How to introduce parents before the wedding. Meeting the parents of the bride and groom

Your loved one has already proposed marriage to you, and you are already mentally trying on his surname and patronymic for your future heirs. But then a thought bursts into your sweet head, making your blood run cold - you need to introduce future matchmakers. Your parents and his will now become relatives, which means they should at least know each other. Well, of course, if you and your future husband have known each other since school or live next door, then a priori the parents already know each other. How can you introduce complete strangers and make them friends? This task is not easy.

Parents probably understood that meeting their daughter’s boyfriend’s mom and dad is a signal that there will be a wedding soon.

But it’s still better to warn them in advance. Surprise is hardly appropriate here. Well, imagine. Everyone is already stressed because of dating, and here you are also taken aback by the good news.

It is better to schedule your first family date on neutral territory. The best option is a cafe or an outdoor picnic. A glass of wine will bring previously unfamiliar people together. Going to the cinema, theater or exhibition together is not really an option, because parents will not be able to communicate there.

Coming to the house of one of the parties is also not a very good idea, because those who receive guests will be tense, trying not to fall face down in the dirt, preparing dishes for the festive table and wondering if dear guests will notice that there is no color on the wallpaper in the corner. the drawing converges. And the guests themselves will feel constrained on foreign territory.

If your future family already lives together, then invite your parents to your home and treat them to a delicious dinner and a good mood.

Cute stories from the childhood of children who decided to get married are a traditional technique.
Traveling can also set you in a positive mood. Exchange stories about who was where and what they saw. Only after casual communication should we move on to the agenda - the wedding.

It is better to warn your parents in advance about topics that should not be raised in the presence of future relatives. You remember that politics and football are taboos. But every family has its own skeletons in the closet, the mention of which can completely ruin not only the meeting, but also further relationships.

If the groom's parents do come to visit you, do not forget to remind your beloved that he should grab flowers not only for you, but also for your mother. She is also a woman who loves them, which means that when she receives the bouquet, she will be in high spirits and will understand that it was not in vain that you chose this particular man among millions of others.

We have already said that a glass of wine will liberate everyone, but we are talking about a glass. Alcoholic drinks drunk in large quantities can aggravate a tense situation and even lead to unpleasant incidents.

There is no need to look for a double bottom in the words or actions of your parents or to wind yourself up by rewinding the sound or visual sequence in your head.

At the first meeting, a person may seem completely different from who he really is, and it is unlikely that anyone will want to intentionally offend anyone. Therefore, relax and discuss the details of the upcoming family celebration. But without fanaticism!

We are all different people, including parents who can be shy or, conversely, lively. If you both feel that things may not go quite as you would like, you can invite another family member or close friend to the meeting. A godmother with a well-spoken tongue, a witty brother or a wise granny will defuse the tense situation in the air with their presence, fill pauses and smooth out rough edges. But don’t forget to warn the guest that his mission is not to constantly shift attention to himself, but to direct the conversation in the right direction.

No matter who your parents and the groom’s parents are and no matter how skeptical they are about the fact that they will have common grandchildren, the main thing is the atmosphere that you and your chosen one create. Of course, each situation is individual and there are no general rules, but our tips will help you organize a meeting of parents.

Meeting parents is a very exciting and difficult exam for a young couple.

Girls and boys strive to please the parents of their significant other, knowing that a pleasant impression from the first meeting will be the key to future good relationships.

This significant event means not only simply introducing both sides to each other, but also going to visit a family whose norms and traditions you do not know at all.

Correct “behavior when meeting parents” is a weighty brick in the foundation of a young family.

So, how can you avoid ruining a moment that is so important to you all?

You need to know the correct etiquette when dating!

First, everything needs to be organized correctly. Prepare your parents and be sure to agree on a meeting time. The invited party should know what awaits them: a quiet dinner with the family or a noisy celebration with many guests.

It is very important to pay due attention to appearance; vulgarity and excessive impudence in clothing are unlikely to find a positive response from parents. It is important to behave tactfully and politely; modesty and ease should become your second self.

If meeting your parents is very important to you, subtleties of etiquette will help you look decent.

Remember: it is very impolite to refuse food offered to you; it may offend the hostess of the house. But you shouldn’t abuse alcohol!

If you get drunk on the first day, you will create a very bad impression of yourself.

At such moments as meeting the parents of the other half, all sorts of delays are possible, nothing can be done about it. And if you are late and have no idea how to explain it without breaking etiquette, the rules of late etiquette will help you.

You should know that etiquette standards allow for late arrivals of up to half an hour. No more!

In any case, if you are delayed, you are obliged to warn the hosts about this, briefly explaining that the reason is indeed important. When you arrive, you must apologize to everyone present for the inconvenience caused.

Worse than being late is arriving early. The owners may simply not have time to prepare everything; there is no need to make them nervous.

The most important thing is to behave naturally, no false flattery, cheeky behavior or indecent topics of conversation. Find out in advance how the hosts feel about smoking, and if it is not welcome and you smoke, well, you will have to be patient.

It is preferable to address your spouse's parents by their first and patronymic names.

Always try to observe etiquette, look neat and behave decently, and meeting your parents will no longer be a nightmare for you, but will become a pleasant and useful pastime.

Meeting the parents is an important part of pre-wedding preparation. The further format of relationships and communication depends on how the acquaintance goes. A well-conducted first meeting is the key to strong and close relationships between two different families.

Where to begin?

• Decide on the date of the meeting in advance, preferably no later than a couple of months before the wedding.
• Think through everything thoroughly and in detail, if necessary, drawing up a plan or concept for the meeting. We will discuss in this article what format of dating is suitable for you.

Traditional ritual - Matchmaking

Since ancient times, matchmaking has been considered even more important than the wedding itself. The groom, together with his relatives, arrive for the bride to her parents to ask for her hand in marriage. All this is accompanied by a series of tasks to test the future husband and a noisy, cheerful feast. The advantage of traditional matchmaking, with an innovative approach, is the opportunity to modernly interpret old values, introduce families and get closer.

How to introduce parents in a modern and tasteful way?

The most common option is to meet in a cafe or restaurant, over a delicious dinner, a bottle of wine and warm conversations about the upcoming event.

Advantages of dating in a restaurant:

• There is no need to waste time preparing dinner at home and cleaning up – the restaurant’s delicious cuisine and good service will certainly set a wonderful tone for the evening.
• You can choose a restaurant that has a karaoke room. If a tactful dinner turns into lively fun, invite your family to go and sing a couple of your favorite songs, thereby securing a great ending to the evening.

The second option would be a trip to nature or to the countryside (if the acquaintance takes place in the warm season). The advantage of this format is class universality: people with different incomes and standards of living go out into nature. Kebabs are a format that can smooth out corners! Entrust fathers with the groom to cook the meat, and the bride and mothers can set the table and prepare snacks, while emphasizing their culinary skills.

What to talk about:

Don’t be afraid to say too much, because it is this fear that brings tension to the atmosphere. Be yourself, take off your masks, because in the future you assume sincerity in communication, there is no need to hide something or play, because a family is not a theater. Sincerity, basic etiquette and a wide smile are your keys to creating a relaxed atmosphere. At the beginning of the meeting, introduce the parents to each other, do not focus only on resolving wedding issues. Talk about life, about their childhood. Ask how they found each other and created their families, and it doesn’t matter if you already know about it in advance from your significant other.

• Gifts and flowers. To emphasize the specialness of the moment, the groom can buy a bouquet of flowers for the mothers (it’s better to first find out which flowers each of them prefers, and in case of allergies, please the lady with a bouquet of flowers or satin ribbons). The bride should prepare small gifts for her parents. These analogues of wedding bonbonnieres - delicious compliments prepared with your own hands - will be the ideal addition to the evening. If the bride is not distinguished by pastry skills and the art of beautiful packaging, turn to professionals who will prepare sweet gifts.
• Features of characters. The bride and groom should talk about their parents' personalities in advance in order to prepare and take the information into account during dinner conversations.

A marriage proposal makes future newlyweds think not only about the wedding, but also about meeting their parents. Organizing a meeting for them is not as easy as it might seem at first glance.

When should a meeting be scheduled for family members of the future newlyweds?

There are no specific rules when choosing a specific time. It all depends on the life situations of each couple individually. Some parents may want to get to know the parents of their child’s chosen one or chosen one only at the beginning of the relationship. Others prefer to meet them a week before the wedding. In some cases, the situation may develop in such a way that the parents of the newlyweds have to get to know each other at the wedding itself.

If the parents of a guy and a girl are ready to get to know each other, but do not dare to do so, the lovers should take the initiative to organize the meeting into their own hands. For example, it can be timed to coincide with some celebration that is usually celebrated with family.

Preparing the festive table

One of the most important moments of a perfectly executed meeting between the parents of a couple is a well-prepared festive table. If a restaurant has been chosen as the venue for the meeting, you should familiarize yourself with its menu in advance. It is advisable that all dishes be European, since not everyone likes Chinese cuisine. Especially the older generation. In addition, you should avoid a Chinese restaurant for another reason: not all guests know how to use chopsticks. Because of this, some parents will not feel entirely comfortable at the meeting.

Before holding a meeting at home, you need to find out in advance about the taste preferences of the guests, and whether they are allergic to any foods. Parents will be pleasantly surprised by the couple's attention to them.

Whether or not to put alcoholic drinks on the table depends only on the newlyweds themselves. If the couple’s parents see nothing wrong with relaxing with wine, it would be appropriate to put alcohol on the festive table. You should also not forget about mineral water and juice.

It would be a good idea to pamper all the gathered guests with a homemade dessert. This will pleasantly surprise the young man’s parents, and will give the girl’s parents the opportunity to be proud of their daughter.

How should young people behave when families meet?

The parents of both future newlyweds will definitely pay attention to how the guy and the girl behave towards each other. It is the young man's responsibility to look after his significant other during the meeting.

If a couple has been living together for a long time and has a fairly close relationship, they should not be shown to their parents. Showing love in the form of kisses, hugs and nicknames that are strange to other people should be left for later.

Usually a guy and a girl, when meeting their parents, try to seem better than they really are. Because of this, communication turns out to be crumpled and unproductive. In addition, subsequently all the shortcomings of the future couple will still come to light.

A little trick

You should not announce your intention to tie the knot during the first meeting. This can be done after some time. The couple's parents should get used to each other and feel at ease in communication. The news of a wedding at first meeting may take them aback. The meeting for each parent will be spent thinking about how to hold the wedding, how much money will be needed and whether it is worth inviting a second cousin.

There is no more exciting meeting in a person’s life than meeting the parents of a loved one. As soon as the day is announced, all thoughts will be only about it. And this is not surprising. Getting to know those who are so important to the chosen one can further strengthen the relationship with him or, on the contrary, destroy it. That’s why you really want to make a great impression and go through this “test” with dignity. And to make it easier to take the first step, it’s worth thinking about what you can give to the groom’s parents as a sign of acquaintance. After all, gifts always evoke a lot of positive emotions, so why not start getting acquainted with them.

Don't try to surprise future relatives with your taste, wealth or intelligence. Nobody likes to have their virtues demonstrated to them, voluntarily or unwittingly. Unnecessarily expensive gifts can be perceived as an attempt to win their sympathy with money, which obviously will not add respect to you, because it will involuntarily humiliate them, as if they are needy or decide that their son is not worthy of you. This will be especially offensive for the father. After all, you cannot know how he perceives his financial situation and whether it is acceptable for him to accept such signs of attention from women in general.

In any case, generous gifts are given to very close people, for everyone else they are a kind of obligation, and no one likes them. If you really want to please them and are not afraid to take risks, ask your loved one if this is permissible. So that it doesn’t turn out that you offend both his parents and himself. Apart from him, no one knows their values ​​and attitude to life so well.

You shouldn't give them a cute puppy or kitten unless they are true animal lovers or animal rights activists, but such people usually already have a bunch of pets, so they are unlikely to need another one. But you can bring something for their pets. Such a gesture will be received favorably and definitely appreciated. When a person loves animals, he is very sensitive to how others treat them.

So, by showing attention and love to our smaller brothers, you will very quickly win their love, just let it come from the heart, pretense in this matter can lead to big problems in the future.

A book is a great gift if people love to read. It would be great if you put a dedicatory inscription on it. There is no need to save money here. A good book, in a beautiful binding, which can decorate their collection, will be gratefully received. Unlike money, jewelry or any other things, an expensive book is perceived as a sign of good taste and respect for the person to whom it is intended. It will be received with gratitude, even if they do not like to read, but simply consider it necessary to have a rich library at home.

If his parents are interested in some kind of hobby, find something that will complement their collection or be useful for its implementation.

Flower lovers will appreciate a seedling of an exotic plant, avid fishermen will appreciate an excellent float or fishing line, and a music lover will appreciate a ticket to a concert of their favorite artist or his album. But here you must be sure that you correctly understand their hobbies and tastes. Don’t take risks when choosing alcohol; connoisseurs and connoisseurs of good wine and cognac will immediately understand how much the drink you bought costs, especially if it is a fake. Today no one guarantees quality even for a lot of money. An excellent exception could be expensive tea or coffee.

Photo: what do they give to the groom's parents?

You should not give underwear, ties, shirts, socks, perfumes or cosmetics. This is considered bad form, since only close people can know the preferences of their relatives. A stranger can easily make a mistake, putting the person in an awkward position.

Money will not be the best choice either. After all, this is not an anniversary or a birthday, but an acquaintance. And for him it is enough to prepare pleasant gifts that do not hint at anything, but are a pleasant addition to the upcoming communication, a sign of attention and respect, and not an attempt to arouse admiration or stun.

Flowers will be a wonderful gift. Opt for a bouquet created specifically for women, the packaging of which is not striking, but is discreet. Fill the card with warm words expressing your feelings and you will definitely endear them to you immediately.

There is nothing more pleasant than sincere sympathy and attention. Especially if you find out in advance what flowers his mother likes. Men are more tolerant, and they are rarely biased towards future daughters-in-law. Therefore, it is much more important, first of all, to win over his mother, and only then his father, and then it will be much easier for you to continue further communication and acquaintance.

Gifts for the groom's parents

• When choosing a gift, be guided by what your loved one told you about his parents. If you don't know about something, be sure to ask. Now is not the time to rely on your own taste; after all, you don’t know them well enough to understand with 100% certainty what they like.

• Don't waste your last money. Gifts should bring joy not only to his parents, but also to you. It is unlikely that the groom will like the fact that the upcoming meeting has created unnecessary problems for you. Let them be inexpensive, but made with all the heart. After all, there is nothing more pleasant than a smile and a good mood when meeting someone, and not an expensive gift with a tense face.
• If you want to surprise them, order mugs with their photos. Nothing surprises a person more than the image of his loved one. Ask your chosen one to find their most beautiful photographs without them noticing anything, and you will not only surprise them with such a surprise, but will immediately melt away the wariness that accompanies such an important meeting.
• Mom loves going to the theater, and dad doesn’t mind accompanying her there; find them a good show and buy tickets. Tickets to an exhibition or concert that is interesting to them can also be a wonderful surprise.
• For those who love dachas, you can present a beautiful thing that will decorate their country house, as well as something that will definitely be useful in the household.

• Things made with your own hands can not only please them, but also demonstrate how wonderful a housewife you are, since you so lovingly make candles, soap, knit or sew.
• But you shouldn’t bring home a dish you’ve prepared yourself. Leave the right of “first violin” to the future mother-in-law, and especially do not refuse to try what she has prepared. Otherwise, unexpected problems will arise due to this in the future.
• For those who like to spend more time at home, you can present a cozy blanket, a beautiful set or cutlery, glasses, towels, a beautiful painting, photograph, vase or figurine.

Photo: what do they give to the groom's parents?

• A diary, notebook, stationery, wallet, scarf or scarf are suitable for those parents who continue to work, but here it is better to consult with your loved one. After all, you need to find out what color, shape and quality they prefer.
• For the father who likes to do everything with his own hands, you can choose a convenient tool box or buy something that he is missing or has recently broken. True, you definitely cannot do without the help of the groom in this matter.
• A digital frame, a beautiful ashtray, a flower vase, pillows with a photo of their beloved son, a kitchen set - the choice is really huge. The main thing is that all this should be from the heart, and not because it is necessary. No matter how you try to hide the fact that you bought gifts because it is customary, it will still become immediately clear. After all, when they are made from the heart, it is felt and visible to the naked eye. Because only those who sincerely wanted to please him and did everything in their power to do so can guess what a person will definitely be happy about, what he dreamed about and what he wanted.

Meeting the parents of your loved one is the most important stage of a relationship. This is an acknowledgment of how serious he is about you and that the next step for him will be a marriage proposal. But if you are united by love, your relationship with his parents is like a blank sheet of paper that has yet to be filled in. And a lot depends on how this is done. Therefore, it is so important to be able to find something that will allow you to get to know each other better and turn your communication not into a battle for the heart of a loved one and a tug of war, but into a mutual respectful or, even better, friendly relationship that will further strengthen your love.