Love. How many feelings and emotions are associated with this simple word. Every person. There are so many people, so much diversity of love in our world. After all, everyone feels and sees it in their own colors and shades, and as a result, not everyone knows how to understand whether you love a person or not? After all, people sometimes cannot describe this feeling in words, cannot draw it in a picture, cannot play a musical instrument, cannot dance... And if someone managed to do this, they showed only a small part of their great feeling.

How to understand that you truly love someone

¨ Excitement. When a loving person appears, you begin to worry for no reason. As a result, you may drop your cup or see your hands shaking wildly. You can't string words together into one sentence;

¨ Skin pigmentation. Without knowing it, you may feel awkward and blush. Even standing in a cool room. But each person has individual skin pigmentation and its manifestations are individual. Your cheeks may turn red, only your ears may turn red, or, on the contrary, you may turn pale in front of everyone;

¨ Conversations and thoughts. Don't know how to understand whether you love a person? You are in love if you constantly talk about your object of adoration. His image does not leave your thoughts. When you try on this or that outfit, you definitely think about whether he will like it. Imagine different situations with your participation in the main role;

communication. When you talk to him, you like his voice. You write to him very often, sometimes even too much. You expect a response to the stupidest messages, even those that have no text. In conversation you often use the word “We” rather than “I” and “he”. It's rare to call him by his name. “Trying on” his last name;

¨ Magnet. You are completely, completely, constantly drawn to him. You can tell whether you love a person by the fact that you always strive to be where he is. You often meet “by chance” in different places. Sometimes you just don’t understand how this meeting could happen, but your heart knows which paths to take;

¨ Recoil. You want to give everything to your loved one. Nothing worries you except your general happiness and its pleasure. You are ready to make any sacrifice for the sake of well-being in a relationship, and you react to any of his whims with dignity.

You can understand that you love a person with the help of folk wisdom. One of them says that when people are in love, they often quarrel, but when they are in love, quarrels become a rare occurrence. It takes a lot of strength for love to remain in your hearts, but even more strength is needed to recognize this love. Don't miss the chance to love the one and only person who will become your whole world. Love and be loved!

How to understand what it is: love, sympathy or infatuation?

If you ask any person what the word “love” means, there will probably be a great many definitions for this word. Love can define one’s attitude toward one’s homeland, one’s favorite food, surrounding objects, favorite animals, and so on. However, the most common association with the word “love” is the emotional state of a person and the manifestation of feelings. It is difficult to understand whether you love a person. Love or habit? Sympathy or passion?

Sympathy

You can feel sympathy for a long time, but it is more typical for friends. That is why you need to decide on what exactly love for your chosen one is based. Do you have a willingness to support a person, to help him in difficult moments of life? If you have common interests and worldviews, you will probably feel sympathy for the person, which can then develop into something more serious.

Sexual attraction

If you feel that in the presence of your chosen one you are experiencing sexual attraction and are excited, then most likely you are burning with passionate love for him and you have to understand that you love the person or not. Most often, love is a consequence of the search for something new, bright emotions and adventures.

Set of common interests

The combination of common interests and sexual attraction most likely indicates that you feel romantic love for your chosen one. This is the most wonderful period of a relationship, but, as practice shows, only young couples can have such a long period.

In a serious relationship, passion is far from the leading emotion. The level of your desire will help you understand that you love a person or not yet. It would be absurd for you to confess your love to a person just because you are sexually attracted to him. This kind of “love” does not bode well. For the sake of bliss in bed, you will have to endure literally everything from your loved one.

Friends, lovers and like-minded people at the same time

As you know, there is no love without friendship. Therefore, for true love it is very important to become a friend, lover and ally to your partner at the same time. Moreover, the desire to become more than lovers must be mutual. The desire for eternal love, when partners are ready to keep it forever - this is true love.

Addiction

How can you understand whether you love a person and not become dependent on that person? One must be able to avoid emotional sadism. If you think that at least someone must be next to you, these are signs of false love.

Jealousy

Jealousy never leads to real feelings. Jealous people for the most part are just egoists who want to dominate their partner.

How to understand that this is love

Aristotle offered a profound analysis of love. He knew how to understand that you love a person. When we experience happiness from the presence of another person, he said, it is simply a disposition towards him. True love occurs when we long for someone who is absent and want that person to be there. Further, true love is expressed in both affection and intimate relationships, not just affection alone.

Love is a psychologically important need. If you were to count how many hours people spend making themselves attractive to the opposite sex by flirting, dating, courting, arranging marriages, having sex and dreaming about love or sex, it would add up to a significant percentage of many people's lives . If you add listening to music, looking at works of art and admiring beauty, then this share would be much higher.

You can tell if you love a person through sexual desire. Freud said that inside every person there is an animal that contains within itself the impulses characteristic of animals for unbridled sex. If the animal inside us were ever to break free, it would end in chaos and the destruction of society.

How to appreciate your love

Our test will help you understand whether you love a person or not. Your need for love is very high if any of the following statements are fundamentally true:

1. To achieve love, you spend a significant amount of time compared to friends of about the same age.

2. You have had many sexual encounters with many partners.

3. You find it difficult to control your sexual impulses.

4. Compared to most people you know, you devote much more time to communicating with beauty.

Your need for love is low if any of the following statements are true in principle:

1. You spend little time having sex or thinking about it.

2. You believe sex is disgusting.

How to understand if you really love someone

Love is a very complex plane, which must always be discussed in a rather subjective tone. A particularly difficult question in love is: “Do I really love this person?”

Many girls sometimes cannot understand what feelings they have for this or that person. When we turn to tests, clairvoyants and friends with this question, we make a mistake, because we don’t need to ask it to anyone else, but to ourselves.

Try to answer honestly the three questions that we propose, and then you will be able to understand whether you really love a person.

1. Imagine that this person is not in your life. Will you miss him? Take this issue seriously. Do not accept the fact that this person may live somewhere abroad. Love has obstacles if there is love. But if this person is not there, will you be worried about this?

1. If your loved one has health problems, will you stay with that person? One of the important life questions that many psychologists resort to. The promise to be in sickness and in health, which is taken from those who marry, arose for a reason. If the person next to you has real health problems, will you be able to devote your life to him?

1. How do you feel when someone speaks badly about your loved one, even if you are in a quarrel? And don’t confuse this with someone saying something as a joke. When you're really angry at a person, that's when your real feelings for them come out. Do malicious words addressed to him offend you? After all, if you love a person, then even at the moment of offense you will defend him in front of others.

Try to answer these three questions honestly and, having received answers to them, you will, if not 100% be able to find the answer to your question, then at least get closer to understanding what you really feel for a certain person.

Reflection on the topic “loves, does not love?” as old as time.

For many centuries, this question has tormented every girl in love with its uncertainty.

The question “Does he love me?” sounds relevant in modern society.

When a representative of the fair sex experiences a feeling of affection and tenderness for a young man, she is definitely interested in whether he experiences the same thing.

So, what should you do if you are wondering, does he love me? A test and analysis of a man's behavior will help you determine what stage your relationship is at.

Are all lovers the same?

If you are familiar with the classics of Soviet cinema, you should be familiar with the film “Sorcerers”.

Remember the plot where two scientific sorcerers are waiting for the lover Ivan on the street, and he must go through the walls into the apartment of his beloved Alyonushka and disenchant her with a kiss?

And when he is about to kiss her, she asks “sing, Ivanushka.” And he sings.

And two people on the street in the forty-degree frost look at each other, twirl their finger at their temple, and Mikhail Svetin says the famous phrase: “For medicine, lovers and crazy people are all the same. But you and I are guaranteed pneumonia.”

Only very open and self-confident people behave in such a bright and, at times, careless manner during a period of strong infatuation.

More restrained people do not tend to excessively express feelings; you can guess that they are in love by their looks and gestures, by unusual behavior, and by the topics of conversation.

Modesty or indifference?

A secretive person can be difficult to understand, although he is capable of strong and long-lasting love.

Often, the complexion and inability to speak in public takes away the tongue of the lover, and he finds himself unable to utter the magic words “I love you.”

With life experience and developed attention, a girl or woman determines by looks, gestures, words and intonations whether a person loves, shows interest, wants to bring the relationship closer, or whether light flirting is enough for him.

What to do if there is no experience of communication, if these are the first strong feelings? How can I understand that he loves me?

The most unpleasant situation occurs when a guy uses a girl (or a man uses a woman) for his own purposes, creating the appearance of falling in love, takes advantage of her apartment, wealth or position in society.

Psychological analysis of joint communication and behavior will help you draw the right conclusions.

Features of the behavior of a person in love

How do I know if he loves me? According to the characteristic behavior characteristic of lovers.

Every person changes when he experiences sublime feelings. We are not talking about sexual arousal and purely sexual interest of a man in a woman.

We talk about the wonderful feeling of love that changes people for the better, helping them become kinder, more sympathetic, and more attentive.

When a man (or woman) is in love, wings seem to grow behind his back. Being in love is characterized by a constant positive attitude, sparkle in the eyes, and a surge of strength (physical and moral).

A person in love strives to show interest in the object of his affection, sets out to get to know the girl better, is capable of selfless help and care, and often wants to stand out and attract attention.

With such manifestations, the question “does he love me?” - rather a formality. ()

Signs of falling in love

How can the listed signs of being in love manifest themselves?

1. Showing interest. The form of showing interest can be different: calls, questions, the desire to take the longest route home, staying with a girl over tea, asking mutual friends about her.
   Often, having fallen in love, a guy stops visiting the gym, computer club, and changes his social circle to another in which his girlfriend revolves.
   In a conversation, he doesn’t exactly catch her every word, but he listens carefully and remembers important points. Showing genuine interest, he remembers important dates for the girl (for example, relatives’ birthdays), planned vacations and conscious preferences.
   He listens carefully to the problems that have arisen and shows interest in solving them (expresses his attitude to the source of problem situations and suggests possible solutions).
   Many men are characterized by silence, but a guy in love is capable of holding long conversations. He is interested in childhood and school photographs of his beloved girl.
2. Selfless help and care. In the event of a girl’s illness, a loving guy shows truly tender and chivalrous care: he carries sweets and fruits and the necessary medicines.
   At any time of the day, any day of the week, he will try to come to the rescue. He shows a caring attitude towards the object of his love: he helps to carry a heavy bag, gives away his warm sweater, explains missed educational material.
   A loving guy strives to help carry out various events: go to the store, plan a vacation. Warmth and tenderness are felt in the words of a loving person, even if the topic of conversation is abstract (discussion of situations that happened during the day or familiar people).
3. Desire to attract attention. In order to stand out and attract attention, the young man talks about his achievements and merits: victories in competitions, scientific research.
   If he is in excellent athletic shape, he will not miss the opportunity to demonstrate a somersault or a bicycle jump.
   A man strives to give gifts to the lady of his heart, invite him to a movie or dinner in a cafe, do any pleasant little thing (for example, pay for her travel on public transport).
   The guy tries with all his might to make a good impression. To get acquainted with his preferences, a loving guy invites a girl to his favorite trips and vacation spots. Controls his speech, limits the use of offensive and obscene expressions.
4. Plans for a common future. In conversations, topics of the future and planning it with his beloved girl slip through. Let's go on vacation together, work together during the holidays, and do other things together.
   If a young man invites you to meet his parents, it means he has thoughts about a future life together. A guy in love proudly introduces his girlfriend to all his friends.
5. Gestures– are a tool of psychological analysis. Based on random gestures, an experienced psychologist will determine a person’s state and thoughts.
   A lover's gestures are often directed towards the object of his love. The guy likes to take a girl by the hand and hug her by the shoulders with friends. Of course, a lover will not pat his beloved on the shoulder like a friend.
6. Love and tenderness. A loving guy periodically (but not every minute) talks about his feelings. This is cool. An interesting observation from psychologists: if a man never speaks about his feelings first, one should doubt his sincerity.
   Shows of affection confirm what was said in words. Don't confuse a coveted pat on the butt or tugging on the chest with a gentle touch of the hand. A girl can often catch the eye of a guy who loves her, because he enjoys admiring his girlfriend. At the same time, he is not very interested in other women.

Observations and analysis of gestures, actions and words will definitely answer the question “how can I understand that he loves me?”

Is it possible to build a long-term relationship or does the guy only want to spend a couple of evenings together? Is he head over heels in love or is he a seasoned womanizer?

Showing your wonderful feelings in response to his attention will strengthen the created union of two people.

By offering her love to her beloved man, showing respect for his merits, a woman makes the main reciprocal gesture in her life.

Love is an extremely subjective feeling and concept, but everyone who has fallen into its network can confidently say that there is nothing more beautiful and desirable in the world. However, how not to be mistaken in your feelings and recognize the first “symptoms” of love fever? It's no secret that infatuation, infatuation, passion and love have similar characteristics. And it is extremely difficult to see the difference, because the difference lies deep inside us. How to understand whether you still love a person or not? Let's answer a few important questions and understand what is hidden behind the irresistible craving for the chosen one.

First of all, you need to think about why this question arose in the first place. Where did this idea come from? It's quite simple. At the beginning of a relationship, when the candy-bouquet romance “blooms and smells,” the girl or guy does not doubt their own feelings at all - we are firmly convinced that we love this person!

However, after a few months (or weeks), the rose-colored glasses fall off, and the lover begins to wonder how much his chosen one corresponds to the ideal. Are emotions real? Maybe it's just sympathy? In this case, feelings fade into the background, and the calculating mind is in the center. He seeks to cool the fervor of our emotions, taking care, among other things, of a heart that may break. The voice of reason is a good phenomenon, indicating a healthy human psyche.

The concept of “love” is unique and individual, since everyone loves in their own way. However, common features are common to all people without exception: love is something good, warm, expensive, associated with a feeling of comfort when your chosen one is nearby.

Signs of love

Finding out whether you really love a person is not always easy or simple. What to do? Take off your rose-colored glasses and try to look at your own relationships from the outside with maximum honesty. There is no need to listen to friends and “well-wishers”! So, the symptoms of true love:

1. Unselfishness. True love is a selfless feeling. If a man or woman is looking for benefits, constantly waiting for the chosen one to do something for him or, especially, help him financially, there is no need to talk about love. These are not emotions, but use.
2. Sexual attraction. Can true love exist without sex? It’s difficult to say, since everyone hears about so-called platonic love, which does not imply physical contact. However, many psychologists are confident that love is always combined with sexual attraction, which is completely natural. Along with the desire to possess, a person in love wants to see and hear the chosen one, to be nearby just like that, not because of the satisfaction of “animal” instincts.
3. Unconditional acceptance. To love is to accept a partner with all his advantages and disadvantages. A person in love does not seek to remake the chosen one to suit his patterns. Do you want to change something about your dear friend? Most likely, this is not love.
4. Confidence. The ability to trust a loved one is an important indicator of true love. If you are used to sharing your problems and joys with your partner, you are not afraid that you will not be understood or laughed at, this is SHE. Incomplete trust is one of the signs that you still do not love this person.
5. Consistency. True love differs from falling in love in that it is not influenced by any external circumstances. For example, if relatives and friends oppose the chosen one, a loving person will defend his opinion and feelings. In addition, real emotions do not change plus to minus, even if the partner turned out to be far from perfect.
6. Sacrifice. Love implies the willingness to sacrifice oneself for the sake of the one whom the heart considers the best person in the world. Sacrifice does not imply the desire to receive anything in return, the most important thing is moral satisfaction from the happiness of a loved one.

Several ways to understand if you are in love

Of course, we would need some kind of indicator that would allow us to determine whether it is love or not. However, wise scientists have not yet invented such a device, which is why we will “identify” interest, affection, sex, sympathy and love according to certain signs and parameters.

Method No. 1. Test

Can't understand your own experiences and feelings? Answer a few simple questions:

1. Do you think about him (her) before falling asleep, do you want to wish him pleasant dreams?
2. Are you trying to make him happy?
3. Do you feel good and calm next to your chosen one?
4. When you think about him, smile, blush and get excited?
5. Are you counting the hours until you meet him?
6. Do you consider him the best man (woman)
7. You know about all his shortcomings, but continue to accept him for who he is?
8. Does being separated from him for a long time worry you?

If you answered a confident “yes” to all the questions, congratulations, your feelings are sincere. If you feel unsure about the answers, it’s worth thinking about it. Remember that the test should be taken in your normal state, avoiding special joys and quarrels.

Method number 2. Pros and cons

A common psychological method is to divide a sheet of paper into two columns and write down the positive and negative qualities of your chosen one. This way you can get your real attitude towards him and a vision of his personality.

Analyze the number of pros and cons. What is your loved one made of? Advantages or disadvantages? The predominance of positive qualities is another joyful evidence of your love and good attitude towards your partner.

Method number 3. Meditation

It is more comfortable to sit in a soft chair, on a carpet that is pleasant to your body - you will have to spend half an hour on it. In addition, there should be no distractions or extraneous thoughts. It is easier to enter a “trance” by focusing on your own breathing.

Having calmed down and detached yourself from extraneous thoughts, imagine this person. Happened? How do you feel? Do you want to come up, kiss, hug, or run away? Decide on all your feelings (negative and positive) that arise when the image of your loved one appears.

Method number 4. “He is no more”

Quite a cruel, but effective technique. Try to imagine that your chosen one is no longer with you (no need to get hung up on this idea). Or perhaps you've never dated at all. What are you thinking about? Are such representations comfortable? Or perhaps they only bring you pain and discomfort? We understand the significance of a thing or person when we no longer possess it. The result of reflection will be an understanding of what feelings you experience for your chosen one.

Love or affection?

Another common question: how can you understand whether you love a person or is it just affection? First of all, you need to understand that pure relationships and emotions are almost never found. Love, jealousy, sexual attraction, desire, affection - we experience all this at the same time, but only in different proportions.

As we said above, selfless care is considered an important sign of true love. Attachment is considered a kind of psychological dependence on a chosen one or partner.

The main feature of attachment is not selflessness and happiness, but dependence and sometimes the suffering that a dependent person experiences. If attachment is accompanied by special feelings that deprive a person of freedom, we can talk about psychological obsession.

So, understanding your true emotions and experiences is sometimes quite difficult. But if you are firmly convinced of the correctness of your own choice, you should not doubt your chosen one. Love is the most beautiful feeling that should be enjoyed, especially if it is mutual. Love and be loved!

After living with a person for several years, or even just spending a long time nearby, many people ask themselves: “Do I really love him/her? Am I confusing love and affection, habit and sympathy? Is this the companion with whom I would like to meet old age? . From a psychological point of view, these are absolutely normal feelings, because gradually emotions fade into the background, and the mind appears in the center. It is he who seeks to cool our ardor, taking care of the nervous system and the heart, which can break. So the voice of reason is a good and necessary phenomenon; it testifies to a healthy human psyche.

Signs of love

In general, the very concept of “love” is different for each person, because everyone loves in their own way, but still this feeling also has common features: love is something good, warm, very important and dear for everyone, you just feel good when you and your significant other are nearby.

Let's find out what symptoms of true love exist:

Unselfishness

True love is the most selfless feeling, and if a person tries to find benefits in a relationship or constantly expects that something should be done for him, then there is no way to talk about love here. These are no longer emotions, but use.

Sexual attraction

One of the controversial questions is whether true love can do without sex? It’s hard to say, everyone decides for themselves, but psychologists say that love is always combined with sexual attraction, and this is absolutely natural. But along with the desire to possess the lover, you also want to see and hear your chosen one, to be close, and not only because of “animal” instincts.

Unconditional acceptance

To love means to accept your partner completely, with all his pros and cons. Love does not seek to remake a partner to its own standards and ideas; it values ​​them, no matter what.

Confidence

This is a very important indicator of true love. If you can share absolutely everything with your partner - both experiences and joy, without fear of being misunderstood, then you can be congratulated - you have real feelings.

Constancy

True love differs from falling in love in that it does not succumb to external circumstances, for example, when friends or relatives are against the chosen one, the loving person remains unconvinced and continues to build relationships.

Sacrifice

True love presupposes that a person will be ready to sacrifice something for the sake of his loved one. Moreover, sacrifice does not imply any exchange; the most important thing is your personal moral satisfaction from the fact that you made a person happy.

How do you know if you really love someone?

Method No. 1 – test

If there has come a time in your life when you just can’t figure out your own feelings, then try taking this test for yourself, answering simple questions sincerely:

• When you fall asleep, do you think about your loved one, do you want to wish him a pleasant night and a dear morning?
• Are you trying and striving to do things to make him happy?
• Do you feel good and calm around him/her?
• When you start thinking about him/her, do you smile or worry?
• Are you rushing the clock and counting the minutes until you meet him?
• Do you consider him the best in the world?
• You already know about all his shortcomings, but still continue to love a person and accept him for who he is?
• Does separation from him/her depress you or worry you?

By answering yes to all the questions, you confirm that your feelings are real, but if among the answers there were hesitations and uncertainty, then perhaps it is worth looking at your relationship deeper and more thoughtfully. But remember, you should answer questions in a calm state - without much euphoria or quarrel.

Method number 2 - classic

One of the most common and effective psychological methods is to divide a sheet of paper into two columns, write down all the pros and cons of your significant other, so you can see the real attitude towards him and an assessment of his personality. After analyzing the number of advantages and disadvantages, you will understand what you really feel for him, and, of course, the predominance of positive qualities is another evidence of your love.

Method number 3 – meditation

This is a great way to relax, get distracted and look inside yourself - to do this, sit in a comfortable soft chair or on a pleasant carpet, turn off all sources of sound, close your eyes and start breathing deeply but slowly through your nose.

Having calmed down and disconnected from extraneous thoughts, imagine your loved one. Remember all your feelings - what did you want? Come up and hug? Or did you get upset and want to run away? Decide on all your feelings - meditation helps very well to understand your true feelings for your loved one.

Method number 4 - tough but true

The technique is considered one of the most effective - try to imagine for a few minutes that your loved one is no longer with you, or, conversely, perhaps you have never met at all. What's the first thing that comes to your mind? How do you feel during this, what does it bring you - pain and discomfort? As you know, a person understands the full significance of someone or something only after losing it, so the result of these reflections will be an understanding of what you really feel for your chosen one.

Love or affection?

Another point that worries many is how to distinguish and understand whether love or affection binds you? Take note of a simple condition: true love is, first of all, selfless care, and affection is still a kind of psychological dependence on a person.

And the basis of attachment is not selflessness and happiness, but dependence and even suffering experienced by the addict, and if attachment is also accompanied by special feelings that deprive a person of freedom, then we can already talk about psychological obsession.

Of course, understanding your true emotions is not so easy, but now you know exactly what can and should be done. Don't let you have to doubt your choice. Love and be loved!