“We would like two children in our family: a boy and a girl! A nursery for two: how to please everyone without quarrels and tears. What was the most difficult thing over the years.

Once upon a time, Svetlana and Nikolai Korotkov were successful farmers in the Krasnodar region. They managed a huge peasant farm. They grew grain, sunflowers, watermelons, and ran a store. But the tragic event, which divided the family’s life into “before” and “after,” called into question the usual way of life. The Korotkovs decided to change everything: they thought about helping orphans and in nine years they managed to take twelve children from a state-owned house! Today, in the “Adoptive Family Diary” section, there is a story by Svetlana Korotkova.

Our children

“It was always noisy in our house: we were used to the hubbub of children. When our natural children were growing up - Sergei, Natasha and Vanya - friends often came to them to play. We organized children's parties, and there was enough room for everyone in the spacious house. But the children grew up, moved to other cities and, as they say, the nest was empty... And then something terrible happened. Two weeks before my daughter Natasha’s wedding, my nephews Alyosha and Alena, who grew up with our children, died in a car accident. It was very difficult to go through such grief, we all wondered: “Why did this happen to us?” These experiences led us to the conclusion that we needed to radically change our lives, choose a new path... And we decided to take a boy and a girl from the orphanage. So in July 2009 we became a foster family. And today we have three natural and twelve adopted children.

Twins and their sisters

“It all started like everyone else: we collected documents and received a conclusion from the Guardianship department that we could take two children into our family. But for some reason it immediately happened that we were always offered to take more children than we had originally planned.

When we first arrived at the orphanage, they told us: “There is a boy and a girl - Vladik and Nastya - twins (they were 10 years old). Just the way you need it! True, they have a sister, Vika (she’s 11). I looked at them and immediately realized: these are our children. Later it turned out that there was another older sister - 16-year-old Christina. She herself did not come to us, but she agreed to transfer the younger ones to the family.

Now they are all adults, they live separately, but they visit us regularly. Christina and I have also kept in touch all these years. She is married and has two children. With the help of the “Complicity in Fate” fund, we are helping her get the housing required by law.”

Son from Moscow

“A year and a half later, my friend also decided to become a foster mother. And, nervous about meeting the children, she asked to go to the orphanage with her. To Moscow. There we found another son for ourselves. Ruslan was ten years old. He was shown on the program “While Everyone is Home,” but for some reason this did not cause the usual influx of candidates for guardians. And his peers began to tease the boy. The management of the orphanage invited us to meet him. A friend dreamed of daughters and refused. And I felt sorry for the guy, and I agreed to take a look. Ruslan was writing a test. The teacher called him out of class under a false pretext, and I talked to him. He, of course, guessed that “he was being watched.” And I quickly called my husband: “Kolya, there’s such a boy!” Maybe we can take it? My husband didn’t mind, and soon we took Ruslan home forever.”

“Maybe a couple more?”

“Four school-age children from an orphanage are not an easy burden for a foster family. But we are well prepared. There were no schools for foster parents everywhere at that time, but we already had one in Krasnodar! Four months before receiving the conclusion about the possibility of being a foster family, we studied - not for show, for real. We were taught by psychologists, doctors, teachers, and Guardianship staff. And Guardianship was a friend, assistant, and adviser for us. We could call them on their cell phones almost any time, they came, talked to the children, advised us... They were happy with how we were coping. And after a while they began to hint that it would be nice for us to take a couple more children.

Adaptation for our guys was relatively calm. Only one of the girls had what is called “difficulties,” while the other three grew up without any special problems. So a year later we decided to have two more children. Once again, documents were drawn up for the boy and girl. But this time it took a long time to find suitable ones. Some were even taken on a visit for a day, but it didn’t work out. We were very worried, but I think it’s better to refuse at the very beginning than to live with a child who feels “not yours.” You have to love the child, you have to communicate with him every day. And it will be very difficult if the soul does not lie.”

Four... and four

“Children of suitable age were found in the Stavropol region. We showed the Guardianship and the management of the orphanage our documents, where it was written in black and white: “two children.” We are sitting, waiting to meet the guys. They come in. Four! We are shocked... And when the children left, we asked: “Are these brothers and sisters?” They answer us: “No, they are just friends.” We explain: “We have documents for two! We already have four at home.” And they: “No problem, we’ll quickly re-register everything... Well, or choose one of them.” We left in confusion and decided not to take anyone. But the orphanage began calling regularly: “The children liked you. They are waiting for you! Haven't you thought of it? We thought and thought and thought. This is how Natasha (14 years old), Vova (11), Ilya (10) and Dima (6) appeared in our family.”

Closer to children

“In 2011, we decided to move closer to Moscow. The children were growing up, and the nearest colleges and institutes were 125 km from our house. I didn’t want to repeat the experience of teaching natural children who were forced to live in dormitories and rented housing away from their parents. In addition, the elders - Sergei and Natalya - and their families already lived in Moscow. So we moved to the village of Klenovo (now the Troitsky administrative district of Moscow). For several subsequent years, my husband Nikolai continued to support part of the farm in the Krasnodar region. But I did not break ties with the orphanage; I managed to find foster families for many of the children from there. One day they called me and asked me to help place Anechka (10 years old) into a family. But when we met, we decided that we would take this girl with us. By this time, our four eldest adopted children had already become adults, received separate housing, moved, and our house again became noticeably quieter... You will laugh, but we again issued documents for a boy and a girl. And, as according to the script, in the orphanage they brought three of us to meet at once! They were Borya (10 years old), Diana (9) and Polina (8).”

Fellowship of Foster Families

“In the Krasnodar region we had a very strong community of foster parents; mutual assistance and moral support in our business are very important. And when we moved to Klenovo, we started looking to see if there was something similar nearby. This is how we found the Tverd Foster Families Fellowship in Troitsk. We called director Yuri Petrovich Mironov. He started inviting us to the Besedka club, to seminars and trainings. We met many like-minded people here and made new friends. And when our natural son Ivan got married and also decided to become a foster parent, they recommended him the “Family Circle” SPR, because they already knew all the teachers well and trusted them. To be honest, we dissuaded Vanya. Because he and his wife were still young, their natural child was very small. But we believe that it is more correct to take in adopted children when the natural ones have grown up or at least grown up enough. Because, whatever one may say, foster children need stricter discipline and strict control. But the son understood well what a foster family was and was ready for the difficulties and characteristics of the children from the orphanage. I made up my mind, took three children of different ages at once, raised them, and managed.”

What has been the most difficult thing over the years?

“The most difficult thing was to decide to take the first step, to radically change your life. Part with an established business, sell everything. Few of our relatives and friends understood our decision; the attitude towards foster families in our country is twofold. But we couldn’t do otherwise... Also: when we were just preparing to become foster parents, we were instructed at the ShPR in Krasnodar: “Try not to get too attached to children, set yourself up as if you were going to work.” We couldn’t understand this for a long time, we were indignant: “Well, how can this be? We live with children! How can you not get attached, not love?” And they explained to us: “So that later it won’t be so painful for you to part.” And now I understand what they meant. We will have relationships with some children that will last a lifetime, I’m sure. They consider us mom and dad. But there are also those who do not need this. They leave and never come again. And it really hurts a lot...

We don't like to complain about difficulties. But, of course, anything could happen with adopted children. After the orphanage, even the big ones had to be taught everything. They didn’t know how to make tea, they didn’t know how to make a bed, they couldn’t distinguish between casual and dressy clothes, they were consumers... In adolescence, some of them really frayed our nerves. They started fights, provoked people, tried to get involved in bad company. And we communicated with the police regularly.

Our most difficult child turned out to be Natasha. She and her brother ended up in an orphanage when their mother left the family and their father started drinking. In the orphanage, she saw a different life: clean beds, food every day, entertainment. She loved it there! The removal of the children shook the father, sobered him up; by some miracle he got his life back on track and took the children home. But Natasha was not satisfied with returning to her poor father’s house. And she cruelly slandered her own dad! She beat up her younger brother, went to the police and reported him. The father was sent to prison, and the children returned to the orphanage.

We all learned this when the girl was already living at our house. They handed her over to us, essentially saving her from a correctional school. But within a week she promised to slander us in the same way and destroy our family. Guardianship has repeatedly suggested that we abandon it. And if it weren’t for the support of the Tverd Commonwealth, we would have had a very difficult time. Tverd specialists always came to our aid. They calmed us down, communicated with Natasha, and helped us build relationships with our guardianship. After moving, we had a lot of questions about placing the kids in colleges, about getting housing for them - you could always come to Tverd for advice, sign up for a consultation with a lawyer, the leaders of the Commonwealth often went with us to solve the problems of children.”

A big family is great

“We think that a large family is great. Children help educate each other. We cook together, we clean together, we study homework together. But there must be moderation in everything. Recommended: maximum of eight minor children. And we have always tried to adhere to this rule. Otherwise, it’s impossible to keep track of everyone, you need to hire strangers as assistants, and the “quality of education” drops. Do we want to take more children?.. We have to raise five more younger ones. So it’s unlikely that we’ll be allowed to take more. And in a few years, we are not sure that we will decide to take on new ones ourselves. But if everything depended only on us and if right now... Then we would take it! Two. Boy and girl".

Recorded it Zhanna Moshkova
We thank the Community of Foster Families “Tverd” and the School of Foster Parents “Family Circle” for their assistance in preparing the material.

If this is an infant, then in a dream it indicates anxiety, care, weakness and fatigue from the flattery of the ignorant. And a boy who has reached maturity is good news.

Seeing a healthy baby in a dream means getting rid of life's problems and happy love.

Seeing a sick baby means trouble. Whoever sees that he is holding a child in his arms will acquire property. If a person has a child in a dream, then in reality he will have troubles and worries.

If in a dream you teach a child the Koran or something good, then you will greatly repent of your sins.

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Dream Interpretation - Boy

For a woman to see a boy: to money and more property.

To see boys fighting - your friends may involve you in a dirty business.

Students - to successful and profitable plans.

An adult sees himself as a boy - your actions will look childish in the eyes of respectable people.

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A common nursery for a boy and a girl has many advantages. For example, during their time together, children will establish a strong bond, they will never be afraid to fall asleep and will always have fun playing together. However, decorating a room for two children is doubly difficult, and decorating a nursery for children of different sexes is an even more difficult task, because there is so much to take into account. In this material we will tell you how to zone a common space, come up with a beautiful design, a convenient storage system, and place both study and play areas in the room using 10 tips and 40 photos of beautiful interiors.

1. Make it possible to isolate children from each other

Even the closest people sometimes need privacy, especially if they are a boy and a girl of different ages or teenagers. How can you at least partially realize your children’s dream of having their own room? You can do this using:

• A canopy, or better yet, thick curtains around the perimeter of the bed;
• Furniture, namely shelving or a closet between the beds;
• Curtains or sliding doors in the middle of the room;
• Using a partition screen;
• False walls, for example, made of plasterboard.

These methods of dividing space are good because they allow children to do their own things without disturbing each other. For example, if one person wants to read before bed, then a curtain or partition will prevent the light from the lamp from interfering with the sleep of the other resident.

For examples of the physical separation of a boy’s and a girl’s nursery, see the following selection of photos.

2. Functional beds – 50% success

The bed is the most important and most bulky furniture in a child's bedroom. If the area of ​​the room does not allow for two standard beds, then your best choice is multifunctional beds, such as:

• Bunk beds are almost the only possible option for small rooms.
• Loft beds - although such beds are bulky, they can save space for storing things or placing a study/play area for each child. Essentially, a loft bed is a room within a room.
• Couches, sofas or beds with storage sections so that there is no wasted space under the bed. By the way, it is also better to choose bunk beds with drawers.
• Beds that can be extended as the child grows - such beds are good because they allow you to save space for some time... until the kids grow up. This is an excellent option for arranging a room for growing up or if children are of different ages and heights (then the beds will be the same in design, but different in length).

Below are 10 photos of well-chosen beds and options for placing them in a nursery for children of different sexes (scroll through!).

Tips:

• If you want the interior of the room to create a sense of order, then you should choose not mismatched furniture, but from the same series or simply similar ones.
• If possible, you should order beds in individual sizes - this will help you save space.

3. Decide which way to go - to play up the difference in interests in the interior or to decorate it in a gender neutral way?

Before you start planning the design of a room for a boy and a girl, you need to decide which design option is closer to you and the kids:

• Playing with the idea of ​​the difference between boyish and girlish interests in decoration, color design and decor - this option is good because it will allow you to satisfy the wishes and tastes of both children, give them the opportunity to have... almost their own room and use interesting design techniques.

• Decorate the room so that the furnishings are universal, that is, both boys and girls like them, but without emphasis on gender differences - this method is preferable if you are furnishing the room for growth, if in the future only one person will live in it , and also if the children have a significant age difference.

4. Color is the main zoning tool

Color-coding is the easiest way to give each child their own space in the family room. In addition, color can help in its organization. For example, painting toy storage boxes in, say, pink and blue tones will make the cleaning process more interesting.

But not only traditional pink and blue can make up the color scheme of the interior. The following shades are also suitable:

• To indicate the girl's zone- yellow, orange, coral, red, cream, blue, purple shades;
• To indicate the boy's zone- , turquoise, brown, gray, black, maroon.

See the following photos for examples of color combinations and zoning using color.

5. The girly and boyish parts of the room should match each other and have something in common.

It is important that the designs of both “territories” combine with each other and have something in common. For example, you can furnish a room with the same furniture, but in different colors, or make beds with bed linen with the same pattern, but in different colors, decorate the walls with multi-colored stripes, as in the photo below.

6. Neutral finishes are a win-win backdrop for a colorful room.

To avoid “overload” and balance the diversity of the interior of a boy’s and a girl’s room, it is better to choose wall paint or wallpaper in neutral colors. For example, in white, beige, cream, light blue or light gray. Against such a background, all colors will be appropriate.

7. Personalize your sleeping arrangements

Special attention should be paid to the design of sleeping places in the interior of a nursery for children of different sexes. After all, even the most ordinary room can be easily modified with the help of the right decor of the beds and the space around them. Here are some ideas you can take note:

1. Above each bed, hang decorative letters or the names of their owners;
2. Make your beds with linens of different colors and designs (in the colors you chose in advance);
3. Decorate the headboard of the girl’s bed more brightly and elegantly;
4. For your daughter, you can choose an elegant bedside table, and for your son, a more minimalist one;
5. Decorate the walls above each bed with some special, personalized decor;
6. Rugs near children's beds can also be different.

8. Design the play area as a free area where children can play together

The play area should be such that children can play in it together. For example, here you can

9. Pay attention to the arrangement of study tables

Ideally, a room for two schoolchildren should have two study spaces. Here are tips for arranging them:

• Tables can stand alone, placed in one line or L-shaped.
• In addition, there can be one table, but at the same time a double one, that is, either long or so wide that both residents can study at it.
• To prevent children from being distracted during classes, tables can also be isolated from each other, for example, using tabletop mini-shelves or a rack.
• Speaking of shelves and racks - of course, each child should have personal places to store school supplies, but it is better to make the library common.

• Above every baby's bed.
• On desks.
• Above or near the closet/chest of drawers.

Organizing a nursery for two children and pleasing everyone at the same time is not an easy task. The first one likes one thing, the second one likes something completely different, but what if they are a boy and a girl five years apart? Full guard! What should parents do?

First of all, we focus on the age and gender of the children. The plan for further action depends on these parameters: how to place beds and work tables, do you need to divide the room into zones, put one large closet or two small ones? Let's sort it out in order.

Children 1–3 years apart, same-sex

Perhaps the easiest option for parents. Children of the same gender and approximately the same age. They have similar interests, they spend a lot of time together, often play with common toys or go to the same school. Sometimes their things are the same or slightly different from each other.

It is not necessary to set clear boundaries and divide the nursery into two equal parts. Talk to your children (if they are not very young) and decide on the main colors of the future room. If boys will live in the nursery, then you can decorate it in a nautical style. It is better to zone a room with interior details: for example, lay bedspreads of different shades or buy chairs that differ only in color.

Bed arrangement: a bunk bed is a universal solution. However, a problem may arise: both children will want to spend the night on the second floor. If you don’t want to argue, then two beds standing parallel will do. Of course, this way you won’t save valuable space, but everyone will have a personal bedside table.

(all photos enlarge by click)

Work zone: Both teenagers and young children need a table for creativity or study. Therefore, it is better to place two regular tables or one long table and two comfortable chairs in the room. On each table there will be personal writing materials, drawings, textbooks - this way the children will do without quarrels.

Games and recreation area: For children of the same sex and similar age, a common play area and recreation area is suitable. For example, a round carpet in the center of the room and a soft sofa.

Storage organization: One spacious cabinet with a conventional division of shelves is enough. A good option would be to label each shelf or box so that children do not get confused or conflict.

Children with a difference of 1–3 years, boy and girl

It's a completely different matter when you have a boy and a girl growing up. Even if the age difference is small, they will have completely different interests. A girl needs beautiful dolls, and a boy needs bright cars. They also don’t care about general school matters - until high school, teenagers are in opposing camps. This doesn't mean they aren't friends, they just want things to be different.

Visual division of the room: If you decide that the room should be painted in a single color, then choose something as neutral as possible. Beige, purple, green. Simply put, you can't make a room all pink or blue. The ideal option would be to divide the nursery into two parts, pasting different wallpapers, buying different beds or wardrobes, but on the condition that they will be the same in quality and price.

Bed arrangement: a bunk bed or two beds in parallel, but with a small partition (for example, in the form of a rack). You can place the beds with their headboards facing each other, also with a partition. It’s great if you have the opportunity to place beds in opposite parts of the room, then each child will have their own personal corner.

Work zone: both the boy and the girl need a table and a chair, so, as in the first case, we find space for two work areas.

Games and recreation area: Of course, girls and boys play with different toys, but dividing the play area and the relaxation area into two parts can be quite difficult. Just try to make sure that no one is crowded.

Storage organization: It’s good if each child has his own locker and bedside table. You can order a wardrobe with two identical sections.

Children 4–6 years apart, same sex

The task becomes more complicated - you have two children (a girl and a girl, a boy and a boy), but with a noticeable age difference. One needs to do homework, and the other has toys scattered all over the room. How to make it comfortable for both big and small?

Room zoning: Children have practically no common interests, so it would be correct to divide their “kingdom” into clear zones. The room should be decorated more in an adult style: the older child no longer likes children's ornaments, and the younger one should soon get bored.

Bed arrangement: A bunk bed is a good idea, then the little one sleeps downstairs and the big one sleeps upstairs. If there are two beds, then separate them with a screen or shelving: partitions will save you when it’s time for the youngest to go to bed, and the eldest is finishing his homework or reading a book.

Work zone: Most likely, one child needs more space to study, and the other to play (although perhaps both are already studying). This means that you need to install two tables, but one can have additional shelves for notebooks and textbooks.

Games and recreation area: If the play area is needed only by the younger child, then you need to arrange it so that the games do not interfere with the older child going about his business.

Storage organization: Naturally, children will need separate cabinets and shelves to store clothes, shoes and much more. Don't forget that older people really don't like it when younger people touch or move their things.

Children with a difference of 4–6 years, boy and girl

The most difficult and interesting option, because every child needs a personal space where he can be alone with his thoughts. But how to please two children who live in different worlds?

Visual division of the room: It is best to zone the room into two parts. It’s good if you can make a partition.

Bed arrangement: A bunk bed will do, but it is still better to place the beds in opposite corners of the room.

Working area, hshe games and aboutstorage organization: no matter how many children you have, whether they are boys or girls, everyone wants to have their own table, chair, closet, bedside table, computer and their own toys. Of course, you need to share with your brother or sister, but not all things.

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If in a dream you seem to have a boy, this is a sign of future wealth and comfort in life. If a boy was born to someone else, such a dream foreshadows the emergence of selfish interest in your relations with your closest relatives.

A handsome boy with a sweet, intelligent expression on his face is a sign of extraordinary prosperity, happiness and all kinds of benefits. If your boy got sick in a dream, it means that in reality he will always have good health and an excellent appetite.

Seeing a crying boy means that you will have reasons to worry about the state of your financial affairs. Seeing boys playing predicts an ambivalent situation for you, when to others you will seem better than you really are, but this will not be to your advantage.

A pugnacious, aggressive boy who has offended your child is a sign of impending troubles and an insidious trick that your imaginary friends are preparing for you. Beating or punishing a boy in a dream is a warning in reality to restrain your feelings in a situation where any inaction is better than any action.

To see a boy hit by a car in a dream means that in reality you will experience fear, fright or anxiety for your family members. A dead boy in a dream is a sign of deep sadness.

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Dream Interpretation - Boy

Gypsies say that seeing a little boy is a sure sign of future success, both in business and family life.

If the boy is older and entering adolescence, this is a sign that hard work will bring you great rewards.

If you dreamed of a little boy, this is a sign of great luck; all your business will go well.

If the boy is 13-14 years old, you will have to try, but the reward will not be long in coming.