Varied sex life. How to diversify your intimate life in marriage

Christmas

During which the spouses feel devastated and lose interest in each other.

If this issue is not resolved, there is a risk of divorce.

Psychologists are often asked the question: how to diversify family life. They give some tips on how make relationships more interesting, complete and in harmony.

Why does family life become monotonous?

Experts in family life psychology say that marriage is like work: Spouses follow some rules.

Only instead of money they receive love, care and support.

However, in order to always feel comfortable next to your loved one, you need to work hard. It is necessary to come to terms with certain character traits and find a compromise.

If spouses stop paying attention to each other, giving love, family life becomes monotonous. People who love each other cease to feel euphoria when they are close to each other.

If earlier they tried to do something nice, gave gifts, treated each other tenderly, then later they began to pay much less attention to this. As a result, the marriage becomes gloomy and loses its bright colors.

Reasons for monotony family life are the following:


Family life becomes a routine if the spouses don't surprise each other with anything, they are not trying to please.

Attention, care, gifts and surprises can save a marriage, and family life will sparkle with bright colors again.

How can newlyweds spice up their marriage?

Young people are very active strive to experience new sensations, quickly without any bright moments in life.

That is why there should be a lot of variety in the marriage of young people.

We must not forget about intimate life. You should purchase erotic costumes, sex toys, and learn the basics of erotic massage. This will also help make family life more diverse.

How to refresh family relationships if you have children?

If there are children in the marriage, The responsibility of spouses increases significantly.

It is necessary to take care not only of yourself, but also of.

IN routine of daily duties It's very easy to lose interest in your significant other. However, there are methods to solve the problem.

Family life will become more varied if spouses and their children go for a walk, a picnic, a hike, or attend a festive event.

It is better to divide family responsibilities equally so that both spouses take part in childcare. Sometimes you can perform responsibilities together.

For example, the two of you can bathe a child together, cook food for him together, and tell him a bedtime story together. This will diversify and unite family ties.

This will allow you to better understand each other, will amuse both of you and will definitely not let you get bored. Main- do not criticize your partner, be able to laugh at yourself.

If your spouse does something wrong, you should correct him gently, but not shout. This method was created to have fun and joke with each other.

At least once a week should send children to their grandmothers, grandfathers or leave with a nanny.

This is required so that the spouses can be alone, go to a restaurant, have a romantic evening, devoting themselves to each other.

They will feel close to each other, they will be able take a break from everyday duties.

How to diversify your intimate sphere?

A vibrant sex life full of pleasure can not only diversify, but also

“AiF” turned to experts: how to overcome boredom in the marriage bed.

Seducing doctor

Anna G., Moscow

If children are at home all the time, today you can easily rent a hotel for two to three hours, advises the famous sexologist Alexander Poleev.- In general, the paradox of marital boredom is interesting: it develops in families where people love each other! Where quarrels are frequent, sexual relations are often quite good. They are fueled by scandals. As a rule, sexual boredom is a man's lot. For him, his usual partner becomes unattractive: you have been together for a long time, decide different things together and, as a result, become more brother and sister than lovers. If a husband and wife want to maintain an intimate life, it should be varied.

My wife and I have been together for 10 years, everything is fine, but then we go to bed, and... there is no light.

E.A., Grodno

Try to diversify the positions, advises the sexologist. - Three or four new positions are often enough to refresh the relationship. Of course, going to a sex shop will also help. But we are talking about diversifying your intimate life for a long time, and not for a couple of weeks. If we are talking about marriage “age” 10-12 years or more, we cannot do without sexual games. A very good game of lovers is when you secretly meet in a hotel. Or “doctor - patient”: the doctor listens to a half-naked woman with a phonendoscope, trying to get her to succumb to his sexual impulse and give herself up. Almost all men have such fantasies. And women often secretly dream of charming a doctor with their body. To enhance the effect, buy a medical gown, etc.

Another option is a prostitute and her client. When turning into a “call girl”, do not wear the clothes you wear to the movies, but buy an appropriate outfit. And the husband must pay his wife real money! What's good about this game? Many men fantasize about a prostitute, but... On the one hand, we want her, young and slender, to come and serve. On the other hand, having sex with a woman who does this with everyone who pays is, in general, not very interesting for us... I know couples in which, after such games of “prostitute - client”, the wife receives money and goes to spend the night with to a friend. And the man has a complete feeling: a call girl came to him.

Third wheel

I persuade my wife to invite a third person to our place for the night, but my wife - not at all.

Andrey, Ryazan

“It’s an illusion that this is how you can freshen up sex in marriage,” I’m sure psychologist Anetta Orlova.- After such a trio, it turns out that the reaction to each other remained the same, but a feeling of resentment was added. I had a client who could not forgive her husband not even for the fact that he was with someone else, but for the fact that he agreed to give her to someone else... Belonging is very important for a woman. And when her husband “squanders” her, this is the highest insult for her.

I love oral sex, but my wife agrees to it with such reluctance...

Evgeniy P., Vidnoye

For most men, oral sex is very important, says Alexander Poleev. - Both psychologically and physically. We quickly lose testosterone, and by the age of 30 we already need some extra affection in order to function better. Some people tolerate the absence of oral sex calmly. And someone thinks: I’m trying for the family, but my wife can’t respond with simple oral sex?!

The reluctance to engage in oral sex is associated either with upbringing attitudes or with some negative history in the past, says Orlova. - For example, the mother said to the girl: “Only vicious women can do this...”

I ask my wife for sex on the windowsill or the washing machine. And my wife is holding back, saying she’s gotten fat...

E. Sh., Nizhny Novgorod

Shyness, timidity, and low self-esteem arise due to dissatisfaction with oneself, says the psychologist. - These are sex killers. But when a woman starts playing sports, her body becomes harmonized and she is much more willing to have sex. And my husband likes it better. If you want to develop sexuality, Arabic and Latin American dances, which trigger the work of the small pelvis, will be very helpful.

It’s also important to travel together to refresh your relationship. Departures for two or three days are a great way to get rid of problems and feel 100 percent like a woman and a man. It's just you and me. And pleasure.

After several years of marriage, sex leaves the marital bed. Most often, the reason for this is simple laziness and boredom. Diversity has a beneficial effect on the development of relationships, being an important component.

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Even the most loving couple, after three years of marriage, begins to experience an intimate crisis. Sexual intercourse becomes a habit and turns into a tedious chore. Spouses do not have enough thrills, they get bogged down in everyday problems, household chores and routine, which only aggravates the current state of affairs. In such a situation, it is necessary to take action and rehabilitate sexual relationships.

The worst enemies of sex in marriage

It is quite possible to return passion to a relationship, awaken faded feelings, give each other pleasure and save the marriage; for this you need to make an effort, put aside modesty and show imagination.

Sexual desire does not disappear just like that; most often it is preceded by several reasons.

Causes

Description

Fear and shame

In polite society it is not customary to talk about sex. This topic is considered taboo and shameful. Talking about the intimate side of life has not been encouraged since childhood. Therefore, a person, having entered adulthood, tries not to be frank even with his sexual partner. Instead of openly discussing their desires and problems with their spouse, the couple avoids talking about taboo topics, slowly moving away from each other.

Many people tend to be embarrassed by their erotic fantasies and body imperfections. This makes it difficult to fully relax and enjoy sexual relationships.

High or low expectations

Some people avoid intimate relationships for fear of not meeting their partner's expectations. Some are waiting for the other to show initiative, others are looking for the right moment. There are also couples who hope that attraction will flare up on its own.

There is only one way out of this situation - to talk openly with your partner. Each spouse must understand that the other person does not have the ability to read minds and predict desires. You need to discuss problems in a normal and calm tone, avoiding criticism, reproaches and mutual accusations

Lack of trust in partner

In the early stages of a relationship, each new date offers hope for developing trust. Some experienced couples, on the contrary, for some reason develop distrust in their partner. This happens if the spouse has been caught in a lie, or quarrels and conflicts constantly arise in the couple. Lack of trust affects intimate relationships. This problem is solved by open discussion of issues of concern. Frank conversation can work wonders

Body tightness

Most often this problem affects women. Most representatives of the fairer sex have high demands on their appearance. During sex, they think more about the imperfections of their body than about pleasure.

Negative emotions have the ability to accumulate in the body, so a woman cannot relax and enjoy the process. The sexual partner senses her condition, and his activity decreases. Relaxation techniques, meditation and massage will help you cope with the problem. To learn to enjoy sex, it is important to relax and unwind

How to diversify sex in marriage: a list of the best ideas

According to psychologists, a rich sex life is the basis of family well-being . Sex is the best way to strengthen relationships.

The following tips will help you diversify intimacy with your loved one at home. The recommendations are universal and can be applied by both women and men.

An effective exercise: sharing erotic fantasies

Psychologists strongly recommend that experienced couples practice this simple but effective method. Spouses feel dissatisfaction in the intimate sphere most often because they cannot make their erotic fantasies come true.

A man is embarrassed to discuss this topic with his wife, fearing that the woman will not understand his preferences in bed. It is this factor that in most cases influences betrayal of a loved one. A woman thinks that confessing her erotic dreams to her lover is shameful and indecent. As a result, both partners are left unsatisfied.

Sexologists recommend using an exercise: in a romantic setting, after drinking a glass of wine, spouses should write down their sexual desires on pieces of paper. Once the lists are ready, the partners will exchange them. The woman reads the man’s erotic fantasies and marks with a pencil those that she, for some reason, cannot fulfill. The husband does the same. When only those fantasies that both partners accept are left on the lists, you can begin to turn fantasies into reality.

The exercise is very effective. Couples who put it into practice notice enormous changes in their relationships within 1-2 weeks.

Planning your intimate life

Psychologists recommend that couples who have begun to cool off mutually begin to plan their sex life. This does not mean that you need to give up spontaneous intimacy. Unexpected sex is useful, it can strengthen the relationship between partners. The problem is that after several years of marriage, desire is replaced by habit, and intimacy occurs less and less often.

Many married couples benefit from planning sex. The preparation process itself sets you up for the right wave. It is important for spouses to learn to speak openly with each other. After partners have figured out the sexual preferences of the other half, they can begin to carefully plan their time together. A couple of days before intimacy, you should discuss: where it will happen, when, in what outfit, what kind of surroundings will be needed, etc. The conversation itself will bring pleasure to the man and woman; they will look forward to the appointed time.

During the day, when intimacy is planned for the evening, partners can exchange messages of erotic content. A woman can send her husband photos of herself in underwear. This will further inflame his interest. To enhance the effect, sexologists recommend that a girl change her hairstyle, makeup or perfume.

Travel or change of scenery

Nothing kills sexual desire more than monotony, everyday life, routine and boredom. To awaken dormant feelings and add bright colors to your intimate life, psychologists advise going on a trip together for at least a couple of days. And if this is not possible, then it is recommended to simply change the situation.

If a couple is used to having sex in their own bed in the missionary position, then they should move to the kitchen, bathroom, car, hotel room. Enter into an intimate relationship in the country, in the lap of nature, in an elevator, and so on. New emotions and thrills experienced together will fuel interest in each other.

Role-playing games

Transformation is a great way to add variety to family life. You can purchase an erotic costume in a specialized store. Some women create a sexy outfit on their own, using their imagination. You can agree on role-playing games with your partner in advance, discussing all the details, or arrange a surprise for your loved one.

A costume for a maid, a nurse, a flight attendant, a policeman, a teacher, a schoolgirl - the choice is varied. If a woman knows about her lover’s erotic fantasies, it won’t be difficult for her to arrange a luxurious night for him. A man can also surprise his woman by playing a role that is unusual for him.

Use of erotic games and toys

Toys for adults will help diversify intimacy and add thrills. A woman can start with vaginal balls. These accessories help develop intimate muscles. Attributes for anal play, all kinds of attachments, lubricants provide wide scope for imagination. The main thing is not to be shy. A couple can visit a sex shop or online store together.

Recently, the erotic game for adults “Fanta” has become extremely popular. On the shelves of specialized stores there are a huge variety of its options: both for beginners and for already advanced couples. The cards contain erotic tasks that the partner must complete. Failure to comply with the rules will result in appropriate punishment.

The game is very exciting and can spark sexual interest even among spouses with an impressive amount of experience in family life.

Reading the Kama Sutra together and watching erotic films

Many men watch erotic films secretly from their wives. Women, in turn, are biased towards this. Sexologists advise couples who want to diversify their intimate life to watch erotic films together.

This turns both partners on and helps them understand each other's preferences. What you see can be immediately tested in practice. Then intimate life will become interesting to both partners.

Reading an illustrated ancient treatise on love inflames passion in spouses. A couple can come up with a new family tradition - for example, read the Kama Sutra weekly, and then immediately try new positions.

Shared hobby

Engaging in a common cause brings sexual partners closer together. For spouses who have begun to grow cold towards each other, psychologists recommend finding something to do together. This could be couples dancing, playing sports, cooking dinner and much more.

Common emotions in a positive format, experiences and novelty have a beneficial effect on physiological attraction to each other.

The effect of surprise

Experiments in bed have helped many couples improve their relationships. When intimate intimacy becomes boring, becomes insipid and ordinary, it is necessary to introduce a portion of novelty and thrill into the union. You can do this as follows:

  • Join your lover in the shower.
  • Sit on a man's lap in a skirt without underwear while he watches TV.
  • In the morning, please your partner with oral sex. A man who wakes up from an unforgettable experience will spend the entire day thinking only about his wife and how they will spend the upcoming evening, which turns into a passionate night.
  • Periodically sleep naked. Sexologists advise women to sleep naked from time to time.

Solve this problem how to spice up your sex life It’s not difficult if the love and affection for each other remains. With the right goal setting, the zest can be returned to the relationship. The main reason for the loss of brightness in sex between spouses is the appearance of laziness. The other half does not make any claims; out of habit, he accepts the routine and everyday life of family life. As a result, there are:

  • The tendency is not to take care of clothes and hairstyle at home.
  • Reluctance to diversify your leisure time with your spouse (this concept should include not only rest, but also regular conversation, taking a shower or bath, cooking food).
  • Loss of desire to vary the characteristics of physical contact.
  • Lack of initiative in bed.

How to diversify your sex life by adjusting your appearance

You don't have to wear a bunch of jewelry and get a unique manicure. Will it look unnatural in appearance? You need to know the basic rules in choosing clothes and accessories, not counting costumes for role-playing games:

  • Be well-groomed, but dressed with taste (without excesses in emphasizing sexuality or modesty).
  • Use household items, for example, a silk robe, velor peignoir or a warm fleece suit that emphasizes your figure.
  • Pay attention to additions to your appearance (transparent, nude or light pink nail polish (you can use medicinal); simple and comfortable, but elegant hairstyle; jewelry given by your spouse).

Under your clothes you should wear sexy but comfortable underwear. The main thing is that it is new. Nothing makes a woman look better than a fresh set of underwear.

Furnishings, accessories

In addition to appearance, you need to pay attention to the home environment:

  • Aphrodisiac aromas (bergamot, clove, jasmine, ginger, cedar, cypress). The main thing is not to overdo it!
  • Food and drinks. A romantic dinner aimed at sex should be light (fruit, some natural chocolate, cheese).
  • Massage technique, then smoothly move on to kissing the body. A woman who has lived with a man for many years should definitely know the erogenous zones of her partner.

You can use aromatic components in different ways:

  1. Preparing the bath.
  2. Using essential oil for massage.
  3. Using an aroma lamp.


Straight Talk

If you can’t hint to your spouse through your actions about the need to make your sex life more vibrant, then a simple conversation can improve the situation. Misunderstandings often arise because people are afraid to talk frankly with each other. You should carefully explain your personal preferences to your partner. If you want to try something new, then first you need to figure out whether it will suit your partner.

Games, including role-playing

through role-playing games? Not everyone can afford expensive costumes, for example, nurses, maids, schoolgirls, etc. Sometimes it is enough to buy a blindfold to heighten the feeling. Another option is to decorate your body with food (berries, whipped cream, etc.). Here you need to focus on the gastronomic tastes of your spouse.

For classic role-playing games, you need to spend money: you can look for costumes on the Internet or in sex shops. The reaction will follow immediately when the husband sees his wife in a new image. No experiments with too extreme images if your partner is a supporter of an elegant appearance.

Nutrition

Many people know that oysters are a good aphrodisiac, but they are not a common food (available to everyone). It is better to use more accessible components of the diet: onions and garlic, fruits (pomegranate, figs, kiwi, mango), as well as nuts and chocolate.

It should be noted that any spicy food promotes sexual arousal by increasing blood circulation in the genitals. Green tea is not an aphrodisiac, but it improves heart rate and supports the body through its antioxidant properties.

Everything constant and monotonous becomes boring over time, and intimate relationships with a regular partner are no exception. There comes a time when once ardent feelings turn into routine, relationships become insipid and uninteresting. What to do in this case? How to diversify your intimate family life with your husband, how to regain passion and former interest?

Almost all sexologists suggest starting to experiment. Add a little madness, former romance, passion, and intrigue to the sexual sphere. To do this, you need to use your imagination and try to use erotic role-playing games. They will be able to bring the necessary variety to the sexual relationships of the spouses, giving them novelty and intrigue. Trying on this or that role, spouses can fantasize and destroy their stereotypes. It's like you're having sex with someone else, cheating without cheating.

I offer you several similar “classic” role-playing games. You can start with them, but then, as your imagination and passion develop, you yourself can come up with a game that will become the most exciting for your couple. The main thing is that the desire to do this is mutual. To do this, discuss all aspects of the game with your partner.

Maid and Guest

If you don't really like having sex with your beloved on the kitchen table or washing machine, but want some variety, try playing as a sexy maid and a rich hotel guest. You need to dress up in a very short robe, preferably black, and a small white apron. Be sure to wear stockings and high heels. It's better to do without underwear. Your partner, posing as a rich businessman, should dress more impressively and “order” champagne to your room. This is the bottle you ordered and you will have to bring it as erotically as possible. Next, act out the scene according to the circumstances, use your imagination. Flirt with him, play with a fluffy dust brush, make the bed.

Nurse and Hospital Patient

It’s no secret that men love to flirt with young, attractive nurses. Therefore, your beloved will surely like this game. Since you will be pretending to be a nurse, wear a short white robe, with the top buttons unbuttoned. Stockings and high heels are required.

For this role, you can sew a white cap or tie your hair with a white scarf. For this game you will need inventory. Buy bandages and a set of plasters at the pharmacy. It's good to have an enema and a stethoscope. This is where you show all your power. Let your partner lie on the bed, and you begin to “treat” him. Circumstances will tell you how to proceed.

These two games will definitely help make your sex life richer with your husband. In addition to these two role-playing games, you can play as a teacher and a school principal, a robber and a victim, a boss and a subordinate, a taxi driver and a passenger. Very interesting games are made with military uniforms. You can also imagine yourself as a movie star and your partner as a fan. There are a lot of options. You just need to choose the most exciting plot for your couple. If you want a stormy family life, fantasize, improvise, show your sexuality.

But most importantly, take it easy, it's just a game! All its points can be discussed together. Even if nothing special happens the first time, you will just relax together, laugh and throw off the burden of worries. Well, in the future it will turn out better and better.

In addition to role-playing games, there are other ways to bring back former passionate feelings. Remember how you used to love your partner’s body, how you explored all its corners, gently touching your fingers. Try to do this again, perhaps you will discover some new erogenous zones.

Give your loved one an erotic massage. After seductive, gentle stroking or passionate hugs, he will probably want a continuation that will end in a stormy night of love.

It may very well be that the time has come to change your appearance. Perhaps you need to change your hairstyle. If you have had the same haircut or hairstyle for a long time, get a new haircut and give your hair a different, interesting shape.

Get your home in perfect order and enjoy a delicious dinner. Prepare something tasty for your loved one, but not heavy, otherwise after a hearty dinner he will simply fall asleep. Buy a bottle of light wine, light some candles. Get yourself in order, put on a beautiful translucent robe.

During dinner, leave for a minute and take off your underwear and leave your robe on. For a romantic dinner for two, you can rent a nice hotel room for the whole night. Crystal, candles, a jacuzzi or a swimming pool will put your man in a romantic state. Your efforts will not go unnoticed.

Don't be afraid to change your image, style, hairstyle. Throw away your old robes and pajamas. Buy new feminine negligees and light translucent nightgowns or lingerie.

Sign up for a spa, go to the pool. You will put your body in order, relax, and rest. Men like such a woman much more than a tired, tortured wife who is constantly dissatisfied with life.

Together with your beloved, you can start attending erotic massage courses. Then, at home, you can repeat the lessons, experimenting on each other. This is a great way to diversify your family life, bring back your old passion and get new unforgettable experiences. I wish you success!