How and when to make concessions. The art of compromise: is it always good to make concessions?

Life in the modern world constantly pushes people to the need to compromise. And, it’s true, it’s not easy to live in society without the ability to give in. But is the best solution to a conflict always a compromise?

Or is it sometimes easier to remain yourself without voluntarily infringing on your own rights? Let's try to figure out what exactly the art of compromise is and when it is better not to resort to it.

So, a compromise is an agreement that people come to on the basis of mutual concessions. In other words, each side must sacrifice something in order to achieve a resolution to the existing conflict.

Compromise: pros and cons

In fact, this phenomenon is often misunderstood: to compromise is to step on the throat of your desires, your opinion, and often your dream. In fact, this is not a compromise at all, but compliance, an inability to defend one’s interests.

An example of such a “compromise” in a relationship can be given: wife and husband have lived for many years. Their marriage seems exemplary. But people don’t realize that for decades the wife has turned a blind eye to the rudeness (and sometimes assault) of her husband (“ but the guy is nearby», « but it brings money into the house», « but I'm not alone" and many more such "buts"). Agree, her sacrifice has nothing to do with compromise. The wife constantly gives in, and the husband favorably takes advantage of her gentle character. But compromise is a voluntary and mutually beneficial matter, when only mutual agreement can be reached.

There are many situations when people show weakness of character and make concessions.

• This is also the inability to defend their rights in front of domineering parents who decide with whom their grown-up child communicates, which university to choose, with whom to live.
• And the constant abandonment of your dreams to please your neighbor.
• And putting other people's work on your shoulders.

All this indicates human weakness. Whereas the real art of compromise is accessible only to people of strong spirit. To those who respect and value themselves. Only in this situation can we talk about a healthy relationship between two adults.

True compromise is constructive and respectful

But, by definition, compromise is an act for the good. For example, consider this situation: in a store, a child is ready to throw a tantrum if his mother does not buy an expensive toy. There are no funds to purchase. In exchange for an expensive trinket, the child is invited to watch a fairy tale together (a walk in the fresh air with a story about nature, a visit to the playground). And the child agrees, as a result of which he is left, although without a gift, but with a lot of positive emotions. That is, both (parent and child) choose a solution to the conflict - a compromise. Each party agrees to a concession (the mother will have to spend an hour or two of free time, and the child will have to understand that he can be happy not only with the thing bought in the store).

Agree, a much worse solution to the problem on the part of the mother would be to yell at the baby or borrow money and buy an expensive thing. And the child would only be a loser if he did not stop crying and begging for what he wanted.

What pushes us to an unfavorable compromise?

1. People.

   Often we are pushed into an unfavorable compromise by people who are unpleasant to communicate with. Those who feel like you owe them something for life. For example, you have a lonely friend. She did not find a spouse due to extreme pickiness towards the opposite sex (one candidate for husband is not rich enough, another is ugly, the third does not match his zodiac sign, etc.). However, she seems to be jokingly reproaching you for your happy marriage. And so that your friend doesn’t suffer so much, you are forced to entertain an adult woman every weekend, and even listen to how unhappy she is. This is a common manipulation: she uses you to pour out her emotional negativity.

2. Complexes.

   People can be overly soft-hearted, ready to make a concession, out of dislike. Unfortunately, many have been deprived of love since childhood. Children who are not treated with parental care grow up and create their own families without love. And for some reason they seem unworthy of happiness. They, so unloved and unnecessary, put themselves at the very last level. And those who do not deserve it at all are elevated to heights.

3. Majority influence.

   The art of compromise can help in many situations, but it does not always work for the good. Often people agree to compromise, even if they are disgusted by it. For example, a newcomer appears in the team. And the old-timers (so experienced and venerable) begin to find fault with their “green” colleague. You understand that the majority behave incorrectly, that the young specialist is not to blame for anything. However, you don’t want to go against everyone (what if they start discussing you behind your back), so you communicate evenly with the newcomer, but discuss him with “old” colleagues. That is, do not quarrel with either side, but in fact compromise with your conscience.

In what situations should you not compromise?

1. Never compromise when it comes to dealing with your principles.

   Don't do anything that goes against your sense of decency and morality. For example, if you are not ready to live with a spouse who constantly cheats, then don’t live. Even if he is cheerful, interesting and intelligent. If you cannot forgive betrayal, do not drown out the voice of your reason. And don’t justify the vile cheater.

2. Don't make concessions to people who take advantage of you.

   Let's say your colleague is a pleasant lady in all respects. And he will bring cakes for tea, and share a new secret, and give a compliment. Only part of her work constantly falls on your shoulders, because she easily goes home early. And you also go out on weekends to clear things up. You just can’t refuse help from a co-worker; you’re ready to draw up a report for her, run to the tax office, for example (how can you refuse such a nice person). But they sat on your neck, why do you continue?

3. Agree to mutually beneficial concessions.

   Never compromise if you feel that the game is going one way. Let's say your sister sends her nephew to visit you every weekend. You entertain the child, cook for him, abandon your plans. My sister knows that she can borrow money from you and ask for any help. When you need help, a relative does not have time. She refers to being busy, invited guests, leaving. And you understand that her excuses are a veiled reluctance to meet halfway. Compromise is mutual concessions, remember? Next time, tell her that you have big plans for the weekend, but if she agrees to help with cleaning and grocery shopping, then you can devote some time to her baby.

4. Learn to love yourself.

   Don’t lose your self-esteem, because you are no worse than those around you. You have a lot of good qualities, think about it. Let's say your other half constantly takes negativity out on you. He can be rude, yell, or make a caustic remark in public. But you are silent, because it is easier to endure an insult than to quarrel. Don't allow other people to be rude and insulting. You are a person worthy of respect. So if you offended me, please, apologize and explain the reason for your dissatisfaction.

5. Don't compromise if your intuition is against it.

   First of all, listen to your mind, even if someone is trying to persuade you to make concessions. For example, you occupy a good position. And the neighbor asks to employ her over-aged son in your company. Doubts gnaw at you: the person has never worked for a day, is not serious, and leads the wrong lifestyle. But you don’t want to offend your neighbor, so ask your boss to hire the guy. As a result, he is kicked out of his position, and you bite your elbows about your indiscretion. But my intuition suggested that it would not be worth agreeing in the first place.

Of course, it is impossible to live without compromises. And at work, and in friendship, in personal life, you will sometimes have to make concessions. The main thing is that your interests are taken into account. If you simply hush up grievances, crying into your pillow at night, then there can be no question of any compromises - you are simply being used. And you follow the lead. Love and respect yourself, know how to defend your point of view. And agree to a compromise if you yourself want to. Not at the will of another person.

Gomorov Pavel

Often, in order to conclude a contract, it is necessary to make some concessions, provide a bonus, a discount, or sign an additional agreement beneficial to your partner.

But how to do this so that the discounts you provide do not ruin the company, and the deal is still profitable for you. This is what we will talk about in this article.

Why do people usually resort to bonuses and all kinds of concessions? The answer here is obvious, for an easier and faster deal.

We usually resort to discounts as soon as we encounter any resistance from a partner. Those. At the first obstacle or mismatch between our views and those of our partner, we immediately make concessions.

Or you often have to observe how people, even during the presentation of a product or service, focus the attention of a potential client on bonuses or specials. proposals.

But you can’t do that! All of the above is an example of an incorrect sales strategy.

By giving the client bonuses and discounts at the very beginning of negotiations, we thereby give the client a reason to think that we are ready to make any concessions for him. And we can be milked and milked, like that bottomless cow.

Another disadvantage of premature bonuses and discounts is this. What if we easily make concessions and do not justify the cost of the goods, do not defend our price. The client may think that we are not professionals. After all, what kind of person is this who, having named a price, is immediately ready to move it. One gets the impression that he is not confident in himself or in the quality of his product.

This impression is given to me personally, and probably not only to me, by those people who immediately make concessions.

So how can you sell correctly and not make unnecessary concessions?

First things first, you have to remember. Never talk about price at the beginning of your presentation.

What do you think is the basic rule for successful sales?

And the rule goes like this: “Don’t sell a product, sell a solution to a problem.”

Based on this rule, talk throughout the presentation about the problems that your client can solve by purchasing a service or product from you. After all no problem, no sale. Price is the very last word in the presentation.

After all, no matter how cheap the product is. They will never buy it from you if it is not useful to your client. Therefore, always first talk long and hard about the usefulness of your product or service, and only then about the price.

But it often happens that the client, without listening to your presentation, interrupts you and says: “How much does it cost, what is the price.”

What to do in such a situation? In fact, everything is very simple.

Ask him a counter question right away: “Did I understand you correctly, are you completely clear about all the properties and qualities of this product? Do you fully understand how it can benefit you? And what problems does it solve? And all that’s left is to discuss the price?”

Just first, of course, rephrase this question a little to suit the specifics of your product.

Usually after such a phrase, most people answer that no. Are there any other questions.

Follow up with another question: “So how can we discuss price if we haven’t yet fully figured out what exactly our product can do for you?”

Second. Don't talk about a discount or bonus immediately after the price is announced.

You must remember. That bonuses are provided to the client for something, but not for the fact of purchasing the product itself. The bonus still needs to be earned. This applies especially to long-term sales. The so-called long sales. Where acceptance of a purchase does not happen instantly. And the amounts there are no less than hundreds of thousands of rubles.

You are not obligated to make additional concessions to the client just because he wants it. This is not enough. If everyone is given discounts and bonuses, then how will we survive?

Easily discount the amount on your product or service. You risk becoming a hostage to discounts and losing your much-needed reputation. By constantly lowering the price, you can ensure that later more than one customer will not buy your product at your price. Customers will ask for discounts and concessions constantly. Free of charge. And if you refuse, they will not buy from you. I don't think that's what you want.

I think you have realized that you cannot be the first to talk about discounts and bonuses. Wait until your partner asks about the concessions you are ready to make.

To be honest, everyone probably understands this. By demanding a discount from the seller, pressure is put on him. Thus, the buyer makes it clear that maybe I will buy this product, but only after additional concessions.

And the most important thing here is not to succumb to this pressure. And don’t start laying out all your cards in the hope that they will buy from you if you lower the price. After all, the bonus itself does not guarantee the purchase of the product.

If you are selling a truly competitive and high-quality product and have made a high-quality presentation. Then you have nothing special to fear. After all, both you and the client know that the product is worthy of its price.

Therefore, after the client demands a discount, answer him: “Yes, of course, I understand your desire to receive a discount. But please explain why you think our product is not worthy of its price and insist on a discount?”

Of course, many people don’t like this expression. But we are not a five thousand dollar bill that everyone will like. The main task is to continue negotiations and bring the client into dialogue. Make him think and justify his proposals.

Answers like: “Otherwise we won’t buy from you” or “It’s too expensive for us” should not suit you.

If they still answer you like that. Ask a couple of leading questions: “You won’t buy because you are not satisfied with the product or the price? But the offer is really good” and list the main qualities of your product.

The answer is “expensive” or “the price is high.” Ask your client to justify why he thinks the product is not worth its price. And expensive relative to what. And add that if he explains why he thinks the price of the product is too high, then you will be ready to think about reducing the cost of the product. But don't confuse the client's opinion with arguments. You need arguments, not the client's opinion. And do not hesitate to remind the client that he would not express an opinion, but arguments.

This will be a constructive dialogue, and not banal pressure from the buyer on the seller. Don't forget that you are negotiating. In negotiations, YOU must show that you are an equal party.

But sometimes it happens that one side openly puts pressure on the other and makes this clear in every possible way. The best way out of this situation is to remind the person that he is also not your only client.

But not openly, of course. In this case, you can say something like this: “I have the impression that you are not interested in cooperating with us. If this is so, then I see no point in wasting both my time and yours. If not, then let's have a constructive dialogue. And not to express our personal opinion about a product or service. Let's argue our statements for and against the product"

Don’t be afraid to defend your opinion, you didn’t come to beg. You offer him a solution to his problems. You must force your client to engage in constructive dialogue.

And I already told you how to force it. First, you need to interest the client in your product. Those. show him the solution to his problems.

Another most common request for a discount is: “We compared your prices with your competitors and their prices are cheaper.”

There is no need to be afraid of this phrase. You have every right to ask which competitors you were compared with and by what criteria. And then to agree or disagree is your right.

Personally, I advise you to think about reducing the price if a product that is completely similar to yours is cheaper from competitors. And at the same time, he is not inferior in more than one criterion. Then it makes sense to lower the price.

But fortunately for us, the client is rarely able to objectively compare and analyze your product and the product of your competitors. Often he misses very important little things that are not visible at first glance. This is where we need to focus on these small but no less important things. And explain to the client why your product costs more than an almost identical product from competitors.

Let's return to that moment, if the client does not argue not as his desire to receive a discount, but simply says “I want” and that’s it. When asked to provide arguments and conduct a constructive dialogue, you receive a refusal, what should you do?

Show your regret that your dialogue is not working out. And say something like this: “I understand your desire to pay less, and I deeply respect your opinion. But you must agree that desire alone is not enough for our company to receive less profit. After all, you wouldn’t want to lose money either. Please explain why you think the price is too high. We are ready to make concessions, but only if you provide objective reasons for this.”

Of course, after this phrase the dialogue may end and negotiations may not take place. There is a lot of envy here depending on how you spoke with your opponent before. Have you talked about the advantages of your product and the problems it solves?

But if despite all this the negotiations end, do not be upset. It is not possible to sell everything to everyone. Such people would still not buy anything from you. To win such a client, they need to give everything for free. But this doesn't suit us. This is not our strategy. There are still many companies in the world that need your product.

This was one strategy. But there is a second one...

Which? It is discussed in detail in the course "An effective method of conducting business negotiations", which you can get for free by following the link

There are people who have difficulty making concessions to others. And there are those who do it with joy, because the purpose of the concession is to generate income. We are talking about the assignment of claims to real estate

A familiar scenario: as soon as an ordinary buyer learns about the opening of sales in some new residential complex, it turns out that the most desirable apartments in it have already been sold out. However, closer to the completion date of the house, the opportunity to buy an apartment still appears, and good options on the middle floors are even cheaper than their less attractive counterparts from the developer. The realtor only clarifies: the apartment is being sold by assignment.

Air sellers

According to experts, this phrase stops many. It is one thing to check and buy an apartment from the developer, this scheme has already been worked out, or to purchase housing through purchase and sale from another individual. But the prospect of buying an unfinished, that is, not yet available in nature object that has already been purchased by someone, frightens many. After all, the primary market is primary because the apartment should go to its owner literally untouched.

However, in fact, there are many reasons why an unfinished apartment can be sold. One of them, of course, justifies the buyer's fears. Sometimes they want to assign the rights of claim (precisely claims, since the apartment itself does not yet exist) for housing if the first buyer has learned something unflattering about the developer. For example, a person acquired these very rights of claim (in other words, he bought an apartment on the primary market, in an unfinished building) and soon learned that this developer was unreliable, his previous projects were delivered with a great delay, and he was already suing his shareholders. Of course, you had to check this before purchasing, but under time pressure, when every day there are fewer and fewer liquid “one-room” ones, you can easily lose your vigilance. According to realtors, such cases are not uncommon in the market.

But much more often, investment apartments are sold by assignment of rights of claim. Investors monitor the market situation, evaluate the possible benefits, which most often depend on the speed of construction of the house, and buy housing at the earliest stages of construction. Then, after a couple of years, when there is very little time left before the house is put into operation and it is quite easy to find a buyer, the investor sells this property at a premium. Usually it turns out cheaper than from the developer, whose proposals by that time have already seriously increased in price. This option is also beneficial for the buyer: the risks of “unfinished construction” are minimized.

Finally, no one canceled the notorious “family circumstances”. Some marriages break up much faster than a house is built, and then the apartment, which was supposed to become a family nest, turns out to be just a reminder of the divorce. Such split cells of society are ready to sell the rights of claim without a markup at all, just to quickly close this issue. The buyer can only spend time and figure out which of the listed cases his assignment applies to.

Moments “de jure”

The basic legal aspects of the assignment are regulated by 214-FZ “On participation in shared construction of apartment buildings and other real estate and on amendments to certain legislative acts of the Russian Federation.” Article 11 of the law states that the assignment by a participant in shared construction of the rights of claims under the contract is allowed only after he has paid the contract price or simultaneously with the transfer of the debt to a new participant in shared construction in the manner established by the Civil Code of the Russian Federation. The Code, in turn, clarifies (Articles 389, 391) that the debtor’s transfer of his debt to another person is permitted only with the consent of the creditor, and the assignment of a claim under a transaction requiring state registration must be registered in the manner established for the registration of this transaction, unless otherwise provided by law. Simply put, the buyer must pay his price or transfer the debt to himself if the lender, bank or developer allows it, and register the assignment of the claim as required by law. Article 17 214-FZ directly states: “The agreement and (or) assignment of rights of claims under the agreement are subject to state registration with the authorities carrying out state registration of rights to real estate and transactions with it, in the territory of the registration district at the location of the apartment building under construction (created) and (or) other real estate for the construction of which funds are raised in accordance with this agreement, in the manner prescribed by the Federal Law “On State Registration of Rights to Real Estate and Transactions with It.”

According to the law, the right to claim can be assigned from the moment of state registration of the contract until the parties sign the transfer deed or other document on the transfer of the shared construction project, as stated in the same 11 Article 214-FZ.

Difficulties “de facto”

In practice, experts warn: the main thing is to personally check all the documents in the relationship between the seller and the developer. Often, along with the rights of claim, you can at the same time acquire all the former debts of the former owner to the developer, which he forgot to pay off before the transfer of rights. Perhaps he forgot to deposit part of the money, received installments, could be late in payments, and a penalty was added to them. All this baggage can then pass to the second buyer of the claim. If these issues are not resolved before concluding the contract, then later it can be declared invalid altogether, and the developer will refuse to transfer the apartment to the buyer. If the inspection reveals any underpayments on the part of the seller, he must either eliminate them or, by agreement with the buyer, reduce the cost of transferring the rights of claim by warning the developer about this. The latter must also know about the change of owners in order to avoid confusion when preparing documents. Often the developer simply cannot keep track of how many times and to whom his original shareholders assigned their rights of claim. Also, informing the developer about the change of the second party can protect the buyer from selling the property he is interested in to several people.

You need to ask the developer himself for the entire package of documents required for the initial transaction. The developer needs to be checked as carefully as if the housing was purchased not from the first owner of the claim rights, but from the developer himself: his reputation, already completed projects, the speed of their construction, customer reviews, the activity of workers at the site of interest, etc.

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