A sad female story of love and... death. A very sad story of love and death... Little stories about love and death, conversations

SHE was beautiful, really beautiful, but not everyone saw it, or rather did not want to see it. She loved…. She loved as much as her poor, tormented heart was capable of loving, gave the warmth of her most beautiful soul, did not spare her life, which was subsequently broken and trampled. She was sensitive and gentle, loving and understanding. She was abandoned, but she did not allow this swamp of grief to suck her in and leave her in its arms forever. They bent it, but they couldn’t break it. She was strong, but at the same time fragile and defenseless...
HE admired her, although he was not aware of it. He needed her, although he did not want to admit it, neither to himself nor to her. After the failure he experienced, he was afraid to love and therefore avoided her. But the heart was stronger than the mind and self-defense: it either brought her closer or further away. His feelings and emotions were in turmoil, which caused such actions in her direction. And she, like a little creature who had just emerged into the big world, looked at it with eyes full of tears and misunderstanding... No, people like her are hard to find, there are only a few of them. What a pity that these few are fading into oblivion, just like she did. One circumstance and accident, but for someone so desired, destroys not one life, but several.
She wanted this and therefore waited for it with special patience. She knew that soon someone from above would reward her for all the pain that she had experienced, for the suffering that had burned out her pure, innocent soul. He became the last straw in a huge sea of ​​bitterness. He was the last hope, the light that the tormented soul yearns for, wandering in the dark labyrinths of terrible pain. She never saw this light, never basked in the rays of its power. He didn’t come to her, or rather he came too late, when she was already on the edge... She was still alive, but Faith and Hope had already faded away. Their lifeless bodies, invisible to anyone, lay at her feet. And she followed them in order to reunite with them again and exist as long as they are destined to now, that is, Eternity...
It was an accident, an accident, or so everyone thought. Some force deliberately prevented her from hearing the squeal of brakes. The reward was more than deserved: she did not feel pain, only warmth spread through her body like a sweet balm. She thanked God for the joy he had given her, as well as for his love. She loved him and, even in the last seconds of her life, thought about him. And these thoughts no longer caused her acute pain, there was only sadness and regret that she did not have time to tell him so much...
And he had a blow when he was told about everything... Crystal eyes looking somewhere into the distance, past objects and people, and emptiness, emptiness in the soul...
...Swaying slightly, standing on weak legs, he admired her. Nothing could take away from her what was rightfully hers: beauty... Only skin, unnaturally white: the only sign that shows that there is no more life in this body. Along with admiration reflected somewhere deep down, his eyes expressed wild, burning pain, the pain of a hunted animal caught in a snare. They shouted, but the voice did not obey. The cry of the soul froze in a silent stupor...
And only after the rough lid had closed over her tender face did he realize what he had lost after all. The pain inexorably washed over me in a cold wave. It was difficult for him to remember what happened next. Awareness of reality came to him only when he found himself in his room, closed from prying eyes, left alone with the pain. Now you can think about it. But about what? He only understood that he would never recover from this loss, because he needed it so much. Yes, he loved her, loved her more than life itself, but he realized it too late and did not have time to say it. She was able to destroy his principles and melt the ice in his heart. He knew that there would be no one like her in his life again...
Two years have passed... This was the second spring he had seen without her. It always rained on this day. These were his tears that remained inside. But, no matter what, on this day he always visited her. His feelings were mixed: sadness, pain, bitterness, misunderstanding, and also gratitude that she was able to awaken feelings in him, although he thought that he had lost this ability forever. Warmth had long appeared in his soul, but he did not give this warmth to anyone. It belonged to the one who was gone forever, gone from life, but not from his heart. He will love her until the end of his days and in his last moments he will thank God for giving him death. And when his body dies, their souls will meet. They will understand each other without words and, holding hands, will rise to the stars...

It’s probably hard to imagine more disgusting weather for December. The thermometer has been at zero for four days now. A light rain is falling from the sky, ice is treacherously lurking at the bottom of the puddles, waiting for a belated pedestrian to plunge into the water with all his might. It’s good if your clothes get dirty, but you might even get injured.

So, I’ll start my story...

That day I walked along the sidewalk like a sapper, feeling with my American combat boots for the safest path, trying to stay on the treacherous ice and shivering from the wind. Even the evening New Year's lights were not pleasing to the eye. The windows shone with comfort and warmth. It seemed that everything was fine with people - the family was gathered, watching TV, discussing plans for the holidays. And I walk aimlessly through the wet city. I don't really want to go home. Who's waiting for me? Who needs me? I haven’t put things in order for a long time, simply because no one will come to visit me, no one will appreciate my efforts and no one will judge me for the mess. Well, it’ll do for me anyway.

A girl in a red leather coat loomed ahead of me. Black hair fell beautifully over her shoulders and flowed over her shoulder blades. The rain seemed to be afraid to touch this beauty; drops of water flowed down her hair without stopping.

Should I get acquainted or not? She is pure magnificence, and who am I? A costumed watchman in the service of the armed forces. I stand at the checkpoint of a military unit every other day, and on weekends I walk aimlessly through the streets. Contract soldier. Yes, I make good money, but without education, without any prospects. Who needs me? Or maybe still take a risk?

I quickened my pace and soon caught up with the stranger. Her face seemed to have been copied from a painting. Huge blue eyes, clear pale skin, thin bright line of lips and an upturned nose. No, she will send me. I quickly walked another hundred meters and turned around near a lamppost to admire the ideal one last time.

The girl approached the pedestrian crossing, looked left and right. Oh, what a profile she had... Then, I remember, I was blinded by headlights, then a dull blow, the squeal of brakes and a red raincoat, spread out on the wet asphalt. The driver called an ambulance, and I blew more and more portions of air into her scarlet lips. I hit her chest and pumped her dead heart like a pump. The ambulance arrived five minutes later. After they pulled me away, I stood stupidly and watched the actions of the doctors. Death came instantly - that's what the mustachioed man in a blue jacket told me.

Every day then I saw her in my dreams. I approached her, we introduced ourselves, and a loaded KamAZ flew past, splashing her red raincoat. Sometimes she sent me, sometimes she told me her name, but she always remained alive. Marina.

A year has passed since those events. My colleagues say that I have become even more unsociable and silent. No, actually, I'm very talkative. But I mostly speak with a tape recorder. I walk down the street and speak my thoughts and memories into the headset, pouring out my pain into the digital bosom of the player. The headset is the best invention of mankind. A person muttering into a microphone does not seem as crazy as a person talking to himself.

Now I am walking along the same street as on that fateful day when I met and lost my love. Lanterns and New Year's garlands are constantly shining.

December fifteenth two thousand and thirteen. Eighteen fifty seven. Seven minutes to a year ago she died. I'm sorry, Marinochka, that I didn't meet you then. I'm sorry I chickened out.
Crap! Can't be! Guys, I see a red cloak and black hair ahead of me. Marina!!! That's her. (frequent clatter of steps, shortness of breath)

Marina, were the doctors really mistaken? You are alive!!! I was so afraid!
(silence)

You probably don't remember me. You had an accident a year ago. I wanted to meet you, but I was scared. And here is KamAZ. And the doctor said that you are dead.
(silence again)

How are they dead? Are you joking? Yes, I see you and I can even touch you. Here. So you are alive. Marinochka, please don’t leave. I've been mourning you for a year. You are the love of my life. Yes, I would go to the ends of the earth for you...
(silence)

Yes, yes, Marina. I want to be with you!
(a voice that seemed to burst into the air of a radio station from another wave - quiet, lifeless, but definitely belonging to a woman)

Then let's go.
(crackling, noise, rumble, crackling again)

* * *
I'm an emergency medical technician. On December 15, 2013 at 19.04 I received a call for an accident. An ordinary “path” - a KamAZ truck rolled a young guy along the road. Cranial, a lot of fractures. Death came instantly. The KamAZ driver claimed that the guy seemed to have been pushed, although there was no one next to him. The traffic cops later told me that he even showed the video recording.
When we were packing the corpse, I recognized the guy. About a year ago, at the same intersection, he tried to resuscitate a dead girl. I’ve seen a lot, but then I was impressed by the frenzy with which he performed artificial respiration on a complete stranger.

Well, okay, that's not the point. Yesterday my sister, with whom I was on duty that night, came to see me. Pale and in tears, she showed me the recorder. Sveta explained that she found it on the floor at the end of her shift, and today she decided to listen to it so she would know who to return it to.

I silently put it on play. We listened to the recordings half the night, getting to know the inner world of the young man. We ran through the last entry ten times, after which I transcribed it and now present it to your attention. After all, you love mysticism, and after twenty years of work I’m tired of it.

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We separated. That's how it happened.
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The person has left your life - your life. And he won’t be anymore, he doesn’t want to anymore... imagine, he finds new love,
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Lenka woke up with the sun shining right in her face. The feeling is not pleasant. This surprised her a little: Lena loved the bright sun and clear days. And here it really hurts the eyes. She stretched out on the bed, wondering if it was time to get up or if she could still lie down.

Kitty Kitty Kitty! - she called Pushka, who was sitting on a chair nearby and looking at her strangely.

Lenka tried to touch him with her hand, but the cat arched his back, hissed angrily and hid under the nightstand in the hallway. “Hmm... seems the baby is angry? Oh, exactly! I forgot to buy him food! Nothing! He won’t die until the evening!”

And suddenly she remembered everything: yesterday’s scandal with her older sister Anna, the showdown with her beloved. Night gatherings with someone unknown in a bar, an argument with a taxi driver who did not want to drive in the rain on the road past the quarry... From the alcohol she drank in the evening, obviously too much, there was a strange feeling that the body did not belong to her, and her mood was not the best . “One way or another, I’ll have to go to Anka’s, pick up my son, whom I left with her for the weekend, and I should call my beloved as soon as possible...”

Lenka understood that everyone with whom she argued yesterday was right, alas... She lied to her sister for four years, telling fables that her son’s father was a completely different person. And now the truth has come out... And Anka exploded:

How could you contact him? Not only is he married, he is also the husband of my best friend! It's outrageous! I am ashamed of you!

Anka, don’t be too heavy, you are very correct... Everyone fights for their own happiness...

Have you thought about her? You fight for your own happiness at the expense of someone else's life!

Why should I care about someone else's problems? I have enough of my own troubles!

Someone else's? Have you forgotten that when my parents passed away and I ended up in the hospital, it was Lisa who took you to her place? That she treated you like her beloved little (note: love-my!) sister? And then you climbed into bed with her husband? Do you understand that she won’t survive if she finds out the truth about your relationship?

Lenka understood. Lisa is very, very good. But... it happened... Fate. It’s not her and Mitya’s fault that they fell in love with each other.

You know that Lisa is sick... How long does she have left in this world? Do you want to shorten the life of a person who treated you so well?

I love him. And I will fight for him to the end!

You can’t build your happiness on someone else’s grief! No matter how hackneyed this phrase may be, but...

Lenka jumped out of the apartment, slamming the door: “I’m fed up! I'm sick of everything! It's time to talk to him again. Something needs to be decided! Why should I think about her and not about my son Artem, who needs a father? Although... I know perfectly well what Mitya will answer...” Naturally, the conversation with my beloved did not yield anything:

Lena, I told you a hundred times: to divorce Lisa means to kill her: a sick heart can’t stand it!

I hate both you and her! - Lenka screamed into the phone, disconnected and cried: - I want to die!

Lenka remembered that then there was a bar, it seems, more than one...

She went into the kitchen and made a sandwich and coffee as usual. The food and drink seemed tasteless. I dialed my sister’s phone and began:

Hello? Anh, let's not raise this topic anymore, okay? It hurts me myself, but understand, it’s not our fault that we fell in love... That’s how fate decreed it! Hissing in the receiver, then Anna’s voice from somewhere far away:

Call back, we can't hear you!

“Doesn’t want to talk to me? Well, okay!"

Then I made up my mind and called Mitya:

Mitka, listen... There is silence on the phone.

Well, Mitya...

Not a word in response!

“Angry? Well, let!" I got dressed and left the apartment. I ran into my neighbor on the stairs:

Good morning, Maria Petrovna! But the always talkative and friendly old lady did not even look at her and went up the stairs. Baba Katya, who was sitting on a bench at the entrance, and the janitor Semenych reacted to Lenka in exactly the same way: they looked at Lenka as if she were an empty place. “It’s strange... Was I rowdy yesterday? Okay, it will grind, there will be flour!

There was no one at the stop. Lenka approached the taxi, which seemed to be waiting for her. The car started moving, but the driver didn’t even ask where she should go. She named the street and house number, but he chuckled strangely in response. The old man's face seemed familiar to her.

Here they are at the sister's house.

Can you wait for me for a few minutes?

There's no point in going anywhere... they won't see or hear you anymore.

I don’t understand... Why? He sighed heavily.

You do not remember anything?

N-no...

He sighed again:

I don't want to disappoint you, but you and I died yesterday...

What?! - Lenka yelled.

On a slippery road we fell into a construction quarry...

She began to remember something.

Do you remember what you screamed when you got into my car drunk? No? You screamed that you wanted to die... Literally in a minute I thought about the same thing...

What about you?

I have cancer, severe pain, I don’t want to be a burden for my daughter... We ourselves called the old woman with a scythe, alas... And she heard us.

Lenka couldn’t believe what she heard.

Are we no more? - She thought for a while. - So that’s why no one sees me...

What do you mean he doesn't see? - asked the taxi driver.

Well, from the neighbors... And my cat hissed when I called him...

What did you want? - the man chuckled. - People in this world do not see the dead, but animals feel very keenly.

They were silent for a while. Everyone thought about their own things. Tears streamed down Lenka's face.

Do you want me to show you something? - the taxi driver suggested and, without waiting for an answer, wiped the foggy windshield of the car. Suddenly, as if out of a fog, a picture appeared: a courtyard illuminated by the sun. Her father and mother are sitting in the gazebo, drinking tea; next to her, in a rocking chair, her grandmother, as usual, is knitting something.

Should I go to them? After all, they also died... Oh, and who are these two girls waving their hands at us?

Your children...

I have a son...

These are your unborn daughters. Do you remember how you terminated your pregnancy five years ago? You had twins. And you killed them then...

Lenka rushed forward:

I will ask them for forgiveness...

Do not rush. They have forgiven you. But you can't go to them now.

Why? Are we dead?

We have not yet entered the world of the dead. We are between worlds... You and I have not been found yet. Everyone knows that we died, an oncoming car saw us, but the quarry is very deep, more than sixty meters, it’s winter, the divers do not agree to go to the bottom... It’s very dangerous...

What about Artem? My sister Anka? Mitya? - she cried.

They will dream about you.

Sleep is the boundary between two worlds, a personal space where the world of the dead meets the world of the living...

But what then? Well, when will we be buried?

The man said dully:

- “Souls fly away, fly away...

And everyone in the world knows about their loved ones. And when trouble knocks on their house, they fly to the windows like a white bird...”

Beautiful poems... did you write?

No, it's from the Internet! Lenka looked at him somehow incredulously.

Do you think I've been a taxi driver all my life? Previously, daughter, I was a teacher at school. After the death of his wife, he started drinking and... this is the result: an incurable disease and... but I digress. When you get to the world of the dead, you will still remain close to your loved ones. You will touch your face with a ray of sun, you will fall like a snowflake, a drop of rain... You will knock on the window with the wind, you will fly like a white bird onto the windowsill...

How do you know this?

I already had clinical death. Then they saved me... -I love my loved ones very much and want them to be happy...

I woke up with a heavy heart, my soul was unbearably painful: Lenka was no more. I will never hear her laugh, I will never see her cute dimples on her cheeks. I wanted to howl in despair. And suddenly a phrase appeared in my brain: “A dream is the boundary between two worlds, a personal space where the world of the dead meets the world of the living...”

And it dawned on me. I saw her dream, a mortal dream, in which she tried to understand what had happened! "Nonsense! It doesn’t happen like that!” Suddenly the faces of those little girls, unborn twins, appeared before my eyes. I felt bitter about Lenka’s abortion. I am that same Mitya...

The room smelled of cigarette smoke. I crawled into the kitchen. Liza, my wife, stood near the window, chilly wrapped in a scarf.

Have you started smoking again? You can't!

“I don’t care anymore,” she said indifferently and added: “I feel sorry for her... A bitch, of course, but not a bad woman.” She was also unlucky in life. Who will your son stay with now?

At first I was speechless, and then I squeezed out:

Did you know everything? About your son?

Yes... I knew...

Why was she silent?

What to say? You know, my heart can’t stand it for long. The days are already numbered. I can’t give birth, and I can’t make love either - even strong positive emotions are prohibited. What can I give you? What will I leave behind? Nothing. Emptiness.

I went to the buffet, poured myself half a glass of cognac and drank it in one gulp. I didn’t know what to talk about with my wife now, how to justify myself, and is it even worth it? And then he almost fell when Lisa said:

A dream is a boundary between two worlds, a personal space where the world of the dead meets the world of the living... I dreamed about Lenka today... She asked for forgiveness and begged to take care of her son... You must take him! After all, according to her, it is officially registered in your name? I was silent.

Can you hear me? - the wife asked nervously.

What are we going to do with it? I've been at work all day... And you... feel bad...

We'll manage. I promised Lenka. I must!

Lisa, it was a dream, well, or an obsession inspired by stress. You don't owe anyone anything!

You must! - the wife shouted and grabbed her heart.

You feel bad? - I was worried.

Yes, I feel bad that the person I love actually turns out to be heartless and cold! Don't you understand? The boy has no one now! He's all alone!

He has Anna...

No aunt can replace your own father! I consider the conversation over. Start doing paperwork.

But everything turned out to be not so simple. After all, at that time taxis had not yet been picked up. Yes, some

the guy noticed how Lenka got into this particular car, other people saw: the car flew into a quarry, but no one will issue a death certificate until the bodies are identified. Officially, it’s as if they weren’t dead. I called Anna:

Give me my son!

No! If it weren't for you, maybe my sister would be alive.

And then Lisa came to the rescue:

I'll talk to her... She'll understand. I don’t know the details of their conversation, but a couple of days later the doorbell rang. Anna and Artemka are on the threshold.

“Dad,” the son screamed joyfully. - How I missed you. Do you know that mommy left?

Where? “I don’t know why,” I asked, confused.

On a business trip. For a long time. And Aunt Anya said that now I will live with you. Is it true?

Certainly...

And who are you? - the baby turned to Lisa.

I? I'm your dad's wife. My name is Lisa.

Do you have children?

No,” it was clear that it was difficult for her to answer.

It's a pity. Maybe they will show up later? So the son settled with us.

That same day I dreamed about Lenka: “Thank you... I will be with you. And I will help...” And I remembered again: “A dream is the boundary between two worlds, a personal space where the world of the dead meets the world of the living...”

Artem very quickly became attached to Lisa, and she also became attached to him. And then I heard their conversation, which made me feel uneasy:

Aunt Lisa, will mom arrive soon? I miss her so much!

No, Temochka, not soon... But, believe me, she is always next to you! She thinks about you constantly...

But I don’t see her?

She touches your face with a ray of sunshine, falls like a snowflake, a drop of rain... Knocks with the wind, flies like a bird onto your window... - before she had time to say this, her son screamed:

Aunt Lisa, look, there's mom! - and pointed to the white dove sitting on the windowsill. - Did she come to say “Good morning” to me? - Yes baby...

And I, a grown man who, as they say, had lived through Crimea and Rome, stood outside the door and could barely hold back my tears. ...The bodies of Lenka and the taxi driver were raised in the spring. They buried their beloved in a closed coffin. Not to say goodbye, not to see for the last time, not to touch... I never dreamed of her again. But a day after the funeral, Lisa unexpectedly said:

A dream is a boundary between two worlds, a personal space where the world of the dead meets the world of the living... Larisa came to me. She said it was the last time. And there was also a strange phrase: “I give you my heart...” Probably she was just saying thank you.

We understood what this phrase meant a few weeks later, when Lisa was admitted for a routine examination.

- It can not be! — The doctor threw up his hands in surprise. - It seems that your wife has a completely healthy heart. Without any signs of illness. Tell me, where were you treated? Abroad?

She gave her her heart... - I muttered in shock.

What? Who gave it? - the cardiologist did not understand my phrase.

I didn't answer. Because it’s very difficult for me to believe this myself. Did a deceased woman give her unspent health to her living rival? This is from the realm of science fiction novels!

Two years have passed since Lenka's death. Artem calls Lisa mom. My wife became a completely different person. She used to be timid, sickly and quiet. She walked silently, like a shadow. And now her laughter can be heard more and more often in the house... She has grown stronger, is making plans for the future and is no longer thinking about death. And I know who to mentally thank for this: my beloved Lenka, who gave her heart when she was lost between two worlds and was waiting for liberation...

And recently we found out that Lisa and I will have a child... a girl... And again the words brought by angels on white wings from another world ring in our heads: “A dream is the boundary between two worlds, a personal space where the world meets.” the dead with the world of the living... I will help in any way I can"

I don’t want to sound crazy, but I often feel Lenka as if she’s somewhere nearby. And then I remember the words of the elderly taxi driver from Lenka’s posthumous dream: “You will always be next to them. You will touch your face with a ray of sun, you will fall like a snowflake, a drop of rain... You will knock on the window with the wind, you will fly like a white bird onto the windowsill...

I love them too much and want them to be happy... And it hurts me so much that I won’t be able to talk to my son, touch him...

Everything depends only on you!"

And then I think: “Thank you, Lenka. Thank you for your son, for giving your heart to Lisa, for the fact that my wife has become completely different... Thank you for the daughter who will be born soon... Thank you for your boundless love for all of us... I love you too . And I know that sooner or later we will meet.” Souls fly away, fly away... They cover their loved ones with their wings, They hug their loved ones with the warm wind. Souls fly away, fly away...

Phone call. 2am.

- Hello. I love you.

– Hello (smiles).

- How are you without me? Sorry it's so late...

- Never mind. Leshka, I miss you so much, when are you coming?

– The sun is just a little bit left, just a couple of hours and I’m home. Let's talk, otherwise I've been driving for 10 hours, I'm tired, I have no strength, but your voice invigorates me and gives me strength.

- Of course, let's talk. Come on, tell me how your business trip ended? He probably cheated on me (smiles)?

- Lyubanya, how can you joke like that, I love you so much that I don’t even look at anyone. And at work I managed to do a lot, a lot. I am sure that after all this, at least my salary will be raised. Here. And how do you feel? Is our baby pushing?

“He’s pushing... that’s not saying enough, I don’t understand what I did to him.” And, you know, usually when I hear your voice it’s all calmness, but now, on the contrary, something has gone wrong. Why did you decide to drive into the night? I should have rested and gone, otherwise... That’s how you left, tell me.

- Well, how, how: after the last negotiations, I got into the car, drove to the hotel to get my things and moved towards the house. Somewhere in the second half of the journey, about an hour and a half ago, don’t worry, I passed out, but just for a couple of seconds. Everything is fine, thank God, but feeling tired again, I decided to call you so as not to fall asleep again.

- So how can I not worry? Wait a second, the city guy is calling. At a time like this, who could it be? Wait a second.

- Sotnikova Lyubov?

- Yes. Who is this?

- Senior Sergeant Klimov. Sorry it's so late, we found a car that was involved in an accident. According to the documents, the person inside is Alexey Valerievich Sotnikov. Is this your husband?

- Yes. But this can’t be, I’m talking to him on my cell phone right now.

- Hello, Lesha. Lyosha, answer! Here they tell me that you crashed. Hello! The only response was a barely audible hiss from the speaker.

- Hello. Sorry, but I actually just talked to him.

- Sorry, but this is impossible. The medical expert stated that death occurred about an hour and a half ago. I'm really sorry. Sorry, we need you to come for identification. How much do you have to love and want to return home in order not to notice death...

Every April 15, she and her son come to see him at the cemetery. Alyoshka is an exact copy of his father. And he often says, “Hi, I love you,” which was his dad’s favorite expression. He knows that his parents loved each other very much, he knows that his parents were really looking forward to his appearance, he loves them very much. And also, every time he comes to the cemetery with his mother, he comes up to the stove, hugs her as much as he can and says: “Hello, dad” and begins to tell how he is doing, how he built a house out of cubes, how he drew a cat, how he scored his the first goal, how he loves and helps his mother. Lyuba constantly, looking at her son, smiles and tears run down her cheek... A young handsome guy smiles from a gray gravestone, as before. He will always be 23 years old. Thanks to the master, who even conveyed the expression of his beloved eyes. Below she asked to make an inscription: “You are gone forever, but not from my heart...” His cell phone was never found at the scene of the accident and she expects that someday he will definitely call her again..