A happy wife means a happy family. Secrets of Happy Wives She compliments him

17.10.2019

In a happy marriage, both husband and wife are happy. What is the key to family happiness? Of course, the happiness of both is equal. And the task of each spouse is to ensure the happiness of the other. In this article we will talk about how to make your husband happy, since this is our main task.

It is interesting that in different religions the ways to solve this problem are defined differently. Let us consider, for the sake of interest and for general development, the 15 Islamic commandments on how to achieve the outlined goal.

1. Always greet your husband with joy

A man often has to leave his family when going on business trips related to work or education. To make the happy moments of your return more pleasant, do not hide your joy when you meet, greet your husband tenderly, wear beautiful and clean clothes, perfume and cosmetics will also not hurt; start with good news, postponing the unpleasant ones until he has rested; let him feel that you were waiting for him and missed him greatly; do everything possible to ensure that everything is cleaned up by the time he arrives and that hot, delicious food is waiting on the table.

2. Talk to him gently and kindly

3. Always be in great shape

To do this, watch your figure and body; wear beautiful dresses, wear the best perfume; try not to let your husband see you in dirty clothes, without a hairstyle and unkempt; avoid prohibited types of jewelry, such as tattoos; wear the dresses that your husband likes best; the same goes for the color of clothes, hairstyles and perfume.

4. Don’t deny him intimate relationships.

For close relationships, try to choose the right time when he is not tired, make sure that your body is clean and has a pleasant smell.

5. Be content with what is given by nature

You should not be upset if your husband is poor or works in a simple job: look at the poor, sick and people with physical disabilities, remember the Lord and thank Him for giving health and prosperity; remember that true wealth is having faith and following the true path.

6. Try to be indifferent to worldly goods

Do not consider this world to be the center of concentration of all your hopes and interests, do not demand that your husband purchase expensive trinkets, help him reduce expenses and save money in order to give alms and feed the poor and needy. Do not spend his money without his permission, even on alms, especially if you are not sure that he will approve of this spending. In your husband's absence, take care of your house, car and other property. However, to be indifferent to worldly goods does not mean to turn away from the joys of life. But at the same time, you must look into the future, realizing that there will be a next life...

7. Appreciate your husband’s care and be grateful to him

Most of the inhabitants of Hell are ungrateful women who do not appreciate the kindness shown towards them. If you are grateful to your husband, he will rejoice, love you and try to do as much pleasure as possible. In case of ingratitude, the husband will be disappointed and ask himself: “Why would I do good to her if she will never appreciate it anyway?”

8. Be faithful and devoted to your husband

Be especially devoted to your husband at a time when it is difficult for him (health or work problems), support him with all available means, including money or your property, if necessary.

9. Be flexible

Do whatever your husband tells you, if it is within the limits of what is permitted. Remember: the head of the family is the husband, and the wife is an assistant and adviser.

10. Calm your husband down if he’s not in the mood.

Try to avoid anything that may cause his anger, but if you still cannot avoid it, try to calm him down: if you are guilty, apologize. If he is to blame, then be calm, do not lead to a quarrel. Wait until he calms down and then calmly discuss the problem with him. If he is angry for any reason not concerning the family, then remain silent until his anger passes; try to find excuses for him, for example: he is tired, problems at work, someone offended him. Don't ask too many questions, insisting that he tell you what happened, especially in harsh terms, such as: “You have to tell me what happened!”, “I have to know what made you angry!” or “You are hiding something, and I have the right to know it!”

11. In the absence of your husband, take care of yourself and the honor of your family.

Avoid any forbidden relationships with other people. Keep family secrets secret, especially those related to close relationships and things that your husband does not want to tell other people about. Husband and wife must keep everything that happens in their personal lives secret. Their personal life and family secrets should not be the subject of discussion in conversations with friends and girlfriends.

12. Take care of the home and children

Take care of your husband's money and property. Be kind and affectionate with your parents and in-laws. Make sure your children are always well-groomed, clean and well-fed. Take care of their health, education and good manners. And, of course, teach your children the necessary knowledge.

13. Respect your husband's family and friends

You should warmly welcome your husband's guests and try to please them, especially his parents. You should try as much as possible to avoid problems with his relatives. You must make every effort to avoid a situation where he would have to choose between his wife and mother. Call his parents and sisters, write them letters, buy gifts, help them in difficult situations.

14. Be patient and provide moral support to your husband.

Be patient even if you are poor or going through a difficult situation. In problems and difficulties that may happen to you, your husband or children, relatives or property, be persistent and patient. When your husband treats you unfairly, respond to his bad deed with a good deed.

15. Make your home cozy and comfortable

Keep your home clean, decorate it with flowers and furnish it with beautiful furniture. From time to time, to avoid monotony, change the decor in your home. Prepare delicious and healthy food. Learn everything you need to do well in housekeeping. However, in order for a family to develop relationships full of love and harmony, love and understanding on the part of the husband are also needed.

Today I wanted to talk about a very important issue - a woman’s happiness or how the happiness of a family depends on a woman’s condition.

I can say with confidence that the happier the woman, the better the internal emotional state of the family. We can say that a happy wife is a happy family.

After all, I have written more than once that the well-being, abundance and comfort of a family depends directly on. After all, it is she who gives strength to her husband for achievements. If it is not enough, the husband begins to look to the left, he subconsciously looks for a source of energy and love. After all, the more a woman is dissatisfied with herself, the less she can give something to her family.

An ideal picture of a family (of course, this does not always happen and not for everyone, but one must strive for this), a man provides for the family, gives everything his family needs, he draws strength and energy from his wife, who loves herself and her husband and children . She is happy with herself and her world, thereby not wasting her energy fighting herself and not scolding her life, but directs it into a “peaceful direction” - the comfort of all family members and coziness in the house. A man, knowing that everything is fine in his home, his children and wife are happy, can thereby spend his energy on achieving more serious goals. But all this is facilitated by the woman’s condition.

So it turns out that if a wife is not happy with something, constantly nags her husband, is not happy with herself, scolds the children, thereby she is wasting her energy, directing it to destruction and the energy of all family members, also spending it on scolding and worries.

So, my dear women, first of all you need to take care of your mental state, of course, you can say that this is selfishness, but I will argue with you. After all, if you are unhappy, it will affect all family members, and in a negative way. And if you are beautiful and happy, then I think your loved ones will receive a lot in the form of your love and care.

Of course, I understand that every family has a different situation and sometimes it is very difficult to find a happy state in yourself, because there are so many worries and problems, but taking care of yourself should be your very first responsibility, first a duty, and then a pleasant habit.

And then self-love will not be selfishness, but concern for the family. After all, what can a wife, exhausted, tired and angry from overwork, give? Nothing but problems. So we think about this more often, and remember our loved ones.

Daily care for your beauty, 30 minutes of meditation in the morning or evening, several times a week doing sports or yoga at home or in the gym (for example, I do yoga using video recordings at home, and my child practices with me, and I and I don’t spend the family budget , this only makes everyone better), 30 minutes of solitude in the evening (a bath with foam or salt, or just reading your favorite book - just time for yourself). I think this is possible for all women, the main thing is desire.

And the result is that you are much happier, and thus have much more to offer your family.

So I am for the fact that a happy wife is a happy family.

What do you think? Your opinion is very interesting.

1. If you want to be his queen, treat him like a king. Let him get the better of you in most matters.

2. In Islam, the husband has a very high status. So it is your responsibility as a wife to give him the respect he deserves and make sure his needs are met.

3. Greet him with joy after returning from work or from some business trip. Try to look fresh and happy. A pleasant smell and a smile can work wonders.

4. Whining and complaining are extremely unpleasant things. Don't let them dominate your behavior as they can destroy your marriage. Most men really don't like these things. This does not mean that you cannot show your feelings at all, but you need to do it carefully and wisely.

5. Make an effort to learn to cook the way your husband likes. It’s not without reason that they say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. When your husband is full, he will be happy with you.

6. Give your husband pleasant surprises from time to time. Why should only husbands come up with surprises for their wives? Men love pleasant surprises no less than women. Don't wait for some special day - let your every day be special.

7. Try to be in the group of women who make life easier for their husbands, and not among those who make life difficult for them. It is about such wives - who give men the right to talk about marriage as something difficult and unpleasant - that one man once said: “I was unlucky with both of my wives: one of them left me, and the other, on the contrary, did not doesn’t want to do this!”

8. Disputes and disagreements are inevitable in marriage and even add some variety to it if they occur in moderation. However, be careful when you once again want to object to your husband - is this issue really worth quarreling over? Is this nuisance worth your irritation? And it’s completely wrong to express dissatisfaction when your husband has just come home tired from work.

9. Don’t be like demanding and eternally dissatisfied women, for whom what their husbands do for them is never enough. To do this, try not to make friends with women who are higher than you in terms of property status, so as not to become envious of what they have. Look not at those who live better than you, but at those who may be less fortunate - this is the best remedy for envy. And contentment and gratitude to your husband is the key to a happy marriage.

10. Before marriage, almost all women dream of an ideal husband, an ideal home and marriage. However, when we get married, we realize that life is far from ideal. So try to be happy with what you have. When you accept your husband and your marriage as they are, then your marriage will be perfect.

11. Try to forget and not remind your husband about any unpleasant moments of your family life - his mistakes or your quarrels. Let the past remain in the past.

12. Try to be not only a wife, but also a friend to your husband. Show interest in his affairs and work if he needs it, give him good advice if he asks you for it (or you feel the need for it). Appreciate his trust if he shares his secrets with you and do not tell anyone else about what is happening between you, so as not to betray his trust.

13. Praise him often and thank him for all the good things he does for you.

14. Encourage your husband to better observe religion: pray regularly, wake up on time for morning prayer, attend the mosque on Fridays and holidays. If parents strictly observe religion, then their children, insha Allah, will follow their example.

15. Try to create the most pleasant atmosphere at home: a clean house, delicious food, happy and obedient children, and your husband will thank Allah for a good and wise wife.

16. Create an Islamic atmosphere at home: read religious literature at home, listen to recordings of the Koran and lectures on Islam. This will fill your home with barakah.

17. Do not panic and despair if, even at the first stages of marriage, your husband or his parents do not show proper attention to you or are not always friendly. Try not to discuss your family problems with anyone else (except in cases of real necessity) to avoid the sin of backbiting, but instead be kind and welcoming to your husband and his family, this will help you win their affection and respect.

FOR HUSBANDS

1. Try to be friendly with your wife. Show her small signs of attention - in such matters, even small things matter.

2. Tell your wife that you love her more often. Three words “I love you” mean a lot to a woman!

3. A happy marriage is based on trust and mutual respect. Discuss and agree - sincerity and sincerity are always better than secrecy and silence. Any problem can be resolved if controversial issues are spoken out and discussed.

4. Sharia law gave the husband the right to divorce. Do not abuse this right and do not threaten it in vain (“if you do not do this and that, I will divorce you”): you can give your wife a divorce if you have truly exhausted all possibilities of reconciliation. After all, divorce is the most hated thing for Allah.

5. Try to give your family more priority than friends if you want to always feel good and pleasant at home. Your wife and children will always be happy if you spend your free time with them.

6. Never go to bed while in an argument. Try to resolve this issue amicably. If you think you were to blame, apologize, but sincerely, and not in this form: “Of course, I’m also to blame, but if you hadn’t done such and such...”

7. Don't let your wife feel like she's unimportant and second-rate to you. Let her feel valued and important to you.

8. Be observant - notice if your wife has prepared you a new dish or put on a new dress and praise her for it. Unfortunately, it often happens that wives dress up for their husbands and try to please them, but they do not pay attention to their efforts.

9. Help your wife with the housework if possible (go to the store, take out the trash, tidy up your things, sit with the children so that the wife can rest): do not consider this shameful for a man. Our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is said to have repaired his shoes and clothes, helped his wives, and he was the best of people. Don't think of your wife as something like a household appliance that exists to serve you and your guests. She may also feel unwell and tired.

10. Spare no effort, come up with pleasant surprises for her - even if they are cute little things, it is always pleasant.

11. Even if you are unhappy with something, try to express it gently, without rudeness, without humiliating your wife or comparing her with other women.

12. Even when alone with your wife, express your dissatisfaction without rudeness, caustic reproaches or barbs. And even more so, don’t do this in front of strangers.

13. Many husbands are often kind and friendly with strangers - with friends, colleagues, but when returning home, they turn into tyrants and rude people. This kind of behavior destroys your family. After all, no matter who you communicate with, you have to return home. So make sure that your arrival is awaited with joy, and not with fear and disgust.

14. Do not reproach your family with the good deeds that you do for them: “I earn money and provide for all of you, and you...”, “I have done so much for you, ungrateful ones...”. Good deeds and caring are good when they do not turn into means of reproach and humiliation.

15. Pay special attention to the language you use at home. Foul language, insults, and swearing create a very unhealthy atmosphere at home and set a bad example for your children.

16. Your parents have many rights over you, but try to smooth out the rough edges between your parents (especially your mother) and your wife. Be impartial when dealing with conflicts, do not take sides, show your wife and mother that you love them both and value them equally (Also remember that often your mother can be jealous of your wife and be picky and partial to her actions).

17. A man is the guardian and shepherd of his family, he is responsible for the religious education of his wife and children. Try to set an example for your family in observing religion, and do not be careless or frivolous in these matters. However, here too you need to remember what was said above - when encouraging your wife to observe some religious obligations (wearing a hijab, regularly performing namaz), be gentle and patient. Surely you, too, have not always been punctual and obligatory in these things, so be lenient.

Revive the spirit of Sunnah in your home. It is reported that the reward for reviving the Sunnah in the days of unrest is equal to the reward of a martyr for the faith.

And may Allah help you create harmony and harmony in your home. Amine.

A happy person can move mountains. He is literally seething with energy, a thirst for action and life. It becomes clear that he is capable of almost all accomplishments. Of course, a person’s inner harmony is a subjective concept. However, it should be taken into account that if there are problems in your personal life, it will simply be impossible to achieve such a perception of the world. A happy wife and husband are an ideal couple. What can give a woman a feeling of happiness?

Family psychology: inner world

First, it is necessary to say a few words regarding the inner world of such a woman. She should never do a number of things:

Comparisons;
quarrels at night;
criticism of hobbies;
first role in a relationship.

Each element of the list listed above should be described in more detail. This will allow us to better understand all the mechanisms of action.

Comparisons

This must be abandoned immediately. The phrase that I am a happy wife can only be said by a woman who does not compare herself or her husband with anyone. This approach seriously affects a person’s self-esteem.

Quarrels for the night

Conflicts that are not resolved before bedtime continue the next morning. As a result, the whole next day is ruined. This needs to be prevented in the first place. It is worth noting that after reconciliation it is much easier to fall asleep.

Criticism of hobbies

You cannot tell your husband that his interests and hobbies are something funny or shameful. This can lead to a person simply withdrawing into himself and becoming much angrier and more aggressive.

First role in a relationship

Everything is quite confusing here. Many men are natural leaders. Therefore, any encroachment on their leading role can cause conflicts in the family. It’s better just not to interfere with him being the head of the family.

Family psychology: interaction with others

Of course, happiness in the family is largely determined by interaction with the outside world. Here are the points to consider:

Clarification of relationships in front of strangers;
gossip.

All this should be avoided. We will tell you in more detail about the negative effect of each variation described in the list.

Clarifying relationships in front of strangers

For a family, this should be elevated to the category of taboo. It’s just that otherwise the habit will be formed that the household members themselves simply will not be able to resolve their conflicts. In any situation, they will need outside help. There is nothing good about this a priori.

Gossip

The relationship between husband and wife can be undermined by gossip. You shouldn’t talk about problems in your family to anyone at all. The world is full of envious people. Therefore, sooner or later, rumors about the wife’s discontent will reach the husband. Hearing them from strangers is a dubious pleasure.

Results

In fact, the rules for a happy family are quite simple, if not commonplace. Therefore, in principle, there is nothing complicated in their implementation. It is only worth understanding that each factor listed above is important.

I read the title: “How to get your husband to be less passive?”

The author - a writer, wife and clinical psychologist - examines a common complaint that women of all ages come to her with: their husbands have no passion for anything other than the couch and the screen. These wives want to know how to get their men to do something other than stare at the TV, laptop, or smartphone, and how to get them to initiate anything other than physical intimacy.

They want their men to make dates, talk to them, play with the children, stand up for themselves (at work) and their wives (with their in-laws), or care about daily decisions. The masculine sense of purpose that plagued these women during the dating period diminished in marriage.

Eternal problem

The complaint is, of course, not new. Paradise was lost when the first man took the easy way out: accepting what was happening in his marriage. The serpent whispered in her ear; he stood silently. Instead of having a moment of awkwardness with his wife and then crushing the skull of the twisted deceiver, he watched as she took a bite of the fruit. The compromise involves both - he also ate (Genesis 3:6).

And we see that Adam's passivity is echoed in many marriages today. The temptation to be emotionally and spiritually absent while physically present has remained virtually unchanged over time. The same unmanly calm still beckons men to lean back in the passenger seat. Today God asks their husbands the same question He asked in the garden: “Adam, where are you?”

And where are we? Too often we fit into a pattern that involves less responsibility and more oversight. Masculinity, leading with sacrificial love appears to be becoming an endangered species. And some of the mantras that were voiced to me as a newlywed did more harm than help to my inclusion in the list of active husbands in Christ Jesus.

Let's look at four naive and deceptive pieces of advice that even well-meaning brothers in Christ give new husbands.

"Happy wife - happy life"

The council might have the power of redemption within it. A husband should be generous in his love for his queen, finding great joy in her joy. And you can say this from the point of view of eternity: A happy wife (in the Lord) is a happy life. But it’s impossible to ignore what is most often meant by this phrase: a man’s life is less miserable when everything goes the way his woman wants.

This approach is tempting: no conflict, no unhappy bride, no accusations. Letting things be the way she wants them is much more convenient than making unpopular decisions on serious issues that you think (and pray) will be spiritually best for her and your family: does it involve where your children go? going to school, what church to attend, where you will live next, when to have children, or other countless difficult choices that require spiritual strength, courage and faith.

But Christ created men to initiate and take charge. His glory is to sacrifice. His mission is to lead his wife and family from the front, on his knees. While his responsibilities include the prosperity of his wife, the health of our leadership depends not only on the daily fluctuations of our bride's earthly happiness, but also on the consistency of obedience to our Lord. You may have a happily running wife, which will lead to a shallow, unchallenged life and ultimately a displeased Lord.

In the end, the short-sighted thinking of “happy wife, happy life” seems to throw all the toys in the closet so that you can finally go outside to play. An approach "happy wife, easier life" leads not to happiness, but to a closet full of regret, bitterness and selfishness that we will all eventually have to open. This is detrimental even to us, and even more so to the growing number of non-believers who are wondering how to get their men to be less passive. Abiding joy in our marriages is found when we live the script of Christ and His bride, not Adam and his bride.

"Your spouse is your best friend"

She's not just your best friend because marriage is not just friendship. This is not a symmetrical partnership in which the roles are interchangeable. The elegance of dance is that the man leads confidently, lovingly, thoughtfully, and the woman follows fearlessly, sensitively, joyfully - and this is much more than just friendship. The dance is wrong when the husband tries to follow.

Now, if we mean that she is the person you trust the most, the person on earth you value most, the person with whom a day spent doing tedious tasks is more than a waste time, then yes, it's nice. But our marriages are not just equal partnerships.

The glory of a spouse is greater than the glory of a friend. The wonderful event of God that binds husband and wife together in a bond that no one can break is a rose that cannot be hidden even in the beautiful tulip garden of friendship. Marriage is a play that is played according to the script of the Great Romance. This flower, whatever you call it, should have a distinct sweet smell.

Ballet is not a waltz. The moon is not the sun. A companion is not a spouse.

"Be a Servant Leader"

Surely one aspect of this is absolutely right: Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life for many (Mark 10:45). That a husband should be like Jesus in such selfless sacrifice is without question or footnote. Being a servant leader is great advice when both words are next to each other.

Often, however, this is not the case. Paradox servant leader in some minds it simply turns into servant: You sacrifice your beliefs for any and all of her ambitions. You take upon yourself her calling not because of exceptional circumstances, but only because you wanted to direct your aspirations to her. You coddle her, never ask her to do anything that she does not yet want to do, even if you think it would be better for her perfect joy in the Lord.

The benevolent (un)servant leader, in a sincere attempt to love and serve his wife well, resigns his own authority, which undermines his calling to be a husband and to be responsible, to take initiative, and to feel the burden of difficult decisions.

Instead of this term, I prefer another option - sacrificial leadership: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and betrayed himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25). This is leadership that - while not abdicating its responsibility or apologizing for its power - sees leadership as a calling to one's own personal discomfort, primarily for the good of one's family and neighbor.

“Marriage is when it’s 50/50”

Marriage, especially for a man, is not 50/50. Masculinity doesn't require him to scratch your back before you scratch hers. Headship doesn't keep score. You don't go as far as that point over there, and no further until it catches up with you. You do not limit your patience, kindness, gentleness and goodness until it is equal. A husband's love does not endure everything, believes everything, hopes everything, covers everything. only in half the cases. Husbands don't wait for retaliation before they start.

Jesus did not wait for His bride to meet Him halfway. His wife did not even accept half the scourging or half the cross. He, the courageous He, sacrificed everything for her well-being - while she was still a sinner. He gave His whole life for her. There is no 50/50 here. And sacrificial leadership is so happy in this love of Christ that we give our lives like Him—even when it does not “completely do its part.”

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church. We don't bring home a salary expecting our wife and children to take 50% of it. Marriages that start out 50/50 often end up 50/50—sharing half of their assets upon divorce.

Be who you really are

“We're talking about you. Why do you want
So that I change my nature
And became softer? You better wish
I must be what I am" (Shakespeare, Coriolanus)

Our feminist-influenced, Bible-ignoring, leadership-shaming society wants real men to be gentler. They want you to become passive. They want you to remain silent.

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But God instructs you to speak, to sacrifice, to crush the heads of snakes. He calls you to be true to the nature He gave you and to be the man you are. And this man is not timid, not bashful, not weak in faith: “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be courageous steadfast" (1 Corinthians 16:13).

The question that cannot be asked of this man is, “How can I get my husband to be less passive?” This man, as described by Clive Lewis, is the first to go into battle and the last to retreat. For the sake of truth and honor, he “enters quickly and suffers for a long time.” God is calling you to become more and more of that man and giving you the strength to be that man when you feel weak. So rise up, be strong in the true power and example of Jesus Christ. For the sake of your King, your wife and your future generations.