I'm 14 years old and I want chalk. Helpline

Verunchik (name changed): Hello, Olga... And this is just a child writing to you. I am 14 years old. I'll start all over again...
This summer I met a young man on the Internet. And then we decided to meet. We met. We were pleased to be in each other's company, we talked. But because It was already late, so we went home... He saw me off and said something finally about the Internet, so that I would come to the chat.

The next day I was on the Internet, but it seemed to disappear into the ground. And this happened for several days. Then I finally found him, again on the Internet. Well, we started talking as usual, and as the conversation progresses, it turns out that he loves me. At first I didn’t believe it, I decided to watch him. We went for a walk, and all the time I caught this devouring gaze of passion and the desire to be much closer than 20 cm from me. And I agreed... to be his girlfriend. Although I didn’t love him, I just liked him, and we had A LOT in common, but that’s what I did.

Zhenya came to my house, and my parents made a scandal that he was much older than me (he was 22). I can't forgive them for this. They told him to leave me, still a child, alone. They (the parents) were afraid that a natural instinct would awaken in him, etc. We broke up - he left, and we never met again. I still don’t understand why, I still have a terrible resentment towards my parents, because if it weren’t for them. Although I know you will say that any father or mother would behave this way in such a case, the fact remains a fact. I felt bad, and, probably, like every teenager at my age, I tried to commit suicide, but I couldn’t, they stopped me. I tore up all the photos of my boyfriend when in a chat he suggested that I remain friends, just friends. But I couldn't, and I decided to make myself invisible.

I lived like this for one month. And I can say I've gone bad. My worldview has now changed. I began to use those boys who liked me... The girl with pigtails disappeared - a completely ordinary teenager for our time appeared. I go to discos, dress in short clothes, I was rude to my mother, came late, kissed everyone who wanted it.

And then the other day I find out from Zhenya that he wants me and wanted me even then. But, looking at my age, he can’t afford it and that’s why he stopped everything then. I don’t know how to explain this to you, but I understood why we broke up. And then I decided to return him, no matter the cost. I told him that I wanted him, just as he wanted me (but I said this not out of principle, but because it was so). We spent the day alone at the dacha... He kissed me, I kissed him. We were pleased. But I didn’t let him near my genitals.

So, now the main point of my letter, the question that I wanted to ask. Can I sleep with him? After all, at such a young age, I don’t know how my vagina will react to the penis of an adult man. Please tell us about this. Or should I wait until I'm 15? Well, girls at my age even got pregnant, so it’s nothing scary that it’s so early? And don't try to dissuade me, I already know that I will do it, just tell me.

And one more thing - you probably have a question... why did I want to return everything. This amazed me too. All I know is that I felt bad without him... very bad. But no one knows what love is? And I don't know. I want him.... And I love him. But where did this come from? Please explain this point to me too...

And don’t think that because I’m 14, I have an infantile worldview. I'm all around
they say that I am much older than my peers, both girls and boys. AND
It’s easy for me to communicate with people older than me.

Thank you in advance for your help, I hope it will be useful to me...
goodbye, waiting for your answer...

Hello! If a guy says something like that, that it will be late at 18, then he’s lying! All guys at that age want sex so much that they will woo you until the last moment. Most likely, he told you this for personal experience, as soon as you have a close relationship (in this regard), he will immediately think about how to break up with you as soon as possible... I sincerely ask you, do not do this! I know that you will most likely do this, because girls at that age are too naive, they are ready to do anything for love! But guys at that age dream of winning a lot of girls, for the sake of popularity between the guys, who won how many girls (this is customary among them). My advice to you is not to date guys at such a young age as it can affect your future life. You're not ready for this! You don’t know difficulties, you will be very sorry! Are you ready to take full responsibility on yourself? Are you ready to think about everything in advance? About the consequences for example? What if the guy is imprisoned because you are underage? What if you get pregnant? Are you ready to ruin your life at this age? Please take your time! Think about your future husband! What will you give him on his first wedding night? This is, of course, your personal business, but I warn you that you should be attentive and careful, so as not to bring upon yourself trouble and grief at your current age and in the future! You know, I really want to be in your place. I’ll show you my situation using an example, so that you can learn from other people’s mistakes. When I was 16, a guy fell deeply in love with me. He was simply blown away. He was 23 then and you know, he was so disappointed in life, in girls. He suffered for a very long time, he had girls, but he never had an intimate relationship. Since as soon as he found out that his girlfriend had already slept with someone, disgust for such a girl immediately appeared. And then he met me! And so I was 16 then, he looked after me, although at that time he did not work and his parents did not give him money. So I made a little money. So that's the point. I've never had boyfriends... And he wanted to take advantage of this while I was still innocent and do it as soon as possible. Of course, I resisted, I was afraid, just once, they delayed it for a long time. After all, he also has 1 time. He accompanied me home, constantly afraid that I might get caught by some maniac there. In general, I felt like I was in a fairy tale. So we tried it once on a high 10-floor roof. But nothing worked out, it was too difficult. The second time at his house, it didn’t work out either, I was very afraid. Then 3 times in his entrance, he accidentally reached with his finger and touched something, it hurt a little, then he saw a little blood on his finger. But we didn’t accept it that way at once. And they continued every day. Until he fully penetrated me. And you know, he was very disappointed! Soon I will be 19, and he will be 28, and you know, it seems like no one is to blame, but the depression is severe. Grooming, not grooming, only upon request. He works as a programmer, we have money, but we have nothing in our souls, he says everything is burned out! So take care of yourself! Good luck!

I’m 14 years old and by the time I was a teenager I had reached nothing but rock bottom. I thought about how I live and what needs to be changed and realized that I’m worthless. I’ve never had girlfriends. However, I make acquaintances easily and can create an unprecedented impression of an interesting interlocutor, which does not last more than two weeks, however. I don’t do anything and can’t do anything except draw and sculpt something, I can do it, but I understand that no one needs it. I’m studying I have an average of 3 C's and 9 A's, I want to quickly go somewhere after 9 with a hostel, because there is a big rift with my mother, I'm lazy, there's nothing to talk about with me and I really like to be alone, or rather I need it, and my mother loves to yell and force me to do homework and go shopping with her and even choose clothes and things that I hate. I have a boyfriend, he is more than 8 years older. Yes, I’m 14 and he’s 23, we’ve been together for a year and don’t think that he’s some kind of loser, in general, I myself don’t understand why he’s with me. He is smart, kind, well-mannered, positive and very handsome and is not deprived of the attention of girls 18+. He is poor in terms of money, but I don’t need it, I’m more than happy with him even without him living “like other people”, with us heaven in a hut We hide our relationship from everyone, but my whole family knows about it, they met him and liked him. But what is the point, the problems come from the fact that I lie on my bed all day and feel stupid. I miss school and skip school, I have no friends or girlfriends at all, and besides, I’m a terrible liar about little things. If I start doing something, everything falls out of my hands, and if it doesn’t work out, then I never finish it started. I live like in a tank, I don’t let anyone near me except my boyfriend, and we rarely communicate. I can’t talk to my classmates, I’m a terrible critic and a bore, only my appearance and knowledge in some subjects save me. Everything else about me is very dull and cloudy. And I'm starting to get used to this state. Every day I move away from my family, from society, more and more I manage to remain alone, and by today I have withdrawn, I don’t talk to almost anyone. I used to worry about a lot of things, but now I don’t care about anything and I want to run away somewhere away from everyone, to where there is no one, I have no one left except my boyfriend with whom I can just talk. But he constantly works to somehow live and develop, and we see each other 1-2 times a month, maximum. I'm disgusted with myself. I am a lazy creature who does not strive for anything and just sits on my mother’s neck. Give me advice on how to start acting, how to stop being so withdrawn from everyone and finally get yourself off the couch?

Now we will talk about whether it is possible to have sex at 14 years old. This is a rather sensitive topic.

Every person's sex life consists of three important aspects - emotional, physical and biological. Emotional attraction is passion, tenderness, lust, love. Biological is a way of procreation. Physical is the need to bring bodies closer together. The ideal option is a combination of all three aspects. What is the history of the origin of sex?

Story

Many scientists over the centuries have put forward their theories on this issue. One theory says that during the Early Paleolithic, under matriarchy, males ate what the females brought them. That is, they did not take any part in obtaining food. Their main and only task was to protect the herd. No dwellings were built, since the warm climate made it possible to live in the open air and sleep on a pile of dry branches. There was always enough food for these future people, but mostly vegetarianism flourished.

Then the planet got colder, herds began to settle in caves and learned to make fire. Men began to go out hunting, and women sat all day in caves waiting for food. Patriarchy has replaced matriarchy. In those days, rock paintings showed pictures of a man running after prey or a herd of primates surrounding a mammoth. Copulation took place on an intuitive level. Scientists have been studying the sex lives of common monkeys for many years. Observations have shown that they are far from indiscriminate in their sexual partners. First, each female copulates with the leader of the pack, and only then, after 3 days, she can do this with someone else, so that the offspring will certainly be from the leader.

There is a period in anthropology when, in primitive times, human development abruptly stopped. At this time, there were few males, and the plot of the rock paintings changed. After a series of excavations, archaeologists and scientists suggested that the herd began to engage in group sexual acts. The males began to reluctantly go after prey. The main thing for them was to indulge in group sexual pleasures as quickly and as often as possible.

Everything has changed over the millennia. But one thing has not changed - sexual intercourse remains one of the main human needs.

Talking about sex

An adult has long had an idea of ​​what sex means in his life. But the time comes when you need to explain this to your child. And do it right. The beginning of the child depends on what exactly and how you say it. Regardless of whether your child asks you a question about sex or not, parents still need to start this conversation.

From the age of seven, children, like sponges, begin to absorb all information from the outside, memorize it, and repeat it in their heads several times. Children also begin to form opinions about something based on the points of view of their friends or classmates. Often this opinion is wrong. Therefore, the parent must be ahead of the child’s peers in explaining such a delicate issue. It is important to start by learning about your body, and then convey to your child that sexual intercourse is only part of being a man and being a woman.

Even 20-30 years ago, girls really took care of their honor from a young age. The upbringing was so strict that even a kiss was a secret event for the couple. And most couples entered into sexual relations exclusively after marriage.

Is it possible to have sex at 14?

These days, girls get involved with guys quite early. If earlier it was 16-18 years, now it is on average 14 years. Is it possible for a 14 year old girl to have sex? Let's try to find the answer.

14 years is the time when, for the most part, boys and girls are always accompanied by sexual desires. This is due to the release of hormones in the body that are responsible for sexual desire.

Is it possible to have sex at 14? I would like to note that this is a minor age. We must not forget that this act is punishable by law. Although this stops few people. So is it possible to have sex at 14? Children at this age are more inclined to trust the opinions of friends who promote early sex only from the best side, but in reality teenagers engage in it only because everyone says: “it’s cool.” It is unlikely that both receive true pleasure.

Other reasons

Is it possible for a 14 year old boy to have sex? Better not. There is a great alternative for boys - masturbation.

But is it still possible to have sex at 14? It is advisable to avoid sex during this period. Teenagers at this age rarely take contraception, but the number of children treated by venereologists is growing noticeably. They cause colossal harm to their body - first having sex, then getting a sexually transmitted disease, and then treating it. And all this falls on the still unformed growing organism. At the same time, the girl may not get pleasure, but she can easily get pregnant. Again, this is stressful, regardless of whether she has an abortion or gives birth.

Psychologists' opinion

According to psychologists and doctors, most teenagers at the age of 14 begin sexual activity out of fear of appearing not mature enough to their friends, which means they will no longer be respected. Early sex often results in severe depression later on.

Parents should pay maximum attention to their child at any age. And in the transition period (13-17 years old) you should become a true friend for the child. A parent should not miss a single bad mood or incomprehensible behavior of his child. You can miss something, and this will be fraught with irreversible consequences.
Of course, most teenagers have their first love, but not all of them turn into long and strong relationships.

It is important for a parent to be especially attentive to their child during the dating period - talk to him more, you can ask about how the meeting went, what interesting things you saw on a walk or on a trip, etc. And most importantly, always talk casually and be sure to unobtrusively that early sex is not good. Talk about the consequences of such relationships, as discussed above.

Of course, there are situations when, even with very friendly relations with parents, a child is embarrassed to ask about sex. Therefore, it is important to conduct conversations on intimate topics yourself. It is advisable for the father to talk to the boy, and the mother to talk to the girl. Then the child will be more relaxed in conversation. It is important to talk about sex as a consequence of love. That there should be no intimacy without love. We must not allow sex to devalue the child’s attitude towards life and, as a result, to devalue ourselves!

Conclusion

In the article we answered the troubling question of whether it is possible to have sex at 14 years old. Consulting psychologists can help when a parent is faced with a problem that he cannot solve on his own. At any age this is a difficult topic, but especially so at such an early age.