You cannot compare a romantic friend with your husband, try to find him better or, conversely, worse. It's important that he just be different. He should give you what is so lacking in a well-established family life: romance, finances, reliability, attention and care, support and everything else that is missing. Meetings take place as long as two people feel good with each other, and no one owes anyone anything. After all, the basis of such a connection is love, and therefore, the word that names these people was chosen for a reason. Therefore, some married women with their partner on the side feel much happier than others in a legal marriage.

It would seem that things are going well, and the family is built, and life is smooth, but the woman lacks something for complete happiness. What exactly draws a lady to her side?

• love;
• a husband is not needed (if the woman is not married), a stable relationship is not important, but you want someone to warm up by your side;
• sexual needs (or unsatisfied in the marital bed, or desire for variety);
• I don’t want to commit myself to a permanent man (if I’m not married now);
• support and financial security.

What is he like?

What kind of lover should a lover be to make both soul and body feel good? Of course, first of all, you need to take a reliable person as your lover. This condition is outside the competition and lists. But recommendations to ladies on how to choose the right lover, what mistakes cannot be forgiven, will not hurt - this is a delicate matter.

• Takes care of health and contraception. Of course, sometimes such scrupulousness can cause rejection and embarrassment, but if you think that male prudence benefits both you and your companion’s safety, then you should agree with such integrity. After all, it is the man who is responsible for the health of his family, and therefore he will treat you with the same care and attention. That it will in no way be harmful to your own health - but you will be sure that you can be calm about your future. It is also good when a man is neat and well-groomed. Regarding protection: you should determine who is responsible for what and how you will solve this issue from the very beginning. Don't chase the thrill and trust a professional - a condom. This way you will be calmer, and you will avoid unnecessary questions if something happens. No matter what the gentleman says about his comfort, about how unusual it is, etc., your own health depends only on you and personal persistence in certain matters. Think about your future and how capable you are of solving all sorts of issues on your own.
• The friend’s work and work interests should be autonomous from the spouse’s work area (and yours, in fact). You may feel quite uncomfortable in a situation where you suddenly discover that your friend’s entire interest in you was caused by the desire to resolve his issues related to his husband or you. Or a passionate desire to take revenge on your spouse or find out some confidential information. And spending time together will one day very successfully combine with his “work” interests. In addition, when the mutual romance ends, you will have to continue working together with the person with whom you are no longer so pleasant.

• Free work and personal schedule. The busier a friend is in terms of intrigue, the more difficult it will be not only to hide the connection, but also in general to find time for private meetings. Working schedule from morning until late at night, without lunch breaks or business trips, home time under the total control of the spouse - and meetings are kept to a minimum and equal to a New Year's gift in frequency. But a sliding schedule is just right for intimate meetings. He told his wife - at work, to colleagues and management - that he was home and off to his mistress.
• Tactfulness of a friend. Starting with giving gifts is a very delicate moment and requires a careful approach. The gift should be inconspicuous and delicately chosen, as well as given on time - without random witnesses or prying eyes. And, of course, unnoticed at home - you never know who could give you a bouquet or perfume, colleagues or even you yourself. Therefore, romantic impulses will often come in second place after a sense of self-preservation and rationality. The issue of aromas and perfumery is very important: the closer the smell of a romantic friend’s cologne to your husband’s preferences, the safer you are.
• Sexual compatibility. Actually, this was the reason for the meetings, because exactly how they take place is an important factor. After all, it’s not just for the sake of “talking,” even if this is also lacking at home. In addition, external attractiveness should pull, the heart skips a beat, the legs buckle, or other signs that say: he is! This point may also include the availability of affordable housing - otherwise the search for permanent apartments and rooms will greatly affect the psychological state and comfort.
• The ability to remain silent about important things. Women choose lovers in whom they can be confident - in reliability, stability, in the fact that they can be trusted. You can forgive a partner in an affair a lot, but you cannot forgive a lover for the desire to quickly and constantly spread information about the current affair. It also doesn’t hurt to listen to exactly how he speaks about his previous partners, if he speaks at all. The more and in detail he shares his impressions with you, the greater the chances that after some time you will also be on their list. And various intimate details of life together with him will become public knowledge, in detail.
• A married mistress should have a requirement for a man that she will never say out loud, but for her own safety she must present: he must have a drawback that she is not ready to put up with if their relationship were on a permanent basis. So that there is no desire to make something more out of the novel, so that this affair remains a temporary whim. It would be a good idea to keep a married man as your date - then the temptation to build permanent connections disappears much faster.
• Don't be intrusive. Numerous SMS messages, constant spy calls, attempts to control and track actions, movements - this very quickly tires and instead of demonstrating feelings it becomes like persecution.
• Don't be stingy. For many, such an object already exists at home.

Do not complicate your life by making excessive demands on your companion - he will not be with you for life, but it is enough to satisfy the basic needs when communicating with him to make it comfortable. More positive emotions and impressions, more comfort and safety - in all aspects. Of course, there are enough idealistic requirements in this list, but it is not necessary that all points be present; everyone will find those moments that are especially important to them.

How should a lover behave with his lady of his heart? A lot has been said on this topic, for example, the basic rules can already be seen in a woman’s requirements for her friend:

• take good care of your health;
• be tactful and delicate;
• diversify your sex life;
• keep silent in time, especially about your girlfriends or wife, as well as intimate exploits. Do not advertise the relationship - even if it gives additional bonuses to your friend;
• Do not strain your friend with your actions, control, or excessive attention. Do not try to improve her, develop her, make her a more perfect being - she has a husband for this;
• be generous with gifts and compliments;
• remember that her safety is in the hands of a man;
• do not try to quarrel with your spouse or take you away from the family altogether. Regardless of the goals a man may pursue.

Each woman is looking for something different outside of marriage, satisfying some needs. But it is worth remembering that you also need to work on yourself - what you will bring into the relationship, how you will please your companion, so that he will also want to please you. And although psychology knows many cases where a happy marriage began with adultery, you should not count on this as a pattern - often the story ends in separation.

There comes a time in almost every woman’s life when she realizes that she needs to fall in love. “I want to have a lover!” - many women think, but not everyone decides to fulfill what they want. Meanwhile, the best way to get rid of temptation is to give in to it. After all, you can have, raise, and leave a lover on time without any consequences for the family hearth.
In order not to abandon the cart of a bored family life in the middle of the road, a woman needs gentle strokes, the imperious touches of strong male hands and gentle words whispered in her ear. And, tired, falling asleep, she whispers to herself: “That’s it. I can not go on. I just need to fall in love. To seriously fall in love, to die from the desire to simply breathe the same air as a person, to have butterflies in your stomach, yes, butterflies, and also to feel two hot circles of blood circulation.”

This is poetry. And for some time it becomes the meaning of a woman’s life, it pushes her to find a lover. And there is nothing reprehensible in this, because mistresses and lovers are a kind of amnesty for those married.

But before a woman decides to move from words to deeds, her soul will be subjected to her own moral torture. Two angels - white and black - will cross swords, trying to win the mistress to their side. The good girl inside a woman will categorically declare: “A lover is evil, this is a violation of the law on the husband’s copyright on his wife as his property.” The mischievous girl will balk: “I’m not his property!” The white angel will smile sadly and wisely say: “A lover is the second disappointment of a married woman.” Black will sarcastically remark: “Your lover only needs one thing from you, but give your husband the first, second, and compote.” But no matter what they tell you, let common sense and women's intuition prevail. Let a one-night adventure, a holiday or office romance, or maybe even a long road in the dunes happen to you.

How to choose a lover

A lover should be neither better nor worse than her husband. He just has to be different! It's the most important. He must compensate for the woman everything that she lacks in the family. And each representative of the fair sex needs her own unique puzzle in the mosaic of relationships, but at the same time, all lovers should still have common features.

“Only marriages are accidental,” my grandmother told me. “And you need to take a reliable person as a lover...”

And that's true. After all, your lover will have to follow the rules of secrecy with you in order to protect your immaculate reputation as a respectable wife from dirty gossip.

So, a non-casual lover must...

• Keep your mouth shut.


• Love spy games: do not send SMS without permission, write only to a personal email address and call at a strictly allotted time.


• Don't be intrusive and capricious.


• Respect your right to family life and recognize the priority of this right.


• Provide financial support if necessary.


• Have a sense of humor combined with a philosophical outlook, touching romance with a rational, sober view of things, an undying interest in sex without manic fanaticism.


• Show attention and care in everything... without any demand for reciprocal affection.

Of course, this is the ideal. But Omar Khayyam also remarked: “You’d better be alone than with just anyone.” After all, the only thing that separates us from our dreams is compromise.

Love and bonuses

No matter how selfless and romantic a woman may be, when she takes a lover, she always counts on certain bonuses. All these benefits have been known since time immemorial. What can you do to promote your loved one? For sex, attention, care, position in society, career growth, gifts, money and useful acquaintances. But the main thing that all women dream of is to promote their lover to love...
Love is always a blessing, even if it is painful, like surgery without anesthesia, even if it is scary, like a parachute jump. It is good because love opens us to ourselves, opens us to the world, and the world, renewed and beautiful, gives us the joy of life. Love sharpens all feelings and sensations, changes our attitude towards people, our outlook on life, teaches us compassion and empathy, makes us cleaner, better, more resourceful, cunning, jealous, more attractive.

Pros for husband

By the way, the legal spouse also benefits from the wife’s love affair in one way or another. A woman begins to selflessly take care of her figure and appearance; she is almost always in high spirits: she sings in the kitchen, is more patient with her husband and children, and does not scream or cry for no reason, citing PMS. Meanwhile, the need to receive compliments and gifts from her husband is significantly reduced, and a slight feeling of guilt forces a woman in love to pay more attention to her children, cook more deliciously and create an atmosphere of universal love. An undoubted advantage is that a new sexual experience instills self-confidence in a woman, liberates her and can serve as an impetus for experiments in the marital bed.

The main thing is to approach the issue wisely and not arouse unnecessary suspicion. Tell your husband that new sexual positions were suggested by an erotic film you recently watched at a bachelorette party. And returning home later means preparing a quarterly report, for which in a week you will definitely receive a bonus. Do you think I encourage you to lie? No, I just ask you not to destroy the nest that was so hard built with your new outburst of emotions. Take care of your husband and children - they are the closest people in your life and should never become hostages of your happiness.

It's good to love a married man

A good lover is a married lover. Therefore, it is best to choose a married man. Then you will spend all the holidays with your families and without offense. A married man cherishes his marriage and does not want a divorce just like you. He is simply tired of the family monotony and is looking for understanding in your arms. Give each other this understanding without hurting your loved ones. Believe that you have the power to protect them from disappointment.

A married man will not blackmail you and deliberately leave evidence of your affair in order to spoil the mood of your spouse. A married man is also a spouse. Therefore, you won’t have to cook him borscht or wash his shirts. His wife will do all this. So your housekeeping skills will be used exclusively for their intended purpose and only in your family.

It's time to part ways

Love is beautiful, but it has one problem. She passes. By the way, determining the time for separation is not so easy. It sometimes comes before the love hormones finally subside. It's like saturation. You eat and eat, but your hunger is not satisfied. But you know for sure that it’s time to stop, that in about fifteen minutes you will feel not just full, but satiated from food. In novels everything is exactly the same. The moment of parting needs to be felt with your skin. You can’t delay it, you can’t stretch it out for years, for a time during which you can experience many more beautiful adventures.

I know for sure that before initiating a breakup, every woman remembers her favorite childhood fairy tale by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry “The Little Prince” and the phrase: “We are responsible for those we have tamed.” As soon as a woman remembers them, she begins to suffer and suffer from the fact that the person she decided to leave will not be able to breathe without her. And where do we get such delusions of grandeur? Pipes! How can he!

If you really want to get rid of your annoying lover, act wisely. Give him the opportunity to think that he abandoned you. Men who “abandon” women are very generous: they often shower them with the latest gifts, bring money as a “sacrifice,” and put useful things on the altar of love in order to at least somehow atone for their guilt.

If your lover doesn’t understand the hints and doesn’t intend to leave you, take the reins into your own hands. There are two ways: eco-friendly and non-ecological. Unecological - become a bitch without explanation: be rude, be offended, demand money, constantly talk about your husband with tenderness, refuse sex, keep meetings to a minimum and create an information blockade right up to changing your mobile phone number, until he howls at your behavior.

The eco-friendly way comes down to a banal honest conversation. Simple and effective. There is no need to give a damn, no need to be cunning - you just need to openly say that you are grateful for the good things that once happened between you, but now you are no longer on the same path.

Based on materials from Diana Balyko’s article “The Temptation of a Married Woman.”

In the life of almost every woman there comes a time “H” when she realizes that she needs to fall in love. “I want to have a lover!” - many women think, but not everyone decides to fulfill what they want. Meanwhile, the best way to get rid of temptation is to give in to it. After all, you can have, raise, and leave a lover on time without any consequences for the family hearth.

In order not to abandon the cart of a bored family life in the middle of the road, a woman needs gentle strokes, the imperious touches of strong male hands and gentle words whispered in her ear. And, tired, falling asleep, she whispers to herself: “That’s it. I can not go on. I just need to fall in love. To seriously fall in love, to die from the desire to simply breathe the same air as a person, to have butterflies in your stomach, yes, butterflies, and also to feel two hot circles of blood circulation.”

This is poetry. And for some time it becomes the meaning of a woman’s life, it pushes her to find a lover. And there is nothing reprehensible in this, because mistresses and lovers are a kind of amnesty for those married.

But before a woman decides to move from words to deeds, her soul will be subjected to her own moral torture. Two angels - white and black - will cross swords, trying to win the mistress to their side. The good girl inside a woman will categorically declare: “A lover is evil, this is a violation of the law on the husband’s copyright on his wife as his property.” The mischievous girl will balk: “I’m not his property!” The white angel will smile sadly and wisely say: “A lover is the second disappointment of a married woman.” Black will sarcastically remark: “Your lover only needs one thing from you, but give your husband the first, second, and compote.” But no matter what they tell you, let common sense and women's intuition prevail. Let a one-night adventure, a holiday or office romance, or maybe even a long road in the dunes happen to you.

How to choose a lover

A lover should be neither better nor worse than her husband. He just has to be different! It's the most important. He must compensate for the woman everything that she lacks in the family. And each representative of the fair sex needs her own unique puzzle in the mosaic of relationships, but at the same time, all lovers should still have common features.

« Only marriages are accidental, my grandmother told me. “And you need to take a reliable person as a lover...”

And that's true. After all, your lover will have to follow the rules of secrecy with you in order to protect your immaculate reputation as a respectable wife from dirty gossip.

So, a non-casual lover must...

Keep your mouth shut.

Love spy games: do not send SMS without permission, write only to a personal email address and call at a strictly allotted time.

Don't be intrusive and capricious.

Respect your right to family life and recognize the priority of this right.

Provide financial support if necessary.

Have a sense of humor combined with a philosophical outlook, touching romance with a rational, sober view of things, an undying interest in sex without manic fanaticism.

Show attention and care in everything... without any demand for reciprocal affection.

Of course, this is the ideal. But Omar Khayyam also remarked: “You’d better be alone than with just anyone.” After all, the only thing that separates us from our dreams is compromise.

Love and bonuses

No matter how selfless and romantic a woman may be, when she takes a lover, she always counts on certain bonuses. All these benefits have been known for centuries.

What can you do to promote your loved one? For sex, attention, care, position in society, career growth, gifts, money and useful acquaintances. But the main thing that all women dream of is to promote their lover to love...

Love is always a blessing, even if it is painful, like surgery without anesthesia, even if it is scary, like a parachute jump. It is good because love opens us to ourselves, opens us to the world, and the world, renewed and beautiful, gives us the joy of life. Love sharpens all feelings and sensations, changes our attitude towards people, our outlook on life, teaches us compassion and empathy, makes us cleaner, better, more resourceful, cunning, jealous, more attractive.

Pros for husband

By the way, the legal spouse also benefits from the wife’s love affair in one way or another. A woman begins to selflessly take care of her figure and appearance; she is almost always in high spirits: she sings in the kitchen, is more patient with her husband and children, and does not scream or cry for no reason, citing PMS. Meanwhile, the need to receive compliments and gifts from her husband is significantly reduced, and a slight feeling of guilt forces a woman in love to pay more attention to her children, cook more deliciously and create an atmosphere of universal love. An undoubted advantage is that a new sexual experience instills self-confidence in a woman, liberates her and can serve as an impetus for experiments in the marital bed.

The main thing is to approach the issue wisely and not arouse unnecessary suspicion. Tell your husband that new sexual positions were suggested by an erotic film you recently watched at a bachelorette party. And returning home later means preparing a quarterly report, for which in a week you will definitely receive a bonus. Do you think I encourage you to lie? No, I just ask you not to destroy the nest that was so hard built with your new outburst of emotions. Take care of your husband and children - they are the closest people in your life and should never become hostages of your happiness.

It's good to love a married man

A good lover is a married lover. Therefore, it is best to choose a married man. Then you will spend all the holidays with your families and without offense. A married man cherishes his marriage and does not want a divorce just like you. He is simply tired of the family monotony and is looking for understanding in your arms. Give each other this understanding without hurting your loved ones. Believe that you have the power to protect them from disappointment.

A married man will not blackmail you and deliberately leave evidence of your affair in order to spoil the mood of your spouse. A married man is also a spouse. Therefore, you won’t have to cook him borscht or wash his shirts. His wife will do all this. So your housekeeping skills will be used exclusively for their intended purpose and only in your family.

It's time to part ways

Love is beautiful, but it has one problem. She passes. By the way, determining the time for separation is not so easy. It sometimes comes before the love hormones finally subside. It's like saturation. You eat and eat, but your hunger is not satisfied. But you know for sure that it’s time to stop, that in about fifteen minutes you will feel not just full, but satiated from food. In novels everything is exactly the same. The moment of parting needs to be felt with your skin. You can’t delay it, you can’t stretch it out for years, for a time during which you can experience many more beautiful adventures.

I know for sure that before initiating a breakup, every woman remembers her favorite childhood fairy tale by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry “The Little Prince” and the phrase: “We are responsible for those we have tamed.” As soon as a woman remembers them, she begins to suffer and suffer from the fact that the person she decided to leave will not be able to breathe without her. And where do we get such delusions of grandeur? Pipes! How can he!

If you really want to get rid of your annoying lover, act wisely. Give him the opportunity to think that he abandoned you. Men who “abandon” women are very generous: they often shower them with the latest gifts, bring money as a “sacrifice,” and put useful things on the altar of love in order to at least somehow atone for their guilt.

If your lover doesn’t understand the hints and doesn’t intend to leave you, take the reins into your own hands. There are two ways: eco-friendly and non-ecological. Unecological - become a bitch without explanation: be rude, be offended, demand money, constantly talk about your husband with tenderness, refuse sex, keep meetings to a minimum and create an information blockade right up to changing your mobile phone number, until he howls at your behavior.

The eco-friendly way comes down to a banal honest conversation. Simple and effective. There is no need to give a damn, no need to be cunning - you just need to openly say that you are grateful for the good things that once happened between you, but now you are no longer on the same path.

Love for a married man is a known tragedy. An extremely small number of such stories end in a man’s divorce and a new marriage with a former mistress. Almost always, the man successfully sits on two chairs, and the mistress suffers, deceived by ethereal hopes.

However, there are lucky women who don't pretend that their doomed romance is a source of pure joy. They actually enjoy dating a married man and do not turn into sufferers with an eternally pitiful puppy dog ​​look. How do they do this?

We talked to women who deliberately have affairs with married people. Then we systematized all the advice they give to girls who have their eyes on unfree men. It turned out interesting and very useful. We share with you the rules of relationships with married men.

Don't fall in love

The first and most important thing, without which meetings with a married man sooner or later turn into hell, is the ability to listen to your heart. Having fallen in love, you become defenseless against the hope of tearing a man out of the family, and you lose all chances for the romance to last long and be fruitful.

If you feel that you stop noticing other men, that this is exactly who you would like to spend all your free time with, break off the relationship. Sharply and mercilessly, not listening to either the man’s persuasion or his reluctance to do this. Loving a married man has no place in your life: it is a destructive path that will only lead to despair and wasted years. There are many free men in the world whom you can love joyfully and without fear. You will forget this love, and later, when the clouding of your mind passes, you will be proud of your determination.

An affair with a married man can only be for sex and a good time.

Monitor your care products

Forget about your favorite perfume, strong-smelling shower gels, colored lipstick and other body products that can leave a mark on a man. If a man dates you and you are smart, then the wife is not too simple. It's very easy to smell another woman. It is unlikely that a man will need a second interrogation from his wife: he would prefer to end the relationship with you rather than risk family stability.

In addition, you will do him a favor (and gain his respect) if you check before breaking up to make sure there is no hair left on his body or clothes.

Rules of communication on the Internet

Forbidden love for a married man Do not add him as a friend on social networks. If he is already your friend, it is better to delete him to avoid troubles. Under no circumstances should you comment on his statuses, photographs, or anything else.

If it seems to you that it is impossible to figure you out, do not be deluded: a wife who suspects her husband of cheating is capable of a lot. You will never know that the cute new friend (or acquaintance!) with whom you are chatting sweetly in the chat is your lover’s wife, conducting an investigation.

If you value your connection with a man, forget about his existence on the Internet!

Taboo on topics about wife

By the way, don’t ask or listen about your wife. If he starts complaining about her, stop it! Do you want to be the third in their relationship? If not, let his friends or a therapist be the vest. You are for someone else.

By the way, when you start a relationship with a married man, immediately discuss why you both need this relationship. And if you are not satisfied with something, report it immediately. Lovers, at least one of whom is married, are a business union. It may be cynical, but you must understand what they want from you. And leave the sentiments, romance and omissions to his wife.

Expect nothing

Yes, one of the most important points. In a relationship with a married lover, you can only expect what you immediately agreed on. If a man told you that he will not leave the family, stand firmly in the position that this is so. Even if you want to believe that it is not true, act as if it is the ultimate truth. Something will change - the man will tell you about it. There is nothing worse in an affair with a married man than the silent expectation of specific actions that the man does not know about.

Ban on calls and SMS

He should call. Clearly and in advance agree on the time when you can call the man so that it does not backfire on him.

Never call him in the evening (unless otherwise agreed), on weekends and holidays. Don't send messages. A man will only be happy to “keep” his mistress when she does not interfere with his usual life. You should be a source of joy, not additional stress. It's already difficult for a married man to date you.

Lovers and Mistresses

Amnesty for married people or betrayal of family values?

– I’m not dating – I have a boyfriend.

- Also say: “I won’t eat ice cream - I have dumplings at home!”

In this section, we will talk about betrayals, why they occur, whether they can be avoided and whether they should be enjoyed.

214. Time "H"

In the life of almost every person there comes a time “H”. The time when the cart of family problems and routine responsibilities becomes so unbearably heavy, and the collar rubs the neck so much that there is no strength to drag this cart any further.

And in order not to abandon this cart in the middle of the road, we need gentle strokes, authoritative touches and gentle words spoken in the ear. And the tired little man, falling asleep, whispers to himself: “ All. I can not go on. I just need to fall in love. To seriously fall in love, to die from the desire to breathe the same air as a person, to have butterflies in your stomach, yes, butterflies, and also to feel two hot circles of blood circulation.”

Very often, mistresses and lovers are simply an amnesty for those married.

215. Just the facts

Statistics show that in 60% of families, partners cheat on each other. Every ninth child born in a complete family was conceived not by a husband, but by a lover. More than half of the couples where one or both spouses committed infidelity did not divorce and remained married. And only a tenth of those who divorced married their lover.

Most will agree that it is better to be embarrassed in the morning than bored in the evening.

You can seduce someone else's wife, someone else's husband, neighbor, postman, boss, plumber, work colleague, and even someone else's mistress. You can't just seduce someone who is in love. Love is the only compelling reason not to cheat.

216. Oxytocin high

Family happiness guarantees a quiet endorphin haven. But there are people who are addicted to surges of PEA, oxytocin, dopamine and do not want any endorphins. Now I'm talking about Don Juan syndrome. Some, drunk from the amphetamine cocktail in their blood, become auto-addicts and prolong the chemical happiness of falling in love, changing partner after partner.

Oxytocin is a bioactive substance produced by the brain. It sharpens the sensitivity of the nerves, stimulates muscle contractions, in particular labor pains; participates in the production of milk, indulges maternal love and caresses, and also causes erotic games of sexual partners and orgasm.

Here it is - the chemical component of love, but still not love.

Love is the elusive substance of happiness, the experience of pain and joy, the practice of opening oneself to the world, and the world to oneself. The main thing is to go into the world with open palms. Be yourself and stop being too reasonable.

217. Testosterone is responsible for libido

When people get married, they are guided by everything: they listen not only to their hearts, but also to the advice of relatives and friends, pay attention to the educational and material level of their future spouse, probe interests, draw up compatibility horoscopes, go to fortune-tellers and psychics. And in the heat of the moment they forget one simple thing - testosterone - the hormone that is responsible for libido.

The main reason for infertility in couples is the reluctance of one of the partners to have sex. And here someone else can take hormones, go under the surgeon’s knife for laparoscopy, use dietary supplements, wear erotic lingerie, and handcuffs with a whip. The result is the same - infertility, because two people make a child.

The main reason for sexual infidelity is also the reluctance of one of the partners to have sex. And here someone else can take hormones, use dietary supplements, wear erotic lingerie, and handcuffs. The result is the same - boredom, monotony in sexual life, which makes you sick to your stomach.

I would legally force newlyweds to take tests for testosterone and print the numbers in their passports annually so that people would not fool each other by verbally flaunting their sexual exploits, but in bed showing a small wrinkled fig.

218. Where is the border of betrayal?

And generally speaking, Is there treason and what is it? Let's put a question mark for now. Is cheating extramarital sex or intimate conversations about secrets, financial help from a secret admirer or touching care from a family friend? Where is the line after which you can say: betrayal has occurred? Everything is clear with sex. Public morality has long elevated this mutual friction of partners’ genitals to the rank of treason. What about other manifestations of human relationships?

There is a possibility that you and your husband/wife have good, solid sex, he/she satisfies you in bed, but perhaps you have never talked about the meaning of life, about spiritual quests, about the most intimate things. And now a person appears to whom all this is important, with whom it is simple, easy and pleasant for you to talk. Is this treason? And if “yes,” then what to do? To give up intimate pastime for the sake of blind morality that says: cheating is bad?!

Or perhaps you have an admirer who gives gifts - flowers, candy, tickets to the concert of your favorite rock star. Pampers you with something that your husband has never “abused” with. And you accept his advances. Is this treason?

Sometimes family life consists of only two stripes: white - the honeymoon and black - until the divorce. So shouldn’t we make our life striped, or better yet, colored? After all, you are not a thing, you do not belong to anyone!

219. One hundred and forty “ifs”

If a person is happy and satisfied, in love and in demand for his love, he will never even think about having someone on the side. He just doesn't need it!

But if the boat of family love has cracked, then what to do? Where to put libido if it screams, and the other half calmly snorts into two holes and believes that “sex is not the most important thing”? Where can you put the longing for tenderness if your ears are hungry for kind words? What to do? Should I not notice the leak, jump ship like a rat, or, patching holes, allow myself the little joys of life that are called “betrayal”?

The choice is yours! There are no restrictions!

220. Indelicate truth

“Men really like the myth that a wife, satisfied with her marriage, will not rush into the arms of a random man. However, sex “on the go” among married women is becoming more popular than a protracted affair “on the side,” says psychotherapist, associate professor at Moscow State Pedagogical University Alexander Poleev.

You can be virtuous alone, but it always takes at least two to sin. Professor Robin Baker and his brilliantly electronically equipped team, using material from 5 thousand married English women aged 30 to 40, found that 11% of their children (one in nine children!) did not belong to the legal father, and in most cases the mothers themselves did not know about it . A significant portion of these mothers agreed to the study using the method of inducing a hypnotic state, and it turned out that these children were the result of one-time sexual relationships, which women simply did not remember about in half the cases. More than half of these relationships took place during the period of ovulation, those four to five days when attraction in the fair half of humanity reaches its maximum. Baker himself is convinced that the fair sex has a gene for sexual infidelity, which is activated during this period.

While men's libido is falling, women are trying to solve the demographic problem with all their might. And if a husband drinks beer with friends at a bar during his wife’s ovulation, then he grows horns. And nothing can be done about it. Such a folk sign.

221. Why do women cheat?

Sometimes the social dominates us so much that it drowns out the urges of libido on the radar. Christian morality, loyalty as a value for everyone and everything, fear of sexually transmitted diseases...

But no matter how happy a woman is married, she always notices with pleasure that there are men in the world who would like to see her unmarried. A beautiful wife and at the same time faithful is as rare as a successful translation of a poetic work. Such a translation is usually ugly if it is correct, and incorrect if it is beautiful.

In love, like in school: the most interesting thing is the change.

222. Why do men cheat?

People are not swans: they are polygamous. Otherwise, you and I simply would not have been born, since our ancestors would have died out many years before us.

A man is a hunter by nature. He needs to conquer and conquer, conquer and conquer. And if a man still has libido splashing around, then when the opportunity arises, he will show himself as a one hundred percent male. And that's okay.

223. We cheat, they cheat on us... As often happens to us

There are many reasons for betrayal, and they are all individual. Naturally, one cannot think that given the right moment, everyone will definitely change. This is wrong. Some people are just lazy...

There is one important note on the issue of betrayal. Think about this.

Your partner, looking for pleasure on the side, does not want to hurt you at all. He just wants to do well for himself. But isn’t love the desire for the desires of another? Aren't you glad when your partner is happy? Then what kind of love is this?

224. Don’t take a random person as your lover

A mistress/lover should be neither better nor worse than your other half. He just has to be different! This is the most important quality. He must compensate for you everything that is missing in the family.

And although everyone needs their own unique puzzle in the puzzle of relationships, our lovers must meet a number of requirements.

“Only marriages are accidental,” my grandmother told me. – And you need to take a reliable person as a lover.

And that's true. After all, he will have to follow the rules of secrecy with you in order to protect your reputation from dirty gossip.

So, a non-casual lover should:

1) keep your mouth shut;

2) love spy games - encrypt, do not send SMS without permission, write only to a personal email address and call at a strictly allotted time;

3) do not be intrusive and capricious;

4) respect your right to family life and recognize the priority of this right;

5) if necessary, provide financial support;

6) have a sense of humor combined with a philosophical outlook, touching romance with a rationally sober view of things, an undying interest in sex without manic fanaticism;

7) show attention and care without any claims to your undivided attention.

Of course, this is the ideal. But “somehow” you have a home.

Omar Khayyam also remarked: “It is better to be alone than with just anyone.” After all, the only thing that separates us from our dreams is compromise.

225. If you are not a saint

If you have ever cheated on your partner in a dream or in reality, then recognize his right to “left”.

Otherwise, you end up with some kind of system of double standards. Like, “what is allowed to Jupiter is not allowed to the bull.” You, Jupiter, be careful with your conclusions, otherwise you will become a deer, and the antlers will interfere with the passage through the door.

226. Just a chance

Adultery is a projection of democracy onto love relationships.

For some, the very possibility of committing treason has an exciting effect - this is the main factor.

When a person is given this opportunity, he will cheat 40% of the time.

227. Work is a very sexy place

Where do we spend most of our life, its most active hours? Where do we leave all our strength? Where do we burn? That's right - at work!

What better opportunity to have an affair than in an office full of attractive members of the opposite sex?

Working men and women are more likely to commit infidelity than those who stay at home. Half of the “office” romances are started by married people. 30% of people find lovers at work.

228. A bad example is contagious

According to psychologists, there is a clear tendency to repeat “family traditions” in the behavior of older children. If a child has seen the infidelity of one of the parents, he may well conclude that infidelity in family life is the norm, an objective reality, an ordinary part of everyday life and relationships.

A powerful factor in infidelity is example of friends. This could be just a conversation about lovers and mistresses. The more contacts and communication a person has, the more friends he has who cheat in marriage. And their example can become contagious.

229. Active libido pushes women to search

Sexological researchers have established a direct relationship between sexual experience before marriage and extramarital affairs: the richer the former, the greater the likelihood of adultery. The largest share of adultery occurs in the female age group of 26–30 years.

Research in recent years claims that young wives now cheat more often than young husbands.

Sociologists believe that in most cases, if a woman initiates sex at home, she is prone to cheating. This trend is especially evident in women who have reached forty years of age. They have a different view of the initiative in sex than those women who are ready to wait for a man to propose.

230. Regular displacements along the coordinate axis?

About ten to fifteen years ago, when the media started talking about sex and adultery, bookshelves were filled with brochures for women: “How to survive the pain of separation?”, “101 secrets on how to drive him crazy in bed” (I personally bought one book in the 10th grade!), “How to find the strength to forgive betrayal,” “Is there life after divorce?”

In women's periodicals, fifteen out of sixteen pages were devoted to similar topics (the sixteenth contained jokes, recipes and a TV program for the coming week for under-loved and abandoned housewives).

Under the influence of democracy, the press and libido, women liberated themselves, learned to forgive betrayals, and forget betrayals. Marital infidelity is no longer considered infidelity at all. We mastered 101 secrets, went into a new marriage after another divorce, like children going to school. They drove countless men crazy and shifted the natural coordinate axes into a strange area where men are visited by panic attacks, impotence and infantilization.

231. Natural right to “left”

In a reputable Moscow publication, I read an article by a serious economic analyst on a topic that was unusual for him. He suddenly, in his author’s column, made Yaroslavna publicly cry on the topic of the subtle, vulnerable male soul. He started talking about how offensive it is when a man works day and night for the good of his family, but his wife does not leave home, does not leave her husband, but, taking advantage of all the material benefits, secretly cheats on him. But the journalist did not sound hysterical or like a woman (they say, she cried, wiped away her tears and returned to borscht). No! He always remained an analyst. Even on such a burning topic. He offered actively working men several ways to rein in relaxed wives.

Firstly, return to the patriarchal way of life: be silent, woman, your day is March 8th. In the house, the man is not the boss, but the owner. Secondly, strictly limit the loose wives in material resources: a minimum of new clothes, visits to solariums, hairdressers and other beauty salons. Thirdly, and this is the most effective method! - you need to send your wives to hard work so that they are so tired that the very thought of sex would seem blasphemous to them.

And it didn’t even occur to this wonderful analyst that you could have sex with your wife in such a way that going to the left, to another man, would become completely uninteresting to her.

If you fully satisfy the other half on the family bed, she will not go outside.

In a big city, where no one knows each other, it is much easier to start an affair and - more importantly - to hide it than in a small town, where you can’t say too much because everyone will already know.

Big city - big opportunities. And for betrayal as well.

233. Woman is the head of the family

Today, many masculine features have appeared in the portrait of an ideal woman. Husbands want their wives to do not only housework, but also business, earn a lot, and be public figures and leaders of public opinion.

A woman who plays a leading role is more likely to have an extramarital affair. She is more proactive than a woman who obeys her husband in everything, and, naturally, is more confident in herself and her future.

Shifting gender roles allows women not only to earn money and run for parliament, but also to change.

234. When one loves another too much

More often than not, the partner who loves less is less dependent and therefore more willing to take risks in the marriage. On the other hand, the more dependent partner values ​​marriage too much to even look away. This also applies to those men and women who do not love their partners, but married for convenience.

The most reliable defense against betrayal is love - unconditional, a priori, natural, inexplicable, basic, physiological, volcanic.

235. Education leads to sin

Those who are more educated than their partner are more likely to cheat and have more extramarital affairs. Most often, education influences infidelity in later life.

We receive higher education in the metropolis. A good level of secular education speaks of liberated views, internal democracy, flexibility of consciousness, acceptance of different points of view, and a certain radicalism of behavior. And all these factors speculatively make the very fact of betrayal possible.

236. Frequent separations will leave no chance for boredom

Frequent business trips, long working hours, and working different shifts make the likelihood of having affairs on the side very high. Partners who lead separate lives are more likely than others to engage in extramarital affairs.

Researchers have found that married partners who take vacations apart have 20 percent more extramarital sex than others.

237. Sex doesn’t spoil friendship

When time is short, there is no time for friendship - only love.

A man never becomes a woman's friend if he can become her lover. And either former or future lovers become good friends. So, if your spouse has a wide circle of friends with the opposite sex, know that among these friends there are both ex-partners and future candidates for the bed with your love of your life.

238. Dissatisfaction with marriage takes a left turn

A negative assessment of one's marriage is also one of the main factors in adultery. Mature partners prefer to compensate for the failures of their marriage by having affairs on the side, while younger partners who are disappointed in their marriage prefer to get a divorce.

The lower the frequency of marital sexual intercourse, the more likely extramarital affairs are.

For women, the influence of this factor on infidelity increased with the advent of the era of sexual freedom and the realization that every woman deserves to realize her sexual desires.

239. It is possible to cheat on your partner. Never for yourself!

I have already brought up the question of why people cheat. They cheat for various reasons - boredom, longing for tenderness, quarrels with a partner, desire for new sensations, collecting, and you never know what other reasons?!

When you get tired of making one love, you need to make two. The main thing is that, despite all the sexual experiences that have happened and missed chances, you remain in harmony with your conscience so that it does not gnaw at you at night.

240. A mature man can only be surprised in sex by a doorbell!

And again I will delight you with funny aphorisms:

If you really love, then such a woman that you won’t be ashamed to catch your wife’s eye with her.

When you come home late, don’t think about what to say to your other half, she will tell you everything herself. At the same time, the face must be stony, and only the truth must be spoken. And only three boxes.

Someone else's wife is always better than her own, but only as long as she remains one.

An idiot's dream usually looks like his neighbor's wife. After all, you usually like something in another woman that you don’t notice in your own wife...

As a rule, the problem is not that the wife loves her husband, but that she loves only him.

Look for the culprit of betrayal in the mirror.

241. What to do?

During married life, almost every woman several times (4-6) enters into short-term (usually one-time) sexual relations, as a rule, with a co-worker, a long-time friend or just a casual acquaintance.

Have you now learned something you would rather never know? What will you do? Will you grab your wife’s hand, your offspring’s leg and run to the clinic for a genetic test? Nonsense!

Calm down, take a break and think about male solidarity. Perhaps now your offspring, conceived from a casual relationship, is being raised by your friend or boss. Perhaps you are lucky enough to be raising your own child. Or perhaps someone else's. But what difference does it make if you love your child?

242. Do you want to avoid adultery?

Give your other half everything she needs - care, attention, affection, material wealth, children. Share your partner's interests, aspirations and feelings. Do not part with your loved ones more than once a year, for more than twelve days.

Can you? Difficult, you say? Yes, I know it's not easy.

Family is a lot of work. And if you feel that such a load will tear you apart into a British flag, then maybe close your eyes and allow your other half to have a little outlet on the side?

243. If you suspect cheating or find out about it

Look in the mirror - the reason is somewhere there.

But sex on the side is not the whole of life. People are not things, not your property, not your slaves. They cannot belong to you completely and irrevocably. Everyone has their own life. And your plans for her. Be grateful if your loved one shares at least part of their life with you. Many people don’t even have this. The love of many is unrequited.

After all, if your half lives with you, it means that by her presence she has already proven a hundred times that your relationship is important, more important than all other little things. And that's the only thing that matters! There is no need to break the fragile vessel of family relationships with your own hands.

If we certainly don’t know about the betrayal, then it doesn’t exist. And if we know, then we learn to forgive. Categorical behavior is a sign of weakness. A sign of greatness is forbearance and the ability to forgive. This is also an indicator of true power and wisdom. Remember Schindler's List? So this movie doesn’t hurt to re-watch!

244. The way back is always clear

They say that betrayal changes a person’s consciousness so much that there is no way back to the old family. Smile! And let those who have never swum to the left tell you that you cannot enter the same river twice. Smile and don’t reveal the secret you know: you are not a thing, you don’t belong to anyone!

You are a cat that walks by itself and decides for itself where to go - right or left...

So, I came across it on the Internet, I was hooked, I smiled... (a man writes):
"From personal experience...
Along with the inevitable easy accessibility of representatives of the not always beautiful, but always the opposite sex, came the reluctance to exchange for this very easy accessibility. The trembling flapping of eyelashes at the snap of fingers is a drive from the archives of five years ago. And I’m tired of throwing beads.
The pairs of women's eyes surrounding me are divided into those who want and those who allegedly hide their desire. One way or another, no one minds. This is understandable. The days of oversleeves, cracked chipboard desks and obligatory morning scoldings from the boss are long gone. Now I myself enjoy doing morning scoldings to set the proper working mood for the whole day.
You won’t be able to surprise me with anything other than the depth of your stupidity. So you don’t have to wait for anything other than sex on my schedule.
That's why With my special attention I pamper women who are already securely married and, even better, fully established.

With them, the need to play love and pretend to have some feelings is minimal.. There is only one feeling - and it needs to be satisfied. She understands this very well, since she is also a person, and not a strange creature from a nightclub with television brains.
She has a mobile phone and knows how to delete unwanted calls and text messages from it. She is in touch when needed, and she carefully saves excuses about the reception area for her husband. Yes, I won’t arrange a showdown with her if I can’t communicate.
She most often has a car, so she doesn’t need to go to some remote neighborhood to pick her up, trying not to come under fire from the grandmothers from their permanent observation bunker. All meeting places are also thoroughly checked for the unexpected appearance of familiar personalities poking their nose into something that is not their business. At the same time, all these places are extremely functional, and she definitely won’t ask me to go somewhere to a “new fashionable place.”
When we meet, we will get down to business as quickly as possible and part ways, without imposing millions of meaningless promises on each other.
She won't throw a tantrum at me because the meeting didn't work out. She won't throw tantrums at me at all. Because she doesn't need it! And she understands perfectly well that I do too. And her smile, honed over the years and sincere interest in everything I say, will not cause me to gag reflex from pretense. She will manage her emotions as skillfully as only a woman can, who has been molding herself to look like another person for many years.
She won't want my child, and she won't want to marry me.. She won't want this, if only because she's not stupid. She clearly positions herself in society, and she has something to lose. And if it happens that she gets pregnant, then it will not be my problem, but her husband’s.
I don't have to worry about gifts for her. Even though I can give her almost anything she wants, she won’t want it because she will have to explain this gift to her husband. And I don't expect gifts from her. She gives herself to me - I don’t need anything else from her. And she doesn't expect more.
She won't tell anyone about me. The years this woman spent with her husband had already taught her “not to wash dirty linen in public,” so the details and facts of our communication will remain only our property. She knows how to remain silent when necessary, and with amazing speed she calculates these moments in my behavior. Besides, she doesn’t need to brag about me to her friends, and I don’t need to come up with reasons to avoid “accidental” communication with this inevitable train. Because she needs me, not changes in status.
And most importantly - she won't be jealous of anyone. I've had enough of this goodness in my life, and she understands it. It stands in its designated place in my file cabinet and knows that it is not immune to updates.
I won't be jealous of her either. Still, she is not my wife, but someone else’s.
She will never bother me on holidays and weekends without prior agreement, because like me, he spends this time with his family.
Based on materials from the article “My beloved is someone else’s wife...”

There is also a view from the female side:
"I want to be loved
There comes a time in almost every woman’s life when she realizes that she needs to fall in love. “I want to have a lover!” - many women think, but not everyone decides to fulfill what they want. Meanwhile, the best way to get rid of temptation is to give in to it. After all, you can have, raise, and leave a lover on time without any consequences for the family hearth.
In order not to abandon the cart of a bored family life in the middle of the road, a woman needs gentle strokes, the imperious touches of strong male hands and gentle words whispered in her ear. And, tired, falling asleep, she whispers to herself: “That’s it. I can not go on. I just need to fall in love. To seriously fall in love, to die from the desire to simply breathe the same air as a person, to have butterflies in your stomach, yes, butterflies, and also to feel two hot circles of blood circulation.”
This is poetry. And for some time it becomes the meaning of a woman’s life, it pushes her to find a lover. And there is nothing reprehensible in this, because mistresses and lovers are a kind of amnesty for those married.
But before a woman decides to move from words to deeds, her soul will be subjected to her own moral torture. Two angels - white and black - will cross swords, trying to win the mistress to their side. The good girl inside a woman will categorically declare: “A lover is evil, this is a violation of the law on the husband’s copyright on his wife as his property.” The mischievous girl will balk: “I’m not his property!” The white angel will smile sadly and wisely say: “A lover is the second disappointment of a married woman.” Black will sarcastically remark: “Your lover only needs one thing from you, but give your husband the first, second, and compote.” But no matter what they tell you, let common sense and women's intuition prevail. Let a one-night adventure, a holiday or office romance, or maybe even a long road in the dunes happen to you.

How to choose a lover
A lover should be neither better nor worse than her husband. He just has to be different! It's the most important. He must compensate for the woman everything that she lacks in the family. And each representative of the fair sex needs her own unique puzzle in the mosaic of relationships, but at the same time, all lovers should still have common features.
“Only marriages are accidental,” my grandmother told me. “And you need to take a reliable person as a lover...”
And that's true. After all, your lover will have to follow the rules of secrecy with you in order to protect your immaculate reputation as a respectable wife from dirty gossip.
So, a non-casual lover should:
Keep your mouth shut.
Love spy games: do not send SMS without permission, write only to your personal email address and call at a strictly allotted time.
Don't be intrusive and capricious.
Respect your right to family life and recognize the priority of this right.
If necessary provide material support.
Have a sense of humor combined with a philosophical outlook, touching romance with a rational, sober view of things, an undying interest in sex without manic fanaticism.
Show attention and care in everything...without any demand for reciprocal caresses.
Of course, this is the ideal. But Omar Khayyam also remarked: “You’d better be alone than with just anyone.” After all, the only thing that separates us from our dreams is compromise.

Love and bonuses
No matter how selfless and romantic a woman may be, when she takes a lover, she always counts on certain bonuses. All these benefits have been known for centuries.
What can you do to promote your loved one? For sex, attention, care, position in society, career growth, gifts, money and useful acquaintances. But the main thing that all women dream of is to promote their lover to love...
Love is always a blessing, even if it is painful, like surgery without anesthesia, even if it is scary, like a parachute jump. It is good because love opens us to ourselves, opens us to the world, and the world, renewed and beautiful, gives us the joy of life. Love sharpens all feelings and sensations, changes our attitude towards people, our outlook on life, teaches us compassion and empathy, makes us cleaner, better, more resourceful, cunning, jealous, more attractive.
By the way, the legal spouse also benefits from the wife’s love affair in one way or another. A woman begins to selflessly take care of her figure and appearance; she is almost always in high spirits: she sings in the kitchen, is more patient with her husband and children, and does not scream or cry for no reason, citing PMS. Meanwhile, the need to receive compliments and gifts from her husband is significantly reduced, and a slight feeling of guilt forces a woman in love to pay more attention to her children, cook more deliciously and create an atmosphere of universal love. An undoubted advantage is that a new sexual experience instills self-confidence in a woman, liberates her and can serve as an impetus for experiments in the marital bed.
The main thing is to approach the issue wisely and not arouse unnecessary suspicion. Tell your husband that new sexual positions were suggested by an erotic film you recently watched at a bachelorette party. And returning home later means preparing a quarterly report, for which in a week you will definitely receive a bonus. Do you think I encourage you to lie? No, I just ask you not to destroy the nest that was so hard built with your new outburst of emotions. Take care of your husband and children - they are the closest people in your life and should never become hostages of your happiness.

It's good to love a married man

A good lover is a married lover . Therefore, it is best to choose a married man. Then you will spend all the holidays with your families and without offense. A married man cherishes his marriage and does not want a divorce just like you. He is simply tired of the family monotony and is looking for understanding in your arms. Give each other this understanding without hurting your loved ones. Believe that you have the power to protect them from disappointment.
A married man will not blackmail you and deliberately leave evidence of your affair in order to spoil the mood of your spouse. A married man is also a spouse. Therefore, you won’t have to cook him borscht or wash his shirts. His wife will do all this. So your housekeeping skills will be used exclusively for their intended purpose and only in your family.

Love is beautiful, but it has one problem. She passes. By the way, determining the time for separation is not so easy. It sometimes comes before the love hormones finally subside. It's like saturation. You eat and eat, but your hunger is not satisfied. But you know for sure that it’s time to stop, that in about fifteen minutes you will feel not just full, but satiated from food. In novels everything is exactly the same. The moment of parting needs to be felt with your skin. You can’t delay it, you can’t stretch it out for years, for a time during which you can experience many more beautiful adventures.
If you really want to get rid of your annoying lover, act wisely. Give him the opportunity to think that he abandoned you. Men who “abandon” women are very generous: they often shower them with the latest gifts, bring money as a “sacrifice,” and put useful things on the altar of love in order to at least somehow atone for their guilt.
If your lover doesn’t understand the hints and doesn’t intend to leave you, take the reins into your own hands. There are two ways: eco-friendly and non-ecological. Unecological - become a bitch without explanation: be rude, be offended, demand money, constantly talk about your husband with tenderness, refuse sex, keep meetings to a minimum and create an information blockade right up to changing your mobile phone number, until he howls at your behavior.
The eco-friendly way comes down to a banal honest conversation. Simple and effective. There is no need to give a damn, no need to be cunning - you just need to openly say that you are grateful for the good things that once happened between you, but now you are no longer on the same path.

Based on materials from Diana Balyko’s article “The Temptation of a Married Woman.”

Interesting views, and most importantly, how similar the points of view are!