The attitude of classmates towards each other. How to help your child improve relationships with classmates

Position in the team.“Methodology for assessing the psychological atmosphere in a team (according to A. Filler)” helped to reveal that the atmosphere in the class is friendly and warm; Students’ joint work is successful and productive. Many of Sonya's classmates respect her and recognize her as a leader.

Attitude towards teachers. Sonya is a sociable girl and carries out all the tasks that her teachers entrust to her conscientiously and in a timely manner. The student will be happy to help distribute notebooks, write the date and topic of the lesson on the board, erase them from the board, and make a report. Shows respect to all teachers. It is clear that he values ​​the opinion of each of them. Sonya tries to continue communicating with the teacher outside of class hours. The teachers love and respect the girl.

Attitude towards classmates. Sofia enjoys going to school and interacting with her classmates. The schoolgirl called Alexander Frolov, Valeria Shishova, Mikhail Kitaev, Irina Chernyaeva, Victoria Mirgorodskaya her friends. It can be noted that Sonya is friends with gifted and enthusiastic children. Sonya communicates with her classmates outside of school. For example, in 2014, a girl and her classmates celebrated her birthday.

Sofia has conflicts with Ilya Petrov. Both students are intellectually developed, and both have strong leadership qualities and organizational abilities. On top of everything else, the guys are sitting in close proximity, on the same row. Ilya believes that he is much more erudite than Sonya, that only a male representative can be a true leader. Against this background, a conflict cannot but arise.

Sofia’s relationship with Andrei Polyakov is not entirely warm. This young man studies poorly, distracts other students from gaining knowledge: he throws rags in class, takes textbooks from his classmates, talks loudly, in other words, violates discipline. Sonya loves to study, so she does not understand the reasons for her classmate’s behavior; she makes comments to Andrey, to which he either does not react or reacts, but inadequately.

Conclusion: the atmosphere in grade 7 “B” is generally friendly and warm; Sonya shows respect to all teachers; maintains friendly relations with many of his classmates and enjoys a certain authority; Conflicts with classmates arise infrequently; the girl is able to resolve them.

Conclusions. Stepanova Sofia is a versatile personality (she loves sports, music, art, chemistry). The schoolgirl is an extrovert, sociable person, has leadership qualities and organizational skills. Sonya is responsible and polite towards elders, peers, and teachers.

Sonya has adequate self-esteem and a realistic level of aspirations. The main motives of educational activities: self-development, knowledge, achievements.

The schoolgirl has a well-developed visual memory, especially visual memory, and good speed of thinking. Speech is quite developed (for this age).

Disadvantages: insufficient concentration of attention, use of slang in speech, some egocentrism.

Recommendations: The first thing that can be advised to a girl is to continue to improve her visual memory, to develop it. This will help her achieve great success in her studies and work. Secondly, Sonya’s parents and relatives need to support the girl’s leadership qualities, help and guide her on a personal level. Third, read more fiction and watch teachers speak. With the help of this, the schoolgirl will be able to make her speech even better and richer. Fourth, focus on developing attention.

Unfortunately, not every child in the school team develops friendly relations with classmates, and this problem of a psychological nature does not depend on the age of the children. It happens that children do not perceive some students in the class, starting from the elementary level, but most often the relationship becomes more complicated in adolescence. The child, being an outcast in the team, withdraws into himself, is reluctant to go to lessons, becomes aggressive, touchy, and is easily offended by what seems to be the most harmless phrase.

Reasons for poor relationships with classmates

It cannot be said that problems at school with classmates are the cause of improper upbringing, even though it is the parents who influence the formation of the child’s character and teach him how to interact with society by their example. Often, difficult relationships with peers can be a consequence of individual characteristics. According to psychologists, children rejected by the team in most cases themselves become the reason for becoming victims of attacks. They easily succumb to the negative influence of classmates (words, actions), giving the expected reaction. If it is difficult to offend a child, to evoke his emotions, then it is unlikely that his peers will “cling to” him.

It also happens that bad relationships with classmates become a consequence of the fact that the child does not know how to communicate, he is withdrawn, silent, avoids dialogue, and tries to stay apart. Most likely, it has to do with his family situation, the difficult relationships between his parents. Friendship with peers is also hampered by the inability to communicate, as well as ignorance of basic rules of behavior. For example, if a child is tense, unfriendly, rarely smiles and does not take the initiative to communicate, it is unlikely that anyone will want to be friends with him.

In other words, rejected children do not know how to comprehend their actions, manage their emotions, or make the right decision on what to do in a given difficult situation. They are very vulnerable and vulnerable. Any peer who utters a rude word against such a child immediately becomes his enemy, and, on the contrary, a classmate who provides him with the slightest help or support becomes his best friend in his thoughts. In turn, the one who provided this support does not even suspect it, not considering his act heroic and surprised at how grateful his comrade, rejected by everyone, is to him. It has been noticed that children who do not know how to find contact with peers try to find support among teachers by complaining about their offenders.

How to help your child solve problems at school with classmates

It is unlikely that children who are difficult to communicate will be able to correct themselves and find a common language with their classmates. Therefore, adults, namely parents and teachers, should come to the rescue.

At a parent meeting, the class teacher holds a conversation about how to help a child find a friend, overcome shyness and overcome internal fear of others. Advice from teachers can be very effective.

Parents do not always have an idea of ​​how their son or daughter’s days at school go, how relationships develop in the team, and often do not know that their child is experiencing difficulties. If there are some oddities in his behavior, he rarely or does not bring friends to the house at all, does not talk about his school life, about his classmates, and generally behaves withdrawn, it is worth talking to the class teacher and finding out if everything is okay. You can attend lessons, see how the child behaves with other children, whether he communicates with them. If there are signs that he is uncomfortable at school, parents will have to worry about how to help the child improve relationships with classmates.

Signs that a student is being rejected:

• attends school without much enthusiasm, tries to find a reason to avoid lessons;
• comes home from school in a bad mood;
• reacts very painfully to criticism and rudeness;
• does not mention his classmates in conversations with parents, or speaks about them in a negative way;
• does not bring friends, does not call anyone, even to ask for homework;
• no one invites him to visit or calls him either.

These signs indicate that the child has problems at school with classmates, which means that the student needs to be helped, because ridicule from peers can lead to serious psychological illnesses.

Solving problems with classmates is not an easy task, but you need to direct all your efforts to solve it, since the future fate of the emerging personality, its success and well-being will depend on this. A person spends his entire life in society, this is another reason why it is important to teach a child how to behave with others. At school, the psychologist and class teacher decide how to help the child improve relationships with classmates, trying to involve parents in this problem.

How to improve relationships with classmates at 13, 14 and 15 years old

What can parents do? From an early age, explain to your son or daughter that a smile and friendliness attract people, so you need to try to behave friendly and smile more often. You shouldn’t be harsh and rude, but at the same time it is important to respect and love yourself, then others will treat you with respect.

In addition, parents can invite their child’s school friends to visit. It is useful to talk, using your own experience as an example, about what problems may lie in wait in childhood and how to resolve them. There is no need to prohibit showing emotions, even negative ones, because emotionality is what will help you establish correct relationships with people, live life to the fullest, be happy and indignant. A good result will come from a discussion between parents and their child about the causes of conflict situations with peers, as well as finding ways to resolve or prevent them.

When thinking about how to improve relationships with classmates, it cannot be ruled out that it will take a long time to deal with the problem; you may even have to transfer the child to another school if his stay within the walls of this institution leads to frequent conflicts with others. Moreover, it often happens that children themselves choose their victims among those who are vulnerable.

Many parents, trying to take the solution to problems with classmates into their own hands, go to school to deal with the child’s offenders, but this cannot be done, since this will only aggravate the situation; children will continue to harm, only on the sly. It is best to raise this issue at a parent-teacher meeting, or teach the child to independently resolve difficult situations, certainly supporting him and helping with advice. With a favorable family climate, a successful, self-confident personality is formed. Knowing that he is loved, understood and supported at home, the student endures life’s difficulties more easily and adapts more quickly to the social environment.

If a child is instilled with such qualities as sociability, kindness, friendliness, and responsiveness from an early age, he will most likely not be faced with the question of how to establish relationships with classmates at the age of 13, 14, and 15. Parents need to be the right example for their son or daughter and always show how to behave with people around you.

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How your relationships with your peers develop largely depends on you. Of course, your knowledge and skills, your appearance, and sense of humor will always be important to create authority. But the ability to behave, be tactful and attentive with others is still perhaps the most important. You can be able and know a lot, but if you don’t learn how to communicate with people, they won’t want to listen to you or admire your achievements.

There can be no insignificant details in communication. Every person at any age enjoys communicating with a polite, well-mannered and helpful person.

It is ugly, for example, to look into the notebook of your desk neighbor without permission. You cannot read other people's letters or personal diaries. It is rude to stand behind someone who is working on a computer.

Even if there is nothing secret in a written letter (on paper or on a computer), not everyone likes to have someone read words intended for another person.

For some reason, some guys do not call each other by their names when communicating, but come up with various nicknames for their classmates. Most often, school nicknames are formed, of course, from the surname. For example, Skvortsov, Stepanov, Belov, Frolov and Morozov automatically become simply Skvorts, Styopa, Bely, Frol and Moroz at school. Some guys are proud of their nickname, while others are completely indifferent to what they are called.

But there are many impressionable and shy children who are painfully worried and even suffer from such treatment and are very ashamed of their nickname. It even happens that from such suffering and grief they have nervous breakdowns. There are often cases when offensive nicknames and difficult relationships with peers become the cause of stuttering. And some myopic guys refuse to wear glasses for the sole reason that they will be teased as bespectacled or nerdy.

It doesn’t even occur to many kids that their classmate is worried and crying because of the nickname given to him.

Of course, only very stupid and evil people take pleasure in hurting others. Most often, guys do this not out of malice. But before you give someone a nickname, remember that a person has a name. For each of us, a name means a lot. Parents chose it for a long time, hoping that it would bring their child good luck in life. It is ugly and impolite to call your friends by their last name or replace their first name with a stupid or offensive nickname.

In order for you to have good relationships with friends and classmates, pay attention to these tips.

Rules for communicating with classmates

Show attention to your friends and classmates, try not to let your words and actions offend them;

Never laugh at people's physical disabilities;

Always and in everything help the younger and weaker;

Do not forget to thank for the service rendered to you;

Don’t come up with offensive nicknames for anyone;

If you yourself suffer from a nickname that has become attached to you, do not respond to it; maybe then your offender will remember your name;

If a friend lent you something, give it back to him within the promised time, without waiting for him to remind you of it;

Always keep the promises you make;

Never promise what you cannot deliver;

Treasure your word: your friends should know that they can rely on you in everything, that you always keep your word;

Always be precise: inaccuracy is primarily impolite;

Never eavesdrop on other people's conversations or read other people's letters;

Never show disrespect, insolence, impudence, rudeness or rudeness towards people.

School is a place where one learns and gains knowledge. Yes, you can't argue with that. But everything is not limited only to lessons, teachers and homework. You spend most of your time at school and, whether you like it or not, you have to communicate with a variety of people - your classmates and classmates.

It's great if the class is friendly and the guys treat each other well. However, you yourself know: no matter how good the relationships in the class are, quarrels, showdowns and conflicts cannot be avoided. Besides, there will always be a few students who are disliked. They don’t make friends or even communicate with them, and if they do talk, it all comes down to teasing in order to offend or touch a nerve. Being rejected is something you wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Who becomes the outcast? Why does this happen and what to do if you are one of them?

Are outcasts a stigma for your entire school life?

The family accepts you for who you are. Your parents love you not for anything, but simply because you exist. Of course, you are used to being treated with love.

But at school everything is different. A class is a group that you need to join. And if you are somehow different from others, then you risk being counted among these very outcasts. Stupid nicknames are used, which are awarded to those who somehow stand out from the main mass: momma's daughter, crammer, fool, fat, crazy, sneak... Read the next section carefully. Perhaps among the listed types of outcasts you will find someone you know. Or even yourself.

Fool, jester, clown...

Sometimes seemingly harmless nicknames stick so much that the person is no longer called by name. Few people like to be called a fool. Of course, you can call that annoying Ivanov, who constantly pulls your pigtails or brazenly cheats on tests. Ivanov, most likely, will not pay attention. But if the nickname “fool” has firmly stuck to one of your classmates, you can only sympathize with him. Surely in your class there is a kind of clown who, during the teacher’s explanation, makes faces, grimaces and imitates his manner of speaking. Everyone laughs out loud at the fool's antics, but this is only during lessons. And as soon as the bell rings, the clown is bypassed, and he remains in splendid isolation. Why? Yes, because no one wants to be the friend of a fool! No one will even talk to a fool, let alone be friends... Nevertheless, the fool himself would be happy to communicate, but he just doesn’t know how to attract attention to himself. So it turns out that maybe someone will regret it, but no one will stoop to friendship with a fool.

Psycho

It is unlikely that anyone in the class will be friends with a person who is called a psycho. And who would want to communicate with someone who has absolutely no self-control? Crazy people often throw notebooks and books in a fit of anger, and if they receive a reprimand from a teacher or a bad grade, they may burst into tears or, on the contrary, loudly slam the door and run out of the classroom. You never know what a crazy person will do at one time or another. That is why no one will be friends with a psycho - you never know what comes into his head this time!

Crammed

The one thing my classmates really don’t like is the crammer. The attitude towards these guys is initially negative. Although, it would seem, they go to school in order to gain knowledge. Then why are crammers not held in high esteem? Who, who, and they know everything perfectly well!

They know, but they are in no hurry to share their knowledge. The cram raises his hand when no one in the class knows the answer to the teacher’s question; during breaks he does not part with his textbooks, and spends all his free time doing homework. But try copying from him during a test! The crammer will say with a smart look: “I should have taught it at home!”

Naturally, after this, the desire to ask about anything disappears completely. And no one will communicate with an arrogant person, that’s for sure.

Suck up

A sucker is practically no different from a bison. He also constantly holds out his hand when no one knows the answer, he also sits with books, and also does not let you copy. The only difference is that the suckers are much worse at cramming. They are always trying to please the teachers, constantly ingratiating themselves and informing on others. If there is a student in your class who is a suck-up, he will probably be disliked. Although they don’t like me - that’s putting it mildly! It’s sickening to watch how the sycophant smiles ingratiatingly while helping to carry a heavy teacher’s bag or slipping another chocolate bar onto the teacher’s desk. Be friends with a scammer, a sneak and a suck-up? It’s unlikely that anyone would stoop to such a thing!

Sissy

Those who are overprotected by their parents (especially grandmother or mother) are teased in the classroom as mama's boys or daughters. They like to humiliate and offend such guys, but not openly, but on the sly. Of course: as soon as a mother’s boy runs to complain about his harmful classmates, who then get the full punishment. Even if mama's boys are not openly teased, few people agree to be friends with them.

How to avoid becoming an outcast

What to do if you recognize yourself in one of the listed types of outcasts?

Maybe you yourself don’t understand why you have brought the discontent of others upon yourself? It seems like she hasn’t done anything bad to anyone, but as a result there are no friends in the class. It’s good if your classmates treat you neutrally and indifferently, but there may be cases of bullying, beatings and even worse.

At school there is a set of unwritten rules that you must follow in order to be respected. Don't know how to behave? Here you will find a list of what you need to do while studying at school.

- Be responsive and cordial. There are many people in this world who deserve sympathy. Take pity on a stray dog ​​who was wronged by hooligans, a classmate who was undeservedly scolded, a penniless beggar. If you truly empathize with those around you, people will be drawn to you and respect you.

- Be kind. No matter how trivial it may sound, kindness has never hurt anyone. Help your friends when they need it. Don’t be greedy, treat your seatmate with an apple, lend money for travel, give a classmate a textbook or a pen if he forgot them at home. Be generous, but don't fawn, and you will never be considered greedy or a suck-up!

- Remember: there are no sinless people. Everyone has their flaws, and if you are friends with a person, accept them for who they are. Don't try to change your best friend, don't judge your friend for inattention and absent-mindedness. Each person is unique - agree, if everyone were correct and ideal, life would become very boring!

- Be honest with others. People appreciate sincerity, so don't be afraid to tell the truth. Classmates are unlikely to believe you, knowing that you constantly lie to your parents or teachers. After all, this means that you can deceive them with the same ease! Nobody wants to communicate with a dishonest person.

However, there are situations when it is very difficult to make a choice. On the one hand, it is in the interests of the class to tell a lie to an adult: if your lie can save a classmate from reprisal (even if he deserves punishment), peers will regard the lie as a good deed. But if you tell the truth, you may be considered a traitor. On the other hand, you should never remain silent if someone is being bullied.

What to do if you don’t want to lie, but telling the truth is not an option? In this case, it is best to remain silent. Then you won't betray your friend. However, the choice is yours. You yourself must decide who is important to you - a friend or someone else.

- Don’t give free rein to your emotions! Hysterics and tears do not make anyone happy. You are not a little girl to cry over failures. Sometimes it is better to remain silent and walk away proudly than to show your weakness. Then, at least, no one will have a reason to call you a crybaby or a hysteric.

— Responsibility is an excellent quality. Always keep your word! Remember: there is nothing worse than broken promises. It's better not to take on a task if you can't complete it.

Take a responsible approach to your school responsibilities. Don't shirk tasks if you don't want to appear irresponsible and unable to make decisions!

— Be decisive and courageous, always achieve your goal, even if it is difficult. Be responsible for your actions: if you make a mistake, you should correct it, not mom or dad.

- Keep the secrets entrusted to you. Don’t stoop to gossip, only vile people, cowards and hypocrites, and even grandmas at the entrance, slander and gossip. If you are dissatisfied with a person's actions, tell him so to his face! You're not a coward to talk bad things about a person behind his back, are you? Don't betray your friends: betrayal is not forgiven!

- If you have any beliefs, don’t change them twenty times a day. Consistency in views is an important quality! But don't be too serious either. Learn to approach your problems with humor, because you remember that laughter is the best medicine! Learn to laugh at yourself. After all, this is an art that not everyone masters. If you treat yourself with humor, it kills any desire to tease and ridicule you. What's the point in laughing at a person who can laugh at himself? Still, don’t let yourself become a laughing stock for the class.

If you're an outcast

But what if, despite all your efforts and efforts, your classmates do not accept you? If they are not just indifferent and indifferent to you, but mock you, or, even worse, stoop to bullying and beating?

Here are our tips if this concerns you.

- Don’t despair and don’t panic! There is nothing worse than panic; as you know, it has sunk ships. It is best to seek help from adults. But these must be people who are able to listen to you, understand you and take concrete measures. The bullying and beatings must stop! If your offenders simply hear the condescending “don’t offend others, it’s bad,” it’s unlikely to have an effect on them. The result will almost certainly be exactly the opposite: the beatings will not stop, but will begin with redoubled force, and, on top of that, you will also be dubbed an informer.

— When talking about the reasons for bullying, try to understand what caused it. If you really did something that offended or set your peers up, tell them honestly about it. One way or another, everything secret will become clear, so your objectivity and fairness will only benefit you now.

❧ Do you remember how in Victor Dragunsky’s story Denisk poured semolina porridge on the head of an unsuspecting passerby? After all, no one listened to the unfortunate child, who was disgusted with such food; from a victim, he immediately turned into a liar.

- If you are bullied at school, do not despair. Find a line of behavior for yourself that will help stop bullying. Why is there bullying in the classroom? Yes, because just studying is boring, so you need to entertain yourself with something! How? Catch the victim in an offense that shows him from an unfavorable side, and begin to persecute him on a “legal” basis! It’s fun, the lessons fly by, and what else do you need for happiness?

Moreover, resistance leads to nothing. The victim will be immediately reminded of what she has done and for what she will be punished. In this case, the severity of the punishment significantly exceeds the seriousness of the offense. The excuse has been found, you can mock at full force! And in fact, bullying cannot be called anything other than bullying. A well-mannered person will never stoop to such baseness, and don’t allow yourself to be bullied!

If you realize that you have become a victim of bullying, immediately seek help from an adult. Don't be afraid to say that you are being bullied. Sometimes the only solution is to move to another school. Remember: asking for this is not cowardice or an attempt to escape from difficulties! If you don't want to live in constant fear of your classmates and become a downtrodden victim, this is the best option.

But if moving to another school is not possible, you need to show courage and determination. Never show your offenders that you are hurt and offended, otherwise they will redouble their efforts and begin to turn your life into hell. In this case, you can try to become indifferent to bullying. Deprive offenders of the pleasure of seeing you suffer. Don't pay any attention to them.

But silence is not an option; it can be perceived as a sign of weakness. If your things are taken away, resolutely demand them back; if you are beaten, hit back, don’t be afraid to fight back! Perhaps if bullies see that the victim can show his teeth, the pleasure of persecution will disappear and the bullying will stop.

If everything is to no avail and the bullying not only does not stop, but can already cause serious harm to your physical and mental health, do not be afraid to seek justice! Contact the police, the press, those who can really help you. Sometimes this is the only way out. Remember: you are a person who should be respected, and don’t let anyone bully you!