I. Teacher's opening speech.

Teacher. Hello guys!

Today we have a very important lesson topic, interesting and relevant for each of you.

Define the word “Forgiveness” (in groups)

Let's compare your definition with the definition of Ozhegov and Dahl.

In S. Ozhegov’s “Explanatory Dictionary of the Russian Language,” the word “forgive” is deciphered as “to excuse, not to blame, to release from any obligation.” And in V. Dahl’s dictionary “to forgive is to make simple from sin, guilt, debt; to release from an obligation, to have mercy.”

Guys, please tell me who we usually forgive? (those who offended us)

Teacher. Is there anyone among us who has ever been offended by someone? Raise your hands please... (Usually everyone raises their hands.)

Let's name the feelings we experience when we are offended.

Participants' responses (everyone answers in a circle):– Anger, irritation, resentment, pain, rage, desire for revenge.

Teacher. A person fights with the offender even in his thoughts, spending physical and intellectual energy on it.

Is there anyone among us who has never offended anyone? (children's answers)

Yes, everyone has had the experience of offending someone and being offended by someone. Sometimes, for the sake of fun and entertainment, we can offend or insult a person with a careless word or a bad joke, without even noticing it.

We have already forgotten about our fun, but the person continues to suffer and acquires complexes.

II. Discussion in groups.

I suggest you consider the situation and discuss it in a group: a student reads (a story) “One adult recalled with regret such an incident from his life. Teenagers can be very cruel. A newcomer came to our class. I think his name was Andrey. His front teeth were large and protruded slightly forward. Because of this, he looked like an animal. I immediately came up with a nickname for him. “Hey, gopher,” I told him, what hole did you come out of? Everyone laughed together. I was pleased with what seemed to me to be a successful joke. Everyone started laughing and calling him Gopher. It seemed that Andrei took this joke calmly, he even giggled a couple of times along with everyone else. But then suddenly his chin began to shake, he jumped up and ran out of the classroom in tears. I didn't see him again. It was only much later that I realized how bad I had done. And how offended Andrei really was.”

How did Andrey feel?

Do you often give each other nicknames at school?

Have you ever wondered how a person feels who has physical defects or an unattractive appearance? He feels bad enough without it, he’s already worried.

Teacher. But what about those cases when, after a conflict accompanied by resentment, aggression, and a desire for revenge, you have to live next to the offender, study with him in the same class? What if this person is your brother or sister, father or mother?

Participants. We need to improve relationships.

Teacher. Can any human act always be forgiven?

Participants' responses (everyone answers in a circle):

And the Bible says that one must be able to forgive, and that revenge is one of the deadly sins.

In Rus', for a long time, there has been a holiday called Forgiveness Sunday. This is the last day of Maslenitsa. On this day in ancient times, people went to church and asked God for forgiveness for their sins, bad deeds and mistakes that did not allow people to live in peace and harmony with people and with themselves. In recent years, the old tradition of celebrating Forgiveness Resurrection has become an integral part of our lives. On this day you can hear a phone call and the words from the receiver: “Forgive me!” You can see a person on the threshold of your house whom you did not expect to see at all: “Forgive me!” - Certainly. We are all humans. But it is human nature to make mistakes; anything can happen in life.

III. Summarizing.

Sometimes it is easy to forgive each other, and sometimes it is very difficult; resentment gnaws at a person, poisons life, and does not allow people to communicate freely. The sun of goodness and warmth goes out in your soul, black clouds of loneliness float in, and only anger and resentment towards yourself, the offender, and the whole world remain with you. A person, being in such a state, cannot work well, study, or benefit people. How to get out of this state? What will help?

Game “Human Feelings”

Guys, here is a list of different human feelings (list on the board). Choose from them those that prevent us from forgiving, and write them down on your dark pieces of paper. Now tear them into small pieces, destroy them, and put the pieces in my box so that your Anger and Resentment will go away.

And on the prepared green leaves and flowers, write feelings that will help you forgive and ask for forgiveness. Attach these leaves to our tree. You see, it blossomed without Anger and Resentment.

(the guys are decorating the tree, slow, quiet, beautiful music is playing in the background)

The teacher asks everyone to hold hands and feel the warmth emanating from everyone.

Teacher. I want to give each of those present here today an angel as a symbol of purity and holiness. This is not just a toy, but a sign that will remind you of North's words:

“Forgiveness is not a denial of one’s own rightness in judgment, but an attempt to look at the offender with compassion, mercy, love, at a time when it seemed that he should be deprived of the right to them.”

Thank you guys for your active participation. Goodbye!

Decency	Annoyance
Aggression	Kindness
Love	Irritation
Respect	Anger
Interest	Contempt
Hatred	Resentment
Envy	Cordiality
Hatred	Love
Understanding	Indifference
Joy	Jealousy
Fear	Happiness
Success	Inspiration

It's easy to feel resentment towards someone who has hurt you. But what's the best way to put everything in place? What kind of revenge, served cold, are you thinking about?

You are offended and it is unpleasant.

You want to take it out on the person who offended you. This is a natural reaction from anger and resentment that causes pain.

You don't want to be bullied. It seems unfair and you don't want it to go too far.

You want to be respected.

You worry about the negative consequences of your revenge.

So why not do what, at first glance, seems right?

Several arguments why revenge is not a good idea

1. Revenge won't make you feel better. The principle of “an eye for an eye” will leave the whole world blind. You will only dive to a deeper and deeper level, falling into a vicious circle of negative feelings.
2. Revenge spoils. You want to lash out at the person because you resent them, but by doing so, you will also offend them. Your relationship will deteriorate. You can refer to the fact that “he started it first,” but in this way you also make your contribution. You can say that you don’t care - you don’t want to be in a relationship with a person who is capable of hurting you, and you’d be right. Just make sure that you are not saying this in a fit of anger, but that you are calm enough to make a rational assessment of the situation.
3. You allow yourself to give in to the first impulse and fear. The desire for revenge is not the desire for a better way out of the situation. This is a reaction, an impulse born of anger. It leads to impulsive decisions and problems such as distraction, procrastination, internet or video game addiction. Instead, it is better to develop the habit of pausing, allowing the fear to subside and considering what would truly be the best way out of the situation. We should not allow ourselves to get caught up in our own ideas about what this person has done for us and how wrong he is.
4. Revenge will not make people respect you more. Taking it out on people when you're angry or afraid is not the way to earn their respect. On the contrary, they will respect you less if your principle is “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” And they may want to spend less time with you. However, people who deal with problems with maturity, balance, equanimity and compassion command respect.
5. You won't become the best version of yourself. Although at first, that same impulse will create the desire to become something more than you are. In fact, what we can become is, of course, compassionate. She forgives and does not act on the first impulse of anger. This is not easy, and therefore we should not set ourselves the goal of achieving the ideal - it is only a guide on how to act when we are able to look at things with awareness.

So if retribution isn't a good idea, then what is?

A more humane approach

The compassionate method is better because:

• You become the best version of yourself.
• It helps you.
• You earn the respect of others by being more mature.
• It helps your relationship.
• It is an act of kindness towards another person who is obviously struggling.
• It makes the world a better place with every new good relationship.

You may not agree with these statements, but this approach works better.

1. Take a break instead of acting on impulse. Note to yourself that you are ready to lash out at a person in fear and anger. Breathe deeply. Take a time out. Think before you act.
2. Focus on your physical sensations. When you are angry or afraid, the belief rings in your head: “People are doing me wrong!” Instead of dwelling on the story, bring your attention to how it physically feels in your body. Where is this sensation located - in the chest, stomach, neck, face? What physical sensations can you notice? Stay with these sensations for as long as possible, returning to them as soon as you notice that you are again starting to repeat in your head “Why do people behave this way?”
3. Broaden your perspective to see where the challenges lie. Once you stop focusing on the arguments in your head, you will be able to understand the other person’s position. Did he have a hard day? Is he going through any difficulties? Feeling afraid or angry? This perspective will allow you to feel compassion for the person because of the situation they find themselves in.
4. Ask: What can you do to support yourself and the other person? Is this a heart-to-heart conversation? Is it ending a relationship that is hurting both of you? Is it bringing in a “third party” to help resolve the conflict? Is it listening to complaints? There are many options, try to consider those that do not come from your anger or fear, but from compassion.
5. What can you do to start respecting yourself more? There is no need to become “easy prey” for people who step over you. Compassion does not mean a lack of self-confidence - rather, the opposite. Often you need to first take measures to protect, or at least stand up for yourself, so that you will not be offended. It is not very compassionate towards yourself to remain silent when you are hurt. But at the same time, you will be able to respect yourself more if you clarify your problems in a softer form. Or set your personal boundaries firmly, but without anger.
6. How can you show love to another person? This could be an opportunity to listen, give a hug, show you care. But it can also be letting go if your relationship isn't making them happy. Or creating a temporary space for the person to cool down a bit (and you too). There are many options, and the best one will be the one that leaves room for love and self-respect.

None of this is easy. But it’s also not easy when escalating retaliation destroys relationships, and it’s not easy to deal with resentment and anger at yourself. Compassion is not easier to achieve, but it is worth the effort - it will bring more happiness to each side of the conflict.

Each of us has found ourselves in this position—victims of cruel or unfair treatment—and we wanted “revenge.” I hope these moments are mostly left in childhood, and as we grow older we leave them behind.

But it doesn't always happen this way. Sometimes our grievances are so deep that deep down we want our “offenders” to suffer the same way we suffered. We want to see that they "got what they deserved" and even hope that the words "what goes around comes around" applies to our enemies. We believe that evil should befall the evildoers like justice.

There are countless stories, books and films about a poor cowboy (or insert any other hero here) who in the end finds the one who killed his brother (father, sometimes mother) and takes revenge on him with pleasure. Only then, we think, can the injured party breathe easy.

There's just one problem: this doesn't happen in real life.

Back in the 1960s, psychologists conducted studies showing that people who were able to take revenge on an offender did not actually end up feeling better. This happens because revenge increases aggression. While we scroll through our heads and grind the injustice that happened, its size seems larger and larger. We take care of our wound until it spreads throughout the body and infects it.

Experts also noted that revenge can create a vicious circle. Inevitably, the person you're taking revenge on doesn't think it's proportionate at all - you've clearly gone overboard with the punishment, it turned out to be much greater than the "crime" itself, and now he believes that he must do something to balance the scales. And so on until, as Gandhi said, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”

Psychologists have also found that people don't feel any better when criminals finally die. Family members of the bombing victims remain as grief-stricken as before. And the more they think about revenge, the worse they feel. They may say, “I'm glad he got what he deserved,” but there is no peace or joy in their description of how they feel. In those moments when they are alone with themselves, they still suffer. They are still crying. "Revenge" does not bring the desired results. Wishing death or suffering for another only makes you like your enemy. And, deep down, this does not bring joy and satisfaction.

People stuck in a teenager's mentality may feel that settling scores will somehow preserve your honor and show the world that you won't back down easily. This will make it clear to others that “he who jokes with the bull will fall on its horns.” But this aggressive, distrustful, ready-to-fight attitude does not bring deep and lasting happiness.

In her book: The Power of Forgiveness: Why Revenge Doesn't Satisfy, Judith Orloff says, “Forgiveness is the act of mercifully letting go of the desire to punish someone or yourself for a crime.” And while it is natural to feel anger, “revenge makes you worse; it puts you on the same level as those evil people we claim to despise. In addition, studies have shown that revenge increases stress and undermines health and immunity. Of course, if someone hits you with a stick, you will want to fight back, which is grounds for war. In order to grow personally, and as a human race, we must resist this unpredictable desire for revenge, and strive to correct the situation in a more positive way. This is not a show of weakness; it is simply a refusal to act in the habitual destructive way that deprives all peace. As Confucius said: “Before you take the path of revenge, dig two graves.”

This doesn't mean we stay in abusive relationships or let addicts ruin us. Obviously, we will act to protect ourselves. But in our hearts we must act as Jesus Christ instructed and turn the other cheek. We may seek to understand how horribly this person was raised, or what severe traumas he must have experienced that made him so cruel. Often pity can take the place of resentment.

If we cannot find a path to forgiveness, we are essentially allowing the evildoer to continue to poison our lives. As President Henry B. Eyring said:

“We must forgive in order to be forgiven. To wait for others to repent so that we can forgive them and repent is to allow them to choose for us a delay that could cost us happiness here and in eternity.”

If we choose a better path, we can then invest that energy into positive growth, into filling our lives with things that truly bring us joy. It's hard, but like many hard things, it's worth it.

Instead of giving in to the suffering of the victim, we can turn our backs on injustice. We can refuse to turn a parody into a tragedy.

In the great 6th chapter of the Gospel of Luke, where Christ teaches us to turn the other cheek and be merciful, He says: “But to those who hear, I say: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you” (from Luke 6:27-28).

A ray of sun breaks through the tightly drawn curtains, it’s time to get up. The homeland is waiting. A day is like a day, ordinary, like thousands of days that have already passed and thousands of days yet to come. The wife is still sleeping, or pretending to be asleep, she just doesn’t want to show signs of active life. Okay, I won’t wake you up, let him continue to pretend. The usual procedure for morning exercise, brushing your teeth, tidying up your hair and other small but important actions. Through the sound of the water, I heard my wife walk into the kitchen, the kettle whistled, and the apartment was filled with the smell of coffee.

Good morning, dear, is a light kiss that does not allow you to use it to the detriment of business and take an unscheduled day off instead of work. – The space for self-expression is free.
I head to the kitchen, from where the aroma of freshly brewed coffee spreads in waves, against the backdrop of the gloomy smell of an apartment waking up from sleep.

A cry comes from the bathroom:
- How many times can I tell you to close the tube of your toothpaste, I don’t use yours, I have women’s.
Damn, I forgot to close it again.

Take it and close it, why start the morning again with the distribution of responsibilities. Is it really not possible to just do something for me, without discussion? - I'm tired of these nagging. If she says anything else, I’ll put this cap in her.....

The coffee is somehow disgusting today, or disgusting is now supposed to be written, what am I demonstrating today: intelligence and a high level of education, or demonstrating nothing. I don’t want to tell my wife about this, the day wasn’t going well anyway, or rather I just want to, but I won’t add additional irritants.

I leave the entrance and the driver drives up.

Again the car's rims are dirty. No matter how many times I talk about this, I will tell my driver.
“The sink is under repair, I didn’t have time,” he answers. - While you are in the office, I will go to the nearest one and wash it.
- Let's go to the office. We're late, let's do it within the limits of what is permissible and possible - quickly.

The city, as always, is clogged with cars, so the limits of what is possible are very limited.

Be careful, you cut the car on the right and it flew into a large puddle. This is the General's MERCEDES! Where are you looking? Don't you know the General's car? Let's hurry up, maybe they didn't have time to look at our number, otherwise I'll have more problems that day.

The working day has begun. Secretary Svetochka enters:
- The General asked you to come in.
- Why didn’t he call himself, what was his mood?
- Angry as hell, someone drove him into a puddle on the way to work, a gray MERCEDES, like yours.
- Didn’t he remember the number?
- His secretary says no, I don’t remember.

I am greeted by a gloomy General, nervously pushing a half-smoked cigarette into an ashtray.
“What happened,” I ask.
- Some idiot cut me off on the way to work, my driver crashed into a puddle. Gray MERCEDES, like yours. How did you get to work today? Not along Mytnaya?
“No, of course, I was driving along Leninsky,” I thought.
- Okay, let's start working. I gave you an order a month ago to find a new supplier, did you fulfill it? Will you all finally work or will you pretend to work? Olga, where is the coffee? Twenty minutes ago I told you to do it! What a day.

It began... An ordinary day, of which there are many, is no worse or better than other days.
Or maybe it was worth returning to the bathroom, kissing your wife behind the ear, as she loves, and closing the cap of the toothpaste yourself?
- Sorry, dear, I forgot to close it again.

Or she could just as easily do it herself.
Revenge or forgive? How to choose from the available options, which is easier?

An unscrewed cap of toothpaste, as an irritant object, gives rise to the spread of two waves of negative mental energy from one apartment in a big city; after all, the hero’s wife also went out into the city as a result. How many such apartments are there in the city and how many such caps, which become the last straw, the fall of which on the surface of the water - generates the spread of waves in all directions. And there is also the interference of waves, as a law of physics that describes their addition. As a result, a few unscrewed caps - and the city is ready to stop from the surge of irritation and the desire to pass this irritation on, get rid of it, get relief and restore balance. If there is still a city outside the apartment, then outside the city there is nothing. There is, of course, a country, but the city has no direct connection with the country, there is only a communication connection, and the wave will definitely take advantage of it, but it will take more time. Therefore, the wave is “reflected” from the walls of the city and goes in the opposite direction. Covers everyone who got rid of irritation by passing it on to their neighbor a second time and everything repeats again....

Any unextinguished wave propagates not according to the laws of psychology, but according to the laws of physics.

In Soviet times, it was always customary to consider extreme options for any situation, for example: what if he was carrying cartridges or - what if there was a war tomorrow.... Imagine: one unscrewed cap in the hands of the wife of a nuclear power plant operator or the head of a ballistic missile calculation - and the planet is under threat of destruction. Horror..., it’s good that there is no longer an attitude: what if there’s a war tomorrow... Or maybe they just started telling wives where their husbands work? And then - secret physicists, secret chemists...

The form of communication between the Count of Monte Cristo and his offenders is revenge, a term that no one doubts. An unscrewed cap of toothpaste - it needs something, or an exclamation in line: you weren’t standing here. How to indicate a response? Revenge too? Does the scale of the intended consequences affect the terminology? If the consequences are catastrophic for the offender, is this revenge; if they are insignificant, is this not yet revenge or no longer revenge? Most likely, in all cases, this is revenge, and there is no need to invent anything: inflicting physical or mental harm as a response to what was received. Is it possible to convince a person not to take revenge on his offenders? Yes, of course, just like not killing them. For this there are 10 commandments: “thou shalt not kill”, “thou shalt not steal”...., there is no prohibition on revenge. Therefore, there is nothing to keep a person from taking revenge. This is his personal choice. We have to wait for Moses' next trip to the mountain and the receipt of an additional 11th commandment.

And yet, what to do with the psychic energy of an irritating nature received verbally or non-verbally, causing a feeling of resentment, without considering the causes and mechanisms of its occurrence?

Option one: transmit it back to the source, having previously amplified it. Guided by the principle: if you were offended, what prevents you from taking revenge and offending the offender in return - a sacred matter. Of course, we are not talking about passions on the level of the Count of Monte Cristo and responses that destroy the life of the offender. It is quite enough to answer the phrase “tighten the cap”: “I could screw it myself” - the ball is already on the field of the one who launched it. And then the verbal ping-pong begins. The one who answers last, or who answers stronger, wins. If the forces turn out to be equal, both will lose and will go looking for weaker players on the side.

Option two: do not transfer it back, dissolve it in yourself. Oh, how difficult it is to screw the cap on yourself if you’ve already told others 10 times that it needs to be screwed on. Or, having heard it for the 11th time - come, kiss your wife behind the ear and wrap her up - forgive such a minor offense as a phrase spoken with irritation.

What is easier – to repel the “blow” of psychic energy, or to dissolve it in oneself? Or not one or the other, but find a third way: let the blow pass you by? But how?

This is not aikido, you cannot direct the force of an enemy’s blow against him, as a rule, a “fight to the death” is not with a real “distant” enemy, but with a “near” ally who is temporarily on the enemy’s side.

Dissolve the blow in yourself? Health is not ironclad if you do this hourly. Where can I get the strength for this, not to mention where can I get the rules for performing such a technique? "Thou shalt not kill"? So no one was going to kill anyone, the situation is simpler - who will tighten the cap?

Maybe the apartment door has a key, a computer, a network connection. On your avatar - a photo of a small nocturnal animal with large eyes bulging with fear, instead of a last name and first name - an arbitrary phrase, and go ahead, comment on posts, distribute the negative energy received during the day in waves coming from bosses, people who are physically stronger, from everyone to whom it is impossible to transfer her back. And in the net - who will catch me? Here I am an elusive avenger, I will bring everyone to clean water, I will explain to everyone where the crayfish spend the winter and Kuzka’s mother spends the night. But what peace will come as a result.... grace... And tomorrow back to work and all over again.

What are you tapping on the keyboard right now?
Another comment: “That’s why I don’t like the discoverers of banal Americas, there is no practical use or help from them, they’re just snot.” Maybe it's not worth it? This is clearly not the third, but the first way.

What if he still carried cartridges?