, because sex involves tension of some muscles, their work. And this can lead to sutures coming apart and severe pain. It must be taken into account that it takes time to restore the uterine mucosa and the sutures on it. In the case of surgical intervention during childbirth, it is important for spouses to know how long it will take for sexual activity after childbirth to be safe. Gynecologists advise starting it no earlier than 1.5 - 2 months after surgery. For your own peace of mind, before continuing your intimate life, you need to go for a consultation and examination with a doctor. After all, a seam on the skin heals faster than on the uterus.

Lack of sexual desire: psychological aspects

After the birth of a child, young spouses may experience fear before starting sexual life. This may also be facilitated by the mental characteristics of the woman who gave birth and the man who was present at the birth.

The lack of desire to have sex after childbirth may be due to some psychological reasons. Although sexual activity after natural childbirth may begin earlier, there is no guarantee that the woman is psychologically ready for it. Representatives of the fair sex always want to look beautiful. It's no secret that pregnancy can result in extra pounds. On this basis, plus postpartum psychosis, various complexes may appear: about appearance, inconsistency with a man’s expectations in sex, fear of the influence of sexual activity on milk production. If the husband was present at the birth, the wife for some reason thinks that he will grow cold towards her. All these complexes are common myths if the spouses have strong family relationships. The birth of a child only strengthens them, even though the man has seen the woman’s suffering, even though she has changed a little. To start a sexual life after childbirth, sincerity in relationships, agreement and trust are important. Then there will be no reason to deny yourself pleasure.

What could be the physiological reasons for a long absence of sex?

Such factors include complications after childbirth and lack of desire, which is expressed at the physiological level.

Sexual life after childbirth can be complicated by medical reasons such as stitch changes and prolonged healing. You just need to be patient and wait for the right time for intimate relationships.

Another reason, no less important for spouses, is vaginal dryness and its expansion after childbirth. As a result, sexual intercourse does not bring pleasure to the woman and man. Vaginal dryness is caused by the hormonal background of a young mother’s body; lubricants can be used to solve this problem. Another possible problem is low vaginal muscle tone, which prevents it from returning to its original shape. As a result, the woman is not able to experience orgasm, and the man does not experience the same pleasure as before. Naturally, who would like such a sex life after childbirth? Reviews from young mothers indicate that only after 8-12 months they were able to feel like a lioness woman in intimate intimacy with her husband. We see that you just need to be patient, and then your sex life will return to normal.

The third wheel, or Fear of sex because of a child

Another reason for a woman’s lack of sexual desire is the feeling of a third wheel in the room - a child. She constantly twitches when he grunts, worries that he will not wake up on time, and so on. To do this, you need to plan the time and arrange a romantic dinner, being sure that the child is sleeping. A simple solution to this problem is to go to another room during intimacy.

Contraception after childbirth

Many couples think in advance about how a woman can avoid getting pregnant again. There is an opinion that with constant breastfeeding before the onset of menstruation, spouses do not need to use protection. But this is not a 100% contraceptive method. Each woman's hormonal background is individual. And if one after childbirth can get pregnant only a year later, then the other - in a month. There are many methods of contraception, some can be used immediately after the baby is born, others cannot. If you do not know what methods of protection against unwanted pregnancy to use, then you need to contact a competent specialist.

When is specialist consultation necessary?

We looked at the main reasons why sex after childbirth may not bring any pleasure. In the case of slight deviations from the norm of physical and psychological health, with the support of the husband, these problems can be easily solved. But if a married couple is not able to cope with them on their own, then there is no need to neglect the consultation of specialists such as a gynecologist, psychologist, or sexologist. Then sex life after childbirth will acquire a new taste for husband and wife.

The resumption of sexual activity after the birth of the baby has an individual time frame for each couple. Usually, the gynecologist sets a certain period of abstinence for the new mother during a routine examination. His term depends on the woman's health, characteristics of childbirth and other nuances.

Every young mother is concerned with the question: how long can you not have sex after childbirth? We answer: if the birth of a child occurred without complications, you can return to intimate life a month and a half after giving birth.

This is caused by the need to restore the uterus and heal the placenta attachment site. Infection in an open wound can lead to inflammation of the uterus, so you should wait until the damaged tissues heal.

The vaginal dimensions should also come into shape. Immediately after birth, it is in a stretched state and gradually contracts to its previous size. To speed up this process, many gynecologists recommend performing special exercises that train the muscles of the vagina and perineum. During the examination, the gynecologist will see have the woman’s organs returned to normal? or further abstinence from sexual activity is recommended.

After childbirth, the vagina is susceptible to infection. Therefore, it is worth using high-quality contraception and maintaining hygiene. This will help avoid postpartum complications.

Remember: by deciding to have sex a week after giving birth, you are risking your own health!

If surgery occurs in the form of curettage of the uterine cavity, the period of abstinence increases at least two months. In some cases, the duration of restriction of sexual activity should be increased by the time necessary for the complete restoration of the birth canal of the young mother.

Seams and tears

Sexual life is affected by various complications that occurred during childbirth.

For example, after an episiotomy (tearing the perineum and subsequent suturing), a woman needs longer recovery period, during which she will need to give up sex.

In the female genital area there are many nerves, the sensitivity of which is damaged when the perineum is ruptured. Because of this, nerve endings can become pinched, causing discomfort when resuming sexual relations. When sutures are placed, a change in the configuration of the vagina may occur, which will cause pain in the woman in certain positions.

Painful sensations will pass over time, because the sensitivity of nerve endings has the ability to adapt to new conditions. At first a man should be especially neat during sexual intercourse, so that it is not painful and unpleasant for the partner.

In the postpartum period, due to sutures, the skin in the perineal area and the entrance to the vagina becomes more sensitive.

Pressure on the sutures, which is inevitable during sexual intercourse, can cause pain and a lack of natural lubrication in the woman. To reduce pain, you can soften the suture area by using ointments that heal keloid scars.

Features of sex after caesarean section

The duration of abstinence from sex after childbirth by cesarean section does not differ from the period of abstinence after normal childbirth and is four to six weeks.

The uterine scar will take approximately this amount of time to heal, unless any complications arise.

In most cases, a abdominal scar from a cesarean section heals faster than a uterine scar. However, since it is not the main indicator of muscle recovery, the speed of its healing is not taken into account when recommendations regarding the resumption of sexual activity.

Women who have had a C-section have a slightly easier time having sex after giving birth because their genitals have not been altered.

Since the vaginal walls and cervix remain the same as before pregnancy, there will be no problem of loss of sensation.

Types of intimacy

Almost every married couple experiences changes in their sex life after the birth of a child. At first, partners adapt to new sensations and must find best option intercourse that will suit both of them.

Oral sex After childbirth, you can resume much earlier than other types of sex. This will allow the woman and man to receive release without having to engage in penetrative sex.

During the first time after childbirth, there may be difficulties with vaginal sex for various reasons. Lack of lubrication, a woman's fear of pain, changes in sensitivity - all this can affect the desire for sex. Using high-quality lubricant, choosing the right pose and a slow pace will help you cope with problems and regain your former sexual activity.

As for anal sex, it also should be abandoned for the time after childbirth. This is especially true for women who have suffered perineal ruptures during childbirth, hemorrhoids or anal fissures.

Even in the absence of contraindications, a young mother should know that during anal sex the uterus is stimulated along the back wall. This can lead to uterine bleeding.

Unpleasant symptoms: what should you pay attention to?

Every woman after childbirth should listen to her feelings during sex, not only to get pleasure, but also to prevent problems.

For example, pain during intercourse can be both physiological and psychological. If you have severe pain you should postpone sex and start looking for the cause of the discomfort.

Presence of blood during sex it can frighten partners and to find out the reason, a woman should immediately see a gynecologist.

Bloody discharge can be caused by both lochia residue and healing scars after ruptures. If the bleeding is severe, you should not delay your visit to the doctor and call an ambulance.

When deciding to disturb sexual intercourse, a woman needs to take into account not only the recommendations of her doctor, but also her own readiness for sexual life. The psychological state of the young mother must be stable. Only then is quality sex possible, which will bring pleasure to both partners.

Watch the video on how to return to bed with your husband after childbirth: