Being faithful is difficult because... Love and loyalty - is it easy to be faithful?

How to be a faithful husband

Cheating in a relationship

How to be a faithful husband

Fidelity is a rather speculative concept, which, nevertheless, is one of the things without which marriage cannot exist. Everyone understands perfectly well what fidelity is, but if you ask for an exact definition, confusion arises.

A man either talks about fidelity in such a way that his wife asks: “Why is this not included in the concept of fidelity, are you doing this behind my back?” - and he has to make excuses. Or the man lists absolutely everything, independently turning his marriage into a prison sentence.

Therefore, when we talk about fidelity, we do not mean just one betrayal with another woman. This concept includes many connections: spiritual, ideological, material, physical, and so on. And in each of these areas, a man can cool off towards his wife, thereby transferring his interests to others.

Is it hard to be a faithful man?

If a man loves his wife, her physical characteristics fully meet the requirements of his sexuality, they have a similar outlook on life, and the man’s work brings him tremendous pleasure, then there can be no question of cheating, right? But no. The peculiarity is that men are quite hormonally dependent creatures, and on one of these climbs a man can have his head blown off. Of course, this will not necessarily be cheating with another woman; there may be other options.

A man at the age of 40 buys a motorcycle and begins to ride around the neighborhood on it, completely turning his life into a “wanderer’s path.” Naturally, this state of affairs cannot but affect the marriage. After all, he used to devote this time to his wife and family, but now he devotes it to his motorcycle. He betrayed the principles of common sense and betrayed his family.

A man, a father of 2 children, at the age of 35 understands that his calling is to serve in a monastery. Therefore, he leaves his job, leaves his wife and children to their fate and goes to serve God. For himself, he understands that this is the right path, but his wife calls it all tomfoolery and madness. Yes, he did not sleep with another woman, but he betrayed his family, the good purpose does not matter here.

The wife and husband agreed to earn some money to help their child go to college. But the man, instead of taking part-time jobs, began to stay in the garage with the men, drinking alcohol. As a result, either their common goal will not be achieved, or the woman will have to take everything into her own hands. The man betrayed this idea, he did not remain faithful to the agreement.

Therefore, it can be said quite obviously that being a faithful man is extremely hard work and a great responsibility. After all, such fidelity implies great emotional stress and the possibility of breakdowns. Believe me, we have seen a lot of good men who just got off their nerve and began to work miracles. They failed to remain a faithful man.

What to do to be a faithful husband

Personal time and hobbies. In order not to break down during moments of hormonal rise, you should have some kind of “neutral” activity that will help you calm down a little and let off steam. Let it be playing computer games, or hunting and fishing, even the same get-togethers with men can be quite useful.

However, you should be independent of such a hobby. In other words, if you need to do things, then you will do things, and not waste time on hobbies to the detriment of the main goal.

In reality, many “seductresses” tell their unsuccessful stories when they tried to seduce their boss, and he looked at them without any interest and ran off on bike rides with his friends.

Explanations to your wife. Whatever happens at work and whatever plans you have, you should always tell your spouse about it and persistently seek understanding. For example, if you want to build a garage, then you must explain everything to your wife step by step and even show her the plan. So that in the future she knows what you are doing and what you want to achieve.

This greatly increases the stability of the relationship, because now your wife will understand your actions and partially share them. This, of course, at first glance seems unnecessary and insignificant, but this is exactly what can save you from depression and “roaring” mood.

Fighting personal weakness. To be honest, in a situation where a man tries to please his wife and “bends in” a little to her wishes, there is nothing wrong. However, if it comes to a critical point with a domineering and selfish spouse, then the likelihood of cheating increases. The principle of contrast works.

In his home, a man feels weak and downtrodden; he cannot spread his wings and flutter, because his wife so carefully lowers him to the ground over and over again. And here another woman appears, who, on the contrary, praises the man and allows him to be in charge. Here either he begins to revel in his position and begins to “become a tough guy”, insulting this woman the way his wife insults him, then he is simply sent away. Or he understands that he will be better off with this woman and succumbs to her charms.

Of course, this situation partly has a positive connotation if the wife is truly a tyrant. But most often it is the man himself who allows her to behave this way. Therefore, to avoid such situations, you need to keep yourself at your best at home.

Having sex. Even with a beautiful wife who is wonderful in bed, a man can be taken to the side for the sake of variety, this is a question of temperament and character. However, in order to avoid situations where a man begins to howl due to a complete lack of sex with his wife, this issue must be resolved immediately.

We discuss this issue in another article on our portal; you can find a link to it at the end of the article.

The meaning of family life. In order not to break down overnight, you must clearly understand why you started all this in the first place. If you were planning to be happier with this girl, then do just that and don't give up.

Yes, we all have difficult times, as well as the desire to send everything to one place and close ourselves off from all problems, but, unfortunately, problems cannot be solved this way. Therefore, be a man who brings his affairs to the end, even if this is a lifelong matter!

I touched on the topic of betrayal, but now I would like to dwell on fidelity in more detail, and try to answer the question: a Is it easy to be faithful these days??
Recently I came across one interesting video, I will show it to you a little lower, where a man, one might say, resisted temptation and remained faithful to his wife, as he said, this is fundamental for him.

But, unfortunately, this does not always happen, and it is sometimes very difficult for a person to control his desires and emotions, especially when he cannot fully account for his actions, being, for example, in a state. Because of this, cheating happens much more often than we might imagine.

As I already wrote: people with money, power, and authority among others are especially susceptible to this. This video once again shows the downside of men's wealth, which most modern girls hope for.

People don't really think about their words when they stand at the altar and vow to be faithful until the end of their days, not realizing how difficult it really is. Absolutely everyone has had such situations when a person was faced with a choice (or is yet to come). And in order to overcome yourself, you need to have perseverance, will and character.

I think that remaining faithful is actually not so difficult if you value a person and are also prepared in advance for such turns of fate. I would say that life tests us for strength, whether we can resist and preserve what we have acquired earlier, or, if we succumb to temptation, survive the accompanying negative moments that undoubtedly await us in the future.

Everyone decides for themselves what to do in this or that situation, makes a choice and takes full responsibility for their actions. Being faithful and not committing betrayal towards a loved one is many times more difficult than, at the behest of emotion, succumbing to momentary weakness, which can subsequently jeopardize your entire previous life.

I also believe that love and fidelity are inseparable parts of a single whole. If you cheat on your other half, while saying that you love her, and hiding behind various excuses, then we can say that you are deceiving yourself first of all, because betrayal and love cannot be together. What do you think: is it easy to be faithful??

P.S. And in conclusion, I would like to advise you to simply be attentive to your significant other, and pay attention to their needs and requirements, for example, if your girlfriend wanted to buy new clothes, then you need to listen to her.

And as always the song of the article: Arina and Size Project – Snow is falling.

As long as humanity has existed, it has been concerned about the eternal problem of “fathers and sons,” which is based on the breakdown of ties between different generations. What leads to misunderstanding between “fathers and sons”? From the times of Socrates and Aristotle to the present day, there has been conflict in society (a disagreement, a clash underlying the struggle of heroes) between generations. This question occupied and occupies, if not central, then one of the main places in their thoughts. During rapid changes in any sphere of human life, this problem arises with a vengeance: fathers are conservatives who are alien to any changes, and children are “engines of progress” seeking to overthrow foundations and traditions and bring their ideas to life. I take “Fathers and Sons” in a broader sense than family ties.

I remember the comedy by A.S. Griboyedov "Woe from Wit". The conflict between “fathers and sons” here lies in the area of ​​worldviews, views of the world. Famusov boasts that, in his opinion, he lived his life with dignity. He argues that Sophia should not look for another role model if she has “the example of her father” in her eyes. What is interesting in this work is that the “fathers” include not only Famusov and his entourage, but also Chatsky’s peers, Sophia and Molchalin, who are members of Famusov’s society, and Chatsky, a representative of the new world, is alien to them. Alien because he thinks about the world and acts in life differently.

This social phenomenon is also reflected in Ivan Sergeevich Turgenev’s novel “Fathers and Sons,” where Evgeny Bazarov, through his behavior and statements, shows that the time in which the elder Kirsanovs and his father lived is irreversibly becoming a thing of the past, and is being replaced by an era with other principles and ideals. But even in this work, it can be noted that in its finale, Arkady, Bazarov’s former companion, and his wife Katya, young people, join the “fathers” camp. Another interesting thing about this novel is that N.P. Kirsanov is ready to agree with Bazarov’s reproaches: “The pill is bitter, but you need to swallow it!”

I can conclude that disagreements between “fathers” and “children” have always existed. Their reasons are completely different, but the essence is the same - misunderstanding of people of different eras, which can be easily avoided if you are at least a little more tolerant of each other. At the same time, I want to emphasize that no matter how fathers and sons argued, they still remained and remain close people.

Essay-reasoning on the thematic area “Fathers and Sons”
At all times, on all continents, among other material and spiritual values ​​passed on from generation to generation, there is one that you really want to get rid of, like an unhealed wound, because it cannot be called valuable. This is a generational conflict. And it becomes a disaster if the mind gives way to pride. How to build bridges between maturity and youth and cut the sword of Damocles of cold, strained (sometimes to the point of hatred) relations between fathers and children?

How to go through life: together or apart?

The answer to this question is painfully sought by parents in the family, whose children are increasingly moving away, suffering no less than them. And, of course, writers try to penetrate into the most remote corners of human suffering from misunderstanding of those closest to them. Among the masters of words this is I.S. Turgenev, who told us about the grief of the parents of his only beloved son Enyushka.

This is the fate of the author himself, whose mother was a despotic woman who did not take into account either her son’s writing abilities or his own point of view on anything, including his personal life. Of course, L.N. Tolstoy, I.A. Bunin, who told us about the problems of adolescence. Among my contemporaries is my favorite English writer, Nicholas Sparks, whose book will be discussed in my discussions on this issue.

The novel “The Last Song” is a hymn of love, manifested in everything: in a look, in a gesture, in a word, in music, and spreading to family, to friends, to our little brothers. But you have to grow to such love by making your way, and sometimes pushing your way through the unexpected obstacles that life throws at you at every step.

Get there, throwing away arrogance and pride, learning to listen and understand the language of people close to you. As the heroine of the novel Ronnie did. Just eight months ago, an eighteen-year-old girl who dreamed of a vacation with friends in Manhattan was forced, at the request of her mother, to go to her father in North Carolina for the entire summer vacation, like going to hell in the middle of nowhere.

On the way there, she asked herself questions: “why... her mother and father hate her so much,” “why did she have to go to her father, to this hopeless southern wilderness, to hell with her?” She didn’t even want to listen to her mother’s arguments that it was necessary, that her daughter had not seen her father for three years, that she did not answer the phone when her father called her, etc.

Essay-reasoning on the thematic area “Fathers and Sons”
Conflict of generations in the novel "Fathers and Sons".
In the 18th century, an ideological movement called the “Enlightenment” spread across Europe. It was imbued with the spirit of struggle against all manifestations of feudalism. Enlightenment people put forward and defended the ideas of social progress, equality, and free development of the individual.
In Russia, this historical period is marked by the appearance in the 19th century of “new people” - commoners - educated intellectuals who talk about the need to change life in the country. I.S. Turgenev noticed the beginning of the conflict in the disagreements between society and commoners. This prompted the writer to create the novel “Fathers and Sons,” in which the socio-political conflict between representatives of the nobility and commoners is the main one.
One of the representatives of the raznochintsy is the main character of the novel, Evgeny Vasilyevich Bazarov, who has amazing willpower, solid character, deep intelligence, and rare hard work. But at the same time, the shortcomings of the generation of “children” include a demonstrative indifference to art, aesthetics, music and poetry. Also, indifference to romance and love does not decorate the younger generation.
Bazarov personifies the generation of democrats. He accepts only what is useful, rejects principles and authorities. Continuous work for the benefit of society is the content of his life.
Pavel Petrovich represents the generation of liberal nobility. He claims that “... only immoral or empty people can live without principles in our time”; recognizes the old social order, not seeing any flaws in it, fearing its destruction.
The characters argue about poetry, art, philosophy. Bazarov amazes and irritates Kirsanov with his cold-blooded thoughts about the denial of personality and everything spiritual. Pavel Petrovich, on the contrary, admires nature and loves art.
The disputes between Bazarov and P.P. Kirsanov play a huge role in revealing the main contradictions of the eras. They have many directions and issues on which representatives of the younger and older generations do not agree.
Bazarov also has a conflict situation with Arkady Kirsanov. In “nihilism” he is attracted by opportunities that are usually valuable for a young person entering life - a sense of freedom, independence from traditions and authorities, the right to self-confidence and audacity. All this is combined with other properties of youth, far from “nihilistic” ideas and principles: Arkady is good-natured, ingenuously simple and attached to the poetry of traditional life, to the values ​​of “his” culture. Therefore, Turgenev refers to his generation as “fathers,” since Kirsanov’s passion for the latest teaching is quite superficial.
Part of the conflict in the novel is the relationship between Bazarov and his parents. The scene of the arrival home is even more touching than the meeting between father and son Kirsanov. You can immediately notice the boundless love of the parents for Evgeniy. Here he is remembered as a man with all his weaknesses. For them, Bazarov is little Enyushenka. But the stern nihilist hides and masks his feelings towards his parents. First of all, in front of Arkady. After all, for him, the joy of meeting on the part of the Kirsanov parents was a sign of aristocratic softness. In turn, Vasily Ivanovich and Arina Vlasyevna are afraid to “scare off” their rarely visiting son, do not interfere with him, and do not talk about their feelings.
The conflict between the main characters of Turgenev's novel is the clearest example of disputes between generations of the 60s of the 19th century. But the problem of “fathers and sons” is still relevant today. It is acutely relevant to people who belong to different generations. The generation of “fathers” tries to preserve everything that they believed in, what they lived with all their lives, sometimes not accepting the new beliefs of the young, strives to leave everything in their place, strives for peace. “Children” are more progressive, always on the move, they want to rebuild and change everything, they do not understand the passivity of their elders. The problem of “fathers and sons” arises in almost all forms of organization of human life: in the family, in the work team, in society as a whole.
This problem can be solved if the older generation is more tolerant of the younger generation, perhaps agreeing with them, and the generation of “children” will show more respect for their elders.

Being faithful to others is not so easy, as it requires patience and generosity. Loyalty is the ability to put caring for others first and be there for them in good times and bad. To show loyalty to friends, family, and loved ones, be honest, trustworthy, supportive, and generous. Maintain healthy boundaries with others to be loyal in a productive manner.

Steps

Be an honest and trustworthy person

1. Express your feelings sincerely. Try not to sugarcoat your true feelings when talking to friends, family members or a loved one. To be faithful means to not be afraid to be honest and straightforward. If you lie, you will create distrust in yourself and you will not be considered a loyal person.

   • For example, you might say to a friend, “I should say exactly what I think about this,” or say to a family member, “To be honest, I'm not sure this is a good idea...”
   • Express your sincere opinions without judgment. Instead of saying, “That's a bad idea,” or, “I wouldn't do that,” try saying something like, “It's up to you, but if I were you, I'd do it this way...”

2. Don't gossip. Talking behind people's backs is dishonest and unreliable. Don't believe gossip and don't gossip about people close to you. If you have questions or concerns, talk to the person directly instead of getting caught up in gossip and rumors.

   • If you hear other people gossiping around you, encourage them to stop. For example: “Let's not gossip or spread rumors,” or “I would rather talk to my friend or partner than believe gossip.”

3. Keep your obligations. Come to a meeting with friends if you promised. Fulfill obligations to family members. Be there for your loved one if you have given your word to do so. If you stick to your promises, you will show people that they can count on you for their support.

   • Don't be irresponsible or cancel plans at the last minute, otherwise people will think you're not trustworthy. If you are not careful in what you do, you can quickly develop a bad reputation for not keeping your promises.
   • Be on time and be there for people if you promise to. Prove by your actions that if you said you would come, then it will happen.

4. Stand up for others when necessary. Support your friends, family and partner. Stand by them like a mountain and cover their rear when they need it. Show them that you can be loyal and supportive when they need it most.

   • For example, you can stand up for a friend when someone is trying to slander or humiliate him. Or stand up for your partner when they need support during a grueling discussion or argument.

Support others and be generous

1. Support the goals, ambitions and dreams of others. Try to show genuine interest in the goals and dreams of your friends and family members. Ask questions about their ambitions and aspirations. If they ask for help in achieving a goal, give them as much support as possible.

   • For example, you can support a friend's dream of becoming a musician by attending his concerts and promoting his music on social media. Or support a family member's career goal by offering to help them prepare for an exam or test.

2. Be a good listener. Show your commitment to others by taking time to listen to them. Maintain eye contact and nod when listening to a family member or friend. Do not interrupt your interlocutor and do not speak with one voice. It is better to focus on the person and pay attention to him if he has trusted you.

   • You can also reassure friends, family, and your partner that you are available to listen to them at any time. You can say, “Just know that I am here if you need someone to talk to,” or, “I am always ready to listen and hear you.”

3. Offer positive solutions and ideas. Be supportive and generous by focusing on the positive aspects of a situation or conflict. Try to come up with solutions and ideas that will lift the spirit and productivity of others.

   • For example, you can support a friend going through a breakup by reminding him of all the positive things that are happening in his life. Or support a sick family member by exuding friendliness, positivity and energy around him to provide moral support.

4. Don't judge others for their choices or actions. Learn to have empathy for others so you can support them instead of judging them. Replace the desire to judge the person with the desire to support him.

   • For example, instead of judging a friend who is struggling with addiction, support his efforts to get help. Also, your family's different lifestyles shouldn't make you forget why these people are important to you.
   • Try not to be afraid of lifestyles or ideas that are different from yours, but rather embrace them. The hardest people to empathize with are those who are most different from ourselves.

Maintain healthy boundaries

1. Consciously choose to give devotion to others. Your loyalty should be something you give to others because you want it, not because you feel you have to. Don't feel obligated to be loyal to friends or family members who expect or demand it. It's better to be loyal to those you trust and can rely on.

   • Keep in mind that being faithful does not mean blindly following what others want or expect. Instead, you should feel a desire to be loyal to these people based on their character and actions.

2. Don't let other people take advantage of your devotion. Be aware of any friends, family members, or other loved ones who begin to take advantage of your loyalty. The relationships in your life should be harmonious and fair, where you receive as much as you give. This will prevent others from taking advantage of your loyal and caring nature.

   • If you notice that a person is taking advantage of you, take time to talk to them and explain how you feel. Solve the problem, don't ignore it. Express your feelings honestly and openly. And then the person himself will decide whether to change his behavior and whether to respond positively to your concerns.

3. Maintain your independence. Allow yourself to act on your desires from time to time. Spend plenty of time with friends and family, but also take care of yourself. Avoid being overly dependent on other people, otherwise you may start to burn out and become less confident.

   • For example, you can choose one day a week to do your own thing without your loved one. Or distribute the week so that you have time to chat with friends and be alone with yourself.