What to do to be a good friend. How to be a good friend

Friendship is something that not a single person on our planet can do without. Every person wants to have real friends. Moreover, we are talking specifically about friends, relationships with whom are based on equality and selflessness, and not about those who maintain relationships with you only to obtain their own benefits.

First, you must realize that the planets and stars do not revolve only around you, and you are not the center of the universe. Become simpler and understand that you are surrounded by exactly the same people as you. You must learn to talk to them without arrogance, bias, or contempt.

It goes without saying that no one can completely avoid conflict situations, but it is necessary to try to ensure that they are resolved as quickly as possible. If quarrels are a normal model of communication for you, then there is no need to talk about any friendship.

One of the main distinguishing features of a good friend is that he will never reveal other people's secrets to anyone.

If a person right and left tells secrets that were entrusted to him by other people, not a single person will want to have anything to do with him.

An essential quality for someone who is interested in how to become a good friend, should be the ability to provide support and sympathy to loved ones. If necessary, you should be the first to offer help on your part, and not wait until you are asked for it.

For those who want to learn how to make friends themselves and make good friends, we can recommend the following tips:
1. The first thing you need to do is accept yourself with all your characteristics. If you can't do this, then how can others accept you?
2. When you accept yourself, you realize that you are ready to accept others. Every person has their own shortcomings, but don't be too harsh on others and remember that you aren't perfect either.

3. Try to spend time with people close and important to you. Very often this is difficult to do because of things that seem more important to you. However, if you move communication to the top of your list of life priorities, you will have time for everything.

4. Learn to listen to people. Despite its apparent simplicity, the art of listening to people is very complex. Very often we ignore the information that our interlocutors tell us during a conversation. If you want to become a good friend, then you must pay attention to everything that others tell you.

6. Do not forget that on each issue, any individual person has his own point of view, which seems to him the most correct. A true friend will always take this into account and, instead of trying to convince someone, will first try to understand his thoughts.

7. In order to become closer to someone, you need to find common ground and common interests with him. This will help you build friendships. In order for the search for common topics not to become something difficult and impossible for you, you must constantly work on yourself, constantly expanding your horizons.

8. The most important thing you should always remember is that if someone close to you needs help, you should not wait until they ask you for it. You simply must take the initiative into your own hands and do everything to help your friends in difficult situations for them.

Today it is not so easy to find loyal and good friends, but how to become the best and good friend, not everyone knows. After all, in order for good and loyal friends to appear in your life, you need to become a good and loyal friend yourself. We are selfish and only love to receive love and attention from friends, but we ourselves do not give anything to them.

In this article you will learn how to become good and the best friend , because without this, in fact, good friends will not appear in your life. No one wants to be friends with selfish people, except perhaps because of mutual benefit. Learn to be a true friend and make friends just like that, without profit or selfishness, then you will have the best friends.

Never betray your friends

Never leave a friend in trouble

To become a best friend , no need to leave a friend in trouble, no matter how scary it may be. A true friend is in trouble and even risks his life to save his friend. Therefore, if you are not ready to give your life to save a friend, then it is too early for you to be friends with anyone. If you are able to leave a friend in trouble, then you will be left in trouble when you need help, and your friends are no longer there.

Help your friends

Of course, to become a better and good friend, you need to at least sometimes help your friends, just like that, without asking for any reward or reward. But this does not mean that you should only be a helper for the sake of your friends, when they only call you when they need your help.

Do common things

Trust your friends

To become a better and good friend, you need to learn to trust your friends. If you trust, then they will trust. But remember, only 1-2 friends out of 10 will remain after problems with you, when you need help, but sometimes there is no one left. But this does not mean that you don’t need to trust anyone and live alone, be friends, trust, but don’t be upset if this happens, but on the contrary, be happy because you will find out who your real friend is.

Instructions

Make friends with yourself first. Realize all your strengths and weaknesses, mistakes and character. Accept yourself as you are. Only after you have understood and accepted yourself will you learn to understand and accept other people. Try to realize that other people are just as far from ideal. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages. Perhaps these shortcomings will irritate you greatly. But your negative aspects of character can also drive someone crazy at times. Based on this, you will understand that if you want, you can make friends with anyone.

In the modern world, many people are sorely lacking time for interpersonal relationships. In the first place - study, work, family. Many people cannot spare even a couple of hours to find a good friend or communicate with existing friends. The problem of lack of time is a problem of assessing life values. Start to value personal relationships more and you will always find time to communicate with friends. Otherwise, in your old age, you may suffer from the fact that you spent your life mediocrely and did not have time to communicate enough with friends and loved ones.

Learn to listen and hear your interlocutors. This is a very valuable quality for establishing friendly relationships. Learn to understand what they say to you, what meaning they put into their words, learn to delve into the problems of your interlocutor, remember them. A friend will often share their problems with you, seeking advice, support, or comfort. If you manage to help him with this, this will be a manifestation of good friendship.

Try to give your friends a piece of yourself. Share your hobbies, interesting stories, knowledge. Make your life bright and interesting so that your friends want to participate in it. Every good friend should bring something good into the other's life. This is the only way you can become spiritually richer from communication, from your friendship.

Look for something you have in common. And to have a better chance of finding common ground, expand your horizons and erudition. Try to become an interesting person, show interest in various aspects of life. This is the only way that other people’s conversations will be understandable, accessible and interesting to you. And you will not only be able to support someone else’s conversation, but also continue it so that you are heard. When you become a good and interesting conversationalist, people will strive to be friends with you.

Trust your friends, don't deceive them or try to hide something. Be open and sincere in your dealings with them. When you hear about your friend’s problems and failures, offer your own help. And provide this help. Real help, real deeds and not just the little things. Be honest with your friend: if he makes any mistake, don't be afraid to tell him the truth.

Of course, we all have families, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, which means we don’t experience any particular lack of communication. However, do you know how to be your own best friend, without fear of being branded a narcissistic egoist? And if not, then how can you “make friends” with yourself?

1. Find a personal hobby

It is very important to choose an activity that you can truly relax and enjoy. It will help you abstract a little from the rest of the world and tune in to yourself. There is no need to rely on someone else's schedule when you can set aside some time just for yourself.

2. Be honest with yourself

People lie to themselves more often than you think. We tend to lie about why we can't do something, keep a promise, or come to the rescue. As with all relationships, being honest with yourself is a must. If you hide even from yourself your own feelings and needs, desires and aspirations, how will you then give yourself the right advice? So don’t be afraid to admit your weaknesses and shortcomings - you will understand yourself in any case.

3. Strive for quality, not perfection.

You need to set goals not only in terms of, say, your career, but also in terms of becoming a better person every day. You'll likely encounter some challenges along the way, but don't let that stop you. You can strive to be better, stronger, more productive, but just don’t try to be perfect, perfect and infallible.

4. Talk to yourself

Believe me, happy and successful people often talk to themselves, and this is not a sign of madness. Such a conversation can take the form of a written diary or oral dialogue. It really helps you understand how you feel and perceive your emotions so you can better manage them and make the best decisions. Remember that you are your biggest critic and most loyal fan.

5. Choose yourself

And most importantly, choose yourself. In your life, you should be your No. 1 choice, along with your talents, pros and cons, shortcomings and even vices. You are alone, which means you are unique and inimitable. Don’t become someone’s shadow, it’s better to make strong friends with yourself and learn to understand and hear yourself.

Maintaining strong friendships is not easy, especially as you grow older. If you want to become a better friend, find opportunities to talk with friends about life events and time to meet. One of the key aspects of deep friendships is the ability to support your friends and remember mutual respect in conflict situations.

Steps

How to develop friendship

1. Find opportunities to communicate as often as possible. Communication is an important component of friendships. Try to call each other and discuss everything in the world at least once a week or two weeks! Talk about life events, discuss common interests and arrange meetings.

   • Even if everyone is very busy, find opportunities to talk or exchange messages throughout the week. This way you will maintain close relationships even if it is impossible to see each other often.
   • Reassure your friend that you are always there and ready to help, even if there is not always an opportunity to meet or talk.

2. Try new things together. If you have always wanted to see Baikal or just go to a new cafe, then include friends in your plans. New experiences shared will become memories and topics for discussion.

   • If you want to be in a new situation together, you can plan a trip or simply cook a new dish.
   • You can sign up for painting or pottery courses together.

3. Give friends small gifts or favors. Your attentiveness will help you get closer. If you come across something that a friend will probably like. and you can afford it, then such a gift will show your care. There is no need to look for special reasons for kind and caring deeds.

   • For example, if a friend is sick, then go visit him with chicken broth and medicine.
   • If your friend likes to knit, then you can buy her a skein of yarn in a beautiful color or new knitting needles.
   • If you want to help, but don't have any spare money, offer to look after a friend's pet while he's away or help with housework. Just make your friend's life easier and completely free!

4. Support each other in difficult situations. Friends are people you can rely on and trust in almost everything. If one of you is in a difficult situation, it can sometimes be helpful to talk about what's going on. In many cases, you will be able to offer good advice to each other. Show your friend that he can count on you not only in moments of joy.

   • You won't always have ready-made solutions, but simply listening to your friend while she tells you what happened is enough. Even talking can bring relief.
   • If you are aware of the situation, then periodically take an interest in your friend’s affairs or arrange meetings to cheer him up. For example, you could host a night of your friend’s favorite movies and video games!
   • Maintain boundaries even in difficult moments. For example, if a friend needs money, but you are not ready to help him financially, then it is better to respect such a boundary, otherwise hostility may arise between you in the future. Supporting a friend does not mean solving all his problems.

5. Share personal stories. It's not easy, but it's important for friends to share their fears, shortcomings, and concerns with each other. Such conversations help to better understand each other and strengthen relationships.

   Be sincere with your friends. Sincerity and reliability are the most important qualities of a good friend. Always tell your friends the truth, even when it's difficult. Try to tell the truth as gently and respectfully as possible, and also not in front of strangers.

   • For example, if a friend is quarreling with your mutual friend and spreading gossip about her, then you should calmly discuss the situation.
   • In this case, you can say: “I know that you are not on good terms with Jeanne right now, but I think that you should not tell her secrets to other people. I don’t want to interfere in your quarrel, but it seems to me that you will regret such an action.”
   • Lying and hiding facts from friends is wrong. If you believe that it is better for you to remain silent about your actions, then there is a possibility that such actions will be harmful to you or to others.

6. Ask your friends questions about their lives and thoughts. It's always tempting to only discuss your life and problems because it's important to you, but don't forget to be interested in the lives of your friends! Ask about work, study, hobbies. Ask for their opinions on current events or future plans.

   • For example, if a friend signed up for a football club, then ask: “How was the training? How do you like the new team?
   • If a friend is planning to go to university, then you can ask: “Are you already preparing? Do you need any help before your exams?”

7. Listen carefully to your friends. After the question, focus all your attention on your friend's answer. If necessary, respond and ask clarifying questions. Don't express your opinion about the situation until your friend finishes talking.

   • If you frequently interrupt your friend, try waiting an extra 5-10 seconds before you say anything. Many people don't realize they're interrupting others, so waiting will give your friend a chance to finish his thought.
   • When speaking face to face, maintain eye contact and avoid distractions. For example, don't play on your phone while talking to a friend.

8. Be confident in yourself and your friendships. Sometimes close relationships can cause jealousy or insecurity. Remember that you are friends for a reason, and you are a good friend.

   • There is no need to be jealous if your friend wants to meet other people. It may seem like she's not favoring you, but a person can't always only communicate with you.
   • If you are unsure, it is better to talk about your feelings with a friend and find a common solution.
9. • For example, if a friend says: “I think Auchan is closed now,” and you know the opening hours, then you can say: “Let’s check the website. It seems to me that they have extended the opening hours!”

10. Be kind and polite to your friends. Boundaries are part of any healthy relationship, so it's always important to be mindful of your friends' likes and dislikes. You should never intentionally upset or embarrass them.

    • For example, if you want to go to a party but your friend doesn't want to go, be respectful and don't force him to agree with you.
    • Never call each other names, even as a joke.

11. Don't tell your friends' secrets to anyone. If a friend has shared personal or sensitive information with you, don't tell anyone without their permission. Otherwise, rumors will arise that may hurt your friend. Show yourself as a loyal and reliable friend who can keep secrets and not give in to temptation.

    • However, if you think your friend is in danger or may harm himself, please notify doctors or the law immediately for his safety. It may look like a betrayal, but human life and health are more important.
    • It may seem like gossip will bring you closer to other people, but in reality such closeness comes at the cost of other people's happiness, so never talk about people behind their back.

How to resolve conflicts

1. Trust that your friend has the best intentions. In moments of quarrel, it often seems that your friend is simply trying to upset you. It's important to remember that he knows you better than other people. If he doesn’t like your action, then he’s probably worried and wants to protect you.

   • In conflicts, it is important to show empathy. Try to put yourself in your friend's shoes to see the situation through their eyes. Perhaps you will understand his motives.
   • Remind yourself that you certainly will not remain silent in a situation where a friend’s action goes against your beliefs.

2. Tell your friends how you feel. When you're ready to discuss a fight, start with your feelings. This will help you focus on the current problem and not return to old painful issues.

   • Formulate your statements in the first person: “I get upset when you talk about my shortcomings in the presence of strangers,” or: “I’m offended that you and your friends got together without me.”
   • Try not to start phrases with the word “you”, like: “You discussed me behind my back, and this is very ugly.”